Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,121 --> 00:00:02,788
♪ Whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,153
- Careful.
3
00:00:12,030 --> 00:00:16,597
- Ryan, I don't think I
know how to French kiss,
4
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,323
and I need you to teach me.
5
00:00:20,198 --> 00:00:22,297
- Ok. Teach you how?
6
00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:23,287
- Well, demonstrate.
7
00:00:23,370 --> 00:00:25,027
Kiss me and show me how it's done.
8
00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:26,167
- Ok.
9
00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:29,047
Wait, shouldn't you be
doing this with your girlfriend?
10
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,667
- Oh, Evan?
11
00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:32,377
She's too polite to tell me
12
00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:34,297
that my kissing skills could improve,
13
00:00:34,380 --> 00:00:36,427
but I know she wants me to be better.
14
00:00:36,510 --> 00:00:37,417
- Yeah.
15
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:38,677
- Did she say something to you?
16
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:39,667
- What?
17
00:00:39,750 --> 00:00:40,537
No.
18
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:43,357
No, she said nothing to me
about you being a bad kisser.
19
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:44,707
- She said I was a bad kisser?
20
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:45,757
- She didn't.
21
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,937
But, ok, let's practice.
22
00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:50,733
Kiss me like you kiss her.
23
00:00:51,993 --> 00:00:56,993
(Gentle upbeat music) (Guests chattering)
24
00:00:58,826 --> 00:00:59,757
- How was that?
25
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:00,673
- Great.
26
00:01:02,559 --> 00:01:04,004
- I am a bad kisser.
27
00:01:04,087 --> 00:01:06,937
- Maybe you should
open your mouth a little,
28
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:08,287
relax your lips.
29
00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:10,740
You wanna go from here to here.
30
00:01:12,066 --> 00:01:13,029
- Ok.
31
00:01:13,112 --> 00:01:16,445
(Bridget clears throat)
32
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:22,717
- Ok, it's like you're pecking.
33
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,417
Like muah, muah, little kisses,
34
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:29,437
which is super sweet,
if that's what you're into.
35
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:30,570
- But that's no good?
36
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,277
- It's sort of like an extended version
37
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:34,777
of kissing your sister.
38
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:35,610
- Ew.
39
00:01:35,693 --> 00:01:36,987
- Yeah, it's not hot.
40
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:42,337
Listen, open your mouth, relax your lips,
41
00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:43,370
and follow my lead.
42
00:01:45,469 --> 00:01:50,469
(Gentle upbeat music) (Guests chattering)
43
00:01:56,979 --> 00:02:00,396
(Gentle synth-pop music)
44
00:02:07,050 --> 00:02:07,800
- Wow, that was amazing!
45
00:02:07,883 --> 00:02:09,307
Is that how it's supposed to be?
46
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,207
- Yes.
47
00:02:10,290 --> 00:02:11,437
You probably should have figured that out
48
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,637
when you were like 13.
49
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,667
- I wasn't kissing a lot
of girls when I was 13.
50
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,257
- That's what boys are for,
51
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:19,687
lifting heavy boxes and
practicing making out.
52
00:02:19,770 --> 00:02:20,737
- Oh, you're a wizard.
53
00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:21,757
I can't wait to show Evan.
54
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,677
Or is that too much?
55
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,237
- Definitely try it on Evan.
56
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,346
She'll love it.
57
00:02:26,429 --> 00:02:28,597
(Crowd cheers in another room)
58
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:32,527
So this has been super
fun, and not at all boring,
59
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,833
but I'm gonna go mingle.
60
00:02:35,898 --> 00:02:36,967
Why don't you go find Evan
61
00:02:37,050 --> 00:02:38,827
and show her all this
fun stuff I just taught you.
62
00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:40,867
- Wha-are you kidding? I
have so many questions.
63
00:02:40,950 --> 00:02:41,783
What...
64
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,250
- Oh, look, my drink is almost gone.
65
00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:45,817
Why don't you get me another one,
66
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:49,357
and I'll go talk to people who aren't you.
67
00:02:50,986 --> 00:02:51,819
- Ryan.
68
00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:56,197
You're the best friend a girl could have.
69
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,727
- Thanks.
70
00:02:57,810 --> 00:02:58,643
I know.
71
00:03:02,964 --> 00:03:07,964
(Gentle upbeat music) (Guests chattering)
72
00:03:20,342 --> 00:03:23,675
- Why are we hiding away from the world?
73
00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:26,797
- Because I have the good shit.
74
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,327
Out there they have snicklefritz.
75
00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:31,977
And this, this is 27-year-old
small batch Kentucky bourbon.
76
00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:35,377
And I don't like to share. Ever.
77
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:37,010
- Well, you're sharing with me.
78
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,327
- That's because I'm one
generous motherfucker.
79
00:03:40,410 --> 00:03:42,093
I'm a god unto my people.
80
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,207
- This is older than I am.
81
00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:47,321
How expensive is this?
82
00:03:47,404 --> 00:03:50,197
- Very. It costs more than your dignity.
83
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,554
- Well, that's not saying much.
84
00:03:51,637 --> 00:03:53,056
- Skal.
85
00:03:53,139 --> 00:03:55,473
- Of course it is. It has ice in it.
86
00:03:56,923 --> 00:03:57,937
- Hey, lezlords.
87
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,317
Hate to break up the gay-gay meeting,
88
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,133
but your girlfriend is out
there making out with Ryan.
89
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:03,967
- Really?
90
00:04:04,050 --> 00:04:04,800
- Yeah.
91
00:04:04,883 --> 00:04:06,847
I think she's giving her
kissing lessons out of pity.
92
00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:08,407
- [Evan] Good. Let's hope it works.
93
00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:09,907
- It's really sad, though.
94
00:04:09,990 --> 00:04:11,377
You might wanna get out there and stop her
95
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,413
before she embarrasses herself anymore.
96
00:04:14,248 --> 00:04:15,081
- Ok.
97
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:22,150
Listen, my dad gave this
to me when I quit smoking.
98
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:24,138
It's very expensive.
99
00:04:24,221 --> 00:04:26,221
Guard it with your life.
100
00:04:28,364 --> 00:04:31,177
- Evan, you never quit smoking.
101
00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:32,410
- He doesn't know that.
102
00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:36,600
- You're beautiful. Never change.
103
00:04:38,550 --> 00:04:40,439
- Hey, you wanna get fucked up?
104
00:04:40,522 --> 00:04:41,439
- Uh, yeah.
105
00:04:42,566 --> 00:04:44,265
- [Trista] Cool.
106
00:04:44,348 --> 00:04:45,181
Have fun.
107
00:04:52,889 --> 00:04:57,889
(Upbeat music) (Guests chattering)
108
00:05:11,675 --> 00:05:16,675
♪ Make your feelings light like a feather ♪
109
00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:25,283
♪ don't let it harden
in this cold weather ♪
110
00:05:27,195 --> 00:05:31,138
♪ we can be better friends ♪
111
00:05:31,221 --> 00:05:35,524
♪ and for the enemies, it's not our end ♪
112
00:05:35,607 --> 00:05:37,797
♪ you will see ♪
113
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:42,880
♪ we will be together ♪
114
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,183
♪ coming to the point ♪
115
00:05:46,266 --> 00:05:48,542
♪ I apologize ♪
116
00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:50,773
♪ no hard feelings ♪
117
00:05:50,856 --> 00:05:52,149
♪ we're all right ♪
118
00:05:52,232 --> 00:05:53,543
(Bridget gasps) - Excuse me.
119
00:05:57,420 --> 00:05:58,383
Excuse me, miss.
120
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,097
I'd be careful walking around
with two premium beverages
121
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,777
when this party's down to
a six pack of wine coolers
122
00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:06,007
and a bottle of manischewitz.
123
00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:08,643
- Hm, I could attract
some unsavory characters.
124
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:12,183
- Whose premium cocktail am I drinking?
125
00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:14,373
Let me guess.
126
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,447
The spoiled little rich girl
127
00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:19,657
whose external locus of identity
needs constant validation?
128
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:22,447
- [Bridget] Validation is
for parking, not people.
129
00:06:22,530 --> 00:06:24,847
- Maybe the nurse practitioner
and soon-to-be-divorcee
130
00:06:24,930 --> 00:06:27,457
who readily expounds upon
the virtues of anarcho-capitalism?
131
00:06:27,540 --> 00:06:29,317
- Well, I once dabbled in anarchism myself.
132
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,927
Bear in mind I was 15
and obsessed with crass.
133
00:06:32,010 --> 00:06:33,847
Say what you will about
the convenience of its tenets,
134
00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:35,280
but at least it's an ethos.
135
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,614
- Perhaps you'd go for
the very emo Jewish girl
136
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:40,417
in the back room who's in
dire need of companionship?
137
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,207
- At least now we know who
brought the manischewitz.
138
00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:44,040
What type are you?
139
00:06:44,123 --> 00:06:45,543
- I hate to break it to you, miss,
140
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:49,147
but I am completely unavailable.
141
00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:51,337
- How unfortunate. Who's the lucky lady?
142
00:06:51,420 --> 00:06:55,473
Forgive me, I assume it's a
woman of whom you're speaking.
143
00:06:56,490 --> 00:06:57,865
- No apology necessary.
144
00:06:57,948 --> 00:06:59,060
And yes, it is.
145
00:06:59,143 --> 00:07:01,717
A beautiful, brilliant, remarkable woman.
146
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,550
- Tell me more.
147
00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:06,247
- Blonde hair, blue eyes, about yea high.
148
00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:09,607
She's a medieval scholar
specializing in dark ages weaponry.
149
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,377
- She does sound remarkable.
150
00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:13,057
And also very familiar.
151
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:14,834
Maybe you know her. Her name is Bridget.
152
00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:16,297
- (Gasps) That's my name.
153
00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:17,287
- She's supposed to be here tonight,
154
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,177
but I can't seem to find her.
155
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:20,377
- Oh, this could be dangerous.
156
00:07:20,460 --> 00:07:21,699
She might see me flirting with you.
157
00:07:21,782 --> 00:07:22,997
- Then what?
158
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,627
- Well, I'm sure she wouldn't
want me taking what's hers.
159
00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:27,474
I suppose I should
seize the opportunity now
160
00:07:27,557 --> 00:07:28,617
and kiss you while I can.
161
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:31,030
- I wouldn't wanna put you in harm's way.
162
00:07:31,113 --> 00:07:33,780
- I think you're worth the risk.
163
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:39,146
♪ As rain on the city falls ♪
164
00:07:39,229 --> 00:07:42,913
♪ the taste is bittersweet ♪
165
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:43,799
♪ restlessness ♪
166
00:07:43,882 --> 00:07:44,799
- Yes, yes.
167
00:07:46,495 --> 00:07:49,635
♪ A future far away ♪
168
00:07:49,718 --> 00:07:53,306
♪ I'll travel into the unknown ♪
169
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:58,389
♪ to make sure you will see another day ♪
170
00:08:00,636 --> 00:08:05,636
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
171
00:08:07,731 --> 00:08:12,731
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
172
00:08:14,835 --> 00:08:19,835
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
173
00:08:21,731 --> 00:08:23,605
♪ a thousand years ♪
174
00:08:23,688 --> 00:08:26,750
♪ a thousand years ♪
175
00:08:26,833 --> 00:08:29,644
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
176
00:08:29,727 --> 00:08:33,735
♪ through complication ♪
177
00:08:33,818 --> 00:08:36,715
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
178
00:08:36,798 --> 00:08:40,800
♪ through the unknown ♪
179
00:08:40,883 --> 00:08:43,765
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
180
00:08:43,848 --> 00:08:47,173
♪ determination ♪
181
00:08:47,256 --> 00:08:50,569
♪ whoa-ho, whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
182
00:08:50,652 --> 00:08:55,652
♪ I'll make sure you'll never be alone ♪
183
00:08:57,547 --> 00:09:02,547
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
184
00:09:04,621 --> 00:09:09,621
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
185
00:09:11,755 --> 00:09:16,755
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
186
00:09:18,621 --> 00:09:20,545
♪ a thousand years ♪
187
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:23,571
♪ a thousand years ♪
188
00:09:23,654 --> 00:09:25,864
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
189
00:09:25,947 --> 00:09:30,430
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
190
00:09:30,513 --> 00:09:32,967
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
191
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:37,705
♪ I would trade a thousand years ♪
192
00:09:37,788 --> 00:09:40,126
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
193
00:09:40,209 --> 00:09:41,192
(Glitching)
194
00:09:47,716 --> 00:09:48,549
- Evan?
195
00:09:52,599 --> 00:09:53,682
What is that?
196
00:09:55,149 --> 00:09:57,752
(Objects clattering)
197
00:09:57,835 --> 00:09:58,668
Evan.
198
00:10:00,043 --> 00:10:03,092
I think there's someone in the kitchen.
199
00:10:03,175 --> 00:10:04,531
I think there's someone in the kitchen.
200
00:10:04,614 --> 00:10:05,447
- Huh?
201
00:10:07,072 --> 00:10:08,106
- Get my ax.
202
00:10:08,189 --> 00:10:11,343
Get my ax. Help me get my ax.
203
00:10:11,426 --> 00:10:12,501
(Evan groans)
204
00:10:14,268 --> 00:10:16,768
(Door creaks)
205
00:10:20,028 --> 00:10:21,697
(Ryan screams)
206
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:23,232
- Oh my god!
207
00:10:23,315 --> 00:10:24,727
I didn't mean to wake you guys up.
208
00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:27,037
- How is she in here?
209
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,997
- I gave her a key and the
code to the alarm system.
210
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:31,957
Sorry.
211
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,567
- Bridget, you look hot.
212
00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:35,827
Is that la Perla?
213
00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:38,197
- No, I'd rather have Victoria's secret
214
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,627
and an extra 500 bucks in my pocket.
215
00:10:40,710 --> 00:10:42,487
- To what do we owe the
honor of your home invasion?
216
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,853
- Guys, this is intense.
217
00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:46,560
I've been poisoned.
218
00:10:46,643 --> 00:10:47,393
- [Bridget] What?
219
00:10:47,476 --> 00:10:48,517
- Yeah, someone tried to dose me.
220
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,019
- [Bridget] Who?
221
00:10:50,102 --> 00:10:50,852
- I don't know.
222
00:10:50,935 --> 00:10:52,297
But my drink tasted really funny,
223
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,757
and I felt really weird,
so I left and came here.
224
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,617
- Do we need to take you to the hospital?
225
00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:59,017
- No. I only had one sip.
226
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,992
I just feel way drunker than I should.
227
00:11:01,075 --> 00:11:01,897
(Phone rings)
228
00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:05,527
- Ok, well, what did you
do with the rest of the drink?
229
00:11:05,610 --> 00:11:08,546
- I gave it to Dov and
told her to take care of it.
230
00:11:08,629 --> 00:11:10,597
- Ryan, this is very important.
231
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:14,257
Now what exactly did you say to Dov?
232
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,940
- I told her to take care of it.
233
00:11:17,379 --> 00:11:19,879
Oh, no.
234
00:11:19,962 --> 00:11:24,962
(Upbeat music) (People chattering)
235
00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:30,427
- What's happening?
236
00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:32,137
- She's fucked up. Who knows?
237
00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:34,027
Rope, g, k.
238
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:34,897
- [Dov] L, m, n, o, p.
239
00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:36,428
- Oh my god, it's all my fault.
240
00:11:36,511 --> 00:11:37,777
(Dov laughs)
241
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:39,076
- [Trista] I knew you
idiots had a hand in this.
242
00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:39,909
- I didn't know.
243
00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:42,757
Someone roofied me, and I gave it to Dov,
244
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,227
and I guess I didn't make it clear.
245
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:45,157
- Trista, you're a nurse.
246
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,507
What's the prognosis?
247
00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:48,457
- [Trista] It depends on how much she had.
248
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:49,717
- Just one drink.
249
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:50,827
- Shouldn't we call the police?
250
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,447
I mean, we need to figure out who did this.
251
00:11:52,530 --> 00:11:54,007
- [Trista] The police
don't give a shit about us.
252
00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:55,447
- Is that true?
253
00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:57,803
- [Evan] Will she be
needing medical attention?
254
00:11:58,890 --> 00:12:00,397
- Just keep an eye on her.
255
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,647
- [Dov] You know, I can
hear everything you're saying.
256
00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:04,180
- How is she still conscious?
257
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,297
- She must have not had enough to pass out.
258
00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:08,797
- I have a strong constitution.
259
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,047
I've built up a really high tolerance
260
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,603
to controlled substances.
261
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,560
- Get those people out of here.
262
00:12:16,890 --> 00:12:17,723
Stay.
263
00:12:19,436 --> 00:12:20,186
- [Ryan] The party's over.
264
00:12:20,269 --> 00:12:21,495
- [Trista] Everyone get the fuck out.
265
00:12:21,578 --> 00:12:22,870
- What? - Get out.
266
00:12:22,953 --> 00:12:24,338
- [Woman] Why?
267
00:12:24,421 --> 00:12:26,836
- Come on, babe. - Come on, get out.
268
00:12:26,919 --> 00:12:28,989
Out! Everybody, get out!
269
00:12:29,072 --> 00:12:29,826
Now!
270
00:12:29,909 --> 00:12:31,449
(Crowd muttering)
271
00:12:31,532 --> 00:12:32,497
Everyone, out, out.
272
00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:33,330
Now.
273
00:12:33,413 --> 00:12:34,228
Come on.
274
00:12:34,311 --> 00:12:36,856
(Crowd muttering)
275
00:12:36,939 --> 00:12:37,772
Come on.
276
00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:41,844
(Dov laughs)
277
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,917
- I don't know if I'm laughing
so much because I'm so high
278
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,467
or because I'm dying.
279
00:12:50,550 --> 00:12:51,993
- Oh, you're not dying.
280
00:12:53,574 --> 00:12:55,117
- We're all dying.
281
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,450
- She's being fatalistic.
That's a good sign.
282
00:12:59,550 --> 00:13:00,383
- That's it.
283
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,853
My girl. I got you.
284
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:10,357
- Evan, there's something really major
285
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,300
I wanna tell you right now.
286
00:13:17,237 --> 00:13:19,820
(Dov wretches)
287
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:24,213
- Did you know they had
bras in the 14th century?
288
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:27,857
- Does that mean they also had second base?
289
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,882
(Bridget laughs)
290
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:35,733
I have some news.
291
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:37,390
- Oh.
292
00:13:37,473 --> 00:13:40,503
- My father is running for senate.
293
00:13:41,430 --> 00:13:42,577
- State or-
294
00:13:42,660 --> 00:13:45,787
- U.S. senate. And he wants
me to be campaign chair.
295
00:13:45,870 --> 00:13:47,437
- Governor wasn't enough?
296
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,477
- For my father, nothing is ever enough.
297
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,337
- Must run in the family.
298
00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:52,807
You have to do it.
299
00:13:52,890 --> 00:13:55,447
- I will. There's one catch.
300
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,487
He can't win as a democrat again.
301
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,107
This time he has to run as-
302
00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:00,277
- a libertarian?
303
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,503
- As a republican.
304
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,587
- You can't support a republican candidate.
305
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:06,817
- I can if he's my dad.
306
00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:09,247
He'll be republican in name only.
307
00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:10,687
He's a huge supporter of gay rights.
308
00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:12,307
Everyone knows his daughter's a homo.
309
00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:13,323
- A major one.
310
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,497
What about women's
rights, and abortion rights,
311
00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:18,860
and immigrant rights.
312
00:14:18,943 --> 00:14:20,257
- I'm not an immigrant.
313
00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:21,607
- Your grandparents were.
314
00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:22,837
- Someone's gonna chair his campaign.
315
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,093
It might as well be me.
316
00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:28,717
- I just don't want you to do something
317
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,727
you're later going to regret.
318
00:14:30,810 --> 00:14:32,827
- Regret is my favorite pastime.
319
00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,207
Every day I can pass along to him
320
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,337
your marxist feminist dialectic.
321
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:39,063
- Ooh. I love it when you talk nerdy to me.
322
00:14:43,923 --> 00:14:45,550
- You keep doing that, don't you?
323
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:48,713
Marry me.
324
00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:52,497
- I have other plans for today.
325
00:14:56,454 --> 00:14:58,777
Mm, you taste so sweet.
326
00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:00,910
- You taste better than being thin feels.
327
00:15:03,209 --> 00:15:04,567
(Objects crashing)
328
00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:07,237
Is there another intruder in the house?
329
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:08,437
- The very same one.
330
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,357
I let Ryan in after you crashed last night.
331
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,697
She didn’t wanna sleep
alone in her new apartment.
332
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:15,093
- We're not running a
social services agency.
333
00:15:17,490 --> 00:15:18,427
- I don't know about you guys,
334
00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:20,587
but I am ready for some vodka.
335
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:21,503
Morning.
336
00:15:22,778 --> 00:15:26,195
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
337
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:33,337
So I get some phone
call from England, collect,
338
00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:35,587
and it's some nurse from some hospital
339
00:15:35,670 --> 00:15:38,738
informing me that my
father is on his deathbed.
340
00:15:38,821 --> 00:15:40,597
- God, Ryan. I'm so sorry.
341
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,127
- I'm not.
342
00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:44,587
The old bastard has been alive long enough.
343
00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:45,757
I'm ready for him to kick the bucket
344
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,077
so I can collect my inheritance.
345
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,847
- I thought you guys got along pretty well.
346
00:15:48,930 --> 00:15:50,437
- We have a fabulous arrangement.
347
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,417
He pays me five grand a month,
348
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,907
and his embarrassment
of a homosexual daughter
349
00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:57,442
stays on a different
continent and out of his life.
350
00:15:57,525 --> 00:15:59,227
- Oh, I didn't know it was that bad.
351
00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:00,997
- Could be worse.
352
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:04,023
When I graduated, his
initial offer was 3,000.
353
00:16:05,629 --> 00:16:07,293
- Hey, babe.
354
00:16:09,374 --> 00:16:11,137
Have a nice day, ladies.
355
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,723
- Where's my kiss?
356
00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:16,747
(Bridget laughs)
357
00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:18,727
Hey, is Evan going to work?
358
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,347
But it's Saturday.
359
00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:22,987
Wait, sorry. Since when
does Evan have a job?
360
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:25,053
- Since her dad's running for senate.
361
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:31,175
And now she's a republican.
362
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,917
- Oh my god.
363
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,447
She's a sellout.
364
00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:37,087
What happened to her
dead-dog-dyke-democrat?
365
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:39,757
- She's rolling over and
playing conservative.
366
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,267
And she keeps pushing me to marry her.
367
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:44,407
- I know.
368
00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:46,747
She won't stop talking about it.
369
00:16:46,830 --> 00:16:48,397
Don't you want to?
370
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:53,480
- Yeah, just not now.
371
00:16:53,610 --> 00:16:55,537
- [Ryan] You're gonna need some of this.
372
00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:57,997
- Oh, glad to see last night
didn't put you off your game.
373
00:16:58,080 --> 00:16:59,163
- What do you mean?
374
00:17:01,530 --> 00:17:02,853
- You got roofied.
375
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:05,873
- Oh, right.
376
00:17:07,620 --> 00:17:08,767
- Yeah.
377
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:12,037
Well, so here's to getting married, then.
378
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,537
And selling out.
379
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:15,410
- Aren't those the same thing?
380
00:17:22,830 --> 00:17:24,457
- Why does the universe
go through all the bother
381
00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:25,683
of existing at all?
382
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,227
- Having a bout of
existential despair, I see.
383
00:17:29,310 --> 00:17:30,933
- What's the purpose of life?
384
00:17:33,060 --> 00:17:34,477
- That's a yes.
385
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,197
Well, most losers,
present company included,
386
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:42,517
would say it's love.
387
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,887
- Wrong, love is a capitalist scheme
388
00:17:44,970 --> 00:17:47,707
that is prepackaged and
pedaled to the masses.
389
00:17:47,790 --> 00:17:48,997
It's the perfect racket.
390
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,183
It's selling dreams for cash.
391
00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:53,587
- I thought you'd be
happy once Evan got you
392
00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:54,970
that job at the newspaper.
393
00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:58,717
- Typing up engagement
announcements isn't writing,
394
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,327
although I would recommend
it to our government
395
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:02,613
as a form of torture.
396
00:18:03,780 --> 00:18:05,407
- You are so emo.
397
00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:06,790
You just need to get laid.
398
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:09,800
- Love is an illusion.
399
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,310
- So what is it then?
400
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:16,770
- What's what?
401
00:18:16,853 --> 00:18:19,520
- [Trista] Your original
question. The purpose of life.
402
00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:21,787
- I don't know.
403
00:18:21,870 --> 00:18:22,703
- I do.
404
00:18:24,510 --> 00:18:25,927
It's to have as much fun as you can
405
00:18:26,010 --> 00:18:27,910
before we're all sent to burn in hell.
406
00:18:35,770 --> 00:18:40,770
(Upbeat synth music) (Static glitching)
407
00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:49,897
Up for some divorce proceedings?
408
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:51,130
- Nice to see you, too.
409
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:53,940
- Good to be back.
410
00:18:54,780 --> 00:18:57,693
I like what you've done
with the place, I guess.
411
00:19:01,657 --> 00:19:05,074
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
412
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:12,783
And here I thought this wasn't
gonna be an amicable divorce.
413
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:19,030
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
414
00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:31,257
(Thunder rumbling)
415
00:19:40,401 --> 00:19:41,151
- Come in.
416
00:19:41,234 --> 00:19:42,067
Come in.
417
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:46,417
I don't think you've seen
this place since I moved here.
418
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,297
- Business must be
booming in the tattoo industry.
419
00:19:49,380 --> 00:19:51,613
- This world is full of UN-inked flesh.
420
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:54,037
I'm gonna change real fast.
421
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,453
Make us a drink, or one for each of us.
422
00:19:58,504 --> 00:19:59,754
You know what I'm saying.
423
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:10,567
- Ryan, how are you affording all this?
424
00:20:10,650 --> 00:20:12,667
- [Ryan] Oh, you know,
things are going really well
425
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:17,227
at the shop, and my
dad helps me financially.
426
00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:19,147
- Bridget was telling me about that.
427
00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:20,437
She's worried about you.
428
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,133
- [Ryan] Why? I'm doing fabulously.
429
00:20:36,518 --> 00:20:39,817
- Would you like to mix
that with something, or...
430
00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:40,950
- I like it straight.
431
00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:46,073
Pretty much the only thing I like straight.
432
00:20:48,570 --> 00:20:49,403
Have a seat.
433
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,537
- Tell me why I suddenly feel like
434
00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:53,377
I need to have a cigarette.
435
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,110
- I'm about to drop a truth bomb.
436
00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:57,367
- In your own home?
437
00:20:57,450 --> 00:20:59,373
That's an act of domestic terrorism.
438
00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:04,920
Bombs away.
439
00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:12,933
- Dov, you have a major problem.
440
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,667
- Why do I feel like
I'm at an intervention?
441
00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:17,388
- Because I'm interventioning you.
442
00:21:19,431 --> 00:21:22,777
- Ok, what's my drug of choice?
443
00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:24,607
- I want you to know that
I understand you better
444
00:21:24,690 --> 00:21:26,317
than you realize.
445
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,537
I think about you all the time,
446
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,057
about what your life must be like,
447
00:21:31,140 --> 00:21:32,740
and I know what your problem is.
448
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,287
- This should be spectacular.
449
00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:37,165
- You're madly in love with Evan.
450
00:21:37,248 --> 00:21:39,665
(Dov coughs)
451
00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:42,180
- Evan?
452
00:21:42,263 --> 00:21:43,653
- Yes. You're in love with her.
453
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,737
- I'm sorry, did someone
just turn on the bat hit signal?
454
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:49,237
- Like I said, I've given a lot of thought
455
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,777
to your life situation, and
I've had some major insights.
456
00:21:52,860 --> 00:21:54,487
- Enlighten me.
457
00:21:54,570 --> 00:21:57,637
- You need a girl who's
gonna treat you like a lady.
458
00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:58,627
- As opposed to?
459
00:21:58,710 --> 00:22:00,307
- As opposed to most girls
460
00:22:00,390 --> 00:22:02,827
who take one look at your bad girl persona
461
00:22:02,910 --> 00:22:06,967
and immediately turn into
pillow princesses and starfish.
462
00:22:07,050 --> 00:22:08,677
- Starfish?
463
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,527
- They take their arms and their legs
464
00:22:11,610 --> 00:22:13,310
and they make you do all the work.
465
00:22:17,820 --> 00:22:20,665
You need someone who
will open doors for you,
466
00:22:20,748 --> 00:22:23,677
put her hand on the small of your back,
467
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,727
grab you by the back of
your head, and kiss you,
468
00:22:27,810 --> 00:22:30,157
all the things a girl needs to
make her feel like a woman,
469
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:34,357
and you know that Evan can do that for you.
470
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,097
- Sounds like you're the
one that's in love with her.
471
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:38,107
- Please. Me?
472
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,953
If I wanted Evan, I'd have had her already.
473
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:43,777
Look, I get it, Evan
is our fearless leader,
474
00:22:43,860 --> 00:22:47,437
but she's also in a serious,
longest of terms relationship
475
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,277
with my best friend.
476
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,527
- Ryan, there are delusional states,
477
00:22:50,610 --> 00:22:51,817
and then there's full on psychosis.
478
00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:52,983
- Prove it.
479
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:55,237
Kiss me.
480
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,827
- No, I'm not Bridget.
481
00:22:56,910 --> 00:22:58,057
- You heard about that?
482
00:22:58,140 --> 00:22:59,917
Kissing lessons out of pity?
483
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,087
- It got around.
484
00:23:01,170 --> 00:23:02,767
A concept I'm sure you're familiar with.
485
00:23:02,850 --> 00:23:04,267
- Come on.
486
00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:06,607
Everyone wants to kiss me,
487
00:23:06,690 --> 00:23:08,523
unless they're in love with Evan.
488
00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:13,657
- Once again, you've taken this too far.
489
00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,277
- Let's take it farther.
490
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,017
This is the kind of
initiative you need to show
491
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,453
when you're pursuing women.
492
00:23:20,535 --> 00:23:22,387
(Ryan screams)
493
00:23:22,470 --> 00:23:23,647
Oh my god.
494
00:23:23,730 --> 00:23:26,587
If you weren't you, I'd be
totally turned on right now.
495
00:23:26,670 --> 00:23:29,193
- Please cancel my
subscription to your issues.
496
00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:32,310
- You're not leaving, are you?
497
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,207
- While I appreciate your
attempted analysis of my psyche,
498
00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:39,740
your conclusion couldn't
be further from reality.
499
00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:43,027
- I know you're not telling the truth.
500
00:23:43,110 --> 00:23:44,887
You can lie to me, and you
can lie to the whole world,
501
00:23:44,970 --> 00:23:47,167
but the one person you
can't lie to is yourself.
502
00:23:47,250 --> 00:23:49,657
- On the contrary, I
excel in that department.
503
00:23:49,740 --> 00:23:51,963
And on that note, I bid you adieu.
504
00:23:56,370 --> 00:23:59,523
- Apparently Cleopatra
wasn't the only queen of de-nile.
505
00:24:06,804 --> 00:24:09,217
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
506
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:11,137
- I miss this.
507
00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:13,346
- Yeah, well, don't get any ideas.
508
00:24:13,429 --> 00:24:14,186
- Hm?
509
00:24:14,269 --> 00:24:16,540
- This was a one-time thing.
510
00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:17,572
A one-night stand.
511
00:24:17,655 --> 00:24:20,077
- How do you have a
one-night stand with your wife?
512
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,137
- Until this divorce is final,
we are married in name only.
513
00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:24,877
Wait, you didn't think
514
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,527
we were getting back together, did you?
515
00:24:26,610 --> 00:24:27,360
- Gee, Paige.
516
00:24:27,443 --> 00:24:28,627
When you attacked me
when I walked in the door
517
00:24:28,710 --> 00:24:30,307
and we made mad, passionate love,
518
00:24:30,390 --> 00:24:33,487
yes, I thought maybe our
relationship status was changing.
519
00:24:33,570 --> 00:24:34,597
- So immature.
520
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,580
This is exactly why I'm divorcing you.
521
00:24:38,138 --> 00:24:39,555
- What the fuck?
522
00:24:39,638 --> 00:24:41,587
- Grow up. You know better.
523
00:24:41,670 --> 00:24:43,417
- No, Paige. Tell me.
524
00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:45,037
- Why am I divorcing you?
525
00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:47,257
Maybe it's because you're
never awake before noon.
526
00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:49,117
Or the constant partying.
527
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,677
Or maybe it's the white stuff
528
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:52,087
you're constantly shoving up your nose.
529
00:24:52,170 --> 00:24:53,617
- I'm a nurse.
530
00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:54,757
I have to stay alert.
531
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,647
I keep kids alive.
532
00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,880
- Don't hide behind the pillar of altruism.
533
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,187
- You just stand there and
criticize me, easier for you.
534
00:25:03,270 --> 00:25:04,867
You've never experienced
that kind of pressure.
535
00:25:04,950 --> 00:25:06,757
Yeah, I like nose candy.
536
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,107
- I should have been a bigger priority.
537
00:25:08,190 --> 00:25:09,877
- Than the kids dying
in the pediatric ward?
538
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,887
- Yeah, like when I asked you to quit blow,
539
00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:13,717
you should have, for us.
540
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,007
- For you.
541
00:25:15,090 --> 00:25:16,687
Fuck. Paige, you are so selfish.
542
00:25:16,770 --> 00:25:18,097
Why am I still in love with you?
543
00:25:18,180 --> 00:25:21,130
- Don't ask me, 'cause I am
certainly not in love with you.
544
00:25:24,330 --> 00:25:26,231
- This is heavier than I thought it'd be.
545
00:25:26,314 --> 00:25:28,300
- (Bridget laughs) Well, yeah.
546
00:25:28,383 --> 00:25:30,843
They didn't have refined steel yet, duh.
547
00:25:31,796 --> 00:25:32,917
(Bridget laughs)
548
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,687
By the late 12th century,
549
00:25:34,770 --> 00:25:36,397
so the swords in Western Europe
550
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,517
had evolved into cruciform weapons
551
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,187
with circular wheel pommels, usually,
552
00:25:42,270 --> 00:25:44,527
and normally with a Fuller or blood groove
553
00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:45,810
running down the center.
554
00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:48,480
- I feel like wonder woman.
555
00:25:49,574 --> 00:25:50,614
(Laughs)
556
00:25:50,697 --> 00:25:52,477
- Coffee's ready.
557
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,427
- Can I set this down?
558
00:25:54,510 --> 00:25:56,137
- [Bridget] Only with great caution.
559
00:25:56,220 --> 00:25:57,053
- Ok.
560
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,473
Do I act like I'm attracted to Evan?
561
00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:06,715
- What? No.
562
00:26:06,798 --> 00:26:08,767
Where'd you even get that idea?
563
00:26:08,850 --> 00:26:11,047
- Uh, Ryan believes I'm
secretly in love with her.
564
00:26:11,130 --> 00:26:12,247
- Oh, Ryan.
565
00:26:12,330 --> 00:26:14,917
She certainly has a flare
for the dramatic, doesn't she?
566
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,727
I mean, she should be
writing episodes for "dynasty."
567
00:26:18,771 --> 00:26:23,223
(Laughs) Unless there's
something you're not telling me.
568
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,437
Oh, Ryan. I worry about her.
569
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,467
I mean the situation with her father,
570
00:26:32,550 --> 00:26:35,377
it's like everyone's got something to hide,
571
00:26:35,460 --> 00:26:38,257
like we're all keeping a secret
572
00:26:38,340 --> 00:26:40,953
we desperately need to stay concealed.
573
00:26:41,820 --> 00:26:43,373
- I wouldn't know anything about that.
574
00:26:45,084 --> 00:26:47,467
(Bridget winces and screams)
575
00:26:47,550 --> 00:26:50,707
- How is it that I can
restore ancient weaponry
576
00:26:50,790 --> 00:26:53,377
but I can't make a cup of
coffee without injuring myself?
577
00:26:53,460 --> 00:26:55,537
- Because you focus on things you love,
578
00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:57,427
like weapons and
friends, with such intensity
579
00:26:57,510 --> 00:26:59,947
that not pouring scalding
hot water on yourself
580
00:27:00,030 --> 00:27:01,987
just simply fades into the background.
581
00:27:02,070 --> 00:27:03,607
- Well, maybe I'm just clumsy.
582
00:27:03,690 --> 00:27:05,433
- Well, clumsy on you is adorable.
583
00:27:08,370 --> 00:27:11,223
- You would be such a good girlfriend.
584
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,857
Why don't you start dating?
Put yourself out there?
585
00:27:14,940 --> 00:27:17,977
- I don't believe in the
grand idea of romance.
586
00:27:18,060 --> 00:27:20,160
- Well, surely you've been in love before.
587
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:23,317
- Do you know how to make
the coffee with the foam?
588
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,263
- Don't evade the topic.
589
00:27:29,730 --> 00:27:32,287
- When I was in high school,
590
00:27:32,370 --> 00:27:33,967
there was a girl, Whitney Merritt.
591
00:27:34,050 --> 00:27:35,707
She was a senior, I was a sophomore,
592
00:27:35,790 --> 00:27:38,167
and she would drive me
home every day from school
593
00:27:38,250 --> 00:27:40,850
in her red mustang so I
didn't have to take the bus.
594
00:27:42,180 --> 00:27:44,467
She was the most
beautiful thing I'd ever seen,
595
00:27:44,550 --> 00:27:47,077
and I convinced myself that
we were destined to be together,
596
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,073
and at the end of the school
year, I professed my love.
597
00:27:51,810 --> 00:27:53,317
- And?
598
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,144
- Well, I never heard from her again.
599
00:27:55,227 --> 00:27:57,307
She went to the Hamptons for the summer,
600
00:27:57,390 --> 00:27:59,740
and then straight to a
private women's college.
601
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:01,537
And I'm still looking for her,
602
00:28:01,620 --> 00:28:03,637
but not her specifically,
603
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,707
'cause that would be creepy.
604
00:28:05,790 --> 00:28:06,907
But I'm looking to feel that way
605
00:28:06,990 --> 00:28:09,033
I felt about her with someone else.
606
00:28:10,140 --> 00:28:13,177
In that sense, I guess, I'll
always be chasing Whitney.
607
00:28:13,260 --> 00:28:17,707
- So this is where you got all the angst
608
00:28:17,790 --> 00:28:19,653
that inspired you to become a writer?
609
00:28:20,797 --> 00:28:21,797
- I'm afraid it did.
610
00:28:23,430 --> 00:28:25,957
Yeah, my mom could tell I was
really emotionally devastated,
611
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,357
and we didn't have much,
612
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,367
but she bought me this
used lime green ibook
613
00:28:30,450 --> 00:28:33,067
into which I just poured my soul.
614
00:28:33,150 --> 00:28:35,197
- And through which you began your journey
615
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,777
to becoming one of the
great novelists of our time.
616
00:28:37,860 --> 00:28:39,937
- More like my journey to writing
engagement announcements
617
00:28:40,020 --> 00:28:41,320
and other forms of drivel.
618
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,567
Yeah, what I need is inspiration.
619
00:28:46,650 --> 00:28:48,700
I'm currently stuck in writer's gridlock.
620
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:54,570
- Maybe what you need is to, you know.
621
00:28:56,940 --> 00:28:59,042
- Get laid?
622
00:28:59,125 --> 00:29:01,743
Yeah, that seems to be the consensus.
623
00:29:04,950 --> 00:29:05,783
- Hello, ladies.
624
00:29:06,842 --> 00:29:07,675
- Aw.
625
00:29:11,550 --> 00:29:12,787
- Hello, dear.
626
00:29:12,870 --> 00:29:14,890
Productive day in zee noo Germany?
627
00:29:16,946 --> 00:29:18,755
(Dov chuckles)
628
00:29:18,838 --> 00:29:19,978
- (Gasps) What is it?
629
00:29:20,061 --> 00:29:21,811
- Something medieval.
630
00:29:23,786 --> 00:29:26,453
(Bridget gasps)
631
00:29:28,469 --> 00:29:30,476
Time for a middle east peace conference.
632
00:29:30,559 --> 00:29:31,967
- Ok.
633
00:29:32,050 --> 00:29:34,897
(Tape whirring)
634
00:29:34,980 --> 00:29:35,887
- I have to marry Bridget.
635
00:29:35,970 --> 00:29:37,357
Now. - Why?
636
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:38,790
Did you get her knocked up?
637
00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:40,807
Kidding.
638
00:29:40,890 --> 00:29:42,157
What's the rush?
639
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:43,687
- Dov, when you meet
the girl of your dreams,
640
00:29:43,770 --> 00:29:44,887
and you look into her eyes,
641
00:29:44,970 --> 00:29:46,537
you'll understand that
the most important thing
642
00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:48,273
is never letting her go.
643
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,773
- I wouldn't know
anything about that, either.
644
00:29:54,210 --> 00:29:55,897
- I'm gonna kill myself.
645
00:29:55,980 --> 00:29:57,230
- It's only coffee, Evan.
646
00:30:00,030 --> 00:30:02,167
Oops, you did it again.
647
00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:03,127
Who is she?
648
00:30:03,210 --> 00:30:05,857
- An intern at my father's
campaign headquarters.
649
00:30:05,940 --> 00:30:07,717
- Oh, I hate cliches.
650
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:08,587
How old?
651
00:30:08,670 --> 00:30:09,787
- She's in college.
652
00:30:09,870 --> 00:30:10,620
- Not what I asked.
653
00:30:10,703 --> 00:30:12,217
- 19.
654
00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:13,297
- Oh, you like to play the low numbers.
655
00:30:13,380 --> 00:30:14,380
- I like to win.
656
00:30:14,463 --> 00:30:15,244
- It's not a casino.
657
00:30:15,327 --> 00:30:17,433
- It's a game. It's all a game.
658
00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:19,837
- And I'm just thinking that
659
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,607
if you can't stop screwing around,
660
00:30:21,690 --> 00:30:24,874
you should probably let Bridget
go and find someone else.
661
00:30:24,957 --> 00:30:27,374
(Evan moans)
662
00:30:29,130 --> 00:30:31,147
- I just need her to marry me.
663
00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:32,894
- Do you really feel that marriage
664
00:30:32,977 --> 00:30:35,257
will make you stopped cheating on Bridget?
665
00:30:35,340 --> 00:30:36,457
- Yes.
666
00:30:36,540 --> 00:30:37,884
Hey, this girl, she didn't touch me.
667
00:30:37,967 --> 00:30:39,724
It was a one way street, you understand?
668
00:30:39,807 --> 00:30:41,737
- And you're driving down
it in the wrong direction.
669
00:30:41,820 --> 00:30:42,997
What's your philosophy, Evan?
670
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:44,180
Eating isn't cheating?
671
00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:53,913
- It's entirely historically inaccurate.
672
00:30:56,010 --> 00:30:58,960
And I love it. (Chuckles)
673
00:30:59,043 --> 00:30:59,876
- Baby.
674
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,792
- I'm just gonna wear it all the time.
675
00:31:12,951 --> 00:31:17,951
♪ Floating around in silence ♪
676
00:31:18,081 --> 00:31:23,058
♪ we're hanging on the dream up here ♪
677
00:31:23,141 --> 00:31:28,141
♪ we're floating around in silence ♪
678
00:31:28,348 --> 00:31:33,300
♪ we're hanging on the dream up here ♪
679
00:31:33,383 --> 00:31:38,383
♪ we're floating around in silence ♪
680
00:31:38,642 --> 00:31:41,725
♪ we're hanging on the dream up here ♪
681
00:31:41,808 --> 00:31:42,558
- Hey.
682
00:31:42,641 --> 00:31:44,467
- [Bridget] Hey. Did Dov leave?
683
00:31:44,550 --> 00:31:46,640
- No, she left right after we ate.
684
00:31:46,723 --> 00:31:48,037
- I didn't notice.
685
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:48,953
- Thank you.
686
00:31:50,814 --> 00:31:51,647
- Uh...
687
00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:55,653
Your eyes are blue torch light.
688
00:31:56,910 --> 00:31:58,617
Ice-kissed frostfire.
689
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,447
My wasted heart melts there.
690
00:32:01,530 --> 00:32:02,947
- That's, uh, you know, it's cute,
691
00:32:03,030 --> 00:32:06,327
like a middle school
love note or something.
692
00:32:06,410 --> 00:32:08,317
- Ice-kissed frostfire?
693
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:09,787
You wrote this for me?
694
00:32:09,870 --> 00:32:11,170
- No, you wrote it for me.
695
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,297
Oh, shit. Or didn't you?
696
00:32:14,380 --> 00:32:16,417
- Evan, that's not even my handwriting.
697
00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:18,573
- You're saying you didn't write that?
698
00:32:20,508 --> 00:32:22,028
- Where did you find that?
699
00:32:22,111 --> 00:32:23,056
- Just in the kitchen.
700
00:32:23,139 --> 00:32:24,367
Just over there.
701
00:32:24,450 --> 00:32:25,533
- Somebody wrote it.
702
00:32:26,580 --> 00:32:28,953
Looks like you have a secret admirer.
703
00:32:30,060 --> 00:32:30,810
- They're out of luck,
704
00:32:30,893 --> 00:32:33,180
because I have eyes only for you.
705
00:32:34,891 --> 00:32:38,308
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
706
00:33:18,357 --> 00:33:21,430
(Ladies moaning)
707
00:33:21,513 --> 00:33:23,789
(Telephone rings)
708
00:33:23,872 --> 00:33:24,872
No, no.
709
00:33:24,955 --> 00:33:26,942
Let it ring, let it ring.
710
00:33:27,025 --> 00:33:30,243
(Telephone rings)
711
00:33:30,326 --> 00:33:32,763
- But the answering machine is full.
712
00:33:37,506 --> 00:33:39,037
Hello?
713
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,597
- Hey, Bridget.
714
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:41,553
Is Evan there?
715
00:33:44,610 --> 00:33:45,697
- Evan Dever.
716
00:33:45,780 --> 00:33:48,637
- Evan! It's Ryan.
717
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,797
I'm locked out of my house.
718
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:52,237
- What time is it?
719
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:53,497
- Please!
720
00:33:53,580 --> 00:33:56,167
I was out partying with these Iranian guys.
721
00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:57,247
No offense.
722
00:33:57,330 --> 00:33:58,237
- None taken.
723
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,732
- And we were doing blow all night,
724
00:34:00,815 --> 00:34:02,943
and I got that feeling, you know?
725
00:34:03,912 --> 00:34:05,527
The one that says leave now.
726
00:34:05,610 --> 00:34:08,647
So I got out of there, but
my keys aren't in my clutch,
727
00:34:08,730 --> 00:34:10,867
and I don't wanna go back alone.
728
00:34:10,950 --> 00:34:13,400
I thought maybe since you're Arab...
729
00:34:14,370 --> 00:34:16,447
- Iranians are Persian, not Arab.
730
00:34:16,530 --> 00:34:17,363
- Oh.
731
00:34:18,303 --> 00:34:20,343
Oh, right!
732
00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:23,857
- Don't worry about it.
733
00:34:23,940 --> 00:34:25,297
- I think you can reason with them
734
00:34:25,380 --> 00:34:30,183
since you're, you know, middle eastern?
735
00:34:31,410 --> 00:34:33,037
Please, come get me.
736
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,417
- I'm on my way.
737
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:36,042
- Do you speak Arabic?
738
00:34:36,125 --> 00:34:37,156
- No.
739
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,656
(Evan moans)
740
00:34:41,593 --> 00:34:43,087
(Evan moaning)
741
00:34:43,170 --> 00:34:44,003
- Hello?
742
00:34:46,163 --> 00:34:51,163
(Sirens blaring) (Car horns honking)
743
00:34:57,388 --> 00:34:59,272
(Static crackling)
744
00:34:59,355 --> 00:35:02,438
(Gentle synth music)
745
00:35:04,471 --> 00:35:06,471
(Crickets chirping)
746
00:35:06,554 --> 00:35:08,137
(Car horn honks)
747
00:35:08,220 --> 00:35:10,387
- You were so good at reasoning with them.
748
00:35:10,470 --> 00:35:12,513
Evan Dever, you're my hero.
749
00:35:18,570 --> 00:35:19,627
Do you wanna come inside?
750
00:35:19,710 --> 00:35:21,727
Stay up and party all
night, like the old days?
751
00:35:21,810 --> 00:35:23,710
- I have to be at work in three hours.
752
00:35:24,930 --> 00:35:26,137
How'd you afford this?
753
00:35:26,220 --> 00:35:27,423
- My daddy hates me.
754
00:35:34,391 --> 00:35:35,707
- Hey.
755
00:35:35,790 --> 00:35:36,844
- Hey.
756
00:35:36,927 --> 00:35:39,173
- I live next door. I'm Misha.
757
00:35:39,256 --> 00:35:40,147
- [Evan] Evan.
758
00:35:40,230 --> 00:35:42,457
- Are you Ryan's new girl?
759
00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:44,437
- Oh, no. We're good friends.
760
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:46,027
- That's what they all say.
761
00:35:46,110 --> 00:35:48,513
Can you light me one of those, cowboy?
762
00:35:51,090 --> 00:35:52,417
- How about I give you this one, cowgirl?
763
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:53,333
- Sure.
764
00:35:58,710 --> 00:35:59,557
Thanks.
765
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,687
- Think nothing of it.
766
00:36:01,770 --> 00:36:03,577
- You're up late.
767
00:36:03,660 --> 00:36:04,910
- Uh, yeah, we're just...
768
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,937
- Wanna come over to my place, hang out?
769
00:36:10,020 --> 00:36:11,137
- I have to be up early.
770
00:36:11,220 --> 00:36:13,773
- Ok, well, you know where to find me.
771
00:36:16,185 --> 00:36:17,077
- Hey!
772
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:17,993
Come on.
773
00:36:29,027 --> 00:36:32,694
(Gentle upbeat synth music)
774
00:36:35,130 --> 00:36:36,454
- You know, cocaine is
god's way of telling you
775
00:36:36,537 --> 00:36:37,837
you have too much money.
776
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:39,870
- I don't need god to tell me I'm rich.
777
00:36:41,220 --> 00:36:43,207
- You need to be careful.
778
00:36:43,290 --> 00:36:44,137
I've seen a lot of pretty girls
779
00:36:44,220 --> 00:36:46,057
ruin their looks with this stuff.
780
00:36:46,140 --> 00:36:47,107
- Well, then it's a lucky thing
781
00:36:47,190 --> 00:36:49,207
I don't plan on living past 30.
782
00:36:49,290 --> 00:36:50,120
- You have some on your nose.
783
00:36:50,203 --> 00:36:52,083
- It's ok. I'm gonna keep doing it.
784
00:36:55,140 --> 00:36:56,917
God blessed me with good looks
785
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,327
and cursed me with the knowledge
786
00:36:58,410 --> 00:36:59,797
that they would one day fade.
787
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:01,730
- There's no reason to rush prophecy.
788
00:37:03,300 --> 00:37:04,837
- How come you and I never got together?
789
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,487
- [Evan] We've been over this.
790
00:37:06,570 --> 00:37:09,093
- Come on. We'd be so cute.
791
00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:12,363
- Because a player can't get played.
792
00:37:14,378 --> 00:37:17,045
(Ryan grunting)
793
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,517
- Which one of us is the
player in this scenario?
794
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:22,473
- We both are.
795
00:37:25,650 --> 00:37:27,458
Additionally, I happen to be madly in love
796
00:37:27,541 --> 00:37:30,277
with your best friend, whom
I also plan on marrying.
797
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,827
- What's with you saying whom all the time?
798
00:37:32,910 --> 00:37:34,880
I went to the same school
as you and I can't do that.
799
00:37:34,963 --> 00:37:36,487
- I was paying attention in class.
800
00:37:36,570 --> 00:37:37,927
- [Ryan] I doubt you even showed up.
801
00:37:38,010 --> 00:37:39,007
- I finished four years in three
802
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:41,317
and never even cracked a textbook.
803
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:42,233
- Showoff.
804
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,417
I'm cold.
805
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:47,785
Get on the bed.
806
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,015
I don't know, it's just,
807
00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:02,797
it's nice having someone like me for me.
808
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,280
- Bridget likes you for you.
809
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:06,570
- It's different.
810
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,293
She's not a boy.
811
00:38:10,290 --> 00:38:12,067
You're a boy, Evan.
812
00:38:12,150 --> 00:38:13,951
That's why I called you.
813
00:38:14,034 --> 00:38:15,734
I wanted a boy to take care of me.
814
00:38:21,768 --> 00:38:24,518
We have the best group, don't we?
815
00:38:25,496 --> 00:38:28,493
You're the king, Bridget's the queen.
816
00:38:30,570 --> 00:38:32,557
I'm definitely the Princess.
817
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,147
- What are Dov and trista?
818
00:38:34,230 --> 00:38:35,063
- Hm.
819
00:38:36,090 --> 00:38:38,061
The court jesters.
820
00:38:42,290 --> 00:38:43,147
Hey, Evan?
821
00:38:43,230 --> 00:38:44,677
- Mm-hm?
822
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,148
- There's something I need to tell you.
823
00:38:46,231 --> 00:38:49,161
- You know you can tell me anything.
824
00:38:49,244 --> 00:38:50,494
- You're right.
825
00:38:51,732 --> 00:38:53,899
I can always count on you.
826
00:38:55,348 --> 00:38:58,765
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
827
00:39:01,964 --> 00:39:04,563
Hey, can you stay?
828
00:39:06,210 --> 00:39:07,867
Like at least until I'm asleep?
829
00:39:07,950 --> 00:39:09,867
- That won't be for a few days.
830
00:39:10,830 --> 00:39:12,155
- Fair point.
831
00:39:13,542 --> 00:39:16,092
Do you think you could
at least sleep here tonight?
832
00:39:17,411 --> 00:39:18,757
I'd feel a lot safer.
833
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,367
- You're paranoid from all the coke.
834
00:39:21,450 --> 00:39:22,837
- Do you think Bridget'll mind?
835
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,667
'Cause I can call her
right now and tell her.
836
00:39:24,750 --> 00:39:26,527
- Bridget forced you to
give her kissing lessons.
837
00:39:26,610 --> 00:39:27,876
She'll be fine.
838
00:39:34,042 --> 00:39:35,677
- Hey, Evan?
839
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:36,593
- Mm-hm?
840
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:39,837
- I love you.
841
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:41,839
- I love you too, sweetheart.
842
00:39:43,677 --> 00:39:46,090
- And not in a gay way.
843
00:39:58,076 --> 00:40:00,576
(Dov panting)
844
00:40:07,216 --> 00:40:09,549
(Dov moans)
845
00:40:14,319 --> 00:40:15,402
- No, no, no,
846
00:40:16,950 --> 00:40:18,524
no, no!
847
00:40:18,607 --> 00:40:21,107
(Dov screams)
848
00:40:24,970 --> 00:40:28,192
(Dov screams)
849
00:40:28,275 --> 00:40:30,775
(Phone rings)
850
00:40:36,690 --> 00:40:37,987
Dov isn't here right now.
851
00:40:38,070 --> 00:40:39,607
Would you like to leave a message?
852
00:40:39,690 --> 00:40:40,537
- Where the fuck are you?
853
00:40:40,620 --> 00:40:43,297
You know how much this
party means to Bridget.
854
00:40:43,380 --> 00:40:44,320
- What time is it?
855
00:40:44,403 --> 00:40:46,117
- Were you asleep?
856
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:47,500
Were you dreaming of Evan?
857
00:40:48,430 --> 00:40:49,717
- I hate myself.
858
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,507
- You love someone who doesn't love you.
859
00:40:52,590 --> 00:40:54,817
And I thought writers didn't like cliches.
860
00:40:54,900 --> 00:40:57,247
- It's also a cliche that I hate myself.
861
00:40:57,330 --> 00:40:58,627
- Hang on.
862
00:40:58,710 --> 00:41:00,937
- Dov, you know how much
this party means to Bridget.
863
00:41:01,020 --> 00:41:03,157
- [Ryan] That's what I said.
864
00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:04,117
- I'm dying.
865
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:05,227
- You're not dying.
866
00:41:05,310 --> 00:41:07,057
You just can't think of
anything better to do.
867
00:41:07,140 --> 00:41:08,587
- Tell her to take some gas-x.
868
00:41:08,670 --> 00:41:10,803
- Get dressed and get the fuck over here.
869
00:41:12,730 --> 00:41:14,408
- The king has spoken.
870
00:41:26,522 --> 00:41:28,872
Hello?
871
00:41:32,628 --> 00:41:35,211
(Upbeat music)
872
00:41:40,180 --> 00:41:41,281
- Oh!
873
00:41:41,364 --> 00:41:43,670
You look amazing! This is hilarious!
874
00:41:43,753 --> 00:41:44,832
- [Guest] Thank you.
875
00:41:44,915 --> 00:41:48,196
(Bridget laughs)
876
00:41:48,279 --> 00:41:51,102
- Where's your costume?
This is not good enough.
877
00:41:51,185 --> 00:41:52,335
- Whatever.
878
00:41:53,241 --> 00:41:54,197
- Oh, Ryan!
879
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,215
- You need to wear your glasses.
880
00:41:56,298 --> 00:41:58,237
- Oh, well, they make me look like a nerd,
881
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:00,698
and they're historically inaccurate.
882
00:42:00,781 --> 00:42:02,497
(Ladies laugh)
883
00:42:02,580 --> 00:42:03,727
- Dov is coming.
884
00:42:03,810 --> 00:42:04,844
- Oh, thanks for calling her.
885
00:42:04,927 --> 00:42:06,517
I didn't even realize she wasn't here.
886
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,617
- So apparently my dad is in some kind of
887
00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:10,237
induced coma state.
888
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:11,070
I don't get it.
889
00:42:11,153 --> 00:42:14,227
I thought in Europe they had
laws where they let people die.
890
00:42:14,310 --> 00:42:15,787
- He wants that?
891
00:42:15,870 --> 00:42:17,197
Euthanasia?
892
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:18,637
- Youth in Asia?
893
00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:21,387
What do they have to do with it?
894
00:42:33,337 --> 00:42:36,754
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
895
00:42:40,535 --> 00:42:41,985
- [Man] Hey!
896
00:42:47,918 --> 00:42:49,060
- Dov.
897
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:54,916
- Time for a mid-east summit?
898
00:42:54,999 --> 00:42:56,857
- I need to unburden my conscience.
899
00:42:56,940 --> 00:42:58,140
Do you take confessions?
900
00:42:59,010 --> 00:43:00,427
- Do I look like a priest?
901
00:43:00,510 --> 00:43:02,470
- You look poor and celibate.
902
00:43:04,470 --> 00:43:05,887
- Close enough. What's up?
903
00:43:05,970 --> 00:43:09,067
- It's my intern. Now she
says she's in love with me.
904
00:43:09,150 --> 00:43:11,160
I have to see her every day.
905
00:43:12,704 --> 00:43:13,454
I don't know how to handle it.
906
00:43:13,537 --> 00:43:14,737
- Why don't you be a big boy
907
00:43:14,820 --> 00:43:18,097
and stop committing adultery
with your teenage subordinate?
908
00:43:18,180 --> 00:43:20,287
- It's not adultery unless you're married.
909
00:43:20,370 --> 00:43:21,877
Until Bridget accepts my offer,
910
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:24,003
I have no reason to decline any others.
911
00:43:25,290 --> 00:43:27,817
- I'll tell you what, say three hail Marys,
912
00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:29,557
four our fathers, and
pray that there's a god
913
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,079
who will absolve you of your sins.
914
00:43:32,162 --> 00:43:33,787
- You know what I like about you?
915
00:43:33,870 --> 00:43:34,657
- Can't wait.
916
00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:36,064
- You always tell it like it is.
917
00:43:36,147 --> 00:43:37,263
You never lie.
918
00:43:38,100 --> 00:43:39,157
You're a straight shooter.
919
00:43:39,240 --> 00:43:41,863
- Not so sure about
the straight part, but...
920
00:43:43,453 --> 00:43:48,453
(Upbeat music) (Guests chattering)
921
00:43:50,279 --> 00:43:53,696
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
922
00:44:36,277 --> 00:44:37,689
- Hey, over here.
923
00:44:37,772 --> 00:44:39,275
I want you to meet my neighbor's daughter.
924
00:44:39,358 --> 00:44:40,449
She's Jewish too.
925
00:44:40,532 --> 00:44:41,420
Misha!
926
00:44:41,503 --> 00:44:43,118
Misha!
927
00:44:43,201 --> 00:44:46,057
Misha, this is Dov.
928
00:44:46,140 --> 00:44:48,106
I was telling you about her.
929
00:44:48,189 --> 00:44:49,953
- I like your haircut.
930
00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:53,617
- Thanks. No one never says that.
931
00:44:53,700 --> 00:44:56,853
- Really? That's the first thing I noticed.
932
00:45:01,470 --> 00:45:02,813
- Spectacular.
933
00:45:05,250 --> 00:45:07,083
I like your bonnet.
934
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:10,533
- [Bridget] Um.
935
00:45:12,420 --> 00:45:13,420
Truth.
936
00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:16,999
- What are your numbers?
937
00:45:17,082 --> 00:45:18,157
- [Bridget] Hmm.
938
00:45:18,240 --> 00:45:21,667
Well, I knew I was a
lesbian in high school,
939
00:45:21,750 --> 00:45:23,317
but I didn't come out 'til college,
940
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,017
which is where I met Evan.
941
00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:27,697
But then I moved to Puerto Rico
942
00:45:27,780 --> 00:45:29,137
to live my dad for a few years,
943
00:45:29,220 --> 00:45:30,787
and they're really conservative there,
944
00:45:30,870 --> 00:45:33,037
but I kept in touch with Evan,
945
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:38,120
so eventually she offered
to pay for grad school
946
00:45:38,610 --> 00:45:39,543
if I came back.
947
00:45:41,490 --> 00:45:43,713
- So what's your answer?
948
00:45:44,970 --> 00:45:46,810
- Oh, just Evan.
949
00:45:46,893 --> 00:45:47,643
Just one.
950
00:45:47,726 --> 00:45:49,027
- [Trista] Mm-mm.
951
00:45:49,110 --> 00:45:50,257
- [Trista] No, you're lying.
952
00:45:50,340 --> 00:45:52,390
- [Ryan] She's not. She would've told me.
953
00:45:53,302 --> 00:45:54,937
- [Trista] Do you think about other women?
954
00:45:55,020 --> 00:45:56,017
Well, I mean, yeah.
955
00:45:56,100 --> 00:45:58,250
I think about other women, but I love Evan.
956
00:45:59,190 --> 00:46:00,931
- Wow, that's super-deep.
957
00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:07,443
- Ok, so who's next?
958
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,717
- Uh, Ryan.
959
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,757
- Yes. Dare.
960
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:17,077
- Uh, kiss Evan.
961
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:18,401
- Fuck yeah.
962
00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:29,357
(Ladies laugh)
963
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:30,847
- [Trista] Oopsie Daisy.
964
00:46:30,930 --> 00:46:32,421
- [Ryan] My turn.
965
00:46:35,250 --> 00:46:36,963
Dov. Truth or dare?
966
00:46:38,428 --> 00:46:39,270
- Truth.
967
00:46:39,353 --> 00:46:40,750
- [Ryan] You sure about that?
968
00:46:42,750 --> 00:46:43,583
- No.
969
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:45,353
Dare.
970
00:46:46,620 --> 00:46:47,656
I choose dare.
971
00:46:49,050 --> 00:46:52,217
(Gentle upbeat music)
972
00:46:56,696 --> 00:46:58,138
- [Ryan] Kiss Evan.
973
00:46:58,221 --> 00:47:00,416
(Ladies laugh)
974
00:47:00,499 --> 00:47:01,249
- [Dov] No.
975
00:47:01,332 --> 00:47:02,317
- Kiss Evan. - No.
976
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:03,547
- [Ryan] That's your
dare. You have to do it.
977
00:47:03,630 --> 00:47:04,616
- I'm not.
978
00:47:04,699 --> 00:47:07,436
- Why? Is there something wrong with Evan?
979
00:47:07,519 --> 00:47:08,797
- [Dov] I just don't want to.
980
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:09,667
Give me another dare.
981
00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:10,807
- That's not how it works.
982
00:47:10,890 --> 00:47:12,337
Do you think I wanted to kiss Evan?
983
00:47:12,420 --> 00:47:13,567
- [Dov] Yeah, I think you did.
984
00:47:13,650 --> 00:47:14,947
- Poor example.
985
00:47:15,030 --> 00:47:15,817
- Oh, come on.
986
00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:17,167
You're gonna make her feel bad.
987
00:47:17,250 --> 00:47:19,477
- Stop. She doesn't have to kiss me.
988
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:20,364
- Yes, she does.
989
00:47:20,447 --> 00:47:23,197
If I'd welshed on every
dare I got in high school,
990
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:24,763
I wouldn't be the woman I am today.
991
00:47:24,846 --> 00:47:25,627
(Trista laughs)
992
00:47:25,710 --> 00:47:27,907
- I think you're arguing
against your own point.
993
00:47:27,990 --> 00:47:28,856
- [Evan] Ok.
994
00:47:33,079 --> 00:47:36,247
- Aw! - Aw!
995
00:47:36,330 --> 00:47:38,276
- [Ryan] Good job, Evan.
996
00:47:38,359 --> 00:47:39,723
Was that so bad?
997
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:41,393
- [Trista] Ooh!
998
00:47:48,196 --> 00:47:50,779
(Ladies laugh)
999
00:47:52,590 --> 00:47:53,673
- [Dov] There.
1000
00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:57,014
Bridget, Evan, thank you for having me.
1001
00:47:57,097 --> 00:47:57,847
- [Ryan] Come on!
1002
00:47:57,930 --> 00:47:58,983
You're not leaving.
1003
00:48:00,212 --> 00:48:01,370
- [Ryan] Come back.
1004
00:48:01,453 --> 00:48:02,608
Come back!
1005
00:48:02,691 --> 00:48:03,997
- Aw.
1006
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,798
Bye, Felicia.
1007
00:48:05,881 --> 00:48:08,714
(Ladies laughing)
1008
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,257
Well, that was a plateful of awkward.
1009
00:48:11,340 --> 00:48:12,280
- It was like being kissed
1010
00:48:12,363 --> 00:48:14,402
by a 12-year-old version of myself.
1011
00:48:14,485 --> 00:48:15,697
(Trista laughs)
1012
00:48:15,780 --> 00:48:17,506
Gotta disinfect.
1013
00:48:17,589 --> 00:48:18,885
- Drink it, drink it all. - Disinfect.
1014
00:48:18,968 --> 00:48:19,747
'Cause you're a nurse.
1015
00:48:19,830 --> 00:48:23,483
- Kill the bottle.
- Administer, administer.
1016
00:48:23,566 --> 00:48:24,757
- Here, I got you.
1017
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:26,615
I'm just gonna lick it up.
1018
00:48:32,220 --> 00:48:33,628
- Hey! Wait up!
1019
00:48:34,515 --> 00:48:36,255
- What were you thinking?
1020
00:48:36,338 --> 00:48:38,309
- I did you a favor.
1021
00:48:38,392 --> 00:48:42,008
- You humiliated me.
I'm not in love with Evan!
1022
00:48:42,091 --> 00:48:42,985
What's it gonna take to get that
1023
00:48:43,068 --> 00:48:44,047
through your pretty little skull?
1024
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:46,417
- De-nile ain't just a river in Egypt.
1025
00:48:46,500 --> 00:48:48,307
Maybe one kiss from
your lips is all it would take
1026
00:48:48,390 --> 00:48:51,277
and Evan would decide
to leave Bridget forever.
1027
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:52,567
- If only.
1028
00:48:52,650 --> 00:48:53,887
Aren't you the one who's
supposed to be looking out
1029
00:48:53,970 --> 00:48:55,267
for her best interests?
1030
00:48:55,350 --> 00:48:57,325
- What makes you think I'm not?
1031
00:48:58,260 --> 00:49:00,007
- Where'd that come from?
1032
00:49:00,090 --> 00:49:02,227
- I had lunch at Evan's office last week.
1033
00:49:02,310 --> 00:49:04,177
I got a look at Evan's intern.
1034
00:49:04,260 --> 00:49:05,977
More specifically, I got a look at the way
1035
00:49:06,060 --> 00:49:08,107
that Evan looks at her intern.
1036
00:49:08,190 --> 00:49:10,207
I don't know if she's done anything or not,
1037
00:49:10,290 --> 00:49:12,937
but I know Evan, and I know people,
1038
00:49:13,020 --> 00:49:14,339
and I know that the one thing
1039
00:49:14,422 --> 00:49:16,642
that people never ever do is change.
1040
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:21,277
Listen, this has been
a little too much reality
1041
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:22,177
for one night.
1042
00:49:22,260 --> 00:49:25,117
I like substances, and I like abusing them.
1043
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:26,150
- I don't know, Ry.
1044
00:49:27,150 --> 00:49:30,937
- Some dweezoid left a mondo
of purple urkel at my place.
1045
00:49:31,020 --> 00:49:32,377
It's yours for the taking.
1046
00:49:32,460 --> 00:49:34,177
As am I.
1047
00:49:34,260 --> 00:49:36,067
- Purple urkel?
1048
00:49:36,150 --> 00:49:38,767
- I cordially invite you to
a night of bad decisions
1049
00:49:38,850 --> 00:49:40,400
and debauchery at my apartment.
1050
00:49:41,513 --> 00:49:43,096
(Dov sighs)
1051
00:49:44,940 --> 00:49:46,237
- Then I cordially accept.
1052
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:47,137
But I'm still mad.
1053
00:49:47,220 --> 00:49:49,078
- I can live with that.
1054
00:49:49,161 --> 00:49:50,257
- Are you gonna try to seduce me again?
1055
00:49:50,340 --> 00:49:52,971
- Depends. Do you want me to?
1056
00:49:53,054 --> 00:49:56,709
- Yeah. (Ryan laughs)
1057
00:49:56,792 --> 00:49:59,875
(Upbeat synth music)
1058
00:50:02,009 --> 00:50:04,683
(Neon light zaps)
1059
00:50:04,766 --> 00:50:07,349
(Gong crashes)
1060
00:50:12,180 --> 00:50:13,777
- Hey, jewbu.
1061
00:50:13,860 --> 00:50:15,967
- This isn't Buddha, this is Shiva.
1062
00:50:16,050 --> 00:50:17,917
- I thought you were in
an exclusive relationship
1063
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,200
with the god of Abraham.
1064
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,297
- I took an Asian
philosophy class in college.
1065
00:50:22,380 --> 00:50:23,557
I didn't understand a word of it,
1066
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,477
but it was graded on a curve,
1067
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,603
so I passed with flying colors.
1068
00:50:28,590 --> 00:50:33,487
- And what brought on this
bout of religious bi-curiosity?
1069
00:50:33,570 --> 00:50:35,707
- I'm trying again to write my novel.
1070
00:50:35,790 --> 00:50:38,283
And failing again to come
up with a single word.
1071
00:50:39,690 --> 00:50:41,827
- And how is this ritual helping you?
1072
00:50:41,910 --> 00:50:44,813
- Clearly, you understand
nothing about the writing process.
1073
00:50:47,730 --> 00:50:48,963
- I saw Paige yesterday.
1074
00:50:50,010 --> 00:50:50,843
- How'd it go?
1075
00:50:52,050 --> 00:50:53,200
- I didn't talk to her.
1076
00:50:54,150 --> 00:50:55,867
- You can't keep standing
outside of your old house
1077
00:50:55,950 --> 00:50:57,307
and spying on her.
1078
00:50:57,390 --> 00:50:58,357
- [Trista] Why not?
1079
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:00,757
- What are you afraid of?
1080
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:01,856
- Dying alone.
1081
00:51:02,940 --> 00:51:04,964
- I think we're in the same boat.
1082
00:51:05,047 --> 00:51:07,336
More like a sinking ship.
1083
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:09,637
Except I've long accepted the fact
1084
00:51:09,720 --> 00:51:10,777
that the woman who owns my heart
1085
00:51:10,860 --> 00:51:13,027
will never return my feelings.
1086
00:51:13,110 --> 00:51:15,727
- Which bitch are you in love with?
1087
00:51:15,810 --> 00:51:17,197
- That's between me and my god.
1088
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:19,833
Which god, I haven't decided yet.
1089
00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:23,107
- If you're obsessed with
some unattainable girl,
1090
00:51:23,190 --> 00:51:25,117
you have to profess to her your love.
1091
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:26,887
- I'd rather keep writing
engagement announcements
1092
00:51:26,970 --> 00:51:28,897
for the rest of my natural born life.
1093
00:51:28,980 --> 00:51:30,680
- [Trista] So much irony in that.
1094
00:51:31,530 --> 00:51:32,827
- You could offer me a million dollars
1095
00:51:32,910 --> 00:51:34,537
to write a book right now.
1096
00:51:34,620 --> 00:51:37,207
I wouldn't be able to
come up with a single thing.
1097
00:51:37,290 --> 00:51:39,217
- I know what you need
to write a book about.
1098
00:51:39,300 --> 00:51:41,197
Write a book about a group of lesbians
1099
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,507
who are constantly creating unnecessary
1100
00:51:43,590 --> 00:51:44,617
and neurotic problems
1101
00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:48,367
to keep them from dealing
with their terrifying problems,
1102
00:51:48,450 --> 00:51:49,897
like reality.
1103
00:51:49,980 --> 00:51:52,872
- Come on. No one would read that.
1104
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:00,787
- I'm getting a promotion at the museum.
1105
00:52:00,870 --> 00:52:02,707
- That's so great.
1106
00:52:02,790 --> 00:52:06,757
- And I might even be getting
a fellowship in Romania.
1107
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:10,542
- Are you still gonna have a
big gay republican wedding?
1108
00:52:10,625 --> 00:52:12,007
- God, I don't even wanna think about it.
1109
00:52:12,090 --> 00:52:13,747
- Can I be a bridesmaid?
1110
00:52:13,830 --> 00:52:16,417
No one ever asks me to be a bridesmaid.
1111
00:52:16,500 --> 00:52:20,827
- Ugh, I'm just so unsure.
1112
00:52:20,910 --> 00:52:23,733
- But you and Evan
have a fairytale romance.
1113
00:52:25,064 --> 00:52:27,080
- Oh, I love Evan, I do.
1114
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,364
Ice-kissed frostfire?
1115
00:52:32,380 --> 00:52:33,213
- What?
1116
00:52:34,890 --> 00:52:35,853
- Nothing.
1117
00:52:39,954 --> 00:52:44,954
Ok, someone wrote Evan
an anonymous love note.
1118
00:52:45,660 --> 00:52:46,837
- Oh my god.
1119
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:48,513
- Yeah. - That's so pathetic.
1120
00:52:49,620 --> 00:52:52,137
- You don't know anything about it, do you?
1121
00:52:55,020 --> 00:52:55,853
- Mm.
1122
00:52:56,910 --> 00:52:58,341
That's so good.
1123
00:52:58,424 --> 00:52:59,797
Where'd you learn to make coffee like this?
1124
00:52:59,880 --> 00:53:01,477
- Late nights in stuffy museums.
1125
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:03,397
A person will resort to desperate measures.
1126
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,228
- Desperate measures
is my area of expertise.
1127
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:10,057
- [Bridget] Hey, Ryan. How's your dad?
1128
00:53:10,140 --> 00:53:11,940
- Still hanging on, the old bastard.
1129
00:53:13,530 --> 00:53:15,130
- I'm worried about you.
1130
00:53:16,020 --> 00:53:19,747
You don't seem bothered
that your dad is going to die.
1131
00:53:19,830 --> 00:53:21,517
- I'm very bothered.
1132
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:22,747
Once I collect my inheritance,
1133
00:53:22,830 --> 00:53:25,687
it's gonna put me in an
entirely new tax bracket.
1134
00:53:25,770 --> 00:53:26,677
- Well, that's the other thing.
1135
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:28,863
You seem obsessed with getting his money.
1136
00:53:30,210 --> 00:53:31,863
- Once I become rich,
1137
00:53:33,114 --> 00:53:34,488
and I mean rich, rich,
1138
00:53:35,550 --> 00:53:37,923
I'll never have to work
another day of my life.
1139
00:53:39,450 --> 00:53:41,808
I'll just be tattooing
for shits and giggles.
1140
00:53:44,543 --> 00:53:47,043
Evan's paying your tuition
for grad school, right?
1141
00:53:47,878 --> 00:53:50,287
- Yeah, but it's just temporary.
1142
00:53:50,370 --> 00:53:52,387
When I get my career
going, I'm gonna pay her back.
1143
00:53:52,470 --> 00:53:55,890
- And you're not paying
rent to live with her?
1144
00:53:55,973 --> 00:53:57,487
- I tried.
1145
00:53:57,570 --> 00:54:01,297
I insisted, actually, but
she wouldn't hear of it.
1146
00:54:01,380 --> 00:54:03,397
She refused to take anything from me,
1147
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,295
because we're in love.
1148
00:54:09,459 --> 00:54:11,077
- What a world.
1149
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:12,315
- Yeah.
1150
00:54:12,398 --> 00:54:14,437
The world's crazy, right?
1151
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:15,353
- No.
1152
00:54:17,010 --> 00:54:18,376
I meant yours.
1153
00:54:26,751 --> 00:54:30,351
(Vhs tape whirring)
1154
00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:33,601
(Gentle upbeat music)
1155
00:54:39,900 --> 00:54:41,317
- I'm thinking June 1st.
1156
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:43,207
That'll give you enough time to prepare.
1157
00:54:43,290 --> 00:54:45,667
You'll have a wedding
planner to assist you, of course.
1158
00:54:45,750 --> 00:54:49,207
- I just got a promotion. I
barely have time as it is.
1159
00:54:49,290 --> 00:54:51,037
- I'm thinking a garden wedding.
1160
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:51,997
I can see it now.
1161
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:53,197
Our lesbian nuptials will be
1162
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,507
the republican social
gathering of the year.
1163
00:54:55,590 --> 00:54:59,047
- Do you want a wedding
ceremony or a political gathering
1164
00:54:59,130 --> 00:55:00,607
worthy of CNN coverage?
1165
00:55:00,690 --> 00:55:01,477
- I can see it now.
1166
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,637
The Republicans can
sit on my side of the aisle,
1167
00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:06,757
and since your family isn't coming, sorry,
1168
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:10,098
any wayward democrats
who appear can sit on yours.
1169
00:55:12,747 --> 00:55:14,337
- [Bridget] Ugh.
1170
00:55:14,420 --> 00:55:18,637
- Evan, ok, do you mind if
I say something offensive?
1171
00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:19,957
- Just when I thought this conversation
1172
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:22,189
couldn't get any more interesting.
1173
00:55:22,272 --> 00:55:23,790
- Ok.
1174
00:55:23,873 --> 00:55:24,706
Ok.
1175
00:55:26,130 --> 00:55:29,497
Look, I've never seen
a whiter Arab than you.
1176
00:55:29,580 --> 00:55:31,717
I've never seen a whiter person than you.
1177
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:34,477
I mean, it's all too easy,
with your golden locks,
1178
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:38,163
and your fair skin, to
avoid discrimination.
1179
00:55:39,510 --> 00:55:41,377
- What about you?
1180
00:55:41,460 --> 00:55:42,337
You think in a million years,
1181
00:55:42,420 --> 00:55:44,977
anyone would ever think
you're gay from looking at you?
1182
00:55:45,060 --> 00:55:47,047
Because that's what I have to live with.
1183
00:55:47,130 --> 00:55:50,527
Every person who sees me sees a dyke.
1184
00:55:50,610 --> 00:55:51,907
- [Bridget] It's not a competition.
1185
00:55:51,990 --> 00:55:53,767
- My point is that this
is a case of the pot
1186
00:55:53,850 --> 00:55:55,319
calling the kettle white.
1187
00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:59,977
- As sure as the day is
long, they will fuck you.
1188
00:56:00,060 --> 00:56:03,337
They will fuck you, and me, and every gay,
1189
00:56:03,420 --> 00:56:06,397
and lesbian, and brown, and black person.
1190
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:09,097
You are delusional if you think
1191
00:56:09,180 --> 00:56:11,082
you're gonna come out ahead on this.
1192
00:56:11,165 --> 00:56:14,357
- Now tell me how you really feel.
1193
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:15,273
- Come on.
1194
00:56:17,820 --> 00:56:20,857
- Bridget, that's just background noise.
1195
00:56:20,940 --> 00:56:22,657
Let's get married and start
an exciting new chapter
1196
00:56:22,740 --> 00:56:23,790
in our lives.
1197
00:56:24,989 --> 00:56:27,697
- Do you know many
happily married people, Evan?
1198
00:56:27,780 --> 00:56:28,713
Because I don't.
1199
00:56:31,605 --> 00:56:32,647
(Bridget sighs)
1200
00:56:32,730 --> 00:56:34,469
This house is falling apart.
1201
00:56:34,552 --> 00:56:36,307
- You know, I think you
wanted to redo the house,
1202
00:56:36,390 --> 00:56:37,507
so you threw that Halloween party
1203
00:56:37,590 --> 00:56:39,416
knowing how much damage it would wreak.
1204
00:56:39,499 --> 00:56:42,249
(Bridget laughs)
1205
00:56:43,195 --> 00:56:45,007
- We need to redo the carpets.
1206
00:56:45,090 --> 00:56:46,867
The walls need new paint.
1207
00:56:46,950 --> 00:56:49,558
- I need to get an
estimate on the foundation.
1208
00:56:51,271 --> 00:56:52,104
- Yeah.
1209
00:56:52,980 --> 00:56:54,797
Let's fix the foundation first.
1210
00:56:57,114 --> 00:56:58,280
(Electricity crackles)
1211
00:56:58,363 --> 00:56:59,837
♪ Play that movie ♪
1212
00:56:59,920 --> 00:57:01,813
♪ I want you to smile ♪
1213
00:57:01,896 --> 00:57:03,334
♪ shut all the worries ♪
1214
00:57:03,417 --> 00:57:05,546
♪ dream away for awhile ♪
1215
00:57:05,629 --> 00:57:07,294
♪ the look you had ♪
1216
00:57:07,377 --> 00:57:09,045
♪ in your eyes back then ♪
1217
00:57:09,128 --> 00:57:11,342
♪ we'll pretend ♪
1218
00:57:11,425 --> 00:57:13,440
♪ it's '85 again ♪
1219
00:57:13,523 --> 00:57:14,969
♪ play the tape ♪
1220
00:57:15,052 --> 00:57:17,246
♪ make me feel like I'm home ♪
1221
00:57:17,329 --> 00:57:18,518
♪ take me back again ♪
1222
00:57:18,601 --> 00:57:21,058
♪ to see the look of that chrome ♪
1223
00:57:21,141 --> 00:57:24,355
♪ the power of love is back on the screen ♪
1224
00:57:24,438 --> 00:57:28,021
♪ and we'll have '85 again ♪
1225
00:57:30,899 --> 00:57:33,482
(Upbeat music)
1226
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:57,877
- Ryan, Ryan.
1227
00:57:57,960 --> 00:57:59,647
Your hands are shaking.
- It's freezing in here.
1228
00:57:59,730 --> 00:58:00,907
Would it kill you to pay your heating bill?
1229
00:58:00,990 --> 00:58:01,987
- Just, just...
1230
00:58:02,070 --> 00:58:03,607
No, don't stab out my eye.
1231
00:58:03,690 --> 00:58:05,647
My insurance plan sucks!
1232
00:58:05,730 --> 00:58:06,746
- [Ryan] Damn!
1233
00:58:08,970 --> 00:58:10,220
- [Dov] How is your dad?
1234
00:58:11,380 --> 00:58:13,597
- Ugh! He won't die.
1235
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:16,897
Did I tell you why I
became a tattoo artist?
1236
00:58:16,980 --> 00:58:18,367
It was to punish him.
1237
00:58:18,450 --> 00:58:21,097
I got this fancy degree in art history
1238
00:58:21,180 --> 00:58:22,117
that cost him a fortune,
1239
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:23,617
and now I use it to give people
1240
00:58:23,700 --> 00:58:25,957
something they'll regret
for the rest of their lives,
1241
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,340
like he regrets having me.
1242
00:58:29,460 --> 00:58:32,437
Bridget, you are so beautiful.
1243
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,057
If I were you, I wouldn't
give a second thought
1244
00:58:34,140 --> 00:58:36,007
to the intern at Evan's office.
1245
00:58:36,090 --> 00:58:37,833
You're much prettier than she is.
1246
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:39,990
Oh!
1247
00:58:40,073 --> 00:58:40,906
Excuse me.
1248
00:58:42,300 --> 00:58:45,033
- It's like a "don't do drugs, kids" psa.
1249
00:58:47,888 --> 00:58:50,888
(Upbeat rock music)
1250
00:59:07,736 --> 00:59:08,885
- Attention!
1251
00:59:08,968 --> 00:59:10,417
(Record skips) Attention!
1252
00:59:10,500 --> 00:59:14,253
Ladies and gentlemen and everyone else.
1253
00:59:15,237 --> 00:59:17,557
I have an announcement!
1254
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:19,567
Bridget! Bridget!
1255
00:59:19,650 --> 00:59:20,948
Where are you, baby?
1256
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:24,577
I know most girls...
1257
00:59:24,660 --> 00:59:25,410
Here you go.
1258
00:59:25,493 --> 00:59:28,657
I know most girls lose
their virginity on prom night,
1259
00:59:28,740 --> 00:59:32,669
but tonight, I'm hoping my true love
1260
00:59:32,752 --> 00:59:34,537
will make an honest fella out of me.
1261
00:59:34,620 --> 00:59:36,157
- She's wasted.
1262
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:39,573
- This has been burning a
hole in my pocket for weeks.
1263
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:45,130
Bridget, will you do me
the extraordinary honor
1264
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:48,018
of becoming my bride?
1265
00:59:48,101 --> 00:59:49,747
(Crowd chattering)
1266
00:59:49,830 --> 00:59:51,003
- Evan, you're drunk.
1267
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:54,120
- It's sapphire, to match your eyes.
1268
00:59:56,100 --> 00:59:58,817
- There's something we
need to talk about first.
1269
01:00:03,162 --> 01:00:04,387
What are we gonna do about
1270
01:00:04,470 --> 01:00:06,697
all your late nights at the office?
1271
01:00:06,780 --> 01:00:08,913
- What do you mean? - [Trista] Oh, shit.
1272
01:00:09,750 --> 01:00:11,827
- I'm talking about all
the special attention
1273
01:00:11,910 --> 01:00:14,291
you've been giving your intern.
1274
01:00:14,374 --> 01:00:16,874
(Guests gasp)
1275
01:00:24,476 --> 01:00:25,537
- You told her!
1276
01:00:25,620 --> 01:00:26,370
Why would you tell her?!
1277
01:00:26,453 --> 01:00:28,477
- [Bridget] Evan, stop. Let her go!
1278
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:29,587
Tell me what?
1279
01:00:29,670 --> 01:00:31,023
- It wasn't me!
1280
01:00:36,030 --> 01:00:38,313
- [Bridget] She didn't tell me anything.
1281
01:00:40,290 --> 01:00:42,510
You just told me everything.
1282
01:00:46,925 --> 01:00:49,417
- [Evan] It's all right. She's...
1283
01:00:49,500 --> 01:00:52,050
She's always liked playing hard to get.
1284
01:00:54,684 --> 01:00:56,617
(Record skips) (Music starts again)
1285
01:00:56,700 --> 01:00:58,747
- [Trista] Hey, it's all right.
1286
01:00:58,830 --> 01:01:01,747
It's not a party until
something gets broken.
1287
01:01:01,830 --> 01:01:03,538
- Yeah, like my neck.
1288
01:01:05,005 --> 01:01:07,588
(Upbeat music)
1289
01:01:18,203 --> 01:01:20,044
(Crickets softly chirping)
1290
01:01:29,820 --> 01:01:31,747
- Thanks for letting me stay here.
1291
01:01:31,830 --> 01:01:35,137
I really didn't wanna go home tonight.
1292
01:01:35,220 --> 01:01:36,247
- Are you sure you wanna stay here?
1293
01:01:36,330 --> 01:01:38,596
I mean, I can take the sofa. No problem.
1294
01:01:38,679 --> 01:01:39,429
- Oh, I don't wanna do that to you.
1295
01:01:39,512 --> 01:01:40,497
I don't wanna kick you out of your bed.
1296
01:01:40,580 --> 01:01:43,053
- No, I mean, it's actually totally ok.
1297
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,303
- What is that?
1298
01:01:46,260 --> 01:01:47,985
- Oh, uh, that.
1299
01:01:48,068 --> 01:01:48,818
Oh.
1300
01:01:48,901 --> 01:01:49,651
That's a long story.
1301
01:01:49,734 --> 01:01:50,917
Um...
1302
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:52,837
Also the closest thing I've had to a woman
1303
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:54,697
in my bedroom in a long time,
1304
01:01:54,780 --> 01:01:57,367
well, in this house, in forever.
1305
01:01:57,450 --> 01:01:59,899
- As long as it's not a sex doll.
1306
01:01:59,982 --> 01:02:01,817
- Oh, no. That would be weird.
1307
01:02:01,900 --> 01:02:04,917
- Weirder than having a
mannequin in your bedroom?
1308
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:07,507
(Bridget laughs)
1309
01:02:07,590 --> 01:02:09,997
- When I was in college, I
was a creative writing major
1310
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:12,637
who was thoroughly invested in her art,
1311
01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:15,427
and in hopes of attracting young ladies,
1312
01:02:15,510 --> 01:02:17,377
I came up with this backstory
1313
01:02:17,460 --> 01:02:19,627
that the reason my dad
spiraled into alcoholism
1314
01:02:19,710 --> 01:02:23,647
was because he lost his
job at a mannequin factory.
1315
01:02:23,730 --> 01:02:27,311
- I bet the lady's couldn't resist.
1316
01:02:28,567 --> 01:02:30,097
Is any of that true?
1317
01:02:30,180 --> 01:02:31,683
- Only the alcoholism part.
1318
01:02:32,550 --> 01:02:35,013
Oh, I didn't mean to go there.
1319
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:40,304
While we're on the topic,
would you care for a bourbon?
1320
01:02:40,387 --> 01:02:41,571
- Uh, sure.
1321
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:49,117
Oh, "the dummies' guide to the dark ages."
1322
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:51,104
I didn't know you were into medieval stuff.
1323
01:02:51,187 --> 01:02:53,090
- Uh, yeah, that's...
1324
01:02:55,380 --> 01:02:57,780
- "Let me show you
how a kiss should taste."
1325
01:02:57,863 --> 01:02:59,433
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
1326
01:03:00,270 --> 01:03:01,294
I'm not ready for anyone to see that.
1327
01:03:01,377 --> 01:03:02,671
- Oh, it's still in utero?
1328
01:03:02,754 --> 01:03:05,337
(Dov chuckles)
1329
01:03:16,740 --> 01:03:21,247
Do you have a book full of
photos of Ryan somewhere,
1330
01:03:21,330 --> 01:03:24,817
or maybe a secret stash of photos
1331
01:03:24,900 --> 01:03:26,828
on each one of your friends?
1332
01:03:26,911 --> 01:03:29,163
- No, you're my one and only.
1333
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:33,563
(Silently winces)
1334
01:03:35,010 --> 01:03:37,293
- "Your eyes are blue torch light."
1335
01:03:42,866 --> 01:03:45,082
- "Ice-kissed frostfire."
1336
01:03:46,002 --> 01:03:48,110
- [Both] "My wasted heart melts there."
1337
01:03:50,490 --> 01:03:51,665
- It was you?
1338
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:54,113
- Yeah.
1339
01:03:59,010 --> 01:04:01,822
- You wrote that for Evan.
1340
01:04:01,905 --> 01:04:03,697
- No, no.
1341
01:04:03,780 --> 01:04:05,677
I wrote that for you.
1342
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:08,133
For you to find.
1343
01:04:12,690 --> 01:04:14,377
When you're alone and
you think no one's watching,
1344
01:04:14,460 --> 01:04:17,047
you get this look on your face,
1345
01:04:17,130 --> 01:04:18,247
and I always wonder what you're thinking,
1346
01:04:18,330 --> 01:04:20,767
because you look so sad.
1347
01:04:20,850 --> 01:04:22,831
But your eyes, they just,
1348
01:04:23,932 --> 01:04:26,906
they turn the most
remarkable shade of blue.
1349
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:30,141
- You noticed that?
1350
01:04:31,199 --> 01:04:34,858
- Bridget, nothing about you
has ever escaped my attention.
1351
01:04:41,100 --> 01:04:42,637
- Maybe if you stare at
her house long enough,
1352
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:44,887
she'll decide she doesn't
wanna divorce you anymore.
1353
01:04:44,970 --> 01:04:46,220
- That's what I'm hoping.
1354
01:04:47,910 --> 01:04:49,462
- This is technically trespassing,
1355
01:04:49,545 --> 01:04:53,077
and if we end up in jail,
I'm gonna miss black Friday.
1356
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,507
- [Trista] Calm down. You'll
be out by cyber Monday.
1357
01:04:55,590 --> 01:04:56,648
- What's that?
1358
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:00,877
Hey, trista?
1359
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:02,197
Can you spend the night at my house?
1360
01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:04,387
- What's up with you being
afraid of your apartment?
1361
01:05:04,470 --> 01:05:07,957
- Evan says it's 'cause I'm
paranoid from all the coke.
1362
01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:09,817
Hey, can we talk about something?
1363
01:05:09,900 --> 01:05:10,833
- Shit.
1364
01:05:12,510 --> 01:05:14,136
- [Ryan] What's going on?
1365
01:05:14,219 --> 01:05:15,397
(Trista laughs)
1366
01:05:15,480 --> 01:05:16,443
- Oh, fuck.
1367
01:05:18,300 --> 01:05:19,050
Oh, no.
1368
01:05:19,133 --> 01:05:21,247
No, no, no, no, no, no.
1369
01:05:21,330 --> 01:05:22,417
She's with someone.
1370
01:05:22,500 --> 01:05:23,333
- No way!
1371
01:05:25,290 --> 01:05:27,007
- That bitch.
1372
01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:28,390
- Maybe that's her sister.
1373
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:34,217
I really hope that's not her sister.
1374
01:05:35,875 --> 01:05:37,554
- I've had enough. - Trista, no!
1375
01:05:37,637 --> 01:05:39,008
- Let go of me.
1376
01:05:39,091 --> 01:05:40,349
Stop.
1377
01:05:40,432 --> 01:05:43,732
(Ladies grunting)
1378
01:05:43,815 --> 01:05:45,396
I want to go fight her.
1379
01:05:45,479 --> 01:05:46,312
Oh, shit.
1380
01:05:48,362 --> 01:05:49,987
I'm gonna fight her.
1381
01:05:50,070 --> 01:05:53,210
Jesus Christ, you've got
freakish coke strength.
1382
01:05:53,293 --> 01:05:56,043
(Women grunting)
1383
01:05:59,940 --> 01:06:01,690
Here we go, you're coming with me.
1384
01:06:02,810 --> 01:06:05,843
(Trista groans)
1385
01:06:05,926 --> 01:06:07,013
I've gotta go.
1386
01:06:07,096 --> 01:06:09,346
- No. - I'm gonna fight her.
1387
01:06:10,223 --> 01:06:11,056
Oh my god.
1388
01:06:13,865 --> 01:06:15,247
- I'm performing a friend-tervention.
1389
01:06:15,330 --> 01:06:16,163
- Jesus.
1390
01:06:17,970 --> 01:06:19,077
- Don't move!
1391
01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:22,493
(Footsteps approaching)
1392
01:06:29,250 --> 01:06:31,130
- [Trista] Get off me!
1393
01:06:31,213 --> 01:06:34,117
- You may be stronger
than me, but I am meaner,
1394
01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:36,550
and you are not going into that house.
1395
01:06:36,633 --> 01:06:39,216
(Trista sighs)
1396
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:48,414
- Evan's always been the one, you know?
1397
01:06:48,497 --> 01:06:51,307
I mean I never even
had any other girlfriends
1398
01:06:51,390 --> 01:06:52,627
in high school.
1399
01:06:52,710 --> 01:06:56,731
Believe it or not, I was
kind of a geek. (Chuckles)
1400
01:06:56,814 --> 01:06:59,527
I mean, you know, but
sometimes I do wonder,
1401
01:06:59,610 --> 01:07:02,114
like I think to myself,
1402
01:07:02,197 --> 01:07:04,507
"what if Evan hadn't
picked me up that night?"
1403
01:07:04,590 --> 01:07:07,087
You know, like, I don't
necessarily subscribe
1404
01:07:07,170 --> 01:07:09,037
to m-theory or string theory,
1405
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:11,167
but the very possibility of a multiverse,
1406
01:07:11,250 --> 01:07:12,157
I mean, it's gotta make
you wonder, you know?
1407
01:07:12,240 --> 01:07:14,343
- Well, if you hadn't been with Evan,
1408
01:07:15,390 --> 01:07:16,490
we never would've met.
1409
01:07:17,670 --> 01:07:20,703
- I thought I'd be angry, furious, upset.
1410
01:07:22,020 --> 01:07:26,493
Instead, I just feel emptiness.
1411
01:07:29,068 --> 01:07:30,901
Speaking of emptiness.
1412
01:07:37,500 --> 01:07:40,987
- The reason I spend so
much time around Evan,
1413
01:07:41,070 --> 01:07:46,070
it's because wherever
she is, you're there too.
1414
01:07:46,650 --> 01:07:47,400
- Huh?
1415
01:07:47,483 --> 01:07:50,287
- And I think the reason
I'm not dating anyone
1416
01:07:50,370 --> 01:07:52,720
or looking to meet anyone is because
1417
01:07:54,300 --> 01:07:56,763
to me, you are perfect.
1418
01:07:58,256 --> 01:07:59,733
- Oh my god.
1419
01:07:59,816 --> 01:08:02,397
- Since the moment I met you, I've...
1420
01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:05,670
I've been secretly madly
1421
01:08:09,480 --> 01:08:10,833
in love with you.
1422
01:08:14,850 --> 01:08:16,500
- How could I not have seen that?
1423
01:08:21,450 --> 01:08:23,206
How could I not have seen you?
1424
01:08:23,289 --> 01:08:27,727
- I wish I could just cut
you into a million pieces
1425
01:08:27,810 --> 01:08:31,413
and scatter you across the
sky, and count you like stars.
1426
01:08:32,910 --> 01:08:37,507
- I think that is the most romantic thing
1427
01:08:37,590 --> 01:08:39,763
anyone has ever said to me.
1428
01:08:44,962 --> 01:08:48,379
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
1429
01:09:08,920 --> 01:09:11,920
- I loved you since the moment I saw you.
1430
01:09:12,003 --> 01:09:15,949
Not a day has gone by
that I haven't dreamt of this.
1431
01:09:16,032 --> 01:09:19,449
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
1432
01:09:21,990 --> 01:09:24,657
(Bridget gasps)
1433
01:09:25,917 --> 01:09:27,487
- I'm sorry.
1434
01:09:27,570 --> 01:09:29,694
I don't know why I did that.
1435
01:09:29,777 --> 01:09:31,360
- You're a goddess.
1436
01:09:33,852 --> 01:09:38,852
(Upbeat music) (Couple panting)
1437
01:10:06,580 --> 01:10:08,997
(Dov laughs)
1438
01:10:12,167 --> 01:10:16,336
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
1439
01:10:17,627 --> 01:10:18,760
- The bra!
1440
01:10:20,602 --> 01:10:21,435
- Help me.
1441
01:10:23,844 --> 01:10:26,344
(Dress rips)
1442
01:10:30,743 --> 01:10:33,576
(Bridget moaning)
1443
01:10:51,180 --> 01:10:53,822
You're the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
1444
01:10:59,095 --> 01:11:01,595
(Synth music)
1445
01:11:08,324 --> 01:11:11,574
(TV signal crackles)
1446
01:11:19,440 --> 01:11:21,006
Hey.
1447
01:11:21,089 --> 01:11:21,922
- Hey.
1448
01:11:28,817 --> 01:11:30,650
Wait. I wanna see you.
1449
01:11:37,443 --> 01:11:38,610
There you are.
1450
01:11:52,031 --> 01:11:54,624
(Knocking on door)
1451
01:11:54,707 --> 01:11:55,583
- Trista?
1452
01:11:55,666 --> 01:11:56,549
- [Evan] It's Evan.
1453
01:11:56,632 --> 01:11:59,891
- (Gasps) How is she here?
1454
01:11:59,974 --> 01:12:01,498
- I don't know. No one locked the door.
1455
01:12:01,581 --> 01:12:02,331
Uh, hold on.
1456
01:12:02,414 --> 01:12:03,339
(Toe bangs)
1457
01:12:03,422 --> 01:12:04,369
Ah, shit!
1458
01:12:05,912 --> 01:12:07,662
Hang on for a minute!
1459
01:12:12,433 --> 01:12:16,683
- A thousand pardons
for my behavior last night.
1460
01:12:18,450 --> 01:12:20,587
I know you are not the
one who told Bridget,
1461
01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:23,430
I- I know you wouldn't do that.
1462
01:12:23,513 --> 01:12:27,187
- Hey, um, now is not
the best time right now.
1463
01:12:27,270 --> 01:12:28,447
If you know what I mean.
1464
01:12:28,530 --> 01:12:29,363
- Hm?
1465
01:12:31,177 --> 01:12:32,887
Oh, shit. Oh.
1466
01:12:32,970 --> 01:12:34,855
You have a girl back there?
1467
01:12:34,938 --> 01:12:36,397
- Yeah.
1468
01:12:36,480 --> 01:12:38,767
Yeah, I can't wait
to tell you all about it.
1469
01:12:38,850 --> 01:12:40,177
- I gotta tell you, I always
wondered about you.
1470
01:12:40,260 --> 01:12:42,127
I thought maybe you were
one of those straight girls
1471
01:12:42,210 --> 01:12:43,807
who pretends to be gay because she thinks
1472
01:12:43,890 --> 01:12:45,280
it makes her more interesting.
1473
01:12:45,363 --> 01:12:47,425
- Oh, Evan. You have no idea.
1474
01:12:47,508 --> 01:12:48,457
- Oh.
1475
01:12:48,540 --> 01:12:51,140
Hey, just confirm for me
that it's a woman in there.
1476
01:12:59,490 --> 01:13:01,353
- Uh, this isn't what it looks like.
1477
01:13:02,700 --> 01:13:04,750
- It looks like you fucked my girlfriend.
1478
01:13:06,810 --> 01:13:09,843
- Then it's exactly what it looks like.
1479
01:13:11,310 --> 01:13:13,323
- You know it wasn't her idea, Evan.
1480
01:13:16,830 --> 01:13:18,667
- I know that if we fight you'll win,
1481
01:13:18,750 --> 01:13:21,277
but I will inflict as much
damage on you as possible
1482
01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:22,657
before you bring me down,
1483
01:13:22,740 --> 01:13:23,647
and you will have to kill me
1484
01:13:23,730 --> 01:13:25,630
before I let you go anywhere near her.
1485
01:13:28,980 --> 01:13:30,217
- You got a lot of...
1486
01:13:30,300 --> 01:13:33,257
What is that word you people use? Chutzpah?
1487
01:13:34,725 --> 01:13:35,975
Yeah, chutzpah.
1488
01:13:37,212 --> 01:13:38,636
- Stop it, Evan.
1489
01:13:38,719 --> 01:13:40,469
- Do not speak to me!
1490
01:13:45,180 --> 01:13:47,993
Do not ever come back to my house again.
1491
01:13:49,807 --> 01:13:52,557
I don't ever wanna see your face.
1492
01:14:22,618 --> 01:14:26,035
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
1493
01:14:46,458 --> 01:14:47,291
- Hey.
1494
01:14:48,630 --> 01:14:50,107
Hey!
1495
01:14:50,190 --> 01:14:51,513
- Hey, sleepy head.
1496
01:14:52,500 --> 01:14:53,553
- What time is it?
1497
01:14:54,660 --> 01:14:56,227
- Time for me to go to work.
1498
01:14:56,310 --> 01:14:59,017
I'll be in so much
trouble if I'm late again.
1499
01:14:59,100 --> 01:15:00,577
- How long have I been here?
1500
01:15:00,660 --> 01:15:03,641
- Hello? Since we got back.
1501
01:15:03,724 --> 01:15:04,827
- Wait.
1502
01:15:04,910 --> 01:15:08,017
We went to Paige's, you tackled me,
1503
01:15:08,100 --> 01:15:12,277
and why don't I remember
anything after that?
1504
01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:15,187
- We came back here
and you were super upset
1505
01:15:15,270 --> 01:15:17,467
and I have some Diazepam, so-
1506
01:15:17,550 --> 01:15:19,027
- how much did you give me?
1507
01:15:19,110 --> 01:15:20,943
- You asked for a loading dose.
1508
01:15:21,026 --> 01:15:21,787
- Fuck.
1509
01:15:21,870 --> 01:15:22,747
- And I don't play.
1510
01:15:22,830 --> 01:15:24,637
So I got out these old pharmacy textbooks,
1511
01:15:24,720 --> 01:15:26,197
and I asked you your weight,
1512
01:15:26,280 --> 01:15:28,417
and I added 20 pounds,
1513
01:15:28,500 --> 01:15:32,341
because I know I always take
off 20 when anyone asks me.
1514
01:15:32,424 --> 01:15:33,337
- I gotta get out of here.
1515
01:15:33,420 --> 01:15:34,503
- I wouldn't do that.
1516
01:15:35,362 --> 01:15:36,547
(Crash)
1517
01:15:36,630 --> 01:15:37,463
Oh, no.
1518
01:15:45,393 --> 01:15:47,883
Like I said, loading dose.
1519
01:15:48,780 --> 01:15:49,743
Up we go.
1520
01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:54,780
- This is why my wife left me.
1521
01:15:54,863 --> 01:15:56,587
(Ryan grunts)
1522
01:15:56,670 --> 01:15:59,287
No one should have to live like this.
1523
01:15:59,370 --> 01:16:01,820
- I'm declining my
invitation to your pity party.
1524
01:16:04,950 --> 01:16:08,433
- This is like whatever
happened to baby Jane.
1525
01:16:09,740 --> 01:16:10,897
And I'm baby Jane!
1526
01:16:10,980 --> 01:16:12,727
- If the rule that you
followed led you here,
1527
01:16:12,810 --> 01:16:14,613
of what use was the rule?
1528
01:16:18,723 --> 01:16:22,957
- Don't you dare get existential on me now.
1529
01:16:23,040 --> 01:16:25,953
- You're Monday-morning
quarterbacking your entire life.
1530
01:16:52,800 --> 01:16:53,633
- Shoot!
1531
01:16:58,095 --> 01:17:00,067
(Evan clears throat) (Bridget gasps)
1532
01:17:00,150 --> 01:17:01,053
You scared me.
1533
01:17:02,010 --> 01:17:03,397
I thought you'd be sleeping.
1534
01:17:03,480 --> 01:17:05,313
- I've reverted to my old schedule.
1535
01:17:06,150 --> 01:17:08,973
Sleep by day, live by night.
1536
01:17:11,280 --> 01:17:13,087
- What about your job?
1537
01:17:13,170 --> 01:17:15,277
- [Evan] I haven't been going.
1538
01:17:15,360 --> 01:17:16,193
- Why?
1539
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:21,547
- My dad took a contribution
from an organization
1540
01:17:21,630 --> 01:17:24,637
whose leader once said that
gays should be rounded up
1541
01:17:24,720 --> 01:17:25,953
and thrown off cliffs.
1542
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:27,950
- Are you quitting?
1543
01:17:31,352 --> 01:17:32,602
- I don't know.
1544
01:17:34,449 --> 01:17:37,807
- I moved in with Ryan.
1545
01:17:37,890 --> 01:17:38,733
- I heard.
1546
01:17:39,870 --> 01:17:40,867
Will I also be footing the bill
1547
01:17:40,950 --> 01:17:42,513
for your share of Ryan's rent?
1548
01:17:43,489 --> 01:17:45,127
- I don't have to listen to this.
1549
01:17:45,210 --> 01:17:46,043
- Sweets.
1550
01:17:47,850 --> 01:17:49,650
You couldn't ignore me if you tried.
1551
01:17:50,700 --> 01:17:52,357
- Don't throw that in my face.
1552
01:17:52,440 --> 01:17:55,327
- What? I've been paying
for your Ivy league education?
1553
01:17:55,410 --> 01:17:56,797
Or that I have supported you for years,
1554
01:17:56,880 --> 01:17:58,833
and I've only asked you for one,
1555
01:18:00,087 --> 01:18:02,227
one thing in return?!
1556
01:18:02,310 --> 01:18:05,287
- How could I marry someone
who did what you did to me?
1557
01:18:05,370 --> 01:18:06,347
- I did nothing to you.
1558
01:18:06,430 --> 01:18:07,267
- Yeah, that's right.
1559
01:18:07,350 --> 01:18:08,827
You were too busy doing it to someone else.
1560
01:18:08,910 --> 01:18:10,444
- You let Dov fuck you.
1561
01:18:10,527 --> 01:18:12,907
And I know it wasn't the other
way around, pillow Princess.
1562
01:18:12,990 --> 01:18:15,430
You've always been more of a taker.
1563
01:18:16,860 --> 01:18:20,587
- You have fucked everyone and everything,
1564
01:18:20,670 --> 01:18:23,373
and you've been doing
it since the day we met.
1565
01:18:24,330 --> 01:18:25,163
And I...
1566
01:18:27,150 --> 01:18:29,047
I loved you too much to admit to myself
1567
01:18:29,130 --> 01:18:30,067
what I knew to be true.
1568
01:18:30,150 --> 01:18:31,927
- Loved me, or you needed me?
1569
01:18:32,010 --> 01:18:33,752
Which one, Bridget?
1570
01:18:33,835 --> 01:18:35,377
You love me?
1571
01:18:35,460 --> 01:18:37,987
It's very easy to be
taken care of, isn't it?
1572
01:18:38,070 --> 01:18:40,537
It makes it so much
easier not to see the things
1573
01:18:40,620 --> 01:18:42,060
you don't want to.
1574
01:18:44,130 --> 01:18:44,880
What changed it for you?
1575
01:18:44,963 --> 01:18:47,527
What made you go, "you
know, I had a really great time
1576
01:18:47,610 --> 01:18:48,817
not having to work for anything,
1577
01:18:48,900 --> 01:18:49,987
but now I think I'm gonna get rid of
1578
01:18:50,070 --> 01:18:51,627
good ol' reliable Evan"?
1579
01:18:54,030 --> 01:18:56,043
- I fucking love you.
1580
01:18:57,050 --> 01:19:00,277
I've loved you since I was 18 years old.
1581
01:19:00,360 --> 01:19:02,077
Not a day has gone by since
1582
01:19:02,160 --> 01:19:04,867
that you haven't been
the love of my fucking life.
1583
01:19:04,950 --> 01:19:07,477
I know you're a cheater!
I know you screw around!
1584
01:19:07,560 --> 01:19:09,800
That is why I wouldn't marry you.
1585
01:19:09,883 --> 01:19:12,577
- I will stop fucking around
when I have tangible proof
1586
01:19:12,660 --> 01:19:13,710
that you're not in this for the free ride.
1587
01:19:13,793 --> 01:19:15,817
- You had something better than tangible!
1588
01:19:15,900 --> 01:19:18,217
You had something real!
1589
01:19:18,300 --> 01:19:20,393
- You're discussing this in the past tense.
1590
01:19:21,352 --> 01:19:23,183
It doesn't get any more real than that.
1591
01:19:24,330 --> 01:19:27,632
You know what, just shut up for a second.
1592
01:19:27,715 --> 01:19:29,132
Shut the fuck up.
1593
01:19:31,490 --> 01:19:33,540
Or maybe it was your guilt that was real.
1594
01:19:35,610 --> 01:19:38,377
- And why would I feel guilty, Evan?
1595
01:19:38,460 --> 01:19:41,137
- I've always been there for
you when no one else was.
1596
01:19:41,220 --> 01:19:43,613
Maybe you're guilting
yourself into staying with me.
1597
01:19:46,585 --> 01:19:48,153
- Stupid!
1598
01:19:48,236 --> 01:19:50,770
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
1599
01:19:50,853 --> 01:19:51,686
I...
1600
01:19:52,800 --> 01:19:54,757
You are telling me that
you've been fucking around
1601
01:19:54,840 --> 01:19:56,197
this whole time because you thought
1602
01:19:56,280 --> 01:19:59,527
I felt I owed you something?
1603
01:19:59,610 --> 01:20:01,597
That I was using you?
1604
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:03,835
And all you had to do was ask me
1605
01:20:03,918 --> 01:20:07,143
and I would have told you
that none of that was true.
1606
01:20:11,610 --> 01:20:12,543
I love you.
1607
01:20:14,670 --> 01:20:17,433
I love you, I love you, I love you!
1608
01:20:23,416 --> 01:20:25,507
Say something.
1609
01:20:31,380 --> 01:20:32,880
- Good luck in the real world.
1610
01:20:50,910 --> 01:20:52,583
- This is the part where I leave you.
1611
01:21:07,814 --> 01:21:10,314
(Locks turn)
1612
01:21:11,771 --> 01:21:13,045
(Door slams)
1613
01:21:19,534 --> 01:21:22,951
(Upbeat synth-pop music)
1614
01:21:39,217 --> 01:21:44,217
"The shipwreck diaries:
A novel by Dov Dolenz."
1615
01:21:47,100 --> 01:21:48,603
You wrote a book?
1616
01:21:52,140 --> 01:21:52,973
- Yeah.
1617
01:21:54,376 --> 01:21:55,877
- Let's go read it.
1618
01:21:55,960 --> 01:21:56,793
- Ok.
1619
01:22:09,986 --> 01:22:11,047
- Dov.
1620
01:22:11,130 --> 01:22:11,963
- Yeah?
1621
01:22:13,740 --> 01:22:14,913
- This is amazing.
1622
01:22:16,530 --> 01:22:17,677
- Are you sure?
1623
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:19,507
I mean, I've had women say that before,
1624
01:22:19,590 --> 01:22:22,566
but I haven't always
trusted their sincerity.
1625
01:22:22,649 --> 01:22:24,397
- Yes.
1626
01:22:24,480 --> 01:22:25,477
This is so exciting.
1627
01:22:25,560 --> 01:22:26,800
I mean, you wrote a book.
1628
01:22:26,883 --> 01:22:27,937
- Ugh, I'll be back to writing
1629
01:22:28,020 --> 01:22:29,467
engagement announcements tomorrow.
1630
01:22:29,550 --> 01:22:30,300
- Yeah, maybe.
1631
01:22:30,383 --> 01:22:32,343
But this book is gonna be big.
1632
01:22:33,780 --> 01:22:35,553
When did you do this?
1633
01:22:36,480 --> 01:22:37,957
- The last three nights, I just stayed up.
1634
01:22:38,040 --> 01:22:39,363
It was pouring out of me.
1635
01:22:40,320 --> 01:22:41,153
And it was you.
1636
01:22:43,050 --> 01:22:45,983
Bridget, I couldn't have
written this if it wasn't for you.
1637
01:22:52,099 --> 01:22:52,932
- Dov.
1638
01:23:06,026 --> 01:23:09,609
(Couple breathing heavily)
1639
01:23:28,317 --> 01:23:30,723
- Can I be godmother to your finger babies?
1640
01:23:33,390 --> 01:23:34,223
- Very funny.
1641
01:23:44,580 --> 01:23:47,197
I need to share this book with Ryan.
1642
01:23:47,280 --> 01:23:48,030
- No.
1643
01:23:48,113 --> 01:23:48,946
- I gotta show her.
1644
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:53,730
Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes.
1645
01:24:09,473 --> 01:24:10,556
I'll be back.
1646
01:24:17,850 --> 01:24:22,787
Ryan, Dov wrote a
novel, and it's really good.
1647
01:24:22,870 --> 01:24:24,037
- "The shipwreck diaries"
1648
01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:26,257
I loved that when I was a kid.
1649
01:24:26,340 --> 01:24:29,163
- This is Dov's book.
1650
01:24:30,420 --> 01:24:31,297
- Gotta split.
1651
01:24:31,380 --> 01:24:33,310
One of my friends is waiting on me.
1652
01:24:33,393 --> 01:24:35,482
Have I gotten any messages?
1653
01:24:35,565 --> 01:24:36,408
Is my dad dead?
1654
01:24:36,491 --> 01:24:37,417
(Chuckles) Dad, dead.
1655
01:24:37,500 --> 01:24:38,467
- Ryan, are these the new friends
1656
01:24:38,550 --> 01:24:39,847
that Evan had to save you from?
1657
01:24:39,930 --> 01:24:42,753
- Oh, that Evan. Telling
tales out of school.
1658
01:24:49,560 --> 01:24:51,093
- She's falling apart.
1659
01:24:51,960 --> 01:24:54,183
- Hey. Even the Sistine chapel's crumbling.
1660
01:24:55,800 --> 01:24:56,633
- Yeah.
1661
01:24:58,170 --> 01:25:03,097
Dov, your book, um...
1662
01:25:03,180 --> 01:25:04,477
- Second thoughts?
1663
01:25:04,560 --> 01:25:06,397
Not as great as you thought
it was five minutes ago?
1664
01:25:06,480 --> 01:25:07,447
- It's amazing.
1665
01:25:07,530 --> 01:25:10,563
It's just the characters.
1666
01:25:12,030 --> 01:25:13,807
It's us, right? The gang?
1667
01:25:13,890 --> 01:25:17,317
You, me, trista, Evan, Ryan?
1668
01:25:17,400 --> 01:25:20,253
- Oh, yeah. But I'm not
anticipating any lawsuits.
1669
01:25:21,750 --> 01:25:25,353
- And I'm Kahlan, and you're Cara.
1670
01:25:26,760 --> 01:25:28,418
- Pretty obvious, huh?
1671
01:25:28,501 --> 01:25:29,557
- And Kahlan and Cara,
1672
01:25:29,640 --> 01:25:31,687
they wind up together in the end, right?
1673
01:25:31,770 --> 01:25:34,027
Specifically, moving in
together and getting married?
1674
01:25:34,110 --> 01:25:34,860
- Oh, right.
1675
01:25:34,943 --> 01:25:37,567
But Bridget, it's just a book.
1676
01:25:37,650 --> 01:25:40,743
I've been up the past two days, three days.
1677
01:25:42,960 --> 01:25:45,092
It's all artistic license.
1678
01:25:45,175 --> 01:25:48,337
- I know, Dov.
1679
01:25:48,420 --> 01:25:50,163
I just need you to understand.
1680
01:25:52,140 --> 01:25:54,243
I just got out of a really bad situation.
1681
01:25:55,920 --> 01:25:58,237
Is this what you think
this is? A bad situation?
1682
01:25:58,320 --> 01:26:01,173
- No, no, it's not.
1683
01:26:02,280 --> 01:26:03,633
It's wonderful.
1684
01:26:05,190 --> 01:26:07,593
But it's still a situation.
1685
01:26:11,430 --> 01:26:12,263
- Ok.
1686
01:26:13,800 --> 01:26:15,367
- That night when I found out
1687
01:26:15,450 --> 01:26:17,917
you'd written "blue torchlight" for me,
1688
01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:20,313
and then you wrote
another poem on the spot,
1689
01:26:21,630 --> 01:26:24,997
and beautiful words were
just coming out of you.
1690
01:26:25,080 --> 01:26:27,287
Beautiful words always come out of you.
1691
01:26:27,370 --> 01:26:32,370
And I just got so lost in
everything that you were saying,
1692
01:26:33,060 --> 01:26:35,437
and in everything that you are, and-
1693
01:26:35,520 --> 01:26:37,023
- and I'm really good in bed.
1694
01:26:41,325 --> 01:26:45,663
- It's easy to fall in love with someone.
1695
01:26:48,540 --> 01:26:53,540
Falling out of love, that is a lot harder.
1696
01:26:55,890 --> 01:26:58,040
- It always comes back to Evan, doesn't it?
1697
01:27:00,870 --> 01:27:01,880
- I wish...
1698
01:27:07,080 --> 01:27:09,543
I wish I could forget,
1699
01:27:10,500 --> 01:27:15,303
but she's been the love of my life.
1700
01:27:22,830 --> 01:27:24,114
- Ok.
1701
01:27:24,197 --> 01:27:25,413
Uh, no, I understand.
1702
01:27:27,600 --> 01:27:29,043
You gave me the inspiration.
1703
01:27:30,600 --> 01:27:33,423
I got the book, but I lost the girl.
1704
01:27:34,590 --> 01:27:39,157
- You are gonna get so
much more out of this book
1705
01:27:39,240 --> 01:27:40,803
than you ever would out of me.
1706
01:27:42,330 --> 01:27:43,893
- I respectfully disagree.
1707
01:27:50,940 --> 01:27:52,263
- I don't wanna lose you.
1708
01:27:55,853 --> 01:27:56,703
I need you.
1709
01:28:03,540 --> 01:28:05,095
- I need you, too.
1710
01:28:05,178 --> 01:28:09,677
♪ No hard feelings, we're all right ♪
1711
01:28:09,760 --> 01:28:13,510
♪ say what you want me to do ♪
1712
01:28:14,610 --> 01:28:16,747
- Nobody understands
the rules for the brat pack.
1713
01:28:16,830 --> 01:28:18,607
The rules for the brat pack are
1714
01:28:18,690 --> 01:28:21,877
a: Starring in either "Saint elmo's fire"
1715
01:28:21,960 --> 01:28:22,987
or "the breakfast club,"
1716
01:28:23,070 --> 01:28:25,297
and b: Being in at least one other movie
1717
01:28:25,380 --> 01:28:26,587
with another brat packer.
1718
01:28:26,670 --> 01:28:28,837
So that's eight people:
1719
01:28:28,920 --> 01:28:33,757
Judd Nelson, Rob Lowe, Molly Ringwald,
1720
01:28:33,840 --> 01:28:35,677
Anthony Michael hall, Emilio Estevez,
1721
01:28:35,760 --> 01:28:37,353
ally sheedy, Andrew McCarthy,
1722
01:28:38,220 --> 01:28:41,617
and last, but certainly
not least, Demi Moore.
1723
01:28:41,700 --> 01:28:42,577
- Who didn't make the cut?
1724
01:28:42,660 --> 01:28:44,017
- Mare winningham.
1725
01:28:44,100 --> 01:28:46,327
Mare was in "St. elmo's fire,"
1726
01:28:46,410 --> 01:28:49,173
but never in another movie
with another brat packer.
1727
01:28:53,940 --> 01:28:56,347
- Mare winningham? Who's he?
1728
01:28:56,430 --> 01:28:57,967
- Oh my god.
1729
01:28:58,050 --> 01:28:59,850
I don't even know why I talk to you.
1730
01:29:01,170 --> 01:29:03,757
- Whenever you start
talking about pistachios and-
1731
01:29:03,840 --> 01:29:05,827
- pastiche and intertextuality.
1732
01:29:05,910 --> 01:29:07,528
- Right, intertextuality.
1733
01:29:07,611 --> 01:29:08,437
(Phone rings) It sounds like
1734
01:29:08,520 --> 01:29:10,657
a new sexual orientation.
1735
01:29:10,740 --> 01:29:13,394
- If you were on the table
of elements, you'd be moron.
1736
01:29:13,477 --> 01:29:15,977
(Phone rings)
1737
01:29:20,185 --> 01:29:21,352
Yeah, it's me!
1738
01:29:31,111 --> 01:29:32,175
(Ryan sniffles)
1739
01:29:32,258 --> 01:29:33,925
- Is your phone hot?
1740
01:29:43,647 --> 01:29:46,230
(Somber music)
1741
01:29:50,281 --> 01:29:51,114
- Evan?
1742
01:29:57,060 --> 01:29:57,893
Evan.
1743
01:30:02,337 --> 01:30:03,170
Evan?
1744
01:30:10,331 --> 01:30:11,164
Evan.
1745
01:30:13,255 --> 01:30:14,088
Evan.
1746
01:30:16,950 --> 01:30:19,207
Hey, Evan.
1747
01:30:19,290 --> 01:30:20,193
Come on, wake up.
1748
01:30:23,583 --> 01:30:24,416
Evan.
1749
01:30:35,984 --> 01:30:38,401
(Evan gasps)
1750
01:30:40,050 --> 01:30:41,137
I had to.
1751
01:30:41,220 --> 01:30:45,897
- Why are you here again?!
1752
01:30:47,310 --> 01:30:48,143
Fuck!
1753
01:30:49,320 --> 01:30:50,977
Nice, she-ra.
1754
01:30:51,060 --> 01:30:52,506
- It's invaluable, ok?
1755
01:30:52,589 --> 01:30:53,947
I couldn't leave it in the car.
1756
01:30:54,030 --> 01:30:56,257
- It's nice to know you
Cherish something so dearly.
1757
01:30:56,340 --> 01:30:57,937
- Why haven't you been taking my calls?
1758
01:30:58,020 --> 01:31:01,477
- I'm focused on the future, not the past.
1759
01:31:01,560 --> 01:31:03,457
- This isn't about me and you, Evan.
1760
01:31:03,540 --> 01:31:05,107
This is about Ryan.
1761
01:31:05,190 --> 01:31:07,267
She called me while I
was at the museum, crying.
1762
01:31:07,350 --> 01:31:09,007
She said that debt collectors
are coming to take away
1763
01:31:09,090 --> 01:31:10,567
all of her stuff tomorrow.
1764
01:31:10,650 --> 01:31:13,417
- I thought she was loaded.
1765
01:31:13,500 --> 01:31:17,047
But she said she's gonna
lock herself in her bathroom
1766
01:31:17,130 --> 01:31:19,507
and drown herself in the bathtub.
1767
01:31:19,590 --> 01:31:21,890
- That is literally an
impossible thing to do.
1768
01:31:23,670 --> 01:31:25,807
- Well, we have to do something.
1769
01:31:25,890 --> 01:31:30,890
- This is not an mp,
it's a yp: Your problem.
1770
01:31:31,480 --> 01:31:34,323
- Evan, what's wrong
with you? This is Ryan.
1771
01:31:35,640 --> 01:31:36,823
She needs our help.
1772
01:31:46,777 --> 01:31:49,360
(Somber music)
1773
01:32:01,745 --> 01:32:04,745
(Doorknob rattling)
1774
01:32:09,419 --> 01:32:11,169
[Bridget] Oh, I gotta get this off.
1775
01:32:17,875 --> 01:32:19,441
Get this off...
1776
01:32:24,600 --> 01:32:25,433
Thank you.
1777
01:32:29,640 --> 01:32:31,558
- Uh, Bridget.
1778
01:32:31,641 --> 01:32:32,474
- What?
1779
01:32:36,600 --> 01:32:37,717
Ryan?
1780
01:32:37,800 --> 01:32:39,037
- Stay away.
1781
01:32:39,120 --> 01:32:40,777
If you come any closer, I'll jump.
1782
01:32:40,860 --> 01:32:42,787
- [Evan] Oh, for the love of...
1783
01:32:42,870 --> 01:32:46,177
Ryan, sweetheart, we've all been there.
1784
01:32:46,260 --> 01:32:48,217
Remember that time I
crashed my dad's delorean
1785
01:32:48,300 --> 01:32:50,407
and decided to drink myself to death?
1786
01:32:50,490 --> 01:32:51,697
You stayed up all night with me
1787
01:32:51,780 --> 01:32:52,833
feeding me edamame.
1788
01:32:54,660 --> 01:32:56,440
- We're gonna call the
police if you don't stop this.
1789
01:32:56,523 --> 01:32:57,967
- I'll throw myself over the railing
1790
01:32:58,050 --> 01:32:58,800
before you even get to the phone.
1791
01:32:58,883 --> 01:33:01,420
- Yeah, maybe threatening
her wasn't the best idea.
1792
01:33:02,533 --> 01:33:04,296
(Doorknob rattling)
1793
01:33:04,379 --> 01:33:05,660
- What the fuck is it now?
1794
01:33:05,743 --> 01:33:07,160
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1795
01:33:12,186 --> 01:33:14,744
- [Evan] You invited Dov to
Ryan's nervous breakdown?
1796
01:33:14,827 --> 01:33:15,577
- [Bridget] I called everyone.
1797
01:33:15,660 --> 01:33:16,803
- Oh, it's a real party.
1798
01:33:22,020 --> 01:33:23,527
- How is she?
1799
01:33:23,610 --> 01:33:25,927
- Ryan, you're scaring us.
1800
01:33:26,010 --> 01:33:26,993
- Leave me alone.
1801
01:33:28,073 --> 01:33:29,797
- I mean, look,
1802
01:33:29,880 --> 01:33:32,497
at that distance, with
your weight, at that velocity,
1803
01:33:32,580 --> 01:33:35,767
I mean, you'd be more likely
to break your legs than die.
1804
01:33:35,850 --> 01:33:36,600
- [Evan] Keep talking to her like that
1805
01:33:36,683 --> 01:33:39,039
and she'll definitely
decide to kill herself.
1806
01:33:39,122 --> 01:33:40,507
- Honey, why don't you let us just...
1807
01:33:40,590 --> 01:33:41,587
You look so tired.
1808
01:33:41,670 --> 01:33:43,470
We'll come up there and talk to you.
1809
01:33:44,713 --> 01:33:45,847
- I heard you wrote a book.
1810
01:33:45,930 --> 01:33:46,763
- Yeah.
1811
01:33:48,030 --> 01:33:48,863
Wanna read it?
1812
01:33:58,330 --> 01:33:59,557
Evan, don't mess around!
1813
01:33:59,640 --> 01:34:01,057
- Evan, stop it. That's priceless.
1814
01:34:01,140 --> 01:34:02,287
I mean invaluable.
1815
01:34:02,370 --> 01:34:03,995
- Me or the sword?
1816
01:34:04,078 --> 01:34:07,407
- (Chuckles) Fuck, it's
turning into Hamlet in here.
1817
01:34:07,490 --> 01:34:09,589
I hope they all die in the end.
1818
01:34:09,672 --> 01:34:11,063
- [Bridget] Oh my god.
1819
01:34:13,230 --> 01:34:15,097
- You stole the thing I love most.
1820
01:34:15,180 --> 01:34:16,867
- Maybe if you hadn't
treated her like a thing,
1821
01:34:16,950 --> 01:34:18,400
I wouldn't have been able to.
1822
01:34:19,380 --> 01:34:21,487
- Evan, you could do
tens of thousands of dollars
1823
01:34:21,570 --> 01:34:22,897
worth of damage to that sword.
1824
01:34:22,980 --> 01:34:24,727
- Ok, she's worried about the sword.
1825
01:34:24,810 --> 01:34:26,647
- I'm not concerned with
consequences anymore,
1826
01:34:26,730 --> 01:34:28,327
thanks to your little pep talk.
1827
01:34:28,410 --> 01:34:29,710
- What did you say to her?
1828
01:34:31,110 --> 01:34:34,507
- Maybe I told her I
was leaving her for good,
1829
01:34:34,590 --> 01:34:35,887
and then maybe I hit her.
1830
01:34:35,970 --> 01:34:37,477
- Oh, ok. Ok.
1831
01:34:37,560 --> 01:34:39,457
She's armed like a knight,
been pushed to the brink,
1832
01:34:39,540 --> 01:34:40,927
and I fucked her girlfriend.
1833
01:34:41,010 --> 01:34:42,813
- Any last words, Dov Dolenz?
1834
01:34:45,300 --> 01:34:46,133
- I love her.
1835
01:34:51,480 --> 01:34:52,323
I love her.
1836
01:34:54,240 --> 01:34:55,073
I love her.
1837
01:34:59,160 --> 01:35:01,283
- There is no peace in the middle east.
1838
01:35:01,366 --> 01:35:03,427
- This can technically be
construed as a hate crime.
1839
01:35:03,510 --> 01:35:05,493
- This is an act of war!
1840
01:35:06,518 --> 01:35:09,101
(Evan screams)
1841
01:35:14,412 --> 01:35:15,987
(Dov gasping)
1842
01:35:16,070 --> 01:35:17,857
- Evan, I think you may have anger issues!
1843
01:35:17,940 --> 01:35:19,747
- You won't need to worry about anything,
1844
01:35:19,830 --> 01:35:21,110
not where you're going.
1845
01:35:21,193 --> 01:35:23,269
(Bridget screams)
1846
01:35:23,352 --> 01:35:25,935
(Evan screams)
1847
01:35:32,038 --> 01:35:32,871
Fuck!
1848
01:35:34,156 --> 01:35:34,989
Fuck!
1849
01:35:36,189 --> 01:35:38,440
(Evan gasping)
1850
01:35:38,523 --> 01:35:40,752
(Evan screams)
1851
01:35:40,835 --> 01:35:43,418
(Evan gasping)
1852
01:35:47,502 --> 01:35:48,657
- Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,
1853
01:35:48,740 --> 01:35:50,955
oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, Evan!
1854
01:35:51,038 --> 01:35:51,871
Oh my god!
1855
01:36:08,312 --> 01:36:10,758
Just let me have a look at it.
1856
01:36:10,841 --> 01:36:12,190
- No!
1857
01:36:12,273 --> 01:36:15,393
None of you bitches touches me.
1858
01:36:18,239 --> 01:36:22,327
- Evan, are you ok?
1859
01:36:22,410 --> 01:36:24,813
- Me? I'm fit as a fucking fiddle.
1860
01:36:26,160 --> 01:36:27,483
- [Bridget] You have a knife in your back.
1861
01:36:27,566 --> 01:36:28,891
- Yeah, I gathered.
1862
01:36:32,550 --> 01:36:33,997
- Dov, call an ambulance.
1863
01:36:34,080 --> 01:36:35,557
- Where's the phone?
1864
01:36:35,640 --> 01:36:36,525
- Should we pull it out?
1865
01:36:36,608 --> 01:36:37,441
- No!
1866
01:36:40,955 --> 01:36:42,526
(Evan panting)
1867
01:36:42,609 --> 01:36:44,776
- [Bridget] What have I done, Evan?!
1868
01:36:53,340 --> 01:36:54,303
- Oh, shit.
1869
01:36:58,229 --> 01:36:59,599
- [Bridget] Evan!
1870
01:36:59,682 --> 01:37:03,776
No!
1871
01:37:03,859 --> 01:37:06,526
(Ryan whimpers)
1872
01:37:10,126 --> 01:37:12,793
(Ryan grunts)
1873
01:37:31,380 --> 01:37:32,887
- That's better.
1874
01:37:32,970 --> 01:37:33,817
What's wrong?
1875
01:37:33,900 --> 01:37:36,097
Did you run out of money?
1876
01:37:36,180 --> 01:37:37,023
We can help you.
1877
01:37:38,040 --> 01:37:38,873
- It's not that.
1878
01:37:39,778 --> 01:37:40,778
It's my dad.
1879
01:37:41,817 --> 01:37:42,889
- Oh, did he die?
1880
01:37:42,972 --> 01:37:43,750
I'm so sorry. - Nope.
1881
01:37:43,833 --> 01:37:45,543
That fucker's alive and well.
1882
01:37:46,560 --> 01:37:47,810
He was never really sick.
1883
01:37:48,900 --> 01:37:50,373
I made the whole thing up.
1884
01:37:51,840 --> 01:37:53,040
- Why would you do that?
1885
01:37:54,360 --> 01:37:55,773
- He cut me out of his life.
1886
01:37:56,880 --> 01:37:59,613
Not just financially, completely.
1887
01:38:02,749 --> 01:38:04,592
- What happened?
1888
01:38:04,675 --> 01:38:06,577
- His daughter's a lesbian.
1889
01:38:06,660 --> 01:38:11,107
I fuck women, and that is
enough to make him hate me.
1890
01:38:11,190 --> 01:38:12,573
He disposed of me.
1891
01:38:15,240 --> 01:38:16,113
He's not dead.
1892
01:38:17,070 --> 01:38:19,803
I'm the one that's dead. Dead to him.
1893
01:38:20,700 --> 01:38:22,793
- Honey, you could have told us.
1894
01:38:22,876 --> 01:38:24,076
- I was too embarrassed.
1895
01:38:26,070 --> 01:38:27,220
So I said he was dying.
1896
01:38:28,890 --> 01:38:30,213
It seemed easier.
1897
01:38:32,550 --> 01:38:35,253
I was just so ashamed.
1898
01:38:37,140 --> 01:38:41,830
And now I'm angry at
myself for feeling ashamed.
1899
01:38:44,460 --> 01:38:45,363
It should be him.
1900
01:38:47,700 --> 01:38:50,347
He should be the one
who hates himself, not me.
1901
01:38:50,430 --> 01:38:55,357
- You know, when we're
growing up, when we're kids,
1902
01:38:55,440 --> 01:38:57,307
we know there's
something different about us.
1903
01:38:57,390 --> 01:39:00,063
- Yeah, I knew I liked
girls from the age of five.
1904
01:39:01,080 --> 01:39:02,347
I've always been ahead of the curve.
1905
01:39:02,430 --> 01:39:03,517
- When we know there's something different
1906
01:39:03,600 --> 01:39:05,287
and we can't put words to it,
1907
01:39:05,370 --> 01:39:07,473
that turns into self-loathing.
1908
01:39:09,150 --> 01:39:12,007
And then we get a little
older, we realize that society
1909
01:39:12,090 --> 01:39:14,407
doesn't accept the parts
of us that make us different,
1910
01:39:14,490 --> 01:39:18,453
and that self-loathing turns into shame.
1911
01:39:20,130 --> 01:39:21,307
- I'm stronger than that.
1912
01:39:21,390 --> 01:39:22,477
- I know you are.
1913
01:39:22,560 --> 01:39:23,407
You're a tough cookie,
1914
01:39:23,490 --> 01:39:26,737
but you can't fix what your
family and society did to you.
1915
01:39:26,820 --> 01:39:28,833
You can't UN-fuck up a kid.
1916
01:39:31,110 --> 01:39:33,110
- I'm not getting $5,000 a month anymore.
1917
01:39:34,020 --> 01:39:36,127
I had some money saved up.
1918
01:39:36,210 --> 01:39:38,613
I spent it all.
1919
01:39:39,628 --> 01:39:42,123
I just wanted the hurt to go away.
1920
01:39:44,190 --> 01:39:45,093
Who does that?
1921
01:39:46,050 --> 01:39:48,217
What kind of man turns
his back on his daughter
1922
01:39:48,300 --> 01:39:49,447
just because she's gay?
1923
01:39:49,530 --> 01:39:51,547
- You don't need him, ok?
1924
01:39:51,630 --> 01:39:54,037
You have me and those
three losers downstairs
1925
01:39:54,120 --> 01:39:56,527
who would do anything for you.
1926
01:39:56,610 --> 01:39:59,887
Ryan, the four of us would die for you.
1927
01:39:59,970 --> 01:40:00,757
Fuck your dad.
1928
01:40:00,840 --> 01:40:03,397
He's not your dad. Evan's your dad.
1929
01:40:03,480 --> 01:40:07,147
And us, we're the rest
of your fucked up family.
1930
01:40:07,230 --> 01:40:09,903
- I'm just so confused.
1931
01:40:11,370 --> 01:40:12,723
Everything hurts.
1932
01:40:14,280 --> 01:40:19,280
I'm so totally lost.
1933
01:40:20,400 --> 01:40:22,807
- Well, with those words,
1934
01:40:22,890 --> 01:40:26,823
I officially pronounce you a grown-up.
1935
01:40:31,800 --> 01:40:34,147
- Did you know I always
wanted to make you coffee,
1936
01:40:34,230 --> 01:40:35,830
the way you do it with the foam.
1937
01:40:36,720 --> 01:40:37,747
I was gonna surprise you once.
1938
01:40:37,830 --> 01:40:38,580
You were at the museum,
1939
01:40:38,663 --> 01:40:40,894
you were gonna come home and find it.
1940
01:40:40,977 --> 01:40:44,557
I tried, but I failed,
and I threw it all out
1941
01:40:44,640 --> 01:40:46,146
and never told you.
1942
01:40:46,229 --> 01:40:47,785
- [Dov] I called an ambulance.
1943
01:40:50,047 --> 01:40:51,757
Oh, shit.
1944
01:40:51,840 --> 01:40:54,040
- I don't like doing
things I'm not good at.
1945
01:40:57,690 --> 01:41:01,023
- This is for the pain.
1946
01:41:06,180 --> 01:41:07,597
Ok. - Fuck.
1947
01:41:07,680 --> 01:41:09,033
This jacket is vintage.
1948
01:41:10,530 --> 01:41:12,367
- What the fuck happened here?
1949
01:41:12,450 --> 01:41:13,920
- [Evan] Bridget stabbed me in the back.
1950
01:41:14,003 --> 01:41:15,517
- I know, sweety.
1951
01:41:15,600 --> 01:41:20,566
- No, this time I really did stab her.
1952
01:41:20,649 --> 01:41:22,357
(Trista laughs)
1953
01:41:22,440 --> 01:41:23,557
- Jesus.
1954
01:41:23,640 --> 01:41:26,223
- Dov called an ambulance.
It should be here soon.
1955
01:41:27,660 --> 01:41:29,587
- So Ryan tries to commit suicide,
1956
01:41:29,670 --> 01:41:31,207
and you three bitches find a way
1957
01:41:31,290 --> 01:41:32,943
to make it all about yourselves.
1958
01:41:34,228 --> 01:41:36,582
- Is that one of Bridget's ancient daggers?
1959
01:41:36,665 --> 01:41:37,570
- I believe so.
1960
01:41:37,653 --> 01:41:39,997
- That thing is 500 years old.
1961
01:41:40,080 --> 01:41:43,237
You're gonna have one hell of an infection.
1962
01:41:43,320 --> 01:41:45,093
- Do not forget your dying king.
1963
01:41:46,050 --> 01:41:47,107
- Is she gonna die?
1964
01:41:47,190 --> 01:41:50,767
- No, baby. But I'm about
to pass out from the pain.
1965
01:41:50,850 --> 01:41:52,803
- Good night, sweet prince.
1966
01:41:53,931 --> 01:41:57,150
And flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest.
1967
01:41:58,105 --> 01:42:00,437
- So what have I
learned after all this time?
1968
01:42:00,520 --> 01:42:03,487
After all the fucking and partying,
1969
01:42:03,570 --> 01:42:06,547
lying to friends, lovers, myself,
1970
01:42:06,630 --> 01:42:09,937
playing this sick game, in this sick world,
1971
01:42:10,020 --> 01:42:13,443
filled with liars and cheaters
and depraved miscreants?
1972
01:42:15,720 --> 01:42:17,677
I'll tell you what I've learned.
1973
01:42:17,760 --> 01:42:20,493
One thing, and one thing only.
1974
01:42:21,793 --> 01:42:24,993
I fucking love being gay.
1975
01:42:27,900 --> 01:42:30,607
- Hey, Evan. Are you still there?
1976
01:42:30,690 --> 01:42:31,897
- Yeah.
1977
01:42:31,980 --> 01:42:34,177
- I thought you were
about to pass out right then.
1978
01:42:34,260 --> 01:42:36,337
- Yeah, that would've been
the perfect place to do it.
1979
01:42:36,420 --> 01:42:37,170
- Yeah.
1980
01:42:37,253 --> 01:42:39,213
Yeah, right at the end of that speech.
1981
01:42:40,307 --> 01:42:41,737
- [Dov] Whoa!
1982
01:42:41,820 --> 01:42:43,253
- [Trista] Now she's passed out.
1983
01:42:44,250 --> 01:42:45,693
- It's true what they say.
1984
01:42:46,590 --> 01:42:48,640
Timing really is everything.
1985
01:42:48,723 --> 01:42:50,077
(Sirens in the distance)
1986
01:42:50,160 --> 01:42:52,060
- Oh, the ambulance is here.
1987
01:42:52,143 --> 01:42:54,667
(Sirens blaring) - Yay.
1988
01:42:54,750 --> 01:42:56,253
Evan won't die.
1989
01:42:57,840 --> 01:42:59,870
Can I ride with her to the hospital?
1990
01:42:59,953 --> 01:43:02,283
I should probably get my stomach pumped.
1991
01:43:03,280 --> 01:43:04,417
Can I take out the knife now?
1992
01:43:04,500 --> 01:43:05,333
- [Group] No!
1993
01:43:07,000 --> 01:43:09,667
(Siren blaring)
1994
01:43:13,020 --> 01:43:14,542
- [Bridget] Where's your coffee machine?
1995
01:43:14,625 --> 01:43:16,824
Does anybody want some coffee?
1996
01:43:16,907 --> 01:43:19,657
(Sirens blaring)
1997
01:43:23,616 --> 01:43:26,366
(Bells jingling)
1998
01:43:31,673 --> 01:43:33,479
- Bye, losers.
1999
01:43:33,562 --> 01:43:36,337
It was good to see you.
♪ Make your feelings ♪
2000
01:43:36,420 --> 01:43:39,670
♪ light like a feather ♪
2001
01:43:42,190 --> 01:43:44,437
- How's the shoulder? Still sore?
2002
01:43:44,520 --> 01:43:45,937
- Nothing that copious amounts of alcohol
2003
01:43:46,020 --> 01:43:47,313
and Vicodin can't cure.
2004
01:43:49,230 --> 01:43:50,063
- Same old Evan.
2005
01:43:51,507 --> 01:43:53,003
- I quit my father's campaign.
2006
01:43:55,464 --> 01:43:57,667
- When were you gonna tell me?
2007
01:43:57,750 --> 01:44:02,003
- When I finally mustered the
ability to say you were right.
2008
01:44:06,720 --> 01:44:08,107
You remember what I told you
2009
01:44:08,190 --> 01:44:10,357
about not liking not being good at things
2010
01:44:10,440 --> 01:44:13,323
like making coffee and saying I'm sorry?
2011
01:44:15,475 --> 01:44:17,853
As for the coffee, I
came up with a solution.
2012
01:44:20,910 --> 01:44:21,743
Instant coffee.
2013
01:44:25,298 --> 01:44:28,548
♪ Oh, all right ♪
2014
01:44:28,631 --> 01:44:30,756
♪ let's not fight ♪
2015
01:44:30,839 --> 01:44:33,114
♪ I'm still the star ♪
2016
01:44:33,197 --> 01:44:35,950
♪ shining bright ♪
2017
01:44:36,033 --> 01:44:36,866
Bridget.
2018
01:44:40,566 --> 01:44:41,399
I'm sorry.
2019
01:44:44,269 --> 01:44:49,269
♪ Do you remember the time you were alone ♪
2020
01:44:52,849 --> 01:44:57,133
♪ I was the one to call on your phone ♪
2021
01:44:57,216 --> 01:44:58,049
- Evan.
2022
01:45:01,996 --> 01:45:03,329
This is oatmeal.
2023
01:45:05,268 --> 01:45:06,101
- What?
2024
01:45:07,732 --> 01:45:10,627
- You made me oatmeal.
2025
01:45:10,710 --> 01:45:15,253
This is instant oatmeal. (Laughs)
2026
01:45:17,655 --> 01:45:20,572
(Bridget laughing)
2027
01:45:31,980 --> 01:45:33,560
- I'll never stop loving you.
2028
01:45:37,010 --> 01:45:37,843
- Ditto.
2029
01:45:42,780 --> 01:45:46,533
- Things are looking up for me.
2030
01:45:47,985 --> 01:45:50,737
I got promoted from writing
engagement announcements
2031
01:45:50,820 --> 01:45:52,743
to writing obituaries.
2032
01:45:53,910 --> 01:45:55,627
- That's super.
2033
01:45:55,710 --> 01:45:58,203
That's, like, the best news ever. So great.
2034
01:46:00,480 --> 01:46:03,607
So tell me more about
the newspaper, please.
2035
01:46:03,690 --> 01:46:04,440
Where's trista?
2036
01:46:04,523 --> 01:46:06,063
- [Bridget] Dov, come over here.
2037
01:46:07,620 --> 01:46:09,727
- Oh my god. This conversation has to end.
2038
01:46:09,810 --> 01:46:11,463
So much suck.
2039
01:46:13,822 --> 01:46:18,397
♪ Coming to the point, I apologize ♪
2040
01:46:18,480 --> 01:46:20,887
- So I couldn't help but notice you two
2041
01:46:20,970 --> 01:46:23,493
have been avoiding each other all night.
2042
01:46:25,200 --> 01:46:26,818
My parents pulled the same act for years.
2043
01:46:26,901 --> 01:46:29,827
- You're the one taking a
position at a museum in Romania.
2044
01:46:29,910 --> 01:46:31,417
Seems like you're the one going to extremes
2045
01:46:31,500 --> 01:46:32,853
to avoid conflict.
2046
01:46:35,340 --> 01:46:36,173
- True.
2047
01:46:38,100 --> 01:46:40,173
But I am confused.
2048
01:46:41,645 --> 01:46:42,978
I love you both,
2049
01:46:45,265 --> 01:46:48,153
but I need time for myself.
2050
01:46:50,400 --> 01:46:51,233
Cliche?
2051
01:46:52,830 --> 01:46:53,663
- A little.
2052
01:46:58,770 --> 01:47:00,603
- So, friends?
2053
01:47:04,410 --> 01:47:05,160
- [Dov] Ok.
2054
01:47:05,243 --> 01:47:05,993
- Fine.
2055
01:47:06,076 --> 01:47:06,980
- [Trista] Bridget.
2056
01:47:13,200 --> 01:47:14,343
- Crazy fuck.
2057
01:47:15,450 --> 01:47:17,167
- You republican bitch!
2058
01:47:17,250 --> 01:47:18,720
- Shut up. - Jesus Christ!
2059
01:47:25,740 --> 01:47:26,497
- Well, fags.
2060
01:47:26,580 --> 01:47:29,330
I'd stay, but I'm afraid you'd
ask me to help clean up.
2061
01:47:30,328 --> 01:47:31,126
I'll miss you, kid.
2062
01:47:31,209 --> 01:47:32,347
- No, you won't.
2063
01:47:32,430 --> 01:47:35,080
- I'll miss the excessive
drama you bring to my life.
2064
01:47:37,860 --> 01:47:39,727
- Next week, Hanukah party, my place.
2065
01:47:39,810 --> 01:47:42,160
I'm gonna bust out the bong mitzvah.
2066
01:47:42,243 --> 01:47:43,535
Good night, homos.
2067
01:47:45,930 --> 01:47:48,307
- I should probably get going, too.
2068
01:47:48,390 --> 01:47:50,767
Early flight. Long flight.
2069
01:47:50,850 --> 01:47:51,667
You coming, Ry?
2070
01:47:51,750 --> 01:47:53,047
- I wish I was coming.
2071
01:47:53,130 --> 01:47:54,307
Get it?
2072
01:47:54,390 --> 01:47:55,567
No?
2073
01:47:55,650 --> 01:47:57,187
No, I wanna stay out.
2074
01:47:57,270 --> 01:47:58,254
- I'll take her back.
2075
01:47:59,340 --> 01:48:03,723
- Ok, well, I am going to
Benadryl myself to sleep.
2076
01:48:05,010 --> 01:48:06,397
See you in the morning. - Bye, babe.
2077
01:48:06,480 --> 01:48:07,927
- Yeah.
2078
01:48:08,010 --> 01:48:09,360
- [Both] I'll walk you out.
2079
01:48:11,007 --> 01:48:12,513
- You did try to behead me.
2080
01:48:17,130 --> 01:48:19,357
- I'll see you in half a year.
2081
01:48:19,440 --> 01:48:22,417
- Well, just try to stay out of trouble.
2082
01:48:22,500 --> 01:48:23,750
- What's the fun in that?
2083
01:48:56,986 --> 01:48:59,227
I know you have something to say.
2084
01:48:59,310 --> 01:49:00,333
- Cheeky monkey.
2085
01:49:05,460 --> 01:49:08,439
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
2086
01:49:08,522 --> 01:49:11,522
(Crickets chirping)
2087
01:49:15,780 --> 01:49:18,337
- So not to sound arrogant
or anything, you know,
2088
01:49:18,420 --> 01:49:21,393
but I am gonna be gone for six months.
2089
01:49:22,860 --> 01:49:26,210
What I'm saying is, you
know, if you meet someone...
2090
01:49:28,290 --> 01:49:29,297
- No, I get it.
2091
01:49:32,190 --> 01:49:35,343
I packed your poem. It's in my carry on.
2092
01:49:39,000 --> 01:49:40,293
Ice-kissed frostfire.
2093
01:49:44,310 --> 01:49:48,893
I wish I could be like you
and have the right words.
2094
01:49:53,729 --> 01:49:57,489
- I wish I had the right words right now.
2095
01:49:57,572 --> 01:50:00,572
(Crickets chirping)
2096
01:50:38,728 --> 01:50:41,228
(Engine revs)
2097
01:50:43,827 --> 01:50:45,544
(TV static crackles)
2098
01:50:51,630 --> 01:50:53,227
- So I have this friend,
2099
01:50:53,310 --> 01:50:56,827
and she really liked her
best friend's girlfriend,
2100
01:50:56,910 --> 01:50:58,717
and she thought she
would be a much better fit
2101
01:50:58,800 --> 01:51:03,800
for her friend's
girlfriend than her friend.
2102
01:51:04,050 --> 01:51:08,497
And so she set into
motion a series of events
2103
01:51:08,580 --> 01:51:11,373
that would lead to them breaking up.
2104
01:51:12,756 --> 01:51:15,997
And it took a really long time,
2105
01:51:16,080 --> 01:51:20,677
and a lot of really manipulative behavior,
2106
01:51:20,760 --> 01:51:23,343
but eventually, this girl's plan worked.
2107
01:51:24,450 --> 01:51:25,417
- What happened?
2108
01:51:25,500 --> 01:51:26,377
- What do you mean?
2109
01:51:26,460 --> 01:51:27,547
- What happened?
2110
01:51:27,630 --> 01:51:28,687
- What do you mean?
2111
01:51:28,770 --> 01:51:31,717
- Did your friend end up with
her best friend's girlfriend?
2112
01:51:31,800 --> 01:51:33,007
- I don't know.
2113
01:51:33,090 --> 01:51:34,833
That remains to be seen.
2114
01:51:36,810 --> 01:51:41,810
So what do you think of all that?
2115
01:51:42,152 --> 01:51:44,853
Do you think my friend is a bad person?
2116
01:52:07,470 --> 01:52:08,303
What?
2117
01:52:09,780 --> 01:52:11,167
- Survival of the fittest, right?
2118
01:52:11,250 --> 01:52:12,967
(Ryan laughs)
2119
01:52:13,050 --> 01:52:15,243
- Yeah. Totally.
2120
01:53:10,662 --> 01:53:12,577
- Isn't there some place you'd rather be?
2121
01:53:12,660 --> 01:53:13,710
- Than here with you?
2122
01:53:15,090 --> 01:53:15,923
Never.
2123
01:53:31,860 --> 01:53:33,137
- Why'd you do that?
2124
01:53:34,726 --> 01:53:36,567
- Because I knew you wouldn't.
2125
01:53:37,970 --> 01:53:40,163
- I imagine you wanna
get back at your father.
2126
01:53:42,090 --> 01:53:44,586
I would excel in that capacity.
2127
01:53:52,575 --> 01:53:55,658
(Upbeat synth music)
2128
01:54:14,707 --> 01:54:19,707
♪ Whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2129
01:54:21,560 --> 01:54:24,227
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2130
01:54:28,800 --> 01:54:30,187
- Do you love me?
2131
01:54:30,270 --> 01:54:33,131
I know you'll say yes, and
I'll take you at your word, but-
2132
01:54:33,214 --> 01:54:35,133
- with every beat of my wasted heart.
2133
01:54:36,960 --> 01:54:37,793
- I see it now.
2134
01:54:38,979 --> 01:54:40,279
Your love is true. - Yes.
2135
01:54:42,655 --> 01:54:45,398
♪ We woke up on the floor ♪
2136
01:54:45,481 --> 01:54:49,187
♪ our bodies intertwined ♪
2137
01:54:49,270 --> 01:54:52,317
♪ you're doing that thing you do ♪
2138
01:54:52,400 --> 01:54:55,854
♪ when something's on your mind ♪
2139
01:54:55,937 --> 01:54:58,383
♪ restlessness and worries ♪
2140
01:54:58,466 --> 01:55:02,598
♪ for a future that's unknown ♪
2141
01:55:02,681 --> 01:55:06,248
♪ but I'll travel through
both space and time ♪
2142
01:55:06,331 --> 01:55:11,331
♪ to make sure you will never be alone ♪
2143
01:55:13,637 --> 01:55:18,637
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2144
01:55:20,813 --> 01:55:25,813
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2145
01:55:27,917 --> 01:55:32,917
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2146
01:55:34,889 --> 01:55:36,631
♪ a thousand years ♪
2147
01:55:36,714 --> 01:55:39,580
♪ a thousand years ♪
2148
01:55:39,663 --> 01:55:42,123
♪ we head into the night ♪
2149
01:55:42,206 --> 01:55:46,057
♪ and fade into the streets ♪
2150
01:55:46,140 --> 01:55:49,172
♪ as rain on the city falls ♪
2151
01:55:49,255 --> 01:55:52,812
♪ the taste is bittersweet ♪
2152
01:55:52,895 --> 01:55:55,300
♪ restlessness and worries ♪
2153
01:55:55,383 --> 01:55:59,682
♪ for a future far away ♪
2154
01:55:59,765 --> 01:56:03,231
♪ I'll travel into the unknown ♪
2155
01:56:03,314 --> 01:56:08,314
♪ to make sure you will see another day ♪
2156
01:56:10,620 --> 01:56:15,620
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2157
01:56:17,735 --> 01:56:22,735
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2158
01:56:24,810 --> 01:56:29,810
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2159
01:56:31,935 --> 01:56:33,627
♪ a thousand years ♪
2160
01:56:33,710 --> 01:56:36,576
♪ a thousand years ♪
2161
01:56:36,659 --> 01:56:39,629
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2162
01:56:39,712 --> 01:56:43,694
♪ through complications ♪
2163
01:56:43,777 --> 01:56:46,697
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2164
01:56:46,780 --> 01:56:50,860
♪ through the unknown ♪
2165
01:56:50,943 --> 01:56:53,670
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2166
01:56:53,753 --> 01:56:57,043
♪ with determination ♪
2167
01:56:57,126 --> 01:57:00,554
♪ whoa-ho, whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2168
01:57:00,637 --> 01:57:05,637
♪ I'll make sure you'll never be alone ♪
2169
01:57:07,496 --> 01:57:12,496
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2170
01:57:14,636 --> 01:57:19,636
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2171
01:57:21,722 --> 01:57:26,560
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2172
01:57:26,643 --> 01:57:28,536
(Ryan laughs)
2173
01:57:28,619 --> 01:57:30,456
♪ A thousand years ♪
2174
01:57:30,539 --> 01:57:33,472
♪ a thousand years ♪
2175
01:57:33,555 --> 01:57:36,116
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2176
01:57:36,199 --> 01:57:40,600
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
2177
01:57:40,683 --> 01:57:43,130
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2178
01:57:43,213 --> 01:57:47,735
♪ I would trade a thousand years ♪
2179
01:57:47,818 --> 01:57:50,302
♪ whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2180
01:57:50,385 --> 01:57:54,061
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
2181
01:57:54,144 --> 01:57:57,196
♪ whoa-ho, whoa-ho-ho-ho ♪
2182
01:57:57,279 --> 01:58:02,279
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2183
01:58:06,157 --> 01:58:09,740
♪ a thousand years for you ♪
2184
01:58:35,420 --> 01:58:38,670
(TV static crackles)
2185
01:58:39,958 --> 01:58:42,958
(Keyboard clacking)
2186
01:58:44,137 --> 01:58:47,304
(Gentle upbeat music)
2187
01:58:54,697 --> 01:58:56,300
- Mark is laughing already.
2188
01:58:56,383 --> 01:58:57,499
I can't!
2189
01:58:58,873 --> 01:59:00,374
(Laughs) I can't!
2190
01:59:00,457 --> 01:59:03,918
Turn around, Mark! (Laughs)
2191
01:59:04,001 --> 01:59:05,818
- I think that I can see...
2192
01:59:05,901 --> 01:59:07,310
- [Tucky] It's like you want to look good.
2193
01:59:07,393 --> 01:59:08,459
That's crazy.
2194
01:59:08,542 --> 01:59:09,292
- Crazy.
2195
01:59:09,375 --> 01:59:12,200
- Sweet prince, and flights of angels-
2196
01:59:12,283 --> 01:59:13,291
sorry.
2197
01:59:13,374 --> 01:59:15,309
(Both laugh)
2198
01:59:15,392 --> 01:59:17,037
- [Ellie] Welcome to "girl/girl scene."
2199
01:59:17,120 --> 01:59:18,547
(Mark laughs)
2200
01:59:18,630 --> 01:59:20,165
- [Amanda] I just wanna
make sure I'm holding-
2201
01:59:20,248 --> 01:59:22,831
(Roni laughs)
2202
01:59:24,489 --> 01:59:27,697
(Kayla coughs)
2203
01:59:27,780 --> 01:59:29,013
- You're up late.
2204
01:59:29,850 --> 01:59:31,867
- [Tucky] My mom's freaking
out about the body slam.
2205
01:59:31,950 --> 01:59:34,339
I know you're being
careful, but, just, less-
2206
01:59:34,422 --> 01:59:36,198
- less slam.
2207
01:59:36,281 --> 01:59:39,799
♪ But there's one thing ♪
2208
01:59:39,882 --> 01:59:41,728
♪ that makes me come alive ♪
2209
01:59:41,811 --> 01:59:43,238
♪ when you're by my side ♪
2210
01:59:43,321 --> 01:59:45,488
- We need more ice. - Todd!
2211
01:59:47,606 --> 01:59:49,171
♪ Together with me ♪
2212
01:59:49,254 --> 01:59:53,478
♪ when that weary tape runs ♪
2213
01:59:53,561 --> 01:59:55,159
♪ play that movie ♪
2214
01:59:55,242 --> 01:59:57,251
♪ I want you to smile ♪
2215
01:59:57,334 --> 01:59:58,715
♪ shut out all the worries ♪
2216
01:59:58,798 --> 02:00:01,097
♪ dream away for awhile ♪
2217
02:00:01,180 --> 02:00:03,139
♪ the look you had ♪
2218
02:00:03,222 --> 02:00:04,201
- [Mark] No.
2219
02:00:04,284 --> 02:00:05,803
- As long as you
literally don't see my ass.
2220
02:00:05,886 --> 02:00:06,800
My ass is out.
2221
02:00:06,883 --> 02:00:10,333
- [Mark] It's basically from here up.
2222
02:00:10,416 --> 02:00:12,633
♪ Make me feel like I'm home ♪
2223
02:00:12,716 --> 02:00:16,357
♪ take me back again to
see the look of that chrome ♪
2224
02:00:16,440 --> 02:00:19,715
♪ the power of love is back on the screen ♪
2225
02:00:19,798 --> 02:00:22,315
♪ and we'll have ♪
2226
02:00:22,398 --> 02:00:24,731
♪ '85 again ♪
2227
02:00:29,464 --> 02:00:30,322
(Mark chuckles)
2228
02:00:30,405 --> 02:00:31,280
- [Tucky] What? Let me see.
2229
02:00:31,363 --> 02:00:32,113
- [Mark] Oh, I was just filming Jerry.
2230
02:00:32,196 --> 02:00:32,946
- [Tucky] Oh.
2231
02:00:33,029 --> 02:00:34,738
- Cooking with gas, folks!
- Cooking with gas!
2232
02:00:34,821 --> 02:00:36,937
Amped, man! Amped!
2233
02:00:37,020 --> 02:00:39,925
- We got the tools and we got the know-how.
2234
02:00:40,008 --> 02:00:41,797
- [Mark] Ok, what was the next scene?
2235
02:00:41,880 --> 02:00:42,847
- [Tucky] Bedroom.
2236
02:00:42,930 --> 02:00:44,457
- [Amanda] Me waking up-
2237
02:00:44,540 --> 02:00:46,237
- [Maya] I just, like, I got it too late.
2238
02:00:46,320 --> 02:00:48,907
Like, I couldn't debut it
earlier in a different scene,
2239
02:00:48,990 --> 02:00:50,167
but now it's in the movie.
2240
02:00:50,250 --> 02:00:51,240
- [Tucky] Yes.
2241
02:00:51,323 --> 02:00:52,763
- [Mark] Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd.
2242
02:00:57,847 --> 02:01:01,014
(Gentle upbeat music)
2243
02:01:25,782 --> 02:01:27,302
♪ Play that movie ♪
2244
02:01:27,385 --> 02:01:29,403
♪ I want you to smile ♪
2245
02:01:29,486 --> 02:01:30,784
♪ shut out all the worries ♪
2246
02:01:30,867 --> 02:01:33,083
♪ dream away for awhile ♪
2247
02:01:33,166 --> 02:01:36,083
♪ the look you had ♪
2248
02:01:42,240 --> 02:01:43,353
- You're still here?
2249
02:01:45,420 --> 02:01:46,833
It's over.
2250
02:01:48,810 --> 02:01:49,953
Go home.
2251
02:01:56,190 --> 02:01:57,023
Shoo.
156789
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Oromo
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof