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1
00:00:05,827 --> 00:00:08,143
2
00:00:08,177 --> 00:00:10,203
One, two, three...
3
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,476
Stop moving!
4
00:00:11,501 --> 00:00:13,359
Damn it, made me lose count.
5
00:00:13,607 --> 00:00:15,797
Who's Grandpa Mort on the phone with?
6
00:00:15,822 --> 00:00:18,687
Grandpa's Mort is taking us
to the Bahamas.
7
00:00:18,712 --> 00:00:20,757
Really? We're going to the Bahamas?
8
00:00:20,782 --> 00:00:23,203
No, I'm not hearing music anymore.
9
00:00:23,617 --> 00:00:25,961
So either my hearing aids died or...
10
00:00:25,986 --> 00:00:27,156
the travel agent did.
11
00:00:27,181 --> 00:00:29,953
Oh, here, Grandpa.
We can book your rooms on...
12
00:00:29,978 --> 00:00:31,032
Hotels.com.
13
00:00:31,057 --> 00:00:32,368
You're not giving me that, man.
14
00:00:32,393 --> 00:00:34,485
I mean, what's the poing in getting
beat-up all-through highschool
15
00:00:34,510 --> 00:00:37,165
if you can show your grandfather
how to use technology, right?
16
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,821
You don't have to be a nerd to use this.
17
00:00:38,846 --> 00:00:39,820
(LAUGHS)
18
00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:43,415
So, uh, you pick the resort you want.
19
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:44,440
Right.
20
00:00:44,465 --> 00:00:45,498
Just like that.
21
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,701
Matt, you're so good.
22
00:00:46,726 --> 00:00:47,910
You're like a hacker.
23
00:00:47,935 --> 00:00:49,693
What? Oh, come on, Mom.
24
00:00:49,718 --> 00:00:51,356
I mean, anyone can do that.
25
00:00:51,381 --> 00:00:53,225
Says the guy who didn't do it.
26
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:54,756
MORT: Now let's get to the flights.
27
00:00:54,781 --> 00:00:57,006
- Okay.
- I only fly Pan Am,
28
00:00:57,406 --> 00:00:59,640
and I need to be in the smoking section.
29
00:01:03,937 --> 00:01:05,214
SOPHIA: Wow!
30
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:06,716
- This place is amazing.
- Oh!
31
00:01:06,741 --> 00:01:09,766
I feel bad. Mort's missing so much.
32
00:01:09,791 --> 00:01:12,221
- (CHUCKLES)
- Mort. Look.
33
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,990
Oh, Matthew Jerome,
I cannot believe you did this.
34
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,405
He didn't do anything.
I mean, did everyone see?
35
00:01:17,430 --> 00:01:18,594
I tipped the driver.
36
00:01:18,619 --> 00:01:20,987
Greg, you're still holding
the money in your hand.
37
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:23,716
(GASPS)
38
00:01:24,015 --> 00:01:26,168
- This is so beautiful.
- Well, you think
39
00:01:26,193 --> 00:01:27,655
the outside's beautiful... (SCOFFS)
40
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,038
... wait until you see the inside.
41
00:01:29,328 --> 00:01:32,281
- Wow, wow, wow, wow.
- (GRUNTS)
42
00:01:32,306 --> 00:01:34,843
- Greg, you got this cabana just for us?
- Huh?
43
00:01:34,868 --> 00:01:36,570
Yeah, one second. Hey, everybody!
44
00:01:36,595 --> 00:01:37,880
I got us a cabana!
45
00:01:37,905 --> 00:01:40,583
You just screamed that
directly into my face.
46
00:01:40,608 --> 00:01:41,951
Well, then, they definitely heard me.
47
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:44,913
Why aren't they all running
in here and chanting "Greg"?
48
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:48,424
Because this isn't college and
you're not doing a keg stand?
49
00:01:48,449 --> 00:01:50,292
Well, they had no problem
celebrating Matt
50
00:01:50,317 --> 00:01:52,546
when all he did was
just touch a little screen.
51
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,173
God. Are you serious?
You got this cabana
52
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:55,498
just because Matt booked the rooms?
53
00:01:55,523 --> 00:01:56,523
You're damn right I did.
54
00:01:56,548 --> 00:01:57,601
What, you think I spent all this money
55
00:01:57,626 --> 00:01:59,570
to impress you? You're not my family...
56
00:01:59,595 --> 00:02:01,694
You're just my wife...
Oh, hey, uh, Heather, hey...
57
00:02:01,719 --> 00:02:02,872
Check it out.
58
00:02:02,897 --> 00:02:04,806
I got this cabana for the whole family.
59
00:02:04,831 --> 00:02:07,065
Oh, that's so nice. Hey, do you
have a bathroom in there?
60
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,328
No.
61
00:02:08,498 --> 00:02:10,631
Okay. I think I'm gonna just
go swimming instead.
62
00:02:12,797 --> 00:02:15,709
- Go, Dad!
- (SQUEALING, LAUGHING)
63
00:02:15,838 --> 00:02:17,059
Oh, my God!
64
00:02:17,084 --> 00:02:18,587
Man, I love this resort.
65
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,100
I wish we had our honeymoon
at Baha Mar.
66
00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:23,268
Greg?
67
00:02:23,514 --> 00:02:24,970
Remember our honeymoon?
68
00:02:25,003 --> 00:02:26,878
- You were there.
- Look at them.
69
00:02:27,612 --> 00:02:29,596
It is like they are
addicted to the pool.
70
00:02:29,621 --> 00:02:32,417
And they have one at home.
I mean, we got a color TV in here.
71
00:02:32,442 --> 00:02:35,346
Yeah, I always love connecting with you.
72
00:02:35,371 --> 00:02:36,371
I don't get it.
73
00:02:36,396 --> 00:02:38,464
I just... I do not understand it.
74
00:02:38,768 --> 00:02:40,627
Okay, Greg, if you really
want your family
75
00:02:40,652 --> 00:02:43,003
to come in here so bad,
just tell 'em we want to be alone.
76
00:02:43,028 --> 00:02:44,596
That usually brings 'em running.
77
00:02:47,302 --> 00:02:48,302
That's a great idea.
78
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,588
I'll be right back.
And easy on the grapes, all right?
79
00:02:50,613 --> 00:02:51,682
Those are for everyone.
80
00:02:56,731 --> 00:02:57,731
Come on.
81
00:02:59,460 --> 00:03:00,460
Huh?
82
00:03:01,002 --> 00:03:02,366
How about this?
83
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:04,580
Welcome to our cabana.
84
00:03:04,753 --> 00:03:07,228
We've got a fully-stocked
bar over there.
85
00:03:07,541 --> 00:03:09,065
Full color TV.
86
00:03:09,177 --> 00:03:11,174
Some magazines. My, uh...
87
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:13,213
... beautiful wife.
88
00:03:13,238 --> 00:03:16,252
Always fun to come in
right under magazines.
89
00:03:16,277 --> 00:03:17,311
(CHUCKLES)
90
00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:19,338
Um, can I go back in the pool?
91
00:03:19,363 --> 00:03:20,363
Uh, yeah, sure.
92
00:03:20,390 --> 00:03:21,936
Just, uh, uh, be sure to tell everybody
93
00:03:21,961 --> 00:03:23,595
how lit it is in here. Okay?
94
00:03:23,791 --> 00:03:25,729
I guess if it comes up organically.
95
00:03:25,754 --> 00:03:27,941
But it kind of feels
desperate otherwise.
96
00:03:27,966 --> 00:03:29,565
So... bye.
97
00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:31,091
Wh-What do you mean, desperate?
98
00:03:31,171 --> 00:03:33,832
Greg, honey, who cares
if your family thinks
99
00:03:33,857 --> 00:03:35,504
you're less generous than Matt?
100
00:03:35,529 --> 00:03:37,121
Who is poor, by the way. I mean,
101
00:03:37,146 --> 00:03:39,246
let's see him get
a cabana for the family.
102
00:03:39,271 --> 00:03:42,473
It's a lot harder than just,
you know, booking rooms.
103
00:03:42,561 --> 00:03:43,795
Is it, though?
104
00:03:43,975 --> 00:03:46,646
No, it's pretty much
the exact same thing. But still!
105
00:03:46,671 --> 00:03:48,482
He just booked it for the free nights.
106
00:03:48,507 --> 00:03:49,606
Wait, what was that?
107
00:03:49,631 --> 00:03:50,701
Free nights?
108
00:03:50,726 --> 00:03:53,146
Yeah. On Hotels.com,
you get a free night
109
00:03:53,171 --> 00:03:54,371
for every ten you stay.
110
00:03:54,396 --> 00:03:55,615
Colleen was telling me all about it
111
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,287
on the flight over. By the way,
112
00:03:57,312 --> 00:03:58,850
she will still keep talking
113
00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:00,717
even if you pretend you're asleep.
114
00:04:01,052 --> 00:04:02,052
Unbelievable.
115
00:04:04,208 --> 00:04:05,208
Hey, Jen.
116
00:04:05,233 --> 00:04:06,279
I got your text.
117
00:04:06,467 --> 00:04:07,811
You want to make fun of Greg in private?
118
00:04:07,836 --> 00:04:09,916
Ha! No. (LAUGHS)
119
00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:11,896
I sent that text from Jen's phone,
120
00:04:11,921 --> 00:04:14,392
and you came running
like a little idiot.
121
00:04:14,417 --> 00:04:15,592
JEN: Oh, my God. Greg,
122
00:04:15,617 --> 00:04:17,662
you said you would let me
leave before you did this.
123
00:04:17,687 --> 00:04:19,975
No, Jen, I want you here
to witness this.
124
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,592
Prepare to be even more attracted to me.
125
00:04:23,402 --> 00:04:26,900
I know that you booked
this whole vacation
126
00:04:26,925 --> 00:04:28,936
so that you could get some free nights.
127
00:04:29,267 --> 00:04:30,912
- Yeah.
- Don't deny it.
128
00:04:31,241 --> 00:04:33,943
Colleen and I haven't taken
a trip by ourselves, ever.
129
00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:36,170
Oh, yeah, she did mention
that on the plane.
130
00:04:36,195 --> 00:04:39,037
Then she used my credit
card to order a Bistro Box.
131
00:04:39,062 --> 00:04:41,287
Well, ha-ha, how about that?
132
00:04:41,312 --> 00:04:43,584
You know, I bet the whole family
would love to know
133
00:04:43,609 --> 00:04:46,511
that you did all of this
just for your own benefit.
134
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:47,536
I told 'em.
135
00:04:47,561 --> 00:04:48,772
They were all really happy
136
00:04:48,796 --> 00:04:50,482
that we could finally
take a honeymoon together.
137
00:04:51,989 --> 00:04:53,325
Wow. (CLEARS THROAT)
138
00:04:53,404 --> 00:04:54,552
It would appear that...
139
00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:56,765
you've covered all of your bases
140
00:04:56,790 --> 00:04:57,867
and I have...
141
00:04:58,216 --> 00:04:59,783
wasted a lot of money.
142
00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:01,071
Wow, Greg.
143
00:05:01,096 --> 00:05:02,601
This is so hot.
144
00:05:03,234 --> 00:05:05,250
Really sorry that this
upset you so much.
145
00:05:05,275 --> 00:05:06,664
How 'bout I pay for this cabana?
146
00:05:06,689 --> 00:05:07,789
That make you feel better?
147
00:05:07,814 --> 00:05:09,815
Yes. Yes, it would.
148
00:05:10,203 --> 00:05:11,405
Okay.
149
00:05:11,430 --> 00:05:12,968
Boy, it's a scorcher out there.
150
00:05:12,993 --> 00:05:14,929
It's a good thing you got
this cabana, Greg.
151
00:05:14,954 --> 00:05:16,476
Actually, I'm the one
who's paying for it,
152
00:05:16,501 --> 00:05:17,953
so you should probably
be thanking me.
153
00:05:17,978 --> 00:05:19,000
Right, Greg?
154
00:05:19,025 --> 00:05:20,867
- My hero.
- Oh!
155
00:05:20,892 --> 00:05:22,236
- Mwah.
- Mwah.
156
00:05:22,261 --> 00:05:24,586
MATT: Hey, everybody, welcome
to the cabana that I'm paying for.
157
00:05:24,611 --> 00:05:25,851
- There's water, grapes.
- Oh!
158
00:05:25,876 --> 00:05:28,218
- Make yourselves at home.
- Thank you. So generous.
159
00:05:28,243 --> 00:05:29,984
- Beautiful.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
160
00:05:30,009 --> 00:05:31,343
There's a color TV.
161
00:05:32,734 --> 00:05:34,562
_
162
00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:36,884
- HEATHER: Ooh!
- Okay!
163
00:05:36,909 --> 00:05:38,495
Feeling lucky. All I need
are some numbers.
164
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,821
All right, kids' birthdays. Tyler.
165
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,080
Sam.
166
00:05:42,113 --> 00:05:43,776
And Sophia.
167
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:44,801
No.
168
00:05:44,826 --> 00:05:47,299
- Sophia's...?
- No. Not even close, babe.
169
00:05:47,324 --> 00:05:48,324
TIM: Red,
170
00:05:48,708 --> 00:05:50,698
- the color of Sophia's eyes.
- Mm.
171
00:05:50,723 --> 00:05:52,299
WOMAN: Help! We need a doctor!
172
00:05:52,324 --> 00:05:54,487
- Somebody help!
- HEATHER: Honey, that guy's choking.
173
00:05:54,512 --> 00:05:56,079
- Oh, my God.
- Okay. Hey.
174
00:05:56,104 --> 00:05:57,831
Look out! I'm a doctor!
175
00:05:58,298 --> 00:05:59,635
I'm a doctor! It's okay.
176
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,081
It's okay. You're all right, sir.
177
00:06:01,106 --> 00:06:02,940
You're all right, sir.
I got you. You ready? You ready?
178
00:06:02,965 --> 00:06:05,032
- (GRUNTING)
- Okay. Come on, come on.
179
00:06:05,057 --> 00:06:06,565
Here we go. All right.
180
00:06:07,143 --> 00:06:08,331
And one more.
181
00:06:08,356 --> 00:06:10,330
- Let's do it!
- (COUGHS, GASPS)
182
00:06:10,355 --> 00:06:12,987
- Oh! Babe, you did it!
- (APPLAUSE)
183
00:06:14,768 --> 00:06:17,018
That's my husband! That's my husband!
184
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,096
The-the doctor, not the choking guy!
185
00:06:19,121 --> 00:06:20,173
Oh, God!
186
00:06:20,198 --> 00:06:22,393
- Yes! Yes!
- Thank you. Oh.
187
00:06:22,418 --> 00:06:23,862
And he's good in bed!
188
00:06:24,557 --> 00:06:27,542
Really... just, good in bed!
189
00:06:28,165 --> 00:06:30,132
And then, just like that... boom,
190
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:32,526
your dad saved this guy's life.
191
00:06:32,551 --> 00:06:34,620
- (CHUCKLING)
- Way to go, Dad.
192
00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:36,674
Hey, does that help
with your malpractice suit?
193
00:06:37,212 --> 00:06:39,042
That's a whole separate thing.
194
00:06:39,325 --> 00:06:41,573
- Oh.
- That is so amazing.
195
00:06:41,741 --> 00:06:43,510
Hey, you know, maybe
I should be a doctor.
196
00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:44,702
Yeah, sure.
197
00:06:45,962 --> 00:06:47,010
Sure.
198
00:06:47,089 --> 00:06:48,698
And if that wasn't enough,
199
00:06:48,781 --> 00:06:50,010
it was a rich guy.
200
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,693
That's worth, like,
two normal people lives.
201
00:06:52,807 --> 00:06:54,143
Good for you, Dad.
202
00:06:54,168 --> 00:06:56,651
Oh, I wouldn't use
the word "hero," sweetie,
203
00:06:56,676 --> 00:06:58,885
but... I'm not gonna stop you if you do.
204
00:06:58,910 --> 00:07:00,229
You know what, honey, I think I'm having
205
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,854
a hard time breathing, and...
206
00:07:01,886 --> 00:07:04,292
I might need you to get
behind me later tonight.
207
00:07:04,317 --> 00:07:05,539
- No.
- Ooh.
208
00:07:05,564 --> 00:07:06,564
Ooh.
209
00:07:06,589 --> 00:07:08,964
You're literally surrounded
by your children.
210
00:07:09,007 --> 00:07:11,105
Oh, oh, you guys,
there he is. Right there.
211
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,933
This is the guy who owes
his life to your dad.
212
00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:16,613
Oh, he doesn't have
to stop a say thank you,
213
00:07:16,638 --> 00:07:18,792
but I'm not gonna deny
him the opportunity to.
214
00:07:18,817 --> 00:07:20,316
Hey. Doc...
215
00:07:24,693 --> 00:07:25,693
That's weird.
216
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,745
- Maybe he's still in shock.
- Yeah. Yeah.
217
00:07:27,770 --> 00:07:29,394
You know what?
I think I'm in shock, too.
218
00:07:29,626 --> 00:07:31,560
I think I might need someone
219
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:34,464
to knock some life
into me later tonight.
220
00:07:34,489 --> 00:07:35,489
Mom!
221
00:07:35,514 --> 00:07:37,937
- Oh, what?
- We're in a public place.
222
00:07:41,483 --> 00:07:43,132
I can't believe he didn't say thank you.
223
00:07:43,694 --> 00:07:45,312
I thought you said he was in shock.
224
00:07:45,481 --> 00:07:47,437
No. Shock's not a real thing.
225
00:07:47,462 --> 00:07:49,882
It's just something doctors say
when we don't know what's wrong.
226
00:07:49,914 --> 00:07:51,007
Well, go over there.
227
00:07:51,032 --> 00:07:53,062
Give him a chance to say thank you.
228
00:07:53,087 --> 00:07:55,140
He had his chance.
He walked right by me.
229
00:07:55,471 --> 00:07:57,077
He embarrassed me
in front of Clementine,
230
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,839
my very own daughter-in-law.
231
00:07:59,235 --> 00:08:02,585
Well, you know, honey,
he probably didn't recognize you.
232
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:05,515
I mean, the whole thing,
it happened so fast.
233
00:08:06,241 --> 00:08:08,694
- I do look like a local.
- Oh, yeah.
234
00:08:08,723 --> 00:08:10,632
- Yeah, watch my drink.
- Yeah, you got it.
235
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,312
I'm gonna watch
something else, too, there.
236
00:08:12,566 --> 00:08:14,812
Walk away slowly, hero.
237
00:08:14,837 --> 00:08:16,515
Don't. You know I hate that.
238
00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:17,929
I can still see it.
239
00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:20,571
Yeah, there's a lot there to see.
240
00:08:22,146 --> 00:08:24,352
... play tennis in the morning.
I'm gonna take a lesson.
241
00:08:24,385 --> 00:08:25,385
Hey, buddy.
242
00:08:26,012 --> 00:08:27,012
What can I do for you?
243
00:08:27,037 --> 00:08:29,524
Dr. Tim Hughes, lifesaver. (LAUGHS)
244
00:08:29,931 --> 00:08:31,446
Want to get get
your hands off me, please ?
245
00:08:31,606 --> 00:08:33,399
I saved you from choking.
246
00:08:33,424 --> 00:08:34,633
My hands were all over you.
247
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,063
(LAUGHS) Sir, I think that you've had
248
00:08:37,088 --> 00:08:38,540
a little too much to drink.
249
00:08:38,565 --> 00:08:40,047
Maybe this will jog your memory.
250
00:08:40,072 --> 00:08:41,086
Huh?
251
00:08:41,111 --> 00:08:42,468
It's the olive you almost choked on.
252
00:08:42,493 --> 00:08:43,985
I mean, it's not the exact same one,
253
00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:45,508
but I did find it on the ground.
254
00:08:45,533 --> 00:08:48,415
(LAUGHS) I have no idea
what you're talking about.
255
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,524
Honey, let's get out of here.
The guy's putting the moves on me.
256
00:08:50,549 --> 00:08:51,549
Okay?
257
00:08:53,696 --> 00:08:54,922
You're welcome.
258
00:08:57,894 --> 00:08:59,602
- He say thank you?
- No.
259
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:02,024
Man, I was so stupid to think
I could have gotten a selfie
260
00:09:02,049 --> 00:09:03,750
of the two of us posing with the olive.
261
00:09:03,859 --> 00:09:05,059
Okay, honey, you know what?
262
00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:06,821
You have all of these patients
263
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,113
that really appreciate you.
264
00:09:08,138 --> 00:09:09,618
Okay, so one doesn't. Big deal.
265
00:09:09,643 --> 00:09:11,688
No, it is a big deal, Heather.
I'm an ENT.
266
00:09:11,713 --> 00:09:15,219
I never get to swoop in and save
someone's life like a rock star.
267
00:09:15,244 --> 00:09:18,680
It's all just polyps
and throat cultures.
268
00:09:18,908 --> 00:09:20,454
That saves lives.
269
00:09:20,479 --> 00:09:22,422
Yeah, but they're asleep when I do it.
270
00:09:22,635 --> 00:09:25,710
No one's ever awake enough
during surgery to say thank you.
271
00:09:26,411 --> 00:09:27,520
Except Mr. Samson,
272
00:09:27,545 --> 00:09:29,317
but we really shouldn't
be talking about the lawsuit.
273
00:09:29,342 --> 00:09:30,342
No.
274
00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:32,676
Honey, you did the right thing.
275
00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:34,520
Okay? Remember that.
276
00:09:34,545 --> 00:09:36,479
You are a great doctor.
277
00:09:38,132 --> 00:09:39,559
I should've let him die.
278
00:09:39,678 --> 00:09:42,645
?
279
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,340
French fries.
280
00:09:44,373 --> 00:09:45,632
Oh. Mmm.
281
00:09:45,657 --> 00:09:46,997
Look at him over there.
282
00:09:47,268 --> 00:09:49,801
- Breathing, living.
- Oh, my God.
283
00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:51,465
Hoarding his gratitude.
284
00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,606
All right, Tim, honey,
you've got to just let it go.
285
00:09:53,631 --> 00:09:54,786
All right? I mean,
286
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,226
maybe he's just the kind of
guy who doesn't say thank you.
287
00:09:58,251 --> 00:10:00,989
Thank you. Thank you so much.
You're a lifesaver.
288
00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,028
Extra pickles.
289
00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:04,439
- Okay, that's it.
- Tim, honey, I...
290
00:10:04,464 --> 00:10:06,755
- Hey! What's your problem?
- Oh.
291
00:10:07,097 --> 00:10:09,364
This lemon meringue, again.
Okay, what do you want?
292
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,743
I want to hear you say, "Thank you"
293
00:10:10,768 --> 00:10:12,786
for saving my life in the casino."
294
00:10:12,811 --> 00:10:15,544
No. (STAMMERS) I don't
know what you're talking about.
295
00:10:15,569 --> 00:10:18,661
I... No, sir. (LAUGHS)
I was not in the casino.
296
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:19,942
The casino?
297
00:10:20,755 --> 00:10:21,958
Yeah, you promised you'd stop.
298
00:10:21,983 --> 00:10:23,137
Honey, please.
299
00:10:23,162 --> 00:10:24,465
Uh, uh, he's crazy.
300
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:26,630
Okay? I've never seen him
before in my life.
301
00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:28,723
- You're a lying bastard.
- S... Honey, please.
302
00:10:28,748 --> 00:10:29,770
Please!
303
00:10:30,144 --> 00:10:31,606
Oh, you're an idiot.
304
00:10:31,762 --> 00:10:33,723
I told her that I would
never gamble again.
305
00:10:33,748 --> 00:10:35,411
She said if she caught me,
she'd leave me.
306
00:10:35,436 --> 00:10:36,436
Thanks a lot.
307
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,559
Hey, I'm a doctor.
308
00:10:39,079 --> 00:10:40,544
No "thank you" necessary.
309
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,833
(LAUGHS) This guy.
310
00:10:47,718 --> 00:10:49,632
_
311
00:10:49,892 --> 00:10:52,178
COLLEEN: Honey, I know your grandpa
paid for the entire trip,
312
00:10:52,203 --> 00:10:54,499
but doesn't five bucks
feel a little cheapy?
313
00:10:54,524 --> 00:10:56,781
That's twice as much as he ever
gave me for my birthday.
314
00:10:56,806 --> 00:10:58,639
- All right, here we go.
- Okay.
315
00:10:58,664 --> 00:11:00,055
This won't take long.
316
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:05,180
(SLOT MACHINE CHIMING)
317
00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:07,171
- (MACHINE RINGING)
- (GASPS)
318
00:11:07,196 --> 00:11:08,196
Matt.
319
00:11:08,221 --> 00:11:09,887
Okay, this machine has to be broken
320
00:11:09,912 --> 00:11:11,258
because we're never lucky.
321
00:11:11,283 --> 00:11:12,672
Yeah. The last thing I won
322
00:11:12,697 --> 00:11:14,867
was a BMX bike a radio call-in.
323
00:11:14,892 --> 00:11:17,040
And then when I went to go pick it up,
it was a sting operation
324
00:11:17,065 --> 00:11:19,438
to arrest my dad
for unpaid parking tickets.
325
00:11:20,586 --> 00:11:21,876
There was no bike.
326
00:11:22,572 --> 00:11:24,573
?
327
00:11:29,594 --> 00:11:30,860
Where are Matt and Colleen?
328
00:11:30,885 --> 00:11:32,993
I thought it was going
to be the four of us.
329
00:11:33,057 --> 00:11:34,142
Yeah, I know.
330
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:35,843
Well, that might have been
the reason some of us
331
00:11:35,868 --> 00:11:37,755
even agreed to do
this in the first place.
332
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:38,860
JOAN: Oh, well.
333
00:11:38,885 --> 00:11:40,735
How often do you and I get to do
334
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,149
a quiet activity alone together
for two and a half hours?
335
00:11:44,889 --> 00:11:46,991
This is two and a half hours?
336
00:11:47,186 --> 00:11:49,087
Wow. Well... (CLEARS THROAT)
337
00:11:49,112 --> 00:11:51,220
If your critique of my art is
anything like your critique
338
00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:54,048
of my breakfast choices,
this is gonna be a lot of fun.
339
00:11:54,632 --> 00:11:58,204
Who eats sushi before
11:30 in the morning?
340
00:11:58,493 --> 00:12:00,173
No, don't raise your hand.
341
00:12:00,198 --> 00:12:01,806
I'm asking the class.
342
00:12:06,204 --> 00:12:08,540
- This is insane.
- (CHUCKLES)
343
00:12:08,565 --> 00:12:11,102
(GROANS) I'm starving and I
have to go to the bathroom.
344
00:12:11,127 --> 00:12:13,250
I know, I know. Me too.
I know, but we can't leave.
345
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,773
- N-No.
- Everybody knows
346
00:12:14,798 --> 00:12:16,282
that this is a hot machine,
347
00:12:16,647 --> 00:12:18,438
and the vultures are circling.
348
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,940
Excuse me. Uh, I believe there's
a time limit on these machines.
349
00:12:21,965 --> 00:12:23,681
Sorry. Go fly away, little birdie.
350
00:12:23,706 --> 00:12:25,618
- Fly away.
- Okay, okay. Okay.
351
00:12:25,643 --> 00:12:26,845
All right. We have to take a break.
352
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:28,407
- We have to do something.
- Okay.
353
00:12:30,324 --> 00:12:32,368
Okay, Grandpa.
354
00:12:32,393 --> 00:12:34,977
We're just gonna go ahead
and put you right here,
355
00:12:35,002 --> 00:12:36,573
and if anyone tries to wheel you away,
356
00:12:36,598 --> 00:12:37,845
you just scream, okay?
357
00:12:37,969 --> 00:12:39,870
COLLEEN: Okay, thanks. Bye.
358
00:12:40,242 --> 00:12:41,837
I don't know this show.
359
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,610
What is this show?
360
00:12:44,126 --> 00:12:45,540
Where's Andy Rooney?
361
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,462
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
362
00:12:49,487 --> 00:12:52,139
Oh, look. Hi, kids.
363
00:12:52,164 --> 00:12:53,931
- Hi!
- Oh, hey.
364
00:12:53,956 --> 00:12:55,649
Hi. Have you seen Matt and Colleen?
365
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,571
We've been searching
for them everywhere.
366
00:12:57,596 --> 00:13:00,464
They've been holed up in
the casino, missing all of this.
367
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:01,735
- Ooh.
- Oh, yeah, no.
368
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,376
- You help yourself.
- Wait a minute.
369
00:13:03,401 --> 00:13:05,068
They've been hiding out
in the casino all day?
370
00:13:05,454 --> 00:13:07,454
Man, why didn't I think of that?
371
00:13:08,086 --> 00:13:10,251
Didn't you have fun at art class?
372
00:13:11,247 --> 00:13:13,448
Well, no, I mean, the second hour
373
00:13:13,473 --> 00:13:15,602
really was a banger.
374
00:13:15,627 --> 00:13:18,781
?
375
00:13:18,806 --> 00:13:20,317
- All right. Whoa.
- (SHRIEKS)
376
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:22,453
- Oh, no, no. It's just us. It's okay.
- Oh.
377
00:13:22,478 --> 00:13:24,864
I'm glad you're back.
I'm sick of sitting here.
378
00:13:24,889 --> 00:13:27,215
I came to Nassau for the ocean view.
379
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,240
Say no more.
380
00:13:33,459 --> 00:13:34,464
There you go.
381
00:13:34,561 --> 00:13:37,178
I'm not so old that I
don't know the difference
382
00:13:37,203 --> 00:13:39,326
between a wall and the ocean.
383
00:13:40,827 --> 00:13:41,827
Oh.
384
00:13:42,137 --> 00:13:43,772
It's windy today.
385
00:13:43,903 --> 00:13:48,209
?
386
00:13:49,225 --> 00:13:51,084
There you are.
387
00:13:51,109 --> 00:13:52,967
What are you two doing?
388
00:13:52,992 --> 00:13:55,022
You've been in here all day.
389
00:13:55,186 --> 00:13:56,670
You should be outside,
390
00:13:56,695 --> 00:13:58,850
enjoying paradise.
391
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,014
And why is Mort in a time-out?
392
00:14:03,186 --> 00:14:05,153
Oh, no. He didn't say
that word again, did he?
393
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,178
Oh, no, that's just where
we're storing him.
394
00:14:07,242 --> 00:14:08,717
Storing him?
395
00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:10,091
Until we need him to hold the machine
396
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,365
when we go to the bathroom and get food,
397
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:12,451
take naps and stuff.
398
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,850
Wow. Just what he wants
to be doing on what is...
399
00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:17,139
Let's be honest... His final vacation.
400
00:14:17,428 --> 00:14:19,928
I'll be in the Bahamas next month.
401
00:14:20,709 --> 00:14:22,115
That's now, Mort.
402
00:14:22,668 --> 00:14:23,668
Here,
403
00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:25,418
let me wheel you to a different wall,
404
00:14:25,443 --> 00:14:27,139
give you a change of scenery.
405
00:14:27,164 --> 00:14:28,164
Oh.
406
00:14:28,189 --> 00:14:29,779
- Wonderful.
- This is
407
00:14:29,804 --> 00:14:32,451
a couples excursion to a private island.
408
00:14:32,476 --> 00:14:36,100
Take it, please,
and start having a real vacation.
409
00:14:38,058 --> 00:14:39,058
(SIGHS)
410
00:14:39,083 --> 00:14:40,115
All right.
411
00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:45,335
Oh, my God. (CHUCKLES)
412
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:46,842
This is...
413
00:14:47,479 --> 00:14:48,881
I mean, look.
414
00:14:48,942 --> 00:14:50,514
- Your mom is a genius.
- (CHUCKLES)
415
00:14:50,539 --> 00:14:51,803
I can't believe we almost missed this.
416
00:14:51,828 --> 00:14:53,537
(CHUCKLES): I know, right?
I mean, this is...
417
00:14:53,562 --> 00:14:54,811
- paradise.
- Mm.
418
00:14:59,045 --> 00:15:00,561
What's that noise?
419
00:15:02,139 --> 00:15:03,928
- I think that's the ocean.
- Oh.
420
00:15:04,457 --> 00:15:06,912
- It's very loud. Can't... Yeah.
- Mm.
421
00:15:09,084 --> 00:15:10,284
That sun is...
422
00:15:10,662 --> 00:15:11,995
It's really blinding.
423
00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:13,186
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
424
00:15:13,211 --> 00:15:14,926
Matt, ugh, this suck
425
00:15:14,951 --> 00:15:16,199
Yeah, no, this is ridiculous.
426
00:15:16,224 --> 00:15:17,561
I can't relax like this.
427
00:15:17,632 --> 00:15:19,495
- We need to get back to our machine.
- Yep.
428
00:15:19,528 --> 00:15:21,162
Why do we ever listen to my mom?
429
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:22,873
- She's an idiot.
- Yes.
430
00:15:22,898 --> 00:15:24,326
What was she thinking?
431
00:15:25,545 --> 00:15:27,695
Hit it. Hit it. Hit it.
432
00:15:28,703 --> 00:15:30,115
- Aah!
- Yes!
433
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:32,137
- Bring us our money!
- (CLINKING)
434
00:15:32,162 --> 00:15:34,284
We want our money!
435
00:15:34,537 --> 00:15:36,053
- Money person?
- But, seriously,
436
00:15:36,078 --> 00:15:37,303
who does bring that money?
437
00:15:38,206 --> 00:15:39,514
Hello?
438
00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:45,653
_
439
00:15:46,286 --> 00:15:48,739
I want to stand up
to make an announcement.
440
00:15:48,829 --> 00:15:51,091
(GRUNTS)
441
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,239
It'll sound the same sitting.
442
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:57,778
I didn't just bring you
here for a vacation.
443
00:15:58,141 --> 00:16:01,887
I wanted to introduce you to
someone special in my life.
444
00:16:01,912 --> 00:16:03,926
What, you're already dating someone?
445
00:16:03,951 --> 00:16:05,493
(QUIETLY): Mom just died.
446
00:16:05,518 --> 00:16:08,513
Oh, but, to be fair,
she was a horrible person.
447
00:16:08,538 --> 00:16:09,708
I'm not dating.
448
00:16:09,733 --> 00:16:11,809
I would never betray
your mother like that.
449
00:16:12,364 --> 00:16:13,426
Now, I'd like you to meet
450
00:16:13,451 --> 00:16:15,754
the son I had behind your mother's back.
451
00:16:15,899 --> 00:16:17,754
- What?
- Stuart.
452
00:16:19,496 --> 00:16:20,833
Hello, family!
453
00:16:21,008 --> 00:16:22,043
Hello!
454
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,317
Hi. How are you?
455
00:16:23,342 --> 00:16:25,395
Nice to see you. I'm your Uncle Stuart.
456
00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:27,036
- How do you do?
- The olive guy.
457
00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:28,395
Ah, it's a pleasure.
458
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:30,779
You, I know.
459
00:16:30,804 --> 00:16:32,371
You, I don't like so much.
460
00:16:32,535 --> 00:16:33,840
But I saved your life.
461
00:16:33,865 --> 00:16:35,599
Yeah, you saved my life,
you killed my marriage.
462
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,437
How could you, Dad?
463
00:16:37,462 --> 00:16:39,481
I told you... I hated your mother.
464
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:41,674
But, over time, I...
465
00:16:41,699 --> 00:16:43,231
I grew to hate his, too.
466
00:16:43,256 --> 00:16:44,469
Oh, she's a horrible woman.
467
00:16:44,494 --> 00:16:45,500
Your mother, not mine.
468
00:16:45,525 --> 00:16:46,640
God rest her soul.
469
00:16:46,758 --> 00:16:47,851
My mother, not yours.
470
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:50,511
Okay, okay. So, I'm related to this guy?
471
00:16:50,954 --> 00:16:52,804
What do you say you put out
your shaking hand and I say,
472
00:16:52,829 --> 00:16:54,172
"You put that thing away"
473
00:16:54,197 --> 00:16:55,672
and we hug like brothers?
474
00:16:55,697 --> 00:16:58,328
What do you say you and
my good-for-nothing father
475
00:16:58,353 --> 00:16:59,406
go to hell?
476
00:16:59,898 --> 00:17:01,531
And then we'll hug like brothers.
477
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,648
I'm so sorry, honey.
478
00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:08,156
I can't imagine how you feel.
479
00:17:08,181 --> 00:17:10,082
The rest of us are just reeling.
480
00:17:10,107 --> 00:17:12,461
Well, Sophia didn't seem to care much.
481
00:17:12,486 --> 00:17:13,937
Oh, but she's a child.
482
00:17:14,209 --> 00:17:16,711
Yeah, well, I'm not
giving her a birthday gift.
483
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,148
Who's the child now?
484
00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:19,510
John.
485
00:17:20,482 --> 00:17:22,289
How did he have time for another family
486
00:17:22,314 --> 00:17:24,422
when he never had time for ours?
487
00:17:24,447 --> 00:17:26,851
You know, he worked non-stop.
488
00:17:27,091 --> 00:17:28,898
Yeah, but when you think about it,
489
00:17:28,988 --> 00:17:32,140
what kind of a gym teacher
takes business trips?
490
00:17:34,265 --> 00:17:36,476
I like these. What are these, tuna?
These tuna fish?
491
00:17:36,501 --> 00:17:37,961
MORT: Uh, stingrays.
492
00:17:38,126 --> 00:17:39,627
- STUART: Stingrays?
- MORT: Yeah.
493
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:42,000
Oh, okay, yeah. Okay, I can see that.
494
00:17:42,171 --> 00:17:44,351
- You okay, Johnny?
- Yeah.
495
00:17:44,526 --> 00:17:47,359
I want to make sure you
give Junior a fair shake.
496
00:17:47,787 --> 00:17:50,289
Junior? Who's Junior?
497
00:17:50,314 --> 00:17:52,008
Oh, I don't like where this is going.
498
00:17:52,033 --> 00:17:53,351
Stuart's my middle name.
499
00:17:53,462 --> 00:17:55,515
My first name is Mort, just like Dad.
500
00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:57,875
Mort Stuart Short?
501
00:17:58,538 --> 00:18:00,922
Why do you get the most
beautiful name in the family?
502
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,726
No, honey, don't worry.
503
00:18:02,751 --> 00:18:05,601
I-I'm sure John is
a family name, too. Right?
504
00:18:05,657 --> 00:18:07,148
We let the nurse name you.
505
00:18:09,286 --> 00:18:10,554
(CHIRPING)
506
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:12,679
I should've known when I saw Dad
507
00:18:12,704 --> 00:18:14,523
having lunch with another family.
508
00:18:14,758 --> 00:18:17,045
- What? When did that happen?
- Yeah.
509
00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:18,640
At his nursing home.
510
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:22,234
He said he wanted to eat
with his other family.
511
00:18:22,259 --> 00:18:24,494
You know, I-I smiled and just left,
512
00:18:24,501 --> 00:18:26,211
knowing I'd done the right thing,
513
00:18:26,236 --> 00:18:27,703
putting him in that home.
514
00:18:27,879 --> 00:18:30,594
Oh, well, now maybe you don't
have to visit him so much.
515
00:18:30,619 --> 00:18:32,070
And you always complained
516
00:18:32,095 --> 00:18:34,273
about that difficult parking lot anyway.
517
00:18:34,460 --> 00:18:37,695
I think my dad loves the
man he named after himself
518
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,234
more than he loves me.
519
00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:42,062
And I'll bet that nurse named me
520
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:44,015
a-after a corpse in the hallway.
521
00:18:44,366 --> 00:18:47,368
John Doe Short, don't even say that.
522
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,750
You're focusing on the wrong thing.
523
00:18:49,775 --> 00:18:52,501
I mean, you can be angry
with your father
524
00:18:52,526 --> 00:18:55,258
or you can be happy you have a brother.
525
00:18:55,283 --> 00:18:57,641
I mean, you always wished
for a brother, right?
526
00:18:57,666 --> 00:19:00,235
Yeah. To teach me to play the guitar.
527
00:19:00,377 --> 00:19:02,524
But does Stuart even know how?
528
00:19:02,781 --> 00:19:05,227
I mean, he's obviously a cool guy,
529
00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:07,633
but who knows if he's musical?
530
00:19:07,658 --> 00:19:10,711
Well, why don't you talk
to him and find out?
531
00:19:12,421 --> 00:19:14,477
Oh, sure. Yeah, jazz,
532
00:19:14,657 --> 00:19:16,289
classical, calypso,
533
00:19:16,653 --> 00:19:18,727
rock, blues.
534
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,867
I hate every kind of guitar.
535
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,117
- Oh. Oh, well, then,
- Hmm.
536
00:19:24,142 --> 00:19:27,031
Uh, maybe you two can find
something else to bond over.
537
00:19:27,056 --> 00:19:28,056
No.
538
00:19:28,449 --> 00:19:30,985
No, I'm a man of very few interests.
539
00:19:31,265 --> 00:19:34,305
I'm just a guy who spent
his life in the skies.
540
00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:36,594
Oh, you're a pilot, too?
541
00:19:36,619 --> 00:19:37,852
Flight attendant!
542
00:19:38,373 --> 00:19:40,007
Oh. Yeah.
543
00:19:40,032 --> 00:19:42,764
W-Well, we'll-we'll find something.
544
00:19:54,273 --> 00:19:56,982
? "L" is for the way ?
545
00:19:57,007 --> 00:19:59,761
? You look at me ?
546
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,731
- ? "O" is for... ?
- Wow!
547
00:20:02,756 --> 00:20:03,882
Great!
548
00:20:06,046 --> 00:20:07,451
Look, uh, I'm...
549
00:20:07,476 --> 00:20:09,905
sorry I was so cold when we first met.
550
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:11,357
Oh, put that thing away.
551
00:20:11,382 --> 00:20:12,562
Come on, come on. Bring it in.
552
00:20:13,983 --> 00:20:16,966
? "E" is even more than anyone... ?
553
00:20:16,991 --> 00:20:18,179
Listen, Johnny boy,
554
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,693
having a brother takes a
little getting used to.
555
00:20:20,718 --> 00:20:22,808
I know it took me a long
time to get used to Gary.
556
00:20:22,929 --> 00:20:25,062
Oh, I don't like where this is going.
557
00:20:25,322 --> 00:20:26,322
Who's Gary?
558
00:20:26,347 --> 00:20:27,989
He's your other brother.
559
00:20:28,014 --> 00:20:29,515
Dad got around a lot.
560
00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:30,943
- You got to be kidding.
- No, no, no.
561
00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,694
You're gonna love Gary. He's the best.
562
00:20:32,719 --> 00:20:35,697
Yeah. It's Mitch
that's the real bastard.
563
00:20:35,722 --> 00:20:38,601
But that's teenagers for you.
564
00:20:39,327 --> 00:20:40,383
Mitch?
565
00:20:42,114 --> 00:20:44,546
Maybe Mitch knows
how to play the guitar.
566
00:20:44,986 --> 00:20:50,459
? LOVE was made for me, and you ?
567
00:20:55,446 --> 00:21:00,446
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
40046
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