Original subtitles

Hey, here's one of you and me.

Can you bring it a bit closer? I can't quite see.

No. There?

Ah, yeah, I remember that. That's a beauty.

That was your very first victory breakfast.

Biggest swing to a first -time opposition candidate in a non -safe seat

first world federal election anywhere in the world, ever. Well, no wonder we

look so smug.

Well, that was my proudest achievement as a campaign manager. Do you remember

what I said to you just after that was taken? Probably something about me

picking up the bill?

I said, Andrew, you might just be a humble backbencher at this stage, but

four years you're going to be in the lodge and I'm coming with you every step

the goddamn way. You see, that's interesting, because my memory was you

drunk to form a coherent sentence.

You should put that in the book. In fact, that'd be a good caption for that

picture. Put it in the book.

Ellen wants me to find something that'll unlock some genuine emotional moments

for the last chapter. Says I'm still coming off stiff and guarded.

Yeah, well, if proof can get 11 volumes out of a cup of tea and a Tim Tam,

you'll piss it in with a box of Polaroids, Andrew.

Has he teared up yet, Henry?

He did get a little misty, Alan, at the lovely picture of Bob Hawke being hit in

the face with a cricket ball. What can I say? I'm not an emotional person.

I think the last time I cried I was eight years old when a horse trotted my

foot. The picture should be here somewhere.

Look what I found.

A wedding album.

Well, the smell of camphor might just do it.

Anniversary next week.

I know.

35 years.

35 years.

Is in your eyes a look

Your smile can't describe

The look of

love It's saying so much more than just

words

What?

Nothing. Nothing, no, nothing.

Would you like to have a hit later on?

Oh, I just booked a session with Harvey. I'm so sorry, darling.

No, no, no, that's all right. No, no, no, just wondering.

What about this one of you holding Carol?

No, nothing.

Wow. If a baby picture can't crack it, we might be in some trouble. No, no, no,

it's not a baby photo. That's from the night of her 16th birthday when she got

stoned and fell in the pool.

This one of your mother.

That's a good one.

She's dead.

You know, I don't understand this need for emotional vulnerability.

I read Lazarus Rising. The only thing I learned was how tedious the book could

be and still sell 100 ,000 copies.

Yeah, well, Andrew Dugdale.

It's no John Howard.

That's a good tagline. We should put it on the cover next to the Remainded

sticker. We wouldn't need insight into how you tick if we could end on some

fireworks. If something exciting was happening in your autumn years instead

good health and contentment.

Oh, I'm very sorry. I'm sorry. Maybe I should go to a Memphis hotel and lose my

trousers or have a fling with Wendy Dang.

Andrew Peacock took Shelley McLean UFO spotting once.

Really? On a Mexican volcano.

That's not a bad idea. I'm game.

Henry, could you give Andrew Peacock a ring and see if he'll go on a date with

me?

Henry?

Henry?

Oh, it's probably nothing. He's gone to the toilet or making a cup of tea. Both,

probably. Still no answer. You should probably drop by.

Yeah. Rita, could you ask Curtis to get out of the car? I don't think he's in

it, Mr. Rondrell.

It's bin day today. I'll pipe my hair then.

Here's a good photo for the cover.

I'll grab Curtis.

Why are you always worried about looking like you care about somebody? You're as

bad as she is. I have no problem expressing my feelings or showing people

care. Show Papa what you made for his and Gaga's anniversary.

He just says it looks like a chagall. Yeah, yeah, not now, boy. I've got

of my plate as it is at the moment. Andrew.

Oh, right. Carol, Carol, I'm sorry, sorry. Look, see Sonny and make an

appointment. Oh.

Well, chagall.

I mean, you validate these kids too much and they grow up very needy.

His car's not here.

Maybe you went down to the shops.

He's on home detention, Curtis. His ankle monitor goes off if he goes

the gate.

Well, these aren't his. They're obviously way too small.

See, we're worrying unnecessarily.

Women's underwear on the footpath. We've got a recycle bin full of empty

champagne bottles, which I probably paid for, and the women too, no doubt.

He's absolutely fine.

Bloody hell.

He's been ransacked.

I'll pull the fillet. No, no, no, no. Ever since Cindy left him, the place

always looks like this.

Henry!

Where are you, you old bugger?

Oh.

Ah, Mr. Dugdale.

Fingerprints. Yes.

Yes, you're right, Curtis. Ellen, I think you'd better ring the police.

Two people?

Yes.

Neither of them Henry.

Hi! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right, right.

No, no, I'm in, I'm in. No, no.

No, he's still up there.

The five iron.

It's a five iron.

Put those away.

They're evidence.

Put them away.

And if you hear anything from Mr Coates, please be sure and let us know.

Absolutely. That goes for you too, Mr Dugdale.

Aiding and abetting a fugitive is an offence, even for an ex -Prime Minister.

Oh, sure. Yeah, absolutely.

I'm just as keen to get a hold of him as you are.

Are you sure you can't just track the ankle monitor?

The signal went dead about the same time you noticed he went missing. You don't

think that he's...

You don't suspect anything, do you? It's too early to start getting worried.

Or rule anything out.

If you'll excuse us, please.

Yeah, sure. Ma 'am.

Officer, are you sure you don't want these pantyhose?

Positive, sir.

Thank you.

But, no, Curtis, they know what they're doing, all right? Now go and clean the

egg off your windscreen.

My friend, too, you know.

I think friend might be overstating it a bit.

You're really worried about him as well, aren't you?

No, no.

Henry survived two wives, three heart attacks and an ATO probe the size of the

Rialto Tower.

I'm more worried about my money.

That's not our car, Curtis.

I'm not again.

Rightio. Well, get off the top of it. You'll dent it.

Henry Coates was one of the small fry caught up when Wickenby pulled its nets

in.

Offshore money laundering in the Channel Islands.

Over a million bucks in tax fraud that we know of.

Two years home detention.

Glenn Wheatley got three and had to spend half of that at Beechworth.

Meaning? Glenn Wheatley only had John Farnham as a client.

We're just saying, some people don't have as much pull in the federal court

others, that's all.

I didn't vote for Doug Dale, but I don't reckon he knew or did anything.

Two of the hallmarks of his administration, according to the late Mr

God rest his soul.

Isn't that Henry's A5, Mr Dugdale, sir?

There you go. I told you there was nothing to worry about. Want me to ring

police and let them know?

No, no, no. It might be better for Henry to do that himself.

Actually, let me find out what's going on first.

What are you doing?

After I finish kicking up the bum for worrying a sick, I'm going to give the

bugger a great big hug from me.

Go and hose the albumen off the duke. Rightio.

Henry, what the hell have you got yourself into this time?

What's going on?

Welcome home, Mr. Duckdale.

I was just discussing with your family how to best get out your friend from

he's got into.

Is everyone all right?

He punched Harvey in the face.

Twice. Well, is everyone all right apart from that?

Sergei gets carried away. He thought that this man was you.

Me? Well, he looks nothing like me. We found him lying in bed next to your

You can see how a mistake like that can happen.

Sonny warned me about you two, but I was too stupid to believe him, wasn't I,

Sonny? You don't know the half of it. It's not true, Mr. Duckdale, I swear it.

I want no more unnecessary violence.

No, no, let's just confine it to the tennis instructor.

Your friend Henry is a very unlucky man.

Underrated, the football games, oil explorations in Belarus.

He owes us much money.

He said we should talk to you.

Me?

Once the most important man in the country, he will know what to do, is

said. I swear to you, I was limbering up, using the bed frame to stretch out

iliopsis.

I know this man was never prime minister straight away.

He cried like a little girl.

Well, yes, yes, my own crying tends to have a deeper, more masculine edge to

Sorry, I tend to ramble a little bit when I'm in fear of my life.

Why has he got, um, Sonny, why has he got Ellen's laptop?

The chief of staff has been very helpful. He has given me all your online

banking passwords.

Has he? Has he? What are you so worried about?

It's not like they can transfer your triple overdraft to Cyprus.

Regrettably, this is true, Mr. Duckdale. You have no money.

But I find this very difficult to understand for an ex -world leader.

Well, you know, world leader?

Prime Ministers from Australia aren't really world leaders.

I mean, yes, we get invited to the NATO conferences, but they tend to put us off

in the corner on a wobbly table with some butcher's paper and some crayons.

Andrew, could you deal with this, please?

We are hostages here, darling. We are not hosting a fucking dinner party!

I'm sorry, darling, I didn't quite hear that because there's a gun barrel in my

ear! The adulteress is right.

You find money, you get friend back and we will go.

Where is Henry?

They've been friends a long time, haven't they?

Forty years, man and beast.

Longer than his marriage to Mrs. Dugdale.

In fact, I was there the day that Mr. Dugdale very generously bought this for

him.

Wow, that is generous.

An anniversary present for winning pre -selection his first year in politics.

You see, that's exactly what I need for the book, some kind of insight into... I

think it needs a service.

Hello?

Henry? Is that you?

Ellen? Yes, Henry?

Don't worry, we'll get you out of there. God bless you, Ellen, you sweet girl. I

can't see a thing in here. They've put a bag over my head. I'm here too, Henry,

me old friend.

Ah,

it's good to hear your voice.

Who's that?

Curtis.

Mr. Dugdale's com -car driver.

Oh, right, yeah.

Hi, Curtis.

We don't have a key. Can you get to the lock mechanism on your side?

No, they've ziplocked my hands behind my back.

Miles has got some house -breaking equipment in his office around the back.

Maybe we can break in, retrieve the equipment and use it to break in.

What?

Yeah, I've got bolt cutters, axles, C4, skeleton keys.

Even got a crossbow that feeds out a high tensile wire to slide down.

What's up? Where have you been?

Went to get a sloppy.

Popped into the paintball place for a quick skirmish.

There's a man locked in the boot!

402, huh?

Follow me.

But who locked him in the boot?

So, how much money are we talking about here?

Your friend, as they say, was a very unlucky man.

How very unlucky?

Five, ten?

Twenty -five.

Black dentist.

Fears and charges.

Now closer to 125.

I have $125 of birthday money, Papa.

Do you have it with you?

No, no, no, boy, he means $125 ,000.

You do mean that, don't you? You don't mean $125.

You are a very generous little boy, aren't you?

Let's hope you grow up to be a generous man, huh?

You get away from him.

I just meant that I hoped that he would remain a nice boy as he grows.

Is that any way to talk in front of a child, you fucking arsehole?

It was not a threat. I meant it sincerely.

As people grow up, they become more selfish.

I'm a businessman, not a monster.

Your friend used your money in investment.

He didn't pay off.

He borrowed from us to make up the loss.

It did not work out.

I'm just here to reclaim my money. That's all. I'm not here to hurt anyone.

You punched Javier in the face.

Three times.

Except for him, obviously.

Okay. It's behind the exception that proves the rule.

Who the hell are

these guys?

And why has that one got my laptop?

Listen, $125 ,000 is a lot of money.

We're not going to be able to scrape it together from what we find down the back

of the couches.

You see, that's the trouble with this country. You think that you can live off

credit, never have to repay it, and there will never be any consequences.

Hey, I'll have you know that when I left office, we had the smallest deficit

adjusted for population and GDP that this country has ever seen. In fact,

Ramsey described me as the most fiscally conservative prime minister since Sir

Stanley Bruce.

Andrew, you're not on AM.

All right, you're not talking to Michael Brissenden.

I don't know. Michael Brissenden, he gets a B in his bonnet. He's pretty

Oh, you try to be like America too much.

They owe trillions to China.

China doesn't call on its debt because they want the U .S. to have the money to

buy their products.

Everybody in bed with each other.

No, it's not true, Mr. Doctor. Don't listen to him.

In Russia.

If Ukraine doesn't pay its gas bill, we'll pay them a little visit.

Did he just hit that tennis instructor across the face?

Well, block it from this angle.

Do you want me to reply?

No, it's not true, Mr. Dante. Don't listen to him.

Yeah, but if Ukraine doesn't pay its gas bill, you don't go and invade Hawaii to

get your money back, do you?

You want to be like America?

America pays bailout to Ukraine to pay our bill.

Same thing. You aren't business with Henry Coote.

He invests your money for a fee, you take profits, yes?

Yes, that's true. He makes lots instead, you take lots instead.

Yeah, but this place is triple mortgaged. And anything of value here is

credit or leased back through a charitable trust. You do that drawdown

something. Please, don't make me conform to stereotype of Russian mafia.

Yeah, well, let me tell you something.

The Dugdales do not negotiate with terrorists.

Take him outside.

Explain theorems and conditions.

Well, let's not be too rash.

Oh, him.

Yeah.

I think it's getting serious in there, Miles.

They're on their way ten minutes, they reckon.

I don't reckon Harvey has got ten minutes. Observe and report. That's all

do, Alan.

Unless the first family themselves are compromised.

That tennis instructor's been compromising Mrs Dugdale for a couple of

now.

I think I preferred it when you could actually see him here in the room being

punched. I know I did.

Even if we could hear him shrieking, that would be better. I quite agree that

must be strong.

Sorry, boss.

What did you do to him, you inhuman monster?

Nothing. Sit him down in chair.

He fainted.

For God's sake, Mum, just give him the details of your secret account.

Carol!

It's now on the ECRA account, sir.

Hang on, hang on. What ECRA account, sir?

Mum's been stashing money away for ages now, just in case.

Just in case what?

In case she worked up enough guts to finally leave you.

Catherine, is this true?

Well, either I didn't have the guts to leave you or I didn't want to leave you.

But either way, I stuck with you, didn't I?

No, no, no, about the account. Because this could solve everything, am I right?

Depends how much she has secreted.

What? You are a disgusting pig.

No,

Rita, you will catch your bus home tonight.

I've got no idea. How much money have you got?

I thought Dugdale's didn't negotiate with terrorists. This isn't so much a

negotiation as a capitulation, so how much?

Half a mil?

Honey, I could kiss you.

You couldn't punch him in the face, could you? Not necessary now. We do some

online banking and then we're finished.

Well, I have to get my pin number from my purse up in my room.

Look after her, Sergei.

Make sure she doesn't try anything funny.

Okay. Come with me.

Okay, they're taking Catherine away now. What do we do?

Containment.

And when necessary, termination of threat with extreme prejudice.

Stay behind me at all times, okay? Now is not the time to play movie hero. This

isn't White House Down.

That's right.

None of us are rabbits or have ESP.

I think he's thinking of Watership Down.

It's like a siren and a flashing light mean nothing anymore.

Back up. Back up.

What are these guys doing?

They have faster dial -up in mountains of Estonia. Bloody NBN rollout, I told

them. Your book on this?

My memoirs, yes, yes, they are.

Why? I see on desktop, I have a quick skim.

What do you think?

Needs a stronger third act.

Interesting, interesting.

So what's the difference between White House town and Olympus has fallen?

In White House town, it's the Secretary of State that takes over the White

House. And, uh, in Olympus has fallen. It's the North Koreans.

Oh, my God. They've killed the tennis instructor.

Come on.

Come on.

When are you going to let us go? My son needs to go to the toilet.

Don't anymore, Mom. We go when transfer of funds is complete.

Assuming we have first not all data voltage.

You know, if they'd voted me back in, we would have had all optical fibres, no

nodes. 30 Mbps, just like the US.

No doubt perfect for data mining.

No, no, no, we never did data mining.

Tell that to East Timor.

Well, we, at the Hague, we... Come on.

This yours?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's ours.

You own, not least, back from charitable trust.

No, no, we own that. It's probably the only thing in the place we do own.

It's more Chagall, yes.

Yes,

yes, you have a very good eye. Yes, that's very valuable.

It's original.

Yes, yes.

And very early work, obviously, but still quite priceless.

Beautiful.

We estimate value of Chagall

approximately money UOS.

We propose we take painting in lieu of paralyzed snail internet transfer of

funds. Oh, what?

Oh, well, okay.

Assuming it's all right with my wife.

It does have great sentimental value.

I wouldn't push it. Why, Gaga, will Papa give him a present to the man?

Gaga and Papa love your present, sweetie.

We'll talk about it later.

Present? Yeah, present. Yeah, yeah, it's our wedding anniversary, and God bless

him. Little boy went all the way down to the auction house to pick it out

himself.

You must love your grandparents very much.

Yes?

Yes,

he does.

You know, it just occurred to me, I think, thinking about it, I think my

right. This has great sentimental value. I think you'd better take the money.

What?

I think they'd better take the money. I think they'd better take that money

because you look at the picture there, that couple flying over the rooftops

there, that's us, isn't it? That picture is a perfect representation of our

marriage. It's frightening at times, yet we're able to rise above it, but the

journey's not over yet, is it?

I guess not.

Well, if you should.

Yeah, I don't see we have a choice. We wouldn't give this picture up for the

world.

We go.

When transfer is complete, we telephone where to find your friend. Sure, that's

great, but my book is on there. If you leave the laptop here, we promise we

won't cancel a transfer. What are we doing?

No, not at all.

I take with me.

Fingerprints on keyboard, not so good for me, I think. No, no, we...

You're worried about noise. We just pulled up with the siren on.

Well, don't just stand there, Sonny. Get them a ladder.

Sonny will get you a ladder.

What was that for?

No, for proving me wrong.

Oh.

And that is for proving that I made the right decision 35 years ago.

Wi -Fi coverage for your property is excellent.

Transfer complete.

You can have book back. Oh, good. Drop it, Boris.

Don't tell him to drop it. He's holding my laptop.

Don't slap a man when he's holding a gun, Ellen. It's dangerous.

Shoot her at three o 'clock.

Drop it, mate.

No, no, no. I'm one of you.

Ivan, the book.

Drop the weapon.

Don't forget, you need a more dramatic ending. Drop it, mate. No, no, no. You

said it's containment until you arrive.

I was just like...

You do back up your work, don't you? I do, yes.

Good news is I did it just after our last session.

The bad news is I left the USB in the laptop.

To fresh beginnings, a future filled with

hope and the realisation late in life that no man is a failure who has

L 'chaim.

L 'chaim.

Who would like to make a toast? Oh, God.

So I call on you to charge your glasses as we drink to one of the finest men who

ever lived, Andy Dugdale.

So really not necessary, Curtis.

More wine!

More wine!

No, no, no, there's no more wine, all right? One bottle doesn't last too long

with eight people.

Then get some more from the cellar, you scabby old bastard.

He's only kidding.

You know...

for your dougie old fish.

Thank you.

Maybe one more bottle, darling, just for Curtis.

What about that 59 grains that Barry O 'Farrell sent you? Well, sure, about

I got rid of the evidence.

Apricot. Come on, Sonny, you're better at choosing wine than I am.

Javier.

Javier.

Javier, let me try.

Right.

You're fired.

It's about time I started working on my marriage.

Although, could you tell Catherine I think it's better coming from you?

Leave it with me.

Good.

What were you doing?

Wine. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I must work on my memory, too.