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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:50,170 - How was school today, bud? 2 00:00:50,270 --> 00:00:52,810 - It was fine. 3 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,480 - Look, Stan, I know it's been really hard for you 4 00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:57,720 the past month, with us not having a home. 5 00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:59,720 - Yeah, it sucks. 6 00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:01,150 - I've tried to find work, 7 00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:02,510 but there's just not a lot out there. 8 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,020 And with the government shutdown, 9 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,650 I can't get my job back with the USGS. 10 00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:10,130 Times are hard, and I know we all miss Tegridy. 11 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,820 - I don't miss Tegridy, Dad. 12 00:01:11,860 --> 00:01:14,190 I just hate that our family is living in a motel. 13 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:15,660 It's really embarrassing. 14 00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:17,830 - Well, that's what I need to tell you, Stan. 15 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,800 There's some good news-- we're moving out of the motel. 16 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,640 - Wait, really? We can live in a house again? 17 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:26,340 - Well, no, we can't afford a house, so... 18 00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:28,850 we're moving in with your grandpa. 19 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,040 - Moving in with Grandpa? 20 00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:36,020 - This is a bunch of bull crap! 21 00:01:36,090 --> 00:01:38,020 First you stick me in this place, 22 00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:40,090 and then you all come along? 23 00:01:40,190 --> 00:01:41,730 - Pretty nice, huh, guys? 24 00:01:41,830 --> 00:01:43,420 There's a TV, a microwave, 25 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,530 and we have Bingo on Thursdays. 26 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,670 - There has to be somewhere else we can live. 27 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:48,930 - Come on, Stan. 28 00:01:49,030 --> 00:01:51,530 You have that space over there by Grandpa's shit pan. 29 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,200 - You can't make me stay here. 30 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,900 This is completely inhumane. 31 00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:56,610 - That's what I said! 32 00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:58,680 Didn't work. 33 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,390 - OK, so then over here is where you're gonna have 34 00:02:17,460 --> 00:02:19,900 the big golden pillars that you guys wanted. 35 00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:21,230 - Ah, yeah! That's great! 36 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,040 - OK, and then right over here 37 00:02:23,070 --> 00:02:24,970 is where we're gonna put your dance floor. 38 00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:26,230 - All right! 39 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,900 - Wait, dance floor? 40 00:02:27,970 --> 00:02:30,240 I thought we were knocking the East Wing down 41 00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:33,080 to make room for the nursery. 42 00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:35,540 - The what? - The nursery! 43 00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:37,910 You said all this remodeling was for the baby, 44 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,720 not to make room for more of your stupid parties. 45 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,550 - Hey, relax, guy! 46 00:02:42,590 --> 00:02:44,890 We can just stick the baby in the bathroom or something. 47 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:49,760 - Wow! OK, so obviously I have no say in this remodel. 48 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:50,990 - Mr. President, sir. 49 00:02:51,090 --> 00:02:54,130 I'm very sorry, but we need to speak with you urgently. 50 00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:56,100 It's a matter of national security. 51 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,600 We don't want to frighten you, Mr. President, 52 00:03:02,670 --> 00:03:05,100 but we've received intelligence 53 00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:10,240 that someone might be trying to stop your baby from being born. 54 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,620 - What? 55 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,350 Who? 56 00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:15,610 - Hey! Relax, guy! 57 00:03:15,650 --> 00:03:17,520 - We don't know who yet, sir, 58 00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,850 but Pam Bondi has been looking into it. 59 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,120 - That's right, sir, we won't let any harm 60 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,300 come to the baby of the greatest president that ever lived. 61 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,830 You are without equal, sir-- - Uh, hey, Pam. 62 00:03:26,930 --> 00:03:28,790 - And we are honored to be-- Pam. Pam, sorry. 63 00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:31,130 You got a little shit on your nose there. 64 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,970 - Oh, do I? 65 00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:34,970 Did I get it? 66 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,370 - No, it's still there. 67 00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:38,810 - If someone is trying to harm the baby, 68 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,440 then we must know who. 69 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,980 - Well, there is... one theory. 70 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:50,820 Some people believe that by demolishing the East Wing, 71 00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:56,160 we may have unleashed some sort of...wrath. 72 00:03:57,390 --> 00:04:00,360 - What kind of wrath? 73 00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:02,830 - Vengeful... 74 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,030 wrath. 75 00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:20,190 - What the hell is going on? 76 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,650 I was supposed to be in Washington. 77 00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:25,420 - There has been a change in plan, Mr. Thiel. 78 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,760 They are on to us at the White House. 79 00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:30,030 - But how? 80 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:31,860 How did they find out? 81 00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:34,100 - Someone must have heard us talking. 82 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,360 Do you still have the child? 83 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,660 - Yes, he's here. 84 00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:39,830 I have him heavily sedated. 85 00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:42,530 It should last another six, seven hours. 86 00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:45,210 Six, seven! 87 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,280 - But I can't keep him here forever. 88 00:04:47,380 --> 00:04:50,880 - You'll just have to wait until it is safe. 89 00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:54,720 I think some brownnoser here is after my job. 90 00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:07,090 - Hey. 91 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,060 Come on in. 92 00:05:13,070 --> 00:05:15,770 You guys can't tell anybody that I'm living here. 93 00:05:15,870 --> 00:05:17,740 - Stan, you shouldn't be embarrassed, all right? 94 00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:19,440 Everyone's having a hard time right now. 95 00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:21,250 - Yeah, everyone's having a hard time. 96 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:22,540 And you know what the problem is? 97 00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:24,120 Nobody's doing anything about it. 98 00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:25,380 How many weeks has it been now, 99 00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:27,380 dealing with one stupid thing after another? 100 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,250 The truth is, I think a lot of people are just afraid to admit 101 00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:33,390 that South Park sucks now. 102 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,760 - South Park sucks now? 103 00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:36,760 - Yeah, everyone knows it. South Park sucks now. 104 00:05:36,790 --> 00:05:38,730 And it's because of all this political shit. 105 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,790 We're just getting totally bogged down in it. 106 00:05:40,890 --> 00:05:42,830 Remember when we used to do stuff? 107 00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:43,960 Just us guys? 108 00:05:44,070 --> 00:05:45,770 Ever since all this political crap took over, 109 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,270 it's like--what? 110 00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:48,610 Like--like what happened to us? 111 00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:50,240 Like, Kenny, I haven't even heard you say anything 112 00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:51,980 in, like, four months. 113 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,770 - You see? That's what I mean! 114 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,310 We don't even know what to say. 115 00:05:56,410 --> 00:05:58,750 South Park's getting ruined, and all of us Gen Alpha kids 116 00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:00,350 are just sitting here, watching it happen. 117 00:06:00,450 --> 00:06:02,480 - You're right, dude. - Yeah! 118 00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:03,980 - But what do we do? 119 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,790 - I know exactly what to do. 120 00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:10,760 Hey, guys, are you sick and tired 121 00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:12,020 of what's happening to our town? 122 00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:14,430 Do you feel like it's broken and going nowhere? 123 00:06:14,470 --> 00:06:16,200 Then click below and join our online community 124 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:17,630 at South Park Sucks Now. 125 00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:19,000 Things are clearly not right here, 126 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:20,600 and if you're like us, you are fed up! 127 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,000 - South Park Sucks Now! 128 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:24,470 - So please, like and subscribe, smash the button, upvote-- 129 00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:25,640 whatever the hell you need to do, 130 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,980 because together, we can make a difference. 131 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,820 Mr. President, we don't want you to be afraid. 132 00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:40,190 Tell us exactly what it is you think you saw. 133 00:06:41,790 --> 00:06:44,160 - Ever since I tore down the East Wing, there's... 134 00:06:44,230 --> 00:06:45,970 this thing 135 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,690 that keeps appearing. 136 00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:51,570 - What kind of thing? 137 00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:53,970 - Sometimes I see it in a mirror. 138 00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:55,710 Or in the hallway. 139 00:06:55,810 --> 00:06:57,800 President Trump, you are an incredible man. 140 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,010 Whatever this is, we have your back. 141 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,510 - Uh, Pam. Pam, you got some shit on your nose again. 142 00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:04,480 - Oh, really? 143 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,190 - Mr. President, this entity you speak of, 144 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:08,850 how many times has it appeared? 145 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,580 - It appears more and more lately. 146 00:07:11,690 --> 00:07:13,320 I-I can't get away from it. 147 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,590 It's everywhere I go. 148 00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:18,520 It's here right now. 149 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,060 In the corner. 150 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:27,770 - I'm pretty sure that's your wife, sir. 151 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,440 - My wife? 152 00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:31,070 What does it want? 153 00:07:33,940 --> 00:07:36,550 - Maybe it's somehow trying to communicate. 154 00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:38,710 Don't worry, we won't let anything happen to you. 155 00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:40,420 - Ah! Where did Pam Bondi go? 156 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,580 - What? - Pam Bondi! She's gone! 157 00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:44,220 - But she was sitting right here! 158 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:45,250 - Pam? - Pam? 159 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:46,750 - Where's Pam Bondi? 160 00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:48,120 - I'm right here, sir! 161 00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:50,790 - Look, it's back. - What's back? 162 00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:52,530 - You've got some shit on your nose again. 163 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,030 - Oh, my God! What is going on? 164 00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,930 - That thing! It's not there anymore. 165 00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:01,200 Ah! 166 00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:10,050 Good morning, seniors. 167 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,720 It's 6:30 a.m. 168 00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:14,090 Rise and shine for your morning medication. 169 00:08:14,150 --> 00:08:15,920 - Ugh, God, 6:30? 170 00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:18,090 - Yeah, it fucking sucks, doesn't it? 171 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,430 - Holy shit. 172 00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:28,490 - What? 173 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,270 - Holy shit. 174 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:33,160 756,000 likes, you guys. 175 00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:35,400 We just built a massive online community. 176 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,940 - Wow. I can't believe how many people agree with us. 177 00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:40,110 - I thought we could get 50 or 60 kids from school to sign up, 178 00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:41,270 but this is incredible. 179 00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:42,770 - All right, we've got everyone's attention. 180 00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:43,910 So what do we do now? 181 00:08:43,950 --> 00:08:45,780 - What do you mean, dude? It's obvious. 182 00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:47,450 It's time for phase two. 183 00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:51,990 Hey, guys, if you've come here, 184 00:08:52,090 --> 00:08:54,090 then you're likely joining the chorus of voices 185 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,660 that's fed up with the direction our town is going. 186 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,360 We all want change in our community. 187 00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:01,270 And now there's an opportunity 188 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,260 to truly make your voices heard. 189 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:07,670 Introducing the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin. 190 00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:09,640 This digital meme token is your way to be a part 191 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,440 of the fastest-growing community in America. 192 00:09:11,470 --> 00:09:13,770 This used to be a great town before all the politics came 193 00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:14,970 and ruined it all. 194 00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:16,450 Get in on our crypto meme coin 195 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,150 with this incredible presale offer. 196 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,620 Each coin is just $9.95, 197 00:09:19,650 --> 00:09:21,350 but could be worth ten times that overnight! 198 00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:22,820 - Wait, a meme coin? 199 00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,320 - Do you want South Park to change? 200 00:09:24,350 --> 00:09:27,460 Then order your coin today at SouthParkSucksNow.com. 201 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,630 Stan Marsh is not a financial advisor 202 00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:29,660 affiliated with any financial institution. 203 00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:30,630 Digital assets are highly volatile 204 00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:31,630 and may involve significant risk, 205 00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:32,730 including loss of all funds. 206 00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:34,130 Ownership of South Park Sucks Now Coin 207 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,160 does not represent equity, profit sharing, or ownership 208 00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:36,530 of any company platform or project. 209 00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:37,830 Participation is voluntary and should only be undertaken 210 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:38,830 by individuals who fully understand the risks 211 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,030 associated with block chain assets. 212 00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:41,330 South Park Sucks Now Coin is not registered with 213 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,910 or regulated by the SEC or any financial authority. 214 00:09:43,010 --> 00:09:44,240 Please review all disclosures and consult a licensed financial 215 00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:45,170 advisor before engaging in digital asset transactions. 216 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,230 - Ahh! 217 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,360 Ah, fuck! 218 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,890 Fuck! - What? 219 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,570 - It's the Woman in the Hat! 220 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,900 - What are you talking about? 221 00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:45,060 - The Woman in the Hat! 222 00:10:45,130 --> 00:10:47,600 She's in the fucking bathroom! 223 00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:51,870 - We've double checked everything, sir. 224 00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:53,540 All the exterior doors are locked. 225 00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:55,380 No windows have been breached. 226 00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:56,810 - And yet the president swears 227 00:10:56,910 --> 00:10:58,420 something was in the room with him. 228 00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,750 - Is he going to be all right? 229 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:01,250 - Pretty shaken. 230 00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:02,410 Pam Bondi is in there now 231 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,320 trying to calm him down and make him feel better. 232 00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:08,230 Pam? 233 00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:09,560 Oh, my God! 234 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,000 - Stan, what are we doing? 235 00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:22,440 - What do you mean, dude? We're trying to change things. 236 00:11:22,510 --> 00:11:24,570 - By selling cryptocurrency? 237 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,500 - What's wrong with trying to make a little money 238 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:28,910 while also pointing out the things wrong with our town? 239 00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:30,110 Yeah, what's wrong with that? 240 00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:31,340 - I have to do something, Kyle. 241 00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,440 I'm nine years old and I live in a retirement home. 242 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,920 - And you really think crypto is your way out? 243 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,250 Do you even know anything about how that stuff works? 244 00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:40,990 - Well, actually, we have a really strong crypto advisor-- 245 00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:43,490 your cousin on the east coast. 246 00:11:43,590 --> 00:11:45,260 - My cousin? 247 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,290 - I'm back! 248 00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:48,990 All right, looks like we've got a lot of movement 249 00:11:49,090 --> 00:11:50,370 on your coin, boys. 250 00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:51,790 The presale really popped. 251 00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:54,100 We cleared 100 grand in volume before liquidity even locked. 252 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,840 The token's really got traction. 253 00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:58,040 - And we don't ever have to pay anything, right? 254 00:11:58,140 --> 00:12:00,480 - Nope, you never pay anything. You guys created the coin, 255 00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:01,640 so all you do is profit from it. 256 00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:03,180 - See? I told you. 257 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:05,880 - Now we just need to keep creating hype 258 00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:07,640 around the South Park Sucks Now digital coin, 259 00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:09,850 so we need to come up with things to give people FOMO 260 00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,820 and make them ape even harder. 261 00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:13,820 - You guys, this isn't about a coin. 262 00:12:13,890 --> 00:12:15,560 It's about a movement. 263 00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:16,820 - Oh, that's really good. 264 00:12:16,890 --> 00:12:18,160 - Yeah, yeah, that's perfect. 265 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,900 "This isn't about a coin. It's about a movement." 266 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,160 Yeah, that's some savvy Jew Jitsu right there. 267 00:12:22,230 --> 00:12:23,470 - So what kind of time frame are we looking at 268 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:24,500 to get our money? 269 00:12:24,540 --> 00:12:25,870 I need it as fast as possible. 270 00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:27,670 - Well, I think we're looking at a classic rug pull 271 00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:28,840 in just a few days. 272 00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:30,340 Once we pump the coin high as it'll go, 273 00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:32,370 then I can register for an MSB with the federal government. 274 00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:34,740 - The federal government? That sounds hard. 275 00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:36,340 - Oh, no, it's gonna be easy. 276 00:12:36,410 --> 00:12:38,510 The crypto corruption at the White House is off the chain. 277 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,350 We're gonna screw a lot of people out of their money, boys. 278 00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:42,180 It's gonna be fantastic. 279 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,900 - Yes? 280 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,870 - Uh, yes, we're paranormal investigators. 281 00:12:58,940 --> 00:13:00,510 We've been asked to come and investigate 282 00:13:00,540 --> 00:13:03,610 the mysterious Woman in the Hat. 283 00:13:03,710 --> 00:13:07,210 - I am Stephen Miller, 284 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:09,710 Senior Advisor to the President for Immigration 285 00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:11,410 and Domestic Policy. 286 00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,220 Won't you... 287 00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:17,920 come in? 288 00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:24,430 Oh, my God, it's incredible. 289 00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:28,090 Subject is showing some kind of viscous residue on her nose. 290 00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:30,230 - Well, what the fuck is it? 291 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,730 - Sometimes there's a physical manifestation 292 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,200 of spiritual energy-- 293 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,140 a bridge between the spiritual world and ours. 294 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:41,440 In this case, it appears to be some kind of rectoplasm. 295 00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,040 - Rectoplasm? 296 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,650 - What is it made of? 297 00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:46,080 - It's unbelievable! 298 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,620 The rectoplasm seems to be 54% Filet-O-Fish sandwich! 299 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:50,920 - Oh, my God! 300 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,990 I ate a Filet-O-Fish sandwich last night! 301 00:13:53,090 --> 00:13:54,890 - Jesus! - And it's also... 302 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,430 28% Taco Bell. 303 00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:58,830 - Oh, my God! 304 00:13:58,930 --> 00:14:00,890 I ate Taco Bell this morning! 305 00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:02,230 - What does it mean? 306 00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:06,230 - And it's 14% its own cum. 307 00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:09,270 - Oh, my God! I ate-- 308 00:14:13,610 --> 00:14:16,440 Hey! Pam! Deal with them! 309 00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:21,120 This is a Fox News Super Alert! 310 00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:23,920 - Two paranormal investigators were indicted today 311 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,780 on federal charges of falsifying data. 312 00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:29,830 The president said that the bad people manipulated readings 313 00:14:29,930 --> 00:14:32,290 and reports to make fake news. 314 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:35,630 The charges were filed by Attorney General Pam Bondi, 315 00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:38,300 who said that "the President is a great man, 316 00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:40,670 even if he does eat his own semen." 317 00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:42,040 In other news, 318 00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:44,840 many people are saying that South Park sucks now. 319 00:14:44,940 --> 00:14:46,700 The small mountain town in Colorado 320 00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:49,810 has been a hotbed of political activity in recent weeks, 321 00:14:49,850 --> 00:14:51,650 and three local Gen Alpha boys 322 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,180 are vowing to put a stop to it. 323 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,650 - OK, we're mooning. 324 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,150 We're mooning... 325 00:14:58,190 --> 00:14:59,520 All right, that's gotta be it. 326 00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,660 OK, we're done mooning. I think we're ready to dump. 327 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:03,830 OK, sounds good. 328 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:06,000 I'm on the Acela train right now. 329 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,870 I should be in DC by 6:30 to meet with Don Jr. 330 00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:10,070 Once I get White House approval, 331 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:11,640 we should be able to do the rug pull. 332 00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:14,730 - I'm out, dude. - Kyle? 333 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,570 Kyle, wait! 334 00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:19,010 Dude, you can't quit now. 335 00:15:19,050 --> 00:15:20,410 Do you know how much money we're about to make? 336 00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:23,180 - I thought you were sick of the way South Park was going, Stan. 337 00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:25,080 - I am! - So then why are you trying 338 00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:26,350 to engineer a rug pull 339 00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:27,920 in conjunction with the federal government? 340 00:15:28,020 --> 00:15:30,560 - Bro, it's the world we live in, OK? 341 00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:31,990 I mean, at least we're being men 342 00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:33,350 and taking some control. 343 00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:35,320 Look at Kenny, he--he's doing stuff now! 344 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,690 Yeah, dude, I'm doing stuff! 345 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,600 - I know it sucks to be living in an old folks home, Stan, 346 00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:40,700 but you can't fix things 347 00:15:40,770 --> 00:15:42,500 if you're only thinking about yourself. 348 00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:07,590 - Yes? 349 00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:10,690 - Uh, yes, I'm with the South Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency. 350 00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:12,560 We're trying to fuck a bunch of people out of their money. 351 00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:14,060 Is Don Jr. around? 352 00:16:14,130 --> 00:16:17,630 - Ah, yes, he's been expecting you. 353 00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:19,630 Do come in. 354 00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:28,040 - Oh, Jesus, it's a little drafty in here. 355 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,740 - You'll have to excuse the conditions. 356 00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:34,140 The master has taken down the East Wing and unleashed a wrath. 357 00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,620 - Oh, Jesus! It's a mummy! 358 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,830 - No, no, that's just the head of the FCC. 359 00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:46,090 He's lost his freedom of speech. 360 00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:52,930 - Come. Don Jr. is... this way. 361 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,340 - Thanks so much for taking my meeting, Don Jr. 362 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,280 We've got an incredible crypto opportunity here 363 00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:04,280 and we just need your help taking a big dump. 364 00:17:04,310 --> 00:17:05,680 - That sounds really great. 365 00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:08,680 There's nothing I like better than a big crypto dump. 366 00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:10,750 - So sorry I had to bug you this late in the evening, 367 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,750 but time really is of the essence here. 368 00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:18,120 - We need everyone to gather in the dining room. 369 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,700 Immediately. 370 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,360 - In the dining room? Why? 371 00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:24,940 - We are going to have a séance. 372 00:17:24,970 --> 00:17:28,810 It's time to confront the spirit here. 373 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,840 - The--the spirit? What spirit? 374 00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:39,380 - Yeah, I can see the price is going down. 375 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:40,890 What the hell is he doing? 376 00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:42,180 He's not answering? 377 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:43,180 Hello, you've reached 378 00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:44,520 Pump and Dump Crypto Advisors. 379 00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:46,450 Let us know how we can help you fuck people over. 380 00:17:46,490 --> 00:17:48,660 Just leave a message. 381 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,020 - Dude, what is going on? 382 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,820 Our token's value totally peaked and it's starting to go down. 383 00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:54,390 Whatever approval you have to get at the White House, 384 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,960 we need it now! 385 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000 God damn it! 386 00:17:59,170 --> 00:18:02,230 - I don't know, Kenny, OK? Shut up already! 387 00:18:07,180 --> 00:18:09,180 - Oh, Jesus, this is a little creepy. 388 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,840 Are we having dinner? I'm allergic to dairy. 389 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,980 - Everyone, please put your hands on the table. 390 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:23,090 I am speaking to the entity in this house. 391 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,760 - Is this a good time to talk turkey? 392 00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:27,260 I just need to go over some quick business. 393 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:30,030 - We know you are sad. 394 00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:32,530 We know you are...lonely. 395 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,900 But we must ask you to leave our president alone. 396 00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:42,280 - Oh, my God, this is really scary. 397 00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:44,710 The President is a great man, 398 00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:48,550 and he does not deserve to be tormented like this. 399 00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:50,180 - Pam! Pam! 400 00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:52,220 - Oh! Oh. 401 00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:54,450 Restless spirit, 402 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,700 we only wish to communicate! 403 00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:02,600 - Holy shit! She's right fucking there! 404 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:03,970 - What is that? 405 00:19:04,070 --> 00:19:10,540 Deception! 406 00:19:10,570 --> 00:19:12,800 - Boss, maybe we should stop this. 407 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,070 - No! I wanna hear what it has to say. 408 00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:19,480 Epstein! 409 00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:21,210 - Uh, no, no. You're right. Let's stop this. 410 00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:22,920 - You! 411 00:19:25,590 --> 00:19:26,790 - What? You? 412 00:19:26,890 --> 00:19:27,790 What did he do? 413 00:19:27,890 --> 00:19:30,420 - He lies! 414 00:19:30,490 --> 00:19:32,760 - Oh, you fucking bitch! 415 00:19:32,830 --> 00:19:35,130 - Corruption! 416 00:19:35,230 --> 00:19:36,600 - She's not possessed! 417 00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:39,770 Pam Bondi's trying to get my fucking job! 418 00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:43,230 - Oh, I can't do this! 419 00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:44,330 - Lies! 420 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,840 - I gotta get out of here! 421 00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:50,780 - Oh, God! 422 00:19:50,850 --> 00:19:52,620 Oh! 423 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,450 OK! OK! It's all true! 424 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,020 We've been dealing in deception and lies! 425 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,690 We've all been getting filthy rich off of crypto! 426 00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:02,590 Oh, Jesus. 427 00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:04,530 We've lied and we've cheated. 428 00:20:04,630 --> 00:20:06,290 Crypto's just a giant money laundering scheme 429 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,290 for the rich to get richer. 430 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,100 Please don't haunt us anymore! 431 00:20:09,130 --> 00:20:10,300 We're sorry. 432 00:20:10,330 --> 00:20:13,300 We're all very sorry! 433 00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:16,710 This is a Fox News! 434 00:20:16,810 --> 00:20:19,510 Agh! America! 435 00:20:19,610 --> 00:20:22,810 - A massive crypto fraud has been exposed at the White House, 436 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:25,450 and the perpetrator has been indicted. 437 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,980 A ghostly wrath that was unleashed in the East Wing 438 00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:30,820 exposed the traitor at a séance last night. 439 00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:34,820 The traitor is now behind bars and serving 10 years for fraud. 440 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:38,530 Charges, of course, were once again filed by Pam Bondi, 441 00:20:38,630 --> 00:20:41,830 who said, "We will continue to indict anyone 442 00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:45,300 who says bad stuff about our amazing president." 443 00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:51,840 I'm sorry, Kyle. I should have listened to you. 444 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,980 I guess there just no really going back 445 00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:59,980 to the way things used to be. 446 00:21:00,020 --> 00:21:01,510 - Things will get back, Stan. 447 00:21:01,580 --> 00:21:02,680 I know it's hard to see right now, 448 00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:05,690 but things will go back to normal. 449 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,190 And in the meantime, we just have to make the most 450 00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:09,850 of where we are. 451 00:21:14,060 --> 00:21:17,030 - All right, seniors, just move with the rhythm now. 452 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:24,370 Good! Good, seniors. Nice! 32990

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