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The Bigfoot Club
is brought to you in part

by Red Alert Soda, the Corporation
for Public Broadcasting,

the John T. Valentine Foundation,

and by totally awesome
public television viewers

like you and me.

Okay, team, here's what
happened on the last episode.

Grab a notebook and your
official orange gel pen

and follow along.

First, Willow spotted a
footprint in the park.

And look, a clump of loose hair.

Next, they brought
the hair to Einstein's lab

for analysis.

It's from an unknown animal species.

Then Breezy tried to create

a psychic connection with the creature.

Bigfoot, Bigfoot, where are you?

And Dorothy came up

with her most amazing idea ever.

I invented this device.

I call it the Bigfoot Finder 1000.

Look, it's beeping.

That means Bigfoot is close.

Keep watching to
find out what happens next.

Do you believe in monsters?

I believe in the Jersey Devil.

I believe in the Mothman.

I believe in the Loch Ness monster.

I believe in Bigfoot.

That's how we got the name.

Bigfoot Club.

We're trying to prove

the world's most
legendary creatures exist.

We're friends, but also rivals.

Because we all wanna
find our monster first.

It's gonna be me
because I care the most.

♪ Happy birthday ♪
- Stop.

♪ Happy Birthday ♪
- No, I said stop.

- I already lit the candles.
- Why?

- It's your birthday.
- How do you know?

- Whose birthday is it?
- Dot's.

- Who's Dot?
- That girl over there.

- Is she new?
- I don't think so.

♪ Happy Birthday. ♪
- Stop, please.

Stop singing.

- It's somebody's birthday.
- Yeah, Dot's.

Who's Dot?

This girl
that hates birthdays.

I don't hate birthdays.

I just hate my own birthday.
- Angie baked you cupcakes

out of the goodness of her own big heart.

- So ungrateful.
- I'm not ungrateful.

You sound ungrateful.

I just don't like being
the center of attention.

That explains
why no one knows her name.

If she doesn't
want them, can we eat them?

No, not until we sing.

Please don't sing.

Angie's not
gonna let us have cupcakes

until we sing.
- It's Angie's one rule.

Come on, let us sing

Fine, sing.

♪ Happy birth ♪

- Oh, sorry.
- No, no, no.

Why? It's my fault.

You know, you look so familiar.

Do I know you?

No, I'm nobody.

Good night.

What mysteries
do we think our great planet

still has to offer us?

If you listen to conventional
scientific wisdom,

you'll hear there's nothing out there.

Happy Birthday, Dot.

Thanks, Patty.

- Oh, you mean reincarnation?
- Yeah, yeah, that's it.

There are no more
myths or marvels or monsters

roaming the forests or
the skies or the seas.

We're all alone here.

But what would happen if we didn't accept

conventional wisdom?

It's going to support
a larger body weight.

If we looked a little closer

and really opened up to what
lies beyond the known world,

what then would we find?

Dorothy March?

Oh my God, it's you, isn't it?

It's really you.

No, wait, you can't go.

Don't you realize? You're my hero.

You're the most famous
person that's ever lived

and I finally found you.

Hello, I'm Dr. Peter Greenport,

and tonight I'll be
bringing you the true story

of the Bigfoot Club.

The Bigfoot Club,

starring Dorothy March, Willow Fernandez,

Maggie Breezemopolis,
and Einstein Funnicello.

With special guest stars,

Esme and Dr. Peter Greenport.

The Bigfoot Club.

Do you believe
in monsters? Breezy does.

Visit-
- It was as though

as though for a time I didn't exist,

as though I had no place in the world.

What is cryptozoology?

Find out in the new
Encyclopedia America series,

"Monsters, Myths, and Legends."

Sasquatch, Yeti, the Abominable Snowman.

For nearly a thousand years,

people throughout the world
have reported sightings

of a large bipedal creature.

He goes by many names,
but so far, this Bigfoot,

has eluded real capture.

To the skeptics, he's a myth.

To the believers, he's still
out there waiting to be found.

Our story begins with one such believer.

Her name was-
- Dorothy March.

That's who you are.

I don't know why you
think I'm that person,

but I'm most certainly not that person.

See?

Patty Katz?

I get it, it's a pseudonym.

You know, a fake name.

I know the definition of pseudonym.

Because you always adopt orange cats

and you always name them Patty

after the Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot.

You know, the Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot.

It's a really good impression actually.

Everyone told me I was
crazy to go looking for you.

Well, except they.

- They?
- Boyfriend.

Why don't you just say boyfriend?

But I knew this plan would work.

- What plan?
- I put up those flyers.

I set up this whole convention.

I came all the way to Queens to find clues

about the whereabouts of my
childhood hero, Dorothy March.

And instead, I find the Dorothy March.

Why would you be
looking for that person?

Don't you know? Everyone is.

- Everyone?
- Everyone that listens

to Willow Fernandez's podcast anyway?

Did you say Willow Fernandez?

Yeah.

A few weeks ago, she asked
her fans to find you.

And I'm the fan that did.

Did I tell you my name?

I'm Esme.

I'm Patty Katz.

We already established
that's a pseudonym.

You know, a fake name.

Again, I know the
definition of pseudonym.

You should come up on stage.

Yeah, you could do a Q&A

with everyone.
- No, I'm sorry, you're wrong.

I'm not Dorothy March and I have to go.

Wait, don't you wanna know
why Willow's looking for you?

Listen to her podcast.

It's important.

It was the summer of 1997

and New York City suddenly
became the epicenter

of cryptid craze.

That's what inspired a latchkey
kid named Dorothy March

to start the Bigfoot Club
out of her Queen's apartment.

Her website developed a
small but dedicated fan base.

One fan was a fellow sixth grader

named Willow Fernandez.

Willow Fernandez, that's me.

Hi, I'm Dorothy March.

I know, I'm your biggest fan.

I'm came all the way from
Brooklyn just to find you.

Why?

Your research has inspired me.

Now, I'm looking for my favorite monster,

the Loch Ness Monster.

Here, check this out.

Wow, you're the first
person I've ever met

that cares about this stuff.

There are more kids
out there just like us.

There are?

Yeah, they're spread through
all the other boroughs.

And together, we're gonna build something.

You mean a team?

No, a franchise.

With Willow's help,

Dorothy expanded her reach
from the Bigfoot Club in Queens

to the Loch Ness Monster Club in Brooklyn

to the Mothman Club in the Bronx.

Headed by-
- Maggie Breezemopolis.

Everyone calls me Breezy.

I'm the master of the dark arts.

You're on the team.

Here, have a hat.

I only wear black.

Well, now you wear yellow.

And finally, the Jersey
Devil Club in Staten Island

run by a fourth grader
named Einstein Funnicello.

I'm the smartest in Staten Island.

Hey, wanna see my collection
of bugs and worms?

- Gross.
- Just put on the hat.

Thanks to
Willow's promotional skills,

their online following grew.

They appeared in magazines, on talk shows.

Do you believe in monsters?

Watch the Bigfoot Club Sunday's at 6:30.

Only on SPTV.

They even
sold their life story

to Canadian Public Television

for the fictionalized
"Bigfoot Club" TV series,

which we've been playing scenes
from during this broadcast.

Bigfoot Club, scene four, take one.

Starring local child actors,

it lasted for only six episodes.

You see, just at the height
of the Bigfoot Club's fame,

the team broke up.

Why?

Well, it may have something to do

with this device, the Bigfoot Finder 1000.

Hello, I'm Willow Fernandez,

and this is "Beyond the Beyond."

On today's episode,

we'll do a four-hour deep dive
on the legend of the Hodag.

They call him Champy, the aquatic dinosaur

that stalks Lake Champlain.

I have four words for you,

Honey Island swamp monster.

Now, the greatest mystery of all.

What happened to the mysterious creature

known as Dorothy March?

I last saw her almost 20 years ago.

Since then, she has seemingly disappeared

off the face of the earth.

My team of researchers have looked for her

and found no trace.

Now, I'm asking you to
join me in the hunt.

Why?

Because there's been a new development

in our search for Bigfoot
and we need Dorothy's help.

Dorothy.
- Dorothy.

- Are you out there?
- Dorothy,

- Dorothy.
- Dorothy.

Dorothy.

Do you remember this device?

What happened when you activated it?

Who are you?

What happened?

Dorothy?

Dorothy.
- Dorothy March.

Hello, this is Robert Nesmith
of the Monster Squad Pod

and I have just spotted the Dorothy March.

What does your future hold?

I'm psychic Cleopatra DeQueiroz,
and I can see the answers.

Ah!

It's the scariest ride ever,

the Loch Ness Monster.

New adventures of Bigfoot
Club premiering Monday.

Zoology entered the
English language via Latin,

but the root zoo came from
the ancient Greek word zoon.

Cryptozoology, pseudoscience
or legitimate science?

You decide.

Call the-

Hey, thanks for calling me

and for letting me buy you pizza.

I can pay for it.

In fact, I'd rather pay for it.

No, please.

It would be an honor to
buy dinner for my hero.

- Please don't call me that.
- It's true.

- Just take the money.
- No, I can't.

Well, I can't either, so
it's just gonna sit there.

Okay.

So you are her?

Because earlier you said you weren't.

I am her.

And the reason I called you-
- First, can I just say

that I have been waiting
for this moment since...

you eat your pizza crust first?

Yeah.

Why? How do you eat it?

Pointy part first.

So why did you call?

Do you wanna be on my podcast?

No.

What is it with you and everyone
in these stupid podcasts?

Does every human interaction

have to be recorded and monetized?

Well, that's funny because, nevermind.

What?

Well, you basically invented
monetizing this stuff.

I mean, the officially
licensed Bigfoot Club.

Hats, pens, T-shirts.

Weren't you sponsored by Red Alert Soda?

The Bigfoot
Club is brought to you in part

by Red Alert Soda.

That was all Willow's idea.

She just cared about being famous.

I just like the science.

Is that why you two stopped talking?

No.

- Then why?
- I don't know.

Do you still talk to your
friends from when you were 12?

Of course.

Look, I called you
because I need your help.

I was at work when all
these people showed up

and started pointing at me,

and now they won't leave me alone.

They're standing outside my apartment

and calling my home telephone number.

Why?

Since you've reemerged,
people are looking for answers.

Reemerged?

I just went to that one convention.

And people saw you.

You saw me.

- Your fans are curious.
- My what?

They have 20 years of questions.

What kind of questions?

First, where have you
been all these years

before you went back to Queens?

Because there are a lot
of theories on Reddit.

What's Reddit?

A website where people talk.

- About me?
- Not just about you.

One theory is that you went to Australia.

Another is that you moved to Canada.

Someone even spotted you
at a Circle K in Alaska.

Is that you?

Well, I mean, it looks-

Also, some people think you're dead.

Dead?

Is Dorothy
March still alive?

Call our hotline and vote.

If you're under 18, get
your parents' permission.

However, most people just think

that you disappeared into
the Pacific Northwest.

Why would I do that?

To live amongst the Bigfeet.

Bigfoot?

Amateur search there.

I knew where he really was.

He was here, wasn't he? In Queens?

What happened when you
activated the BFF 1000?

Why does it matter?

Because I'm just like you.

I've spent my whole life dreaming

that there's something else out there.

Is there?

No, there's nothing.

I looked.

So if I were you, I
would just give up now.

So if I go on your podcast

and answer your questions,
will people leave me alone?

Well, no.

You need a bigger platform,

one that reaches a lot
of people in the BFC.

- What's the BFC?
- Bigfoot community.

Why don't you just
say Bigfoot community?

I shorten it to save time.

Do you feel like you're saving time now?

No. Now, I feel like I'm wasting time.

Okay.

Just a really big show
that a lot of people watch

like Regis and Kathie Lee?

Hmm, more like Willow
Fernandez's podcast.

- No.
- She's your best friend.

You mean worst enemy?

She has hundreds of
thousands of subscribers

that are all wondering where you've been.

If I tell them the truth,
will they leave me alone?

Yeah, I think so.

Fine, I'll do it.

Okay.

Yes, okay.

I will call Willow's producer right now.

I have her contact info.

How did you get that?

Well, when I reported
to "Beyond the Beyond"

that I knew your location-
- Wait,

you're the reason why all these weirdos

know where I am?

You know what? You can
pay for my dinner now.

Why are you smiling like that?

It's just I get to buy dinner

for someone who's on my Mount
Rushmore of personal heroes.

Things are looking up for you, Esme.

So this is where the Bigfoot club began.

Where's Patty?

Uh, she hides whenever people come over.

Do a lot of people come over?

Not really.

Is this your original computer?

Yeah, I doubt it works anymore.

No one's used it since my mom died.

Sorry, I didn't know.

Can we just call Willow already?

Yeah, let me just text
back my bae real quickly.

He's been asking me so
many questions about you.

He's been texting all night.

What's your bae's name?

Davey, he's the best.

He wears these cute
little button up shirts

that he buys at the thrift store

like a little professional baby.

Sorry.

I just really like him.

He believes in me.

And that's all you need.

One person who really believes in you.

I don't have that.

Sure you do.

You have me.

- How'd you meet Davey?
- At a coffee shop on campus.

We locked eyes when we were
both ordering the same drink,

a pumpkin kiwi mocha.

And he just walked up to
you and asked you on a date?

I asked him actually.

So if I liked someone, I could do that?

Why? Is there someone you like?

No.

Anyway, let's call.

Uh, hello? It's Esme.

I'm here with Dot, I mean Dorothy March.

Yeah.

Willow wants to talk to her?

Okay.

Hello? Willow Fernandez?

I am such a fan.

Can I just say, yes,
Dorothy is right here.

She wants to talk to you.

Tell her I can't talk right now.

She says she can't talk right now.

No, don't tell her I said it.

I wasn't supposed to say she said it.

Okay, I'll let her know.

She wants you to come over tomorrow.

To her apartment in Brooklyn?

She doesn't live in Brooklyn anymore.

She lives in Connecticut.

But that's so far.

It's an hour outside of the city.

She'll pay for your Uber.

My what?

You'll record the
episode in her home studio.

Would that be okay?

She said yes.

Oh, okay.

Oh, this is so exciting.

Bye.

You're all set.

They'll pick you up at
nine o'clock tomorrow.

- Hey, Esme?
- Yeah?

Will you come with me?

Should we have knocked?

She said we can just come in.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Oh my God, Willow Fernandez.

I'm in Willow Fernandez's house.

This is Esme.

Esme?

The one you talked to on the phone.

Oh, right, that Esme.

I met you once.

Oh, well, saw you twice,

met you once at BAM.

You were doing a live podcast.

- I remember.
- Me?

- The podcast.
- Right, of course.

Yeah, of course.

We took a selfie.

It's my profile picture on everything.

I also met Breezy once and
I've even met Einstein.

So you're collecting
us like action figures.

Or Funko Pops.

I actually have Bigfoot Club Funko Pops.

Ugh.

You know, I told myself on the drive over

that I wouldn't mention the
custom Funko Pops I bought Etsy

and here I am mentioning
the custom Funko Pops

I bought on Etsy.

It's okay.

Anyway, I'll let you two talk

and like totally not eavesdrop at all.

But you can hang out in our guest room.

First door on your left.

Is that what you'll be
wearing on the show?

Yes.

Why, is it bad?

I'm sure it'll be fine.

I thought that podcasts
were an audio medium.

Yeah, no, they are.

It's just that I'll be live streaming

for my Patreon subscribers
at the $30 level.

We'll be on video.

So people will be able to see me?

Hey, this is the real you

and the truth is important
to people like us,

science people.

Right.

Can I get you something to eat or drink?

Do you have any pizza pockets

or Hi-C Flashin' Fruit Punch?

- I don't.
- Then nothing.

How was your drive up here?

One hour and 17 minutes.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you ask how or how long?

My husband and I actually
bought this house last year.

You're married?

Is that a big ring? I don't
know anything about rings.

I wish you could meet
him, but he's not home.

He never is.

I mean, neither am I.

I've been so busy with "Beyond
the Beyond" on the road.

Live podcasts in 12
cities across the country.

Have you had a chance
to listen to the show?

I have.

- What do you think?
- It's fine.

Which episode did you listen to?

Because we were still finding
our way in those older ones.

You should listen to
one of our newer ones.

I did listen to the newer ones.

Hey, so you said there's
been a new development?

Yes.

What is it?

You're never gonna believe
this, but you know what?

We should save this, the
conversation, for the podcast.

Right.

Shall we get started?

Oh, I have to do an ad break

after the first 15 minutes

and then every 20 minutes after that.

Okay.

Hey, you aren't gonna
make fun of me, right?

I mean, I'll do the show
because I said I would,

but you have to promise
you won't make fun of me.

I won't.

You promise?

I won't.

Come on.

Can you give me a level?

My name is Dot March.

My home phone number is 718-
- We got it.

I'll count us down in three, two...

Hello, and welcome to
a very special episode

of "Beyond the Beyond."

I'm Willow Fernandez,
and this is the big one.

I am pleased to introduce my guest,

a true legend in cryptozoology,

and my inspiration for
getting into the field.

Her name is Dorothy March.

Hi.

Now, as you can imagine,

our listeners have a lot of questions.

But first, I wanna go
back to the beginning.

You're a kid in Queens

and you decide to start the Bigfoot Club.

Why?

I thought you wanted to talk about like

where I've been in Circle
K and Alaska and stuff.

Yes, but I want to know your story,

how you became the world's
most famous Bigfoot researcher

at just 12 years old.

Well, my mom worked,
so I was by myself a lot.

And your dad, was he in the picture?

You know he wasn't.

But our listeners don't.

I'm trying to paint a picture here.

How did that make you feel?

Answer her question.

How did it make you feel?

You're not real.

You're just in my head.

You must have hosted some
show I watched as a kid,

unsolved mysteries in search of-

Answer her question.

- I felt alone.
- Different.

Different.

Different how?

Nobody liked me.

Not kids, not teachers.

They all thought I was weird.

And then I started reading stories

about cryptid sightings in
the boroughs and I thought,

"If I could find one Bigfoot,

then maybe people would care."

About you?

About Bigfoot.

Your research was next level,

but you were almost entirely
unknown until I found you.

Do you remember when we first met?

Willow Fernandez, that's me.

Hi, I'm Dorothy March.

Really? That's how you remember it?

Bigfoot Club.

We became friends.

And you suggested that we expand

to the Loch Ness Monster Club.

And then I found Maggie or Breezy.

She was obsessed with Mothman.

A little too obsessed,
like she wanted to marry him.

Oh my gosh.

I remember you saying that.

That's so bad.

And then this fourth
grader, Einstein Funnicello.

The Jersey Devil Club.

Smartest kid in Staten Island.

That's not saying much.

- That was my joke.
- No, that was mine.

But then when we were
15, you disappeared.

Of course, the most widely accepted theory

is that you moved to the Pacific Northwest

to live amongst the Bigfoot.

- Bigfeet.
- Is it true?

- No.
- Where did you go?

I never left Queens.

But people said there
were sightings of you

in Alaska and Canada.

I've always been in the same apartment.

You never thought to look for me there?

I just, well, I had assumed

you had continued your research.

You were the best.

Why would you give up?

Because I realized the truth.

There's nothing out there.

Dorothy, stop.

What?

You cannot come onto
my show and do that.

- Do what?
- Lie.

I'm not lying.

Do you remember this?

The BFF 1000, how it
looked in real life.

You're starting to remember.

- How'd you get that?
- I found it.

- You stole it.
- You threw it away.

- I want it back.
- First, tell me what it does.

It recreates the entire Bigfoot language

amplified on a frequency
that only they can hear.

Like a dog whistle?

You make it sound so simple.

What happened when you activated it?

Nothing because Bigfoot is not real.

Dorothy.

I mean, in all these years,
no one's even found a body.

Wait-

We're talking about a
seven foot tall creature

that walks upright.
- I need to interject here.

No.

I've been keeping a
secret of yours for years.

Years and I can't keep it any longer.

It wasn't like it was on the TV show.

We did not all go into the woods with you.

You went alone.

When you came back, what did you say?

You said that you
would not make fun of me.

You stood right out there and promised.

You're going to have to
talk about it, Dorothy.

You can't keep lying.

- She's calling me a liar.
- Then stop lying.

- Stop lying.
- Okay.

Okay.

When I activated the device,

he showed up.

- Bigfoot?
- Yes.

You saw him?

I think so.

What did he look like?

What did you say to him?

Is that why you quit?

Because you thought no
one would believe you?

After I found him, I thought that

I would feel different about myself.

But when I looked in the
mirror the next morning,

I was still me.

You thought that finding
Bigfoot would change you,

would make you feel better about yourself?

Make me like me.

And it didn't.

No.

Why did you come here today, Dot?

Esme said if I did, then
people would leave me alone.

Why did you really come here?

I listened to your podcast.

You said that you found new evidence.

I need to know what it is.

And you will find out.

But first, let me just
take a moment to say

our sponsor is Hire Today.

Are you struggling to
find the right employee

for your small business?

Hire Today is for you.

Dorothy, wait.

Hey, I was watching the live stream.

I'm sorry, I did not know

she was gonna corner you like that.

So you really saw Bigfoot?

Because earlier you said
there was nothing out there.

What difference does it make?

I wanna meet him too.

I saw my monster because
I dedicated my life

to finding him.

I made sacrifices.
- I can do that.

Please, you're too
busy texting your bae.

You don't care as much as I do.

You're just like Willow.

I liked you better
when you were missing.

The Uber's still waiting.

You take it.

I'll find my own way home.

Takes a lot of
willpower to make Dunkin' Donuts

fresh day and night.

- But we think it's worth it.
- But we think it's worth it.

Look for Dunkin' Donuts
money-saving coupon

in your local newspaper.

Do you believe in monsters?

Breezy does.

Be a master of the dark
arts just like her.

Visit Breezy's Occult today

with locations across all five boroughs

except Staten Island.

Who is it?

The ghost of Christmas past.

Come on, open up

Dorothy March, you are
a vision and orange.

Breezy?

It's the hair, right?

It's changed since we were kids.

You're really here.

Indeed I am.

I was listening to Willow's podcast.

What's going on in this room?

What do you mean?

It feels like someone died in here.

Well, my mom did in fact
die in here three years ago.

That's the energy I'm picking up on.

Where are your candles?

I don't have any candles.

Oh, don't worry, I always bring some.

I can't possibly stay
here with this death aura.

You're planning on staying?

But I haven't seen you in like 20 years.

And yet our psychic
connection never faded.

See, I always knew that you
were safe wherever you were.

I was here.

Well, I couldn't see that.

And what about you?

Are you still in the Bronx?

Did you really just ask me that?

Well, how am I supposed to know?

Because I run the most successful chain

of occult stores in the tri-state area.

The Village Voice said
that I was single handedly

responsible for bringing
witchcraft back to New York.

I think I just saw your commercial.

See? Psychic connection.

Face it, March.

There's something
supernatural going on here.

Ooh, do you have anything to drink?

Yoo-Hoo.

That's fine, I brought my own.

- How big is your purse?
- You wanna find out?

Have some.

Um, I'm okay.

Shut up.

So you really did see Bigfoot.

Ugh, whoo.

Except you told Willow
and you didn't tell me.

Well, she was my best friend.

She was your worst enemy.

Sometimes people can be the same thing.

- Did you tell Einstein?
- No, of course not.

I didn't tell anyone else besides her.

At least there's that.

So is that why you're here?

To talk to me about Bigfoot
for your podcast or something?

Don't frigging insult me.

I don't have a frigging podcast.

I'm here because I am a creature

of insatiable curiosity

and I never do satiate it with Mothman.

It's fine, I invited him.

No one's here.

Look more

Still no one.

Look weirder.

Who is that?

I'm the
smartest kid in Stand Island.

Einstein Funnicello.

Are you gonna stand there
or are you gonna come in?

- Stand here.
- Come in.

- Stand here.
- Just come in.

Tell her what you know.

So you know that team of researchers

that Willow's always talking about?

It me.

Is that supposed to impress her?

Because it impresses no one.

Well, when Willow asked me
to find her five months ago,

I did.

She knew I was here?

I told her that you were here

working at the Queens
Public Library in Queens

ever since you graduated
from Queens College,

which is also in Queens.

So why didn't she just find me?

Sure, she has reasons.

She just wanted to exploit me

so that she could sell
more Fruit by the Foot

and Dunkaroos.

She doesn't currently
advertise any of those products.

She's the worst person I've ever met.

Oh, come on, she's not that bad.

Einstein just said she
didn't care about the science.

So?

She didn't have to because you did.

Willow had one skill, which
is to get our name out there

and she's still doing that.

Well, she's like

impossible to deal with.

Really?

And how many people
are you estranged from?

Not that many.

Your friends?

Okay, all of them.

Your dad?

Well, I never even met him.

Okay, your mom.

- She died.
- Still estranged.

- What's your point?
- My point is, yes,

okay, Willow is a shit.

But did you ever think that
maybe you're a shit too?

Wait, so you actually saw Bigfoot?

Heard him, smelled him?

Why does your weird little
mind always go break to smells?

What did he look like?

Well, he was tall.

Well, I would hope so.

And he was about our age

and he had eyes the color of Earth.

When he looked at me,

they were so incredibly kind.

- Oh my God.
- What?

I can't believe I didn't
pick up on this earlier.

What?

You and Willow always made fun of me

because I wanted to marry Mothman.

Wait, you actually wanted to marry him?

But in reality, you've
had the hots for Bigfoot

this entire time.

Anyway, I only saw him that one time.

He got scared off by a passing G27 bus

and he disappeared.

Did you ever use the device again?

I wasn't ready for him.

Are you ready now?

Hi.

Can I come in?
- Yes.

- No.
- Dorothy.

I just wanted you to know
that I was really excited

to talk to you.

You can ask anyone.

My husband, my parents, even Einstein.

You're practically all she talked about.

I've looked up to you since I was 12.

So I got nervous.

It was disgusting.

There's so much history between us.

You were my best friend.
- And worst enemy.

Wait, worst enemy?

You thought that? I never thought that.

I thought we were friends.

Breezy said it.

Well, yeah, throw me under the B27 bus.

Well, that's why I got defensive.

I thought you'd shut me
out like you always do.

- I don't do that.
- Oh, please.

You were the one who stopped
talking to all three of us.

Why? What did we do wrong?

Was it because I ate Patty's cat food?

Because I have a perfectly
logical explanation for that.

It looked delicious.

No.

It's because the Bigfoot Club was my life.

It was our lives too.

And just when people finally
started to care about us-

- It.
- Us, you quit

and we all had to find
a way to keep it going.

- For the fame.
- Yes,

but also for the science.

That's not true.

Did you ever see the Loch Ness Monster

or you Mothman or you the Jersey Devil?

No, because you didn't care like I did.

Oh, piss into the oblivion.

Really Dot?

I love lake monsters.

You know I love lake monsters.

You think I didn't wanna
see the Jersey Devil?

He's got wings and a tail.

Wings and a tail.

You never believed in any of us,

but we always believed in you.

You threw the BFF 1000 into a dumpster.

We dug it out.

We maintained it for years.

Technically, I did the maintenance.

And just last month,
it started making sounds.

Here, listen.

No, don't push that button.

Listen to what we found.

When did you put that hat on?

This could be the scientific
discovery of the century.

Einstein?

I sense that it's the real deal.

Guys, something's wrong.

You're sick?

Say aah.

No, it isn't that.

Listen, Dorothy, do you hear it?

Yeah, yes.

- What's it saying?
- Shh, she's concentrating.

Hello, Dorothy.

- What is that?
- More like who is that?

- It's the-
- I know,

the Loch Ness monster.

No, butt-burger, it's
not the Loch Ness monster.

It's-
- Bigfoot.

Really?

I think so.

Let me listen closer.

This is what you meant by closer.

Be quiet, pea-brain.

This is how Dorothy thinks.

Oh, kiss my ass, Breezemopolis.

Willow, I can't tell what's
real and what's not anymore.

- What did she say?
- Mind your beeswax, will you?

- Willow, please.
- Dorothy.

There's that voice again.

What is it, Dorothy?

I think that's the voice
I heard when we were kids

except deeper, older.

And closer too, right?

Like really, really, really,
really, really, really,

really, really-
- Shh, she gets it.

Close.

Why did he come back?

Don't you realize?

Don't you know?

He wants to see you again, Dorothy.

Oh.

But I mean, what if-

Let me guess.

What if you feel the same way
as you felt the first time?

If getting everything you ever wanted

isn't actually a cure all
for all of your problems

and it makes you realize how
alone you have been and are?

Yes.

Actually, exactly that.

Well, deal with it

because success makes
all of us feel that way.

I think I wanna see him again.

Can we come with you?

This whole time, we never
got to see our monsters.

At the very least, maybe we can see yours.

There's someone else
we should invite first.

Hey.

Hi.

So I said some really mean things.

- Oh, it's okay.
- No, it's not.

I'm not very good at making friends

and I'm even worse at keeping them.

Well, I think that's because you're-

The point is I'm trying to be better.

Thank you for still
being a fan of my work.

I think it's really cool actually.

I wish you could tell that to Davey.

He thinks I'm crazy for moving out here.

Wait, you moved here?

From the Pacific
Northwest, ironically enough.

That's where I grew up.

Did you ask Davey to come with you?

He has a life back in Oregon.

His family, his friends, his career.

So you don't have those things.

I actually do.

I was in my final year at Oregon State

and then Davey proposed.

What did you say?

I told him no.

I had to leave to pursue my dreams.

But Davey still believes in you, right?

That doesn't last forever.

Come on, I wanna show you something.

The Bigfoot Club all in one place,

Is that and is it-

He's here.

Do you wanna go see him?

The Bigfoot Club were convinced

they'd found their monster.

So they waited.

But as time passed,
there was no sign of him.

After five hours of waiting
the cold, they grew restless.

Breezy had her assistant pick her up

and drive her back to the Bronx.

Einstein took a yellow cab
all the way to Staten Island.

As for Dot, Willow, and Esme,

they waited until just before dawn.

Then they gave up.

Is she going to be okay?

I think so.

I should probably head home.

- Brooklyn?
- No.

Dorothy, you've been to my house.

Oh right, sorry.

Wait,

you know, I did look
for you all these years.

This was the one place
I didn't wanna check.

Why not?

You were my hero.

If you gave up on your search,

what hope did the rest of us have?

Anyway, have a good night.

You told me Bigfoot would show up.

- I know
- I needed him to show up.

Well, what do you expect me to do?

You can't just call him
over like some stupid dog.

I like dogs.

It's just that he's a
creature with feelings.

Dogs have feelings.

I didn't say dogs don't have feelings.

He had kind eyes,
the color of the earth.

Who told you I said that? Einstein?

And he was oh, so gentle.

I don't sound like that.

How do you know what you sound like?

The bone conduction in your head

makes your voice sound different.

You're explaining bone conduction to me?

Yes.

Look, clearly you are exhausted.

Why don't you just stay the night?

You can sleep in my bed.

I don't wanna take your bed.

It's fine.

I usually sleep on the
couch with Patty anyways.

I'll just rest my eyes for a minute.

But I'm not even that tired.

Do you feel like you let her down?

I don't wanna talk to you.

Well, then call your friends.

Or did you push them away again?

Of course, I feel like I let her down.

She gave up her whole life

because she thought I could
help her find her monster.

Maybe she did find her monster.

Willow? Did you forget something?

Hello?

What are you doing here?

You sent out that signal.

I heard it.

What do you mean?

That signal was meant for...

Oh, you are him.

Bigfoot.

Oh, no one's ever called
me that name before.

Well, maybe not to your face.

I saw you when I was 15, right?

Yeah. I'm sorry I ran away that night.

I understood.

You looked scared.

I was scared for you.

Is this your dwelling?

Yeah, yeah.

Are all those people
you were with still here?

No, they're gone except Esme.

She's asleep.

So it's just us.

Good.

Hey, when we first met,

you looked different.

For a while, I thought I imagined it.

Now, I wonder if I did see it.

You did.

Can you show me?

It's simple really.

Is this enough?

Can I change back now?

How do you do that?

Oh, it's my natural form.

My father said we developed this one

so that we could hide from people

because people wanna hurt us.

I guess he was right.

Oh, what happened?

I don't know.

Something big and yellow hit me

while I was crossing the street.

- A taxi?
- I don't know what it was.

Here, sit down on the couch.

I can help you.

I can't believe you're here.

I spent so much time thinking about you.

Can I make a confession?

Ever since we met that night,

I've been thinking about you too.

Really?

Yeah.

My mom and dad said I was going crazy.

You were all I talked about for a while.

I knew I had to come back to this place

and I remember the area,

the noises, the smells.

Um, can you lift up your shirt?

Shirt?

Oh.

This is gonna sting.

It didn't sting?

What does that liquid do?

It disinfects the wound

so that you don't get sick.

Can I keep it when you're done?

Of course.

You know, I thought
that might've been you

that day at the place with
the the boxes and the meats.

- Oh, it's called a deli.
- Oh.

I thought I recognized your eyes.

You remembered my eyes?

I haven't stopped remembering your eyes.

I remembered yours.

But you look different now.

Well, so do you.

Did I say something wrong?

It's just we were kids then.

It was a long time ago.

We've both gotten older.

How old are you now anyways?

I don't understand the question.

Oh, well, out here we mark life in time.

Days, months, years.

How do you mark life out there?

Oh.

There are two pillars,

birth and then death.

That's it?

There has to be more to life

than just those two pillars.

- Does there?
- Yes, of course.

Why?

How have you marked life
between those two pillars?

I did a lot.

I worked,

I watched TV, and I played with my cat.

All those exciting things out here?

How have you marked life
between those two pillars?

I ate.

I walked a lot.

I saw the world from all
sorts of different places.

But the thing I did the most,

the thing that brought
me the most fulfillment

was I spend time with my mom and dad,

my brothers and sisters, my friends.

Are they monsters too?

Monsters? They're my family.

No, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it like that.

Are you hungry?
- Yes.

- I have pizza.
- Is it good?

Uh-huh, let me heat it up.

Here, you can watch TV.

- Have you got everything?
- Uh-huh.

I'll go over to that commented guy

and tell him we are through.

And at the same time, I'll
give him a piece of my mind.

I don't blame you.

3 cents a day-
- Wow.

People in here are so little.

Oh, that's a movie.

I watch that one a lot.

So how many siblings do you have?

I have five, but they're all gone now.

What happened?

They got hurt

and we didn't have that
magic liquid you have.

My mom died.

She got sick too.

She was the only person
that actually liked me.

Now, she's gone.

As we move closer to that second pillar,

the world we come to
know begins to disappear

peace by piece

until we hold onto people
just a little closer.

That's why I wanted to find you, Dorothy.

I'd like for you to come back with me.

- To the woods?
- Yes.

- Do you have like a house?
- No.

- Where do you sleep?
- Dirt.

- What about winters?
- They're cold.

- What do you do?
- My natural form protects me.

I can't do that.

I'd freeze to death.

Oh, right.

I have an idea.

You could stay here with me.

Okay.

Yes.

You don't like that idea.

My mom and dad warned
me about this place.

They said if people knew what I was,

I'd be considered a freak.

So you wouldn't survive out here either.

It's not fair.

I've waited so long
for this moment to come

and I wasn't ready the
first time and now I am.

What was that?

Our pizza.

- Come on.
- Where are we going?

This door
leads to the outside wall.

We're making our way through.
- Are we allowed to do that?

I'm sorry I got so upset earlier.

It's okay.

I wanna be with you.

I do, but we can't make it work.

- We can.
- No.

We just have to accept
that we're different.

Too different.

We are?

Will you hurry?
This is our last chance.

Yes.

♪ Shine on, shine on harvest moon ♪

♪ Up in the sky ♪

♪ I ain't had no loving
since January, April, ♪

♪ June or July ♪

♪ Snow time ain't no time ♪

♪ To stay outdoors and spoon ♪

♪ Shine on, shine on harvest moon ♪

♪ For me ♪

Ollie, is that really you?

- Well, of course it's me.
- Gee, I'm glad to see you.

Hey, good morning.

Where is he?

- Who?
- Bigfoot.

He came last night after you fell asleep.

Bigfoot did?

Well, he didn't call himself Bigfoot.

What did he call himself?

He didn't give me a name.

I'm not even sure he has one.

Are you being serious right now?

Yes.

How did Bigfoot get into your apartment?

He just walked in the front door.

But witnesses have described him

as being over seven feet tall
and covered in thick hair.

I know how witnesses describe him.

Wouldn't someone have seen
him coming down the street

then up the stairs?

The thing is that he can
change into a human form.

So a regular guy came in
here, said he was Bigfoot,

and you believed him?

Because I watched him
transform right on this spot.

And he didn't leave behind any evidence?

Look, he ate some pizza.

Backwards.

Isn't that how you eat it?

You don't believe me, do you?

It was a long night.

Maybe you just got confused.

You came here because you wanted me

to help you find-
- I know.

It's just this all sounds so-

- What?
- Crazy.

Hey, that's me.

Davey loves you, right?

He does.

- And do you miss him
- Very much.

Then you should go home.

Because to me,

leaving someone you love
sounds really crazy.

I took a risk.

Haven't you ever taken a risk before?

Hi.

I know you don't care about podcasts,

but our episode is on track

to be my most downloaded podcast ever.

It's getting a ton of mainstream press

and it is huge amongst
the Bigfoot community.

You should save BFC to save more time.

Well, everyone in the BFC
is saying the same thing.

They love you and hate me.

Really?

They were nostalgic for the Bigfoot Club.

They just wanted us to reminisce about it.

That would've been nice.

Why did we ever stop
talking in the first place?

I used to think that it was because

we wanted different things
from the Bigfoot Club,

but now I realize it's something else.

After I saw him, I wanted
to give up my search

and I knew you would never let me.

You really were always the best at this.

Willow, I saw him again.

He came to my apartment last week.

He can change from Bigfoot
into a regular person.

He asked me to go back
with him into the woods,

but I knew it wouldn't work.

I fell asleep in his arms and
when I woke up, he was gone.

I know it sounds crazy.

You don't have to believe me.

I do believe you.

Really?

I'm also very, very jealous.

Of me?

I haven't even seen my monster once.

You've seen yours now twice.

I know.

I know you always thought I
never cared about the science,

that I only cared about the fame,

but the truth is, I cared about both.

I know you did.

Hey, we're having Christmas
at my house this year.

I'd like for you to come
and meet my husband.

Is that okay?

I'd like that

You realized something in that moment.

What was it?

It's like Esme said,

I liked me better when I was missing.

Shortly after we recorded this program,

Dorothy March disappeared once again.

Is Dorothy March still alive?

If so, has she gone to
live amongst the Bigfeet?

I mean Bigfoots.

For now, her whereabouts
remain an unsolved mystery.

Hi.

Dot, is it really you?

Of course it's me.

I'm sorry I was gone so long.

I have a really good excuse though.

I had to make you something.

I call it the Loch Ness
Monster Finder 1000.

I heard the sounds.

What do they mean?

I think you know.

She's close?

- Coney Island.
- In Brooklyn?

We've been looking in the
wrong place this whole time.

Do you wanna go see her?

Really? You mean it.

I already found my monster.

Now, I wanna help you find yours.

I ask again,

what if we didn't accept
conventional wisdom?

What if we were all open
to seeing our monsters

and kept searching every
single day of our lives?

What then would we find.