Original subtitles

hey tom what are you doing there's no food in there there's some things with

cheese what are you doing mom's gonna make food like in an hour i

don't want to eat that you don't want to eat that i just want a snack are you so

weird sometimes man well leave me alone i'm allowed to like eat stuff out of the

fridge I know, but mom's making food in, like, an hour. Like, why does

everything you do have to be so, like, uncommon?

Like, just eat with us in an hour.

I will, okay? You and mom are going to go in the fridge and just eat little

pieces of cheese when mom's going to make dinner?

Yes. Probably with cheese.

Yes.

You're just so weird, man.

I just wish that you would, like, get more, like, normal.

Like, why didn't you call Stacey back?

She liked you.

I don't.

What am I? I cheat. Like, I don't know what to say. Like, she's not like my

of girl.

Hi, Stacey.

Do you maybe want to go out sometime?

Boom. Done.

But no, you just have to like ignore her and like disappear off the face of the

earth. Like, that's kind of weird. You asked me, you know, about Stacey and

you totally blew her off.

I just asked if she was, like, dating me. I didn't, like, expect you to, like,

actually give me her number or whatever. So you just wanted to know if she was

dating anyone?

I was just curious about, like... Exactly. You're curious about her, so

make something happen with her.

But then you go off and, like, disappear. She wouldn't, like... She

I don't think she'd, like, like me.

Oh, my God. You're so insecure sometimes.

Of course she would like you. Why wouldn't she like you?

I mean, you don't know if you don't try.

Okay, well, can you stop being, like, mean to me? Like, you're just...

okay this is not being mean this is just having a realistic conversation about

the truth like this is what i'm talking about you're always so alone and like so

stuck in your head that you can't see what's right in front of you like i told

you she would probably be down with you but you just have to like

But you're so in your head about, like, you're not going to like me that you

don't even try.

Just because you're my big sister doesn't mean, like, you can just make me

somebody. That's weird.

No, that's where you're wrong, actually. As your big sister, I have to take care

of you. I have to teach you a little bit about the world.

And the way the world works is if you don't do anything, nothing's going to

happen. You know, if you just stay inside and isolate all the time, what do

expect is going to come from that?

So, look. I don't know.

What? Exactly.

Can you even put sentences together?

Like, it's gone too far, bro. Here's what I think we should do.

Okay, look.

We're all going to go to a party tomorrow night.

I don't like parties. I think you should just take a little liquid courage.

Whatever you got to do, I'll give you a pep talk even if you need to. But, like,

come to the party.

You think you're going to be the only socially awkward person there?

No. Maybe, but probably not.

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, I'm going to go to a house party so you and

friends can make fun of me and be weird or something. No, we're not going to

make fun of you. Other people might, but we're not going to.

I'm on your side.

I just want you to get kind of comfortable being around people, and

day soon you'll actually get to fuck a girl.

I've done that before.

Okay, yeah, sure. When? I've never seen you bring a girl home.

A couple, like, there's been a few girls that I've, like, done stuff with. No,

you haven't. I've never seen you bring a girl home.

Fake internet girlfriends that you met on whatever instant messenger don't

count.

I mean, like, a real person you spend time with, you fuck in the afternoon,

fuck them at night.

Okay, I don't want to talk. This is weird, okay?

It's not weird. Come on, sit down with me to the party and don't stop talking.

swear to God.

Okay, fine.

I don't clean clothes. Okay.

Okay? Focus on the music until you get comfortable.

What, like tomorrow?

Tomorrow night. I'm going to start getting ready around, like, four,

Okay, fine.

Really? Yeah, okay. Oh, my God, thank God. Okay. Okay. Just promise you, like,

won't be, like, you'll be, like, nice to me and stuff.

I will be the nicest big sister you've ever had, I swear.

Just look nice, okay?

Okay, fine.

Are you ready to go to... Oh, shit.

Sorry.

What?

That fucking party? God damn it. What are you doing? I thought we were going

the party.

I just remembered it.

Sorry.

Really?

Oh, my God.

You should have texted me before you just come to my room. I thought you knew

were going to a freaking party. Okay.

We're at the party. What are you doing?

What are you...

Okay, well now I see why you're having trouble.

You're gay.

I'm not gay. Oh, you're not gay?

No. What are you doing then with your dick

inside of an asshole that has a penis attached to it?

It's like a trans girl doll thing.

Um, I guess when you put a skirt on it, but...

Couldn't you have gotten, like, I don't know, the boobs or something?

I don't have enough money for the full thing.

It's expensive.

Can you just let me, like, finish and then, like... I feel really, like,

responsible for, like... I feel just, like, really responsible to, like, not

you finish in your little friend there because...

There's, like, a real girl waiting for you at a party who wants you to finish

her. Okay, but, um... I mean, are you... That's not going to, like, even, like,

happen.

It will if you just follow my instructions. I know these things.

Come on. Let your big sister help you out.

Okay,

you're messing up my thing. Look, this is a little... It's just a little weird.

Like, I'm totally...

pro everything but um this isn't a person there's a person who wants to

with you okay i just don't like like regular girls because they're like it's

that i'm i wouldn't try to do like a whatever

like girl with a vagina or whatever but like um i just think they're like

they're too hard to like talk to and like i don't like i don't want to like

i get it even girls have a hard time talking to girls like girls are a little

scary but they're not like so scary that you like need to

never fuck one of them like or ever go for it it's like really just the

beginning getting through the beginning and then once a girl likes you she's

like the friendliest fucking butterfly all around you you just have to just

of break the with her and that's what i'm going to show you how to do but you

don't need to be this scared okay this i just yeah but like i like a lot of

different stuff and like girls are like they like judge you and stuff yep but

with the help of your big sister i'm going to make sure that she judges you

decides that you're great

We're not going to tell her about this.

It's not the trans thing. It's just the fact that it's not a real person.

But I just can't let you... I don't want to go anymore. Just, like, let me...

Come on.

Go. Go have fun.

No, it's freaking Saturday night. I can't let my fucking little brother have

with a non -person when there's a real person who wants to fuck him. Trust me,

once you get the taste of real pussy, there is no going back.

I promise you, you will...

Jump through rings of fire. It will never be scary again.

You just will. You got to get it.

Okay. I just don't. I don't think that I.

I don't feel like doing that. Because it's like not going to work.

I really wish. She's not going to really like me.

You've never been with a girl, huh?

I can tell.

Yeah. No. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Because if you had, you would know.

Getting rejected.

Totally worth it if it means you might get laid.

I really just think you need to, like, you know, you know, just, like, do it

once, get it over with, and then you'll be good to go.

I'll do it whenever it happens, okay? Just leave me alone, okay? I have a

question, bro.

Have you ever seen Goop?

Yes, I've seen Goop 20 times.

Oh, have you ever?

Can you stop, like, making fun of me? I'm not making fun of you. I'm half

in your room. Like, when we're together, you have to let me help you.

Come on, let's just bang it out.

What are you talking about? Just do it once.

Come on.

I'm offering you this.

You can fuck me and do whatever you want to do to me, okay?

And then...

You won't be scared anymore.

And then you can give it to Daisy, an other real girl.

That won't... That's exactly how it works. Yeah.

It's only scary in the beginning.

I promise.

I promise.

Do you trust me?

I mean, maybe.

Do you trust me, girl?

You telling me you don't want to touch these?

I'll touch them.

Thank you for what I got.

But I can't have sex with my big sister. That's going to make me even weirder,

isn't it?

Not if nobody knows.

By the time I'm done with you, you're going to be the hottest guy in town.

No one's going to know about your little quirks.

And I won't tell anyone.

You promise? Because I don't want anyone to know that I fucked my father.

Yeah, that's a good point.

You know? It's one of your secrets.

Can you help me?

Just relax, okay?

Okay.

Don't worry, I'm going to show you everything you need to know.

Is that good? Yeah.

Do you

think my penis is, like, okay?

I think it's really, really great.

It's a really nice curve.

If you're really going to make the girl happy, you just have to give it to them.

Okay? Like, for real?

For real.

Once they feel it in their mouths, in their hands, in their pussies.

And it's like a penis that you would like to do stuff with? If it wasn't

like, brother? Brother's penis?

Yeah. No, definitely. If I went down on a guy and whipped this out, I'd be very

excited.

Okay, cool.

Mm -hmm.

i actually think it's gonna do her like this

getting

excited little brother? yeah

Then you just slow down or you pull it out.

Don't worry, I'll teach you all the tips.

They're not too big not too small not too hairy

they smell good

But when they're clean, I just love to do this.

So weird.

No, it's really hot.

Sometimes I like to go down south, too.

Just to see his reaction.

My butt?

Uh -huh.

Fun fact we call this the rusty trombone

Yeah, I'm very confident.

Do you like the recipe, Treadmill and Brother?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Alright.

You're gonna penetrate.

You're just gonna put, like, no condom or anything? No, brother, no.

Any girl that you actually, that's actually worth your time won't ask for a

condom, okay?

Okay. The only ones you wanna fuck with are the little sluts.

Yeah, but isn't that, like, kind of, like, dangerous?

Risky? Very risky.

You want to start feeling right there. You feel that? Yeah.

Little slices happen right there. Oh, that feels good.

Sorry.

Okay, I'll try not to. You'll try not to come.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I was just like, so I was just like thinking about like coming.

No, you can't come.

Yeah, but it feels really good. I just, I don't know if I can.

It'll be fine.

It'll be fine. You're not going to come, okay?

Okay. Okay, you know what? I have a little trick.

Okay, just think about them.

But I hate sports.

Perfect. Exactly.

All right.

Think about sports. Think about anything else.

Elevators, whatever.

Okay? And that, like, worked?

Mm -hmm.

See? Do you feel it coming right now? As bad as you did before?

No. Then you just think about something else. Okay.

Try to lower the excitement just a little.

Okay. The numbers in your head, whatever.

Okay. Yeah, that's better.

Now we can bring it back and we can keep having fun.

Okay. Okay, that's how that works.

Okay, you can put it back inside you, I think.

Is that what you want? Good, you're having a good time.

Proud of you, bro.

Yeah.

Just put it right down my head.

Okay.

This is so hard.

It's popping up.

Good. Good little brother.

Good little brother with the big cock. Yes.

So good.

Thank you. So much respect.

Oh, my God.

You do this all the time.

Oh, yeah. I've had sex a bunch of times.

I will see you, brother. You have a really nice dick.

Okay. I'm so mad that you're not sharing it with the rest of the world.

I want to do this again.

You do?

Yeah. So good. Are you going to come to the party?

Yeah. Oh, yes.

Good job, brother.