Original subtitles

Welcome and good evening.

Today we are pleased to present

the most recent winner of the Herralde Novel Prize,

Alex Pareja.

Tonight the best-sellling author of “The Heimlich Maneuver”

is here with us.

Goodnight Pedro. My pleasure.

“The Heimlich Maneuver”, an emergency choking procedure,

tells the story that Alex lived through 3 years ago,

with the death of his girlfriend, Nieves Venturi.

She choked at a dinner.

They did the best they could, but...

Nieves arrived dead at the hospital...

I assume it must be a tragedy

to watch your beloved die in your arms

and not be able to save her, right?

You can imagine, can’t you?

But well, the--

Yes, now

it’s always odd when all the critics

agree on something,

and they say your book has broken

all narrative precepts and conventions,

and that you've forged a new path. How is that?

Well, you know the critics.

One day they praise you and the next they throw you to the....

Alex, why do you think such a particular and specific topic,

is striking a chord with so many people?

I believe that... people...

recognize the sincerity of my work.

I don’t know, the pain, the redemption...

Are you considering turning this novel into a movie?

No. Absolutely, not.

And if you ask me that same question ten years from now,

My answer will be exactly the same.

THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER

TEN YEARS LATER

Like Mishima said,

“Beauty is something that, if you try to catch it,

burns your hand."

I think you and I have almost identical aesthetics.

Nobody said it better:

“Beauty is something that jumps on you,

grabs you,

kicks you in the ass and, before you know it,

steals your wallet.”

-Stop! Stop! Stop! What are you doing?

What have you done with the dialogue?

Why have I agreed to adapt "The Heimlich Maneuver" to film?

Before I wrote it...

I didn’t understand the Buddhist Bhavanna.

I was slave to my own pain.

But I hit the bottom, and then...

I unplugged the Western machine of logic.

I started writing, just writing, without a goal.

And to be truly loyal, this adaptation has to be the same:

An open dialogue with myself.

An encounter without a search.

It won't be a shooting diary, it won't be a documentary...

Let's forget that it will be part of an exhibit.

That's why everything fits in this movie.

There won't be any duality, fuck it!

It will be me, my house, my work, my friends,

death, life...

My girlfriend Lavínia...

That is the spirit of this project.

This is crazy.

If you are the author of a text

and you have to bring that text to film,

you're in for a rough landing.

Why?

Because you are the author of the text,

and the person adapting it to film

will necessarily have to ravage the text.

He has to be some kind of traitor.

So, if you are the author

and have to betray yourself to turn that text into a film,

you will end up in the nuthouse.

Well,

here we officially introduce Ivan Larragorri,

“Larra” to his friends,

our mentor, sponsor,

and the main person responsible for the existence of this movie,

as he commissioned the project for his “Auto-fiction” series.

Besides a cultural manager,

he’s a curator, writer, a real mover and shaker...

He is the author of several essays,

like “Red Onanism”,

a wild critique of social democracy,

which had wonderful success.

Everyone knows it’s the best essay of my generation.

Too important to question it.

Too dangerous to get any awards...

The intellectual world is obviously afraid of me,

can you believe it?

But you’re one of the most respected figures in the world of arts.

I’m this salt-shaker.

The glass is the system.

The knife is the underground

and the napkin is mass culture.

Check this out.

Where am I?

I don’t know...

Am I in the system? In the underground?

-I don’t know, I don’t know...

Exactly!

Because I’m nowhere!

Not here, or here, or there.

But I’m everywhere!

Look!

I surround them all but they can’t get me! Look!

Do you see it? I’m too fast! They can't get me!

Do you see?

No, they can’t get you, no...

They can’t get me!

They can’t get you, no...

Well... To the point...

I brought the shooting plan, the script, the production sheets...

Oh man!

Look at that!

See how well they know me!

You can leave the bottle, darling...

So...

Who wants a shot for dessert?

-Well, you don't have to ask me twice...

This is Manolo Vázquez, filmmaker,

he has to make up for my lack of film skills,

because, as you can imagine,

I have no idea about directing a movie.

No, not at all.

What?

Nothing...

Eh?

That thing you said...

Well, Manolo is a renowned music video director.

How was that one called, the one you directed?

Well, I’ve done so many...

Yes, but that one...

You know, it was like... How was it?

Da da da ra daaaaa...

I’m more with Patricia Highsmith

when she said she didn’t care about adaptations

because they were a different thing from what she did

and I’m not with those authors who are painstaking

and consider themselves betrayed...

I think cinema is always a different thing from a novel,

it can make it better or worse,

and that depends on whether you prefer one director or the other.

How can I introduce you to Lavínia?

She is quite a character, no doubt...

Despite being a writer I am unable to define her...

Well, there she is!

No introduction needed.

Lavínia is a performance artist, an actress...

She’s worked in New York, here in Spain, in France...

She won an award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival,

and she also won the Caja Madrid Foundation prize here...

Lavínia also got me something crucial:

the actor who will play my role in the dramatized parts of the movie,

the dramatic reenactments of the book.

None other than Jordi Vilches!

-Jordi!

Oh man!

Honey, how are you?

Very good!

Well, and here is our star.

He needs no introduction, does he?

Ja... ja!

Fritz! Fritz von Fritz!

What? What did you say it is?

It’s an emergency procedure for when your trachea is obstructed.

They hold you from behind and they press here

and then you expel the air or whatever you have in your throat.

-Seriously? -You’ve seen it in the movies.

What did you think the title meant?

Oh, I don’t know. Something about war...

War?

Yes, something warlike, World War I style...

Then you are saying it doesn't seem a good title to you...

No, no! I love it! I love it! For a war movie...

And for your stuff, too... For your thing...

After a month in Tunisia, wandering around the northern coast

we were out of our heads and went South, to the Sahara...

-To the Atlas mountains...

Because we saw a place on the map

and it said "Tatuin"... Tattoine! Get it?

What is there to get?

-Tattoine! Luke Skywalker's planet, from Star Wars!

The one with deserts!

-We saw the name on the map and we knew we had to go there.

It was a sign!

-We were mega-high all day.

Crazy... Crazy...

What impressed me most about the house we were at

was the bed...

What a bed! -Oh my God!

-It was huge and it was full of... How do you say “pillows” in Spanish?

"Cojines" - Ah, that. Full of pillows.

There were so many I could barely see her!

And it’s not the first time it happened to me!

My psychiatrist has forbidden me to drink Coca Cola.

Because Coca-Cola weakens you from inside

and makes you more vulnerable.

So what can you drink?

Anything!

Except if it's caffeinated or carbonated...

And I can’t have alcohol, or cocaine, or speed, or ketamine, or LSD.

I can't have anything! Not even aspartame!

-Aspartame?

Yes, aspartame. It’s... How can I put it?

It’s an artificial sweetener, much more powerful than sugar.

Yeaaaaah!!!

So what?

Now you’ll be angry all day over such a stupid thing?

I’m not angry.

But I don’t understand how you had never mentioned

that you went to Tunisia with Vilches.

In all these years,

it seems kind of weird.

Weird why? I’ve told you many times, Alex.

Jordi and I met when studying for circus

and, for a while, we spent a lot of time together.

We had some crazy fun, Jordi and I.

"Crazy fun"...

Look, we have this dress. It’s really pretty.

Oh, don’t you have something smaller?

How small? -I don’t know.

Something like this...

...or like this.

But what are you looking for? A wedding dress or a first communion?

No, no. You don’t understand. I’m not telling you not to do it.

I think this whole movie thing is very interesting.

Really. As a friend I love it.

I really love it, really.

Although, as your agent, well... I don’t know.

You could reconsider many things. -Such as?

Go back to your roots.

What it is that made you who you are.

You say this because my last book has sold worse, right?

-No.

It’s not that it sold worse.

Every single book of yours after Heimlich has sold less and less.

You’ve lost readers, Alex.

Tens of thousands, in love with your first novel.

Take a look.

These are the sales figures of your last book.

Check them out.

This can’t be. This is wrong. It's impossible.

Anything but impossible.

How much money do you make?

Look.

Less than if you listened to me and wrote a book like Heimlich.

Alex, I remember so well when you published the book...

Actually, "The Heimlich Maneuver" was a revelation

on every level, for all the barriers it knocked down.

I mean, the barrier between fiction, autobiography,

meta-literature, Oriental philosophy...

Been 10 years already, huh?

And now you want to break the only barrier that’s left

The one between literature and the audiovisual...

-Well, it’s true that the book meant a change in Spanish Literature.

Not quite sure which one... but I noticed it

in the way it affected so many people.

The book was a chronicle of the moment you were going through

and the writing process itself.

And the movie is a chronicle of the moment you’re going through now,

and also a chronicle of the production process itself, right?

Exactly. It’s the same idea and the same procedure.

We’ll even use actors.

We’ll do everything exactly the same, but...

...mathematically cubed.

"The Heimlich Maneuver" mathematically cubed

and multiplied by itself.

I think he’s a cretin, and all narcissistics are cretins.

And he’s a textbook narcissist who’s only interested in himself,

himself and, then, himself.

And anyone who has read his book can see that.

Beauty is something that, if you try to catch it,

burns your hand.

You and I have almost identical aesthetics.

Beauty is something that assaults you,

robs you and destroys you.

Have you thought about...

You and I...

...all the things we could do together?

I can’t stop thinking about it.

We have to be very, very brave.

Ok! Ok!

Very brave, very brave...

How was it?

-Good, good, I liked it.

You both did quite well, yes...

Quite?

Well...

Let’s see, I sort of like the way Jordi did it...

But, I don’t know, there’s still something to improve,

but I don’t know what it is.

You’ve played dramatic roles before, haven’t you?

Yes. Yes, lots!

Ok... -Well, not lots.

Hey! -Hey.

What are you doing?

-I’m re-watching Vilches's movies.

I think he has a problem with the dramatic register.

Jordi has no problem with drama. Let him work, he’ll do great.

What exactly happened between you and Vilches in Tunisia?

In that unforgettable bed with so many ''pillows''...

God, you’re so tiresome.

Can we watch something else? I’m tired from the rehearsal.

I think the problem is his face.

He can’t do drama with that face. It’s not believable.

He’s like Jim Carrey.

Well, he’s done many things!

Come on, switch that off.

But, what are you wearing? It looks like a first communion dress.

You’re sharp, aren’t you?

We had a dress rehearsal.

And you walked home like that?

You’re too much.

I got lots of compliments actually.

I think I have proven, many times, that I am a person

that knows how to put things right.

My actors need more attention

and I will give it to them.

I will listen to everything they have to suggest.

Even if it’s not appropriate.

Let’s see... Did you actually have this conversation?

Of course! Otherwise it wouldn’t be in here.

-Exactly like this?

Where are you going with this?

Look, I appreciate you being in this project,

I imagine someone with your name

must be fully booked

and that it’s not easy for you to find time for this.

-Sorry, but I’m here too.

- No, no, I really appreciate it, Marta, of course.

I know you’ve come all the way from Madrid, right?

And that you’re with your TV show and...

This is unbelievable.

-No, no. You are doing great!

It’s just that there are moments where I want you to follow the text.

-Yes, yes, we got that.

You want us to follow it all the time.

Look, you may be a great writer, I’m not saying you're not, ok?

But you’ve never done this before and...

Well, it really shows.

Don’t get me wrong, but...

directing an actor, a scene, a sequence or a rehearsal

is something you also have to learn...

Do you understand me?

-Yes, yes... I said I accept suggestions...

-Then, please, let us keep on trying things...

and filling our characters in.

Ok, that’s fine.

We’re trying to adapt a book

that's like those Indian rituals where you go to the desert

and have to survive out there.

And Vilches takes everything as a joke.

And he doesn’t even look like me at all.

He’s a fucking dwarf!

A film director has to be a son of a bitch.

I mean, a guy who slams his fist on the table and imposes his will:

“This is my opinion!”

And imposes it over other people’s.

If you take other people’s opinions into account,

you always end up giving in

and making a product that’s not like you wanted it.

Well... It’s not exactly my thing.

I would be more in between the lines. Here everything is very direct.

Well, I’m more used to gallery audiences.

That kind of audience is way more into it.

Here... Well...

We can’t throw stuff at them, we can’t spray them with paint,

so we have to think of other ways,

like Jordi’s Nazi uniform, scissors, nudity...

-I see a lot of Wim Wenders,

I see a lot of Bauhaus, a lot of darkness....

Fritz Lang running around,

neorealism, expressionism, all the “isms”.

Jean-Luc Godard sticking his head out the back...

It’s a mix of everything I like, and I think it will be good.

First she builds a distance with the audience

through irony...

Through irony and negative humor...

And then she destroys that distance

with a heartbreaking story.

Well... In the case of this girl... She is much of a performer as I am...

A jellyfish.

I mean, if opening your legs on stage and reciting poetry

while people stare at your pussy is being a performer, then yes...

To me this is the true ritual.

The performance ritual is alright.

I was writing about performance here before anyone knew what it was...

But this... this is the real pagan ritual.

Here we invoke the true energies. -You’re absolutely right.

Don’t get me wrong, huh? You did fine!

What’s wrong with her? She’s got her period?

Sure.

Look, you see?

This is the artist’s ideal.

Complete free creation.

Life is art. Like Whitman said. And that other guy...

John Cage.

No matter if we do illegal stuff. The art that changes the world...

is always illegal, fuck it!

What a pleasure it is to finally destroy the fourth wall.

To set representation free.

Hey, where’s mine?

-What yours? You were busy talking, so I had it.

-Oh shit, you’re filming.

What’s this, cocaine? -You can’t, Jordi.

-No, I was just going to pee. -No, come with me. You’ll thank me.

It’s cocaine, right?

The good stuff...

Master Doshinambu says:

“There is no End, only the Way”.

"Evolution never ends,

it transforms to the image of the being who lives it."

“There’s only the Way”.

This is the wisdom I’m interested in.

In the Western world we’ve lost

that creative paradox of the “Zen” proverbs,

we’ve lost...

Our Oriental hemisphere.

We have to search for the Other in our mind.

The “Other” with a capital letter, of course.

“Zen” begins when disconnecting the Western machine of logic...

-The camera is off.

Oh, fuck.

A writer who isn't successful can say:

“They don’t understand me, they’re all idiots and I’m good.

I know after I’ll die someone will discover me and say:

Oh! How glorious, and how...”

And that is what helps him deal

with the misery of his daily life,

where no one recognizes his value, and he finds comfort in the idea that

once he's been eaten by worms someone will recognize his talent.

Jordi, it’s me again. Call me whenever you can.

We have rehearsal in a little while, remember?

What? Nothing?

Nothing.

Have you tried calling him at home?

Of course I’ve tried. I’ve been looking for him all day.

This isn't good.

When did you last see him?

I don’t remember. At Sidecar, I think.

But he was sober, I remember that.

You said in your e-mail that this was a party for the whole crew.

-Well, look...

Manolo made up some stupid excuse.

The truth is...

he really gets on my nerves.

I can’t even find Larra and I left a message with Tina.

But she’s not answering. -Oh, God...

-Well, I’m not the first unpopular director in history, am I?

Look at Kubrick.

-Yeah, right. Exactly.

-Hi, good evening.

What are you going to have?

I would like...

Did you know the cocktail of the day is the Dry Martini?

Ok, yes. I’ll have that. -Well, ok, me too.

The olive will be pitted, right? We don’t want to choke.

-So far there have been no complaints.

-It was a joke, you know... -What?

The choking thing,

it was a joke to ease the atmosphere. -Oh, yes, yes.

Not bad, not bad. Turns out you’re funny.

-You think I don’t have a sense of humor?

-And then there’s this whole...

talking as if you were a literary-manual thing.

Are you trying to impress people

or did you always talk like that?

Shit, I’m sorry. -Oh, come on... It’s not that bad.

We’re improving, you're even making jokes now...

Thanks.

Friends?

-Friends.

-Here’s to choking!

It was a joke.

Ok, ok. I deserve it, yes.

Look, an actors' joke. You’re going to like this one:

How many actors does it take

to screw in a light bulb?

What's the light bulb's motivation?

I almost prefer you a bastard, you know?

Hey...

-You’ve been drinking, right?

Weren’t you rehearsing? -No, in the end we didn't rehearse.

Your friend Vilches didn’t show up. -He didn't?

-He called a couple of hours ago to say he’s got swollen glands.

That’s what he said, swollen glands.

So what? You went out drinking?

-No, we went to dinner and talked about work...

Well, and how was your day?

-My day? Wonderful.

I left you thirty messages to ask you to celebrate my review.

-What review? -Shame on you.

My performance was reviewed in today's “El País”.

Half the city called to congratulate me.

Except you! You didn’t even know about it! You're the only one!

Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ve had a terrible day.

Was it a good review?

They gave me a whole page and said wonderful things.

Damn! So great!

Well, I’m very happy for you, no?

Liar.

You’re not happy at all.

It'a crystal clear in that face of yours.

Hey, of course I’m happy for you! Come here, I’ll give you a hug!

Like I don’t know you...

I can’t believe you are jealous because they gave me a whole page.

You had the same face when Agustín Fernández Mallo topped you

on the best-sellers' list.

You have no idea what you’re talking about.

The same face you get every time a friend of yours succeeds.

-Hey, I can turn off the camera and... -Yes, yes, leave.

No, no, no, no. Wait, we can’t kick him out.

I have to be completely honest with the camera,

I can't hide anything!

You have to be honest with the fucking camera

but not with me?

Well, fuck you and your fucking camera!

If the partner is crazier than the writer that’s a drawback.

Because that... Prevents you from writing.

If she is crazier, it normally means she’s more brilliant than the writer,

and that’s a terrible drawback, having the enemy in your own home.

She really tries hard to help me,

even though she doesn’t always manage to.

And I haven’t been paying attention to her.

I’ve been focused on the film, of course,

and she’s got an important performance coming up,

so I’ve decided to give her a surprise gift.

You’re up to something.

-Me? -Yes, you.

Busy as we are, taking me out. You must be up to something.

-Maybe you don’t know me that well.

I bet you want to ask me for something for your film.

No, just the opposite.

Look, I’ve been thinking and I realize I’ve been selfish,

I haven’t been attentive enough.

So I apologize...

I bought you this.

A trip to Istanbul.

You’re coming too, right? -Of course.

I thought with all you’ve done to prepare the performance

you might need a break and...

It’s only three days, and I'll stop the shoot...

So cute!

Handsome!

Well... Now comes the 10th scene,

which we haven’t rehearsed yet.

-Yes, yes! The spicy one, the spicy one!

Look, Manolo...

If you can’t control these kind of comments,

then you'd better not come to the rehearsals.

Well, they make out a little, but no big deal...

Ok, ok. I’m sorry. Sorry...

Yes, well, I’m not really into sex scenes but...

Yeah, right, because she’s more of a Shakespeare girl, you know?

-Let’s do a first take.

You know? I’m not here to bring you those notes.

And what are you here for?

You know what I came for.

And the scholarship?

We said we would wait for them to decide...

But... but what are you doing? This guy is getting naked!

What are you doing?

-In the script it says that...

That we get naked, right? -Little bastard...

This is a rehearsal! Do you get naked at rehearsals?

Always! -Of course...

Well, never, but I don’t know, I think it’s better this way.

-Come on, get dressed.

I swear I don’t know what I’m doing here,

I mean, ok that I don’t have a job, but this is pathetic.

Well, I didn't take off my pants or anything...

-Gee, thanks a lot, you’re too kind!

Don’t let me stop you! -Look, Jordi. I don’t know.

Try it with your trousers on first...

You know why I’m here.

And the scholarship?

We said we would wait for them to decide...

-So... How was it?

Mystical.

Do we have any coffee? I feel dull.

-Since when can you drink coffee? Are you allowed?

Yes, yes, yes... My glands are a bit swollen.

Did I kiss you well?

What are you doing?

-It’s Larra. Larra is calling me.

Larra! -What time is it?

What’s going on?

It’s four in the morning.

Of course we're friends but...

Well, sleeping, where do you think? And you?

I can’t now.

Listen, I can’t talk right now.

Lavínia has a performance tomorrow and needs to rest.

Listen. We meet tomorrow, first thing in the morning?

I’ll go to your office and you tell me, ok?

Yes, first thing in the morning. What time do you get there?

Hello? Hello?

She called two days ago. Well, someone from the city council.

He told me that councilor Venturi was very upset with us.

The councilor had a hard time reading your book

about her daughter’s death, with all the media attention,

and she doesn’t want to go through all of that again.

And most of all, she didn’t want her daughter’s death made spectacle,

and that she was very angry that all this is funded with public money.

I assure you that she can really screw with us...

How?

Venturi has a lot of influence in city hall.

We depend on them.

You know her personally, don’t you?

Sure. I dated her daughter for four years.

But I haven’t seen her since the funeral.

If I were you I would call her right now.

And what do I say? -That’s your business.

You're the writer, think of something. -What?

It was you who wrote a book about her daughter choking

to death on a piece of chicken.

No, don’t play the innocent. It wasn’t me, I assure you.

How can you say that, Larra? You always supported my book!

And you included me in your exhibit, right?

And you wrote that it was the birth of peninsular auto-fiction

and the first postmodern portrait of pain in Spanish literature.

No, now you can’t duck out. You have to support me.

Well, and what do you think I’m doing?

I think the writer has every right in the world

to take advantage of anything he can.

To take advantage of life’s kindnesses, if there are any,

and also of life’s miseries, as there are many.

But then certain people will get really pissed about it...

Look, Alex, I haven’t spoken with you in many years,

and that’s been a mistake.

I should have called right after the funeral.

When you started talking about writing that book.

It really pissed me off.

My daughter wasn’t your property and you acted like she was.

Well, I understand! -No, you don’t understand.

I'm sure you can do your film without talking about Nieves at all.

Look, for me, Heimlich was the most imperative tribute I could pay to her.

Oh, yes! The great drama of the dead girlfriend.

We were going to get married! -She saved herself that trouble.

You always had it in for me, admit it. -I never denied it.

You blame me for your daughter’s death.

My daughter died by accident

and I blame you for taking advantage of her to sell your shit book.

Media conference in one hour.

Look, tell Larra to call me when you finish the shoot.

Let’s go.

-The other day I dreamt there was a TV show about my life.

I swear. It was called: “Marta Torné, this is her life.”

It showed my teachers, my life-long friends, my boyfriends...

Even Jordi González! -Really?

I swear! And the craziest thing is that when I got up I thought:

I sing very well, so I could make a musical about my life.

And you could write it!

I think it’s got all the ingredients because,

well, I come from humble roots, I’ve overcome adversities,

there would be comedy, drama, success, failure...

Well, not failure. -Hey, yes!

Well, we’d have to talk about the details,

the style and the type of narration,

I mean, linear or episodic.

We should see who’s in control of the literary part in itself, yeah?

But hey, I will write it.

What? What did I say?

I’m teasing you!

How would I ask you to write a musical about my life?

Well, I’m delighted to know you would!

So funny this chick!

This is the kind of relationship we have.

We’re teasing and fooling each other all the time.

You should see her face the day I made a joke about choking on an olive pit.

You should have seen her face.

Such a liar! -I’m right!

-Hey, since when are you two such good friends

and spend all day joking around?

We get along well, that's all. What’s wrong with that?

Just because we work together doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

I don’t believe in the division of ranks,

I think everything has to be much more organic, no?

A constant communication of spheres.

We’re like a polyhedron: many faces but just one shape.

And if we appreciate each other, well... What can we do?

We know this guy would fuck anything that moves.

If they put a cute actress in his face, he’ll try to screw her.

Well... As I think is obvious, I’ve never liked the guy.

OK, bye! -Bye.

Hey, you’re waiting for me to leave to do something...

What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Of course you know, I can tell!

You’ve been looking at me and checking the clock for half an hour!

I’m playing online bingo and you’ve said nothing!

You are just dying for me to leave.

No, Manolo, you can leave whenever you want!

Then I’ll stay if you don’t mind... -What? Weren’t you leaving?

Ok, ok, ok, I’m leaving! Calm down! -Go, bye.

Hey, if you want to watch porn, I don’t mind! -Get out! Go!

Ok, ok...

Bye...

Hello! Can I speak with Marta Torné?

Hey, we had a great time last night, didn’t we?

Damn, I was so wasted! We’re degenerates!

Oh, so you’re in a meeting... Fuck no, sorry, sorry.

No, no, no! It wasn’t important, no...

Hey, could we have dinner on Friday, you and I?

To talk about your role.

Ah, yes... Because of Istanbul, you’re saying...

Yes, yes, I’m going to Istanbul the day after tomorrow.

Well, no. I was going to Istanbul, but not anymore. It’s been cancelled.

No, no, Lavínia isn't angry, no.

In fact, she’s the one who cancelled it.

Hello! -Cameras!

What’s going on, Ramiro? TV3 is here?

-My God, Alex. Don’t you see we’re working?

Can you stop embarrassing me everywhere? -Sorry.

Sorry for interrupting here with all the paraphernalia...

I feel really bad, huh? I need to talk to Lavínia .

Can I borrow her for a moment? -Yes, sure.

I’m going to make a couple of calls and we can retouch make-up.

-I’m sorry, Ramiro...

-So... Full stop, right? -Yes. A sweet little break!

-A sweet little break...

So what? What is so important, to come bother me here?

I know I should have waited, but...

This is something that has me very worried.

I swear you’ll pay for this one, Alex.

What?

You’re here to cancel our trip to Istanbul, right?

I knew it. Two days before.

No... Why do you think that?

You’re such an asshole. Do you think I wanted to go to Istanbul?

Can’t you see how busy I am?

With all the performances and the interviews and everything?

But, no, the man is so selfish he doesn’t even understand a concept

as simple as “others have lives”. Not even me, and we live together.

First you make me cancel everything and move all the dates

for this freaking trip, just to make up for

driving me nuts with your stupid movie.

Like I was dying to go to Istanbul, c’mon!

Hey, you once said you wanted to go!

And you once said you wanted to have a threesome with a guy,

and I haven’t put a guy in our bed and wait for you to thank me profusely.

Hey... No, no... It’s not true The threesome with a guy thing.

-Can we get back? We don’t have time... -Yes, sorry Ramiro.

And now you get crazy and you cancel the trip.

Can anyone be more selfish?

No! I’m not cancelling it! Darling... -Oh, no?

No! You can go! I’m dying to go with you, I promise.

You have no idea how stressed I am with Nieves's mother

and Vilches turning my rehearsals upside down...

but you can go.

I'll give you my reservation and you can go with a friend.

A girlfriend. Or boy if you want...

But a girl would be better, if possible.

Hey! You animal!

You’ve put this backwards, dude. Inverzzo!

No, no, no. It’s this way. It’s modern...

It’s how they wear it in Vienna now.

Ok guys! Lets get on set. Let’s shoot!

One moment, please.

Well, I’ve been thinking... Since this sequence is special,

not only for me but for everyone in this movie,

I’d like to read something before we start.

Of course, go ahead.

Well, it is a John Irving quote

that I included in my book and I've thought of many times since...

Nieves died.

Well, it goes like this:

“When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it,

you don't lose her all at once;

You lose her in pieces over a long time--

the way the mail stops coming,

and her scent fades from the pillows

and even from her clothes in her closet and drawers.

Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone.

Just when the day comes-- when there's a particular missing part

that overwhelms you with the feeling that she's gone, forever--

then comes another day,

and another specifically missing part.”

Ready now?

Jordi, what are you doing?

I don’t know.

It seemed an appropriate moment to close my eyes and...

That’s really good

Now, let’s do this. It’s time, come on guys, on set!

Ok. Clapperboard?

Sound? -Recording.

Camera? -Recording.

-Sequence 30/1 Take 1.

-And...

action!

Thanks.

Well, it’s over.

The doctorate thing, I mean.

I think that...

Now we have to think about what we are going to do,

I think we could tell our department mates about us.

And our parents.

Are you sure? Because my mom is a witch...

-I think we could just tell them that... We’re getting married.

Don’t give me that look, dear!

I’ve been thinking a lot and I think we should get married.

Darling, I didn’t mean to shock you!

Are you all right?

Help!

Help!

Help! Help!

Hold her legs up.

-No, no, that's when they faint and so...

No!!!

I’m sorry to ask you this, but before anything else,

I got this request from your publisher to destroy your remaindered copies.

You should sign it.

No problem, that’s why we’re here.

I’m sorry, I really am.

It’s about 20.000 copies in total, but well,

if they haven’t sold them in eight years...

Of course, hand it over and I’ll sign.

Look, here.

Are you ok, Alex?

What do you mean?

I don’t know. Normally you’d get angry.

Dear, you underestimate me.

There are other things in life. Books are not everything.

Otherwise we’d be fucked, no?

Damn.

You really don’t seem like yourself at all.

I think a big change is coming in my life. A good one.

Have you thought about what we said? About going back to your roots?

I have new projects.

Doors are opening in my life.

Like what?

I met an actress I really want to work with.

A very interesting person.

We’re talking about doing something for TV.

For TV?

Well, you said TV series are the future, right?

Where money and creativity are... I thought you'd like it.

Look, why don’t we have lunch with her one day

and I'll explain the whole thing properly...

Look, Alex, it’s ok for me if you want to jump to TV,

I’m sure it will be good for you, but...

I don’t know, man... You’re going through a weird period.

Let’s not talk about it yet.

Give it time, think it through

and let’s meet again after the summer, in a few months.

Don’t rush it.

You seem confused.

Me? Confused?

Very confused.

Do I know any happy novelists?

I’ll say yes, but they’re very bad ones.

What?

-I don’t know how else to say these things, except straight out.

I’m sorry to be so direct, but I don't know how else to say it.

Well, fuck! I’m very bad at these situations!

-I can't even believe you, Alex. Your timing...

First you ruin my photo shoot to cancel our trip, and now this.

You couldn’t wait, right? It had to be here with my nephew.

You are not going to be aunt Lavínia’s husband anymore?

Hey, I’ve never been your aunt’s husband.

-And that’s it, that’s all. You just tell me like this.

I've got a thousand things going on, and I need some personal space.

I need to focus on starting the TV work and...

I’m going through a period of changes, and...

Changing a lot myself...

And... I don’t know, I’m really confused. -Fuck, really?

I didn’t realize!

Hey, you don’t need to get aggressive.

-Aunt, can we go to the labyrinth? -Shut the fuck up, kid!

Actually, I don’t know what to say.

I’m sorry.

You have every right to be angry.

No...

The worst is that I’m not angry...

You're not?

No, not at all. No.

Well, I don’t really know how to take this...

Well, that’s it. Let’s move on.

Fuck, how rude! Move on? We’ve been together for six years!

What? Changing your mind already?

Well... Today I’ll pack my stuff and

I’ll leave home, seriously, but... -No way, honey.

I’m the one leaving. I’m not staying there...

-And where will you go, if I may ask? -What do you care?

No, I’m just surprised!

I’m telling you I want to split up for a while

and I can see that you don’t care at all.

And why such a hurry to leave?

Will I find out there’s another guy?

Look, get out of my way before I punch you in the face.

Hey... It’s not Vilches, right?

-What do you think about Vilches's bunch?

If you want to remake Trainspotting you already have the cast, man.

It’s not funny.

No, not really.

Next we’ll catch him with a crack pipe...

Do you think Vilches and Lavinia had an affair?

In Tunisia, for example...

Your girlfriend? -We're having problems.

I think Lavinia is jealous of my renown

and maybe of my intellectual life as well...

Sure, sure.

Hey, people have told you you're confused, right?

To be a creator today is the most frustrating thing.

Intelligence and depth are not rewarded anymore.

On the contrary, they are punished.

The better one does, the worse for him.

I marked an era with my book, but people forget about me.

The media can’t stop pushing new things in our faces.

C’mon! C’mon! New things!

People forget what was happening a month ago!

Only modernity is rewarded...

Vulgarity, the easy stuff...

It’s like...

Lavínia, for example...

I don’t like to talk badly about her, because I’m not like that, ok?

I think she’s jealous of my talent and respect from critics.

And now, since I’m more into the audiovisual world...

She doesn’t like that, you know? She feels threatened...

Alex... -I felt sorry for her,

but I've had to leave her.

Oh, really? -I had to tell her that I needed to be alone.

It’s not true that I want to be alone, but I had to tell her something!

I’ve been thinking about you...

Well, about us.

Professionally, huh? You know.

You and I could do something really new,

revolutionize television with our talent!

Television is your thing, isn’t it? -Yes, yes, yes...

Well, I just signed a contract, yes...

Well, not as the lead, but it's a leading role...

But that’s not going to occupy your whole life, right?

I mean...

there will be space for someone in your life...

Are you hitting on me?

What are you doing? Freak! -What?

First, Vilches the Pervert, and now this loser...

I deserve it for doing crappy shit...

Hey... My movie is not shit!

-Shut up, you idiot!

Damn, Alex, are you alright? Dude, you look like a mess.

I didn’t sleep. I’ve got problems at home.

Well I’m afraid you got them here too. I have bad news.

I know the bad news. -Oh, do you?

Yes, we lost our actress, right? -What?

Why did you call me then? It better be important.

But what happened with Torné?

It’s a long story. She’s gone and she won’t be back.

Then we’re fucked, because we lost Vilches as well.

What?

Explain yourself! -No, no, no...

Let’s get some coffee and I’ll explain... -Fuck!

Remember last night when he was with the Trainspotting bunch?

Well, he’s been arrested this morning.

They found him in front of the post office losing his shit.

And hold on, because he got caught with almost half a kilo of substances:

coke, crystal meth, pills...

Yes, yes, and there’s a surprise: He’s got a criminal record.

Call Larra.

He called this morning, the Vilches thing has leaked online.

Someone posted it on a blog, then Twitter, Facebook...

No way!

Look... He parties hard!

The pic’s gonna look great, right, motherfucker?

Look how much blow I’ve got!

Goddammit!

C’mon...

Look at him!

Larra!

Damn, Alex. Are you here to see me?

No, to see mother fucking Teresa, what do you think?

Well, look, I’m sorry but we’re late for a lunch.

Call me tomorrow.

I'm not calling you tomorrow. I’m in a mess and I need your help.

And if I call you tomorrow you won’t pick up the phone.

Are you crazy? How dare you come here shouting like this?

I can’t help you!

You got in this mess all alone and you’ll have to get out of it.

If you can, which I doubt.

You’re the curator of this project!

Your responsibility is to take care of everything!

My responsibility?

I didn’t hire any drug addict.

If this project goes to hell, then we’re both going!

Are you threatening me? You better not threaten me!

You hired me! You knew the material!

You promised you'd be with me on this and you didn’t help me at all!

Since the first day you left me alone!

You only benefit from other people’s talent!

Your work is endlessly banal! “Red Onanism”?

Oh, come on! It's like a Vargas Llosa book on heroin.

No one can understand shit!

No surprise the critics panned it. -Well, that’s it.

I’ve heard enough. I’m leaving! -No, no, wait.

What happens with Ana Venturi? -What happens?

She called this morning, she found out that your friend Vilches

was naked at the post office, with half of the drugs in this city.

By now she’s denied permission to use her daughter’s name,

and if there’s any resemblance between your movie and Nieves's story

she’s going to take legal action, so...

Let’s see how you can fix this.

And now, I’m off to lunch.

Larra! Larra, Larra. I’m sorry. Forgive me, I beg you.

Sorry I said that about your book.

I’m desperate. I don’t know what to do,

my girlfriend has left me, my movie is going to hell and...

You have to help me, man!

I’m sorry, Alex!

This is out of my control,

I’m a civil servant, i can’t go against the system, understand it,

I’m a public figure! -A public rat!

You could have defended me and you wimped out.

I didn’t write a book about killing my girlfriend with a chicken bone!

Relax, calm down!

Relax, Hulk Hogan, fuck!

I think all that showing off of “look how well I write”

with something so personal and private

Is repulsive. That’s how I see it.

Private, personal things...

I’ve never exploited them in literature.

Hey! One moment! Not so fast! You and I have to talk!

Alex, have you gone crazy? What are you doing here?

-Hey, turn that camera off right now!

I’ve been waiting for you here all afternoon

because you haven’t answered my calls in days!

Ok! Ok!

You didn’t play fair, Ana.

This dirty trick you’re playing on me is personal revenge.

You didn’t even give me the chance to explain myself.

You can’t kill my movie without giving me a chance.

Believe me, I’m saving you from the public ridicule

you’d recieve with this shitty movie.

Hey, didn’t you hear me? -Leave him, Lucas. Let’s go.

The less attention we give this poor guy, the better.

No way! This will not end like this! Open up!

Who do you think I am?

What?

Do you still feel like causing more problems?

Are you relaxed now? Huh?

-Your lawyer will have news from me, you can be sure.

And I better not see that stupid hair of yours again.

Stupid hair?

Who’s talking... Fucking bald eagle!

THREE WEEKS LATER

-They love the material. Brigitte is so excited!

I sent them the “Wagner and the omelets” performance video.

It’s fucking great stuff!

And also the Gestapo lingerie show.

It’s perfect for London, they love shock there, you know?

-Yes, well... Lavínia...

Could you be less cheerful?

You’re killing me, I swear. -Sorry, man.

Hey, you’re not normal, are you?

Did you take something? You’re high, right?

No, no, I didn't take anything.

Well, just a couple of Valiums. -A couple?

Well, I don’t know, some. But it’s justified, isn’t it?

I’m officially a loser.

Everything has gone down the pan.

-Drink your coffee, come on, you’ll brighten up a little.

-I don’t want to brighten up.

-Oh, so annoying, Alex! Please!

It was just a movie for an art center!

Four hipsters would go watch it.

-Lavínia, come back to me, I beg you...

You can’t throw away six years

just because I had a moment of weakness.

I don’t know. Maybe when I come back. We’ll talk about this then, ok Alex?

Back?

Back from where? -I said I’m going to London! I’m going on Monday!

-But you just talked to the girl from the gallery three days ago!

It’s impossible it went so fast!

Let’s see... I’ll tell you again...

I’ve talked to Brigitte and I’m leaving anyway

and I can stay at her place for a while,

even if the Hayward thing doesn’t work out,

the East End gallery scene is on fire

and here the whole thing is dead.

Alex! Are you crying?

God damn! How old are you? -Lavínia...

No, but, Lavínia...

I love you. No.. I love you...

I know I’ve been mean to you lately,

but you and I were born to be together.

We’re the trendy couple!

The most brilliant creators of our generation!

Our generation is a bunch of losers, Alex.

We don’t have an inner life, or political life or anything.

The best thing that could happen to us is extinction.

I’m going to London with you, ok?

If you want we can live in separate flats at first...

It’s not funny, huh? Don’t even fucking think about it!

Tina's not answering my calls.

I think the agency wants to get rid of me.

And Nieves's mother

is going to sue me for aggression,

and I think Larra too.

Larra?

I told him his book was reactionary rubbish.

Well, kind of.

-Damn, Alex! Finally you grew some balls!

Now that I’m not your girlfriend anymore, right?

-Hello. -Oh, hello Miguel!

-Oh Miguel, this is Alex. Alex, this is Miguel Noguera.

-Hello... I already know who you are.

Well, I know your work and I love it and all that...

Well, thank you.

So, Vínia, we should leave or we’ll be late... -Yes, yes...

Alex, we’re leaving.

We have an interview for a BBC documentary

about the cultural scene in Barcelona.

We’ll meet when I’m back, ok? Take care.

Have fun in London

you two...

Bye.

This movie was about real life

and reality has imposed itself.

Of course!

What happened with Lavínia,

with Torné, with Vilches, with Ana Venturi...

It is the nature of creation.

Life is...

Stronger than us.

Life is fucking ace, yes, yes.

Hey, Alex, are you on drugs?

I mean because you’re weird as fuck.

No, I didn’t take drugs.

Well, I had a couple of valiums with my breakfast, but I’m fine.

Well, then we leave it here?

And what about the material we shot?

Leave it to me. I’ll cut it.

Seriously?

Are you willing to do the post-production and the editing?

Why not? I have nothing better to do.

Do you think with this crisis they're shooting music videos every week?

I’ll go back to my usual fast and loose lifestyle.

In the end, this is my first movie

and even if it’s rubbish it will have my name on it:

"A Manolo Vázquez movie".

Hey, wait a moment...

Alex, please, I’m doing all the work here!

At least give me a director credit. -Manolo, damn!

Well, do you want me to edit it or not?

Bah, what does it matter?

Go ahead, edit it...

Well,

then I guess this is the end of the movie, right?

Let’s do a wrap party, something, a brunch, a snack...

No?

Spice things up a little, girls, a little fun...

Hey, are you ok? Sure?

What are you going to do?

Look,

I’m going back to school.

I’m going to do a Masters in the History of Religion.

I’ve had a revelation.

Our generation...

has no inner life,

no values.

That's why we succumb,

because we’re only interested

in success, fame, alcohol, fun...

It’s collective suicide.

I need...

a comparative vision of all belief systems.

I need to reach...

the heart of the mystery of existence.

And then I’ll travel.

Of course, of course.

Sure.

Alex, your phone!

What's up, Patricia.

What?

That’s impossible! You must be high.

No, no, sorry. I was kidding.

But it’s incredible!

Well I don’t know... I guess I’ll call him or something...

Ok, ok!

Thanks, honey! Ciao, ciao!

Hey, what happened?

It’s Larra, It’s incredible!

Hey, they just made him the Head Cultural Councilor.

Larra?

Councilor just like that?

And the elections?

Well, this morning...

the other one was fired

after being caught embezzling 8 million Euros,

and the Mayor has already held a press conference

naming Larra as the successor.

Let’s wrap this up, ok? It's getting to be... you know.

SIX MONTHS LATER

One of the big surprises of last night’s edition of the Goya Awards

was “The Heimlich Maneuver”,

written and directed by Alex Pareja.

The director got the awards with his girlfriend Marta Torné, the star.

-Well, very happy for the whole team

and the wonderful people who have worked with me, no?

To me that is the meaning of this prize:

a recognition of friendship and team work.

On a personal level, it’s not that important to me.

Could you turn off the...

Long live artistic creation!

Excuse me, could you turn off the...

Thanks.

English translation by Mara Faye Lethem