All language subtitles for Louis de Funes - Des pissenlits par la racine (1964) - English subtitles

SALAD BY THE ROOTS

5th year

last shows

Good evening, Emile.
-I'm coming, Mr. Martinet.

Give me the horse races.

Do you have a tip?
-No, I have no idea.

A lemonade, Emile.
One needs money.

Have you seen my cousin Jack?

You should have a talk to him.
The weather's turning bad.

I believe you that it's going
to rain but I don't see the connection.

Jack. When I see him,
I'll kill him.

Take it easy,
Pommes-Chips.

Jo's right.
Take it easy.

If I knew where he was,
he'd be dead.

Don't you think two years
of sandal making is enough?

I do. That's why I say:
Take it easy.

Not only did he get it on with
my fianc�e, while I was in jail.

He moved in with her.
He replaced the locks.

Maybe they were worn.
-Listen, La Douane.

If a man does that to you,
you have to make mincemeat of him...

...or else you're not a man.

And I won't kill him.
I'll destroy him.

Take it easy.

Gentlemen, to freedom.
The first thing a man needs.

They were released this morning.

And your cousin is now
with the girl of one of them.

Isn't that up to her?
It's medieval.

It's not that easy.

You're an artist.
You're used to free love.

That's all talk, really.
-One needs money.

By the sound of you, this Rockie
is a crown jewel, pure gold.

To me, she's just an old nag.
-You don't know what you're saying.

I don't know what I'm saying?
You've talked about her for 2 years.

Her eyes, her legs
her breasts.

I'm curious, but
it's starting to get old.

So you said: 11, 5 and 2.

Yes, 11 plus 5 is 16.
16 plus 2 is 18...

...and 1 plus 8 is 9.
My lucky number.

One needs money.

Drop off your docket
at the counter.

Listen, Pommes-Chips. I mean it.
Forget Rockie and start again.

In Paris, with this beautiful
weather and all those tourists...

...you'll find someone you like.

An English woman. Or Swedish
if you like them tall.

The entire European Union
is within reach.

I got out my Rider suit
and I'm about to go wild.

Nice suit.
-It better be. Cost me 80.

It was delivered on the day...
Anyway, it hasn't been used yet.

The good thing with an expensive suit:
it doesn't go out of fashion quickly.

British fabric, Italian design...

...two buttons, long lapels...

...worsted, silk lining with embroidery.
You won't find any better.

See how the jacket sits.
And comfortable...

It hangs forward.
-I'm not even going to reply to that.

I have no house,
no food, no clothes.

I was wearing this jacket when the cops
arrested me. It's all I have.

I can see that. What colour is it?

Isn't that a red chequered
prince de galle?

Go to my tailor.
The Modern Tailor. He'll help you out.

Very funny. I'm broke.

You have friends, don't you?
What are friends for?

First, place a bet for me.

Five percent for you if I win. 7 and 9
twice round in both directions.

This could be a big one.

7 and 9? Reine de Cachemire
and Pasipha� 4.

They never finished a race.

In horse races, there are two
approaches: magic and coincidence.

I'll explain.

A favourite with a false ticket
or an outsider with a real one.

Magic cost me two years in jail.

That's why I prefer a bad horse
to a good judge.

7 and 9, 20 times round
in both directions.

You lost your place.
Start again at the back.

He's crazy. 7 and 9,
two outsiders.

Emile, did you see my cousin?
He'd get us tickets.

You'd better get out of the city.
Pommes-Chips has been released.

Pommes-Chips?
I'd like to see him again.

And I heard that he
wants to see you.

Come on.

Jack.

There's a letter waiting for you.
It says Urgent.

It's not that urgent.
-Pommes-Chips.

Take it easy, Pommes-Chips.

Pommes-Chips could at least
have said hello.

Don't worry about it.
He's very stressed.

I had tickets for tonight.
-I don't know if Jack can come.

Can't I take his place?
-Sir, considering the circumstances...

But I'm family, kind of.

Pommes-Chips and I were neighbours for
two years. My name's Jo Arengeot.

I recognised you.
Your picture was in 'Detectives'.

That was me.

My picture was in the Encyclopaedia
of Chamber Music.

I'm Jack's cousin.
-So what?

I'm just explaining.

Thank you, J�r�me.
We'll see you afterwards.

I'm counting on you, Rockie.

Poor Pommes-Chips.
-Why?

Everybody can see you haven't
been knitting sweaters for two years.

Not many men would understand.
What would you say to your girlfriend?

Not much. Georgina's in Dakar.
-Apparently, they pay well in Africa.

They're no longer as lively
as they once were.

You have to work hard
or be gifted.

A woman with your class is
a gold mine over there.

And class is one thing
you can't learn.

Mr. Arengeot...
-I spoke from my heart.

Come, let's drink to that.

Normally, with a broad,
I'd only drink a mint drink or a juice.

But with you, it has to be champagne.
From a good year.

Do you really think that...
-I'm an impulsive man.

Did you see her hips sway?
Only women who've suffered have that.

Are you talking nonsense now?
-Yes.

But that's not all.
In half an hour, the curtain rises.

I'll be a genius on the last night.
-I always am.

Good evening, Mr Michon,
Mr Martinet.

stage door

Hey you, where are you going?
-I have a telegram.

We don't often see such
short messengers.

We don't often see such short
messengers.

For who's that telegram supposed to be?
-Mr Martinet.

He's not here yet.
-I'll wait in his dressing room.

Come here.

Not that I don't trust you...

...but a telegraph messenger drops
something off, and doesn't stay around.

And the uniform?
-Where is he?

The messenger's uniform.
-Ah, the uniform...

Very dangerous, a uniform like that.

The customer opens the door,
thinks you're a colonel...

...calls the secret service
and you spend 20 years in the...

Very dangerous.

Good evening, L�on.
-How are you?

I'm fine.

The end of a piece is
like the end of a love.

It's like losing your
little habits.

Besides, love is easier found
than a good piece.

Five years is quite long.

The First World War and some more.

What are you doing there?
-I came to see the piece.

In the cupboard?
-I'll explain.

Never mind, Rockie already did.

Have you got any plans for after this?
-First a holiday

And then?
-Back to concerts.

Yes, you're a musician
more than an actor.

It's less tiring.

Did you play anything before
'Moonshine in Beer'?

No, never.

If I wrote a play for you,
would you play it?

I don't think so.

You didn't think it was bad.
-Neither is Mozart.

Are you ready?
-Yes.

And you can rehearse music at home.
Especially chamber music.

I'll find a spot behind
the scenes for you.

You don't live alone, do you?
-No.

Have you got a wife, a mistress?
-Sister and brother-in-law.

You'd make a fine husband.
-A shame only you and I know this.

Strange, isn't it? After five years,
I find out something about your life.

After 35 years, I sometimes
still surprise myself.

I'm here.

You can stay here.
-I'd rather have a loge seat.

President Lincoln was
murdered in a loge seat.

Dear Sonia, six long years
have passed...

...since that awful night
when he left.

For six long years I waited
until my dear prince would return.

And if he keeps his word,
he will return tonight.

Oh countess, I hear a troika.

It is him. I'm certain.

Thank you, Lord,
for giving me back my hero.

Natasha, love of my life.

Like Ulysses after a long voyage,
I stand before you again.

Oh prince, emotions
overwhelmed her.

I am such a brute,
for not giving her any warning.

There you are, as if life
was taken from you.

Dear Ovnitza,
I will never leave you again.

Igor, my prince.

I rode thousands of miles
to be with you.

I exhausted three mail horses...

...but who cares about roubles,
now that I am with you.

Such beautiful love.

Tell me, my hero,
about those long years...

No, let me explain.
Don't be insane.

Can't we talk about it?

No, I can explain.
-Of course we talk about it.

Don't be crazy.
-Bastard.

Oh, my dearest.
-Natasha...

My prince, you make me happy.

My dearest, my darling.

My darling, my dearest.

My dearest, my darling.

My dearest, my darling.

No, no.

I waited for you, prince.

Forget fate's cruelty.
Think of the spring that awaits us.

Tomorrow morning, the primroses...

Hand in hand...

Darling, control yourself.

Stop.

Nothing will be too beautiful
for you, darling.

For you, the nightingale sings.
It sings the song of love.

Everything is too beautiful and calm.
Is this the calm before the storm?

No, dearest. Now that
love has reunited us...

...there can be no more evil
in the world.

Everything is beautiful.
-Yes, Igor. Everything is beautiful.

Embrace me one more time.

Countess, Moscow has
fallen victim to the flames.

The French aggressor kills everybody.

They torture, execute,
burn, rape.

Countess, I will not allow it.

We have to flee.

Prince Igor does not flee, countess
I would lose your respect.

Oh, my warrior.

Are you leaving?
-I am leaving, Natasha.

My body can't handle veal.
-But it's good.

Yes, but my body can't handle it.
-I don't understand.

It's all in the preparation.
Baked veal is no bourguignon.

It's not over yet.
-We're discussing work.

Oh no, are they going to stay there?

Yes, darling, play our favourite
melody one more time.

That bloody thing gets
heavier by the evening.

They're suffering from megalomania.

The piece would be the same
if he played the flute.

The flute isn't Russian.
-The accordion then.

Yes, that would be fun.
Carrying an accordion, the three of us.

What are they doing?
What are they doing?

That was great.

Bravo. I'm impressed.

I'm here.

Look, another one died.

Toto, are you coming?

She should have been there at the end.
-To hell with that bass.

For five years, she drowned
out my text.

She thinks she's Sarah Bernard.

If you say: That was good,
I'll reply: easy to say.

It was better than good. Fantastic.
I can't get over it.

When it comes to virility,
I prefer Montherlant.

Virility's something else.
You know what you're talking about.

And life's more than that.
Or we'd be no more than animals.

Aren't you forgetting the costumes?
-The basket's full.

Let it overflow.
Right, straight to my place.

Bring your bass, J�r�me.
-You think?

I'll look after it, Mr Michon.

You can't leave it behind.
It symbolises the play.

J�r�me without his bass
is like Paul without Virginie.

Tristan without Isolde.
-Alfa without Romeo.

Very funny.
Unexpected at least.

Powerful, that's the word.
And I'd almost say that you...

He already knows.
He's fascinating as the gypsy prince.

Fascinating. That's the
word I was looking for.

Come with us.
We're having a fancy dress party.

I'm not in disguise.

You're fine as you are.

Are you sure his fiddle is in there?
-Did you feel how heavy it is?

Oh dear, there I go.

Do I kiss the way you like it?
-If you didn't, I'd tell you.

And now Paris by night.
This can't be true.

It's on the seventh floor.

Well, push. I'm carrying
everything on my own.

We're going the same way.
I'm going to the seventh floor.

We'll go after you, with that basket.
-After you.

The Lord said: Lead us with the
horse, we will follow with the donkey.

Leviticus.
-29.

Are you coming or what?
-After you.

I see you're a musician.
-Indeed, father.

Vicar, I'm a vicar.
-It's hard to distinguish, these days.

God will know.
A good idea to invite you.

What will you play?
-My solo.

Damn, it broke down.

Three people max.
We're four.

What about the instrument?
You might damage it.

We're five.
He's always with us.

He doesn't desert us.
He supports us.

Damn.

This elevator always does this.

It was time for a light meal
with a very dry wine...

...and a hare p�t� with kirsch
on rustic bread.

On the plains of Lorraine,
so beautiful in June...

...we see a converted
tank approaching from the right.

In fact, it is a TTV,
a troop transport vehicle...

...with a 12.7 mm machine gun.
You can see it better here.

This is the 14th of July.
TTVs transporting ten troops.

You wouldn't expect that.
It's like a Trojan horse.

They've got a bazooka,
nine pistols...

...four guns,
two of which grenade launchers...

...two semi-automatics
and of course mines. That's it.

Thanks for your holiday
movies, Fr�d�ric.

Blessed are the peacemakers;
for they shall be called sons of God.

Matthew 5:9.

J�r�me.

What a surprise.
Are we on a first name basis?

You don't recognize me.

It's been a long time.
J�r�me, the conservatory.

Doroth�e. The memories...

You knew 2000 lines by heart.
-By now replaced by 2000 others.

I had no use for Oc�ano Nox
during dates.

Do you know where Michon lives?
-On the seventh floor.

I know that basket. Let's go.
-Such a keen eye.

Who's pushing?
-You are. Stop that.

Are we going to the seventh
or what?

Jo, that man has his hands
all over me.

Keep your hands to yourself.
The lady's with somebody.

Just what we needed.

Three people max.
We're four.

Five, we're five.

He's always with us.
He never deserts us.

A bit of motion, Lord.

A party ok, but how did
she find this apartment?

Don't you know who lived here first?
Palmire, her cousin.

Did she die?
-Not yet, she's in a nursing home.

For senior citizens?
-For nutcases.

Christine acted very fast.
-She's dynamic.

What's that?

Hello, guys.

Who are they?
I've never seen them before.

Must be friends of the general.

He always maintained relations
with the plebs.

Are they here for you Fr�d�ric?
-Please have the courage to answer.

I don't know them, but I'll
attack during the first dance.

Sit down, Rockie.

Where did we end up?
-This will be a long night.

It's still early.
They'll liven up.

Dancing can start.
Ladies, to the salon, please.

Ladies to the salon. Funny.
They remind me of my mother.

Miss, allow me to introduce
General S�ville.

Rockie La Braise.
-Entertaining.

Can I have this dance?
A waltz gives me wings.

No, it makes me dizzy.

Excuse me, I'll be back.

I don't like that military style.

Christine, it's great. After the
dance, J�r�me will play for us.

I'm not a diva, but I can't
play without any accompaniment.

Which accompaniment, darling?
-From the piece.

Which piece?
-Moonshine in Beer.

Really? Let me tell you
something.

Mr Michon lives across the hall.
-Oh, excuse me.

Did you see him? I bow for you,
I kiss your hand, I call you 'Milord'.

I'm not Lawrence of Arabia. I don't
travel in the desert without drinking.

Jo, are you looking at the girls?
-Which girls?

The daughters of the banker.

When you're built like them,
you don't show your body like that.

They're still children.
-It's immoral.

At that age, I was at school. I didn't
let men undress me with their eyes.

Some are quicker than others
with these things.

The more money you have,
the fewer principles.

Money is gangrene of the soul.
-How beautifully put.

Are you ever shy for words?

I almost had gangrene once.
Jail saved me.

I went too fast.
Cashier at Garenne Colombes...

...living the life in Bezons, poker
in Malakoff, all in one week.

It got to me. I didn't talk to people
anymore, ordered an American car...

...and then, bang, jail, prison cell.
Back to nature. Reality.

I got off well.
-Poor darling.

You had put some money
on the side, though hadn't you?

I have the ear, the rhythm,
the posture...

...but my feet don't cooperate.
But does it really matter?

I'm sorry. Rockie,
I couldn't wait any longer.

And everybody forgets about me.

Rockie, you're driving me crazy.

My honey.

I'm here.

I thought about you a lot,
in jail.

Every day, I dreamt of your
pretty face.

How did you picture me?
In a mousseline dress at a lake?

All naked in a room.

But I won't tell you everything.

You don't see me.

Did you hear something?

You're so sensitive.
I have that effect on women...

...but we only just started.
Take it easy, darling.

There.
-What, there? Damn.

Damn, Pommes-Chips.

How sneaky.

We're not responsible, but we
have to get out of here fast.

Rockie, my little flower...

Oh, sorry. Excuse me.

How did it happen?
-I don't understand.

She's always so healthy. We were
talking about mousseline and lakes...

...and then she fainted.

Rockie, very charming.
My niece's name is Solange.

But that's not really important.

She's so sensitive.
You wouldn't know.

I see that. Allow me.
I'm experienced.

Doctor?
-No, multimillionaire.

In a case like this, you need oxygen.
She needs to breathe.

A bit of air. Air.

Excuse me, but without air...

That's it.

See? It always works.

Thank you...
-What's that?

He's completely drunk, isn't he?

What's he doing there?
We'll let him sleep.

Are you really a multimillionaire?
-Yes, 6 plus 6 is 12.

12 plus 6 is 18 plus 4 is 22.
22 plus 2...

25.
-25... 25 million.

And some change.

How did you become a multimillionaire?
-I don't mind telling you.

But don't tell anybody.

I worked hard. Really hard.
Not a word, alright?

Sorry, but they want to hear
my solo.

On the double bass?

In B-flat. That's when I shine.

B-flat again.

And counterpoint again.
Allegro ma non troppo.

Do you know who's in that case?

Nefertite, Agamemnon?

No, Pommes-Chips.

This is crazy.
Where's my double bass?

But he's dead.
There's a knife in his back.

Strange.
We have to inform the police.

Take it easy, I'm on parole.

What then? I need my case.

Get me out.

He's not dead. He's talking.

He's talking.

I can't stand it anymore.

It must be open house here.

You can't do that, Rockie.
We're not at home.

Good evening, I'm Palmire.

Shall we play hide-and-seek?

Like him.

I'll look for Pierre.
This is his business.

He doesn't want to play anymore.
Nobody wants to play with me.

Shall we lay down too, like them?
-This is not the moment.

And I have enough of laying down.
-Too bad.

There's a body in the bass.
There's a body in the bass.

We have to go.
This is getting out of hand.

They were talking about a massacre.
-Good to see you in one piece.

It was nothing.
But we were just leaving...

It's getting late
and it's so chilly at night.

No, way, you just got here.

I have a headache...

He's had too much punch.
-My own recipe.

There's a body in the bass.

There's a body in the bass.

There's a body in the bass.

There's a body in the...

Jokes like that don't scare me.
I'm waiting for you downstairs.

At the risk of sounding inhospitable:
whose corpse is this?

Mine, sir. It was an accident.
-But there's a knife in its back.

Exactly. Didn't I say it was
an accident?

I don't know anything. I'm out of here.
-One moment.

Who's this?
-Sir, this is my cousin Jack.

Who is this?
-Her boyfriend.

And the guy in that case?
-Her ex-boyfriend.

And you?
-My new boyfriend.

One has to be discrete
in family matters.

Exactly, private is private.
So take it somewhere else.

Why?

You're too much here.
-For you?

You, your case, your cousin, and
the corpse that belongs to your cousin.

That's why I want you to go,
to disappear.

And take your family-in-law
with you.

I find that very unfriendly.
-Give me a hand.

Don't worry.

We're not from the same world.

You could help, though.
Do something for a change.

Take it easy.
Jo Arengeot's a very polite man.

But he can get angry,
even in front of ladies.

Help them or I call the police.

Why don't you just ask?
When there's a will, there's a way.

You, disappear with the maestro's case.
I never want to hear about you again.

Do you swear?
-On Pommes-Chips' head.

Don't mention Pommes-Chips.

Poor fellow.

If I see him again, I'll kill him.

And you're next.

I feel offended.
Meaning, I'm protesting.

Do you want to go into the case as well?
-Alright, I give in.

Put him away.

Did you follow my deep thoughts?

Pommes-Chips has to disappear.
-How do I make that happen?

Don't worry about details, Jo.
That's pathetic.

People won't find a trace.

I'm fed up.
You give orders and threaten...

And this idiot can't do it.
You're big and strong and...

Maybe you can do it, but I...

It's not about strength, but logic.
-Push.

Yes, that's it. Get the lid.
-Push.

J�r�me.

Are you leaving? You promised...

Some absurd bad luck.
I'm really sorry.

Are you running away?
-No, I'm leaving.

Fate brought us together and
separates us again. It's cruel.

Don't you want to give fate a hand?
-By phone. I'll call tomorrow.

Promise?

Good evening all. Police.

Tomorrow?
-I hope so.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Police? At my place?
At 2 in the morning?

The police is at home everywhere.
I'm here for you, by the way, Mr Michon.

And there's my little Jo.
My little favourite.

Are you transporting drugs?
Don't tell me you play the bass.

You play the violin.

What? You're on parole
and try to be funny?

You could be back in jail in no time.
-It was a joke, Inspector.

Good, if it was a joke,
it's alright.

We understand a joke.
We even make them amongst colleagues.

We can have a laugh as well.

But we want things to be clear.
No misunderstandings, alright?

I'm the one who plays the bass.
And very well, I might add.

Have you seen Moonshine in Beer?
-Yes, Michon gave me two tickets.

It wasn't bad.
-I was the bass.

My compliments.
-Thank you.

Thank you, who?
-Thank you, Mr Inspector.

Forgive me, I couldn't control myself.
You reminded me of someone.

Someone from the past.

People don't get bored
with you, Mr Michon.

She has a weak spot for uniforms.
-I'm in plain clothes.

But you have a real police face.
You don't even need the uniform.

Yes, who?
-Yes, Mr Inspector.

There's a body in the bass.

What?

There's a body in the bass.

Ah, there you are.

Forgive us for the intrusion.

We were looking for that lady.
She escaped from the asylum.

She'll be locked up again.

Have fun and, once again, excuse us.

Excuse who?

Excuse us, Mr Michon.

Just one night.
-No.

Half a night then.
-No means no, murderer.

It was a stupid accident.

Stupid indeed.
It'll get you in court.

One night, to get me started.
-No.

Alright. Yes, I said: alright.

I can understand you won't do it for me,
but do it for mummy.

For her memory.
Remember how she died?

I was a year and a half.
-Mummy loved you.

She said: J�r�me is more
than a brother to you.

And you were.
We grew up together.

But we're not going to the
guillotine together, mummy or not.

Why do you stop?

Want me to take you to the police?
-No.

Then I'll drop you off here.
-With that?

Yes. What do I want with Pommes-Chips?
-What do I do with him? In the Seine?

He'll float. And they'll arrest you
as an accomplice.

What's your address?
-I don't have one.

I can't go to Rockie's with that,
can I?

Get out.
-No.

Right away.
-On my own?

No, with him.

I'm not strong enough.
And I have a heart murmur.

Ask my doctor.
I can't carry him on my own.

And, where to, by the way?

J�r�me...
-Now what?

Can you see me at the station,
handcuffed? The shame?

You never did much for
the family honour anyway.

I mean the shame for you, aunt Olfie,
uncle Absalon, your friend Michon.

My lawyer will call me a victim
of my environment.

The press will slaughter you.
You won't play one more concert.

Don't do it for me.
Do it for music.

Do it for Bach, for Mozart,
for mummy.

Let me stay at aunt Olfie's for the
night. I'll be gone tomorrow morning.

Thank you, J�r�me.

Does aunt Olfie still have pussycats?
-Yes, of course.

But don't count on them.
They're vegetarian cats.

Your uncle caught all the alley cats, so
can't leave my cousin on the street.

J�r�me, you're a good person.

I'm mild to others,
but hard to myself.

That's true. Did you play
your solo with Pierre Michon?

Nobody ever stopped me from doing that.

You don't look happy.
Wasn't the atmosphere good?

The best artist can't handle
a bad audience.

I can stand anything, except Jack.

I wish I had seen the applause,
all of Paris.

Now you're exaggerating, Olfie.

Drink your orange blossom.
It's still hot. You too.

I don't like it, aunt.
-It never killed anybody.

Would you mind rehearsing
with your uncle, tomorrow?

We practiced all night, but
there's something in the allegretto...

I though as much.
Surely, it's the bit with...

Will we be ready in time?
The concert is in ten days.

That's tight.
-What's it to you?

Let him be. He's showing an interest.
-It's none of his business.

By the way, he's leaving early tomorrow.
-A private matter, aunt.

If there's no nocturne in Vincennes,
maybe you can come.

But alone.

Understood? Alone.

Say, J�r�me.
-What?

Do you believe in hell, J�r�me?

Ouch, that's hot.
-Yes, hell is hot, isn't it?

Not hell, the water, idiot.

J�r�me, it's hot, isn't it.
Such heat.

Don't you think Pommes-Chips...

Do you want to put him in the fridge?
-Don't make jokes.

Wouldn't Olfie find him?
-Who?

Pommes-Chips.
-My alarm goes off at 6.

You have to be out of here
before she cleans up.

J�r�me, I kind of liked Pommes-Chips.

And now he's gone. Rockie's gone
and I'm all alone.

Help me.

Listen, Jack. You go to bed
with a beautiful girl...

...and cheat on your friend.
You kill him in my theatre...

...put his body in my bass,
take him to my house in my car...

...and then you keep me awake
and you're lonely.

What if we bury him in the garden?

In my garden, between my flowers, right.

Here's a sleeping pill. I'll wake you.
You'll have quite a morning.

Get up, Jack. I overslept.

Oh, damn.

Two cases.

There was only one case.
-Now there are two.

It would be great if he had been stolen.

Pommes-Chips' jacket.
-Are you sure?

There are no two of them.

Hello, Jack.

It's not very warm.

Did you lose weight?
-I'm working.

I'm bringing you some warmth.
Here, Absalon, your jacket.

Don't get a cold.

I'd prefer my own.
-This one is more comfortable.

What about this hole?

Darwin.

Darwin, come here.

Dirty animal. Give me the bone.

Come here, Darwin.

Pommes-Chips...

Leave him be.
I'll call the doctor.

In shock, I think.

He didn't know what was in the case.
-Yes, he did.

What? About the body?

No, your uncle got it for his work.

Sorry for using that packaging,
but it's more discrete.

The neighbours wouldn't like a coffin.

I get three a week, sometimes more.

Is that your new work? Since when?
-Almost three months already.

Not out of boredom, you know,
it's work.

I cut, I treat, I clean,
I brush, I boil...

...and then with sanding paper.
It's very greasy.

And then, back in the case,
I send the skeleton to the faculty.

To the faculty?
-Yes, no faculty without a skeleton.

Of course, to the faculty.
-They use lots of skeletons.

Bones have always been my thing.

I don't make much in the museum,
so I do this on the side.

Of course, you need to make
some extra money.

No?
-Yes.

I need to make some extra money.

You don't stop. You say: I need to make
extra money and that's fine with me.

Reine de Cachemire will be beaten
by Bobonni�re and Pasipha� 4.

The distance counts,
the terrain's difficult.

But no, the mare takes off and
takes the lead.

Don't talk to me about
weak women.

It's a clear victory that I've
rarely seen at this distance.

An easy win for number 7. Photo finish
for the second place, between 9 and 18.

Photo, why? It was Pasipha�.
I saw it myself.

Rockie, it's Pasipha�.

If you saw it, then it was Pasipha�.
-Of course.

They're waiting for the picture.

The result is being announced.
An easy win for number 7.

9 comes second and number 18,
Reine de Cachemire, comes third.

Pasipha� 4 and Bonbonni�re...
This is going to pay some money.

It sure is. Two times
twenty, that adds up.

Are you sure?
-Absolutely, blood will flow.

You'll see. There he is.

Two times twenty...
Damn.

Quickly, my betting papers.
-Which papers?

Betting papers. I won a lot.
-There was a picture.

Don't act more stupid than normal.
-I don't have your receipts.

I gave you the money.
-Not to me.

And I was against it. Two outsiders.

7, 9 and 18 will pay around 18,000
francs per franc bet.

1.8 million for 100 francs?
-Are you still against it?

There was a photo finish.
-Two outsiders.

I don't have your receipts.
You gave the money to Pommes-Chips.

You even offered him 5%.
-Damn.

He bet for me, right?
And he died.

Tell me, did he bet for me?

Take it easy, Jo.
You're losing your breath.

Pommes-Chips died.
But how? How?

Drink, La Douane.

Pommes-Chips, a real pal.
We were together yesterday.

Tell me, did he make the bet?

How did he die?
-Did he make the bet?

Yes, he made the bet.
-Are you sure?

Word of honour.
-Where did he put the receipts?

There, in his chest pocket.
I saw them myself.

He put them in an envelope
and in his pocket.

It's more than 100 million.

He was a good friend.
I'd like to see him one more time.

Me too.
-Where's the body?

We need to find it.
-You said you wanted to get rid of it.

Did you say that about Pommes-Chips?

When you're sad, you don't
know what you're saying.

We must find Jack. Where does he live?
-Here. But since you live here now...

Do you know where he can be?
-I can't do everything. Think, add.

I've got it: 110 million francs.

You get nothing if we don't find Jack.

Don't say that. that's inhumane.
St. Antoinette, we must find him.

music lessons - private lessons

Shall I ring the doorbell or not?

No, wait till the cows come home.
-Very funny.

If Jack doesn't tell us where Pommes-
Chips is, you get 10% of nothing.

What is it? Oh, salesmen.
This is getting out of hand.

Household appliances, insurance,
encyclopaedias.

Those guys are worse
than the yellow peril.

They walk all over you.

Can we vacuum your carpet, sir?

Believe me, the mistral, the sirocco
and the Niagara are nothing...

...compared to this shaver.

Stay back praying mantises, leeches...

Julius Caesars of castor oil,
Napoleons of the gadget.

Unless you're peace protesters,
followers of Ghandi...

...or defenders of the oppressed
Polynesians.

In that case, I'll sign, gentlemen.
I'll sign everything.

With hands and feet.
Italics, gothic and in print.

I sign Somalian Somalia, Wurtemburg,
from Vladivostok to Gibraltar.

But we're here for Jack.

Jack... Oh, he's gone.
-Gone?

They took him in an ambulance.

A stroke and jaundice.

He's not going to die, is he?

Admirable, admirable.

A perfect dolichocephalic,
rare for a European.

Hats off.

Look at the Dahomeyan forehead...

...the Madagascan back of the head,
the Berber cheekbones...

...and the Egyptian eye sockets.
Very rare.

A pity that the bone protrusions
are not more aggressive.

But what a head. Impressive.

I hope to work with you one day.

Did Jack have anything with him?
-No.

Did he say anything before he left?
-No.

Oh yes, he kept asking for a
certain Pommes-Chips.

So do we.

And before he fainted, he said:
Bet, J�r�me, I pass.

J�r�me with his fiddle?
-Of course, J�r�me.

Better ask him.
He went with him to hospital.

Can we call the hospital?
-Yes, it costs 50 francs.

What a construction,
such morphology.

I've got the number.

Long-headed, beautiful.

I'm sorry, the gentleman is not
in the hospital. I'm sorry.

Oh, one moment. You're lucky.
We found him.

Pavilion P�ricard, room 12.
A private room.

If he has a private room,
it's serious.

Oh, mummy. Daddy.

We're with you, Jacky.

We came to see if your fever
wasn't too bad.

Aren't you feeling well?

What?
-I said...

Het's not doing well.

Did you see Pommes-Chips?
-Yes.

Where is he?
-In the smurf.

Where?
-He's... in the smurf.

He's really not doing well.
-I'll give him a pick-me-up.

He just had one.
-So what?

You can't go over the dose.

You wouldn't deny a sick friend
a little pill, would you?

Here. swallow this.

One for mummy, one for daddy.

Four for Rockie.

Where's Pommes-Chips?
-In the smurf.

Where's Pommes-Chips.
-That's enough. In the smurf.

Silence.

You gave him too much.
-It says three times a day.

He should be feeling better then.
-Where's Pommes-Chips?

He's in the smurf.

It's the jacket.

It's a miracle. Pommes-Chips.

A miracle...
Jo isn't going to like this.

We lost a battle, but not the war.

We can't wait until Jack's better.

You'll take music lessons.
-I've known him for ten years.

Relax. Pommes-Chips, Jack and J�r�me
left together.

Pommes-Chips won't tell us where.
Jack's talking nonsense.

That leaves little Mozart.
You'll work on the soloist.

And no flirting.
It's serious work.

I've watched you and you're
in great shape.

On the way to victory.
-You thought of everything.

A music lesson at 11
in the evening? Sorry, but...

Uncle, please.

That's impossible.
Even at the night rate.

Oh, is it you, Rockie?

Fascinated by the double bass?
-No, time is of no importance.

Conversions are rare.
Please, uncle.

No, my uncle's making noise.

Conversions are rare.
I'll write down the address right away.

Thank you, uncle. Please
make some more noise next time.

Marching time...

Yes, that's it.

I was afraid you weren't coming.

A musician can't resist the call
of the sirens.

Excuse me...

Do you often teach at night?
-No, never.

But tonight you said yes.
-Can't miss an opportunity like this.

Nice of you to say that.

I studied the classics.
Latin and Greek until second grade.

You're funny.
Let's have a drink first.

I don't want to abuse the situation.
-No, no, I'm offering.

Since when do you like
the double bass?

Since I know you.

It runs in the family. Dad played
the bagpipes in the music hall.

Is this your first lesson?

My first, I swear.

Happy?

Flattered. At least you haven't
learnt anything wrong.

I want to learn from you.

Is that your bass?
-No, I rented it.

I'll have to tune it.

Funny, it's just as if you
undress the woman you love.

You can't live all your life with
and for an instrument...

...without developing a bond with it.
It's a harmonic symbiosis.

Do you think I dress well?
-Very well.

The supple motions that are
recommended in most textbooks...

I thought as much. Shall we?

Are you sure this is your first lesson?
-Yes.

The double bass has four strings,
tuned in fourths: mi, la, re, so.

But the music is written one octave
higher than what you hear.

Mi, la, re, so.

Your left hand here.

Your thumb and index finger around the
neck and your right hand there.

To pluck or bow.

But don't think the double bass
is related to the violin.

The violin gave it the scroll,
the limited number of strings...

...the less flat bridge...

...and the viol gave it...
What did the viol give it?

The acutely sloped shoulders...

...the flat lower bout
and the large sides...

The bow technique is special...

Double notes are possible within
certain limitations...

The tremolo...

...the staccato...

...and the pizzicato...

Yes, the pizzicato.

That's some craftsmanship.

Can I learn something?
-Look, you don't see that everyday.

They're singing.

My darling, my honey,
my darling, my honey...

It's taking a bit long.

We're practicing elongated notes.

Darling, how sweet...

Listen to him. He thinks
he landed in paradise.

Something could happen when they land.
But they're laughing.

Did I bother you, aunt?
-No, but don't work too hard.

You know how it is.
-A difficult lesson.

I'd rather say delicate.
Incredibly delicate.

If it was a violin,
it would be a Stradivarius.

If it was a plant,
it would be a climbing rose.

And if it was a woman?
-Then her name would be Juliette.

I want to meet her.
-You'd be shocked. She's surprising.

I'm not adverse to that.
I've seen too few surprises.

But since two days,
something's happening.

I can't tell you everything,
but if I let this chance go by...

...I'll never have
such a good one again.

A chance of what?

To do stupid things.

I've been waiting for 20 years for
you. Beautiful, entertaining stupidity.

I hope she'll amuse you too.

Did he say it or not?
-I already explained.

Pommes-Chips must still be
at J�r�me's place.

And he won't leave alone.

Is that all?
-Yes.

Did that take this long?
We might lose our money.

I can feel disaster coming.
This is no time to sleep.

We have to visit, but how?

Come with me.
-Where to?

He invited me to his rehearsal.

You're a genius. Super smart.

I'm not going.
A house full of corpses brings bad luck.

We already have bad luck.
We need to get our money.

For 2 million, I'll
camp in a morgue.

First a piece of my own.
-J�r�me writes everything we play.

Music always moves me.

Excellent. Let's start.

This is Invention for three.

Isn't he exaggerating?
-He's not complaining.

Could that be Pommes-Chips?

He can't have changed that much in
so short a time. I don't like this.

La Douane, come.

Wait. What if those bones belong to
Pommes-Chips. I say what if...

...then we should have
found his clothes.

Especially the chequered jacket.
-The jacket. The uncle was wearing it.

Didn't you see the sleeves?
They were in your face.

That's why. In hospital, Jack was
screaming: The jacket.

Remember, Rockie?
-He was talking nonsense.

Enough, we'll talk to that uncle.
-No, Jo.

I'd prefer electrodes, Sicilian
murderers. I don't want to see him.

Let's go.

What's palaeontology?

Like cooking is the art of
using leftovers...

...palaeontology is the art of
using bones.

Lavoisier said: In nature, nothing
is lost and nothing is created.

Darwin added: Man
guards with jealousy.

The petty officer of the future,
descendant of the apes.

Long-skulled, extraordinary.

But let's leave the monsters
behind and move on to the birds.

Grace, lightness, poetry,
the salt of the earth.

As St. Francis said:
The birds, whose membrane...

I need to talk to you.

Where are the betting receipts?
You know what I mean.

I just came out of hospital.
-Do you want to go back?

I want the smurfs...
-Smurfs?

So you're not interested.
Oh, you here?

I was explaining to Jack that
we're never too old to learn.

Feeling better?
-I'm still recovering.

He could have a relapse.
-We continue.

Certain species...

Can you lend me some money
in memory of Pommes-Chips?

I'm not a benefactor, but a
winner. I won't be conned.

I want you to listen when I...
What was I saying?

That reforinchidae, during the Jura,
had a long tail...

...while the tail of the pterodactyl
was only rudimentary.

Not at all.
Copy fifty times.

I said: Sexual dimorphism among...

Five o'clock already? We're closing.

Get out, you.
-Lend me some money.

No, I said. Where did Absalon go?

He's getting changed.

We wanted to thank you
for your kindness...

Can you lend me some money, uncle?
-Don't harass him.

Please, Mr Absalon.
-Thank you, young friend.

The jacket.

What's with him?
-He's still weak.

An idiot. What about my jacket?
-Nothing.

It's a bit...
-Allow me?

It was my wife's idea.

Thank you for your courtesy,
Mr Arengeot.

Call me Jo.

The 7, the 9 and the 18.

The 7, the 9 and the 18.

A royal flush, 421
9 on the bridge and Fannie...

What does that mean?

It means: Give me the money.
The rich don't wait.

What do you want?
-It says it there.

The 11, the 5 and the 2.
They're struggling at the grandstand.

11, 5 and 2.

That bastard of a Pommes-Chips.
I hope he's in hell with Judas.

200 million out of the window.
Twenty years of work.

1,780,000 francs.

On the 7, the 9 and the 18.
Quite rare.

In horse racing, dare-devils
are not the lucky ones.

Betting requires a certain skill,
but especially human qualities.

Honesty, Spartan morals, a spirit
of enterprise and especially music.

And maybe a little bit of luck.

And remember, one doesn't have to win
in order to persevere.

Goodbye and until next Monday.

One can have bad luck,
a stupid setback...

...but some drown their sorrow
and others react.

It's mainly a matter of slight of hand.

And Jo hasn't lost his
miracle hands...

...his Rubens of engraving,
his Leonardo of the litho.

And when I get my 2 millions,
who'll get what he deserves?

That asshole of a Pommes-Chips.

That's the world these days.
No more benevolent God, only fate.

So you had to forge your receipts.
You couldn't handle the loss.

What I can't handle, is injustice.

So you'll be making sandals.
At least, you'll learn a job.

That always comes in handy, these days.

I feel for you, for having to
miss me every night.

Each time you arrest me,
you break a few little hearts.