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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:02:04,119 --> 00:02:05,120 Right, Orridge, 3 00:02:05,663 --> 00:02:07,790 Popple! Potel! 4 00:02:08,792 --> 00:02:09,793 9:20! 5 00:02:15,842 --> 00:02:19,179 ...cannot but feel deeply humbled. 6 00:02:19,346 --> 00:02:21,766 Five years ago, if I may be personal for a moment... 7 00:02:21,974 --> 00:02:24,060 a rather overawed headmaster 8 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:28,398 of a rather obscure, maintained comprehensive school... 9 00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:31,986 Stimpson. 10 00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:36,074 Can you make 3:30 Monday or 4:30 Tuesday? 11 00:02:37,201 --> 00:02:39,996 No, 10:35 on Thursday 12 00:02:40,204 --> 00:02:42,707 or 12:10 Friday. 13 00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:44,501 Ah, can't do I'm afraid. 14 00:02:47,004 --> 00:02:51,009 Or we could say 11:10 Friday week. 15 00:02:51,218 --> 00:02:53,513 That's fine for me, whatever suits you. 16 00:02:53,845 --> 00:02:54,805 Don't run! 17 00:02:55,723 --> 00:02:57,141 Sharon Seeds... 18 00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:58,519 9:20 ! 19 00:03:02,565 --> 00:03:05,150 ...arrived at the annual meeting for the first time, 20 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,779 amazed to find himself invited 21 00:03:07,946 --> 00:03:12,535 to become one of your very select handful of additional members. 22 00:03:12,785 --> 00:03:13,661 Come in! 23 00:03:14,036 --> 00:03:17,916 He listened to the headmasters of schools with great and glorious names... 24 00:03:18,041 --> 00:03:21,044 Come in ... great and glorious names... 25 00:03:21,212 --> 00:03:22,005 Headmaster... 26 00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:24,842 Eton and Harrow, Winchester and Westminster. 27 00:03:25,049 --> 00:03:26,677 Am I taking 4H in G3 28 00:03:26,885 --> 00:03:28,053 at 10:30? 29 00:03:28,262 --> 00:03:31,266 ...as they expatiated upon a variety of weighty matters, 30 00:03:31,433 --> 00:03:33,935 scarcely did our nervous new boy... 31 00:03:34,102 --> 00:03:35,228 open his mouth. 32 00:03:35,645 --> 00:03:37,188 Sorry. This is your thing with all the posh schools? 33 00:03:37,355 --> 00:03:39,066 4H in G3 at 10:30. 34 00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:40,401 2:15 okay Brian ? 35 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,529 Joan said that I'm taking 4H in G3 36 00:03:42,738 --> 00:03:43,947 at 10:30. 37 00:03:44,616 --> 00:03:46,658 I thought I was taking 4J in J3 at 11.00! 38 00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:49,622 Peter Styles is taking 4H in G3 at 10:30. 39 00:03:49,954 --> 00:03:50,997 Right Ted, 2:15. 40 00:03:51,206 --> 00:03:52,791 Slay 'em at the conference, Brian. 41 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,418 Tell all those upper-class ponces 42 00:03:54,627 --> 00:03:56,338 we're gonna hang 'em from the lamp post 43 00:03:56,545 --> 00:03:58,214 by their old school ties! 44 00:03:58,590 --> 00:03:59,215 Right, thank you Ted! 45 00:04:00,550 --> 00:04:03,512 Ah, you're taking 4G in H3 at 10:35. 46 00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:04,931 Oh, God! 47 00:04:06,683 --> 00:04:09,519 They should try having 4G at Harrow! 48 00:04:10,437 --> 00:04:14,860 Well, that obscure comprehensive school was none other... 49 00:04:15,068 --> 00:04:18,072 than Thomas Tompion. 50 00:04:21,868 --> 00:04:25,831 And that overawed new boy was none other than me. 51 00:04:26,081 --> 00:04:27,583 Little did he dream, 52 00:04:27,792 --> 00:04:31,087 within a few short years he would be standing up here himself 53 00:04:31,296 --> 00:04:35,550 as the very first comprehensive school headmaster ever... 54 00:04:37,262 --> 00:04:40,599 to become Chairman of the Headmasters' Conference. 55 00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:42,309 Clint... 56 00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:45,688 Where do you think you're going, Clint? 57 00:04:45,897 --> 00:04:47,398 The Guinness Book of Records? 58 00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:50,694 Every day this term so far, isn't it Clint? 59 00:04:52,446 --> 00:04:55,032 Well don't just stand there, Clint! Run! 60 00:04:59,162 --> 00:05:00,706 9:20, Clint. 61 00:05:02,416 --> 00:05:03,918 And come out from that doorway! 62 00:05:04,294 --> 00:05:06,255 Not you ... you! 63 00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:09,133 Yes you, I can see the smoke you fool. 64 00:05:09,341 --> 00:05:10,926 I can see your feet! 65 00:05:14,222 --> 00:05:15,223 Oh, it's you! 66 00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:59,652 Right, now I've got some sad news for you all... 67 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,781 I'm going to be away today. 68 00:06:04,032 --> 00:06:05,200 I knew you'd be heartbroken! 69 00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:09,080 Right. Now where am I going? 70 00:06:09,246 --> 00:06:13,961 To the University of Norwich in the fair county of Norfolk. 71 00:06:14,127 --> 00:06:15,671 And why am I going there? 72 00:06:16,171 --> 00:06:19,425 Because that's where this year's annual meeting 73 00:06:19,634 --> 00:06:22,220 of the Headmasters' Conference is being held, 74 00:06:22,429 --> 00:06:25,724 and you can all feel rather proud of yourselves. 75 00:06:27,602 --> 00:06:31,982 Because they don't let just any old headmasters into the Headmaster's Conference, far from it... 76 00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:36,529 The Headmaster's Conference is the organisation to which 77 00:06:36,738 --> 00:06:39,700 all the great independent schools of this country belong, places like Eton and Harrow, 78 00:06:40,158 --> 00:06:42,620 Winchester and Westminster. 79 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:45,540 The fee-paying schools. 80 00:06:45,957 --> 00:06:48,919 The 'posh' schools that we all look down our noses at, 81 00:06:49,378 --> 00:06:50,964 and that we'd all send our children to 82 00:06:51,714 --> 00:06:53,257 if only we'd got the money. 83 00:06:56,971 --> 00:06:59,890 They don't usually let in headmasters of common old garden comprehensive schools, 84 00:07:00,391 --> 00:07:02,310 of schools like this one. 85 00:07:02,519 --> 00:07:06,064 So, why you ask, why did they let me in? 86 00:07:06,274 --> 00:07:07,649 Well, I'll tell you why. They let me in 87 00:07:07,984 --> 00:07:09,443 because you and I, 88 00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:11,864 all of us together, 89 00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:16,453 have made Thomas Tompion one of the best schools in the country. 90 00:07:20,248 --> 00:07:22,500 Right then. But today... 91 00:07:23,335 --> 00:07:24,210 9:20, Linda... 92 00:07:25,046 --> 00:07:25,713 But today is 93 00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:30,010 an extra special occasion, because today 94 00:07:30,385 --> 00:07:34,097 today I take over as Chairman, 95 00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:37,186 Chairman of the Headmasters' Conference, 96 00:07:37,393 --> 00:07:38,561 and I shall be the first chairman 97 00:07:39,063 --> 00:07:42,149 in the whole of history, in the whole of history 98 00:07:43,318 --> 00:07:47,490 who is headmaster of an ordinary, common old garden state comprehensive school. 99 00:07:47,697 --> 00:07:50,701 So it really is one for the Guinness Book of Records! 100 00:07:51,494 --> 00:07:54,623 Right then! So what am I going to tell them in my speech this afternoon? 101 00:07:54,873 --> 00:07:57,669 I'm going to tell them how we did it! 102 00:07:57,876 --> 00:07:59,504 I'm going to tell them how we all decided 103 00:07:59,711 --> 00:08:02,132 that we wanted a well-run, orderly school... 104 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:07,471 a school where we all knew what we were supposed to be doing, Jimmy Picken, 105 00:08:09,516 --> 00:08:12,728 a school where we all knew which room we were supposed to be doing it in. 106 00:08:12,936 --> 00:08:14,604 I'm not looking at you, Wendy Pilbrow, 107 00:08:16,649 --> 00:08:17,692 or you, Gary Bottoms. 108 00:08:19,403 --> 00:08:22,406 ...and what we were supposed to be doing it with, Debbie Jones. 109 00:08:24,951 --> 00:08:26,452 And above all, 110 00:08:26,661 --> 00:08:29,206 Clint Ailing and Dean Schreiber, please note... 111 00:08:34,378 --> 00:08:36,047 when we were supposed to be doing it! 112 00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:41,220 Right... 113 00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:42,555 Hymn 122: 114 00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:45,517 "He Who Would Valiant Be". 115 00:09:55,476 --> 00:09:57,311 You're here again, Gayle? 116 00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,275 What are you here for, Shaun? 117 00:10:02,484 --> 00:10:03,819 Don't know. What are you here for? 118 00:10:04,027 --> 00:10:06,572 Oh, I'm... I'm merely... I'm just... 119 00:10:20,568 --> 00:10:23,488 Hello, Mrs Stimpson. 120 00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:28,661 Surprised to find you lined up with the ... 121 00:10:29,183 --> 00:10:30,893 What have you been... ? 122 00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:32,186 What? 123 00:10:32,395 --> 00:10:34,773 Did you over-cook the... ? 124 00:10:34,981 --> 00:10:36,692 Or were you late getting him his...? 125 00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:42,949 Go on, hit 'im in the face! 126 00:10:45,536 --> 00:10:48,415 If you think 9:20 outside my study means 127 00:10:48,664 --> 00:10:51,793 11:10 in the playground, then you'll be back here at 9:20 every day 128 00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:54,087 until you learn to tell the time! 129 00:10:54,338 --> 00:10:57,759 I told you 9:50; the train's not till 10:25. 130 00:10:58,301 --> 00:10:59,093 What do you want? 131 00:10:59,302 --> 00:11:01,179 Please sir, it's about starting Greek, sir. 132 00:11:01,388 --> 00:11:03,182 9:20's not starting Greek. 133 00:11:03,349 --> 00:11:06,144 9:20's not being driven to the railway station. 134 00:11:06,311 --> 00:11:07,270 What's 9:20? 135 00:11:07,479 --> 00:11:08,606 Executions, sir. 136 00:11:09,982 --> 00:11:11,066 Executions. Mr Jolly? 137 00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:15,614 I used to be like you. Always late. 138 00:11:16,781 --> 00:11:20,077 Oh yes, forever in the wrong place at the wrong time. 139 00:11:20,495 --> 00:11:23,998 I know what you mean, but I just thought I ought to... 140 00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:26,376 I thought I ought to 141 00:11:27,002 --> 00:11:28,420 One or two things... 142 00:11:28,629 --> 00:11:30,924 One or two problems... 143 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,717 One or two personal... 144 00:11:33,176 --> 00:11:34,804 I was like some miserable child 145 00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:37,640 wandering round the school, with his calculator in one hand 146 00:11:37,848 --> 00:11:40,894 and his gym shoes in the other, and not the slightest idea 147 00:11:41,103 --> 00:11:42,562 where he's supposed to be. 148 00:11:43,897 --> 00:11:45,023 G3, Leroy ! 149 00:11:47,068 --> 00:11:48,069 I know the feeling. 150 00:11:48,278 --> 00:11:49,279 We all go through it, John. 151 00:11:49,487 --> 00:11:50,781 We all get lost. 152 00:11:52,199 --> 00:11:54,326 I'm afraid I've got into... 153 00:11:57,706 --> 00:11:58,790 Bed, John. 154 00:11:59,709 --> 00:12:02,460 Oh no, no, no. Nothing like that! Well... 155 00:12:04,547 --> 00:12:06,675 Try getting out of it earlier in the morning. 156 00:12:09,136 --> 00:12:10,262 But the thing is this... 157 00:12:10,722 --> 00:12:15,101 Because the first step to knowing who we are, is knowing where we are, 158 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,604 and when we are! 159 00:12:30,161 --> 00:12:31,579 I could drive you there. 160 00:12:31,788 --> 00:12:34,291 The train doesn't go till 10:25. 161 00:12:34,499 --> 00:12:35,751 You're ashamed of me, aren't you? 162 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,378 You could go over to the hospital. 163 00:12:38,128 --> 00:12:42,760 Don't tell me you're not allowed to take wives, because if you're the chairman, you are. 164 00:12:43,344 --> 00:12:44,470 I know that. 165 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:02,158 You could take some of your old ladies out for a drive. 166 00:13:03,117 --> 00:13:07,289 I don't have to come to the dinner if that's what you're worrying about. 167 00:13:08,457 --> 00:13:11,711 I could go out and get a hamburger on my own. 168 00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:20,764 This is a historic moment. 169 00:13:20,971 --> 00:13:23,892 I stand before you today as your new chairman. 170 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:27,396 I said I could go out and get a hamburger in McDonald's. 171 00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:31,485 Good, good. And did Paul get off to school on time? 172 00:13:46,043 --> 00:13:47,796 - Right. So you'll find somewhere to park... - Park? 173 00:13:49,381 --> 00:13:51,216 Make sure the train's running. 174 00:13:51,383 --> 00:13:53,428 If it's not, you'll have to drive me there. 175 00:14:00,644 --> 00:14:02,187 Platform 3, 176 00:14:02,354 --> 00:14:04,900 10:25 to Norwich. Calling passengers... 177 00:14:14,661 --> 00:14:17,664 Right, Norwich. We're on time today, are we? 178 00:14:17,831 --> 00:14:18,750 On the left. 179 00:14:18,916 --> 00:14:19,709 Right... 180 00:14:21,002 --> 00:14:21,878 On the left, governor. Train on the left. 181 00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:24,465 Glen Scully and Mandy Kostakis ! 182 00:14:30,618 --> 00:14:34,477 Yes! ... Right. 183 00:14:35,478 --> 00:14:36,229 Tomorrow then. 184 00:14:36,729 --> 00:14:37,855 9:20! 185 00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:43,445 Right! 186 00:14:43,613 --> 00:14:44,947 On the left, then. 187 00:14:45,114 --> 00:14:45,907 Right. 188 00:14:46,116 --> 00:14:47,701 - Right? -Right. 189 00:15:04,763 --> 00:15:08,476 This is a historic moment. 190 00:15:09,018 --> 00:15:11,605 I stand before you today 191 00:15:11,772 --> 00:15:13,565 as your new chairman, 192 00:15:13,857 --> 00:15:16,235 something that few of us 193 00:15:16,402 --> 00:15:19,739 ever expected to see happen in our lifetime. 194 00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:35,843 Something that few of us expected to see in our lifetime. 195 00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:45,603 This is the train for Norwich? 196 00:15:46,564 --> 00:15:47,647 - Plymouth. - Plymouth? 197 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:49,315 That was Norwich on the left. 198 00:15:59,287 --> 00:16:00,620 Wait! Stop! 199 00:16:09,381 --> 00:16:10,507 Right! 200 00:16:12,427 --> 00:16:13,929 The 10:25 to Norwich? 201 00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:15,848 - You've missed it. - It's on time? It is running? 202 00:16:16,015 --> 00:16:18,100 It's run, it's gone, that's it. 203 00:16:18,267 --> 00:16:19,268 That's alright then. 204 00:16:22,293 --> 00:16:23,753 Gwenda! 205 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,864 Can't you tell the difference between left and right? 206 00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,450 You said Norwich... 207 00:16:31,617 --> 00:16:33,078 That's Plymouth! 208 00:16:33,244 --> 00:16:34,329 You didn't want Norwich? 209 00:16:36,915 --> 00:16:37,708 The speech! 210 00:16:37,916 --> 00:16:39,794 Speech? What, now ? 211 00:16:41,879 --> 00:16:43,798 Wait! Stop! 212 00:16:44,882 --> 00:16:47,303 They've asked me to do some damned silly things as I've stood 'ere, 213 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,680 but no one's ever asked me to make a speech before. 214 00:16:51,182 --> 00:16:53,101 Come on! Try this one then. 215 00:16:53,310 --> 00:16:54,686 Plymouth, this one. 216 00:16:56,021 --> 00:16:57,356 The speech... 217 00:16:58,441 --> 00:17:00,610 Please, could you give me the speech? 218 00:17:09,370 --> 00:17:10,455 Right! 219 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,124 He's back. 220 00:17:12,874 --> 00:17:14,752 You want the speech before you go, do you? 221 00:17:15,378 --> 00:17:17,213 "My lords, ladies and gentlemen..." 222 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,049 The next one to Norwich? 223 00:17:19,298 --> 00:17:21,760 - 2:47, change at Peterborough. - Oh! 224 00:17:23,846 --> 00:17:25,056 He didn't like it. 225 00:17:27,977 --> 00:17:28,811 Gwenda! 226 00:17:37,989 --> 00:17:41,159 Gwenda, wait ! 227 00:17:56,677 --> 00:18:00,015 Keep going, governor; it's never too late till the last moment's come... 228 00:18:01,183 --> 00:18:02,642 just so long... 229 00:18:02,893 --> 00:18:05,688 just so long as your wife hasn't taken the car! 230 00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:26,648 Gwenda! 231 00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:34,681 Where the hell is she? 232 00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:36,391 Oh, you're here. Where's Mum? 233 00:18:37,559 --> 00:18:39,770 - Don't tell me at the school. - Yeah, I think she's... 234 00:18:40,312 --> 00:18:44,401 I know she was at the school, you idiot. Where'd she go after that? Don't say the station! 235 00:18:44,568 --> 00:18:45,444 Yeah, I think she said... 236 00:18:45,902 --> 00:18:47,696 God, give me strength! 237 00:18:50,409 --> 00:18:52,244 But where is she now? 238 00:18:58,668 --> 00:18:59,836 She's not at the hospital? She's not... 239 00:18:59,857 --> 00:19:02,256 - ...driving old ladies around the countryside? - Dunno, she might have said... 240 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,299 She's at the hospital! 241 00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:10,933 Why aren't you at school? 242 00:19:11,872 --> 00:19:13,332 - Ah, well, I've got a... 243 00:19:13,394 --> 00:19:16,440 You've got a free, of course you've got a free. Only you haven't got a free... 244 00:19:16,502 --> 00:19:19,901 - No, I've got a ... - You've got a study period! 245 00:19:22,363 --> 00:19:24,408 I've got a hangover! 246 00:19:28,475 --> 00:19:30,561 Taxi, taxi, taxi! 247 00:19:57,614 --> 00:20:00,493 Please sir, I'm terribly sorry Mr Stimpson. 248 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,951 Laura ? 249 00:20:05,122 --> 00:20:07,375 I'm sorry, Mr Stimpson, I've got a free... 250 00:20:07,709 --> 00:20:09,419 Right! Laura, hospital. 251 00:20:27,691 --> 00:20:28,860 Right... 252 00:20:29,026 --> 00:20:30,403 Not far out of your way. 253 00:20:30,946 --> 00:20:33,866 It's not a free, Laura, it's a study period. 254 00:20:34,074 --> 00:20:36,785 Study periods are not frees. 255 00:20:38,121 --> 00:20:39,581 This is your parents' car, is it Laura? 256 00:20:39,789 --> 00:20:41,417 They don't mind. 257 00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:46,297 You've got A levels this year, Laura, you shouldn't be driving around in study periods; you're a prefect. 258 00:20:46,464 --> 00:20:47,799 You should be setting an example. 259 00:20:48,216 --> 00:20:50,260 Right... Left ! 260 00:21:01,107 --> 00:21:03,359 Right, wait here. 261 00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:06,696 Do you mind waiting? I don't know where she goes. 262 00:21:06,863 --> 00:21:09,116 I'm only missing biology. 263 00:21:25,093 --> 00:21:26,512 Mind the step. 264 00:21:28,347 --> 00:21:29,515 So, she said: 265 00:21:29,725 --> 00:21:34,438 "Elly, it's no use letting Lou have the sherry glasses... 266 00:21:34,855 --> 00:21:38,359 "She won't appreciate them, she won't polish them... 267 00:21:38,901 --> 00:21:41,322 "You know what she's like." So I said: "Well, all right... 268 00:21:41,654 --> 00:21:45,327 "I've no desire to burden people with possessions they don't want," I said. 269 00:21:45,576 --> 00:21:47,746 "That's not my intention and never has been." 270 00:21:48,288 --> 00:21:52,335 So naturally, she thought that if the sherry glasses aren't going to Lou, 271 00:21:52,502 --> 00:21:54,212 they'd be going to Pam. 272 00:21:54,505 --> 00:21:56,215 But I thought to myself: 273 00:21:56,672 --> 00:21:58,133 "Wait a moment, Elly..." 274 00:21:58,342 --> 00:22:00,637 Keep moving Mrs Trellis, nearly there. 275 00:22:00,844 --> 00:22:03,014 "Hold on a moment, Elly," I thought. 276 00:22:03,348 --> 00:22:05,016 Are we going to the hospital? 277 00:22:05,183 --> 00:22:06,893 We're at the hospital, Mrs Wheel. 278 00:22:07,353 --> 00:22:10,189 We're just going to have a little look at the country. 279 00:22:10,398 --> 00:22:12,691 How lovely? Ooh, isn't that lovely? 280 00:22:12,901 --> 00:22:15,195 "Not so fast, Elly," I thought. 281 00:22:15,445 --> 00:22:18,448 "If Pam gets them, she'll give them to Babs..., 282 00:22:18,783 --> 00:22:21,077 "and we all know what she'll do with them." 283 00:22:21,494 --> 00:22:23,122 Aren't we lucky! 284 00:22:23,497 --> 00:22:24,957 Are we going to the hospital? 285 00:22:25,165 --> 00:22:28,168 Don't worry, Mrs Wheel. 286 00:22:28,419 --> 00:22:31,132 We'll come back to the hospital after we've had a little look at the countryside. 287 00:22:31,549 --> 00:22:33,801 And then I thought: "Well, hold on... 288 00:22:33,968 --> 00:22:35,719 "Millie's living in Majorca. 289 00:22:36,721 --> 00:22:40,142 "Well what on Earth is she going to do with two dozen sherry glasses? 290 00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:45,606 But I thought: "Even if she wants them, how should I get them to her?" 291 00:22:48,569 --> 00:22:50,237 Aren't we lucky people ! 292 00:22:59,123 --> 00:23:00,916 Maybe I'm old-fashioned, 293 00:23:01,167 --> 00:23:04,087 maybe I don't understand modern ideas about... 294 00:23:17,019 --> 00:23:19,021 We've missed her. She's gone! 295 00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:26,990 Which way then? 296 00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:32,329 Left or right, Mr Stimpson? 297 00:23:32,329 --> 00:23:36,460 Laura, Laura. Will you drive me to Norwich? 298 00:23:36,752 --> 00:23:37,794 Okay. Where is it? 299 00:23:38,003 --> 00:23:41,256 It's vital, you see. I shouldn't ask you otherwise. It's the headmasters' conference. 300 00:23:41,965 --> 00:23:43,051 I'm the first headmaster 301 00:23:43,258 --> 00:23:46,764 of a maintained comprehensive school ever, in the whole of history, to become 302 00:23:46,971 --> 00:23:48,641 Chairman of the Headmasters' Conference. 303 00:23:49,016 --> 00:23:50,768 - Just tell me where it is. - It's not far. 304 00:23:52,436 --> 00:23:53,939 Not all that far. 305 00:23:54,564 --> 00:23:55,232 Not too far. 306 00:23:55,398 --> 00:23:56,107 Left or right? 307 00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:58,276 Oh, right... 308 00:23:58,778 --> 00:23:59,654 Left! 309 00:24:00,823 --> 00:24:02,658 No, no... right... right. 310 00:24:14,088 --> 00:24:15,965 - 163 miles... - Right. 311 00:24:17,091 --> 00:24:18,552 We'll have to ring your mum. 312 00:24:18,884 --> 00:24:20,762 Ah. They've got a phone here. I'd better speak to her myself. 313 00:24:21,096 --> 00:24:22,180 I'll do it. 314 00:24:22,849 --> 00:24:25,183 I mean, non if she's the slightest bit worried about it , Laura... 315 00:24:26,060 --> 00:24:27,729 I'll pay for the petrol, of course. 316 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,288 This is a historic moment. 317 00:24:43,414 --> 00:24:46,626 We are going a long way... We have come a long way... 318 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,087 We are going 163 miles... 319 00:24:50,339 --> 00:24:52,550 John, listen to me, I�m going away. 320 00:24:53,635 --> 00:24:54,636 It's over. 321 00:24:57,556 --> 00:24:58,599 No, Norwich. 322 00:24:58,808 --> 00:25:02,312 ... if I may be personal for a moment. I was feeling deeply historic... 323 00:25:03,689 --> 00:25:07,234 Five years ago, if I may be historic for a moment... 324 00:25:07,568 --> 00:25:10,071 I was feeling deeply humble. 325 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:14,660 An overawed master from an obscure comprehensive school. 326 00:25:14,911 --> 00:25:17,831 Every time she comes to the house, she makes some little remark... 327 00:25:18,039 --> 00:25:19,875 "Oh Elly," she goes, 328 00:25:20,125 --> 00:25:23,171 "it does take you ages to dust all your glasses... I don't know how you do it. 329 00:25:23,378 --> 00:25:26,216 "I'm sure I shouldn't like to have all those glasses to dust." 330 00:25:26,424 --> 00:25:29,052 She goes on and on about those glasses, never stops. 331 00:25:29,219 --> 00:25:31,430 I sometimes wonder if she ever thinks about anything else. 332 00:25:31,639 --> 00:25:34,058 She certainly never talks about anything else. 333 00:25:34,434 --> 00:25:36,102 Of course, I don't say a word. 334 00:25:38,355 --> 00:25:41,609 I'm not much of a talker. There's plenty I could say if I wanted to. 335 00:25:41,776 --> 00:25:43,487 Well, like that clock... 336 00:25:44,403 --> 00:25:45,656 that came to her, 337 00:25:46,156 --> 00:25:47,699 not that she's ever wound it. 338 00:25:47,866 --> 00:25:51,079 Not that she's so much as looked at it, from that day to this. 339 00:25:56,752 --> 00:25:57,753 Laura, what did she say? 340 00:25:57,920 --> 00:25:59,129 Oh, it's okay. 341 00:25:59,381 --> 00:26:04,427 ...got rooms in that house so filled with things that you can't open the door. Doesn't know what she's got herself. 342 00:26:04,679 --> 00:26:07,306 I feel very badly about this Laura. What are you missing? 343 00:26:08,015 --> 00:26:10,060 - You're missing double biology! - i don't mind. 344 00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:14,107 You should mind. You've got A levels and I'm taking you out of double biology. 345 00:26:15,315 --> 00:26:18,445 Laura, you're going to discover that life is full of the most terrible moral choices. 346 00:26:18,945 --> 00:26:20,488 In fact I said to her the other day: 347 00:26:20,656 --> 00:26:22,783 I said, "you know what's going to happen, don't you? 348 00:26:23,409 --> 00:26:28,081 "Someone's got to sort this lot out when you've gone, and it won't be Dibs, it won't be Lou... 349 00:26:28,290 --> 00:26:30,208 "oh dear, no, it'll be me!" 350 00:26:30,375 --> 00:26:34,380 But no one pays attention to what anyone says; I don't know why I waste my breath. 351 00:26:35,132 --> 00:26:38,385 I can tell you she's got a clock in that house that came from Mother 352 00:26:38,594 --> 00:26:40,889 that's worth every penny of �100. 353 00:26:41,055 --> 00:26:43,642 It's never been wound from that day to this. 354 00:26:43,850 --> 00:26:44,894 So when she's in the house the other day... 355 00:26:45,101 --> 00:26:48,231 That bloke with the doll, did they pay? 356 00:26:48,439 --> 00:26:50,024 They didn't pay! They've never paid. 357 00:26:50,192 --> 00:26:51,318 Blue 1100, was it? 358 00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:56,157 Laura Wisely ! She lives round the corner. 359 00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:58,075 She's one of his pupils. 360 00:26:58,410 --> 00:26:59,828 How lovely! 361 00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:03,040 I saw the train leave. 362 00:27:03,499 --> 00:27:04,750 Isn't that lovely? 363 00:27:04,959 --> 00:27:06,711 The number! The number! 364 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,006 I don't believe this; there goes another one! 365 00:27:16,431 --> 00:27:18,558 Don't worry, it's okay. Honestly. 366 00:27:19,852 --> 00:27:23,689 If Thomas Tompion is a success story, it is because we insist 367 00:27:23,899 --> 00:27:27,528 upon certain traditional standards. 368 00:27:27,778 --> 00:27:28,862 Speech. 369 00:27:29,447 --> 00:27:30,573 It's on the train. 370 00:27:34,661 --> 00:27:39,166 I should like at this point, if I may, to pause for three hours 371 00:27:39,918 --> 00:27:43,338 160 miles in three hours... to pause for 372 00:27:43,506 --> 00:27:44,881 say three-and-a-half hours 373 00:27:45,091 --> 00:27:47,635 three-and-a-half into 160... 374 00:27:47,802 --> 00:27:48,845 It's a good thing, actually. 375 00:27:49,388 --> 00:27:51,515 If you hadn't have come along, I might not be here now. 376 00:27:53,016 --> 00:27:54,142 I had this great row 377 00:27:54,394 --> 00:27:55,353 with this bloke. 378 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,398 I run back to the house and I saw the car keys, and I thought, "Right!" 379 00:27:58,648 --> 00:28:01,986 We all understand, I think, that lateness is a discourtesy to others. 380 00:28:03,696 --> 00:28:05,532 What is sometimes forgotten these days 381 00:28:05,781 --> 00:28:08,785 is that it is three-and-a-half into 16 382 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,745 It's about 50 miles an hour. 383 00:28:11,204 --> 00:28:14,417 He didn't like it when I told him I was driving to Norwich with someone. 384 00:28:14,625 --> 00:28:15,334 "Who?" he said, 385 00:28:15,501 --> 00:28:16,919 "Who? Who?" 386 00:28:17,461 --> 00:28:18,505 He's so jealous. 387 00:28:18,964 --> 00:28:20,924 You told him you were driving to Norwich? 388 00:28:22,302 --> 00:28:24,429 - You told who you were driving to Norwich? - This bloke. 389 00:28:30,561 --> 00:28:32,606 I couldn't ring Mum; she'd have gone mad. 390 00:28:32,772 --> 00:28:34,816 But we can't stop again. 391 00:28:36,152 --> 00:28:37,195 And I never paid for the petrol. 392 00:28:40,740 --> 00:28:41,867 Mrs Wisely ? 393 00:28:42,034 --> 00:28:42,701 Police ? 394 00:28:42,868 --> 00:28:44,370 No, Jolly. Mr Jolly. 395 00:28:44,828 --> 00:28:47,749 I just wondered if Laura was... Are you Laura's....police? 396 00:28:49,543 --> 00:28:53,339 Laura's at school, dear. I'm on the phone. The car's been stolen. 397 00:28:53,547 --> 00:28:55,216 No, it isn't the police. 398 00:28:56,676 --> 00:28:57,761 It's someone for Laura. 399 00:28:57,969 --> 00:28:59,763 It's my husband. He's beside himself. 400 00:29:00,305 --> 00:29:03,309 Well you'll have to come back and speak to them, give them a description. 401 00:29:03,684 --> 00:29:05,353 I can't give them a description. 402 00:29:05,645 --> 00:29:08,314 Is it a Morris or an 1100? I don't know. 403 00:29:09,107 --> 00:29:12,486 He's in such a state he doesn't know what he's doing. He lives for that car. 404 00:29:12,903 --> 00:29:15,032 If it's standing outside in the drive, he goes to pieces. 405 00:29:15,823 --> 00:29:17,576 Is it the anti-nuclear, dear? 406 00:29:17,868 --> 00:29:20,580 No, no, it's just that Laura's not at... 407 00:29:21,205 --> 00:29:23,833 I don't want to alarm you, but just thought I... 408 00:29:24,084 --> 00:29:27,880 Laura. She's disappeared. No one knows where she is. 409 00:29:29,298 --> 00:29:31,176 No, he's just said. 410 00:29:31,343 --> 00:29:33,387 He's here now. He's just told me. 411 00:29:33,971 --> 00:29:35,056 Who are you? 412 00:29:35,223 --> 00:29:38,893 - I am, well, I'm one of the staff at the... - He's one of the staff at the ... 413 00:29:39,018 --> 00:29:40,103 You know, the music... 414 00:29:40,311 --> 00:29:41,355 He's the music. 415 00:29:45,819 --> 00:29:46,903 He's coming home. 416 00:29:47,195 --> 00:29:49,699 He doesn't know what he's doing. He's going to do someone an injury. 417 00:29:51,157 --> 00:29:53,160 And you've no idea where she is? 418 00:29:53,369 --> 00:29:55,831 Well, does she have any relations... 419 00:29:55,998 --> 00:29:58,709 I just wondered if she had any sort of.. 420 00:29:59,751 --> 00:30:00,794 well... in Norwich ? 421 00:30:01,254 --> 00:30:03,652 - Is this the hospital? - No! 422 00:30:04,257 --> 00:30:06,384 Just wait there. Don't move. 423 00:30:07,468 --> 00:30:08,637 Ooh, doesn't this make a change! 424 00:30:09,305 --> 00:30:12,516 No, it's not, it's Mrs... isn't it Mrs Stimpson? 425 00:30:12,726 --> 00:30:14,019 I'm sorry, I just wondered 426 00:30:14,184 --> 00:30:15,520 Laura's disappeared! 427 00:30:15,687 --> 00:30:16,856 She didn't tell you she was going? 428 00:30:17,023 --> 00:30:18,816 Not a word, and the car's been stolen! 429 00:30:18,983 --> 00:30:21,486 I'm so sorry, Mrs Wisely, I'm so sorry... 430 00:30:21,652 --> 00:30:25,200 We're waiting for the police. My husband's out of his mind with worry. 431 00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:26,366 He says... 432 00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:28,660 that she's in Norwich. 433 00:30:29,204 --> 00:30:33,083 I just somehow thought perhaps... Oh hello, Mrs Stimpson. I just wondered if... 434 00:30:33,292 --> 00:30:35,586 Of course everyone knows except me! 435 00:30:35,753 --> 00:30:37,421 Why Norwich? What could she be doing in Norwich? 436 00:30:37,631 --> 00:30:39,633 I'll tell you what she's doing in Norwich. 437 00:30:39,799 --> 00:30:43,011 She's going to the annual meeting of the Headmasters' Conference. 438 00:30:43,053 --> 00:30:44,305 - Oh no. - You mean...? 439 00:30:44,472 --> 00:30:46,015 - Yes. - You don't mean...? 440 00:30:46,225 --> 00:30:48,267 Of course, he wouldn't take me. 441 00:30:48,434 --> 00:30:51,855 I said I'd sit in the hotel, I'd eat in McDonalds, but oh no, 442 00:30:52,022 --> 00:30:53,148 because he's taking her. 443 00:30:53,358 --> 00:30:55,902 She said it was cello, every evening, I knew it wasn't cello! 444 00:30:56,111 --> 00:30:57,487 A schoolgirl, a child... 445 00:30:57,655 --> 00:30:58,989 She's got her A levels. 446 00:30:59,198 --> 00:31:02,118 Look! A little family party. Isn't that nice! 447 00:31:02,285 --> 00:31:05,581 I think I'd better... I think I must be... 448 00:31:06,039 --> 00:31:08,125 I haven't said anything about his work, work, work... 449 00:31:08,584 --> 00:31:12,756 I haven't said anything about his everlasting Conservative meetings, but I'm not going to put up with this. 450 00:31:12,965 --> 00:31:15,175 Which one's the hospital? 451 00:31:16,886 --> 00:31:19,346 The hospital? I think it's on the bypass 452 00:31:19,973 --> 00:31:21,350 Her father'll kill her. 453 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,935 Can we see over the house? Is it open today? 454 00:31:33,405 --> 00:31:34,615 Get in the car! 455 00:31:37,034 --> 00:31:38,912 I told you to stay in the car. 456 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:40,247 What a day! 457 00:31:40,998 --> 00:31:43,813 - Where next? - Norwich! 458 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,588 So she said: "What happened to Mother's blue tea counter?" 459 00:31:46,796 --> 00:31:47,965 And I said: "well, you're the last person to ask..." 460 00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:49,424 Where's the other one? 461 00:31:50,885 --> 00:31:53,805 She's in Norwich, at a conference of headmasters with the headmaster. 462 00:31:54,264 --> 00:31:57,642 His wife's beside herself, and what about her A levels? We've got to find her, Ted. 463 00:31:57,893 --> 00:32:01,105 You've got to talk to her. Get the car out. Oh, the car's been stolen. 464 00:32:01,355 --> 00:32:04,151 She's taken the car. She can't drive. 465 00:32:08,031 --> 00:32:09,782 Mrs Wisely? Stolen car? 466 00:32:10,241 --> 00:32:13,119 - There! There. -There. 467 00:32:13,579 --> 00:32:14,580 Here. 468 00:32:26,344 --> 00:32:28,554 Now keep calm. Don't go mad. 469 00:32:28,971 --> 00:32:30,474 Well, what are you waiting for? 470 00:32:36,231 --> 00:32:37,398 "Mother's blue teapot indeed," I said. 471 00:32:37,565 --> 00:32:40,819 "well you should know, you were the last to see it." 472 00:32:41,737 --> 00:32:45,033 Then the next thing I know, she's eyeing the sherry glasses. 473 00:32:45,450 --> 00:32:49,538 She's always been eyeing the sherry glasses ever since she first came to the home... 474 00:32:50,623 --> 00:32:52,375 - Ten o'clock in the morning? - What? 475 00:32:53,126 --> 00:32:54,524 You had a row with your boyfriend 476 00:32:54,524 --> 00:32:56,880 - at 10 o'clock in the morning? - I had a free. 477 00:32:57,089 --> 00:33:00,426 Study periods are for study, Laura. 478 00:33:01,595 --> 00:33:03,305 Evening is the proper time to have rows 479 00:33:03,471 --> 00:33:04,515 with your boyfriend. 480 00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:06,433 I couldn't see him in the evening. 481 00:33:06,601 --> 00:33:08,853 Does the sun ever appear late over the horizon, saying 482 00:33:09,061 --> 00:33:11,648 please sir, the bus was full, the train was on strike? 483 00:33:12,524 --> 00:33:14,401 His wife wouldn't let him go out in the evening. 484 00:33:14,735 --> 00:33:17,655 If the sun depended on public transport to arrive each day... 485 00:33:17,863 --> 00:33:18,490 His wife? 486 00:33:19,115 --> 00:33:21,034 It's okay. He didn't get on with her. 487 00:33:26,291 --> 00:33:27,668 I suppose you have passed the driving test, Laura. 488 00:33:28,669 --> 00:33:29,670 As good as... 489 00:33:29,878 --> 00:33:30,629 What's that supposed to mean? 490 00:33:31,338 --> 00:33:32,548 I only failed on one thing. 491 00:33:33,007 --> 00:33:33,841 Right. Pull in! 492 00:33:34,926 --> 00:33:36,553 Now please, at once. 493 00:33:48,483 --> 00:33:50,987 Let's get one thing straight at any rate. 494 00:33:55,826 --> 00:33:57,411 Get in the other side. 495 00:34:04,085 --> 00:34:04,794 Blue 1100. 496 00:34:05,379 --> 00:34:07,049 Million blue 1100s. 497 00:34:07,256 --> 00:34:09,343 A middle-aged man and a girl. 498 00:34:13,181 --> 00:34:15,098 That's life I'm afraid, Laura. 499 00:34:15,266 --> 00:34:18,019 You can drive, but you haven't passed the test. 500 00:34:18,436 --> 00:34:21,565 I, on the other hand, have passed the test but wouldn't claim... 501 00:35:35,028 --> 00:35:36,947 Don't worry, we'll just pull the wing away from the wheel. 502 00:35:37,531 --> 00:35:38,700 She'll be all right. 503 00:35:39,701 --> 00:35:41,828 It'll all be covered, Laura. Your dad's insurance... 504 00:35:43,413 --> 00:35:45,332 I'm the one they'll summons, 505 00:35:46,166 --> 00:35:47,293 - and the one who'll have to tell your dad... - Yes, 506 00:35:47,543 --> 00:35:50,714 and another thing. Have you stopped for petrol anywhere? 507 00:35:54,384 --> 00:35:55,595 Petrol? 508 00:35:58,556 --> 00:35:59,600 No, we filled it up yesterday. 509 00:36:05,607 --> 00:36:06,274 Didn't we, Laura? 510 00:36:29,364 --> 00:36:32,514 No!! That's part of our car! 511 00:36:42,441 --> 00:36:44,778 It's jangling all about, I can hear it. 512 00:36:45,446 --> 00:36:46,738 It's scratching the paint. 513 00:36:46,905 --> 00:36:49,951 We must find a phone, warn them I'm not going to be there until 4.00. 514 00:36:51,287 --> 00:36:54,081 Does the tide ever go out during a study period, saying: 515 00:36:54,248 --> 00:36:57,127 "please sir, I'm having a row with my boyfriend"? 516 00:36:59,713 --> 00:37:02,133 It isn't someone on the staff, is it? 517 00:37:03,134 --> 00:37:04,593 It's not Mr Slidewell? 518 00:37:09,308 --> 00:37:09,975 Mr Fellowdew? 519 00:37:15,523 --> 00:37:16,734 - It's not Mr Jolly? - No. 520 00:37:18,569 --> 00:37:19,403 I wasn't anywhere near him. 521 00:37:20,905 --> 00:37:23,491 You realise if you're not licensed, we're not insured. 522 00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:25,786 12:59... 523 00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:31,876 Phone! Here we are. 524 00:37:42,723 --> 00:37:44,726 10p. Have you got 10p? 525 00:37:54,403 --> 00:37:57,511 Alright then, in the third race tipping no.4 for a win and no.7... 526 00:37:57,512 --> 00:37:59,076 Sorry! 527 00:38:44,505 --> 00:38:46,300 University of Norwich. 528 00:39:12,246 --> 00:39:13,373 They're vandalising 529 00:39:13,539 --> 00:39:15,417 those phones again, Pat. 530 00:39:15,625 --> 00:39:17,461 All right Mum, just go. 531 00:39:17,628 --> 00:39:18,630 - When's lunch? - Now. 532 00:39:18,837 --> 00:39:20,089 Granny's just getting it. 533 00:39:20,423 --> 00:39:22,050 Tell Tom and Boo lunch is on the table. 534 00:39:22,259 --> 00:39:24,427 The phones, Pat! 535 00:39:25,346 --> 00:39:27,390 They're at the phones again. 536 00:39:28,599 --> 00:39:30,144 I'll just put my woolly on. 537 00:39:32,354 --> 00:39:34,065 University of Norwich. 538 00:40:02,807 --> 00:40:04,267 A girl and a boy. 539 00:40:04,517 --> 00:40:07,522 He's showing off his muscles, and she's egging him on. 540 00:40:07,772 --> 00:40:10,274 I'll try and keep them talking till the police get here. 541 00:40:17,826 --> 00:40:19,159 University of Norwich. 542 00:40:19,411 --> 00:40:20,286 Thank God, look 543 00:40:20,495 --> 00:40:23,124 I'm calling long distance, and I've only got one 10p, 544 00:40:23,331 --> 00:40:27,129 so could you please give a message to the secretary of the Headmasters' Conference? 545 00:40:27,294 --> 00:40:28,629 University of Norwich. 546 00:40:28,879 --> 00:40:31,718 Yes, our annual meeting's being held there; it starts at 5.00. 547 00:40:31,925 --> 00:40:34,721 Would you tell him I was supposed to be there at 3.00... 548 00:40:34,929 --> 00:40:36,180 Hello. University of Norwich. 549 00:40:36,389 --> 00:40:37,473 Can't you hear me? 550 00:40:37,682 --> 00:40:39,727 I said, would you tell him I'm going to be slightly late 551 00:40:39,892 --> 00:40:41,687 Put your money in the box, caller. 552 00:40:42,229 --> 00:40:43,939 I've put my money in the box! 553 00:40:44,149 --> 00:40:45,859 It's eaten the money. 554 00:40:46,193 --> 00:40:48,528 I haven't got any more money. 555 00:41:07,134 --> 00:41:07,885 How old are you? 556 00:41:08,094 --> 00:41:09,179 It's out of order. 557 00:41:12,307 --> 00:41:14,393 I'll tell you how old you are. 558 00:41:15,227 --> 00:41:17,313 You're two years and one day older than me. 559 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,524 I mean it took the money, and 560 00:41:21,818 --> 00:41:22,570 Pat? 561 00:41:24,321 --> 00:41:27,596 - Fancy meeting you like this! - Good God! 562 00:41:28,702 --> 00:41:30,287 - You don't live here? - No, no. 563 00:41:32,414 --> 00:41:35,751 I don't live here. I don't even live in England. I'm just seeing my mum. 564 00:41:36,086 --> 00:41:37,671 Isn't that amazing! 565 00:41:38,151 --> 00:41:40,403 - Well... - Anyway, run. 566 00:41:40,361 --> 00:41:43,678 you don't have to tell me what you're up to these days because I can see... 567 00:41:43,928 --> 00:41:44,971 you're late! 568 00:41:45,138 --> 00:41:46,556 No, no no; it was the third telephone box in a row... 569 00:41:46,766 --> 00:41:48,184 Still late for everything, are you Brian? 570 00:41:48,350 --> 00:41:49,477 No, I'm not late these days as a matter of fact... 571 00:41:49,769 --> 00:41:52,356 What was it this time, Brain? Buses on strike? Got the wrong train? 572 00:41:52,522 --> 00:41:53,357 I'm not late! Ha, ha, ha... 573 00:41:54,858 --> 00:41:56,610 I'd say come and have lunch. 574 00:41:56,819 --> 00:41:57,736 Um, unfortunately 575 00:41:57,904 --> 00:42:00,198 All right, Brian. Just your luck isn't it. 576 00:42:00,365 --> 00:42:03,702 Running into someone you haven't seen for twenty years when you're late already. 577 00:42:03,911 --> 00:42:06,831 No, no I'm not late. I'm merely in a hurry. 578 00:42:07,581 --> 00:42:08,396 Well, give me a kiss 579 00:42:08,604 --> 00:42:10,043 and I'll let you run. 580 00:42:18,804 --> 00:42:20,806 Lovely to see you again, Brian. 581 00:42:22,142 --> 00:42:23,517 Here, come on, and I'll give you Mum's number. 582 00:42:23,685 --> 00:42:25,207 You can phone me when you've got a moment. 583 00:42:25,208 --> 00:42:26,251 Oh, right. 584 00:42:27,313 --> 00:42:30,735 You won't believe this, but your dad and I... 585 00:42:30,900 --> 00:42:32,842 were at training college together, and he was late... 586 00:42:32,945 --> 00:42:34,406 Pat, could I make a phone call? 587 00:42:34,406 --> 00:42:36,783 He was late the first time he took me out, 588 00:42:36,992 --> 00:42:38,036 He was late every time he took me out. 589 00:42:38,578 --> 00:42:41,789 He was late the day he collected his diploma. 590 00:42:41,956 --> 00:42:43,042 Oh, he hasn't told you about all that. 591 00:42:44,375 --> 00:42:46,962 Haven't you told her about your murky past then? 592 00:42:47,755 --> 00:42:49,006 He's not even listening. 593 00:42:52,010 --> 00:42:53,720 I said you're not even listening. 594 00:42:53,929 --> 00:42:55,263 I suppose not. 595 00:42:59,310 --> 00:43:00,144 Out! 596 00:43:03,398 --> 00:43:06,569 Well, I can see your mind's on other things. I mustn�t hold you up. 597 00:43:06,778 --> 00:43:07,612 Yes, we must be on our way. 598 00:43:09,010 --> 00:43:11,534 - No! - She won't let... 599 00:43:11,804 --> 00:43:14,058 poor old dad drive, will she? 600 00:43:14,078 --> 00:43:15,955 No, I won't. 601 00:43:16,163 --> 00:43:17,854 She's lovely, Brian. A real glint in her eye. 602 00:43:18,604 --> 00:43:21,129 Yes. Ah, Pat? Can you drive? 603 00:43:21,378 --> 00:43:23,881 Great to see you anyway. Can I drive? 604 00:43:24,090 --> 00:43:25,550 You passed your test? You've got a licence? 605 00:43:25,634 --> 00:43:28,324 Yes. What's all this about? 606 00:43:28,387 --> 00:43:31,557 Have a drive! Go on! See what you think. All right? 607 00:43:33,017 --> 00:43:34,394 Just round the block. 608 00:43:40,735 --> 00:43:42,780 I'd like to know what you think. Come on! 609 00:43:43,614 --> 00:43:45,136 Well I thought you were late. 610 00:43:45,511 --> 00:43:47,075 Ah, I'm not late! Ha, ha, ha, ha... 611 00:43:48,828 --> 00:43:49,954 Funny man you are, Brian. 612 00:43:58,214 --> 00:44:00,217 I haven't driven in this country for twenty years. 613 00:44:00,384 --> 00:44:01,093 Never mind, off you go. 614 00:44:01,259 --> 00:44:02,803 - Married a dentist down under. - Right. 615 00:44:03,053 --> 00:44:05,390 Just brought the kids over to stay with Mum. We were going to have lunch. 616 00:44:05,431 --> 00:44:07,100 - Right. Let's go. - You've got time for lunch, haven't you? 617 00:44:07,308 --> 00:44:08,851 I bet you're starving. 618 00:44:09,018 --> 00:44:11,272 I've got one your age. - Later. Get the driving over first! 619 00:44:12,773 --> 00:44:14,025 Once round the block then... 620 00:44:14,233 --> 00:44:15,652 Close your eyes and pray. 621 00:44:17,779 --> 00:44:18,822 - On the left still, isn't it? - Right. 622 00:44:19,803 --> 00:44:20,782 On the right? 623 00:44:20,846 --> 00:44:21,909 Left, left. 624 00:44:21,972 --> 00:44:22,994 Right. 625 00:44:31,296 --> 00:44:32,985 Stop them! Stop them! 626 00:44:33,798 --> 00:44:35,426 What? They, they did the phone? 627 00:44:35,593 --> 00:44:38,304 The phone yes, but now they've kidnapped my daughter. 628 00:44:38,596 --> 00:44:39,972 It's lovely. 629 00:44:40,076 --> 00:44:40,827 What? 630 00:44:41,119 --> 00:44:44,248 - The car. - Oh, right. 631 00:44:50,965 --> 00:44:53,593 There's perhaps something not quite right up here somewhere. 632 00:44:53,844 --> 00:44:55,096 That's the wing. 633 00:44:55,303 --> 00:44:56,639 The wing? 634 00:44:57,305 --> 00:45:00,394 He pulled it off. Dad'll kill me. 635 00:45:03,188 --> 00:45:06,191 It's Dad's car. It's not his car. 636 00:45:06,943 --> 00:45:10,113 He's not my father. He's Mr Stimpson. 637 00:45:14,535 --> 00:45:17,204 Why did you tell her I was your daughter? 638 00:45:18,163 --> 00:45:20,625 Daughter? Who, me? No, son. I haven't got a daughter. 639 00:45:24,255 --> 00:45:26,090 What, Laura? Laura's one of my girls. 640 00:45:27,925 --> 00:45:31,555 One of my sixth formers. She's very kindly driving me to Norwich. 641 00:45:31,847 --> 00:45:34,475 It's a headmasters conference; I'm a headmaster now. 642 00:45:34,766 --> 00:45:37,228 Yes, well I'll say 'goodbye' then, Brian. 643 00:45:38,439 --> 00:45:39,063 You can't stop here! 644 00:45:39,355 --> 00:45:40,691 It's all right, I'll walk back. 645 00:45:40,858 --> 00:45:41,567 The police... 646 00:45:42,985 --> 00:45:45,656 It's your life, Brian. I don't want to say anything. I just don't want to get involved. 647 00:45:45,822 --> 00:45:46,823 Keep going, keep going! 648 00:45:48,262 --> 00:45:51,746 We'll be out in the county in a minute. My children don't know where I am. 649 00:45:51,788 --> 00:45:54,041 - We're just sitting down to lunch. - It's all right. We'll find a bus stop. 650 00:45:54,248 --> 00:45:55,668 - Find a bus stop? - Here's a bus stop. 651 00:45:55,918 --> 00:45:57,212 You can't stop at a bus stop. 652 00:45:57,544 --> 00:45:58,379 Well where am I going? 653 00:45:58,545 --> 00:45:59,546 Straight on. 654 00:46:03,510 --> 00:46:04,803 Well done. 655 00:46:04,970 --> 00:46:05,888 Hooting. 656 00:46:06,096 --> 00:46:06,764 Oh, don't mind him! 657 00:46:07,682 --> 00:46:10,435 I don't know where we are. I don't know where we're going! 658 00:46:10,644 --> 00:46:11,937 I'll tell you. One moment. 659 00:46:17,548 --> 00:46:18,550 It was always the same thing. 660 00:46:18,757 --> 00:46:20,093 You feel sorry for them, don't you? 661 00:46:20,260 --> 00:46:22,929 You'd start off in evening dress and silver dance shoes, 662 00:46:23,138 --> 00:46:25,307 and end up running, your skirt in your hand and your heel down a grating. 663 00:46:26,016 --> 00:46:27,476 And then they turn round and scream at you. 664 00:46:27,726 --> 00:46:30,021 - Next left. Be posted to Northampton. - Northampton! 665 00:46:31,940 --> 00:46:32,816 We'll put you on the train. 666 00:46:33,025 --> 00:46:35,736 What do you mean you'll put me on the train? They're sitting round the table, 667 00:46:35,944 --> 00:46:36,988 waiting to start lunch! 668 00:46:37,196 --> 00:46:37,864 Get a move on then! 669 00:46:40,241 --> 00:46:41,743 Put your foot down! 670 00:46:41,994 --> 00:46:43,579 It's like being nineteen again. 671 00:46:43,954 --> 00:46:45,874 I hated being nineteen. 672 00:46:49,294 --> 00:46:50,796 Right, fine. 673 00:46:51,213 --> 00:46:54,842 We shouldn't be doing this kind of speed, not in a car like this. 674 00:46:54,843 --> 00:46:55,886 Right, right. 675 00:46:57,263 --> 00:46:59,472 Listen to it, it's coming to pieces. 676 00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,267 Terrible. 677 00:47:02,059 --> 00:47:04,563 Now where am I going? I'm going left, am I? 678 00:47:05,855 --> 00:47:06,856 Right, right. 679 00:47:07,024 --> 00:47:08,025 Right? 680 00:47:16,452 --> 00:47:18,537 All right, 10 minutes and we'll be in Northampton. 681 00:47:18,997 --> 00:47:20,248 Northampton was left. 682 00:47:20,497 --> 00:47:21,499 That was our turn? 683 00:47:21,708 --> 00:47:23,418 - You said 'right'. - I said "left"! 684 00:47:23,627 --> 00:47:25,880 Brian, don't you shout at me. 685 00:47:26,047 --> 00:47:27,381 Can't anyone tell left from right? 686 00:47:27,590 --> 00:47:28,841 She's doing her best. 687 00:47:29,593 --> 00:47:33,096 Right. Just take the next left, will you? 688 00:47:33,348 --> 00:47:34,139 I'll get straight out of the car. 689 00:47:34,806 --> 00:47:37,060 You can't get out of the car now till we get to Northampton. 690 00:47:37,226 --> 00:47:38,019 Always late, 691 00:47:38,436 --> 00:47:40,940 and always trying to make it my fault, always screaming at me. 692 00:47:41,190 --> 00:47:45,237 I was not screaming, I was merely saying 'left'. 693 00:47:45,737 --> 00:47:49,407 Now they've made you headmaster. Like putting a shark in charge of a swimming pool! 694 00:47:49,824 --> 00:47:52,808 Left. Left. 695 00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:55,207 Left! Left! 696 00:47:59,211 --> 00:48:01,713 What's this? This isn't going anywhere! 697 00:48:01,923 --> 00:48:05,094 It's going back to the Northampton Road. 698 00:48:05,301 --> 00:48:06,554 They'll be out of their minds. 699 00:48:06,762 --> 00:48:11,101 Just keep absolutely calm, and turn left and left again. 700 00:48:12,269 --> 00:48:14,271 So, left here... 701 00:48:15,731 --> 00:48:17,190 Perfect, thank you. 702 00:48:17,607 --> 00:48:18,735 Well done. 703 00:48:18,985 --> 00:48:20,528 Now, we just go round the next corner... and... 704 00:48:28,705 --> 00:48:29,789 Now what? 705 00:48:30,332 --> 00:48:32,334 Don't worry. We just go back. 706 00:48:32,710 --> 00:48:33,836 Back? 707 00:48:34,212 --> 00:48:36,590 Right. Reverse. 708 00:48:36,756 --> 00:48:39,009 How did this happen to me? 709 00:48:40,135 --> 00:48:41,762 In reverse gear. 710 00:48:46,768 --> 00:48:48,896 Put it into reverse. 711 00:48:50,606 --> 00:48:53,151 Show her where reverse is, Laura. 712 00:48:56,176 --> 00:49:00,451 Good, well done. Come on then. Come on. 713 00:49:01,078 --> 00:49:02,329 Come on. 714 00:49:02,017 --> 00:49:04,729 Come on. Well done. 715 00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:06,294 Come a... STOP! 716 00:49:15,510 --> 00:49:18,598 This is a historic moment. 717 00:49:19,475 --> 00:49:22,769 Little did I dream that I should be sitting here... 718 00:49:27,442 --> 00:49:29,527 When are we going to have lunch? 719 00:49:34,368 --> 00:49:35,534 - Into the field... - Into the field? 720 00:49:37,996 --> 00:49:39,873 Just do as I say. 721 00:49:59,605 --> 00:50:03,402 We'll get something to eat in Northampton. We'll hit the road in about 100 yards. 722 00:50:03,569 --> 00:50:04,570 I know this is wrong. 723 00:50:05,529 --> 00:50:07,448 I knew it! I knew it! 724 00:50:33,395 --> 00:50:35,899 It'll be just beyond that next hedge. 725 00:51:00,762 --> 00:51:03,056 Just beyond the next hedge. 726 00:51:03,598 --> 00:51:05,310 Je vois d�j� les voitures. 727 00:51:05,476 --> 00:51:07,770 Look, I can see the cars. I can see them moving. Right then. 728 00:51:07,937 --> 00:51:09,272 There's no track- 729 00:51:09,814 --> 00:51:11,984 We've come to the end of the track. 730 00:51:12,234 --> 00:51:15,322 We don't need a track. It's grass. Come on. 731 00:51:57,454 --> 00:52:00,709 Perhaps I sound a little old fashioned, but we live in a world where time 732 00:52:00,917 --> 00:52:04,462 is becoming not less important, but ever more so. 733 00:52:04,672 --> 00:52:07,301 Imagine a spacecraft running late; 734 00:52:07,551 --> 00:52:11,138 it might miss its orbit completely, and find itself wandering off 735 00:52:11,305 --> 00:52:13,850 into the trackless depths of the universe. 736 00:52:29,452 --> 00:52:32,476 A nightmare! A nightmare! 737 00:52:32,497 --> 00:52:35,667 Hold it, and hold it. Let's just have a quiet think. 738 00:52:35,876 --> 00:52:36,794 I'm never going to get home! 739 00:52:37,544 --> 00:52:39,464 Stop it! You'll break the engine. 740 00:52:42,114 --> 00:52:46,472 Thank you. Thank you. Now, it's five to two. 741 00:52:46,889 --> 00:52:47,723 I'm hungry. 742 00:52:49,059 --> 00:52:51,061 You're hungry? We're all hungry. 743 00:52:51,394 --> 00:52:55,440 We can't eat now because we're in the middle of a field. 744 00:52:56,233 --> 00:53:00,029 So, we have to adapt to our circumstances. 745 00:53:06,246 --> 00:53:08,623 Now, I wanted to be in Norwich at 3.00 746 00:53:08,790 --> 00:53:10,251 to greet everyone as they arrive. 747 00:53:10,459 --> 00:53:13,212 I can't be there at 3.00, so instead 748 00:53:13,963 --> 00:53:15,840 I want to be there at 5.00 749 00:53:16,049 --> 00:53:17,635 in time to deliver my speech. 750 00:53:18,385 --> 00:53:21,597 This is how mankind has evolved from the primeval slime... 751 00:53:22,139 --> 00:53:24,851 by adapting to circumstances. 752 00:53:25,352 --> 00:53:28,481 We can't go forwards, so we'll go backwards instead. 753 00:53:28,648 --> 00:53:31,442 Put it in reverse for her, Laura. I'll push. 754 00:53:32,590 --> 00:53:35,301 Right? Right. 755 00:54:04,170 --> 00:54:09,905 No! Thank you. Stay here. Don't move. 756 00:54:49,369 --> 00:54:52,914 Excuse me... Hello. 757 00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:58,213 Can you tell me...? Do you know...? 758 00:54:58,589 --> 00:55:02,218 Is there anyone round here with a tractor? 759 00:55:03,094 --> 00:55:04,095 Won my bet, anyway. 760 00:55:06,264 --> 00:55:08,141 Watched you go down on that hoed dirt... 761 00:55:08,308 --> 00:55:11,396 Bet myself a cheese sandwich you wouldn't get as far as the bottom. 762 00:55:13,065 --> 00:55:15,359 Right, we're stuck. We need a tractor, to pull us out. 763 00:55:18,488 --> 00:55:19,530 'Avin' a day in the country, are you? 764 00:55:19,948 --> 00:55:22,033 Not really. Is there a farm... 765 00:55:22,243 --> 00:55:23,702 near here? 766 00:55:24,035 --> 00:55:25,955 Gettin' close to nature? 767 00:55:26,121 --> 00:55:27,748 Right, right. 768 00:55:27,958 --> 00:55:30,584 We're in rather a hurry, you see. I have to be in Norwich by 5.00. 769 00:55:31,461 --> 00:55:34,632 Norwich? You're goin' to Norwich? 770 00:55:34,799 --> 00:55:38,511 Yes, so if we can just find a tractor... 771 00:55:39,138 --> 00:55:40,347 What? Short cut is it? 772 00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:45,562 Lost our way. So we must quickly find a tractor. 773 00:55:48,023 --> 00:55:51,902 Well, my advice is this... 774 00:55:56,908 --> 00:55:57,430 Yes? 775 00:56:00,245 --> 00:56:01,204 If you're goin' this way... 776 00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:05,878 find a tractor... 777 00:56:06,085 --> 00:56:06,794 A tractor, yes... 778 00:56:09,256 --> 00:56:11,426 and stay on the bloody thing all the way to Norwich. 779 00:56:15,347 --> 00:56:18,726 Thank you. Thank you very much! 780 00:56:20,686 --> 00:56:22,731 - I'll tell ya' something else... - Yes, thank you. 781 00:56:24,191 --> 00:56:25,360 Know what I'm sittin' on? 782 00:56:25,567 --> 00:56:27,111 A bomb, I hope. 783 00:56:28,405 --> 00:56:29,948 All right, my old dear, 784 00:56:30,573 --> 00:56:32,660 You look that way, and I'll look this, 785 00:56:33,786 --> 00:56:36,288 and I bet you a jam tart 786 00:56:36,957 --> 00:56:39,126 I find a tractor first. 787 00:57:01,277 --> 00:57:03,238 Headin' for Norwich, I believe? 788 00:57:05,532 --> 00:57:06,408 Some of us. 789 00:57:08,244 --> 00:57:10,205 You dodged the traffic, anyway. 790 00:57:17,381 --> 00:57:25,556 Come on. Come on. Oh, for God's sake. Turn the record player down. 791 00:57:29,812 --> 00:57:32,022 Ah, right. There you are. 792 00:57:32,523 --> 00:57:34,775 Now, a tractor. I'm looking for a tractor. 793 00:57:34,942 --> 00:57:36,820 You don't have a tractor here, do you? 794 00:57:40,741 --> 00:57:45,454 I'm so sorry, but it is rather urgent. I have to be in Norwich by... 795 00:57:52,547 --> 00:57:54,132 Of course, a monastery. 796 00:57:55,258 --> 00:57:56,969 I might have guessed. 797 00:58:40,563 --> 00:58:42,524 Have they found a tractor? 798 00:58:51,451 --> 00:58:54,121 Well, it doesn't matter. Wasn't important. 799 00:59:07,303 --> 00:59:10,974 I'm sorry to let them down, that's all. It doesn't matter to me. 800 00:59:14,895 --> 00:59:16,272 It was important for the school. 801 00:59:16,981 --> 00:59:19,026 Would've meant so much to the children. 802 00:59:21,196 --> 00:59:25,993 Well... I suppose we couldn't ring for a taxi? 803 00:59:29,705 --> 00:59:30,372 No phone? 804 00:59:36,212 --> 00:59:38,132 It would have meant a lot to my mother, of course, 805 00:59:41,303 --> 00:59:42,178 if she'd been alive. 806 00:59:45,057 --> 00:59:49,187 I mean, I'd be happy to enter a monastery and never speak again 807 00:59:50,104 --> 00:59:51,689 We speak. 808 00:59:53,859 --> 00:59:59,031 I'm sorry, I... I just assumed... I'm sorry. 809 01:00:14,132 --> 01:00:15,635 What do you think I should do then? 810 01:00:17,513 --> 01:00:19,181 Have a bath, perhaps? 811 01:00:44,670 --> 01:00:45,379 They're women! 812 01:00:51,386 --> 01:00:53,764 Funny ol' boyfriend you girls have found yourselves. 813 01:00:53,973 --> 01:00:58,227 Takes you for nature study in the country, then slips off and enters a monastery! 814 01:01:01,273 --> 01:01:03,838 - Right, I'm off. - Mr Stimpson? 815 01:01:03,859 --> 01:01:05,486 Are you coming with me, or aren't you. 816 01:01:05,778 --> 01:01:06,612 This is our car! 817 01:01:06,779 --> 01:01:08,198 I'm not waiting. 818 01:01:10,180 --> 01:01:16,436 Mr Stimpson? Mr Stimpson? 819 01:01:28,324 --> 01:01:29,993 Mr Stimpson! 820 01:02:06,906 --> 01:02:08,782 Mr Stimpson! 821 01:02:20,357 --> 01:02:22,026 Mr Stimpson! 822 01:02:23,579 --> 01:02:25,290 Quick, where are you? 823 01:02:26,834 --> 01:02:28,335 It's your friend, she won't wait. 824 01:02:28,752 --> 01:02:30,255 They can't find a tractor. 825 01:02:30,630 --> 01:02:32,924 We've got one. It's pulled us out. 826 01:02:35,176 --> 01:02:36,429 What are you doing? 827 01:02:36,762 --> 01:02:38,264 I'm having a bath. 828 01:02:38,849 --> 01:02:40,600 - You've got one? - She's going. 829 01:02:41,058 --> 01:02:42,018 I'll be right down. 830 01:02:57,871 --> 01:02:58,789 Well? 831 01:02:58,997 --> 01:03:00,499 He's having a bath. 832 01:03:01,292 --> 01:03:04,963 A bath? Why not a sauna and massage as well? 833 01:03:05,296 --> 01:03:06,547 Again? 834 01:03:12,075 --> 01:03:12,909 Mr Stimpson? 835 01:03:14,182 --> 01:03:15,392 Where is she? 836 01:03:16,142 --> 01:03:20,022 She's gone. I said he's having a bath, and she went. 837 01:03:21,858 --> 01:03:23,193 Stop her! 838 01:03:23,401 --> 01:03:25,446 It's our car! 839 01:03:41,006 --> 01:03:42,424 End of the lane. 840 01:04:06,495 --> 01:04:08,455 Ah, can't... can't... 841 01:04:08,957 --> 01:04:10,500 Sandal... 842 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,089 We found the road, anyway. 843 01:04:18,342 --> 01:04:20,469 It's not the despair, Laura, 844 01:04:21,346 --> 01:04:24,224 I can stand the despair; it's the hope. 845 01:04:27,645 --> 01:04:28,521 There! 846 01:04:39,701 --> 01:04:46,168 Blue Morris 1100, registration number Romeo Delta Xray 364 Juliet. 847 01:04:47,627 --> 01:04:51,758 We've also got Mrs Garden, reported missing, believed kidnapped. 848 01:04:52,175 --> 01:04:54,385 State of shock, otherwise appears all right. 849 01:04:54,594 --> 01:04:55,678 No sign of the girl. 850 01:04:56,012 --> 01:04:57,680 She's at the monastery. 851 01:04:58,474 --> 01:05:00,559 Oh, she's apparently in a monastery. 852 01:05:00,726 --> 01:05:02,269 No sign of the male suspect. 853 01:05:02,854 --> 01:05:04,314 He's in the bath. 854 01:05:05,273 --> 01:05:06,776 He's in the bath. 855 01:05:07,026 --> 01:05:08,402 In the monastery? 856 01:05:10,196 --> 01:05:12,824 In the bath, in a monastery. 857 01:05:13,742 --> 01:05:15,995 It's gonna take a bit of sorting out, this one! 858 01:05:16,161 --> 01:05:17,871 We'll bring Mrs Garden in anyway. 859 01:05:18,372 --> 01:05:20,500 We're charging her with taking and driving away, 860 01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:23,169 driving a vehicle in an unroadworthy condition, 861 01:05:23,378 --> 01:05:27,092 exceeding the speed limit, and assaulting a police officer. 862 01:05:30,471 --> 01:05:31,847 Nearly there... 863 01:05:34,225 --> 01:05:35,810 One little slip, Laura, that's all. 864 01:05:36,853 --> 01:05:39,065 Said 'right', meant 'left'. 865 01:05:39,899 --> 01:05:41,400 One word! 866 01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:43,820 Going! 867 01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:49,701 Gone! 868 01:06:07,139 --> 01:06:09,725 I've lied for this, Laura... I've stolen, 869 01:06:11,228 --> 01:06:13,731 I've taken you out of school... 870 01:06:16,191 --> 01:06:19,529 Well, I suppose this is a form of education; it's an education for me, Laura. 871 01:06:22,366 --> 01:06:23,659 You still haven't had any lunch. 872 01:06:26,705 --> 01:06:27,371 We'll get something. 873 01:06:31,918 --> 01:06:33,463 In your suit. 874 01:06:38,552 --> 01:06:39,470 In the bathroom. 875 01:06:39,970 --> 01:06:41,972 I've even lost the time. 876 01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:04,496 He's only a third in geography, but he can read a balance sheet. 877 01:07:05,227 --> 01:07:08,251 Our merchant bankers thought we could reckon on 15%. 878 01:07:08,671 --> 01:07:11,758 The Old Boys' Association raised a quarter of a million, in 3 months... 879 01:07:12,050 --> 01:07:14,658 You know, our people suggested floating the school off. 880 01:07:14,972 --> 01:07:17,370 We're offering an A level in classic Arabic, of course. 881 01:07:18,517 --> 01:07:21,145 ... and we hope the school mosque will finished in time for Ramadan. 882 01:07:21,146 --> 01:07:22,606 One in the eye for Millfield, anyway. 883 01:07:23,022 --> 01:07:25,858 We're also planning a Deutsche Mark offshore fund. 884 01:07:25,859 --> 01:07:28,987 We have to be prepared for any political eventuality. 885 01:07:29,238 --> 01:07:32,158 ...but we do have the same accountants as Mick Jagger. 886 01:07:32,700 --> 01:07:36,079 ... so anyway an air crew came down and checked out our security arrangements, 887 01:07:36,081 --> 01:07:37,123 with particular reference to the bombs. 888 01:07:39,374 --> 01:07:40,919 Did you ring the school? 889 01:07:41,252 --> 01:07:42,962 They say he left at 10.00 890 01:07:43,296 --> 01:07:45,715 He said he was going to be here by 3.00 891 01:07:49,178 --> 01:07:52,766 I'm sorry, I'm... just ... 892 01:07:53,975 --> 01:07:55,395 I don't know... whether... 893 01:07:57,604 --> 01:08:00,108 Extraordinary appointments some governors make these days. 894 01:08:01,527 --> 01:08:04,071 Or is that the state sector? 895 01:08:04,321 --> 01:08:07,117 The chap over there came on a motor cycle by the look of it. 896 01:08:11,538 --> 01:08:12,205 Good God! 897 01:08:13,331 --> 01:08:14,250 There's some woman! 898 01:08:14,750 --> 01:08:17,524 - How did she get in? - Excuse me. 899 01:08:17,838 --> 01:08:21,468 And at Easter I'm taking the Classical sixth to Jamaica. 900 01:08:22,177 --> 01:08:23,343 Can I help you at all? 901 01:08:23,553 --> 01:08:24,929 Where is she? Where's Laura? 902 01:08:25,138 --> 01:08:25,765 I'm sorry? 903 01:08:26,014 --> 01:08:28,684 Our daughter! He's going mad, and he'll have one of his attacks. 904 01:08:28,893 --> 01:08:30,686 Oh! Oh dear. Your daughter? 905 01:08:30,895 --> 01:08:33,690 Well, let's go and have a look for her, shall we? 906 01:08:34,065 --> 01:08:37,569 I'm sorry, someone should explain. We don't bring wives and families. 907 01:08:37,819 --> 01:08:39,739 Wives? No, you have 18-year-old girls 908 01:08:39,989 --> 01:08:42,575 who are doing their A levels. I've never heard anything like it. 909 01:08:43,117 --> 01:08:45,412 Well, let's go upstairs and discuss it in peace, shall we? 910 01:08:45,621 --> 01:08:46,726 And where is he? Where's Mr Stimpson? 911 01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:52,149 Mr Stimpson? Ah! Mr Stimpson. 912 01:08:52,316 --> 01:08:54,923 Well, I think you'll like our new prospectus. It's been done by... 913 01:08:54,924 --> 01:08:56,175 Excuse me one moment. 914 01:08:56,279 --> 01:09:00,034 Anyway, we're hoping the new solarium will give our sixth form a bit more appeal 915 01:09:00,140 --> 01:09:02,225 - at the top end of the market. - I'm so sorry. 916 01:09:02,226 --> 01:09:03,559 Would you take these good people 917 01:09:03,767 --> 01:09:06,604 and upstairs, to the room along the corridor, on the left. 918 01:09:06,813 --> 01:09:08,273 Terrific! Delighted! 919 01:09:08,481 --> 01:09:12,403 See that they have some tea. I'll be with you in one minute. 920 01:09:13,279 --> 01:09:14,155 Can I help you? 921 01:09:14,321 --> 01:09:16,074 I'm looking for Mr Stimpson. 922 01:09:16,282 --> 01:09:19,077 Oh, we're all looking for Mr Stimpson. Come with me. 923 01:09:19,911 --> 01:09:21,997 So of course I said: "I don't drink sherry 924 01:09:22,248 --> 01:09:25,836 "I'm a total abstainer, as you very well know 925 01:09:26,086 --> 01:09:28,797 "But I do not see why the sherry glasses should go to Pam, just because she drinks." 926 01:09:28,964 --> 01:09:30,675 Why don't you have a cup of tea? 927 01:09:30,883 --> 01:09:32,928 I told you to stay in the car! 928 01:09:33,136 --> 01:09:35,597 You're another of Mr Stimpson's party, are you? 929 01:09:35,806 --> 01:09:39,727 Pour them some tea, and take them upstairs, the room along the corridor on the left. 930 01:09:40,061 --> 01:09:40,895 Very well. 931 01:09:41,104 --> 01:09:42,272 What are you doing here? 932 01:09:42,564 --> 01:09:47,486 Oh, I'm just... I'll... fetch you a cup of... 933 01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:56,330 He seems to have brought his entire family. 934 01:09:56,539 --> 01:09:58,040 There's another one here. 935 01:09:58,207 --> 01:10:00,836 Let me guess. You're looking for Mr Stimpson. 936 01:10:01,170 --> 01:10:03,256 I'm looking for the head doctor. 937 01:10:03,423 --> 01:10:05,883 Well let's see what we can find upstairs. 938 01:10:06,843 --> 01:10:08,219 Mr Stimpson? 939 01:10:09,513 --> 01:10:10,931 Am I? 940 01:10:11,265 --> 01:10:13,642 I don't know where I am or what I am. 941 01:10:14,059 --> 01:10:15,228 I know the feeling. 942 01:10:19,484 --> 01:10:21,611 Why don't you both make yourselves comfortable in here? 943 01:10:22,862 --> 01:10:25,364 I'll bring Mr Stimpson to you just as soon as I've found him. 944 01:10:25,574 --> 01:10:28,118 Terrible bore, I know, but it is a private meeting. 945 01:10:30,789 --> 01:10:33,124 As a matter of fact, I say it would be an unfair temptation to put 946 01:10:33,501 --> 01:10:35,543 a sherry glass in her hand. 947 01:10:35,711 --> 01:10:37,296 Mr Stimpson's party? 948 01:10:37,463 --> 01:10:38,422 In here. 949 01:10:42,094 --> 01:10:43,513 Two more for you. 950 01:10:44,554 --> 01:10:46,975 Terrific! Super! 951 01:10:47,684 --> 01:10:49,812 This is the most exciting day! 952 01:10:55,068 --> 01:10:57,487 Detective Sergeant Rice, Norwich CID. 953 01:10:57,904 --> 01:11:00,156 I believe you have a Mr Brian Stimpson here. 954 01:11:01,742 --> 01:11:02,952 Nothing wrong, I hope. 955 01:11:03,119 --> 01:11:04,328 We'd just like a word with him, sir. 956 01:11:04,538 --> 01:11:07,707 Well he hasn't arrived yet. We're waiting for him. 957 01:11:07,875 --> 01:11:09,710 We'll wait too then. If we may. 958 01:11:11,587 --> 01:11:13,339 I'll bring you some tea. 959 01:11:14,550 --> 01:11:16,927 Stimpson supporters club? In here. 960 01:11:20,431 --> 01:11:21,099 Do you take sugar? 961 01:11:25,187 --> 01:11:27,689 - Police looking for him now. - Oh no! 962 01:11:29,192 --> 01:11:30,443 Little boys? 963 01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:34,114 Well, if he's not here by 5.00... 964 01:11:35,241 --> 01:11:38,161 I suppose one of us could say a few words. 965 01:11:38,787 --> 01:11:40,413 Yes, I could have a go, if you like. 966 01:11:41,290 --> 01:11:43,000 Something about money, perhaps? 967 01:11:43,417 --> 01:11:45,044 Usually a reliable standby. 968 01:11:45,837 --> 01:11:48,214 I hope he's not lying in some ditch. 969 01:11:48,736 --> 01:11:49,988 Oh, absolutely. 970 01:11:52,344 --> 01:11:55,682 It was going to be the start of so much, Laura. I was going to go into politics. 971 01:11:55,890 --> 01:11:57,016 I used to think: 972 01:11:58,018 --> 01:12:01,605 "When I become Secretary of State for Education..." 973 01:12:05,359 --> 01:12:06,778 Don't laugh! 974 01:12:17,958 --> 01:12:19,710 I thought I didn't mind. 975 01:12:22,547 --> 01:12:26,259 When I was in the monastery, I thought I'd resigned myself to it, but really... 976 01:12:27,428 --> 01:12:29,972 I knew I'd still got time, you see. 977 01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:33,812 Funny how you always know secretly 978 01:12:33,977 --> 01:12:37,190 when the last moment is, and when it's gone. 979 01:12:39,859 --> 01:12:41,403 And now it has, 980 01:12:43,824 --> 01:12:48,954 I mind, Laura. I mind. 981 01:12:59,216 --> 01:13:00,259 Mr Stimpson 982 01:13:00,260 --> 01:13:02,011 Perhaps I could just... 983 01:13:02,886 --> 01:13:04,055 lying here... 984 01:13:04,056 --> 01:13:05,099 Mr Stimpson! 985 01:13:09,520 --> 01:13:10,771 Wait! 986 01:13:22,953 --> 01:13:24,663 Hop up then darling, what's the trouble? 987 01:13:24,914 --> 01:13:26,248 Does this seat tip up? 988 01:13:26,499 --> 01:13:30,629 Don't worry about the car. It's brand new. Only got 12 miles on the clock. 989 01:13:31,254 --> 01:13:32,255 What? You pull this lever? 990 01:13:35,093 --> 01:13:36,552 - What's all this. - We're together. 991 01:13:37,220 --> 01:13:38,013 I don't believe this! 992 01:13:38,262 --> 01:13:39,472 He's got to get to Norwich. 993 01:13:39,931 --> 01:13:43,269 Well, I've seen them pull some stunts, but... a monk? 994 01:13:50,027 --> 01:13:52,197 Okay. A monk! What can I do? 995 01:14:03,585 --> 01:14:05,755 I'm surprised at you though, Father. 996 01:14:06,130 --> 01:14:10,009 Putting a bird out at the side of the road, hiding in the ditch. 997 01:14:10,469 --> 01:14:13,263 Does your Father Superior know you travel around like this? 998 01:14:15,224 --> 01:14:18,207 Funny! You! 999 01:14:18,227 --> 01:14:20,688 Speech... Like that? 1000 01:14:22,232 --> 01:14:22,942 What? 1001 01:14:36,582 --> 01:14:39,838 Frankly, Father, I'm shocked, do you know that? 1002 01:14:40,045 --> 01:14:42,340 I'm not easily shocked, but I'm shocked. 1003 01:14:42,507 --> 01:14:43,715 - Can we stop? - What? 1004 01:14:44,384 --> 01:14:46,512 Stop a moment. By these trees. 1005 01:14:55,022 --> 01:14:56,231 What's the trouble? 1006 01:14:56,440 --> 01:14:59,527 - Go for a little walk. - Go for a walk? 1007 01:14:59,902 --> 01:15:01,446 In the woods. 1008 01:15:03,866 --> 01:15:05,117 You... wanna go for a walk? 1009 01:15:05,284 --> 01:15:06,286 Don't you want to come? 1010 01:15:07,954 --> 01:15:09,122 What... you mean? What? 1011 01:15:10,957 --> 01:15:12,542 No one around! 1012 01:15:15,462 --> 01:15:16,839 Well, this beats everything. 1013 01:15:18,466 --> 01:15:21,011 Sorry about this, Father. Five minutes, that's all. 1014 01:15:21,220 --> 01:15:22,679 Pick a few flowers. 1015 01:15:27,268 --> 01:15:28,144 Come on then. 1016 01:15:28,312 --> 01:15:29,313 Him? 1017 01:15:31,273 --> 01:15:33,275 Do you want him to come? Do you want Father there? 1018 01:15:33,567 --> 01:15:36,613 Come on! The sun's out. 1019 01:15:43,246 --> 01:15:44,831 It's a funny old world, isn't it? 1020 01:15:54,593 --> 01:15:57,305 Look, I'll be frank. I'm out of my depth. 1021 01:16:00,433 --> 01:16:02,019 We could take our clothes off. 1022 01:16:16,702 --> 01:16:17,371 Go on then. 1023 01:16:17,746 --> 01:16:18,497 You first. 1024 01:16:27,986 --> 01:16:28,716 Go on. 1025 01:16:37,997 --> 01:16:39,874 Shoes. 1026 01:16:45,279 --> 01:16:45,988 Now you. 1027 01:16:47,156 --> 01:16:49,659 Now, Mr Stimpson. 1028 01:16:51,224 --> 01:16:53,101 Come on then. 1029 01:16:55,875 --> 01:16:57,376 Oh, now look, I'm not doing a solo. 1030 01:17:13,562 --> 01:17:15,607 Come on, be a monk. 1031 01:17:47,270 --> 01:17:49,105 Keys, find the keys. 1032 01:17:52,275 --> 01:17:55,070 I knew it! I knew it was a stunt the moment he got in the car. 1033 01:17:58,533 --> 01:18:00,076 Give it to me! Give it to me! 1034 01:18:05,917 --> 01:18:08,711 Give me that suit! 300 quid that suit cost me. 1035 01:18:14,344 --> 01:18:17,180 You've torn it. 1036 01:18:17,722 --> 01:18:20,226 Monk. Monk? You've torn the sleeve off a 300-guinea suit. 1037 01:18:22,396 --> 01:18:24,021 Oh no, not the car! 1038 01:18:26,733 --> 01:18:28,151 It's not mine. It's a customer's. 1039 01:18:28,902 --> 01:18:30,153 It's not insured. 1040 01:18:38,123 --> 01:18:39,791 Oh, please, please, don't drive. Come back! 1041 01:18:49,553 --> 01:18:52,306 I knew it. From the moment she stuck her thumb up. 1042 01:18:58,563 --> 01:18:59,440 Don't worry about the sleeve. 1043 01:18:59,647 --> 01:19:03,569 We'll get some sellotape. We've got some money now. 1044 01:19:04,613 --> 01:19:06,823 Feel in the pockets. How much have we got? 1045 01:19:12,705 --> 01:19:14,750 Oh, look! Hundreds and hundreds. 1046 01:19:15,124 --> 01:19:16,710 We could do anything. 1047 01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:19,421 We could get Chinese take-aways. 1048 01:19:20,673 --> 01:19:22,634 I saw this film on television once: 1049 01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:25,471 there was this bloke and this girl, and they went around everywhere in this car, 1050 01:19:25,638 --> 01:19:27,431 robbing these banks and things. 1051 01:19:27,640 --> 01:19:29,267 Did you see that, Mr Stimpson? 1052 01:19:36,359 --> 01:19:40,905 Don't worry, I'll get you there. I'm a better driver than her, anyway. 1053 01:19:43,909 --> 01:19:46,162 We should have taken his watch as well. 1054 01:19:47,080 --> 01:19:48,915 Do you know what's worrying me? 1055 01:19:49,666 --> 01:19:52,586 The way I always seem to get involved with older men. 1056 01:20:21,246 --> 01:20:23,833 No point in waiting beyond 5.00, is there? 1057 01:20:24,125 --> 01:20:28,379 I'm going to talk about charitable status and moral leadership. 1058 01:20:32,050 --> 01:20:34,971 Why can't he keep those damned women locked up? 1059 01:20:39,767 --> 01:20:41,145 So kind of you. 1060 01:20:42,021 --> 01:20:44,149 In everyone's way, as usual. 1061 01:20:45,567 --> 01:20:47,235 I'll just sit myself down. 1062 01:20:49,154 --> 01:20:52,073 Oh dear. Lost again, are we? 1063 01:20:52,408 --> 01:20:53,659 Quite, quite lost. 1064 01:20:53,951 --> 01:20:55,828 Let's see if we can find your friends. 1065 01:20:55,996 --> 01:20:57,915 Excuse me, but I am not shouting at you. 1066 01:20:58,081 --> 01:20:59,374 Excuse me, but you are! 1067 01:20:59,626 --> 01:21:02,211 Excuse me, but I'm merely trying to get it into your head that he is not here. 1068 01:21:02,670 --> 01:21:04,422 Oh, here they all are. 1069 01:21:04,632 --> 01:21:05,548 So when will he be here? 1070 01:21:05,758 --> 01:21:06,425 I don't know. 1071 01:21:06,592 --> 01:21:08,135 Debating about which word to do. 1072 01:21:08,386 --> 01:21:11,013 Can't you stop these people wandering into the hall? 1073 01:21:11,348 --> 01:21:13,058 No I can't. They keep wanting to go to the loo. 1074 01:21:13,224 --> 01:21:17,063 Mrs Wheel needs to go to the ladies. 1075 01:21:17,229 --> 01:21:18,522 Do you see? And then they don't come back. 1076 01:21:18,731 --> 01:21:20,400 Call yourself a doctor? 1077 01:21:21,985 --> 01:21:24,071 Get me someone to escort them to the loo. 1078 01:21:24,238 --> 01:21:25,573 Ooh, we're off again, are we? 1079 01:21:25,781 --> 01:21:27,617 Not you, you've been. 1080 01:21:29,369 --> 01:21:32,206 Detective Inspector Laundryman, regional crime squad. 1081 01:21:33,123 --> 01:21:34,083 Stimpson? 1082 01:21:34,292 --> 01:21:35,710 Thought I might have a few words with him. 1083 01:21:35,877 --> 01:21:36,919 In here. 1084 01:21:36,419 --> 01:21:39,130 - Stimpson? - What are you doing here, George? 1085 01:21:39,630 --> 01:21:40,673 Stimpson. 1086 01:21:40,674 --> 01:21:41,968 Takin' n' drivin, and assault? 1087 01:21:42,134 --> 01:21:44,512 No, taking and driving and kidnapping. 1088 01:21:44,679 --> 01:21:46,139 Right, inside then. 1089 01:21:48,809 --> 01:21:50,560 Let's keep the door closed. 1090 01:21:53,189 --> 01:21:54,315 Um, Gentlemen... 1091 01:21:55,880 --> 01:22:00,073 Gentlemen, if I might have your attention for one moment... 1092 01:22:00,074 --> 01:22:01,116 Thank you. 1093 01:22:02,116 --> 01:22:04,202 And now the time is... 1094 01:22:05,453 --> 01:22:09,960 is exactly five o'clock, and I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. 1095 01:22:11,253 --> 01:22:13,880 Our chairman, Mr Stimpson... 1096 01:22:15,383 --> 01:22:16,342 is here. 1097 01:22:58,017 --> 01:23:01,188 This is a historic moment. 1098 01:23:02,773 --> 01:23:04,775 I stand before you today as your new chairman, 1099 01:23:05,400 --> 01:23:11,199 something that some of us never expected to see in our lifetime. 1100 01:23:12,618 --> 01:23:14,119 We have come a long way together 1101 01:23:15,621 --> 01:23:17,374 to be where we are today. 1102 01:23:19,292 --> 01:23:20,210 A long way. 1103 01:23:20,962 --> 01:23:22,045 Who is she? 1104 01:23:22,254 --> 01:23:23,923 A long, long way... 1105 01:23:25,675 --> 01:23:29,930 And at this point I should perhaps explain that 1106 01:23:30,138 --> 01:23:31,765 during the course of my journey 1107 01:23:32,308 --> 01:23:34,102 I have become separated... 1108 01:23:35,520 --> 01:23:38,023 separated from the text of my speech. 1109 01:23:38,274 --> 01:23:42,445 So I hope you will forgive me if I am a little disconnected. 1110 01:23:53,292 --> 01:23:54,626 Right! 1111 01:23:56,253 --> 01:23:59,716 So I stand here today, and I look out there 1112 01:23:59,882 --> 01:24:01,510 and what do I see? 1113 01:24:14,900 --> 01:24:16,403 I see myself 1114 01:24:17,028 --> 01:24:19,281 I see myself as I was then, 1115 01:24:21,491 --> 01:24:23,244 an obscure master from an 1116 01:24:23,494 --> 01:24:25,788 overawed comprehensive school. 1117 01:24:30,190 --> 01:24:32,839 Right. So, what was I doing there? 1118 01:24:33,840 --> 01:24:36,092 I was amazed to find herself... 1119 01:24:36,801 --> 01:24:38,137 Um, I was amazed to find myself 1120 01:24:39,055 --> 01:24:42,516 invited to become one of your very select handful 1121 01:24:42,726 --> 01:24:44,603 of additional women. 1122 01:24:48,398 --> 01:24:50,610 And I was even more amazed still 1123 01:24:50,818 --> 01:24:53,112 at what I was listening to, 1124 01:24:53,279 --> 01:24:56,492 because what I was listening to was 1125 01:25:01,581 --> 01:25:03,416 Well, come in then if you're coming! 1126 01:25:03,668 --> 01:25:06,295 No, because what I was listening to was 1127 01:25:08,881 --> 01:25:10,258 Are there any more of you out there? 1128 01:25:24,275 --> 01:25:26,653 All right. Find yourselves somewhere to sit. 1129 01:25:32,909 --> 01:25:33,639 Right. 1130 01:25:33,745 --> 01:25:38,959 There I was listening to the headmasters of schools with great and glorious names 1131 01:25:42,672 --> 01:25:43,757 So kind of you. 1132 01:25:48,804 --> 01:25:50,097 Oh, sit down! 1133 01:25:53,644 --> 01:25:55,271 Yes, we're all waiting for you! 1134 01:26:01,236 --> 01:26:04,051 Thank you. 1135 01:26:04,156 --> 01:26:06,430 Right, so there I was, 1136 01:26:06,431 --> 01:26:10,707 listening to the headmasters of schools with great and glorious names as they 1137 01:26:13,835 --> 01:26:18,299 kicked around a variety of weighty topics, 1138 01:26:19,174 --> 01:26:23,722 as they expatiated upon a variety of weighty balls. 1139 01:26:27,559 --> 01:26:28,935 I'm glad someone finds that funny. 1140 01:26:30,188 --> 01:26:31,981 Did he say what I think he said? 1141 01:26:32,148 --> 01:26:34,193 There's no need to whisper. 1142 01:26:34,359 --> 01:26:37,363 Please come up here and explain the joke to the entire school. 1143 01:26:40,240 --> 01:26:41,493 And who's that creaking? 1144 01:26:45,873 --> 01:26:47,208 Come on, come on. Let's get it over with. 1145 01:26:47,313 --> 01:26:49,086 There's a seat down here, look. 1146 01:26:59,098 --> 01:27:00,599 Long way to Norwich, was it? 1147 01:27:03,769 --> 01:27:04,938 Long way to that seat, too. 1148 01:27:11,195 --> 01:27:13,824 Make yourself comfortable then. Get all the creaking over. 1149 01:27:17,619 --> 01:27:18,454 No rush. 1150 01:27:18,662 --> 01:27:21,082 We've got all the time in the world. 1151 01:27:22,333 --> 01:27:24,335 Time! Right, because I should like, 1152 01:27:24,794 --> 01:27:27,631 before I pass on, before I pass on to other matters, 1153 01:27:27,840 --> 01:27:30,217 to sound a note of warning. 1154 01:27:33,638 --> 01:27:35,223 And still they come. 1155 01:27:36,434 --> 01:27:40,271 I was just talking, you might be interested to hear, about time. 1156 01:27:40,647 --> 01:27:41,898 I was going to say that 1157 01:27:42,107 --> 01:27:44,401 we all understood that lateness 1158 01:27:44,568 --> 01:27:46,988 was a discourtesy to others. 1159 01:27:47,196 --> 01:27:49,616 But I'm beginning to wonder. 1160 01:27:51,826 --> 01:27:53,412 You're beginning to wonder too, are you? 1161 01:27:53,996 --> 01:27:58,064 So perhaps the rest of us could turn round and face the front, 1162 01:27:58,127 --> 01:28:00,712 and we'll all wonder together. 1163 01:28:01,776 --> 01:28:03,757 Right, thank you. 1164 01:28:03,758 --> 01:28:05,802 Because I'm beginning to wonder 1165 01:28:06,803 --> 01:28:09,557 if I'd be the only person in the world 1166 01:28:09,724 --> 01:28:12,685 who'd be slightly surprised if the tide came wandering in 1167 01:28:12,852 --> 01:28:16,273 half an hour after the lesson had started, 1168 01:28:16,274 --> 01:28:17,942 slammed all the doors, 1169 01:28:17,983 --> 01:28:20,173 and stood there gazing round the room 1170 01:28:20,278 --> 01:28:23,032 trying to find some chums to sit next to 1171 01:28:23,198 --> 01:28:24,658 while the rest of us 1172 01:28:24,867 --> 01:28:28,079 patiently wait to get on with the day's events. 1173 01:28:27,599 --> 01:28:29,789 Perhaps I sound a little old fashioned, 1174 01:28:29,894 --> 01:28:31,750 but imagine a spacecraft 1175 01:28:31,855 --> 01:28:37,800 that was endlessly interrupted by latecomers and flapping doors. 1176 01:28:39,550 --> 01:28:44,181 It might just possibly go completely mad! 1177 01:28:44,973 --> 01:28:46,392 It might just possibly 1178 01:28:46,601 --> 01:28:49,312 lift off the launch pad and go 1179 01:28:49,562 --> 01:28:52,817 streaming off into the depths of the universe. 1180 01:28:53,234 --> 01:28:57,322 and never been seen again until the end of time. 1181 01:29:48,592 --> 01:29:50,678 Right. Hymn 122: 1182 01:29:51,679 --> 01:29:54,140 "He Who Would Valiant Be". 1183 01:31:17,792 --> 01:31:19,996 Mr Stimpson! 1184 01:31:44,709 --> 01:31:46,065 Excuse me, sir. 1185 01:31:46,066 --> 01:31:47,734 Mr Stimpson? Mr Stimpson? 1186 01:31:47,944 --> 01:31:50,029 Brian? Brian, stay there. 1187 01:31:50,239 --> 01:31:54,722 - Mr Stimpson? - Laura! Laura! 1188 01:31:54,724 --> 01:31:55,558 Excuse me. 1189 01:31:55,559 --> 01:31:57,019 Are you Mr Brian Stimpson of... 1190 01:32:06,508 --> 01:32:08,489 I want to have a word with my husband. 1191 01:32:13,494 --> 01:32:16,205 This is my lovely day, 1192 01:32:17,353 --> 01:32:20,482 this is the day I will remember, 1193 01:32:20,483 --> 01:32:23,924 the day I'm dying. 1194 01:32:23,925 --> 01:32:27,783 They can't take this away, 1195 01:32:27,784 --> 01:32:32,476 it will be always mine, the sun and the wine, 1196 01:32:32,477 --> 01:32:36,335 the seabirds flying... 1197 01:32:47,764 --> 01:32:48,807 Where are they going now? 1198 01:32:48,808 --> 01:32:52,186 Both seen driving away, silver Porsche sports coup� 1199 01:32:52,353 --> 01:32:53,981 Furthermore, there are also 1200 01:32:54,231 --> 01:32:57,569 various charges relating to the theft of certain items of gents' clothing 1201 01:32:58,068 --> 01:33:00,488 including an ecclesiastical vestment, 1202 01:33:00,697 --> 01:33:02,365 and of a wallet containing 1203 01:33:02,575 --> 01:33:05,161 approximately �1,230 in cash. 1204 01:33:05,870 --> 01:33:09,291 Do you wish to say anything? You're not obliged to unless you wish to do so. 1205 01:33:09,499 --> 01:33:13,171 but whatever you say will be taken down in writing and may be given in evidence. 1206 01:33:13,546 --> 01:33:15,256 Go right, right. 1207 01:33:17,301 --> 01:33:20,179 - Right? - Eh? No, no left. Left! 1208 01:33:26,853 --> 01:33:33,735 My lovely day, my lovely day. 1209 01:33:34,305 --> 01:33:40,665 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org90709