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1
00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:56,100
'My name is Charlie Wood...
2
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'I think I made a big mistake.'
3
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:51,300
Higher...
4
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,300
I can't, sweetheart.
Any higher, you're gonna hit the moon.
5
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,100
And get a bump?
6
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,800
That's right, smart girl,
and get a bump!
7
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,600
Oh, hey! Emily, look who it is.
8
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,400
- Hi, Isabella.
- Hi, Emilita.
9
00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:27,400
- There we go... Hi, how are you?
- Hey, great.
10
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,400
Ok, I've got her lunch,
an extra Thermos of apple juice,
11
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:35,100
her Elmo doll, Mr Frizzles,
12 grapes in a bag...
12
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,000
I got it, Mr Wood.
13
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,800
- Thanks. I'll see you at 5:00.
- OK.
14
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,500
All right, sweetheart. Come here.
High five...
15
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:12,600
First the Wyoming Widow,
now the Oregon Undertaker.
16
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,500
They just pulled a dead girl
out of the reservoir.
17
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,600
God! Suicide?
18
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:22,700
If she chopped off her own arms and
legs before strangling herself, maybe.
19
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,700
- Pen, I'm eating.
- They figure it's the Oregon Undertaker.
20
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:29,100
That's the fourth girl in six months.
21
00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:31,600
Each one mutilated
and disembowelled...
22
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,200
- Pen! Pen!
- Oh, sorry baby.
23
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:40,800
Listen, Charlie. You don't
have to do this, you know.
24
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,700
Course I do. We can't go on
living on one income.
25
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,600
How many times have you
given Emily SpaghettiOs?
26
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,900
She likes SpaghettiOs.
27
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:53,000
Hey, baby. Trust me.
Once they buy your book...
28
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:57,100
Not a single publisher has called, Pen.
Not a single one.
29
00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:01,700
'The term
"black hole" is of very recent origin.
30
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:06,200
'It was coined in 1969
by the American scientist John...'
31
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:27,600
We handle
nearly 200,000 calls a day -
32
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:31,900
the hotlines to some of the biggest
corporations in the country.
33
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:36,700
- Sentel Online. Melanie speaking...
... Melanie speaking. How can I help?
34
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,300
Again, my name is Melanie.
Have a great day.
35
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,600
Do you only hire women
named Melanie?
36
00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:47,600
It's a trick of the trade. Callers like
to think they get the same service rep.
37
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:51,000
This here is the Melanie
and John section,
38
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,300
and you are over here
with the Jennifers and Stephens.
39
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,800
This is you.
40
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,600
What do you mean this is me?
I was told I had a supervisor position.
41
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,800
You gotta spend six months
in the trenches
42
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,300
before you can interview
for a supervisor.
43
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,900
But I have a PhD.
44
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:17,600
- Surely...
- Look. You want the job or not?
45
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:22,000
- Yeah.
- Great!
46
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,200
Gus here will help get you started.
47
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:27,200
- OK, Stephen.
- It's Charlie.
48
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,400
Sure it is!
49
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:33,000
In the File menu do you see
where it says Open?
50
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,000
Okey-dokey. Can you open
the Open menu?
51
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:45,700
Okey-dokey. Again, my name is
Stephen. Thank you for calling Sentel.
52
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,600
'I actually liked Gus
at first sight.'
53
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,200
- Welcome to hell, dickhead!
- 'Maybe not at first.'
54
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,500
- I'm sorry?
- Hell!
55
00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:57,100
People hooked up to machines
like slaves.
56
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,800
And the smell...
It's pure underarm.
57
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:05,600
OK, so what do we do here?
58
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,900
Sentel Online, Stephen speaking.
How may I help you?
59
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:16,100
Okey-dokey, ma'am. Have you
checked to see if your PC is on?
60
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,700
No, I'm not a retard.
That's simply the protocol...
61
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,700
Sorry.
62
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:28,400
Okey-dokey. I'm gonna check that
with my supervisor real quick
63
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,200
and I'm gonna put you on hold.
64
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:34,100
You feel feisty, you whiney
little turkey-necked bitch?
65
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:38,800
Why don't you hop up on my dick
and see if that fires your monitor?
66
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,500
Hello, ma'am. Thanks for waiting.
67
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,100
I'm gonna transfer you over to our
technical service department.
68
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:49,100
Okey-dokey? Please hold...
69
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:55,300
In the kingdom of the blind,
the one-eyed dwarf is king!
70
00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,400
That's my wife, Stephanie.
Ex-wife! Keep forgetting!
71
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,300
And that there is my little daughter,
Thais.
72
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,200
- That's a pretty name.
- Yeah, it's Greek. It means 'Beloved'.
73
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,200
Thais has this problem
with her eye pressure
74
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,800
and the doctor said if she doesn't get
a cornea transplant in a year
75
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,600
then she's gonna go blind.
76
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,400
Every year, 65,000 diabetics
77
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,400
develop Proliferative Retinopathy,
78
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,800
one of the leading precursors
to blindness.
79
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,800
She's not diabetic.
80
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,400
Ahem! So, are you gonna be able
to afford the surgery before she...
81
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:47,300
Yeah, I hope so. If everything,
you know, goes as expected.
82
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,600
- What do you mean?
- Huh?
83
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,900
I have a plan.
84
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,800
Oh, hells bells!
85
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:06,600
'You see,
Stephen, I'm 65 years old now
86
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:10,700
'and my husband is asking me to do it
donkey-style...'
87
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:17,200
OK, ma'am. I'm going to transfer you to
our technical department. Please hold...
88
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,500
- Good god...
- Are you expecting a call?
89
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,800
Sentel Online, this is Charlie, er...
Stephen. How can I help you?
90
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:31,300
'Yeah, my IP Address is stuck on 169.'
91
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:36,700
OK, Sir. Have you checked
to make sure your computer is on?
92
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,800
- 'Didn't you hear what I said? '
- Yes.
93
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,500
Oh, IP Address. IP Address...
94
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:48,300
Here we go. Your IP Address
should start with 81.
95
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,100
So... does it?
96
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:56,000
'I told you it was stuck on 169!
Do the cleaners answer the phones?
97
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,500
- Sir...
- 'No, don't sir me, asshole!
98
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,600
'Just help me out
with my fucking problem! '
99
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:05,300
Please hold on while I check
with our technical department.
100
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:10,600
Yes, sir. Your wife is one
of 3.8 percent of American women
101
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:16,200
who engage in online chats with a
stranger, accompanied by masturbation.
102
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,900
'My wife died three months ago.
103
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:25,900
'But I'd like to discuss that
with your supervisor, Stephen.'
104
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,500
Hey! Charlie, wait. Wait!
105
00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:48,900
- It's my fault.
- Don't worry about it. I'll be all right.
106
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,200
- Look, you know I said I had a plan?
- Yep.
107
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,500
Well, why don't you come in on it
with me?
108
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,600
You know, be like a partner
or something?
109
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,000
I sure as hell feel like I owe you one.
110
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,100
- It's not illegal, is it?
- What? No...
111
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,900
- Dickinson!
- Yeah. Right.
112
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:10,800
Look, meet me at the Monkey Wrench,
nine o'clock. OK? Yeah.
113
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:50,500
Choo-choo Charlie!
114
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:55,000
Hey, Max. Two bottles of your finest
mass-produced lager, if you please.
115
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,700
- So?
- Come here.
116
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,200
So, I stumbled across the database
at work.
117
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,700
The online history of each
and every member of Sentel Online.
118
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:12,900
Look, this is their record of everyone
in the state
119
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:17,800
that went online in the last three months
and logged on to an illegal porn site.
120
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:20,800
Now I figure there's gotta be
somebody in here
121
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:24,300
willing to fork over some coin
to keep things hush-hush.
122
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,000
- They all look the same
- And yet they're not.
123
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:39,400
- R-E-V Neville Smalls. What's R-E-V?
- Reverend.
124
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:43,400
Exactly! It's brilliant, don't you think?
125
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:51,600
- I don't think I'm criminal material...
- Wait, wait!
126
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:56,100
We're talking about a man of the cloth
127
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,800
who likes to watch teenagers
take off their clothes
128
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,800
and have god-knows-who
do god-knows-what to them!
129
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:03,600
Who's the real criminal here?
130
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:09,500
I tried to do things by the book, the
nine to five. You know where it got me?
131
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:13,000
My daughter is about to go blind,
Charlie. Blind!
132
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,300
- How much?
- 50 for me, 50 for you. Even hundred.
133
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,000
A hundred?
134
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,100
Thousand?
135
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:31,100
- Dollars?
- Not much to preserve one's reputation.
136
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:34,900
- What if somebody gets hurt?
- It's a non-violent enterprise.
137
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:40,000
No harm done whatsoever. Pretty
much all I need is for you to be my alibi.
138
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:43,100
- That's all?
- That's all.
139
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,600
OK...
140
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,900
Pick the blue one
and you go back to your old life.
141
00:12:57,100 --> 00:13:00,700
But pick the red one
and you finally get to be a free man.
142
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:11,100
But, I must warn you, once you eat
the red one... there's no turning back.
143
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,600
Yes! I gotta tell you,
I was a little nervous about going solo.
144
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,000
OK. Rule number one -
preparation is king.
145
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,500
More than anything else,
we wanna rule out the element of...
146
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:32,800
- Surprise!
- Jeez!
147
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:35,000
Josie, how long were you sitting there?
148
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:38,800
Long enough to ask how you'd feel
about bringing in a third.
149
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,700
'Here's the touching story
of how Gus met Josie.'
150
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,800
Er... miss.
151
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,200
- Yes, sir?
- I'm gonna get the cheque.
152
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,400
- Why?
- Does the chef have curly hair?
153
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:04,000
- No.
- I'm gonna get the cheque.
154
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:10,200
- You work at the call centre, huh?
- Yeah, how can you tell?
155
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:12,600
- Well, half the town does.
- Right.
156
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:16,300
- You have that look the rest of them do.
- What look is that?
157
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:21,600
That how much longer till I drop dead
so I don't have to go to my stupid job!
158
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,200
- That look.
- Yeah, that would be the one.
159
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,800
- You from here?
- Nope. Oklahoma.
160
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:34,300
- Oh, Oklahoma. What's that like?
- Nowhere near as sexy as you.
161
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,900
- Ahem!
- I'll get that.
162
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,700
So, care to hear about
our desert special?
163
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:53,300
Wow! Jeez! You sure are a very
forthright and smart girl, ain't ya?
164
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,900
That's what they said last year when
they crowned me Miss Teen Oklahoma.
165
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,700
- What?
- What?
166
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,800
- Miss Teen Oklahoma? Last year?
- Yeah.
167
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,300
- How old are you?
- 18... more or less.
168
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,500
Is it more or is it less?
169
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,900
Well... less, I guess!
170
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,800
Shit!
171
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:22,200
- What the hell's matter with you?
- You're a child!
172
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:26,200
Do I look like a child? Huh?
173
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,900
OK... Ah! Is there anything else
you forgot to mention?
174
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:43,000
- Who are you?
- Charlie Wood, Gus's former co-worker.
175
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,800
Josie McBroom.
Gus and I were an item.
176
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,700
- Ha!
- What?
177
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:51,200
- I'm sorry to interrupt, but what...
- I want in.
178
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:57,800
All right, read my lips, OK -
no f... g way!
179
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,400
- You guys can't do the job without me?
- Why?
180
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,600
Because, dumb-dumb, I'm the only one
who can make the call.
181
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:07,000
If the preacher records you
on his answer machine
182
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:11,300
they'll try and match it up with
the voice records from the call centre.
183
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,500
You guy's would be screwed,
stuffed and mounted.
184
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:17,900
- Is that true?
- Kinda.
185
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,200
How'd you work that out?
186
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,200
I told you, I was Miss Teen Oklahoma.
187
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,500
- How much do you want?
- 20,000.
188
00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:31,400
20,000? For making a phone call?
189
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,500
For making 'the' phone call.
190
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,900
'The average person makes
about 1,140 phone calls each year,
191
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,200
'none of which go anything like this.'
192
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:51,300
May I speak to the Reverend Smalls,
please?
193
00:16:56,900 --> 00:17:01,000
Hi, Reverend. Are you familiar
with a website that goes by the name of
194
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:06,200
teen orgies dot com,
or young and hung dot com?
195
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,600
Someone who knows what the mouse
plays when the wife's away.
196
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:18,000
Listen, sicko. I have a list of all your
favourite sites, your credit card number,
197
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:22,400
dates and times of all your connections,
so you better cut the crap!
198
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,100
- What do I want?
- 100,000 dollars.
199
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:35,200
100,000 dollars.
200
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,400
- 200,000.
- What?
201
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,100
You heard me,
I want 200,000 dollars, cash.
202
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:47,100
Take it or leave it. But if I don't have
my money by tomorrow evening,
203
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,000
the next church newsletter
is gonna be a doozy!
204
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,900
And I'll be sending somebody.
205
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:03,100
Well, I think that somebody deserves
to made a full partner, don't you?
206
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,800
Wait! I took a chance and it worked.
207
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,300
Now we each get 70,000 dollars.
208
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:13,800
It's actually 66,666,
followed by an infinite number of sixes.
209
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,800
Thanks, Rain Man!
210
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:20,800
From now on, anybody pulls
any out-of-the-blue stunts, she's out!
211
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,700
If we're partners,
let's start acting like it.
212
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:28,300
This is the plan - I go get the money
at 9:00 pm tomorrow.
213
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,200
'At the same time,
Charlie enters the Monkey Wrench
214
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:34,200
'and pretends we ran
out of gas on the road to Mill Creek.'
215
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:37,200
He also says that I'm on my way
to the gas station,
216
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,300
the one that opens 24/7, don't forget.
217
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,000
10:00 pm, after I stash the money
in a locker at the railway station,
218
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:46,500
I come back and tell everyone
about my walk in the dark.
219
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,100
If it comes up, Charlie was at the bar,
I was at the gas station.
220
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:52,600
The guy at the station
will say he never saw you.
221
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:56,900
- Sure. You why? Cos he's blind.
- Oh, pretty brill!
222
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:59,200
The following day we meet at noon,
223
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,900
we divvy up the money
and go our respective ways.
224
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,600
OK, now. Any questions?
225
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,600
Why don't we just divvy up
the money immediately?
226
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:10,800
Rule number two -
always let the dust settle after a job.
227
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,000
"Rule number two?" What, you've been
reading 'Blackmailing for Dummies'?
228
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,200
Any questions? Great.
229
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:22,800
Rule number three - no matter what
happens... always stick to the plan.
230
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,800
'The next day might have been
the longest one I'd ever known.
231
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,800
'For the first time
since I could remember
232
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,200
'I'd be able to bring security
and happiness to my family.'
233
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:59,700
'I couldn't tell you
if what I felt was fear or excitement.'
234
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:05,900
So, Mr Supervisor, talk to me.
Do you have a secretary?
235
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,300
- Yep.
- Is she pretty?
236
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:13,300
Pretty?
Er... no, she's more nondescript.
237
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,700
What's her name?
238
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:17,900
- Sharon.
- Sharon?
239
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,600
- Sharon what?
- Er... Stone.
240
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,100
- Sharon Stone?
- I know!
241
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,400
- So, how was your day?
- Oh, phenomenal
242
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,100
And to top it off,
the FBI is sending in The Eye.
243
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,400
- The what?
- The who?
244
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,600
Bionic, supersonic Special Agent
Chester Hymes, FBI. AKA The Eye.
245
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,300
Which is just what I need
with the Undertaker case out of control -
246
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,700
no leads, no fingerprints, nothing.
247
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:48,000
Honestly, why some folks suddenly
have to turn into criminals is beyond me.
248
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,200
- What if I did?
- What if you did what?
249
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:59,200
If I became a criminal.
250
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:03,700
Like if I, er... stole some money,
or something.
251
00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:06,100
I'd arrest you.
252
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,900
But let's say...
let's say I had to.
253
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:23,900
Like we had no other choice
and I had to steal something, er...
254
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,000
because I had to. What then?
255
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,900
I'd arrest you.
256
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:33,200
- Why?
- A good cop always gets her man!
257
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,500
No... I'm serious, Pen.
258
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,400
Why...
259
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,300
Why should Emily have to put up
with second-hand toys,
260
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,800
second-hand clothes,
a second-hand life?
261
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:51,300
Charlie, you have your book, you have
me and Emily. And that makes us rich.
262
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:29,800
Hi.
263
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,900
Oh, what a crazy night!
264
00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:35,700
- My car ran out of gas...
- You gonna order?
265
00:22:35,900 --> 00:22:37,900
Sure. Beer, please.
266
00:22:38,100 --> 00:22:41,000
One of your finest, mass-produced...
267
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,700
My friend, Gus... You know Gus.
268
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,800
Gus Dickinson, works down
at the call centre.
269
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,000
Reverend Smalls?
270
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:07,900
And that's where he is now -
walking down that road to the station.
271
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,100
Reverend Sma...
272
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,200
Smalls...
273
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:18,100
The old blind guy who runs the station
keeps it open 24/7.
274
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:22,100
Old blind guy is celebrating his 80th
birthday tonight, young fella.
275
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,400
Who the hell are you?
276
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:33,400
Er... I'm the guy that's here
to collect the money.
277
00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:48,700
- Give me your gun.
- I don't have one.
278
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,700
You've come to get money from me
and you ain't packing?
279
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,100
Give my regards
to the big bearded guy.
280
00:23:57,300 --> 00:24:00,700
You don't mean Santa Claus, do you?
281
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,400
Gus?
282
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,400
Gus?
283
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,200
Gus?
284
00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:35,300
Gus?
285
00:24:50,100 --> 00:24:52,100
Oh my...!
286
00:25:14,700 --> 00:25:19,100
'If it's you, Jos�, fuck
off! Everybody else, leave a message.'
287
00:25:19,500 --> 00:25:23,300
Josie? Josie? Pick up.
288
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:29,800
Josie, are you there?
We have a real problem here. Pick up.
289
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Gus?
290
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,800
Gus?
291
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,900
Gus? Gus, are you there?
292
00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:14,500
Gus?
293
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,400
Gus?
294
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,200
- Oh!
- Oh my God!
295
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,100
- What happened?
- What are you doing here?
296
00:27:29,300 --> 00:27:31,900
The station was closed.
297
00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:34,100
Our alibi! So I came here.
298
00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:36,800
- Whoa! Calm down
- What the hell happened?
299
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,600
The bastard pulled a gun on me.
He was gonna shoot me
300
00:27:39,900 --> 00:27:42,500
and I grabbed the gun and it went off.
No biggy.
301
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,600
- No biggy?
- I conked him on the head with a vase.
302
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,800
He's gonna wake up any minute now.
303
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,600
Oh, Gus...
304
00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:00,800
I think I made a big mistake.
305
00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:06,700
- Did you call the cops?
- I put him in the septic tank.
306
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,000
- Who?
- The corpse.
307
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,200
- What corpse?
- The reverend's corpse.
308
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,500
The reverend wasn't a corpse
when I left him.
309
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,800
- There was blood. I saw blood...
- It was my blood.
310
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,400
He shot me through the leg.
Look, it went clean through the muscle.
311
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,600
Oh my god.
312
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,400
Why didn't you answer
when I called you?
313
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,400
I was in the bathroom
cleaning the wound.
314
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,000
I checked his pulse. I mean, well...
315
00:28:40,300 --> 00:28:43,100
- Maybe I missed it. 17 percent...
- You missed it?
316
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,800
What? Can't we get him
out of the tank?
317
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,400
- How long's he been down there?
- 10 minutes, tops.
318
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:51,700
What?
319
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,800
I thought I said, no matter what,
stick to the fucking plan.
320
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:58,300
There wasn't anything
in the fucking plan
321
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,000
about the blind guy's birthday
and the reverend in a pool of blood!
322
00:29:02,300 --> 00:29:04,100
All right, let's calm down.
323
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,100
- Don't you need a doctor?
- Yeah!
324
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,400
There's a slightly more
pressing matter!
325
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,700
- What are you doing?
- He's crying.
326
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:46,700
Jesus, Gus. He's crying
for what we've done, for our sin.
327
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,700
- Jesus. Hail Mary, full of grace...
- Bathtub.
328
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,600
Goddammit! Is that part of your plan?
329
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,200
After you kill someone
you take a nice hot bath?
330
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:07,400
I didn't kill anybody, first of all.
Second, I don't pray to leaky ceilings!
331
00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:11,200
Well you know what,
I'm having a tough time here.
332
00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:16,000
I just drowned a man of the cloth
in crap!
333
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,600
- Maybe I should turn myself in...
- No!
334
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,800
Nobody is turning anybody in
335
00:30:21,100 --> 00:30:24,700
Now did you know the priest was alive
when you killed him?
336
00:30:24,900 --> 00:30:27,400
- No.
- There you go then.
337
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:36,700
How could we have thought a reverend
would have 200,000 dollars in cash?
338
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,000
The average savings of an
American couple between 35 and 50
339
00:30:42,300 --> 00:30:44,600
is 15,256 dollars.
340
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,000
Charlie, Charlie...
341
00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:49,800
Shut up!
342
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,200
Wait!
343
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,100
No! Rule number four -
never return to the crime scene.
344
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,400
It's Josie's card, I left it by the phone.
345
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:04,100
Rule number five - if your partner
is an idiot, forget rule number four.
346
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:13,400
It's gone.
347
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,000
Got it.
348
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:27,500
Ow! What the fuck?
349
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,700
Ow!
350
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,500
Shouldn't we be going?
351
00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:44,400
Aren't you just a little curious?
352
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,200
'Have a look right there.
This beauty, huh?
353
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,600
'How are you? '
354
00:31:56,900 --> 00:32:00,000
'Look. This is for you, all right? '
355
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,600
- She's an actress, right?
- 'Shut up, all right?
356
00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:06,700
'You like this, baby?
You like this? Right here?
357
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,200
'You like to feel that? Feel that. Yeah.
358
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:13,600
'Yeah. You know what this?
I am gonna carve your face up...
359
00:32:13,900 --> 00:32:15,900
'Argh! '
360
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:17,900
'Shut up! '
361
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:22,200
If I didn't know better, you know
what I'd say this looks like?
362
00:32:25,100 --> 00:32:27,800
A snuff film?
363
00:32:33,100 --> 00:32:34,900
Holy moly!
364
00:32:35,100 --> 00:32:38,900
- Who says Holy moly?
- Is it important right now?
365
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:43,400
This is why he was so keen to cop
a deal. He's part of a snuff film ring.
366
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,900
- We've gotta call the police.
- What are we gonna tell them?
367
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,700
- Look, if they find the body...
- They're not gonna find the body.
368
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,400
The septic tank was genius.
Look at it this way -
369
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,800
we may have saved lives tonight.
370
00:32:57,100 --> 00:33:00,400
- You think he's the Oregon Undertaker?
- Who knows.
371
00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:02,800
He sure as hell got what he deserved.
372
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,300
Charlie... Wait!
373
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,700
You mind if I come in?
374
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:16,600
What?
375
00:33:17,900 --> 00:33:20,100
We found the reverend's body.
376
00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:24,600
- It was an accident...
- This was no accident.
377
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,200
Someone shot him three times
in the head
378
00:33:28,500 --> 00:33:31,200
and left him in his car
by the side of the road.
379
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:37,600
That's a hard pill to swallow.
Murder always is.
380
00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:43,000
I'm sorry. Are you certain
that it's the Reverend Smalls?
381
00:33:43,300 --> 00:33:45,700
- Oh yeah. We've got a positive ID.
- Then who's...
382
00:33:46,700 --> 00:33:49,000
Who's what?
383
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,700
Who is... safe
384
00:33:52,900 --> 00:33:55,000
in this godforsaken world...
385
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,500
- You family?
- Yeah... No!
386
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:01,500
Just a friend. A family friend.
387
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,900
- And your name is?
- Stephen.
388
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:08,200
Stephen Hawking.
389
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,800
Mind if I...
390
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:31,400
- You're watching a DVD, huh?
- Yeah... No!
391
00:34:31,700 --> 00:34:34,800
I mean... did you know that DVD sales
392
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:39,900
have risen by 226 percent
over the last six months?
393
00:34:40,300 --> 00:34:42,900
Well... no.
394
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,600
But I sure am 100 percent glad
to know that. Thanks for the factoid.
395
00:34:52,900 --> 00:34:56,700
So, er... can I get you a drink?
396
00:34:56,900 --> 00:34:59,200
A glass of H20, if you please,
Mr Hawking.
397
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,800
There's some blood on the floor.
398
00:35:20,100 --> 00:35:22,100
- Mr Hawking?
- Yeah. I, er...
399
00:35:22,300 --> 00:35:24,700
I broke a vase and, er...
400
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,500
and accidentally cut my arm
on one of the shards.
401
00:35:37,100 --> 00:35:40,100
- Look...
- Oh, doggy!
402
00:35:40,300 --> 00:35:42,300
That hurts just looking at it.
403
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,900
- What are you doing?
- Getting a sample. Standard procedure.
404
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,700
'Deputy Garmen, Detective
Wood wants you at the station.'
405
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,800
Copy that.
406
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,200
Detective Wood, always breathing
down my neck.
407
00:35:56,500 --> 00:35:59,100
Ain't had a good poke, if you ask me.
408
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:04,300
I'm not asking, but whatever.
409
00:36:04,500 --> 00:36:06,200
Well, I'd better get a move on.
410
00:36:10,900 --> 00:36:14,200
Mmm... What a beautiful night.
411
00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:18,400
You could almost
touch those stars, huh?
412
00:36:18,700 --> 00:36:20,800
Yep.
413
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,000
Although, even if you were travelling
the speed of light
414
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:27,200
it would take you 1,460 days
to reach the closest one.
415
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,400
Is that right?
416
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,500
Well you are just a walking
factoid factory, partner!
417
00:36:32,700 --> 00:36:35,700
You have yourself
a good night.
418
00:36:35,900 --> 00:36:37,700
You, too, officer.
419
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:45,200
Oh... would you mind if I took a gander
at that DVD you were watching?
420
00:36:48,100 --> 00:36:50,300
Curiosity killed the cat, Officer.
421
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,700
In my line of work, the cat gets a raise
and a promotion.
422
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,600
My nine-year-old loves this one.
423
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,300
Especially this part
with this singing cow.
424
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:17,300
I've got to admit, Stephen...
425
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,600
I thought you were hiding something.
426
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,600
It kinda looks like
something got dragged here.
427
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,400
You wanna come with me?
428
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,600
I need you to lift this up for me,
Stephen.
429
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,600
- Officer, you don't want to smell...
- Open it.
430
00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:07,400
So much for the raise
and the promotion, Officer!
431
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,100
There we go.
432
00:38:11,300 --> 00:38:15,100
I knew Columbo here would come back
for the DVD. What do we do with him?
433
00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:18,600
- Who is in the septic tank?
- How do I know.
434
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,900
Check the papers, see who's missing.
435
00:38:21,100 --> 00:38:23,800
And then what, Gus?
We killed somebody!
436
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:28,200
- Oh, you killed somebody!
- Well, you kidnapped a cop!
437
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:33,300
- Oh, yes, I did! What do you propose?
- I'm turning myself in.
438
00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:35,800
They'll say murdered
the real reverend.
439
00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:39,300
- I had nothing to do with that!
- So? What do they care?
440
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,700
Makes it all nice and neat for them.
No messy loose ends.
441
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,800
I'd bet good money they'll be all, "Gosh!
We finally caught the Undertaker!"
442
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,500
You'll be spitting fire and crying sparks.
443
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,200
Enough, OK? Let's not
make this worse than it is.
444
00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:54,900
Charlie, how could this be any worse?
445
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,200
You're not going anywhere.
446
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,200
You're gonna shoot me?
447
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,600
I've got a family too, Charlie.
I am not going to jail.
448
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,500
I am going to shoot you, Charlie!
449
00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:12,400
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
450
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,500
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am!
451
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,500
Shit!
452
00:39:33,500 --> 00:39:35,500
Ah! I knew you would...
453
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,300
I wouldn't do that.
454
00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:48,600
Who the hell are you?
455
00:39:48,900 --> 00:39:53,600
Considering that I live here, young man,
the question is, "Who the hell are you?"
456
00:39:55,100 --> 00:39:58,900
It's not what you think, Mrs Smalls.
We're not burglars.
457
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,100
Look... we have some terrible news.
458
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:05,800
Your husband, the reverend...
459
00:40:06,100 --> 00:40:08,100
has passed on.
460
00:40:08,300 --> 00:40:11,000
Considering I put three bullets
in his head
461
00:40:11,300 --> 00:40:13,900
I should certainly hope so!
462
00:40:14,100 --> 00:40:17,100
Mrs Smalls, you have the right
to remain silent.
463
00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:19,400
- Anything you say...
- Oh, please!
464
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,600
So you killed him?
465
00:40:21,900 --> 00:40:25,000
I spent years turning a blind eye
to that pervert's, er...
466
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,800
shall we say filmmaking aspirations.
467
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,500
Max and I felt we deserved
a share of his benefits.
468
00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:35,000
- Who's Max?
- A real man.
469
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:40,500
We're going from here to somewhere
where we'll never worry ever again.
470
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,900
- Er... Ahem!
- What?
471
00:40:45,100 --> 00:40:47,800
I think he may already be there.
472
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:53,600
- What? He wouldn't leave without me.
- He didn't really have a choice.
473
00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:56,100
- It was an accident.
- OK!
474
00:40:56,300 --> 00:40:59,000
- Shut up...
- Why don't you both shut up!
475
00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:04,200
All right, where's the money?
476
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:09,700
- Sorry, what money?
- Two million dollars doesn't just vanish!
477
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,900
- Two...
- Yeah, where is it?
478
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,500
Oh dear!
479
00:41:17,500 --> 00:41:20,500
I guess I'll just have to count to three.
One...
480
00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:22,700
- No, Mrs Smalls!
- Tell her where it is.
481
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,400
- We don't know!
- Two...
482
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,300
Tell her!
483
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,400
We'll, I'll be!
I haven't heard Pink Floyd in years.
484
00:41:54,300 --> 00:41:56,900
Well, pa, time to fire up
the old septic tank!
485
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:04,900
By the way, what happened exactly?
486
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,500
Sure. Charlie drowned the reverend,
who he thought was dead
487
00:42:09,900 --> 00:42:12,000
even though he wasn't,
in the septic tank.
488
00:42:12,300 --> 00:42:14,200
Turns out he wasn't the real reverend.
489
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,600
The real reverend was murdered
by his wife,
490
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,900
the woman whose head you split
with an axe - stellar timing!
491
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:25,100
She planned to run away with her lover,
Max, now deceased, thanks to Charlie,
492
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:29,300
and the two million dollars the reverend
raised from his side venture
493
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,000
in shooting and selling snuff films.
Okey-dokey?
494
00:42:33,300 --> 00:42:36,800
- Groovy!
- Groovy?
495
00:42:37,100 --> 00:42:39,900
Three people died tonight, Josie.
496
00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:43,700
In this business, unfortunately,
death is an occupational hazard.
497
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:48,800
And by the way, way to go using
my name in front of the cop... Charlie!
498
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,700
Hey, look. I can help.
499
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:56,600
I'll testify that I heard Mrs Smalls
confess to killing her husband.
500
00:42:56,900 --> 00:43:00,800
As for Mrs Smalls, she was
threatening the life of a police officer.
501
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:06,400
- What about the guy in the tank?
- You killed him by accident.
502
00:43:06,700 --> 00:43:09,900
You wouldn't do much time.
Five years, tops.
503
00:43:10,100 --> 00:43:12,100
Oh my God!
504
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,400
Well that doesn't suck!
505
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,400
I have to hand it to you.
That was a brilliant plan after all.
506
00:43:27,700 --> 00:43:30,700
Can you believe it? We're rich.
507
00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:33,600
You guys can keep my share.
I'm gonna turn myself in.
508
00:43:33,900 --> 00:43:35,900
If I go to jail, I go to jail.
509
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,400
Don't be ridiculous! You earned this.
510
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,600
They'll just hunt us down like animals.
511
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,600
With this kind of money
you can disappear.
512
00:43:43,900 --> 00:43:46,600
I have a wife and daughter,
I don't want to disappear.
513
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,900
Fine. Gus and I will leave the state
514
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,300
and we'll just drop you and the deputy
in the middle of nowhere.
515
00:43:52,700 --> 00:43:55,100
- How's that sound?
- Let's get rid of the deputy.
516
00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:56,900
- What?
- Good thinking!
517
00:43:57,100 --> 00:44:00,700
Since he's the only one who can testify
that we're innocent of the murder.
518
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,800
OK, Miss Teen Oklahoma...
519
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,200
Help!
520
00:44:05,900 --> 00:44:07,600
Help!
521
00:44:34,300 --> 00:44:36,300
- Hold his head.
- What are you doing?
522
00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:38,900
Just helping him relax a little.
523
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,500
My friend here decided to surrender.
524
00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:57,300
We'll drop you both somewhere
and say goodbye.
525
00:44:57,500 --> 00:45:01,400
- You're making a big mistake.
- Let's get out of here.
526
00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:05,300
Wait, wait!
527
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,700
- I gotta go pee.
- Oh...
528
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:12,200
- Please?
- OK.
529
00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:16,700
Wait...
530
00:45:17,100 --> 00:45:19,800
- The handcuffs.
- In your dreams!
531
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,800
There are certain requirements...
532
00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:35,500
There. Enjoy!
533
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,700
I'm sorry...
534
00:45:57,900 --> 00:46:00,100
I can't go if you're, er... watching.
535
00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:02,700
Could you just close...
536
00:46:04,700 --> 00:46:07,800
Stage fright!
It happens to the best of us.
537
00:46:29,700 --> 00:46:31,600
One minute warning.
538
00:46:38,700 --> 00:46:41,000
You dropped this.
539
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:47,100
- No, I can explain... Argh!
- Get up, partner!
540
00:46:47,500 --> 00:46:51,000
- What the hell's the matter with you?
- It's a flight to Vegas.
541
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:54,400
8:00 am. We were supposed
to meet at noon to split the money.
542
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:58,600
- That asshole broke my nose!
- You better have an explanation.
543
00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:04,200
All right, I lied about Thais needing
a cornea transplant. She's fine.
544
00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:09,400
- I owe my wife 300,000 bucks.
- I'm sorry?
545
00:47:09,700 --> 00:47:13,500
I owe my ex-wife 300,000 dollars
and because of her snake of a lawyer
546
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,600
there is a restraining order against me
until I pay up.
547
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,400
I have not seen or talked
to my daughter in two years.
548
00:47:19,700 --> 00:47:21,600
- Why not say?
- Would you have helped?
549
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,100
- Of course not.
- Well, there you go, then!
550
00:47:34,300 --> 00:47:36,900
- Oh my God!
- There goes our alibi.
551
00:47:37,100 --> 00:47:40,000
Uh-uh! Freakin' fantastic!
552
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,900
Don't you see? None of us
has to run away or turn ourselves in.
553
00:47:44,100 --> 00:47:46,700
What do you propose?
We roam the country
554
00:47:46,900 --> 00:47:48,900
like Bonnie and Clyde... and Clyde?
555
00:47:49,100 --> 00:47:53,800
No. First, we take the cop's car
and crash it into a tree up the road.
556
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,700
We put him and the reverend's wife
in her car
557
00:47:57,100 --> 00:47:59,300
and push it over the cliff
at Grouse Point.
558
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:03,800
- They'd find the car in a couple of days.
- And what would the forensic figure?
559
00:48:04,100 --> 00:48:07,900
That the deputy was driving under
the influence of alcohol, crashed,
560
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,700
flagged down another car
driven by Mrs Smalls,
561
00:48:10,900 --> 00:48:13,600
took control of the wheel
and drove them off a cliff.
562
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:17,400
And the wounds, they'd be more
than covered up by the crash.
563
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,300
So the reverend gets murdered
on the same night
564
00:48:20,500 --> 00:48:23,500
that his wife gets driven off a cliff
by a drunken cop?
565
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,900
That doesn't sound very accidental.
566
00:48:26,100 --> 00:48:28,400
You know, he has a point... for once.
567
00:48:28,700 --> 00:48:33,500
OK, er... Then we plant Mrs Smalls'
gun in the car with them.
568
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,600
They figure it was the weapon
that killed the reverend.
569
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,500
They think... maybe she had an affair
with the deputy,
570
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:44,500
maybe they decide to off the reverend
and then maybe they had an accident.
571
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,400
- That's a hell of a lot of maybes!
- Let's hear your bright idea, boss.
572
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,900
Ooh! Old broad sure liked her food!
573
00:49:01,100 --> 00:49:03,800
Fancy body bags!
574
00:49:06,700 --> 00:49:10,200
- You're eating a lollypop?
- I didn't have dinner. I need the sugar.
575
00:49:12,100 --> 00:49:14,200
- Ow!
- Are you OK?
576
00:49:14,500 --> 00:49:17,200
Yeah. Let's just get this done.
577
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:26,900
Can you go any slower?
578
00:50:27,100 --> 00:50:30,300
We don't wanna attract attention,
now do we?
579
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:33,200
No, we don't wanna go back in time,
now do we?
580
00:50:34,300 --> 00:50:38,700
It's only by going faster than light that
one could theoretically go back in time.
581
00:50:39,100 --> 00:50:42,000
Yeah! Do me a favour -
shut the fuck up!
582
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:48,400
You have some serious stress-related
issues. You're not Canadian, are you?
583
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,800
Wh... What?
584
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:55,600
The 2003 statistical report on the health
of Canadians states that 62 percent...
585
00:50:55,900 --> 00:51:01,100
What's wrong with you? You pull these
random facts and stats out of your ass,
586
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,900
and nobody really gives a shit!
587
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:06,700
- Guys!
- Jesus Christ, man!
588
00:51:06,900 --> 00:51:09,000
Charlie, here's a nifty stat for you -
589
00:51:09,300 --> 00:51:12,700
for a guy that knows everything,
to get a job in a call centre
590
00:51:12,900 --> 00:51:16,700
you have to be, bar none, the biggest
loser I have ever met in my life.
591
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,000
And I'm from Las Vegas!
592
00:51:32,700 --> 00:51:36,200
You ever hear of a neurotransmitter
called acetylcholine?
593
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:38,200
What?
594
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:42,200
It's the chemical your brain uses
for memory... dummy.
595
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,500
- Is it?
- Yeah, that's exactly right.
596
00:51:45,700 --> 00:51:50,200
See, the reason I lost my teaching job
is I have this disorder,
597
00:51:50,500 --> 00:51:53,800
typified by a gradual, acute
neuro-degeneration
598
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000
of the cerebral cortex.
599
00:51:56,200 --> 00:52:01,100
Or if that's too "pulled out of my ass"
for you, I'm slowly losing my memory.
600
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,600
Are you making this up?
601
00:52:04,700 --> 00:52:08,600
The doctors think that, in a year or two,
my mind will be a total blank.
602
00:52:08,900 --> 00:52:11,400
So the only thing I can do
to slow things down
603
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:14,700
is to keep working my memory
as much as possible.
604
00:52:16,100 --> 00:52:18,200
Do you remember
what's in the blue bag?
605
00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:21,100
What blue bag?
606
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:26,100
Jeez, guy, I'm really sorry.
You know...
607
00:52:35,100 --> 00:52:38,100
Hey, Gus, what's the Greek word
for bullshit?
608
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:46,600
- You sonofabitch!
- Stop it!
609
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:48,800
Damn it! What the...
610
00:52:53,100 --> 00:52:56,100
- Are you fucking crazy?
- He lied to us again!
611
00:52:56,500 --> 00:52:58,900
He doesn't have a daughter...
612
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:01,900
Is everyone OK in there?
613
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,800
We're fine.
614
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:10,300
Everything's fine.
So, thanks for coming over.
615
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:13,200
- I think we should call the police.
- What?
616
00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:16,400
No, let's not bother them.
They've got a lot on their plate.
617
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:18,600
You're fine, your car's fine.
618
00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:22,400
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure
that's standard procedure, isn't it?
619
00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:27,600
I'll be honest with you - I don't give
a rat's ass for standard procedure.
620
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:31,800
Here, why don't you pack your fat ass
back in your car
621
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,900
and buy yourself as big a sandwich
as your heart desires.
622
00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:38,100
Is that standard enough
procedure for you?
623
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,500
- Your trunk is open.
- What?
624
00:53:42,500 --> 00:53:44,700
You all going on a trip somewhere?
625
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:48,900
Sure looks you're packed for a long one.
Is that your entire wardrobe in there?
626
00:53:49,300 --> 00:53:51,500
No, it's a couple of dead bodies.
627
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,000
- That was a good one!
- I'm glad you liked it...
628
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:01,800
Oh, jeez!
629
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:05,600
Oh, it's time for old stingy!
630
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:07,600
What?
631
00:54:07,900 --> 00:54:09,900
Oh, it's insulin.
632
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,100
Whatever!
633
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,300
Freak show!
634
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:26,300
- Ow!
- You sonofabitch!
635
00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:29,900
Granted, I lied, but I have
a responsibility towards myself.
636
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:33,300
- When I got out of prison, I swore...
- What? What?
637
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:36,400
You were in prison? For what?
638
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:40,400
I kind of convinced some people
to invest in some businesses
639
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,600
that weren't actually,
technically in existence.
640
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,600
- Anything else you forgot, sociopath?
- Oh, come on!
641
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,700
- Aren't you overreacting a bit?
- Overreacting?
642
00:54:50,100 --> 00:54:52,500
I happen to be a very good conman.
643
00:54:52,700 --> 00:54:55,700
That's my talent. What do you want
me to do, waste it?
644
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:59,000
You don't go around using it
on your partners, jerk!
645
00:55:00,100 --> 00:55:03,700
I bet Gus isn't even your real name.
What is it?
646
00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:07,300
- No, really, I'd love to know.
- My mother, God rest her soul...
647
00:55:07,700 --> 00:55:10,500
...named me after Augustus...
648
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:47,400
What the...
649
00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:58,200
- Maybe she's jumped out the trunk.
- She didn't jump out of any trunk.
650
00:55:58,500 --> 00:56:00,800
- She's fucking dead.
- Did you check her pulse?
651
00:56:01,100 --> 00:56:04,100
- Er... no.
- Why didn't you check her pulse?
652
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:08,000
Because I assume that when you
have an axe lodged in your skull
653
00:56:08,300 --> 00:56:10,300
your pulse tends to bottom out on you!
654
00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:14,400
- Maybe you shouldn't assume so much.
- All right, just settle down, kids!
655
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:18,100
All that matters now is that we find her
before someone else does.
656
00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:22,300
- Try to keep it on the road this time!
- Hey, fuck you! Fuck you both!
657
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:28,500
When people ain't punching me
in the eye, my driving is just perfect.
658
00:56:28,900 --> 00:56:30,500
Argh!
659
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:56,100
Want me to check her pulse?
660
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:03,800
Shit!
661
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:10,200
- Charlie?
- Hi, honey!
662
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:13,600
- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
663
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:18,700
Wh... We had an anonymous call
reporting a body in the road.
664
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,700
We just ran over it.
665
00:57:20,900 --> 00:57:23,200
Hi, I'm Josie McBroom.
666
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:26,400
I thought you were having a drink
with your supervisor.
667
00:57:26,700 --> 00:57:31,000
Technically, I'm Junior Supervisor
but they did place Charlie under me.
668
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:35,600
- Oh...
- And you must be...
669
00:57:35,900 --> 00:57:37,600
- Penelope Wood.
- Penelope.
670
00:57:37,900 --> 00:57:40,200
- Detective Penelope Wood.
- Of course!
671
00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:43,900
Charlie has told me a lot about you...
672
00:57:44,100 --> 00:57:46,900
Did he say he has a little girl
and that I brought her...
673
00:57:47,100 --> 00:57:50,500
- Emily's here?
... because there's no one at home?
674
00:57:50,900 --> 00:57:52,800
Now, what happened, exactly?
675
00:57:53,100 --> 00:57:56,800
Well, we were driving into town
676
00:57:57,100 --> 00:57:59,500
and all of a sudden - bang!
677
00:57:59,700 --> 00:58:03,100
We ran over this body here. There
was nothing I could do to avoid her.
678
00:58:03,300 --> 00:58:06,700
No one could have. I swear,
she just popped out of nowhere.
679
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:11,500
- And you are?
- Who, me? I'm Gus.
680
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:15,300
Gus Dickinson is my name.
A co-worker of Charlie's.
681
00:58:17,100 --> 00:58:20,100
- Who are you calling?
- My deputy.
682
00:58:29,100 --> 00:58:30,900
Aren't you gonna answer that?
683
00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:35,200
Uh-uh! It's probably
just my ex-boyfriend.
684
00:58:35,500 --> 00:58:37,600
Freakin' stalker, you know?
685
00:58:40,500 --> 00:58:45,100
Deputy Garmen, Detective Wood here.
You need to report in immediately.
686
00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:48,100
Detective Wood.
687
00:58:50,100 --> 00:58:51,900
Where?
688
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:55,700
Shit!
689
00:58:55,900 --> 00:58:58,300
- The Eye is at the station.
- The what?
690
00:58:58,500 --> 00:59:03,500
All right, I want you all to follow me down
there. I'm gonna need your statements.
691
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:07,200
Can't that wait till tomorrow?
I'm sure it more productive
692
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:10,000
if we'd had a good night's sleep, right?
693
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:16,900
You might have mentioned
that your wife was a detective.
694
00:59:17,300 --> 00:59:18,600
Shut up.
695
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,800
Gus, you might have mentioned
about not really owing alimony
696
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:26,000
to your imaginary wife and your
imaginary daughter not really going blind.
697
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:28,300
Touch�!
698
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:31,800
Everyone, this is Special Agent
Chester Hymes.
699
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:36,300
Well, can you beat this?
My friends with the bodies in the trunk.
700
00:59:38,100 --> 00:59:39,900
- What?
- It's an inside joke!
701
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,900
We ran into each other earlier.
How do you do?
702
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,900
- I'm ready.
- Charlie, can you look after Emmy.
703
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:50,200
You two follow us.
704
00:59:52,700 --> 00:59:55,600
- We're screwed!
- Not if we keep out story straight.
705
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:59,300
We had a few beers at Gus's place,
that's the end if it. Got it?
706
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:02,000
Got it.
707
01:00:02,300 --> 01:00:03,900
Gus...
708
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,500
- We're screwed!
- Oh, come on!
709
01:00:07,700 --> 01:00:10,500
Do you think Agent Hippo
is gonna figure out more
710
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:13,300
than where to find a really great buffet?
711
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:16,300
These abrasions on her knees
and elbows
712
01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:18,800
indicate a leap from a moving vehicle.
713
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:22,600
We can deduce that Mrs Smalls'
would-be killer
714
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:27,600
presupposed her already dead when
she was transported by automobile.
715
01:00:27,900 --> 01:00:31,500
Are you all right, Mr Dickinson?
716
01:00:31,700 --> 01:00:36,200
Er... yeah. This is the first dead body
for me, so...
717
01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:39,500
- And I drunk beers at my place.
- Yeah.
718
01:00:39,700 --> 01:00:43,200
Other than the axe wound,
which, judging from the angle of entry,
719
01:00:43,500 --> 01:00:46,900
came from a much shorter person,
possibly a female,
720
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:50,900
nothing here indicates
any sort of fisticuffs ever took place.
721
01:00:51,100 --> 01:00:56,400
I can safely say that Mrs Smalls'
murderer can be found...
722
01:00:56,900 --> 01:00:58,800
within this very room.
723
01:00:58,900 --> 01:01:01,600
- What?
- Oh! Just a figure of speech!
724
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:06,500
What I mean to say is her body
will tell me who her killer is
725
01:01:06,900 --> 01:01:09,500
after a more thorough examination.
726
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:13,300
However, I can hazard a name
right now.
727
01:01:13,500 --> 01:01:15,900
Please do.
728
01:01:16,100 --> 01:01:19,900
I'm sure it will come as no surprise
that her killer
729
01:01:20,300 --> 01:01:22,600
is none other than...
730
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,600
...the Oregon Undertaker.
731
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:30,700
Well, we all could have figured
that out, Agent Hymes.
732
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:33,200
Indeed.
733
01:02:07,900 --> 01:02:10,200
Everything's gonna be OK, sweetie.
734
01:02:19,100 --> 01:02:23,800
Hey! So, er... I guess
I'll take Emily home.
735
01:02:24,300 --> 01:02:26,300
Why don't you leave her here with me?
736
01:02:27,700 --> 01:02:30,800
- Yah, but I can easily...
- Goodnight.
737
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:37,200
Wait! You're not
going anywhere, little lady!
738
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,900
Not without your coat.
739
01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:53,100
- Would anyone care to say something?
- Just take me home.
740
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,900
No way! We've got a dead cop
to ditch first.
741
01:02:57,200 --> 01:03:01,100
I don't care about the cop. I don't
even care about the money anymore.
742
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:05,100
I just wanna go home
and pretend this never happened.
743
01:03:05,300 --> 01:03:08,700
Yeah, it hasn't exactly been
a run-of-the-mill night on the town.
744
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,500
All I wanted was to take care
of my family.
745
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:17,400
OK, Charlie, the sooner we dispose
of the deputy's body,
746
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:21,200
the sooner you can get started on your
pretend happily ever after.
747
01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:23,900
Now how does that sound?
748
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:27,700
'You've reached Stu Garmen.
Speak after the beep...'
749
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:29,600
Shit!
750
01:03:36,700 --> 01:03:40,600
Come on, sweetheart.
It's time to go home.
751
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,300
Oh, Charlie...
752
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,400
- You're sure he'll sink in there?
- Absolutely!
753
01:04:28,700 --> 01:04:30,700
- You've done this before?
- Never.
754
01:04:30,900 --> 01:04:34,400
Unrefined, unheated tar
has a viscosity grade of 250,000.
755
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:37,400
So what does that mean?
He won't sink?
756
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:42,100
He'll sink. It might take a week or so,
but he'll sink.
757
01:04:43,500 --> 01:04:46,900
Well... we better get started then.
758
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:07,100
Hold it!
759
01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:11,600
You followed us.
760
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:16,600
I figured it would be more expedient
than listening to bull pucky testimony.
761
01:05:17,100 --> 01:05:19,900
I guess I was right, just like always.
762
01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:22,100
- OK...
- Listen...
763
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:27,400
Agent Hymes, you let us go and there's
a million dollars with your name on it.
764
01:05:28,300 --> 01:05:31,800
You're offering a Federal agent
a bribe?
765
01:05:32,100 --> 01:05:34,500
- Yeah.
- Thanks, little lady.
766
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:39,500
Gus, come over here for a second,
would you?
767
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:45,100
Tell me I'm fat!
768
01:05:45,300 --> 01:05:47,700
I was joking!
769
01:05:47,900 --> 01:05:51,300
I wanna hear you tell the fat guy
how fat he is.
770
01:05:51,700 --> 01:05:54,200
I was kidding, all right?
771
01:05:55,100 --> 01:05:57,100
You might be a little on the heavy side
772
01:05:57,300 --> 01:06:00,100
but it's nothing that a few centuries
jogging can't fix!
773
01:06:00,300 --> 01:06:04,500
- Argh! Sonofabitch!
- I'm sorry, did that pinch?
774
01:06:04,800 --> 01:06:10,700
All right, the official version is that
Gus here attacked me during an arrest.
775
01:06:11,100 --> 01:06:15,000
- And I was defending myself...
- Stupid walrus... Argh!
776
01:06:15,300 --> 01:06:20,600
The official version is that Gus tripped
and fell on his face during the arrest.
777
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:26,100
Ok, there's two million dollars in a bag
in the car. It's all yours, just take it.
778
01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:30,000
Wow! Can you beat that?
One million just became two million.
779
01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:34,100
And people said this economy
would never bounce back!
780
01:06:34,300 --> 01:06:36,400
Argh!
781
01:06:40,700 --> 01:06:43,700
- Shoot him in the fucking eye!
- What? Shut up!
782
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:45,400
- Wait!
- Don't move!
783
01:06:47,400 --> 01:06:49,900
- I know who you are.
- What?
784
01:06:50,100 --> 01:06:55,700
I thought you looked familiar...
Fellas, your accomplice is Lucy Bloom,
785
01:06:56,000 --> 01:07:00,900
AKA Lucy McJoseph,
AKA Josie McBroom.
786
01:07:01,300 --> 01:07:05,300
- What are you talking about?
- You're the Wyoming Widow.
787
01:07:05,500 --> 01:07:07,200
What?
788
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:10,800
Gentlemen, the Wyoming Widow's
MO is always the same.
789
01:07:11,200 --> 01:07:16,400
She seduces an unsuspecting fellow,
she fornicates with him
790
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:19,100
and then she offers up
a little sip of whiskey.
791
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:23,600
The poor sucker never lives long enough
to realise that he also just drank
792
01:07:23,900 --> 01:07:26,200
highly concentrated thallium.
793
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:30,100
You've been watching too many
soap operas, Agent Hymes!
794
01:07:33,900 --> 01:07:36,200
You're not believing this crap, are you?
795
01:07:36,500 --> 01:07:40,800
They say that she always keeps
her trusty flask on her person,
796
01:07:41,100 --> 01:07:44,700
just in case the next bug
flies into her web.
797
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:50,100
Oh, come on! He's just making
this crap up to save his ass!
798
01:07:50,500 --> 01:07:55,400
I could have sworn I felt one inside
of her coat pocket back at the station.
799
01:07:58,500 --> 01:08:00,400
Empty your pockets, Josie.
800
01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:04,900
Charlie...
801
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:15,100
Holy shit!
802
01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:18,600
You planted this in my coat
back at the station, didn't you?
803
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:20,800
No, I didn't. I swear to God!
804
01:08:20,900 --> 01:08:22,700
This isn't mine.
805
01:08:22,900 --> 01:08:27,200
- He is lying. He is lying!
- Take a drink.
806
01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:31,900
- Oh...
- Take a sip, Josie.
807
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:42,700
There.
808
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:46,900
Are you ha...
809
01:08:47,100 --> 01:08:49,400
- Josie?
- Oh, my God!
810
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:53,200
Oh, God! Josie!
Come on, spit it out!
811
01:08:56,800 --> 01:09:00,000
- You are so pathetic!
- That was not funny.
812
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:08,100
You dumb shits! I told you he was just
trying to mess with us! Fuck! Fuck!
813
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:21,400
Jesus!
814
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:27,600
I think that belongs to Uncle Sam.
815
01:10:27,900 --> 01:10:30,800
Now hold on.
We're on the same side here, Chester.
816
01:10:33,700 --> 01:10:35,500
I'm an agent too.
817
01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:44,500
- When the hell did you take that off me?
- Back at the station.
818
01:10:46,500 --> 01:10:49,900
Listen, here's the thing, Gus -
819
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:53,100
there's a friend of mine,
an agent, one of the best.
820
01:10:53,300 --> 01:10:55,800
He's been protecting the innocent
a long time now.
821
01:10:56,100 --> 01:10:58,700
And, well...
822
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:01,400
he's gotten fed up
with working his ass off
823
01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:05,300
for ungrateful morons
who call him fatty.
824
01:11:06,700 --> 01:11:08,600
A pat on the back if things go right,
825
01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:11,600
or the stars and stripes on his coffin
if they don't.
826
01:11:11,900 --> 01:11:13,900
It just doesn't cut it anymore.
827
01:11:16,100 --> 01:11:17,900
I have two million here.
828
01:11:18,100 --> 01:11:20,800
Believe when I say
no one will ever claim it.
829
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:24,900
Tell your friend there's a million for him
and a million for me.
830
01:11:25,100 --> 01:11:29,300
What about two million for him
and nothing for you.
831
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:32,300
Oh, come on, Chetty!
We're partners here.
832
01:11:32,600 --> 01:11:36,400
You insult me, Gus.
You're not even a real criminal.
833
01:11:36,700 --> 01:11:39,100
You're just a small-time crook
834
01:11:39,300 --> 01:11:41,900
who got shot twice in the chest
resisting arrest.
835
01:11:43,200 --> 01:11:45,900
Listen, I have a daughter, Thais...
836
01:11:46,100 --> 01:11:50,400
Thais. That's Greek for 'Beloved'.
837
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:58,700
- You shot me.
- That's the first true thing you've said.
838
01:12:17,100 --> 01:12:19,300
What took you so long?
839
01:13:00,100 --> 01:13:01,900
Mummy...
840
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:06,000
It's all right, sweetheart.
Go back to sleep.
841
01:13:17,500 --> 01:13:20,500
Wait! You know I can't eat
this much sugar.
842
01:13:20,800 --> 01:13:23,300
You shouldn't do this.
843
01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:26,600
- Like you shouldn't have killed Gus.
- Keep eating.
844
01:13:28,900 --> 01:13:31,600
Gus was a backstabber.
845
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:35,200
He told me he was gonna kill you
and make off with the money.
846
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:41,000
That's why I killed him. I saved your life.
I'm telling you the truth!
847
01:13:41,300 --> 01:13:45,800
89.9 percent of all US Government
agents can beat a lie detector.
848
01:13:47,900 --> 01:13:50,800
Please... this isn't right, Charlie.
849
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,600
You know this isn't right.
850
01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:57,500
- Your wife is an officer of the law.
- Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
851
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:02,300
Oh, God.
852
01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:05,500
I don't wanna die!
853
01:14:05,700 --> 01:14:08,500
I don't wanna die...
854
01:14:08,800 --> 01:14:12,100
Please... Oh...
855
01:14:25,200 --> 01:14:28,400
- God, we really did it, huh?
- What?
856
01:14:28,700 --> 01:14:30,900
We really turned into monsters.
857
01:14:33,200 --> 01:14:34,700
Oh, Charlie...
858
01:14:39,200 --> 01:14:41,100
Oh, come on.
859
01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:44,000
I say it was worth it.
860
01:14:45,300 --> 01:14:48,300
Let's get the body in the car.
It's heavy enough to sink.
861
01:14:48,500 --> 01:14:50,900
Wait...
862
01:14:51,100 --> 01:14:53,900
There's still one passenger missing.
863
01:14:59,100 --> 01:15:03,400
You said you wanted to pretend
none of this ever happened...
864
01:15:05,100 --> 01:15:09,600
One sip of this... and you can kiss
all your worries goodbye.
865
01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:15,400
- The Wyoming Widow?
- Yeah.
866
01:15:17,700 --> 01:15:20,900
But I saw you drink it.
867
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:24,000
Never far from my trusty flasks!
868
01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:26,900
- Brilliant.
- Yeah!
869
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:31,100
After all, I was Miss Teen Wyoming.
870
01:15:32,300 --> 01:15:36,600
Now, Obviously I can't let you go
and risk having you report me
871
01:15:36,900 --> 01:15:41,600
and, fuck, two million does sound
a heck of a lot nicer than one million!
872
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:45,700
- You were right, Penny.
- What's that?
873
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:49,900
Penelope always said money
won't make you rich, I just...
874
01:15:50,100 --> 01:15:52,600
I just didn't believe her.
875
01:15:54,200 --> 01:15:57,700
You do seem like
a genuinely decent guy, Charlie.
876
01:15:57,900 --> 01:16:01,600
- I'm real sorry I gotta do this.
- You don't have a choice, do you?
877
01:16:01,900 --> 01:16:04,500
No, I don't. But you do.
878
01:16:04,700 --> 01:16:08,800
You want me to shoot you
or you want to go for the whiskey?
879
01:16:12,200 --> 01:16:14,200
What did Hymes say you used?
880
01:16:14,400 --> 01:16:17,800
Concentrated thallium.
Much quicker than cyanide.
881
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:27,100
Any last words, Charlie?
882
01:16:30,200 --> 01:16:32,100
Don't spend it all at one place.
883
01:16:33,700 --> 01:16:35,500
What?
884
01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:50,600
What? What?
885
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,800
What?
886
01:16:55,900 --> 01:16:59,600
No! Oh!
887
01:16:59,900 --> 01:17:02,600
What the fuck?
888
01:17:02,900 --> 01:17:07,400
Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Fuck!
889
01:17:34,900 --> 01:17:38,900
'Charlie, Penelope
and Emily can't come to the phone.
890
01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:41,600
'Please leave us a message.'
891
01:17:41,900 --> 01:17:45,300
'This is a message for Charlie
Wood. My name is Samuel Koenig,
892
01:17:45,700 --> 01:17:49,400
'I'm Senior VP of Barstow Publishing
Self Help Division here in Seattle.
893
01:17:49,700 --> 01:17:52,700
'Listen, I'm calling in regards
to this book you sent us,
894
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,500
"'Build A Better Brain
And Beat The Big Nothing. "
895
01:17:55,700 --> 01:17:57,700
'It seems to me like it's a no-brainer!
896
01:17:57,900 --> 01:18:00,300
'Seriously, though,
we have an offer for you.
897
01:18:00,500 --> 01:18:02,600
'We think you'll be happy with it.
898
01:18:02,900 --> 01:18:05,900
'Please call me back
at your earliest convenience...'
899
01:19:09,300 --> 01:19:11,500
- Hi.
- Hi. Where you headed?
900
01:19:11,700 --> 01:19:15,600
- As far away from here as possible.
- That one we could do for you.
901
01:19:17,400 --> 01:19:20,200
This must be my lucky day.
902
01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:26,400
Er... let me just double-check
something.
903
01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:46,600
- All set.
- All righty!
904
01:20:46,900 --> 01:20:48,900
And... action.
905
01:20:52,500 --> 01:20:54,500
Again.
906
01:20:56,700 --> 01:20:58,700
Again.
907
01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:03,400
And... again.
908
01:21:03,600 --> 01:21:05,600
- Hi!
- Ah!
909
01:21:07,800 --> 01:21:09,800
Thank you.
910
01:25:03,800 --> 01:25:05,800
I got him!
73830
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