Original subtitles

It's a jungle out there.

It's a jungle out there.

He's been shot, stabbed seven times, had a claw hammer stuck in his nut, been

run over and left for dead more times than you've all had roots.

If God loves a sinner, he really loves this bloke, the kid from Carlton.

The pride of Pentridge, Melbourne's own Chopper Reed.

Thank you, thank you.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Hello, ladies.

You're looking good tonight, right?

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

Now, many know me as a best -selling author. You know, the most widely -read

Australia at the time. Thank you very much, people.

You know, I mean, good things didn't always happen to me.

I mean, the dumbest cooks in Australia once wanted me dead.

So, I mean, I should have known better than to wander around Melbourne like a

bloody square.

I tried to join the army.

You'd be a great soldier.

Well, yes, one would have thought.

But I failed the bloody psych test.

I wonder why.

Well, this quack, right? He said I had a personality prone to violence.

You'd think I'd want that. You would.

He was a mental peanut, you know?

Hey, mate.

Hey, mate.

How you doing?

Yeah, good.

Are you from around here?

We are indeed, mate.

I've got absolutely no idea where I am. Oh, you're a bit lost, are you? I am a

tad lost, yeah. Yeah, let me help you out there, mate. Cheers. I know I'm

so I'm up here, but I don't know where I am. Well, are you going there?

Yeah. Well, this is where you are here, mate.

You got a bit of dash about you, haven't you?

Oi, girls, piss off.

Seen these before?

Yeah. Why don't you pop them on?

No, I'm well.

I don't usually put them on myself.

Don't you?

Got a nice little spot in the boot.

Party for one, Ed?

Yeah. I hope

we're going somewhere

romantic. Oh, it's absolutely beautiful.

Is it?

Bottle of wine, you know?

All the creature comforts, mate. Gentle sperm.

Did you try to hit every fucking bump?

Out. I'm just getting comfy, huh? How about a pillow? A little blankie?

How about a bullet in the leg?

All right.

There's no need to get gnarky.

Get out.

That way. Move.

Oh, it's pretty bloody dark down here, you know. Go on. I don't want to trip

smash me face.

I just got a modelling contract. Oh, what a tragedy.

Yeah, I'm a big deal in Paris.

You think we could take these off?

Bloody hard work like this.

You're doing all right. Just keep digging. You'll be fine.

You're not scared of a little old man, are you?

Yeah.

I'm terrified of you.

Hey, come on. You know, it'll take forever like this, huh?

I mean, we'll misinterpret this right.

I mean, you'd have a Christmas tree full of presents.

You all right?

Throw them back, huh?

You happy?

Yeah.

Go on.

You know, my mum said I'd amount to nothing.

Ended up digging ditches.

Well, look at me now. He was right, Mum.

You happy?

Well, I've got to tell you, you know, for future reference, it's a bad manners

to make a bloke dig his own grave, you know?

Just because you're going to kill me.

There's no excuse for bad manners, right?

You really are a tough bastard, aren't you?

Oh, shit.

It's raw.

I'm going to have to start over. I can't finish it like this.

Oh, my fucking leg!

You know, that grave was never found.

So I started looking for the bloke who hired that donkey to kill me.

I only knew that everyone hated me.

Oh, they hated me. The cops, the carton crew, the painters and dockers. You

know, I was as popular as a pork chop in a synagogue.

I did have an idea who might have set this up.

Alphonse Gagetana.

Remember him? The Black Prince?

What a joke. I mean, he was a totally spineless turd.

A bloody turd! And a smelly one of that!

Wait!

like poker.

I thought it was all a little bit too complicated for you.

I saw you more as the go -fish type of player.

He works with his number. You know that, right? Now, fuck off, Chopper. I swear

in front of the ladies.

Didn't your mum teach you manners?

Is he still using the double -eyed blink?

Is he?

That's how Elfie gets Mr. Moran to raise you when he's got a good hand.

Have you noticed?

I beat you one a bit early, right? You got your hopes up, did you? Don't listen

to him. Now, piss off, Chopper. Not yet, Lewis.

See, somebody tried to kill me.

I'd be racking my nut trying to work out who it was. You robbed lately, eh?

They'd be lining up to kill you. Was it you, fruit seller? See, I've got this

feeling in my water, you know?

Get him the fuck out of here now.

Out! You don't like the smoke?

Well, I'm sorry. Very sorry. Let me put it out.

Hi, boys.

Time for a bit of bashing, isn't it? Oh, that feels nice.

Didn't you send that guy to kill me?

No, I didn't.

Get him out of here.

And stick it up his ass.

All right, all right. Yeah, no. Yeah, I was out of line. Yeah, no.

Leave him, leave him, leave him. Get back in here.

You're not welcome here, Mark.

Do not come back, understand?

Yeah, yeah, I copy that, Alfie.

Yeah, kid.

Thirsty judge.

What the... Tell me, what are you, fucking crazy?

I put the money in the bag.

Hey, what have you got that ear for?

Well, if I had it in my pocket, you couldn't see it. Tick, tick, tick. The

is burning. That's not real. You would never. No, never say never, Alfie.

Money now.

Put it out. Put it out. All right? Please put it out. Like I didn't set you

to get killed. Who did?

Take the money. Take the fucking money. Go.

Take it. Go.

Go. Fuck off.

Take the money and fuck off.

Oh, Padano.

Oh, Padano.

happen, Chuck.

Mate, I'm trying to teach you something here, you know? The truth.

Maybe I've got too many of the goodly electric chucks. So many times as a

kiddie, I don't know what the truth is!

Right! Back in the lab again!

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but if it's not true... Oh, this is true. You're a

Following up the club was a bit of a dramatic license, but I did steal a

of thousand from Alphonse, and he was about to have little whop kittens.

Put it out.

I know who picked you up. I'll tell you.

Christ.

A bloke named Donovan.

He organized the hit.

Did you think I wouldn't find you?

What was that?

Do I know you?

Didn't think so.

So I'm a little confused.

Why do you want to kill me?

What did I ever do to you?

Nothing.

I was just paid to find someone to kill you.

Yeah?

Have you got any of that cash left?

No?

Oh, that is too bad.

See, usually I do this sort of thing to get money.

But in the present situation, you're broke, it seems.

And you've got nothing against me, right?

No. And I've got nothing against you.

So all I want from you is the bloke that gave you the money to pay that numbnut

to kill me.

Then we're sweet.

And who was it?

I'm not hearing nothing.

I'm not hearing nothing. Yeah?

It is not.

Yeah?

Ordinarily, I give blokes to the count of 20 who answer me.

The time it takes to get to the front door.

There's no front door up here, is there?

You've got to answer quicker than that.

Who paid that donkey to kill?

Him. Okay, all right. See yourself.

See yourself.

This should liven you up.

Oh, snap, crackle, pop.

I love a sunburned country.

Oh, who paid you?

Chopper.

Chopper, what the hell are you doing?

What is that smell?

Marcy, Marcy. Gailie, go downstairs.

Go.

Marcy, what are you doing here? Dave said that everybody had gone. Dave's a

bloody idiot. We're still here. We don't leave until... Oh, Jesus.

You've got to set the fire alarms off. How did Jack see you, you moron?

I'm sorry, Marcy. I won't do any more burning. I promise I'm just going to

a couple of toes off, all right? I don't want to know.

I don't want to know. And I expect this place to be cleaned up. Yeah, Marcy, no

worries. I'll take care of that.

Who paid you?

Sid. Sid Collins.

Sid Collins?

I don't know who Sid Collins is. He fucking hates you.

Where do I find this blood?

You Sid Collins?

So why are you trying to kill me?

What are you talking about?

Why do you want to kill me?

I mean,

sitcoms. I mean, I got sent back to Pentridge because of that prick. You

I mean, that maggot. I should have killed him when I had the chance.

Hey, just a bang, bang, I bloody shot him dead.

A bloody idiot.

What's the matter, chump?

Mum,

you OK?

You have another 15 before the break.

You forget the story.

No, no.

I'm fine, I'm fine.

You don't look fine.

It's burning up.

The cops are here.

What for?

The cops coming tonight?

You know what for.

It's the cops, you know? The bloke that we're missing. The cops think I killed

him. But you didn't.

You see that bloke out there between the curtains? By the bar, you see him

there? Where?

Out there, between the curtains, by the bar.

What guy, baby?

I think you should go back out there.

Talking about the past.

Mr. Dredge is up all that bloody shit in my brain box.

Don't do it then.

Tell them about what you're doing now.

And you turn your back on all that other stuff.

Go on straight.

I don't want to hear about that.

They want to hear about me stabbing Nick the Greek in the regnal cavity. That's

what they want to hear about.

These people love you, Mark.

They want to hear whatever you have to say.

They love their child, and they just want the war stories. That's it, the war

stories.

I'll tell you what.

I'll go back out there. No, I'll tell them you can't finish.

No.

No.

Good as gone.

Hmm. Hmm.

Must have been all the needles the doctors bashed up me bum when I was a

They didn't stop all day long. Bang, bang, bang.

I'm bashing them up. I'm bashing them up.

I bloody hate needles.

Now, I've been told you all might want to hear about me going straight.

Raising chooks and me dog missing nibbles and me cat poopful. Is that what

want to hear about?

No, no. Tell us about your ears. How you lost your ears.

I didn't lose them, dickhead. I had them cut off.

I was in a H division at Pentridge, and I knew if I didn't get out, they said

Collins would try to kill me again, right?

So, I mean, I had to get transferred out of there, you know? I had to make the

wardens think I was kind of crazy, you know?

Chopper, I don't know.

Just do it.

I don't want to.

A bloke who tries to cut off his own ears.

You'll make a doctor a breakfast at the chop.

Do it.

And don't just swipe it, right? You're fairly and bloody a rip into it.

Okay? Let's go.

No, no, no, no, no. You don't want to hear that story again.

Watch the movie.

Watch the movie.

I became a president of the Van Gogh Club that day.

Yes. Why don't you want to tell us about Sid Collins?

Hey, mate. What happened to Sid?

Did you do it?

Sid Collins.

He was, uh... He was, uh... Lower than a shark.

Shit.

You know, that prick.

And piss weak, too. You know what I mean? An angry girl with a tennis racket

could give him a flogging.

You know? Bang.

Out of the bloody court.

The big pussy.

I mean, he hated me. He hated me for everything I'd done. That's how I

it.

But did I take revenge on him?

Did I shoot Sid in the gut ten years ago? Am I the reason he's missing now?

No. I got away with... hundreds of crimes.

The one I never did, no one believed me. It's like the fucked up story of the

boy who cried wolf, the boy who cried sick.

Crazy. I mean, I'll admit, back in 91 when I was released, all I wanted,

true, all I wanted was to kill that prick Sid Collins.

That's all I wanted.

And this time, I wasn't going to miss my chance.

I met Margaret outside a fish shop and labelled almost 30 years

ago.

I've got a room booked.

Bucket of ice and bourbon, just like you are.

You're a bloody good scan.

What's all this?

All my, uh, canteen stuff.

That's all I had.

And, uh, you know, I wanted to bring something, you know.

I got a ragged torn up soul I

got a heart that won't stop yearn

We can finish what...

Thank God.

Yeah?

Oh, good.

Good. That's me.

Look, get up. Get up. Move, move, move. What's going on?

They were dead.

Chopper is in a hotel in South Yarra.

So what?

So, so, he stole from me ten grand.

Look, it was about four.

I don't give a fuck how much it was.

Nobody steals from me. It's not worth it.

It's all right. I'm not going to kill him. No.

Alphonse White. Alphonse White!

Alphonse White! Mark?

What's wrong?

I went back to Pentridge because of Sid Collins.

I spent the four years.

Of my life. No.

This has got to stop.

Listen to me.

This is your chance.

Hey.

There are two of you.

There are two of you.

You know that.

There's Mark.

this beautiful mark right here now and then there's chopper

you don't say goodbye to chopper you'll end up dead

just be mark

me when that been

Put it round, you dickhead!

Now, you fucking club!

Chop a reed.

How you doing, Dad?

Oh, I'm good now.

Me cast a head to cast a home, Ray.

What the hell does that mean?

It means make yourself at home, man.

Margaret, good to see you again. Welcome, welcome.

Please. Come on in.

Nice to have your fella free, eh?

Yeah.

I'll get these. Dad, you get this one, mate.

Here, take that.

I heard you had some trouble in Melbourne.

You can stay here as long as you like, mate.

I've got some good ones.

What are you doing, Dad?

We'll hide some of these around the house.

You know, Sid Collins, Gadgetano, these maggots won't stop.

You've got to go back at them.

First chance. Dad, no, no.

I made a promise to Margaret. I got word to the Melbourne boys I'm not going

back at them.

What, you're going to hide?

I'm not hiding. I'm just, you know, not looking for trouble.

I'm going to perish the thought, go straight, Dad.

Chopper, that'll never work. Sit down, sit down. I've written a book.

What? Have you ever even read a book? Look.

Chopper, from the inside.

If I really want to stay out, and I do, this is the way. I tell my story and I

don't look back.

How could you write a book?

You can't even spell.

You even spelt my name wrong in your tat.

I wrote letters, you know. I've been writing them for years.

I sent them to a journo. He and a mate corrected them, put them together, and

they're going to self -publish them.

Who'd want to read a fucking book by you?

Some might, you know.

It'll piss everybody off. I mean, you'd like that even more than if I got back

in the game.

Why? Well, some of those weak -guarded mice will be angry because they're in

Others, because they're not.

A book.

This is not the chopper read I know.

Well, I've got to do something else, Dad. I'm getting old.

You're not old. Well, I can't keep standing over people.

I can't do it. I can't fucking do it.

Sorry.

I mean, to put those away might have been ballistic.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What does your dad want?

Oh, nothing.

Oh, he's, uh, yeah, he's, uh, disappointed in me, I think.

Why? Well, he always taught me to never back out of a fight, always get even.

I mean, I couldn't argue with that turd using my head as a footy. I mean, Dad

had named me after a bloody TV cartoon.

I didn't have a chance.

Sorry, son.

It's for your own good.

You can't back down to them.

I didn't cry out in pain.

Never.

Dad used to give me those beatings to toughen me up for all the fights I was

going to have.

I used to get my hand like this and put a naked flame under it.

Never cry out, never show pain.

After a while, I didn't feel any pain.

I liked it.

I got off on it. I kind of enjoyed it.

You're okay, ain't you? You okay?

Go to you.

Oh, hang on.

Oh, what's that? It's a... Oh, you want one?

Yeah, you know the deal, though.

Come on, put it down.

Eh? Yeah, good for something, eh? My turn, my turn.

Oh! Oh!

Couple of rocket scientists, that.

I understand.

You've got to get even now with that kid to beat you up, or it'll never stop.

You never back down.

That's our legend to make.

Did I ever tell you about your granddaddy in Gallipoli?

Oh, mate, this is a ripper. This is a great one, mate.

Hey, you.

That's him.

They called him the Bull.

And there was this pasty prick of a British colonel. He was screaming orders

your granddad. He was telling all those blokes to get out of the trench, go up

over the top. But that was bloody suicide.

So I know what your granddad did.

Boom, right there. Boom, boom, boom. Killed him.

He saved every man in his regiment that day.

He was a legend.

Like you're going to be, eh?

Yeah. Come on, hurry up. Finish your egg.

Teas are way off yet.

My father, he taught me two things.

Always get even.

And why tell the truth when the story's better.

I want you to always tell me the truth.

I... And I will, buddy.

Give me that book.

No more!

He calls me the fairy godfather.

Melbourne's princess of crime.

He doesn't even mention me.

Look, it's not even glued right.

None of this is even true.

You know, some dickheads are thinking about making a movie about it. You're

kidding. Jump on me.

Give me that book.

Give me that fucking book. Give me that.

We're going to do something about this, Lewis. Fucking bullshit.

No more book.

Entire first print.

That's 3 ,000 copies sold.

No. Except for the one that got shoplifted.

A printing, a double for the next one.

Dad, we're going to be rich.

From a bloody book. Can you believe it?

It's going to be raining bloody cash!

That was true.

We had another printing in March, then April, May.

We couldn't print them fast enough. They're jumping off the shelves. You

lining up.

I mean, you couldn't steal one, right? You couldn't get one off your

grandmother. And then, of course, I screwed things up, right? It was just

straight life is so boring, right?

You like the car, Trent?

She's a beaut.

Well, it's registered in your name.

Why? Got no licence. You got a licence?

Well, a gun licence.

No.

Drivers.

I need you for a gun licence. This is Tasmania.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I know how to drive real good. Good. And, Trent, do not tell

Margaret about any of these. Yeah?

Good man.

Now, I need you to drive me around 24 -7, OK?

Watch me back.

Drag me home if I get too pissed.

Be sort of like a Boy Friday.

Oh, Boy Friday?

I'm not going to do no gay shit or nothing. No, no.

It's a gopher, right? A shotgun man.

Fuck. You're as dumb as a flake of wood, aren't you?

Here you go.

Come on, let's go blow some cash.

Let's go.

Lovely. This is a sawn -off 22.

See? Have a feel. Have a feel.

Yeah.

You a good shot, are you?

I'm a very, very good shot.

Yeah, would you like me to show you?

Trent, get over there. Grab that bottle.

Come on.

Today, Trent. Today. Quick, smart. Come on.

Get a bit of gusto about you. Let's go.

Hold it up.

Yeah, all right. Have a drink. All right. Quickly, quickly. Hold it up.

Show you.

I don't think you should.

You got a couple of bloody girlfriends there, you know? Yeah, they're pretty.

Yeah, weren't they, eh?

What's he doing here?

You know I'm chocolate.

You're the character.

I just thought I heard a wombat.

What?

Don't be silly. Come back inside.

Yeah, yeah.

meet you at the checkout.

Yes, yes, baby. I'll do that with a great gusto.

Hey, can I show you something?

Sign it for me.

Make it out to Fanny.

It's a fanny.

Mum was a Barbra Streisand nut.

And named you Fanny.

That must have gone down well in high school, so to speak.

So to speak.

Hey, do something criminal.

Criminal? Make something formal.

It can't be shoplifting. It was hardly a shoplifting, Bubby. I was just... Oh,

yeah, I know what you were doing. You were acting like Chopper. Like a

Mr. Reeves. Give it to me. Chopper.

Now,

this might look exciting, right? And glamorous.

And I've got to admit, at first I liked it, right?

But after a while, I reckoned there should be a law that every one in ten

autographed turd can be killed and no questions asked. Bang, bang, bang.

Just bloody shoot them. Hey!

But now that Sid knew I was in Tassie, you know, and blokes knew that I knew, I

mean, I had to be on guard, right? I mean, people started searching me out,

right? And I never knew who was on the level.

I mean, call me crazy, you know, and many people have.

I wonder why.

I wonder what.

It wasn't my fault.

Oh, yeah, he hit you for no reason. No, I hit him first.

You promised me, Mark. For fuck's sake, Bubby. You know, if every now and then I

put my foot on the neck of some smart -ass, that's not returning to crime.

I'm trying, right?

But these pricks, they keep asking me to do shit I don't want to do.

Well, just tell them no. I do.

But they keep asking and banging on. And this one turd called me a pussy, so I

bashed him.

That was hardly a bashing. You know, it was just a little touch -up. A minor

touch -up at that.

Hold still.

You sure about this?

Well, uh, we're going to do something, Dad, you know?

Michael's going to hit Mike up for garnish.

And these unfavorite types are trying to drag my boy back into their criminal

enterprise.

focused mainly on doing harm to one Sidney Michael Collins.

Now, my son Chopper is famous.

A living legend because of his book.

And he has a reputation.

He's trying to get out from under.

So we thought it best that you met him, had a yarn, get to know him as a regular

bloke and to see he's not up for any trouble.

Chopper, Constable Jassic.

G'day. And smiley.

Oh, come on, smiley. I won't bite you.

There you go.

I've just got to say, I loved your book. Did you? Yeah.

I thought it was shit.

No, it's okay.

Everyone's a critic, you know.

What didn't you like about it, mate?

I thought you made most of it up, you know, just big noting yourself.

Yeah?

Look at you.

I mean, you can punch the front teeth out of a chicken.

Hey, hey, come on.

We're just messing, you know.

It's chopper.

Chopper.

This is actually quite embarrassing.

Do you mind just signing the book?

Yeah, no worries.

You were this morning.

Thank you. Kindly.

To, uh... Mel.

Mel.

Never plead guilty.

There you go.

Thank you. Well, all good then.

Toodlepip.

Hey, Chappie and Chappette.

See you around.

See ya.

Hey,

your name's Chopper.

I suppose that's some smart arse's idea of being ironic.

Say you greet a neighbour.

Or are you just living up to your name?

You know who I am?

Of course I know who you are.

Stop fucking around.

Me and my Nicole, we want to invite you to our wedding.

Your wedding?

We'd bring you an invite.

What with you being a celebrity and all, and you in town, but this is kind of

last minute.

Well, I wouldn't want to go to your fucking wedding.

Your funeral, maybe.

Chopper, just say you'll think about it. I don't have to think about it.

Piss off. Oh, don't be like that.

All the boys will be there.

It's on the 18th.

I guess I'll see you there.

Oh, there's just one catch.

Well, it's not really a catch.

It's kind of a request.

Not really a request, actually.

I'm afraid you've got to do it.

You know how expensive weddings are these days?

There's the booze, the food, the hall.

Even got to pay for the bloody celebrant.

So, since it's kind of dear, Nicole and I are asking everyone to bring eight

grand to help pay for the wedding.

Eight thousand? Yeah.

Just helping out, you know.

Bikey tradition.

I'm not a fucking bikey.

I'll come by next week to collect.

There is no way I'm going to a wedding, you know, and pay $8 ,000 for the

pleasure he can go fuck himself. You go on like this and you're going to end up

doing something stupid.

I don't exactly know what I'm going to do. I'm going to jam this up his bloody

bum hole and pull the trigger until I lose count.

Yeah, and you'll end up back inside.

Are you telling me to back down, Dad? Are you? You're losing your fucking

marbles, mate. No. I'm saying think first and don't go off on cops. That was

order, Dad. If I don't show up, if I don't pay him $8 ,000, he's going to

after me. Bobby, relax, will you? Stop kicking the door.

Don't break it down. I'm not going to let that be my call of shots. Look, I

understand, but you can't just rush in. You've got to sit down and think about

what to do next.

What are you two up to?

Uh, nothing.

Bang,

you're dead.

You know it's not safe to point a fake gun at somebody you don't know. Bang!

Just saying, kid.

Bang! You cheeky young bugger. Piss off.

Well,

we were going to play pin the tail on the donkey.

And now you're here, we can play pin the ears on Chopper.

Or are you stupid enough to cause some trouble here?

This?

It's just a present, you know, for your wedding.

It's a beauty.

Me dad got it in Borneo. Yeah, I don't need a fucking walking stick.

That's all you're going to get, you know.

As blissful and happy occasion as I'm sure it's going to be.

I'm not going to your fucking wedding.

Come on, Sid, I'm asking you to be reasonable.

Reasonable?

I've got to admit, that's not a word I thought I'd hear come out of Chopper

Reed's mouth.

The old days are done. I don't want to fight.

Then give me eight grand and come to my wedding.

I'm not giving you any money.

Well, then I'm afraid we're going to have a fucking problem.

A problem?

Well, how's this for a problem? You maggot!

We clear on that?

Do you want me to shoot you?

Billy, let's go.

Get us a beer, will you? I've got a strain of potatoes.

Two of the usual, Tim?

Yeah, sure.

We don't fit in there.

I won't be long.

I've got a proposition for you. A proposition?

No, thanks.

You're cute.

But I'm a horse's hook.

A pull.

Is that a joke? Yeah.

I heard you were funny.

See, it's not going to let this go.

You know that, right?

It's either you or him.

So I was thinking...

It's as my head's up like thirsty. What is it with you people?

Me?

I'll pay you 20 grand.

Just make Sid disappear.

No one likes him.

There'll be no blowback.

You've got my word.

Oh, that is very reassuring.

If you're interested, meet me here tomorrow at six o 'clock.

What's the taste?

I'll be back here tomorrow. Ten grand.

Ten on delivery.

I've visited you in Pintridge all those times.

I stood beside you when you went to Jika Jika. When you got out this time, you

promised me, Mark, you were walking away from it. And I have.

Yeah?

Where'd you get this?

I didn't get it. Somebody left it on the bar.

You should have, too.

We could use the money.

Yeah. I never realised living on a budget was so hard. Oh, yeah, that's

you spend everything as soon as you cash those book checks.

Oh, and tedious, too. I mean, you've got the cooking and cleaning... Don't joke.

Let's go on and on. It's not a joke.

Bobby.

I'm not doing anything, OK?

I'm not doing anything.

I think we should leave, Tassie.

Go up the Gold Coast.

I can't. I can't. The bloody Gold Coast.

I'll straighten this out, okay? I'll sort it out. I'll sort it out.

If you go back in, we're done.

You understand that, right?

We're done. Yeah, I heard you.

Do you know where you are?

Do you know how you got here?

Yeah. Do you feel up to answering a few questions about that?

We had an argument.

Chopper went ballistic.

Chopper shot me.

Mr Reid, I'm Detective Steve Hendry. Detective Robin Mutt.

We have a warrant to search this residence.

Well, knock yourselves out.

Mr Reid, we interviewed Sid Collins last night at Launceston Hospital.

He was shot. Wait a second.

Are you saying Sid Collins has been shot?

You didn't know?

No. I mean, somebody called me from the pub and they said it was just a burst

appendix or something.

No, he's been shot.

At first he said it was an accident, that he shot himself, then he changed

story.

Well, that is ridiculous.

I mean, look, this Sid Collins, he's hated me for years, you know. He's hired

blokes to kill me.

So why are you making shit up about Sid Collins? Oh, making it up, I might.

He says you are.

Well, you can believe that'll bash it up your ass, lovey.

That's how I remember it.

You don't get it, do you?

There was always a Sid Collins.

What do you mean?

Oh, some wannabe crim or a... A maggot had betrayed me or tried to kill me, so

had to get even.

Even me father.

Always pushing me to do shit.

What, you never did anything on your own?

Just because you felt like it?

There might have been a couple of things, yeah.

But none of them were your fault, right? That's right.

Sid Collins' fault.

You know what I reckon?

I reckon this is just another one of your made -up stories.

Like the ones you wrote in your book. You can reckon of what you want, lovey.

It's a free country, you know. So it's your contention that Sid Collins is

setting you up now by saying you should... Correct, detective.

Correct. I'm sure a lot of people wanted to teach that maggot some manners. Is

that right?

You don't get shot for no reason, okay? If you get shot, you probably bloody

well deserve it. Did you shoot Sidney Collins? No, no. He's made his one

statement. Well, he's probably fallen off his Harley too many times. I don't

know what he's saying. Where were you yesterday at 12 o 'clock?

I was with Mr Collins having a few beers at the Clarendon Arms Hotel.

He must have told you that. And we left around 2 .30. And went where?

Here. Chopping wood, like today.

How long?

Oh, pretty much, uh, it was all over.

That's an awful lot of wood.

It's as he gets cold, you know. You need a good pile.

I want some. I'll sell it to you.

Maybe some sort of trade in kind.

Do you have a witness to back up you being here? Not a visual one, no, but

probably an ear witness, even though I don't have ears.

What does that mean?

My father.

He must have heard me chopping.

It's bloody hard work.

Are there any other witnesses that could attest to your whereabouts? Sorry.

If I knew that dog was going to make up stories about me, I would have arranged

a couple.

And when was the last time you saw Mr Collins? I already told you. Around 2

as we was leaving the pub. That's not what he's saying. I don't give a flying

fuck what he's saying. You know, I've been trying to turn my life around ever

since I left Pentrec.

But no matter how much I try, people are always dragging me back in. Who is?

You, Sid Collins.

Every time some old granny gets a purse grabbed, you come running to me. I had

nothing to do with Sid Collins getting shot.

Well, would you care to hear what Mr Collins has to say about it? No.

But you're going to tell me anyway, aren't you?

Chopper went ballistic.

Then Mr Collins says he got a call from you later.

Says it was night and day. You were friendly and thought it over and decided

attend his wedding after all.

And you arranged to meet for beers at a Clarendon Arms. After the beers, you

agreed to drive Mr Collins home.

Now, Chopper, how about that money for my wedding, huh?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

Here you go.

What do you think I am, you know? Some pansy parrot? Do whatever you say?

Give me a grand, Chopper.

Yeah, no worries, Sid, my pleasure.

What do you want it?

Come on, Chopper. Head, stomach, head, stomach. You don't want to do this,

I don't know. I think I fucking do.

Head or stomach? Chopper! Stomach!

Why the fuck did you do that?

I told you I didn't want to go to a bloody wedding and you wouldn't listen.

Jesus Christ!

Does it hurt? Yes, it fucking hurts, dickhead!

Wait, tween, tween.

Be careful or you're going to get blood on my seat.

Oh, what are you going to do now?

Shit, well, I don't know. I mean, you laid it out pretty clear, you know. They

will find out about this unless they don't find you. Stop the car. Let's get

them out. Keep driving.

Stop the car. Keep driving, mate. If I get out now, he'll kill me. I'll just

kill you here.

Mate, I don't think you should do this. Stop the car, Trent. Keep driving, OK?

All right, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry I pushed you too far.

Shit, shit, shit!

I won't tell anyone, OK?

It's too late. I swear to God, I swear to God, bike is closed.

Go, Trent, go!

Drive the car!

Where is your car, Mr Reid? It's in the shop.

Oh, is it? Well, it's overheating the buggery. The Welsh plug is blown.

But before you go check, there's one big flaw with Sid's story. Yeah, what's

that? Why is he alive?

If I had said like that, would I have let him live?

What's going on, Mark?

Oh, it's just a little social call. Right, detectives? What the hell are you

doing? I mean, can't you ever leave him alone?

He's trying. He's trying to stay clean and you won't let him.

Bubby. What are they doing here?

What are they looking for?

Something they'll never find.

It's the same old, same old. Any unsolved crime, go see Chopper.

Maybe go inside and make sure Dad doesn't do something stupid.

It's okay, Bubby.

It's nothing to worry about.

Talk to him tonight.

This is our property.

Yeah.

Mr Collins has an answer for why you let him live.

Does he?

Mr Collins asserts that you did, in fact, drive him to hospital.

You'll be all right, mate. There you go.

That's bullshit.

You should win a Logie for that story.

Anybody see me drop him off?

We have witnesses that saw a car resembling yours near the hospital.

A lot of Fords out there, mate. What does Trent say about this fairy tale?

We haven't spoken with Mr Anthony yet.

Well, when you do, he'll back up what I'm saying, because it's true. I didn't

drop Sid off. You know, that dog has decided to dog me in for something I

do, and you wombats are buying it.

You know what I'm not buying?

That you'd go straight.

You never have before, why now?

I'm 37 years old.

Keep crossing a busy road, back and forth, back and forth.

In the end, I'll get bowled over.

If I'll keep living as I did, I will end up murdered.

So I quit.

Well, I guess we'll see how it all washes out.

Your story versus Mr.

Collins'. We're done here.

But I honestly thought they'd believe me over Sid Collins. I mean, he was lying.

But what do I do? I mean, because of me book, I was a celebrity.

And some people loved me.

Oh, they loved me.

A long time.

And some people hated me. Oh, they loathed me. Hated me.

But everybody was jealous I was making a lot of money.

You know, if I'd got out of Pentridge and earned a living washing cars, you

know, they'd have called it a rehabilitation.

And said how wonderful it was.

You know, the press wanted me for ratings and a soundbite. You know, Mr.

quote. And the cops, well, they wanted to put me in jail.

You know, no matter how.

I mean, you kill one man and you're a murderer.

You kill 10 ,000 and you're a bloody politician.

But back then, I just wanted to be somebody.

That's all I wanted.

Just to be remembered.

But now, this is all I want.

It's true.

To tell me stories and have people believe me when I say I've changed.

But no matter what I said back in 92 about not shooting, said Collins, the

bloody Jacks wouldn't believe me.

No, they wouldn't believe me.

Mr. Reid.

Oh, gentlemen.

What's this, a tax audit?

We have a warrant to arrest you.

You got the wrong man, I didn't do it. For the shooting of Sidney Michael

Collins. I told you, you peanut, I didn't do it.

I have to caution you that you're not obliged to say or do anything, but

anything you say or do may be recorded and given in evidence. Do you understand

those rights?

They can't, you know.

The trial.

Fuck.

Tomorrow. Everyone wants to be remembered.

Nobody wants to die first.

The epic conclusion to Underbelly's greatest tale.

You're a good man, Mark.

True love?

I do.

No! No!

God! Bloodthirsty revenge.

Only forget about an enemy when he's dead.

And the women who tamed Australia's most notorious man.

Chopper concludes tomorrow at nine on nine.