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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,360 Dear viewer! 2 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:33,720 I have nothing but bad news for you. 3 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,400 The Government is forced to raise the car tax and the land tax, 4 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,720 the inheritance tax and the VAT, 5 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,600 the income tax and the subsistence tax. 6 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,520 Urban transport is halting due to the lack of money. 7 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:51,440 Police ends their patrols and the Rescue Board is disbanded. 8 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:55,440 On strike are the teachers, the farmers, the tram drivers, 9 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,560 the pastry chefs, the athletes and the actors. 10 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:04,280 The European Union considers throwing Estonia out. 11 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:10,760 Actor Jan Uuspõld, however, has turned a new leaf in his life. 12 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:16,200 The famous actor publicly unveils his new lover. 13 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,280 Life is like a fairy tale! 14 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,800 Will this fairy tale have a happy ending? 15 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,000 I dare to doubt it. 16 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:26,640 Like my friend T. H. Ilves once said: 17 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,000 "There is nothing more despicable for an Estonian 18 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,720 than the happiness of another Estonian." 19 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,680 Rock around the cock! 20 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,759 Jan, what is wrong with you? 21 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,320 Is this necessary? 22 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,600 Of course! It gives you a kind of healthy glow. 23 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:14,680 It stings. 24 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,760 It has to. - Oh, it does? 25 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,640 Oh my God, what is going on here today? 26 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,880 Ževakin is a wannabe-director 27 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,960 filming the world's sexiest centenarian. 28 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,400 Cringe alert. Cringe alert. 29 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,680 Totally cringe! Whoa! 30 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,680 Why does charging have to come with completely fuckery? 31 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,000 Relax! I am here and beside you. 32 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,320 But if the call is about work? 33 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,720 Well, this is our work, isn't it? 34 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,960 Think about it ― we started together from scratch. 35 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,360 Well, yeah. 36 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,040 Look at where we've made it in this time. Right? 37 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:49,600 Still no money though. 38 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,920 Make-up! - What is this? 39 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,560 This is detox lamination. 40 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:57,000 Is this necessary? - Yeah, it's our new service! 41 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,640 Why? I look like a sausage. 42 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,880 Stop it! You're perfect. 43 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,320 Listen, I don't know how to do these things. 44 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,520 Only you can do it, everyone loves you. 45 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,880 You think so? - Yeah! 46 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,320 Can you take his pants off? - Please, Jan. 47 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,840 We can't disappoint people. - Okay. 48 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,000 So let's do this intimate scene! 49 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,680 Very good, very good, alright! 50 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,200 Alright. Jan, I'm here! 51 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,560 Jan! Shoot! Very good! 52 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,840 Whoa, mariachi! 53 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,960 Very good, very good! - Isn't this a little tasteless? 54 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,920 What do you mean? You're a star! You've got the power! 55 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,200 Go on, let's do this. See. - Oh, mariachi, huh? 56 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,320 What is this? - What? 57 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,000 Look! 58 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,640 A boil on his ass! 59 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,200 The doctor said it's due to nerves. 60 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,680 What nerves? - Does it hurt? 61 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,280 Yeah, nerves. - Hey, do something! 62 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:45,840 Where's the make-up? 63 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,480 We need foundation in bulk here. - How long will it take? 64 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,320 Half an hour at least. - What?! 65 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,320 Can't we do it quicker? - Maybe Photoshop could help? 66 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,600 Photoshop? That's cheap! 67 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,240 But I am a cheap man. 68 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,880 Okay. Okay, let's do it. - Sorry. 69 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,360 Jan, here. Hi. How are you then? - Jan! 70 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:12,720 I've been thinking about you. 71 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,320 Jan, I understand that you've had a nice summer. 72 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,160 Middle age. You're in heat. But this party ends now. 73 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,519 You'll tell summer wife "bye-bye!" and march back home. 74 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,839 All clear, right? - Home, huh? 75 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,360 Yeah, home! 76 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,040 I'll be back from India in two weeks. 77 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:26,880 Wait, I... - And one more thing ― 78 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,640 The bank account better be at the same state as before. 79 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,000 The money is for our summer home which you stuff in your lover now. 80 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,080 Okay, but... 81 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,480 I need a husband and the kid needs a dad. 82 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,840 Listen, wait... - Ciao, husband! 83 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,720 I packed our bags in the meantime. 84 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,120 So sweet. 85 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,240 Are you taking these sweatpants along? 86 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,320 Yeah! 87 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:48,920 Okay. 88 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,400 Right, so with this Tenerife... There is a catch. 89 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,840 What catch? 90 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,200 I can't come. 91 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,560 What do you mean you can't? 92 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:00,880 I suddenly got this thing. 93 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,480 What thing? 94 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,040 My uncle's dog fell ill. I have to babysit it, 95 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,040 uncle himself is sick too. 96 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,440 Wait, who is sick ― your uncle or his dog? 97 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,120 The do... uncle. 98 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,120 The dog is sick too. 99 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,400 Well, maybe someone else can babysit the dog? 100 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,200 No. It's the kind of dog who bites people. 101 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,240 Bites people, huh? - Yeah. 102 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:33,280 When the dog was a puppy, my uncle beat him. 103 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,480 Jan, did your wife call you just now? 104 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,320 The phone did ring, yeah. 105 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,840 But I took care of it, it's done. 106 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,040 She told you to come home, didn't she? 107 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,040 We actually did consider the options. 108 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,200 Why are you treating me as if I were some kind of rag! 109 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,600 I'm not treating you... - You are though! 110 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,400 Honey... 111 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:15,720 How have I wronged you? - You've done nothing wrong. 112 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,760 So why are you behaving like this? 113 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,880 I thought I'd pop home, check out how things are. 114 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,920 I was so looking forward to this trip. 115 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,360 Maybe I could still come then. 116 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,600 You could? It would be a super trip for us. 117 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,600 There's the sun and the sea. 118 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:41,520 And just the two of us. Naked on the beach sand. 119 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:47,080 Making endless love. - Endless. 120 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,880 Listen, I've been thinking and I need to take my time. 121 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,480 And anyway, I'm off to... - Are you still with that person? 122 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,360 I'm not, honestly! 123 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,200 So where are you then? 124 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,360 At the beach. 125 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,480 The beach? - Yeah. 126 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,160 I felt I had to come and see the sea. 127 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,440 I need some time alone to think. 128 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:09,960 About stuff. A bit. 129 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,960 And what are those sounds? 130 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:14,560 Seagulls. 131 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,000 Seagulls? 132 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,240 Yeah. 133 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,480 Send a selfie, I want to see your damn seagulls. 134 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,240 What? Now? For what? 135 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,920 So I can understand whether you're fucking with me or not. 136 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:40,080 JAN UUSPÕLD GOES HOME 137 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,360 Jan?! 138 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,360 What are you doing here? 139 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,600 Oh, I just... Been thinking on my own. 140 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,600 Came to take a selfie for your wife 141 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,520 about thinking on your own at the beach, huh? 142 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:15,000 Actually it's very good that I saw you just now. 143 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,200 An idea! 144 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,800 A concrete offer. 145 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,160 A film that will be the talk of the town next year. 146 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,240 Jan Uuspõld Goes to Tartu. 147 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,840 The new version. 148 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,919 I mean a top product, not the amateurish crap they made last time. 149 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,880 The AI will write, Arvo makes the tunes, there will be top actors. 150 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,200 I wouldn't have expected such a dumb idea even from you. 151 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,160 What do you mean? Wait, what's the problem? 152 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,120 Listen, I no longer feel like playing an idiot. 153 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,640 This Jan Uuspõld movie is the thing that ruined my life. 154 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,600 I'd rather do something serious, something with meaning. 155 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:55,240 Okay, okay, we'll do something serious. 156 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,440 First this and then we'll go deep. Really. 157 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,200 First you need the new coming of Uuspõld. 158 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,840 Then I'll just keep on coming. 159 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,400 Coming... and going again. 160 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,960 Arvo, stay in your element, alright? 161 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,440 Wait, where were we? Will you do it? 162 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,800 I'd rather not. 163 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,720 Okay. Everyone lives their lives as they can. 164 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,240 Or like God guides them. 165 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,200 Arvo, no! 166 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,480 Let's go. - Hey, wait! Wait. 167 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,520 Could you give me a little loan? 168 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:31,720 A loan? 169 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,880 Yeah. Like ten grand or something. 170 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,200 Ten grand? - Yeah. 171 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,240 The debt collectors hound me all the time. 172 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:40,920 Those bloodsuckers take everything away. 173 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,440 Damn it, shit. 174 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,520 I won't give you a loan. 175 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,920 But what I can do... is to give you an advance. 176 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,160 You sign, you get the advance. - What does it say? 177 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:54,440 Pfft, the usual crap. Legal stuff. 178 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,320 You sign away your rights to life and everything. 179 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,920 Rights... sign away... 180 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,520 Give me a pen. 181 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,680 My shitty life belongs to everyone else anyway. 182 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:07,800 Hey, come on... 183 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,560 Everyone knows better how I should live my life! 184 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,160 Goddamn bunch of monkeys! 185 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,880 Well! - Well, well! Here you go! 186 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,840 Arvo! 187 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,480 Oh, right. 188 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,720 Oh, mortal! You are weak. 189 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,120 Everything easily gotten is lost easily. 190 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:36,880 The tempting song of the sirens suffocates the voice of reason. 191 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,280 Thus the young gentleman loses everything he had. 192 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,360 And the road home grows ever longer. 193 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,600 Cocksville! 194 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:50,760 Bad words. 195 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,360 So what should I say? 196 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,800 Dang it. 197 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,480 Gaggle of cocks! 198 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,600 What? 199 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,800 Listen! Tintinnabuli. 200 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:22,680 Yeah, one-two, here's the dew. 201 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,280 Could you maybe write it down? 202 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,640 My credit is currently screwing the debit. 203 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,160 Write it down? No, I can't write it down. 204 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:32,920 Why not? 205 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,600 The thing is, the drinks are actually on me today. 206 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,880 Oh? 207 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,320 Today I have a slightly less bad day than usual. 208 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,600 Yeah? - It's my last day at work. 209 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,800 Oh, what happened? 210 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,680 Well, my Swedish aunt died. 211 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,400 Oh, I'm so sorry. 212 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,200 Left me quite a hefty inheritance. 213 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,640 Ah! What are you planning to do? 214 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,320 I thought I'd enter the world of investment. 215 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,240 Investments to the soil is really hot right now. 216 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:03,800 Very interesting. 217 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:09,080 I, for example, am currently incredibly drawn to love. 218 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:10,960 Love? - Yeah. 219 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,480 See, if you've had sex till morning, Urmas, 220 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:19,520 then next day you'll feel like running over air. 221 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,680 It's unbelievable how women want men of our age. 222 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,960 Me and you. 223 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,560 Me? - Yeah, you! 224 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:37,200 No, being completely honest, sex is not a solution. 225 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,840 So what is then? 226 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,560 Well, investments. 227 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,200 Visions of the future. Stable self-development. 228 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:49,200 What are you talking about? We are born here to be wild. 229 00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:00,600 How stupid am I? I've got everything. 230 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,880 Okay, bye! - Jan! Where are you going? 231 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:10,440 He's just not the man for you. - Don't say that! 232 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,320 Honey, you deserve so much better. 233 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,600 I don't know, I feel so empty inside. 234 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,880 Look who came! 235 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:23,880 Jan! 236 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:25,880 Right, ahem. 237 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,320 What was I supposed to say again? 238 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,600 Hit like and subscribe! Cupido beauty salon! 239 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,120 You walked away yesterday. 240 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,920 Left me here like some kind of dummy. 241 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,040 You weren't exactly alone, were you? 242 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,760 So, Jan Uuspõld is now back. 243 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:51,680 Does he really think he could just leave Britta alone yesterday? 244 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,480 And now he's back and thinks that nothing happened? 245 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,560 What do these persons want from us? 246 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,760 These people are my family. - What family? 247 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,720 They're parasites! 248 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,160 Tapeworms! Heads up in the anus. 249 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,800 Did you hear what he said? 250 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,560 Wait, I didn't get this... Say it again. 251 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,560 Hey, don't record all the time! 252 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,480 You know, you can wave your hands around here, 253 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,760 but I have over 300 thousand followers 254 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,400 and they all know what's going on. 255 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:24,960 Give me that! 256 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,840 Your new boobs! 257 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:52,760 My new boobs! 258 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,160 Those cost twenty grand! 259 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,520 Don't grope me! Go away! 260 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,400 This beautiful fairy tale we had... 261 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,840 ...has now been broken! 262 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:19,840 Out! 263 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:57,960 Good morning! 264 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,080 You again. - Yes! 265 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,720 Leave grandpa alone now. He's not feeling well. 266 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,200 I'm feeling great. 267 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,160 So, what are your plans? 268 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:35,240 My plans? The usual - I've got work. Lots to do. 269 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,400 A film is underway. 270 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:43,080 I'm also preparing a tour and some stand-up stuff. 271 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,560 Little odds and ends. All over Estonia. 272 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,640 I'm actually started with investments. 273 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,040 Okay. Investments? - Yeah. 274 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,840 Oh, you need pocket money? 275 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,800 Yeah... Wouldn't hurt. A hundred. By the end of the week. 276 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,960 For investing. 277 00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:05,880 You'll get twenty. 278 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,520 Difficult times. - What's so difficult for you? 279 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,040 You seem to have everything in order all the time. 280 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,440 Looks like it, sure. 281 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,839 But you know ― I'm my father's daughter. 282 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:23,280 I would help you but, my situation is difficult too. 283 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,440 Don't worry, I always have someone to lean on. 284 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:27,720 Oh, who then? 285 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,160 Myself, of course. 286 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,800 You really are tough as nails. 287 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,480 If I leaned on myself I'd immediately fall over. 288 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,520 Dad, you've actually got it in your pocket somewhere. 289 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,880 So take it out. 290 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,640 If I stick my hand in my pocket, there's nothing but debris. 291 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,880 See? 292 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,400 There's nothing here. I can't find my thing. 293 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:55,840 Sorry. 294 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,520 Maybe I could crash at your place tonight as well? 295 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,160 Tonight's not good. 296 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,600 Why? 297 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,320 I've got a Tinder date. 298 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,880 Listen. 299 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,920 See, freedom is a very good thing. 300 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,160 Speaking from my own experience. 301 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,720 You can do what you want, don't have to be responsible for anyone. 302 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:30,960 But a good permanent relationship? No freedom can replace that. 303 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,480 Uhuh. 304 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,120 Thanks for the fatherly advice! 305 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,960 You're welcome! 306 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,440 Your guitar sounds good. 307 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,200 Yeah, it's the same instrument Johnny Cash used to play. 308 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,720 Really? - Yeah. 309 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:46,960 Let me see. 310 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,280 That adds value to the instrument. 311 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:52,560 I'll take it. 312 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,680 No, you can't take that, come on! 313 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,800 Yes I can. - That was my wife's gift to me. 314 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,000 Why should I care? 315 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,000 I did not tell you to be in debts, did I? 316 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,000 Hey, give it back! 317 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:03,800 That's my working tool. 318 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,080 I'll earn money, then I can pay you back. 319 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,240 Hang on now. I've got a solution. 320 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,680 What is this? - The harmonica of Bob Dylan. 321 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,040 I confiscated it because of his debts. 322 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,560 He did beg me, said it brought luck. 323 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,280 Earn some money with that. 324 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,320 The guitar is coming with me. 325 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,600 The young gentleman must swallow his pride 326 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:40,480 and accept with gratitude what life has to offer him. 327 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,480 Yes, Jan? - Listen, I thought about it 328 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,200 and I'm accepting your offer. 329 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,320 What? 330 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,080 Thirteen... fifteen! - Hi! 331 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,880 Oh, hey, Jan! 332 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,280 The grand old man is also present, huh? 333 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,360 Listen, they're waiting for you. - You, Franz, are everywhere. 334 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,440 Nah, I'm not everywhere, I'm picky. 335 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,000 Quality before quantity, right? 336 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,080 Right? Well? Where are they? Show me, please. 337 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,720 Right, yeah. 338 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,080 No, this is crap. 339 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:28,360 This is bullshit. 340 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,680 You're letting the boys write jokes for you? 341 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,000 Yeah, yeah. 342 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,640 Well, no, if I perform them they'll be my jokes in the end. 343 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:39,640 To make the audience like me, I have to work all the time. 344 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:41,240 Jan Uuspõld? 345 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:42,960 Follow me. 346 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,800 Break a leg! - Thanks. 347 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:45,920 You've got something here. 348 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:52,120 Jan? Over here. - Thanks. 349 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,080 Right! Hello, Jan! 350 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:58,560 Hello! 351 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,840 We've got our sponsors here. 352 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,880 The madam from the ministry. So show us what you've got. 353 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,480 You want me to perform something? 354 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,520 I don't understand. What am I supposed to do? 355 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,320 Show us some of your tricks, if you please. 356 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,280 I don't understand what do you want from me? 357 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,000 What are you organizing here? - One moment. 358 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:42,720 This is your last chance to prove that you are still headline stuff 359 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,920 despite all that damn crap? 360 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,080 What am I supposed to do? I don't understand. 361 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,160 Tell me! 362 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,760 Just be your fucking self. 363 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,960 Or, fuck it, just crack a joke. 364 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,520 Crack a joke? - Yeah. 365 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,600 Okay, okay, fine. 366 00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,800 Right, I think we're all good now. 367 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,200 Aren't we? 368 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,520 Jan? - Yeah. Here it comes. 369 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:24,680 I'll start by introducing myself. 370 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:27,760 My name is Jan Uuspõld. 371 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,880 I'm fifty. 372 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,080 Heheh.. - That wasn't the joke yet. 373 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,000 Pornhub is something I check out really often. 374 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,760 They do some very interesting things there. 375 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,320 Men and women. To each other. When they get together. 376 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,520 Some do it with their mouths like this. 377 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:52,160 By the way, I wanted to ask the ministry madam... 378 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,000 Did you know that 80 per cent of women 379 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,320 masturbate in the shower? - Thank you, Jan! 380 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,840 But did you know what the other 20 per cent do in the shower? 381 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,040 You don't? 382 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,840 Yeah, I though you are part of the 80 per cent. 383 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,000 Jan! - Yeah? 384 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,120 Hey, Jan? How did it go? - Oh, I don't know. 385 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,200 Listen, no worries! 386 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,920 You are the Homer of stand-up comedy, after all! 387 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,520 Well, my idea is to create a database 388 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,000 where we can record all kinds of words from the Votic language. 389 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:26,240 Grammar and all sorts of phrases. 390 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,640 So we can later revive the language. 391 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:29,840 A good idea! 392 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,480 I can compile the algorithms on a binary basis. 393 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:36,400 Next year I'm going to Singapore to study data analytics. 394 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,240 Listen, you've got very cool ideas. 395 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,240 You'll explore the world, Gonna make a lot of money. 396 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,760 But I have to go home again. 397 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,880 It's all over for me. 398 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,800 Your world is opening. Mine is closing. 399 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,000 Maybe not exactly closing. 400 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,880 Well, it is or it isn't. 401 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:00,360 Who's that? 402 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,720 There are all kinds of crazies in the tram all the time. 403 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:03,920 Let's move away. 404 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,200 Man! For too long have you been in love 405 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,040 with the mirror image shimmering on the water! 406 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,040 The way you see yourself is a far cry from 407 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,800 how the world looks at you. 408 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,960 DARKER SIDE OF THE FAMOUS ACTOR? 409 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,040 Scandalous violence shocks the nation. 410 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:35,600 Stay with us! 411 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,280 This is the BONE DRILL! 412 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,040 Jan Uuspõld threw Britta into the corner yesterday 413 00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:42,400 and now he's back as if nothing happened. 414 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,360 Put that away! 415 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,200 You can wave your hands, 416 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,240 but I have over 300 thousand followers 417 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,320 and they all know what's going on. 418 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,360 Screw you and your followers! 419 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,480 For too long the society has tolerated this privileged 420 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,840 patriarchy, who can do whatever they feel like. 421 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:06,360 Jan Uuspõld is a prime example of toxic masculinity. 422 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,120 Middle-aged white heterosexual man. Violent. 423 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,440 Both mentally and physically. - Don't you grope me! 424 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,400 Fuck! 425 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,280 Damn pig! 426 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,120 Look! 427 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,880 The only solution is to cancel these individuals. 428 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,880 Both themselves and their so-called 'works'. 429 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,520 Really? 430 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:40,040 Dude, what the hell have you done?! 431 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,360 What do you mean I won't be playing in my own movie? 432 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,720 Jan, calm down. Listen. - What? 433 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,880 Get over here. Look. 434 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,560 Here's the thing. You've got the reputation of a toxic man. 435 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,920 Don't you start with this toxic... - Wait, listen! 436 00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:01,360 I really tried. But the investors said no. 437 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,160 Nothing to be done. - So who's playing me? 438 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,400 He's young. A future star. Athletic. Innovative. 439 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,840 The algorithm says the people absolutely adore him. 440 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,240 Yeah. 441 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,120 So... Malmsten. 442 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,960 The young one? 443 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,440 He's in a every piece of shit, though. Why take him? 444 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,400 Maybe there's a reason why he's in every film? 445 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,680 People want to see him. 446 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,080 Jan? People don't like you. I don't like you either. 447 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,160 I don't like you! - I don't like you more! 448 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,400 Hey, knock it off, both of you! Anyway, it is how it is. 449 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,520 I'm going to veto this, damn it. See you in court! 450 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,760 Whoa, whoa. Let me remind you. 451 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,440 You signed this deal, didn't you? 452 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,240 Waiving all your rights. 453 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,800 To yourself, your name, your work. So... 454 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,600 I don't care about some goddamn contract. 455 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,280 No, let him eat it! That's a copy. So... 456 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,000 You know, Jan? 457 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,240 We spent some quality time together. It was cool. 458 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,720 Have a sip. - Uh, no, I can't right now. 459 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,760 I've got a meeting with some important people. 460 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,760 I've got this presentation. On investments. 461 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:20,920 Lõhmus, Haavel, Viisemann. 462 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,520 I'm planning a kind of... - Congrats. 463 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,600 Yeah. Thanks! 464 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,160 I feel things are going well for me! 465 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,640 That's great. Really great. 466 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,000 But I want things to go well for you too. Jan? 467 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,080 Can I do anything for you? 468 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,440 Nothing to be done anymore. 469 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,040 Nothing, huh? - No. 470 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,840 So I'm going then? 471 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,840 Yeah. You go on then. 472 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,080 Alright, bye then! - Go, go already! 473 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,400 Jan? - Just go, alright? 474 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,920 Listen, you really need to go now! 475 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,440 I'm going! 476 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,200 Lucky harmonica my ass! 477 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,000 Confess, bastard! 478 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,480 Jan Uuspõld! Your time has come! 479 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,160 Hey, you were supposed to pack stuff into the boxes! 480 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:10,280 I want to torment grandpa! - Not right now. Go on. 481 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,040 Why are you taping boxes? 482 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,720 Seems like we have to move. 483 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,000 Why? 484 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:22,560 Bank loan is horrendous and I'm not getting any new jobs. 485 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,880 You wanted that apartment so much though? 486 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,720 Remember how happy you were when you got this home? 487 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,800 Listen, I'd really want to help... - Quit worrying, dad! 488 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,920 Everything's okay. I'll manage. 489 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,520 Your pancake's waiting. 490 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,800 Our hero is trapped. 491 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:52,240 To go on or to stay behind? That is the question. 492 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:53,600 What damn question is that? 493 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,320 The builders have already been called. 494 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,680 The bills have to be paid before you get home! 495 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,760 Aw, don't go! The party is only getting started! 496 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,160 Listen, you'd better go and see a psychologist. 497 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,680 Uuspõld? Uuspõld, damn it, is that you? 498 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:10,920 Uuspõld, come here! 499 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,400 Guys, this is Uuspõld! - Hey, it's Uuspõld! 500 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:15,960 Don't you recognize me? 501 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,520 Oh, now it dawns on me, yeah. - Yeah, that's right! 502 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,640 You're still in the old business? - I'm now in the event marketing. 503 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,160 Hey, hop on, we'll drop you off. Where are you going? 504 00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,440 Listen, you don't have to... I've got nowhere to go anyway. 505 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,480 Well, even better, even easier. Go on! Inside, let's go! 506 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,120 Geez, you've gotten so old! Haven't seen in twenty years. 507 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:33,280 Get on! Now! 508 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,040 What was your line in that film? 509 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,440 I don't know what you... 510 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,200 "I have to go to Tartu." 511 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:50,920 Awesome! 512 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,080 The guys have their very last free night. 513 00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,400 Tomorrow they're off to the young men's summer academy. 514 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,000 I have to go as punishment. 515 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:02,680 The old man caught me for a third time. 516 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,080 Doing what? 517 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:05,440 Ah, nothing. 518 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:09,080 It's no punishment for me. For me, it builds character. 519 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,240 We're people of values, you see. 520 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:16,120 Jan? Show us your wrists! 521 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:21,560 See, guys, right? 522 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,600 These are the wrists that can get some ladies. 523 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:24,680 Alpha hands! 524 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:25,760 See! 525 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,600 My hands are hopeless. 526 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:30,880 Boiled noodles, not hands. 527 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,200 Jan, my head is long. 528 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,920 I have a long head because I have a big brain. 529 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:43,880 The feminoids doesn't like... 530 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,360 Give me another one! 531 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,440 Jan, smack me one too! 532 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:55,200 What? Hey... - Hey, come on, go! 533 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:56,280 or what... - Please! 534 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,680 The more you pummel facial bones the manlier your face becomes! 535 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,840 Go on, it makes feminoids wet! 536 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,360 Enough with this bullshit! 537 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,160 You've got the most famous Uuspõld of the universe here! 538 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,440 It's on! 539 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:37,560 I have the honor of living at the same time as two titans. 540 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,680 Guess who? 541 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,800 I don't know. 542 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,880 Ott Tänak. 543 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:46,960 And the other one? 544 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,600 Jan Uuspõld! 545 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:56,160 That's right! You're the only actor with balls! 546 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,640 Maybe I even still have balls. 547 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:03,760 But... 548 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:06,120 Something is missing. 549 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,159 I've been trying to please everyone for too long. 550 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,400 So where's the harm in that? 551 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,800 I'd like to find myself. 552 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:24,760 I'd like to tell people honestly about the existential abyss of a man. 553 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,480 That's very good. 554 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,280 Very good! 555 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,600 That manly stuff... 556 00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:40,400 and in between - a bunch of fart jokes! 557 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,480 We're going to do a tour with you! 558 00:34:42,639 --> 00:34:45,199 Everyone will show up when they see your name. 559 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,960 Trust me, we have to take money away from dumb people! 560 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,560 Resilience, resilience. - Urmas! 561 00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:02,080 Oh, hi, Jan, yeah. - This is Krõll. 562 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,240 Listen, I'm in a real hurry right now. 563 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,360 Hey, I've got an awesome proposition, hear me out. 564 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,160 Yes, okay, but see, I have to go now. 565 00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:13,280 I've got a presentation to deliver. - To whom? 566 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,160 Lõhmus, Haavel, Viisemann. About investing! 567 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,480 Listen, I've got this pan-Estonian project, you understand? 568 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,840 Yes, but... - My tour! You're bankrolling it. 569 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,240 But I have this really important presentation about resilience... 570 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,200 Grab him! Grab the legs! Quickly! 571 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,560 Jan, what are you doing? 572 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,280 Easy, easy, Urmas. I'm here. 573 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,840 Hello... Jan. 574 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,360 Hi, hi, now listen, here's the gist: 575 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,800 a summer tour. Jan Uuspõld 50. 576 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:47,160 Top comics will be there. Padar, Genka - the whole industry. 577 00:35:47,240 --> 00:35:48,800 But the starting capital comes from you. 578 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,160 From me? No, no. 579 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:51,640 You're skimming the cream off the top! 580 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:53,880 In that sense, yeah. 581 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:59,440 The thing is that I have these finances in various fund. 582 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:00,880 They're invested. 583 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,480 And in that sense there is this volatile economic situation. 584 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:05,560 I can't put my eggs... 585 00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:07,920 Couldn't understand a word right now. 586 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,400 In that sense that let me sit on this idea... 587 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,480 "In that sense, in that sense." You're not sitting on anything. 588 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,000 And no hatching eggs here. 589 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,720 In the entertainment world the quick eat the slow. 590 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,920 Yeah. I have to go now, I have enough tension as it is. 591 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,000 Ummi! 592 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,240 I feel your tension. 593 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:41,560 Done! I broke the spine. 594 00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:42,720 Mine? 595 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,880 No! Of the inner tension. 596 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,320 In that sense... - In that sense we'll get started. 597 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:51,400 Time is money! 598 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,400 So basically the tour would take place on this big stage. 599 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,800 We'd go all through Estonia, but first we'd fire off 10 shows. 600 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:05,880 For testing. 601 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:09,480 Kõmsi, Mõisaküla... We'd go from there. Võru, Helsinki! Definitely. 602 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:13,400 Pan-Estonian tour. And you'd make a great MC there. 603 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:15,240 And what exactly would we be doing there together? 604 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,280 You'd do stand-up. 605 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,320 And what would you do? 606 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:24,120 Jan is the grand old man of Estonian classical humor after all. 607 00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:27,640 Well, he's old indeed. 608 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:33,040 I do support the best of the best. Top athletes and classical music. 609 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:34,880 Rally and opera. 610 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,760 It's high time to take Estonian comedy also to the world stage. 611 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,360 Listen, I'd come on your show to talk about the new tour. 612 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,000 Put on some costumes, make a cool scene. 613 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,000 You'd get good content too. 614 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:50,240 Do you even know what Genka's market value is right now? 615 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,080 Remember, it was like 10 years ago, when I asked you consider 616 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,120 me as an opener for your show. You don't remember? 617 00:37:58,480 --> 00:37:59,840 I don't, sorry, man. 618 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,120 All those 15 years I've been telling you: 619 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:03,400 "Jan, come to the open mic session. 620 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,720 Practice, write, let's do it together, let's go on a tour." 621 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:07,840 Where were you? 622 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,680 Hello? Ha, whose voice do I hear! 623 00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:14,400 A good proposal. Franz Malmsten? 624 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,280 I am definitely backing him. Let's do it! Let's do it! 625 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:22,200 Let's do it like this: you call us and we will definitely be in touch. 626 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:31,160 Confidentially, I can say that this Malmsten is... 627 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,320 I know, you're a top, top dude, you've always helped us. 628 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,600 But we can't right now, you're so deep in shit. 629 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:43,240 I can't let you on the air in the show. 630 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,320 Damn it, cut it out! 631 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,240 You do understand how the situation is right now. 632 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:47,320 Urmas! Give me some cash! 633 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,200 Listen, I can pay you! - Don't! No! 634 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:54,440 Henri, do you feel like going on tour with these men? 635 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,320 So we won't have a sponsorship deal? 636 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,880 I wish you luck in finding the money! 637 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,400 No, actually it won't do. 638 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,480 My weekly schedule is tightly regulated. 639 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:17,240 In red, are my working hours. Yellow ones are like leisure time. 640 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:21,880 And green means athleticism. - Athleticism? 641 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,520 Yeah. I'm preparing for a triathlon. 642 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,720 Thriatlon can wait! 643 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,360 We need to book the big stages, right? 644 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:30,840 So you will cough up the tenner. 645 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,120 Ten euros? 646 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:33,880 Ten grand, Urmas! 647 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,400 Ten grand? No, for me... 648 00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,280 Stop moaning! Think! 649 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,160 You'll get it back, tenfold. 650 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,000 Get it back? Tenfold? - Well... double. 651 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:49,760 Threefold. - Three. Two and a half. 652 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:53,920 Well... My grandma did say: 653 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,960 "Let the hundred go so the thousand can come." 654 00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,040 Exactly! Your grandma was a smart man. 655 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,120 Very nice! 656 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:17,840 Goddamn it! 657 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:22,600 Uuspõld! 658 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:23,880 Krieger. 659 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:25,800 You're the one I needed! 660 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,000 Jan! 661 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,480 You and me, we're celebrities. - Yeah? 662 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:37,120 Get this: we must join our forces. - We are? 663 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:39,440 Yeah! We'll make a hit. 664 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,680 We will win! We will win! Anyway! 665 00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:00,160 Finally a big stage. 666 00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:02,360 "We will win! We will win!" 667 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,160 "Anyway!" 668 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:10,080 "We will win! We will win! Anyway!" 669 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,960 "The time is now. My dear friends, together today." 670 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:17,280 Who are you? 671 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,760 That is a teaching aid! No touching! 672 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:33,440 Uh, sorry. Hello! I am Jan Uuspõld and our show is about to start here. 673 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:35,960 No, it isn't. 674 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,440 What you mean, it isn't? 675 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,640 My intimacy training is about to start here. 676 00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:42,880 But we booked the rooms. 677 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,680 Listen, girl, no need to be angry! 678 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:46,640 Finger... off! 679 00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:50,000 Why do you even have to train intimacy? 680 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,040 You just stick the cudgel in, mash heartily... 681 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,560 Did you come here to fuck me in the ass? 682 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:57,840 Actually, no. 683 00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,120 I have been preparing this training for two years. 684 00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:04,680 And then some guys show up. Mocking, taunting... 685 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,640 I don't know... leering! 686 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,480 Maybe we can make things right? 687 00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:10,880 No. 688 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:13,240 You can't make it right. 689 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:14,760 I'm calling the director. 690 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:16,040 Wait a minute... 691 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:21,480 What the hell? 692 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,800 Pretty cool woman, though? 693 00:43:25,240 --> 00:43:27,120 Sorry about the confusion. 694 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,680 The manager messed up. Double booking. 695 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,120 There's no acoustics here though? 696 00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,760 If you speak loud and clear it sounds decent. 697 00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:03,400 But actually it has an underground feeling. 698 00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:12,240 Nowhereville. 699 00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:17,200 Low ceilings. Sooty walls. 700 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:19,360 Angst. 701 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,840 Thank you, thank you, ladies! 702 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,800 Give yourself a round of applause for showing up to this training! 703 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:35,280 We'd have been among the five richest nations a long time ago 704 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,000 if everyone had attended my training! 705 00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:48,320 But now: close your eyes and let's picture perfect sex. 706 00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:54,160 Did you know that foreplay can last for 72 hours? 707 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,600 Did you know that? 708 00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,880 Wait just a second. 709 00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:02,160 We will soon talk about foreplay! 710 00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:04,880 I'm hungry! 711 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,520 You're keeping an eye on the kid so she won't disappear. 712 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,560 Me? - Yes, you! I can't do everything alone! 713 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:18,440 Right... Where were we? 714 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:25,320 I asked one woman whether she knew what foreplay was. 715 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:31,160 I asked a guy during a session: what's with the nipples, right? 716 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:36,520 And he responded: "Well, we are interested in technology too!" 717 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,600 And then, in another training ― now this is related to... 718 00:45:41,240 --> 00:45:43,720 Sit, doggy! 719 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,720 A man told me an anectote... 720 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:48,280 Sit! 721 00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:52,440 So the guy is twisting those nipples again and... 722 00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:54,600 You didn't understand me? 723 00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:56,760 Sit, doggy! 724 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,160 How are you doing here? 725 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,920 Why are you holding a belt? 726 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,080 We were playing. 727 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:07,840 Playing what? 728 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,400 A dog and its master. 729 00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,160 Man, you need to get help! 730 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,240 Sorry, I... 731 00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:22,400 Let's give ourselves another big round of applause, ladies! 732 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:37,600 What was that? 733 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:38,760 You farted? 734 00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,200 That's right! 735 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:45,560 In fartology this is called 'the fart with rising harmony'! 736 00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:48,640 But now: 737 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,200 'The polyphonic fart'! 738 00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:02,400 Right? Farts are like your kids, you must love them. 739 00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:07,680 Stranger's farts or stranger's kids, now those drive you crazy! 740 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,600 Yeah, I've been admonished that lately 741 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,920 I'm circling around just one hole. 742 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,880 I should probably circle around another. 743 00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:22,760 Perhaps I should rush off to another orbit anyway. 744 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:27,320 Maybe I've been drawn too close to this black hole. 745 00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:31,720 All of the mental, all of the vital energy, everything ― 746 00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:35,320 sucked into cosmic darkness with unavoidable force. 747 00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:38,200 What's left of you then? 748 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:40,560 Depression. 749 00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:42,480 Boring! 750 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,640 Emptiness. - Pathetic! 751 00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,480 Powerlessness. Loneliness. 752 00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,400 Drinking vodka in your dark corner. 753 00:47:52,720 --> 00:47:53,720 Hello? 754 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,000 Life is so pointless you start thinking 755 00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,920 that even suicide has no meaning. 756 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,080 Hey, tell jokes! Tell actual jokes! 757 00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:06,240 And so we reach the primal philosophical question: 758 00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:07,920 existing for what? 759 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,400 For what? 760 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:12,480 Tell actual jokes! 761 00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,880 Maybe to make fart jokes! 762 00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:16,400 Yeah! - Yeah! 763 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,320 To shit and to pee? 764 00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:21,080 Alright. You want fart jokes? - Yeah! 765 00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:25,560 Your dear auntie should start her own sex therapy training. 766 00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,480 But why don't you... 767 00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:29,840 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 768 00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:31,520 Mama was hurt just now! - Forgive me. 769 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,520 Were you hurt? - Nah, he just pissed me off! 770 00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,640 Hey, dude, end of the line! Now! 771 00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,520 End of what line? - Whoa! 772 00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:40,840 Settle down now. - Guy's face is itching for a fist. 773 00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,080 What? - Don't you realize how I hard I can hit. 774 00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,640 Hey, calm down, I'm just ordering a beer. 775 00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:47,880 Wait, stay still for a moment. 776 00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,080 Listen, your face is really familiar. - Yeah. 777 00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:53,240 Tell me, how do I know you? - How should I know? 778 00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,600 How do I know you? - Wait, hey, are you that Uuspõld? 779 00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:57,840 Who? - Wait, hey, whoa! 780 00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:00,200 You're that Uuspõld, huh? 781 00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,680 I do react to that name. 782 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,280 Fuck! Uuspõld! 783 00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:08,040 I almost mashed you into jelly. Be careful! 784 00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:11,960 Uuspõld! Uuspõld, fuck! 785 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:14,640 You know what? Wait, you had that joke. 786 00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:15,760 Oh yeah! 787 00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:17,520 I don't have any... - Tell that joke! 788 00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,280 Then we're all settled. - What joke? 789 00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:20,960 That joke that you have. 790 00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:23,760 I have many jokes. - Well? 791 00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,120 When people tell you to make jokes, you make jokes! 792 00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,040 Can't you hear what you were told? 793 00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:29,440 Fuck, I'm not just saying this! 794 00:49:29,720 --> 00:49:32,000 Whoa, whoa, Kertu, take it easy! 795 00:49:32,240 --> 00:49:34,360 I am completely calm, I'm merely talking! 796 00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:37,320 Uuspõld is the king though! 797 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,280 Listen, you don't have to worry. 798 00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,560 Because my daughter is the Queen of our town. 799 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:44,560 Oh. 800 00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:47,840 A pleasure to meet you! 801 00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:52,960 Alright then. A joke! 802 00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:57,320 Uuspõld himself can't take a joke. What a guy. 803 00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:58,800 Sorry. 804 00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:00,160 I really have to be on my way. 805 00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:01,360 Stop. 806 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:04,720 You were told that you're coming along. 807 00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:05,920 So you're coming along. 808 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,080 Along? I've got my stuff to do! 809 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,040 Yeah, yeah, off we go! 810 00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:11,960 Let's pack it up. - I could come along for moment. 811 00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,240 For a moment, sure! I never take too long. 812 00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:18,840 This way! 813 00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:28,880 So where's the party? 814 00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:40,720 Our party is... 815 00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:42,720 in the pants! 816 00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,640 You know what our hobby is? 817 00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:49,560 I don't. 818 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,480 Charming the snake. 819 00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,400 Charming the snake? 820 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:01,560 FOLK CALENDAR 821 00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,280 You will now roll the cobra out. 822 00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,840 We'll charm it! 823 00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,320 I think I'm going now. - Easy! 824 00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:18,560 Stay! 825 00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,000 Take a sip! 826 00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:22,800 Relax! 827 00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:24,400 Listen! 828 00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:29,640 I am not going to drink... - Easy! 829 00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,040 Hands up! 830 00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:41,840 What's going on here? 831 00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,120 You decided to throw a party without me? 832 00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,240 No way. No way! 833 00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:53,760 Wait, are you some kind of celebrity too? 834 00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:05,640 Oh, cruel fate! 835 00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:09,960 What do you have in store for our long-suffering hero? 836 00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:15,880 If you believe the worst, you will never be disappointed! 837 00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:27,640 Damn Krõll! You said the whole of Estonia would be there 838 00:52:27,720 --> 00:52:28,840 but what did we have? 839 00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,000 Thirty bums in some shithole. 840 00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,880 Come on! That was just the start! 841 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:35,680 The next show will be fire! 842 00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:38,240 My word on it! - I've heard that before. 843 00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:41,720 And we've got a hit! "You are my friend!" 844 00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,640 "We're more than words." 845 00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:49,560 "You are my friend!" - "Friend!" 846 00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:53,560 That was awesome, huh? Guys, that was a good jam! 847 00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,480 Listen, guys, I have to confess something to you. 848 00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,240 I've never had a real friend. 849 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:02,600 Well, I did have one, but he was imaginary. 850 00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,240 He's no longer with us. 851 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,920 But jamming with you like this... 852 00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:11,160 I feel like we are a fellowship. 853 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,200 Let's bump our fists and swear to be eternally faithful! 854 00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:17,720 Eternally faithful! Jan! - Jan! 855 00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,120 Eternally faithful! - You can entertain those thoughts 856 00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,760 but do you really have to act on them? 857 00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:23,840 Hey, eternally faithful! - Get up! 858 00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,920 And remember: faithful till eternity. 859 00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:29,360 Sure. 860 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:36,000 You are my... friend. 861 00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:52,760 "Time sees us both, it does!" 862 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:56,120 Can you please stop singing all the time? 863 00:53:56,560 --> 00:53:59,800 "For time knows all!" - I want peace and quiet. 864 00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:04,000 "Time keeps friendships alive! Time sees us both, it does..." 865 00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,400 "It does! It does!" 866 00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:12,120 Jan! Why the long face? 867 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,880 Let's see if there are any mermaids here. 868 00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:16,960 I don't swim. 869 00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:18,680 Well I'm going in. 870 00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:22,200 Ponytail off! 871 00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:30,240 This is wonderful! Come on! 872 00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:31,920 I told you, I don't swim. 873 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:35,960 Look at how long I can hold breath underwater. 874 00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:12,920 Krieger? 875 00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:16,880 Krieger! 876 00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:19,960 Krõll! 877 00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:21,800 Damn it! 878 00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:24,080 What is it? 879 00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:27,440 Krieger went underwater and didn't come out again. 880 00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:33,680 Yeah, I can't see him. 881 00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,560 Damn, we should get the hell out of here. 882 00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,280 Maybe we should inform someone? 883 00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,200 No! We've got enough problems. 884 00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,800 You know, I really can't be connected to this kind of thing. 885 00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:56,680 You are already connected! You're an accomplice. 886 00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:59,040 No, I'm not! - Urmas! 887 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,480 You can't be so selfish. We've got a tour to finish. 888 00:56:02,720 --> 00:56:05,360 Yeah, but we have no Krieger. 889 00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,440 He has already been advertised, we can't somehow... 890 00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:12,960 Come on, guys, this is not a... - Arm into the sleeve! 891 00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:14,880 This is not a good idea. - The other arm! 892 00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,120 My reputation... - Your reputation only improves! 893 00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:18,520 Other arm into the sleeve now. 894 00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:20,920 And the song is prerecorded, see! 895 00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:24,080 You just move your lips. No worries. 896 00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:26,200 Everything will go great. 897 00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:28,560 Exactly! Only you'll move your lips on stage, not now. 898 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:45,600 You are my friend! 899 00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:48,640 We're more than words! 900 00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:52,120 Our word contains truth. 901 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:08,400 Yo, yo, what the fuck! 902 00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:09,720 We did it! 903 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,400 Got such an adrenaline hit, I'd like to kick something! 904 00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:26,840 You know, I'll check if anyone has commented anything on us. 905 00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:31,760 I'd like to go back on stage too. - What? 906 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,680 Yeah, I found some pretty good gags in Krieger's notebook, 907 00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:36,600 I'd crack a few nice jokes for the crowd. 908 00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:39,120 Cut it out! Everyone keeps to their own thing, alright? 909 00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:41,640 There is something! Check it out! 910 00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,360 A video. They're saying something. 911 00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:46,000 Look! 912 00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:48,720 Jan Uuspõld is making a comeback 913 00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:50,960 but the materials that have leaked from the tour 914 00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,280 lead to only one conclusion. 915 00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:55,080 A promising talent has left us 916 00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:58,280 and instead we've got a grotesque parody of himself. 917 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,000 Jan Uuspõld! - Yeah. 918 00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:03,880 At this age a man should have discovered himself already. 919 00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:06,400 Everything circles around one hole. 920 00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:07,800 This so-called humor 921 00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:11,720 is gross, low, sexist, blind by privilege. 922 00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:15,120 Jan Uuspõld, the Estonian people have only one request for you: 923 00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:17,120 don't make any jokes! 924 00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,080 You know what? 925 00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:24,600 It is written that any kind of advertising is good. 926 00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:26,160 Even bad advertising. So... 927 00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:28,640 Thanks. Thank you, Urmas! 928 00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,160 Jan Uuspõld! Where are you? We await you on stage! 929 00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:39,200 Are there any lions among us, men? 930 00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:40,280 Yeah. 931 00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,840 We've all seen these ads for the training sessions, right? 932 00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:46,600 This big-maned lion roaring: 933 00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,760 "Find your inner power!" 934 00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:51,480 But you know what the lion is actually roaring? 935 00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:52,920 Do humor! 936 00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:56,160 He's calling his mommy. - That's not funny anymore! 937 00:58:56,720 --> 00:59:01,080 The male lion is there to do only one thing to the females. 938 00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:03,680 We all know well what that is. - Not funny! 939 00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:05,160 Retire already! 940 00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:06,640 Do humor, dummy! 941 00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:09,040 What do you want then? Fart jokes? 942 00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:13,920 You want to know why women are like Formula1 races? 943 00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,200 If you want to score you have to stick close to the ass! 944 00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:19,960 Right, yeah! 945 00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:22,880 Krõll, stop it! - I'm getting the crowd started,... 946 00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:24,760 It's my stage! - Calm down! 947 00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:27,360 Why is it that middle-aged men always replace 948 00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:29,520 their women with younger ones? 949 00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:33,360 It's because the oil in the engine has to be fresh! 950 00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,120 Give me that, it's my set! 951 00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:39,880 One thing surprises me: 952 00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:43,240 I've performed for the President in the palace's Rose Garden. 953 00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:44,320 Whoa! 954 00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:46,720 I've performed at big stadiums with Genka! 955 00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:48,080 Woo, Genka! 956 00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:50,200 I have a million views on YouTube! 957 00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,920 And now I'm at country fair of the local village idiots, 958 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,200 on stage with two imbeciles! 959 00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:57,880 What does that mean? - What does 'imbecil' mean? 960 00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:00,880 Yeah? - An idiot. A cretin. 961 01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:05,040 A knucklehead. A dunce. An ignoramus. 962 01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:07,240 Pick any you like. 963 01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:09,560 That wasn't funny anymore. 964 01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:14,840 Dear Creator, please make it so that I am no longer here. 965 01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:18,720 But I'm not an imbecile, am I? 966 01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:20,840 You? No. 967 01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:23,920 No, Urmas, you are not an imbecile. 968 01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:25,680 Don't worry. 969 01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,880 You are a hopeless loser! 970 01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,400 Mom, Jan said I'm an imbecile! 971 01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:38,920 Yeah, that's what he said! 972 01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,440 Yeah! He's the one who's stupid! 973 01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:53,560 Put them away! 974 01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:09,200 BELLY-DANCING TENT 975 01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:30,320 We could establish an agency together 976 01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:32,880 and you could be our main performer - Knock, knock! 977 01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:34,360 Well, what's the situation? 978 01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:36,600 The situation is that we've got good news and bad news. 979 01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:37,760 Well? 980 01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,000 Virumaa's Fiery Ass Festival ordered the party bus. 981 01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:43,000 We'll drive there and get the party started. 982 01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:47,840 May I introduce ― this is Klarissa. Klarissa is our headline act. 983 01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:50,120 And Krõll provides the tunes. 984 01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:53,080 Wait, what? How much do they pay us at this Ass Fest then? 985 01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:54,840 That's the bad news. 986 01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:57,240 The Fiery Ass Fest is a politically correct event. 987 01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:00,640 They don't want you. 988 01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:03,520 Wait, wait. 989 01:02:04,280 --> 01:02:05,880 You planned to leave without me? 990 01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:09,600 Urmas? Krõll? 991 01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:15,240 Forgive me, I lost my shit back then, you understand? 992 01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,880 I didn't mean what I said, really! 993 01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:20,760 Listen, we're a band, right! - Yep. 994 01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:26,400 You know, Jan? 995 01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:28,160 I've been thinking about this. 996 01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,000 You and me, we've come a long way. 997 01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:34,120 We've had some great times and some not-so-great times, 998 01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:36,520 but we have somehow... 999 01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:38,280 grown apart. 1000 01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,840 I guess it's time to move on. 1001 01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,120 Separately. 1002 01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:46,280 I see. 1003 01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,240 Traitors! - Jan! 1004 01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:51,520 Forgive me! 1005 01:02:55,280 --> 01:02:57,200 It's nothing personal. 1006 01:02:57,520 --> 01:02:59,520 Just... business. 1007 01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:34,960 How are things progressing? 1008 01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:37,320 We agreed that the bank account remains in the same state as before. 1009 01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,160 That's totally in tip-top shape actually. 1010 01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:43,640 The first wagons of the money train will set off today, maybe tomorrow. 1011 01:03:43,720 --> 01:03:45,160 So, that means... 1012 01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:48,000 Wait, but you are coming home like we discussed? 1013 01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:50,400 Yeah, I'm already on my way! 1014 01:03:50,680 --> 01:03:52,680 Alright then. See you soon! 1015 01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:57,880 Again solitude is the sole companion of our hero. 1016 01:03:58,240 --> 01:03:59,920 He's defenseless. 1017 01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:01,640 Penniless. 1018 01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:03,760 Wandered off from the home path. 1019 01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:07,560 Who even needs him? 1020 01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:11,440 Where is his place in the world? 1021 01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:21,600 Mister Uuspõld! 1022 01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:23,600 Are you lost? 1023 01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:28,720 Yes. Well, not quite. 1024 01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:30,120 Hop on. 1025 01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:32,320 We'll point you in the right direction. 1026 01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:34,240 Wait, what direction? 1027 01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:39,400 Our apprentices gave us an overview of your performance. 1028 01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,000 You suit our goals. 1029 01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:46,400 What goals? - You're about to see. 1030 01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:34,160 Welcome Mister Uuspõld! 1031 01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:09,600 This place has a kind of... 1032 01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:12,920 Neo-Gothic atmosphere. 1033 01:06:14,560 --> 01:06:19,120 This game was played in 1874 by Count Berg himself. 1034 01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:22,240 The whites begin and win. 1035 01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:26,040 Let us move on. 1036 01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:33,520 All young men who stay here are connected through one thing: 1037 01:06:33,720 --> 01:06:37,880 they are all victims of anti-men abuse. 1038 01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:42,160 Here in this academy we help to re-empower the young men. 1039 01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:46,480 How do we win back the positions lost in the gender war? 1040 01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:10,160 Being a man starts with a made-up bed. 1041 01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:19,880 Mister Õun? - Yes, mister Grand Commander? 1042 01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:23,120 The edges are not symmetrical. 1043 01:07:25,760 --> 01:07:27,080 MEN'S SUMMER ACADEMY 1044 01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:45,800 What do we say? 1045 01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:49,440 Thank you, Grand Commander, for a valuable lesson! 1046 01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:52,840 Thank you, mister Õun, for accepting the lesson. 1047 01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:58,680 Jan, you do understand that our existence is in jeopardy? 1048 01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:01,560 Something must be done. 1049 01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:04,920 I wish you all the best! 1050 01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:07,080 Thank you for the wishes! 1051 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,000 Mister Uuspõld. 1052 01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:11,400 Mister Uuspõld! 1053 01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:16,640 What can I do? 1054 01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:19,640 You know how to find the path to a simple man's heart. 1055 01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:23,319 We have seen the privileged matriarchy victimize you. 1056 01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,960 You will be our spokesperson. 1057 01:08:26,399 --> 01:08:27,640 Me? 1058 01:08:29,040 --> 01:08:30,399 Spokesperson? 1059 01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:33,040 For starters, you might make a little performance. 1060 01:08:36,640 --> 01:08:38,200 What kind? 1061 01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:40,359 Witty. 1062 01:08:41,240 --> 01:08:43,439 We have complete freedom of speech here. 1063 01:08:51,439 --> 01:08:54,040 Oh. Must give it some thought. We'll see. 1064 01:08:54,479 --> 01:08:57,160 We have channels to reach our brothers in gender. 1065 01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:01,720 And we also have solid material resources. 1066 01:09:23,240 --> 01:09:24,800 Let's begin the show! 1067 01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:28,560 We got a call from a young man who is in terrible depression. 1068 01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:34,920 All the women he proposed to have turned him down! 1069 01:09:37,160 --> 01:09:41,880 What is happening in the Republic of Estonia, really? 1070 01:09:42,359 --> 01:09:45,520 I mean, women are just whoring themselves out to everyone. 1071 01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:47,560 Exactly right, you are right! 1072 01:09:47,920 --> 01:09:54,080 They don't even plan to enter the holy matrimony, right? 1073 01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:59,000 Very true! We should implement stricter measures 1074 01:09:59,080 --> 01:10:03,000 to put a stop to this perversion. 1075 01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:08,720 We should actually make a new law: 1076 01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:13,840 every man will be designated his specific wife by the state. 1077 01:10:15,880 --> 01:10:21,200 And if she resists, she will be married off by force! 1078 01:10:21,560 --> 01:10:22,960 Oh, exactly, you're right! 1079 01:10:23,040 --> 01:10:27,040 What the Estonian women are inflicting on their nation 1080 01:10:27,120 --> 01:10:29,160 is something I would call... 1081 01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:31,480 genocide! 1082 01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:34,160 It is genocide! 1083 01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:40,240 For genocide we should implement the highest degree of punishment: 1084 01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:43,320 life in prison. 1085 01:10:43,880 --> 01:10:47,600 Yes, exactly right. I would go even further than that. 1086 01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:52,080 I call for the death penalty to all Estonian women. 1087 01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:53,880 Enough! 1088 01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:55,360 You have besmirched our honor. 1089 01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:57,560 I challenge you to a duel! 1090 01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:00,480 What duel? Sorry, not interested. 1091 01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:02,800 Coward! - Slavish scum! 1092 01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:06,480 Hey, you said there was freedom of speech? 1093 01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:09,400 You know, self-irony? It's liberating, isn't it? 1094 01:11:10,120 --> 01:11:12,120 That's not self-irony. 1095 01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:14,200 That is perversion! 1096 01:11:14,440 --> 01:11:20,640 Perversion! Perversion! Perversion! 1097 01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:26,640 You are cancelled! 1098 01:11:27,560 --> 01:11:32,320 Cancelled! Cancelled! Cancelled! 1099 01:11:48,440 --> 01:11:50,040 Dylans' harmonica! 1100 01:12:46,520 --> 01:12:49,160 Like Bishop Põder says: 1101 01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:53,960 "I am a train on my way, the rails are set by stranger's hands." 1102 01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:59,240 What seems random is actually predetermined. 1103 01:13:01,440 --> 01:13:02,680 Lennon? 1104 01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:04,320 Lennon? 1105 01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:07,200 Are you Lennon? 1106 01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:09,800 The same! 1107 01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:13,360 Are you lost as well? 1108 01:13:13,920 --> 01:13:15,440 A bit. 1109 01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:17,600 Well, what's wrong? 1110 01:13:17,920 --> 01:13:19,000 I am homeless. 1111 01:13:19,320 --> 01:13:21,240 Homeless? - Yeah. 1112 01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:25,520 Well, currently I'm just unemployed but homeless is around the corner. 1113 01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:31,800 First you lose all sense of purpose, then you get depression. 1114 01:13:32,080 --> 01:13:35,520 You start drinking and then you lose your home. 1115 01:13:35,920 --> 01:13:37,960 End up on the street. 1116 01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:40,880 Soon I'll be in a tram, 1117 01:13:41,160 --> 01:13:44,440 holding a bag of empty bottles. And dried shit in my pants! 1118 01:13:49,640 --> 01:13:52,200 I'm Jan Uuspõld! 1119 01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:56,040 I'm an artist! 1120 01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,800 When you were a kid, who did you want to become? 1121 01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:03,120 An astronaut, I guess. 1122 01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:05,400 A race car driver. 1123 01:14:08,080 --> 01:14:09,800 And who did you become? 1124 01:14:10,640 --> 01:14:12,840 A comedian. - A funny guy! 1125 01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:17,200 And who do you now want to become? 1126 01:14:20,160 --> 01:14:21,800 I don't know. 1127 01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:25,160 I'd just like to go home. 1128 01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:27,480 You know what? 1129 01:14:29,320 --> 01:14:30,760 You're a thief! 1130 01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:33,120 A thief? 1131 01:14:34,920 --> 01:14:38,520 A thief who breaks into a completely empty room. 1132 01:14:38,880 --> 01:14:41,680 Where there's nothing to steal. - Okay. 1133 01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:46,680 And if there's nothing to steal, there's nothing to desire. 1134 01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:51,640 And if there's nothing to desire, there is nothing to fear. 1135 01:14:58,080 --> 01:15:01,120 Not guilty, not innocent either. 1136 01:15:02,480 --> 01:15:04,760 Only empty walls. 1137 01:15:12,120 --> 01:15:13,320 Lennon? 1138 01:15:13,440 --> 01:15:16,200 Lennon? Hey? - Huh? 1139 01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:18,920 So what am I supposed to do? 1140 01:15:20,280 --> 01:15:21,800 I don't know what you're supposed to do, 1141 01:15:21,880 --> 01:15:23,160 you have to ask from the Creator. 1142 01:15:23,240 --> 01:15:24,720 He's got his plan for you. 1143 01:15:24,880 --> 01:15:26,240 What plan? 1144 01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:31,000 You know that yourself. 1145 01:15:48,800 --> 01:15:50,320 KERTU'S PLUMBING 1146 01:15:50,560 --> 01:15:51,880 Hey! 1147 01:15:53,560 --> 01:15:55,160 The hell you're sleeping here? 1148 01:15:56,400 --> 01:15:57,840 Fucking idiot. 1149 01:15:58,320 --> 01:16:00,960 Hey! You need to conduct a funeral service, right? 1150 01:16:01,320 --> 01:16:02,520 Get a move on! 1151 01:16:02,880 --> 01:16:06,560 He was supposed to take the bus but the bus didn't come. 1152 01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:09,080 Well, the beloved fucking artist, huh? 1153 01:16:09,240 --> 01:16:11,400 Fancy seeing you here. Alright then. - Hi! 1154 01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:14,800 Right! Up and at 'em! 1155 01:16:20,920 --> 01:16:22,920 Come on, beloved artist! I'm dropping you off. 1156 01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:24,000 Where? 1157 01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:25,920 Where, where. At a place. Alright, come on. 1158 01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:29,720 Everything's fine. Hop-hop-hop. - I want to sleep! 1159 01:16:34,040 --> 01:16:36,920 Listen, Jan, I've been thinking here. 1160 01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:40,040 I'm single at the moment, right? 1161 01:16:40,440 --> 01:16:42,640 You should become my husband. 1162 01:16:42,920 --> 01:16:44,800 What? - You heard me! 1163 01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:47,280 I've got an assload of space in the house. 1164 01:16:47,360 --> 01:16:49,040 I do all the practical stuff, right. 1165 01:16:49,320 --> 01:16:52,440 You would just blooming around. A decent offer, huh? 1166 01:16:53,160 --> 01:16:56,160 That Lennon, though... isn't he your boyfriend? 1167 01:16:56,320 --> 01:16:59,000 Fuck, I like love him, but... 1168 01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:01,600 See, I need a man too, right? Get it? 1169 01:17:02,480 --> 01:17:04,320 Honestly? No. 1170 01:17:04,560 --> 01:17:06,720 Fuck ― and that's Uuspõld we're talking about. 1171 01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:08,920 Let's get the party started in bed! 1172 01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:10,080 Now you're getting it, right? 1173 01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:13,960 Well, yeah. Let's give it a thought. 1174 01:17:14,600 --> 01:17:16,520 Yeah-yeah, let's think about it. 1175 01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:23,120 Uuspõld, look! Vanemuine Theater! 1176 01:17:24,600 --> 01:17:26,840 Well, what the fuck? 1177 01:17:27,280 --> 01:17:28,320 You can't come here! 1178 01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:30,720 Fuck you, conehead, you're not telling me where I can go! 1179 01:17:30,960 --> 01:17:32,040 This is a film set. 1180 01:17:32,160 --> 01:17:33,400 What film set? 1181 01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:45,840 Right? 1182 01:17:47,840 --> 01:17:50,520 Damn it, this is exactly what is needed! 1183 01:17:50,600 --> 01:17:51,960 Exactly what is needed. 1184 01:17:52,280 --> 01:17:54,640 Folksy, simple. See, all the arcs run smoothly. 1185 01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:56,280 Exactly. Damn! 1186 01:17:56,360 --> 01:17:59,240 We no longer need screenwriters! We've got the AI! 1187 01:18:00,440 --> 01:18:02,440 If we can do it like this... Hi! - Hi. 1188 01:18:02,520 --> 01:18:03,800 Damn, and then if we can... 1189 01:18:05,160 --> 01:18:06,160 Hello. 1190 01:18:07,120 --> 01:18:08,960 What are you looking at? I came to work. 1191 01:18:09,320 --> 01:18:11,560 Right, so where do we start today? 1192 01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:12,720 What are you doing here? 1193 01:18:12,800 --> 01:18:14,280 I showed up for work, didn't I? 1194 01:18:14,520 --> 01:18:16,200 Is this the film "Jan Uuspõld Goes to Tartu?" 1195 01:18:16,280 --> 01:18:18,080 I am Jan Uuspõld, despite everything. 1196 01:18:18,400 --> 01:18:19,960 People claim I'm the main character. 1197 01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,680 Whoa, whoa! Wait, you're serious? 1198 01:18:22,840 --> 01:18:24,040 Let's get started! 1199 01:18:24,640 --> 01:18:26,040 Okay. 1200 01:18:27,120 --> 01:18:29,920 Damn, I just got an idea! Yeah, no, this is great! 1201 01:18:30,240 --> 01:18:33,280 Right, set the AI up. Send old Jan to make-up. 1202 01:18:33,480 --> 01:18:36,000 We'll talk later. Yeah! Go, go! 1203 01:18:36,480 --> 01:18:37,480 "Old Jan"... 1204 01:18:37,560 --> 01:18:39,960 Wait, am I still on the role or...? - Yeah, no worries! 1205 01:18:40,160 --> 01:18:41,640 Go and get some input from him. 1206 01:18:41,960 --> 01:18:44,200 Imitate! Or use as a prototype! 1207 01:18:44,360 --> 01:18:45,360 It's all the same! 1208 01:18:45,560 --> 01:18:48,360 Right. A park bench. The beginning. 1209 01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:54,440 Jan comes and sits down. And he sees in the distance... 1210 01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:56,760 An older man approaching. 1211 01:18:56,920 --> 01:18:59,080 A father figure. Damn it, it is his father! 1212 01:19:01,320 --> 01:19:06,320 But I'm telling you, this life here in our earthly realm 1213 01:19:06,400 --> 01:19:08,440 is like a roller coaster. 1214 01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:10,920 At times you're up, then you're down. 1215 01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:16,320 But the main thing? Do not let them break you. 1216 01:19:17,360 --> 01:19:19,960 Dad, you are so wise. - Well. 1217 01:19:20,240 --> 01:19:24,480 Son, my shoulder will always be there for you to lean on. 1218 01:19:26,240 --> 01:19:28,040 But let's skip the sentiment! 1219 01:19:28,200 --> 01:19:31,160 I've made you your favorite food! 1220 01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:35,360 Spaghetti with cheese sauce? - Spaghetti with cheese sauce! 1221 01:19:35,880 --> 01:19:37,720 Dad, you always know how to lift my mood! 1222 01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:40,040 Oh, I remember when you were young. 1223 01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:43,000 It was all like "Where's spaghetti with cheese sauce?" 1224 01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:45,000 "Where's the spaghetti?" 1225 01:19:45,280 --> 01:19:47,320 I said: "What about demolition derby?" 1226 01:19:47,400 --> 01:19:49,440 "No, I want spaghetti with cheese..." 1227 01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:52,680 What the hell? The fuck is this shit? - Stop, stop, stop! 1228 01:19:52,880 --> 01:19:55,040 What text is this? - It's not working, is it? 1229 01:19:55,480 --> 01:19:58,040 Of course it's not! You're not putting your soul into it. 1230 01:19:58,120 --> 01:19:59,120 That's the problem. 1231 01:19:59,200 --> 01:20:01,360 What soul? - The text is nice, the text is good. 1232 01:20:01,520 --> 01:20:05,120 My dad didn't talk such cheesy way. - That was written by the AI. 1233 01:20:05,280 --> 01:20:07,680 It has analyzed thousands of texts. 1234 01:20:07,800 --> 01:20:09,200 This is what works! 1235 01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:10,800 Listen, this AI knows nothing. 1236 01:20:11,040 --> 01:20:13,400 What do you think, Franz? 1237 01:20:14,600 --> 01:20:16,440 I don't know, I mean... - You don't know? 1238 01:20:16,600 --> 01:20:19,440 You don't have to be afraid, say it out loud. 1239 01:20:19,960 --> 01:20:21,480 Nah, it is kind of cheesy. - See! 1240 01:20:21,800 --> 01:20:23,560 Well, that depends on what kind of genre we're doing. 1241 01:20:23,720 --> 01:20:25,200 If it's a melodrama, I can understand it. 1242 01:20:25,280 --> 01:20:27,200 This is a comedy though, isn't it? 1243 01:20:27,360 --> 01:20:28,560 Okay! 1244 01:20:28,720 --> 01:20:29,920 Great! 1245 01:20:30,160 --> 01:20:32,080 Yeah, no, okay! Let's do your version! 1246 01:20:32,280 --> 01:20:33,280 Okay, let's do mine. 1247 01:20:33,400 --> 01:20:34,520 Yeah, yours. Yes. 1248 01:20:36,880 --> 01:20:38,800 Hi, dad! - How are things? 1249 01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:41,480 Well, I don't know. 1250 01:20:42,800 --> 01:20:44,920 I guess life has become so absurd, I just... 1251 01:20:46,600 --> 01:20:48,240 I don't know how to break through. 1252 01:20:48,320 --> 01:20:49,960 Absurdity is very difficult. 1253 01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:53,160 There are only two ways out. 1254 01:20:53,560 --> 01:20:56,080 You start drinking or you hang yourself. 1255 01:20:57,640 --> 01:21:00,280 But actually there's the third option too. 1256 01:21:00,960 --> 01:21:03,280 You kind of get to know the absurdity, 1257 01:21:03,600 --> 01:21:06,160 get used to it and start to enjoy it. 1258 01:21:07,200 --> 01:21:09,760 And then completely new perspectives open up. 1259 01:21:12,440 --> 01:21:15,040 But then again, what do I know? I'm no wise old man. 1260 01:21:15,120 --> 01:21:17,240 I'm an old fool, but... 1261 01:21:19,560 --> 01:21:21,120 So we're up for a drink? 1262 01:21:21,200 --> 01:21:23,080 Yeah, let's grab a few shots. 1263 01:21:31,800 --> 01:21:33,640 Oh, yeah! And cut. 1264 01:21:33,720 --> 01:21:35,280 Very... uhuh. 1265 01:21:38,680 --> 01:21:40,360 Yeah, yeah. 1266 01:21:47,680 --> 01:21:50,440 Well, I don't know, it seemed more authentic. 1267 01:21:53,880 --> 01:21:57,640 If it was more authentic, then... Can I make a suggestion? 1268 01:21:58,280 --> 01:22:00,000 Perhaps the script could be written by someone 1269 01:22:00,080 --> 01:22:01,760 who knows the material? 1270 01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:04,120 Not some algorithm. 1271 01:22:04,280 --> 01:22:05,720 Who then? - Yeah? 1272 01:22:05,880 --> 01:22:09,360 Well, I don't know, I'd perhaps recommend myself. 1273 01:22:10,000 --> 01:22:12,720 The guy thinks he knows himself, huh? 1274 01:22:17,440 --> 01:22:19,600 I'd certainly give the old school a chance. 1275 01:22:19,880 --> 01:22:21,840 In the sense that I don't know how much time you've got left. 1276 01:22:21,920 --> 01:22:22,920 What? 1277 01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:24,640 I don't mean that in the bad sense, I mean in the good sense. 1278 01:22:24,760 --> 01:22:25,960 Oh. 1279 01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:01,840 Today finished principal shooting of the 1280 01:23:01,920 --> 01:23:04,120 feature film "Jan Uuspõld Goes to Tartu". 1281 01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:08,840 And for this reason we must ask the film's co-writer 1282 01:23:09,480 --> 01:23:12,400 and main character's prototype Jan Uuspõld... 1283 01:23:12,560 --> 01:23:13,960 Don't be scared, it's just an interview! 1284 01:23:14,040 --> 01:23:15,240 No, I'm not scared of anything. 1285 01:23:15,360 --> 01:23:16,520 Where are you off to now? 1286 01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:18,680 Well, where else? Taking the grocery route home. 1287 01:23:18,960 --> 01:23:21,760 Have you finally found yourself then? - Well... 1288 01:23:25,640 --> 01:23:28,680 Jan, we know perfectly well that your life has many loose ends 1289 01:23:28,760 --> 01:23:30,680 you've been avoiding all the time. 1290 01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,040 But people are waiting for answers. 1291 01:23:34,320 --> 01:23:36,200 Or are you not interested in what the people think? 1292 01:23:36,880 --> 01:23:40,680 How so? I care about people. I... 1293 01:23:40,840 --> 01:23:42,560 Honestly! 1294 01:23:49,720 --> 01:23:54,440 Suddenly our hero understands he is not alone in this world. 1295 01:23:54,600 --> 01:23:57,320 He would like to make up for his seed of darkness 1296 01:23:57,400 --> 01:23:59,920 and his addiction-fueled vanity. 1297 01:24:00,200 --> 01:24:01,880 This way, this way! A little lower! 1298 01:24:02,760 --> 01:24:03,960 More sensuality! 1299 01:24:04,080 --> 01:24:06,760 But forgiveness has many facets. 1300 01:24:06,960 --> 01:24:09,240 Very good! Let's do more. Ah, very good! 1301 01:24:10,760 --> 01:24:11,760 Britta! 1302 01:24:12,360 --> 01:24:15,360 Britta, I came to tell you that... 1303 01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:20,600 I am not listening to a single word from your mouth! 1304 01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:22,800 Stand still! 1305 01:24:22,880 --> 01:24:23,880 Wow, super sexy! 1306 01:24:23,960 --> 01:24:26,000 Put your hand on your hip! Very good! 1307 01:24:26,320 --> 01:24:28,640 ‘Ive heard so many empty promises from your mouth. 1308 01:24:29,000 --> 01:24:31,400 Well, yeah, but... - What "yeah, but"? 1309 01:24:32,360 --> 01:24:33,680 You threw me into the corner, didn't you? 1310 01:24:34,240 --> 01:24:35,480 You used me. 1311 01:24:36,160 --> 01:24:38,480 If you thought I stood still and cried for you, 1312 01:24:38,560 --> 01:24:40,240 you're mistaken. 1313 01:24:40,760 --> 01:24:43,640 I've got a new lover. - You do? 1314 01:24:44,720 --> 01:24:46,640 Much better than you. Much more caring. 1315 01:24:46,720 --> 01:24:48,320 More experienced. 1316 01:24:49,720 --> 01:24:51,520 So what is he offering you then? 1317 01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:53,080 Support! 1318 01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:54,600 Look at this. 1319 01:24:54,680 --> 01:24:56,000 What's this then? - A ring. 1320 01:24:56,200 --> 01:24:58,440 A diamond with dolphins. An engagement ring. 1321 01:24:58,560 --> 01:24:59,640 Amazing. 1322 01:25:00,040 --> 01:25:01,960 Sixty grand! - Awesome! 1323 01:25:02,200 --> 01:25:04,160 Awesome whales. 1324 01:25:04,720 --> 01:25:06,640 Here he comes! - Hi! 1325 01:25:06,840 --> 01:25:09,360 Oleg! - Hey-hey, honey! 1326 01:25:09,440 --> 01:25:10,880 My prince. 1327 01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:13,600 Is he wearing my jacket? 1328 01:25:14,160 --> 01:25:15,960 You're the one who left your stuff lying around. 1329 01:25:16,240 --> 01:25:19,160 This guy just steals my jacket? 1330 01:25:33,160 --> 01:25:35,120 Fuck, damn! 1331 01:25:43,320 --> 01:25:45,840 It's me! You're biggest fan ever! 1332 01:25:46,080 --> 01:25:48,120 Hello, Jan! - Thanks. 1333 01:25:48,720 --> 01:25:51,040 Don't you like me? - No, I do. 1334 01:25:51,200 --> 01:25:54,880 Alright, calm down. Calm down. - Every word has its moment. 1335 01:25:55,440 --> 01:25:57,080 Once that moment has passed, 1336 01:25:57,160 --> 01:26:00,240 words dissolve on the lips like tears in the rain. 1337 01:26:03,880 --> 01:26:04,880 Jan! 1338 01:26:08,720 --> 01:26:09,720 Thanks! 1339 01:26:09,840 --> 01:26:11,520 You wanted to say something earlier? 1340 01:26:14,920 --> 01:26:16,520 Yeah, I did. 1341 01:26:17,600 --> 01:26:19,760 You're up there. I'm down here. 1342 01:26:20,160 --> 01:26:21,800 We will never be truly together. 1343 01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:26,760 It's like everyone is tearing us into different directions. 1344 01:26:26,840 --> 01:26:28,360 You and me. 1345 01:26:30,200 --> 01:26:31,280 But... 1346 01:26:33,480 --> 01:26:36,200 You left a beautiful feeling inside me. 1347 01:26:38,400 --> 01:26:40,120 Forever. 1348 01:26:40,280 --> 01:26:42,640 You left it inside me too. 1349 01:26:43,080 --> 01:26:45,680 Even though you're a complete prick! 1350 01:26:49,800 --> 01:26:51,920 Nothing is the real end. 1351 01:26:52,440 --> 01:26:54,080 Paths fade into grass. 1352 01:26:54,440 --> 01:26:56,280 And bridges crumble. 1353 01:26:56,720 --> 01:27:01,960 But somewhere might be a door that is ajar just for you. 1354 01:27:21,880 --> 01:27:23,440 Take it back. 1355 01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:25,840 You don't want this valuable instrument? 1356 01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:27,680 I don't. 1357 01:27:39,400 --> 01:27:40,680 Well, hello! It's me. 1358 01:27:40,960 --> 01:27:41,960 Not you. 1359 01:27:42,040 --> 01:27:43,840 I am though! See? Your eyes. 1360 01:27:44,640 --> 01:27:45,640 Yeah, they are. 1361 01:27:50,960 --> 01:27:52,640 Oh! Kristjan. 1362 01:27:54,360 --> 01:27:55,360 From the Reform Party. 1363 01:27:57,040 --> 01:27:59,240 Oh! Jan. A voter. 1364 01:28:00,480 --> 01:28:01,960 Listen, I'll be off. Bye! - Yeah, see you. 1365 01:28:02,040 --> 01:28:03,040 Ciao! 1366 01:28:05,120 --> 01:28:06,600 A new permanent relationship, huh? 1367 01:28:07,320 --> 01:28:09,320 The usual Tinder guy. 1368 01:28:11,480 --> 01:28:15,040 In that case... I almost forgot. 1369 01:28:15,640 --> 01:28:17,520 Please accept this. 1370 01:28:20,120 --> 01:28:21,400 What is this? 1371 01:28:21,840 --> 01:28:24,560 Please accept this as a kind of investment from me. 1372 01:28:25,320 --> 01:28:27,840 You've got a beautiful home, you don't have to lose it. 1373 01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:30,440 And I can profit from this too. 1374 01:28:31,040 --> 01:28:32,680 When I'm thrown out of my own home again, 1375 01:28:32,760 --> 01:28:34,640 I've got a couch to crash on. 1376 01:28:34,840 --> 01:28:36,240 Win-win! 1377 01:28:43,640 --> 01:28:48,240 Thus the young gentleman has reached the final stretch of his odyssey. 1378 01:28:48,760 --> 01:28:53,680 But our hero must still face the ultimate test. 1379 01:28:54,720 --> 01:28:59,600 Suddenly he feels bouts of heat and cold penetrating him. 1380 01:28:59,800 --> 01:29:03,920 And his feet start taking him in one direction. 1381 01:29:05,960 --> 01:29:08,240 The young gentleman looks around ― 1382 01:29:08,320 --> 01:29:12,120 it's not that something is wrong, but still... 1383 01:29:15,400 --> 01:29:17,840 There is a door. 1384 01:29:19,360 --> 01:29:22,000 It pulls the young gentleman closer. 1385 01:29:22,360 --> 01:29:24,320 And what does he see? 1386 01:29:24,920 --> 01:29:26,800 There sits a man. 1387 01:29:27,120 --> 01:29:29,040 Slightly overweight. 1388 01:29:29,200 --> 01:29:31,200 With gray hair and a gray beard. 1389 01:29:31,400 --> 01:29:33,880 Reading something into the microphone. 1390 01:29:35,120 --> 01:29:38,120 His interest in this is great indeed. 1391 01:29:38,760 --> 01:29:42,440 Sorry, what is this? 1392 01:29:43,360 --> 01:29:46,760 Jan? I don't understand ― why did you come here? 1393 01:29:46,960 --> 01:29:48,520 Who? Me? 1394 01:29:48,880 --> 01:29:50,800 What are you reading about me here? 1395 01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:53,960 Oh, that's just an odd job. 1396 01:29:54,280 --> 01:29:57,600 Hey, Koit! You're recording, right? Let's continue. 1397 01:29:57,720 --> 01:30:01,400 Who are you anyway? - I'm Indrek. Creator. 1398 01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:04,040 Creator?! - Yeah. 1399 01:30:06,520 --> 01:30:09,240 "The young gentleman does not yet know 1400 01:30:09,320 --> 01:30:11,600 that misery and woe will break his suffering spine..." 1401 01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:14,640 What bullshit is this? - Hey, I don't write these. 1402 01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:17,040 They're sent from above. - From above? 1403 01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:18,240 Yeah. 1404 01:30:18,320 --> 01:30:20,480 What have I done to deserve this kind of shit 1405 01:30:20,560 --> 01:30:21,960 piled onto me all the time? 1406 01:30:22,200 --> 01:30:24,320 I have nothing against you. 1407 01:30:24,520 --> 01:30:27,880 Then maybe you can read something normal happening to me? 1408 01:30:28,040 --> 01:30:30,120 I would do that, but you've got to understand: 1409 01:30:30,800 --> 01:30:34,280 the client has confirmed this text and all this bullshit, right... 1410 01:30:34,600 --> 01:30:38,080 Fuck, the agency is on my back. - What agency? 1411 01:30:38,320 --> 01:30:41,840 Well, they pay me nicely... How should I know what agency? 1412 01:31:01,000 --> 01:31:02,600 I'll see what I can do. 1413 01:31:02,920 --> 01:31:04,440 But I can't promise anything. 1414 01:31:04,680 --> 01:31:06,200 Thanks! - Okay. 1415 01:31:07,400 --> 01:31:09,480 Oh, Jan! Hey... 1416 01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:12,720 You're not going drinking, are you? 1417 01:31:13,360 --> 01:31:18,440 What? No, no, I... I'll take the grocery route home. 1418 01:31:18,920 --> 01:31:19,920 Home? 1419 01:31:22,160 --> 01:31:23,720 Unbelievable! The bar code is in the wrong spot. 1420 01:31:23,800 --> 01:31:24,840 Should be here! 1421 01:31:26,040 --> 01:31:28,080 Sir, please! This way! - Me? 1422 01:31:28,160 --> 01:31:29,720 Come on! 1423 01:31:31,960 --> 01:31:32,960 Hi! - Hi! 1424 01:31:35,760 --> 01:31:37,640 The wind is turning! 1425 01:31:37,720 --> 01:31:42,720 If you have found the right way up, then all gates will open 1426 01:31:42,800 --> 01:31:44,160 ...and hearts. 1427 01:31:44,320 --> 01:31:46,200 Goodbye, young man! 1428 01:31:46,400 --> 01:31:48,360 Perhaps we will meet again someday. 1429 01:32:13,280 --> 01:32:15,200 Hey, thanks for picking me up. - Where are you going anyway? 1430 01:32:15,360 --> 01:32:17,280 I want to go home. - Go home? 1431 01:32:17,400 --> 01:32:18,760 Pretty much right now. - Why go home? 1432 01:32:18,840 --> 01:32:20,240 You're an actor, damn it. 1433 01:32:20,320 --> 01:32:22,640 Find the excuses. Let's get this party started! 1434 01:32:23,240 --> 01:32:25,080 Well, I did promise to go home, but wait. 1435 01:32:25,200 --> 01:32:27,600 Give me a minute. I'll dwell on this. 1436 01:32:27,680 --> 01:32:30,560 Think about what? You live in that piece of condo. 1437 01:32:30,640 --> 01:32:33,520 You've got a nagging wife there, unpaid bills... 1438 01:33:23,480 --> 01:33:24,800 Hi! - Hi! 1439 01:33:24,880 --> 01:33:27,840 What's with the knocking? Get in, it's your home! 1440 01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:30,280 Yeah, sorry. 1441 01:33:30,360 --> 01:33:33,800 Wait, wait! Shoes off, I just washed the floor. 1442 01:33:33,880 --> 01:33:35,600 Oh, sorry. 1443 01:33:36,280 --> 01:33:37,960 Did you go to the store? - I did. 1444 01:33:38,080 --> 01:33:40,320 Did you bring white chocolate? 1445 01:33:40,520 --> 01:33:42,800 White chocolate? Was there a shopping list? 1446 01:33:42,920 --> 01:33:44,880 You can't think for yourself? - Of course I can. 1447 01:33:46,720 --> 01:33:48,680 I mean... Maybe I can't. 1448 01:33:49,520 --> 01:33:51,040 I brought chickpeas 1449 01:33:51,280 --> 01:33:54,800 Alright, but close the door. It's drafty. 1450 01:34:25,320 --> 01:34:29,160 Damn it, where is everyone? I just broke the record! 1451 01:34:30,000 --> 01:34:34,720 Jan? Urmas? Krõll? 1452 01:34:37,400 --> 01:34:39,800 Hello. - Hey, Arvo. 1453 01:34:40,840 --> 01:34:43,240 The invoice... It's still unpaid. 1454 01:34:43,440 --> 01:34:46,400 Wait, you seriously come here with this right now? 1455 01:34:46,560 --> 01:34:49,840 Damn it! You know, I've told you my money has been 1456 01:34:49,920 --> 01:34:51,640 frozen in Moscow since the start of the war! 1457 01:34:51,720 --> 01:34:52,720 What am I going to do, 1458 01:34:52,800 --> 01:34:53,840 where am I going to get money right now? 1459 01:34:54,040 --> 01:34:57,280 This is why I'm busting my balls to get all the bills paid! 1460 01:34:57,400 --> 01:34:58,520 I have one family here, 1461 01:34:58,600 --> 01:35:01,000 another in Moscow, a third one in... Fuck! 1462 01:35:01,160 --> 01:35:03,520 Fuck this, I've had enough! Shit! 1463 01:35:04,360 --> 01:35:08,520 Damn it, don't take this personally. Sorry. 1464 01:35:17,000 --> 01:35:18,040 Hello? 100592