All language subtitles for I was sex trafficked by GirlsDoPorn Pt.1 ｜｜ Consider Before Consuming Podcast

Long story short, that's when everything
began.

From like 9 p .m. till 4 in the morning,
I was raped.

They took breaks and told me I had to
refilm scenes.

I tried to run naked from the hotel room
at one point.

I was physically shoved back, and there
was someone outside of the door. I

didn't even make it to the door.

Said, fuck you. I'm not doing anything
else. Right.

And they're like, oh, then we'll put
everything on the Internet that we have

right now with your full name or we'll
send it to your parents. Do you want

to find out?

First of all, we want to say thanks for
being with us today. Thank you for

having me.

This is an important conversation for
many reasons, one of them being that

people think that sex trafficking and
porn are separate industries, and your

experience sheds light on the
connections between porn and sex

never agreed to do porn at all, yet your
abuse was posted online.

With my full name.

to mainstream internet sites and
although the porn

production company girls do porn were
eventually shut down and convicted of

trafficking they went unchecked for 11
years or so they also claimed to be

ethical like an ethical porn company
during those 11 years but we'll get more

into those details

The first thing we want before jumping
back in time is we want to know how

you're doing.

By the way, we want to introduce Cozy to
the audience.

We have a little mic set up for Cozy.

When you came in and I saw Cozy,
immediately in my mind, I was like, we

have set up a mic for Cozy.

It was just too cute to not do it. And
so I literally put a mic down there for

Cozy. I think that is quite adorable.

Super cute.

But going back.

How are you doing?

It's been an emotional roller coaster.

I was trafficked six and a half years
ago.

It's been a roller coaster of emotions.
It's been a long time coming with the

FBI trial. And we had Wolf, one of the
main guys that started.

Yeah, one of the co -founders.

Yes, he did plead guilty yesterday.

So there has been a lot of publicity
surrounding it. We put Andrea Garcia

for... 20 years last year, last June.

So we have seen justice.

But with that has come immense
harassment.

It's all being brought to light. And I
feel like the stories that are being

shared about the women are so
inaccurate.

So I'm really excited to be here today.
This is just my story.

Each woman that I had the honor of
meeting at.

court and when we were testifying, they
were incredibly brave.

They have all been hurt beyond words.

And it was a really difficult day that
first day that we testified. It was

rewarding, exhausting, empowering,
validating. But at the same time,

it was just so shocking to know how much
it's affecting.

All these women, myself included, years
later. I feel like it's going to be a

lifelong battle. It's something that
they put on the internet.

They stole something from us that is
never going away. Even though we legally

own the rights to the videos now, it'll
always be out there. And it's something

that I am having to learn to live with
and get stronger.

There's been a lot of therapy involved.

Cozy helps a lot.

Probably more than anything.

But I'm stronger than I used to be. I
had some suicide attempts even right

before trial last year. I went in with
stitches on my arm. I have this nice

that almost looks surgical. And when
people say, oh, what happened? I don't

to lie.

I'm not here to gain anything. I'm not
being paid for this. I don't want to

monetary gain from...

trafficking, from the trauma.

I'm simply here to tell my story in
hopes that hopefully we can stop this. I

know it's always going to be there, but
we can bring education to people. We can

bring it to the light of day and
hopefully help people that have been

any sort of sexual trauma because there
is hope and healing.

It's definitely not easy. It's very hard
and it's a long road.

I'm living proof. I'm still here
begrudgingly at times, but I'm doing

I'm excited to educate and bring this to
light.

It's really cool that you have
experienced a lot of healing and we can

that's the case because you are here
speaking about it and fighting.

And so we are very grateful for that.

As I asked that question, how are you
doing today? I think it's very telling

that.

Just yesterday, you had an update about
one of the co -founders. To me, that

shows how this has impacted you. Because
when I asked that question, how are you

doing? I was expecting you to say like,
great, I did yoga this morning. I had

whatever for breakfast.

But your first thought was yesterday we
had an update.

Yeah, I had to fake it for so long
pretending I was okay that I really

appreciate authenticity now. So I need
a...

I needed to realize it's okay not to be
okay every day.

And you really do have to allow yourself
to feel pain in order to work through

it. I spent years running and numbing
and hiding.

And when someone would say, hey, how are
you? I feel like answers are commonly

disingenuine. We're always, oh, I'm
good. I did yoga. Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah.

But I just want to live the rest of my
life.

In an authentic way, I want to be
genuine and real.

And everyone has trauma in their lives.
Everyone has pain.

We're all struggling at some point, and
we're here to help each other. So being

honest, I have bad days. But overall, I
have a lot of hope for the future right

now that I didn't have for a really long
time.

What are you doing these days to take
care of yourself mentally, emotionally?

Yeah, there were years where I tried
therapy.

I've been a yoga instructor for a long
time. That helped me a lot, but more

anything, I had to seek medical help. I
had to be hospitalized at times.

The self -harm and suicidal ideations
just got...

too much and it's okay to ask for help
I've realized I really was scared to do

that I am a nurse I I love being able to
connect with my patients now saying hey

it's okay to hurt and sometimes the best
thing that you can do is hold someone's

hand and validate them so I'm trying to
let people in and I didn't do that for

a long time I uh

I have really bad ADD, so I get off
topic sometimes.

Lately, I'm doing a lot of therapy.

I do talk therapy, cognitive behavioral
therapy.

I am on antidepressants, or I was on
antidepressants for years.

I would get egotistical at times and go
off of them thinking, oh, I don't need

this. I can do it alone. I'm tough. Or
they just made me feel too weak.

So that wasn't healthy. And then I would
spiral.

And I would think at times, oh, I don't
need therapy. And I did have a therapist

commit suicide.

And learning to open up to someone new
after that and retell your story is re

-traumatizing. Telling it so much to the
lawyers and the FBI, I got to the point

where I was so sick and tired of talking
about it that I just didn't want to

anymore. So for a while, my therapist,
my new therapist, she was great. She was

patient with me. We'd talk about my day.

or a date that I had went on.

And now, lately, the past couple of
months, we've been very real. She had me

write myself a letter saying, what if
you had wanted to do porn?

What if you had agreed to go there
knowing what was going to happen?

How would your life be different? How
would you accept yourself?

And I got so angry.

It was so difficult at first, and
eventually I wrote that letter, and I

everyone makes mistakes, everyone has
trials, and it gave me a lot

of self -compassion that I didn't have
before.

Some of the girls did go into filming,
or they went to San Diego knowing

what was going to take place, what they
were going to be part of.

But they were groomed, they were
coerced, they were lied to.

Yeah, they're still tricked.

Yes, and that's why the men were
convicted of not only sex trafficking,

conspiracy for sex trafficking. And I
don't think any differently of any woman

for their story.

I didn't know, and it is frustrating
being portrayed as a Jane Doe because

they kind of just lump us all into one
thing, and everyone's story was unique.

Everyone was lied to. Everyone was
coerced. I thought I was flying out for

clothing modeling.

And it looks like one thing. It makes us
all look like porn stars. The lawsuit

has called us money -hungry sluts.

There's been a lot of horrible backlash.

So being honest and authentic finally
with that, being real with my therapist,

actually delving into the pain and
letting myself experience it.

has been incredibly helpful and i also
do ketamine therapy i've been doing that

for about a year and a half i go into a
ketamine center they're in a lot of

different areas it's given me a chance
to disassociate it's a drug that they

in anesthesia a lot of people call it
specialty they use as a party drug

don't recommend that because it can
actually be a super

transformational tool and really
beneficial um and when i do it i listen

piano music i have an eye shade on i lay
on a couch they do three injections

over 90 minutes cozy lays on my lap
she's amazing and basically you're in a

different dimension you lose more so
than other psychedelics um you lose

of self and it's almost terrifying for a
moment not not knowing who you are. And

at the same time, it was the biggest
relief because my trauma wasn't there.

when I kind of came to, when you have
that terrifying moment, who am I? You

think, who do I want to be?

And like, logically, I knew like, oh, I
have all of this crap in my life. And

during suicidal moments and times that I
had before, I thought, I can't possibly

live with this. I can't.

bear another day it's never going to go
away but in that moment the first

ketamine session that I did I thought
what do I want to go back to how do I

to make it better what do I value and
the first thing I saw was cozy and she's

oh cool she's a big value but I thought
about family and I thought of all the

things I would miss if I didn't make it
back to my body

And it's a really different experience.
Every time I've been, it's been very

different. But it actually regenerates
gray matter in your brain. And it helps

reset synapses, recreates positive
neural pathways. So it actually is good

you. Literally changing your brain.
Yeah. And helping you frame the trauma

different ways. Absolutely.

And sometimes I'm not ready to feel the
trauma. Sometimes it's like...

I'm having a fight with my mom, and
that's what I think about going in.

Sometimes I set intentions.

Sometimes it's deep, and sometimes it's
lighter.

But it's been really transformational.

I highly recommend it to post -traumatic
stress disorder patients, to

survivors. If antidepressants and
regular traditional therapy hasn't

it's been around.

A lot of people are seeing a lot of
success with ketamine. Yeah, for over

10 years, it's been considered a really
positive alternative treatment for PTSD,

especially with war veterans.

So I highly recommend it. But do it with
a medical practitioner because

they dose you correctly.

And that's been the thing that has
helped me the very most. It helped me

my antidepressants. It helped me realize
I have things to live for.

Opening up to my family has been the
biggest transformation in my life. They

didn't know what had happened until the
FBI trial started.

They never asked, and I never told them.
I think consciously I thought

I was protecting them, letting them
think I was a porn star because that's

they thought. That's how it looked.

And there was all this shame.

How could you do this to us? Why would
you?

We all have to live with this.

And that was the first time I considered
taking my life because I couldn't bear

the thought of my parents telling my
little brother what his sister had just

done.

Sorry to interrupt. No, you're fine. It
seems like the stigmatization around

that whole thing is what caused you to
feel...

dread about opening up absolutely i
think that was that was the worst part

me being i i was um this good girl in
high school uh no one everyone

knew that i wasn't a partier i i was
kind of labeled a prude because i was

religious and i was proud of that and
the first person that sent me the video

when it was released about a week and a
half two weeks after was a boy from high

school with a picture of his penis
saying wow

who grew out of her prude stages, and I
just immediately got violently ill, and

my parents were sent it by one of their
family friends later that night. So in

the religious community that I grew up
in, my high school community, I felt

everyone knew within a week.

Wow. And I was just disgustingly
harassed, and

no one asked. No one said, hey, are you
okay?

Hey, what happened? Hey, why did you do
this?

So I just let it go on. I just said how
sorry I was for betraying their trust

and making them feel shame, thinking
maybe I was protecting them a little

my pain.

And then I thought, if I kill myself,
everyone's better off. I don't have to

make them ashamed of me anymore.

Everything that I've done wrong will go
away.

And I still felt so sorry. stupid and
naive for going out there i held a lot

self -guilt um i thought oh you stupid
naive girl and

they were charged for not only sex
trafficking but conspiracy for sex

trafficking these men did it for over 10
years they were master groomers yeah

they were master manipulators and liars
and it's taken a lot of therapy to work

through that i still have days where I
blame myself, and I think a lot of the

girls do. But overall, we've created
this really beautiful support network.

having my family actually know what
happened, it was difficult that it took

FBI trial for that to come to light. But
having them actually know what

happened, knowing that I was a victim, I
hate that word.

I like survivor so much more, but I...

It's something I have to internalize.

It's important to acknowledge. It is.
It's important to acknowledge you're a

victim. And then also not have that
victim mentality. Yes.

Rape trauma syndrome.

People blame themselves. And they're so
traumatized from the sexual assault that

they don't tell anyone.

And it's so common. And I did that for
years. I didn't think I deserved to be

alive. I didn't think anyone deserved to
know the truth.

And no one asked.

Everyone was so eager to.

label me that I just owned it. And I
think that's been the best part of

having the FBI trial.

Seeking some justice has been
incredible, getting to know the other

how strong they are, but getting to kind
of tell the world, no, this is not my

identity.

This was not something I chose, knowing
that I couldn't look at myself naked in

the mirror for a few years. I felt
physically ill if I would go to the

store and a man would check me out
because I felt like it's this ugly

might as well be tattooed on my face.
Everyone recognizes me.

And it's still reposted weekly.

Like I own the rights and it happens
constantly. I've changed my phone number

six times. I've had to move. I'd have
stalkers, a dead cat left on my

The harassment has been disgusting.

I got stood up on a date one time.

And he said, oh, I wouldn't want to go
out with a porn star. And so I sent him

the link to our article.

And he goes, yeah, but it's still out
there.

And I was like, okay, yeah, this is part
of my life. I got divorced because my

ex -husband couldn't handle it. I was so
broken.

And he didn't know how to support me.

And it just destroyed things.

As you're talking, one of the things
that's going through my mind is the

interview that was done by the BBC with
Mia Khalifa.

I don't know if you've seen that. Oh,
yes, yes.

But in that interview, she says that she
gets emails and DMs all the time from

women who were trafficked into
pornography.

And I think there's so many
misconceptions around what happened to

I don't think that people understand
when they go, on the internet to get a

quick fix um they don't understand they
might be participating in human

trafficking right all of the men that
have seen my video and objectified me i

goosebumps it's a hard thing to talk
about um you don't know the girls or

or children that are in that video yeah
i might have looked like i wanted to be

there because I had been beaten up and
threatened and trapped and drugged. And

I've seen it. I've had to see it
multiple times because of court.

And I can tell my eyes look completely
dead. And I remember how I felt in that

moment. I remember having to lock myself
in the bathroom afterwards, coming out

to a blood -soaked bed.

I remember how it felt.

I didn't enjoy a single moment of that.
I can't actually enjoy sex since then.

Never have been able to. Of course.

Sorry, TMI for you. Not TMI.

It's just so easy to disassociate
because it doesn't feel safe. My own

doesn't feel safe. And the idea that men
are masturbating to me and thinking

in that moment like, oh, so hot.

looking for these things on Google, they
have no idea the blood, the pain, the

tears, the suicide attempts, how much
that ruined my life and how

they're contributing to the need every
time they go on a pornographic website.

So I think the more that we talk about
how destructive porn is, how

closely related human trafficking and
porn is, porn's creating the need.

As long as there's a demand, they will
supply it. Absolutely.

They will exploit.

So we need to lower the demand and try
to create real relationships, real

intimacy, maybe work on ourselves a
little so we feel worthy of that.

I just want to say that if any of our
listeners do struggle with the porn

that that doesn't make them a bad
person. Not at all. And that if they are

experiencing that, there are resources
to...

get to a healthier place for them
absolutely but going back to what you

about the fact that they might be
consuming content that is that appears

consensual yeah it was top 10 the girls
do porn channel top 10 recommended

channels for years right and they had a
download button right that's a big time

company recommended right which is why
Pornhub doesn't have a download button

anymore but how how long was that around
how many people

We're affected by that. That's one of
the reasons my video still gets released

constantly. Right. Because it's been
downloaded and people aren't going to

listen to a court order in different
countries. They don't care.

Or even within this country.

Yeah. So I know that it's never going to
go away.

I do agree fully that people struggling
with pornography, alcoholics aren't bad

people. Gambling doesn't make you a bad
person. Watching pornography does not

make you a bad person. Everyone makes
mistakes.

And I think I've ruined porn.

I hope I've ruined porn.

I know I have for my brothers.

And hopefully I have for some other
people. Hopefully I do for some

today. But it doesn't make you a bad
person. There's help for everyone.

I can't stress that enough.

The name of our podcast, as you know, is
Consider Before Consuming. And I think

that the listeners will benefit from
hearing your story.

You've made it abundantly clear that
you...

were not interested in doing pornography
or nudity of any type. No, not of any

type. I was forced into it.

It all started with a job listing.

Yes, that's correct.

Can you go into details about how you
happened upon that particular job

Yes. I was doing a lot of fitness
modeling at the time.

I was in school and paying for college
myself, fitness modeling.

was closed i taught yoga so it was
professional i i had never done anything

i had never sent a nude picture prior to
that it said uh female fitness models

wanted age 18 to 22.

they posted these all over the country
and craigslist is big um where i'm from

everyone uses like i sold a car on
craigslist one time that i always

like oh like they probably bet these
things i'm sure it's professional and

had a um a website link that they sent
me and it looked really professional.

They had a really great photographer. I
was like, oh, okay, awesome.

Then I spoke to reference models. So
everything was like very professional,

well planned, very well thought out.

They had it there.

whole routine completely down to a T.
Right. They were professional groomers.

Yeah. Especially making sure to talk on
the phone more. Oh, well, if you have a

minute, I'll just give you a quick call
and I can explain it. And I'm like, oh,

well, that's great.

Yeah. Seems personable, but it doesn't
leave a paper trail.

Absolutely. I wouldn't think that. I
think they made sure to not have paper

trails and their lawyer encouraged a lot
of that as well.

We know that you made it abundantly
clear. Again, I've said this, but I'm

to state it again.

that you were not interested in doing
porn but can you speak to when was the

first time they introduced that idea and
what your response was absolutely um so

i had shown them fitness photos that's
what they they asked for um to like see

my muscle tone flexibility things like
that it didn't seem sexual whatsoever

um it was probably after about

Ten phone calls and email exchanges that
they said, oh, by the way, we also own

an adult film production company and
nude modeling and swimsuit modeling. If

you'd be interested in that, said this
over the phone, you could make even more

money. And it's all very tasteful, very
professional.

We had talked long enough at this point
that I'm like, oh, these guys are good

guys.

They always say, hey, how are you doing?

It was always kind of rushed, but they
were very polite.

And I felt like we had like a good
rapport. Yeah, a good rapport. There was

some camaraderie almost.

And when they said that, I was like, oh,
my goodness, absolutely not. I was

raised super religious.

No, like never thought in my mind. And
then they're like, oh, well, we'll send

you an email really quick with the
pictures of our male performer just in

It piques your interest kind of thing,
which I think is a strategic move on

their end, because then in court they
can say, we sent you an email.

Exactly. Exactly.

Yeah. And then and then there and then
I'm calling them saying, absolutely not.

Right. Fitness modeling, not interested
in any other part of any industry you're

part of.

Hell no. Never going to happen.

And.

That's when they were like, oh, well, if
you were interested, this would be the

distribution. You would make $10 ,000
instead of just a couple thousand for

clothing modeling.

And I'm like, fitness apparel only.
Thank you.

So I did know it was an option, but I
had vehemently rejected it prior

to going out to San Diego.

Did they seem to respect your rejection?

Yes. They said, oh, okay, well, it's
always an option.

Once you're there, if you change your
mind, just think about it.

So when I got on that airplane, I
completely thought I'm going out for

modeling. And that is it.

And that was just, you had just turned
22.

Yes, it was a couple of weeks after my
22nd birthday.

And if I put myself in your shoes, I
think I would feel some excitement as I

land in San Diego for this, you know,
this, what you thought was a fitness

modeling job.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, and I was a professional yoga
instructor, so I was like, okay, I'm

qualified to do this, and it was
completely different the moment I got

When you say that it was completely
different from the moment you got there,

you speak to that a little bit more? At
what point did you become suspicious?

I think it's important to talk about...

Right before we go there, the reference
models.

I had FaceTime conversations.

I wasn't just like, oh, I'm going to go
out to San Diego and just trust these

men. I was wary.

I was like, okay, so I've spoken to your
photographer. I've seen your website.

I've seen portfolios.

I'd really like to speak with some prior
models and see how the experience went

for them.

So I had two different FaceTime calls.

The girls were really, really sweet.
They had Instagrams. They were like, oh,

these guys are the best to work with. I
made great money. It was super easy.

They're so kind. You'll be super
comfortable in and out in like a day.

you're good. And if you want to do the
porn part, it was super

enjoyable. Best sex I've ever had.

You won't regret it kind of thing. And
I'm like, nope, absolutely not.

Clothing modeling.

And they're like, oh, OK, well, it's an
option.

Like they had also said it's an option.
But when I declined, it wasn't like, oh,

you can't come. Right.

Because I would have never gone had that
happened. So you did your due diligence

to vet the company.

I thought I had. I blame myself a lot
still for not doing more.

But I had never heard the word girls do
porn. I had zero idea that that is what

they did. Well, they seem to completely
respect your no.

They did. Yeah. And they were like, it's
an option. It's an option. Yeah. And so

I think that that's all anybody can do.

Yeah. Your intention.

And I'm sure that your red flag would
have gone off if they were like, oh,

on, don't be a prude or whatever. Yeah.
There was none of that at all.

Respectful. Yeah.

Yeah. So you did your due diligence. You
know, there have been parents that

literally dropped their daughters off
and my parents knew where I was going.

They had my flight info.

They sent me my.

return flight to before I went out and
my hotel info, I had all of it in an

email, told my mom everything, I'm going
out for clothing modeling, and then she

doesn't hear from me for a few days.
Wow.

So going back to the question, now that
we have that context, going back to my

question of when did you start to become
suspicious of this opportunity?

How did that come about? How did that
play out?

Um, like, do you mean once I got there?
Yeah. Okay. So I, I landed, um, and

Teddy Geigy, uh, he was their
photographer. I had no idea who he was,

had talked to Matthew Wolf on the phone
and he's like, Hey, um, there's going to

be a black escalade out front to pick
you up. Super excited.

Um, we'll just, uh, let you get like a
good night's rest tonight. And then

go to the beach and shoot tomorrow, uh,
so that we have better lighting.

And I'm like, oh, okay.

That sounds good. And then I see the
black Escalade. I get in.

He came around and opened the back door
for me and put my suitcase in. And I was

like, oh, super. What a gentleman. Thank
you.

And then the second we start driving,
the doors lock.

And I kind of had a weird, just a little
bit of a weird feeling. And I like.

moved the door a little bit and it
wouldn't budge so I was like I started

getting wary and then they he was like
hey do you want anything um to eat and I

had a sandwich and he was like wow most
most girls don't like eating before this

they want to look their skinniest and I
was like what an odd comment and then

they took me to Andre Garcia's apartment
and automatically getting out of the

car

And Teddy comes up, like opens my door
for me. I couldn't open it, has his hand

on my back. And automatically there's
another guy that comes up and he was a

bigger guy.

I don't even know what his name was. He
was the one that eventually took me to

the airport to leave when they finally
let me go.

And he stood next to me. So I have men
on either side of me.

and i'm like okay where where are we
going and they were like oh we just

to um like take a quick headshot of you
and we have a makeup artist for the

headshot and i'm like oh okay like that
sounds normal yeah like everything's

like it's all oh oh it'll be great
they're being super

It'll just take a minute.

Great. Yeah. Great makeup artist. Really
cool apartment. Right.

And like everything's gated. It's like
an underground parking garage.

So I'm like, I haven't seen a single
person other than these two men since I

landed.

So I get in the elevator, we go up and
automatically once I was in the

room and the door shuts, the bigger guy
stands by the door.

And they're like, oh, hey, let's take
your purse for you.

So they take my purse, which has my cell
phone in it.

And then makeup artists started. I was
alone kind of in the living room

area waiting for a while before
everything else started happening. And I

was never alone.

I'm sitting alone on a couch while a man
is always in a stool or standing in

front of the door.

And I'm like, OK, this is like, can I
have my phone? And they're like, oh, we

just placed your person safe.

Just be safe. We don't want you thinking
we're stealing from you or anything.

And I'm like, OK, when is this going to
happen? It's getting late and it just

gets weirder and weirder.

Hair and makeup are done. They're like,
oh, you probably want to shower. Go use

the shower and straighten your hair.

And I'm like, I showered this morning.
I'm good.

And my hair and makeup is done. And then
they told me to take my clothes off.

and it was what they called the panda
pic they had a picture of a panda like

artwork in the background and at that
point it was andre garcia teddy and so i

have multiple big men in the room i'm
five foot five don't have my phone

and and they're like okay take your
clothes off michael pratt needs a

make sure you are who you say you are
That's when I really felt terrified and

began to panic.

And eventually they stripped me, not by
my choice.

And then they took me, four men,
including Andre Garcia

at that point, took me back down to the
Escalade. And they're like, we're just

going to take you to your hotel room.

And I'm pretty traumatized at that
point. I'm like, I want my phone. I want

go home. I don't want to.

I don't care about the yoga clothing
modeling. I'm not doing this anymore.

And they're like, okay, well, we'll just
drop you off at your hotel then.

And we go to the hotel. On the way,
Andre stopped the car. And I still can't

get out at this point. Like, it's still
locked. I don't have my phone.

Stops the car and picks up marijuana and
a pill, a bottle of pills

from some guy in, like, an alley.

On the way and like the windows are
tinted. I can't roll my window down. I

do anything at this point. I'm like, I'm
hoping that they're just going to take

me to the hotel now.

And so once we got there, it's like
underground parking. Once again, there's

one around.

We go up to the hotel and they have all
these boxes.

And the moment that I knew I was in
really big trouble was when the

door shut and one man stayed outside.

while one guy left with the car, and
Teddy and Andre are in the room, and the

other guy is guarding the door from
outside.

And they automatically unplugged the
hotel room phone and set all these

out in front of me.

And at some point, the guy that was
guarding the door came in to intimidate

into signing these papers, and I'm like,
what is this? And they're like, oh,

it's just for your athletic.

photo shoot tomorrow and I'm like I
don't even want to do it anymore like

can I just go can you guys go and at
that point I started getting threatened

I was intimidated they're standing over
me saying sign here sign here initial

here and I'm like can I read these and
no no everything we have to hurry we

to hurry and long story short that's
when everything began um from like 9 p

till 4 in the morning I was raped um

They took breaks and told me I had to re
-film scenes.

I tried to run naked from the hotel room
at one point.

I was physically shoved back and there
was someone outside of the door.

I didn't even make it to the door.

I said, fuck you, I'm not doing anything
else. And they were like, oh, then

we'll put everything on the internet
that we have right now.

with your full name or we'll send it to
your parents do you want them to find

out um so i i went through all i i froze
i i fought i

i didn't know if they would kill me
right i was quite terrified of that and

uh it got more and more threatening and
then like oh do you want me to hurt you

now do you want it to be rougher um and
every time i i didn't look like i was

enjoying it they would refilm the scene
Yeah, eventually I just wanted it to be

over, so eventually I did what they
said. But at no point did I enjoy any of

During my deposition, their lawyer put
it up, a

freezed still image of my video of me in
a very compromised position, nude, and

said, sure looks like you're enjoying it
in this part.

He was trying to get me to admit guilt
or some sort of...

ownership um and i had to physically run
from the room and throw up wow and

when the um when the raping did finally
stop when they finally got what

they wanted um i locked myself in the
bathroom and i eventually it was

it was starting to get light at that
point and i eventually came out and they

had ordered room service and were
sitting there eating burgers and french

watching TV, Teddy and Andre.

And I said, get out now.

And they were like, oh, no, want a
french fry?

Like, stop looking so sad and, like,
wanted to do more.

And I didn't realize that they had
canceled the other hotel they had booked

me. They expected me to stay there that
night.

I was, like, physically in pain for
days.

And it was not only was it like awful
being violated, but

it was like physically gruesome and
horrendous, horribly

painful. Right.

It seems like they didn't even care to
edit out like your own blood because it

was just part of it. So was that just
part of it? No, I think I think they

edited out quite a bit because the
videos.

They wanted it to appear consensual.
Yeah, the video is a little less than an

hour. Okay.

And, yeah,

I don't think, I've seen it. I don't
think that it really showed the blood

was covering the bed.

Strategic.

They didn't let me leave.

They brought me back to Andre Garcia's
apartment in the morning.

I still didn't have my phone.

Didn't eat breakfast or anything. They
tried to get me to film a solo scene.

And then they wanted me to film a
threesome scene. And I said, absolutely

During the night before, Teddy had kept
saying like, oh, give us a little teaser

of your solo tomorrow.

And I'm like, what? I don't even know
what you're talking about. And he was

like, you have to masturbate on camera.

And I'm like, absolutely not, not going
to happen. And then there's more of all

those stages of trauma.

I did the fighting. I did the screaming.

It didn't help. And the threats got
worse and worse. And when they brought

family into it, I would have done
anything to get out of it at that point.

And so I said, yeah, I'll give you what
you want. So eventually in the morning,

they're like, okay, so we canceled your
flight home.

You're going to film the solo scene. And
I'm like, You can kill me at this

point. You can do whatever you want. I'm
not doing anything else.

And they had picked up another girl at
that point, and I told her she needed to

run. And she knew what she was there
for. She's not part of the case at all.

And I was like, no, you don't
understand. You need to get out of here.

got more aggressive that day, tried
other things. There was more

physical and sexual trauma that day.

And eventually when I just refused to
comply and they knew they had another

that was willing and ready, they let me
go to the airport that night.

Through the process, did they force you
to take any drugs or alcohol?

Yes. After they forced me to sign the
paperwork, they forced me to smoke

marijuana and gave me four shots of
vodka.

Yeah, I can see it in my eyes.

Like, I look dead inside, and that's
exactly how I felt.

And then as soon as I got home, the
video was all over the Internet with my

full, very unique name a week and a
half, two weeks later.

A lot more happened in that time.

I tried to call Michael Pratt at one
point and say, like, absolutely not.

you were home?

No, while I was still at Andre's. Okay.

You got your phone back? No, Andre let
me use his phone because I wanted to

to Pratt. And Andre's like, oh, we can
talk about the solo video.

And Pratt started going off on me
saying, you're not as hot as we thought

were. Your body's not as good as we
thought it was.

We're not going to pay you anymore.

Yeah, a lot of degrading, a lot of
swearing, lots of yelling.

And I'm like, please, please just let me
go home.

And I didn't have my purse. Like I
didn't, I couldn't make my flight home.

trapped. I was terrified.

I didn't know how long I would be there.
And yeah, by the time I got home, when

I got picked up from the airport, I was
so traumatized. I didn't, I thought as

long as no one knows, as long as no one
finds out.

I can just bury it and hopefully it goes
away.

And I did go to the doctor within a few
days and I had like terrible vaginal

lacerations and the internal injuries
from the

horrific rape. Like it wasn't just rough
sex. It was complete abuse.

When you say that if you just buried it,
it would all go away.

Was that the case?

Did you try to bury it? Did it go away?

No. And even letting my family think the
worst of me, which in my mind, having

my family think I was a porn star for
years was the worst thing in my mind.

Worse than the abuse.

Having them think I was a porn star,
yes, that was worse than the abuse in my

mind. Having them think the absolute
worst of me. I still have...

I have a big family and I still have
moments at family gatherings where I'll

feel like, oh, I should just leave
early. I don't really feel welcome. I

like I'm the screw -up of the family.

Goodness. Yeah, I'm still mending those
relationships.

I have a lot of deep -rooted anger and
resentment that no

one...

like could see the cry for help right
and i i will be honest i was very good

hiding it for a while and then they were
like oh she's just so suicidal and

drinking to numb and hurting herself
because she's so ashamed because she

embarrassed our family so much because
everyone knows um and like my dad's

friends had seen it like my parents had
seen it because it was on major porn

sites Yeah, the link that everyone was
getting was from Pornhub.

And I thought, okay, I can do this for
everyone.

It's better if they don't know. It's
harder on me, but I'm protecting them.

And I now like going on dates or with
friends or a lot of people in my life, I

almost feel like I owe it to them. Just
tell them right away because I'm like,

oh, you'll find out anyway.

And I almost think.

Oh, once you find out, you won't want to
date me or you won't want to be my

friend because it's this horrible,
horrible thing.

And I thought I owed it to them. I
thought you want to contextualize it

off the get go so they understand what
happened.

It's more I just like want to warn them
how broken I am sometimes. Now I like

with the FBI trial, there's proof.

Yeah. So I can be like, no, I was human
traffic. Yes, there is a pornographic

video of me out there.

here is the 20 year sentencing. But
before there was proof, I thought no

going to believe me anyway.

So I might as well just warn everyone.
Yeah, there's this awful thing. Yes, it

was trafficking, but I didn't feel like
anyone would believe me anyway. So I

just kind of became a shell of my former
self. I wasn't like the gregarious,

vivacious, bubbly girl I was as a kid
and growing up. And I feel like they

that from me.

What was the time frame from when it
happened? It happened in January of

And fast forward to the conviction of
them being charged with sex trafficking.

How many years was it between those two
dates? Andre Garcia was just charged in

June of 2021.

So it was years.

That's five years.

It was years, yeah.

I joined the trial.

It had already been going on for like a
year.

We had to merge two different groups of
girls.

So I became Jane Doe 18.

And that's when I told my family, hey, I
joined an FBI trial.

They said, oh, you're just embarrassed
trying to get this off the Internet,

And I'm like, no, this is what happened.

During the sentencing, I didn't let
anyone come with me. I didn't want to

mom through hearing about it.

And she's read the articles that I wrote
with you guys.

But it took years to get to a place
where I could even, like, talk about it.

it's been six and a half years. And I
feel like just since testifying

against Andre Garcia last June, I feel
like that gave me some of my life back.

Good. The harassment hasn't lessened at
all.

I just kind of had to get stronger.

Has your mom and family increased their
understanding and empathy as

the convictions have come out and they
better understand the situation?

Yeah, I think having proof.

It's sad that it takes that. My family
has been great and way more

understanding. It's more like friends,
people I knew growing up. They're like,

oh, my gosh.

I thought I knew you.

And now I can kind of say, or that one
guy that stood me up, I can send him an

article and be like, there you go.

You're a jackass. And at the same time,
I don't blame people.

I know it is a lot of trauma.

We do all have trauma. We all have
things in our closets.

Sometimes we're just afraid to be
ourselves.

And I really am trying to.

own it now that's part of doing this
podcast i just want to educate people i

want to make sure this isn't a taboo to
talk about i want to reduce the

stigmas against it um as you've do you
mind if i interrupt no please say your

initial response was to hide it right
and bury it and act like it wasn't never

happened yeah i know that no that I had
that trauma and carried it alone.

Right. And we know that's not the best
approach to trauma, right? But it's a

natural instinct to want to do that.
Absolutely.

I'm just curious how it's been. How has
it been for you to actually speak out

about it, to own that that happened, and
if it's been helpful to talk more about

it?

I think when I finally opened up to my
family.

I was terrified that they wouldn't
believe me. And I had the evidence at

point. And since I opened up to them,
it's gotten easier.

Mostly since we put Garcia away for 20
years.

I was the only girl that hadn't written
her statement.

Every single girl that was there that
testified.

emailed their statement to the judge or
brought it handwritten and had it ready.

I typed mine out on my phone in my hand
while the first couple

of girls were testifying.

And I waited in a different room where
it was on a big video monitor so I could

see what was going on.

I was like halfway through.

So I didn't even know what I was going
to say. I didn't even really know if I

could do it.

and I didn't have anyone there
supporting me um should have brought

that would have been really nice would
have been helpful I had yeah I had

stitches on my arms I had just tried to
die a week before so I didn't even know

if I could do it and I think that that
was one of the proudest moments of my

life um there was a lot of a lot of
women had anger and hatred and

and they have every right and a lot of
people said um you're incapable of

change. And who's incapable of change?

Andre Garcia. Oh yeah. Yeah. And he, um,
he wouldn't like make eye contact with

us. And I asked the judge at one point
at the end of my testimony, if I could

address him.

And I said, and I was like really
grateful that I could even, I, that I

the capacity to even feel this way. I
said, it's not up to me to judge the

of your soul, but I truly hope.

that you do change one day.

And the only reason I testified was so
that he couldn't keep hurting girls.

That's the only reason I'm here today,
so that we can educate people.

But since that moment, it's been easier
to talk about. Good. I think going

through every detail, writing the
articles with you guys, it was

it does help me heal.

Because I still have the guilt. I still
crave validation. I don't

even realize it sometimes.

It's not human nature.

Yeah, it really is.

And as a nurse, sometimes the best thing
I can do is sit there and hold

someone's hand and let them talk about
it. I think a lot of the times when we

have friends or family, you say, hey,
I'm struggling. And they automatically

say, oh, well, go exercise.

Like last night, I was having a hard
time because of today.

Oh, because of the wolf. Yeah, there was
there was there were some articles

posted and it just automatically says,
like, this is what happened to all of

these girls and being lumped in there,
being called a porn star, being things

that say, like, we got awarded millions
of dollars in this settlement. Like,

I've never seen a dime of that money.

I've never done any of this for money.

like hospital bills, therapy, it's all
ridiculously expensive.

They've ruined our lives in so many
different ways.

But just being like reminded of that.

Yes, he pled guilty.

He should have years ago.

Andre Garcia got 20 years.

Some women thought he should have gotten
life.

It is validating. I'm grateful that we
have a justice system that does listen

us and that we are seeing some justice.
But every time.

a trial comes up, the harassment ramps
up. It's reposted. I've had disgusting

messages the past couple of weeks.

I'll probably change my phone number
again soon.

And it's something that I just have to
prepare myself for.

I'm not using my name today in this
because I don't want to make this about

I want to give all of the other girls
the amount of compassion that they

deserve.

This isn't about me. It's about telling
the story of what these men did.

And this is my personal story. But we
all had awful trauma. We all

have to deal with it. We all get lumped
into these categories.

We're considered the JDs, the GDP girls.
And there's like Reddit feeds calling

us all sorts of things like, oh, they're
just trying to sue Pornhub to get more

money. And it's like, what money?

I've never seen that.

Thank you for harassing us more.

And I just want to say, if at some point
you do receive money, that's justice.

Yeah, it would help pay for therapy and
things that these women desperately

need. That's how it works.

Yeah, they hid all of their assets,
though. I think that that's something

is good for people to actually know.

That first lawsuit we did, where we did
sue JDP, we've never seen a dime from

it. And, like, who knows if we ever
will.

When you say sued JDP.

Oh, you mean GDP?

Yeah, GDP.

Well, there's, in court documents,
there's evidence that Michael Pratt

when I bankrupt this company, these
girls are fucked.

Yes, so he did declare bankruptcy before
fleeing.

That was Wolf or Pratt? That was Pratt.
That was Pratt.

And I remember, yeah, and our lawyers
have said, like, we think he's hidden

of his assets offshore or it's in
cryptocurrency or whatever.

So we've just kind of accepted, like, I
never went into it for that. I went into

it to fight for other women. We are
grateful that you're doing that. Thank

The world's a better place because
you're doing that.

It's getting easier and easier to talk
about.

I think it's important to note, too,
that y 'all are not just going after

from a legal standpoint. You also fought
as soon as the videos were posted with

takedown requests.

Oh, yeah, I do that still.

constantly right and so you're not this
isn't a monetary gain thing this is also

like you're fighting for your own
dignity to have these videos of your

exploitation take it down and all women
have what was the response like and when

was the first time that you tried to
have a takedown request for all these

mainstream tube sites oh yeah were those
requests ever listened to that's yeah

it's a really good question um the first
request i sent was to porn hub because

that was the first place i saw it

I didn't get a response.

It wasn't taken down. And then I
realized once I was sent more and more

links and once more people were showing
it to me, once I made the mistake of

Googling myself, I kind of realized it's
like a drop in a bucket.

At that point, I did send out.

I still do this. I still make the
mistake of Googling myself.

When I feel strong, I usually do it like
once a month right now, which is why I

know it was just recently reposted a few
weeks ago.

I think I've managed to probably get it
taken off of four websites.

Permanently?

You can still Google it. It still shows
up on like a thumbnail.

The image is still there. I keep trying
to get Google to take those down.

And I did participate in an illicit
image study.

with google um they are trying to
improve their system but like there's

drop in a bucket there's horrible
pornography all over the internet and

i try to get mine taken down i feel like
the more it surfaces even though i own

the legal rights and yeah most websites
don't listen most websites have a more

pornographic websites will have like a
contact us at the bottom um and so i'll

send the link and say hey this is
illegal this was human trafficking this

against my will i have court documents
proving it i'll attach those if i need

um one of the girls had wrote out like a
really good outline that we could just

start sending um but i realized like the
more i look it up the sicker i get

And so I have just had to get stronger.

It happened six and a half years ago.
Some women it happened over nine years

ago, too, and it's still reposted
constantly.

And I mean, a huge part of that is
because for so long, tube site culture

been you can upload anything and
download anything.

And after Nicholas Kristof, the Children
of Pornhub article in December 2020, I

wrote the aftercard and discover we're
going to.

severed their um their working
relationship with porn hub thank

that was when porn hub said oh okay well
we'll take down this we'll uh we'll

remove the download option yeah try to
verify more of these um accounts and

sites yeah and content but x videos
which is the largest porn tube site in

whole world they get about three billion
visitors yeah i've seen my video on

both of those they still have a download
button yes they do and this is

something that a lot of people don't
understand is once something is uploaded

these tube sites youtube it's you have
to go through multiple steps to download

content you can still do it that's very
true but porn tube sites give you the

button right there yeah or you can just
screen record on your computer or your

phone exactly and so people yeah oh um
they're they're so greedy asking for

when they have the ownership rights when
the reality is that's what's so

upsetting game of whack -a -mole yeah
that's that's the the money hungry horse

there's a big reddit uh what are they
called reddit thread i don't have reddit

but i've seen some really disgusting
things on there about this trial

I'm using people's names, links to
videos on other sites.

Reddit hasn't done anything about taking
those down.

And they post our personal information
constantly.

Like, my parents have received letters
saying, we're going to come into your

home and rape your daughter and murder
her.

Like, that's my parents. I found a fan
page for myself that

had pictures of...

Me with my nieces and nephews, pictures
of me growing up, pictures of my family,

of one of my weddings, pictures of Cozy.

I think that disgusts me more than
anything, that they're not only hurting

us individually, they're wrecking our
families. People have disowned their

over this, and not everyone believes it.

Even though we've been working with the
FBI, even though we have won

lawsuits, we have had some justice, but
it's still, oh, money -hungry whores.

They're just porn stars. They just want
more.

They're just embarrassed that it got so
big.

But that's not true at all. That's never
been true.

Going back to the name of the podcast,
Consider Before Consuming.

We hope that our listeners stop the
demand for sex trafficking by refusing

consume pornography.

And one of the things that needs to be
considered is what you are consuming may

not be consensual.

Even when it looks consensual.

Do you want to take a break?

Yeah, that'd be great.

Regardless of age, ethnicity, gender,
sexual orientation, religious

political persuasion, or any other
diversifying factor, porn can impact

If you've recognized the harmful effects
of pornography in your life or

recognize the harms pornography can
cause in society, we welcome you to

fighter. As fighters, we strive to be
bold, understanding, open -minded, and

accepting. If you're ready to become an
official fighter, We invite you to join

the movement at ftnd .org forward slash
fighter. That's ftnd .org

forward slash fighter. Join us in our
fight for love by becoming a fighter

today.

Thanks for joining us on this episode of
Consider Before Consuming. Consider

Before Consuming is brought to you by
Fight the New Drug.

Fight the New Drug is a non -religious
and non -legislative organization that

exists to provide individuals the
opportunity to make an informed decision

regarding pornography by raising
awareness on its harmful effects using

science, facts, and personal accounts.

If you'd like to learn more about
today's guest and the conversation we

can check out the links included with
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Again, big thanks to you for listening
to this conversation.

As you go about your day, we invite you
to increase your self -awareness, look

both ways, check your blind spots and
consider before consuming.