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1
00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:07,917
- Oliver.
2
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,187
Would you like to play Monopoly?
3
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:12,289
- No, no thanks.
4
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:14,992
- Is it all right
if I play alone?
5
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:16,348
- I'd prefer it.
6
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,002
Lisa will ya throw the dice?
7
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,269
- I thought you were reading.
8
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:27,626
- I'm trying to.
9
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000
- Big eight.
10
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:36,246
- Good.
11
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:39,016
- One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
12
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,717
- Ah, Lisa do ya...
13
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,685
- I landed on Park Place.
14
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,588
Is that a good neighborhood?
15
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:46,723
- I don't know.
16
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,725
- Do you think I
ought to buy it?
17
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,127
- Yes, buy it.
18
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,151
- They want $350 for it.
19
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:57,222
Do you have change
for a 500-dollar bill?
20
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,405
You didn't like the article?
21
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,507
- I would have if I
could've finished it.
22
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:04,941
- What was it about?
23
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:07,244
- Organic farming.
24
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,478
- What's that?
25
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,946
- It's a method
of growing things.
26
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:12,149
You see, instead of
using artificial fertilizers
27
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,851
and insecticides
you use natural...
28
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:18,088
- You don't have
change for $500?
29
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,256
- No.
30
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,857
- That article
sounds pretty dull.
31
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,393
No wonder you threw it away.
32
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,894
- I happen to be
interested in it.
33
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,930
In fact, I've been thinking
of going to state college
34
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,865
and taking a course in it.
35
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:30,567
It'll only be a couple
of nights a week.
36
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:33,070
- And what am I supposed
to do while you're doing that?
37
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,405
- It wouldn't be a bad idea if
you came to school with me.
38
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,573
Took a course yourself.
39
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,941
- In what?
40
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,109
- I don't know.
41
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:39,909
They have a lot of
courses, I'm sure you'll
42
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,411
find something you like.
43
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,549
- Well, it might be nice to
be college kids together.
44
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:46,573
- Fine.
45
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,219
- Where do you
think you're going?
46
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,187
- To bed.
47
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,455
- Well, it's all right with me,
48
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,022
but I don't think the
dean allows boys
49
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,658
into the girls' room
after 10 o'clock.
50
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,883
♪ Green Acres is the place to be
51
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:24,954
♪ Farm living is the life for me
52
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,925
♪ Land spreadin'
out so far and wide
53
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:33,029
♪ Keep Manhattan just
give me that countryside
54
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:37,066
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
55
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:41,138
♪ I get allergic smelling hay
56
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:44,941
♪ I just adore a penthouse view
57
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:49,134
♪ Darlin' I love you
but give me Park Avenue
58
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:56,219
♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air
59
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:59,022
♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife
60
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,823
♪ Goodbye city life
61
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:04,983
♪ Green Acres we are there ♪
62
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:24,681
- Oh, how do you do?
63
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,082
- Oh, how do you do?
64
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,450
May I help you?
65
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:28,685
- Yes...
66
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:29,952
- We'd like to go
to college together.
67
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,221
- Well, that's very nice.
68
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,755
- We are married,
is that all right?
69
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:35,659
- Oh, yes this is a
co-educational school.
70
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,194
- What does that mean?
71
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,729
- That men and
women attend together.
72
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,632
- Attend to what together?
73
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,234
- What course are
you interested in?
74
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:48,405
- Well, he wants organics,
but I don't think I like that.
75
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,806
- Organic farming.
76
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,575
- Oh yes, we have
a course in that,
77
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,510
but I believe it's filled.
78
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,512
- Filled with what?
79
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:56,746
- Lisa.
80
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,014
- Why don't you check
with the instructor,
81
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,383
he's right down
the hall in room 221.
82
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:03,220
- One more room and would've
had his own television show.
83
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:07,357
- Lisa, why don't you pick
out a course for yourself.
84
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:08,980
I'll see you later.
85
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,330
- Now, what course
are you interested in?
86
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:14,598
- What have you got?
87
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,299
- Oh, we have a long
list to choose from.
88
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:18,089
- May I see the menu?
89
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,071
- Don't you mean the curriculum?
90
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,928
- What's a curricumum?
91
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,376
- Here's the menu.
92
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,478
- Thank you.
93
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,013
Accounting, agriculture.
94
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:32,315
What is this one?
95
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:33,883
Archieology.
96
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,017
- Archeology.
97
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,375
The H is silent.
98
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:40,790
- Then, what did
they put it in for?
99
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,059
- Would you be
interested in a language?
100
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,628
- What language?
101
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:47,586
- How about
English, for a starter?
102
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,900
- I'd rather take
something I don't know.
103
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:56,640
- May I suggest something
simple like pottery?
104
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:57,874
- That might be fun.
105
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,376
- Good.
106
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,101
Now, if you'll please fill
out this registration form.
107
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,017
- Well, how did you do?
108
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,218
- I'm in pottery.
109
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,052
- Oh, good.
110
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:11,588
- How did you make out?
111
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,390
- They were able to
take me in the class.
112
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,325
I go every Tuesday and Thursday.
113
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,760
- That's a coincidental.
114
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:20,619
I'm going on Mondays,
Wednesdays, and Fridays.
115
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,634
- Look, the idea was
that we would go together.
116
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,703
- Why don't you change
your organics to Tuesdays
117
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,571
and Thursdays?
118
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:31,508
- Well, they can't change my...
119
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:34,043
Hey look, you change
your course, huh?
120
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,067
- Very well.
121
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,715
Hello there.
122
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,049
- Any problem?
123
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,484
- Just one.
124
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,520
You know the pottery on
Monday, Wednesday and Friday?
125
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:44,454
- Yes.
126
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:45,855
- Make it Tuesday and Thursday.
127
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,157
- I'm sorry we don't
have a pottery class
128
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,793
on Tuesday and Thursday.
129
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:52,529
- Then why did you
suggest I take it?
130
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,730
- Well, I thought...
131
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:54,997
- Just pick out
another course, huh.
132
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,301
- Just when I was
doing so good in pottery.
133
00:05:58,325 --> 00:06:00,370
What have you got on
Tuesdays and Thursdays?
134
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:01,904
- We have several courses.
135
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:04,162
- May I see the menu again?
136
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,013
Is this one a Tuesday
and Thursday?
137
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,450
- Well, yes but...
- I'll take it.
138
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,539
- Psychology.
139
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,620
Of all the subjects to pick.
140
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,288
- What's wrong with it?
141
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,190
- It happens to
be very difficult.
142
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:25,161
- Well, it may be for
you, but it's not for me.
143
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,396
- Oh?
144
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,030
- I was one of the
few girls in Hungary
145
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,433
who understood
Einstein's theory.
146
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:34,070
- Mm-hm, and what
was Einstein's theory?
147
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,139
- Well, Einstein figured
that if he could get a girl
148
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,842
alone with a bottle of wine...
149
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,844
- What Einstein are
you talking about?
150
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:43,813
- Boris Einstein, the
Wolf of Budapest.
151
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,249
- Lisa...
152
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:49,218
- Well, I see you
college kids are home.
153
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,553
How was class?
154
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:51,888
- Oh class didn't start yet.
155
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,557
- No, we just registrared.
156
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,426
- Did you get your
course in organic farming?
157
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:57,494
- Yes.
158
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,928
- Good.
159
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,330
Now, you'll have a new
method of ruining your farm.
160
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,499
- Eb...
161
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,533
- What are you
taking Mrs. Douglas?
162
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,001
- Psychology.
163
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,035
- What's psychology?
164
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,605
- Tuesdays and Thursdays.
165
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:12,275
- It's the study of how
the human mind works.
166
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:16,446
- Golly, I'd be fascinated
to know how mine works.
167
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,947
- I don't think it does.
168
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,284
- Boy, one day in
college and you're puttin'
169
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:22,786
down the little people.
170
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:23,720
- Look Eb...
171
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:24,987
- Well, I'll tell you something,
172
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,856
it's us working class
that makes it possible
173
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,692
for you idle rich
to go to college.
174
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,160
- Idle rich?
175
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,262
- We sweat and toil to
pay the taxes to send
176
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,264
you to college,
and what do you do
177
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,568
eat goldfish and
have panty raids.
178
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:39,969
- What's a panty raids?
179
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,471
- Never mind, never mind.
180
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,940
How about trying a little
work in the corn field?
181
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,442
- I have and I don't like it.
182
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,643
- The corn field!
183
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,210
- Yes, sir.
184
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:49,045
- Oliver.
185
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:49,979
- Yes.
186
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,481
- I'm glad I took up psychology.
187
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:52,415
- Why?
188
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,783
- I'll be able to find out why
189
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,475
you're always yelling at people.
190
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,931
- And that, roughly, is
what we'll cover this term.
191
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,265
Any questions?
192
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,467
- I have one.
193
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:11,400
- Yes.
194
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,969
- Has anybody seen my lipstick?
195
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,606
- Do you mind...
- Oh, I found it.
196
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,875
You can go ahead now.
197
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:19,899
- Thank you.
198
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:25,336
Well, to start with let me
explain the term psychology.
199
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:28,551
I'm sure you're all
familiar with this word.
200
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:29,719
- I'm not.
201
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,242
What's pusheeshee?
202
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:33,923
- It's pronounced Psyche.
203
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,057
The P is silent.
204
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,749
- Oh, like the H in archieology?
205
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,498
- Archie yes, yes, yes.
206
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:44,534
Well, as I was saying
about the word pusheeshee.
207
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,558
Psyche.
208
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:50,974
It's from the Greek meaning
the soul or the human spirit.
209
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:54,110
Therefore, in a broad
sense, psychology is the study
210
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,178
of the inner self.
211
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,580
We'll be going into
this more specifically,
212
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,415
studying many
theories, such as Freud's,
213
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,317
that all our drives
are sex-oriented.
214
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:04,186
- I didn't know this class
was going to be about
215
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,276
Oriental sex.
216
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,559
- Look, Miss...
- It's Missus.
217
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,227
I'm here with my husband.
218
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:14,430
He's down the hall in organics.
219
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,667
- May I ask what made
you pick psychology?
220
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,569
- Well, I was in pottery,
221
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,704
but that was Monday,
Wednesday, and Friday,
222
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,573
and I needed a
Tuesday and Thursday,
223
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:24,696
so here I am.
224
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,166
- Yes, yes, you are.
225
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,382
Well, let's get started I'd
advise you all to take notes.
226
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,584
Do you all have pencils?
227
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:37,453
- Is it okay to use
a ballpoint pen?
228
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,477
- Yes, yes.
229
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,979
- I haven't got one.
230
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,392
Could I use yours?
231
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:49,131
How do you like
the organics so far?
232
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,321
- Fascinating.
233
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,703
- When are you
going to start doing it?
234
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,104
- Well, I've only
had one lesson.
235
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,273
It's a very involved subject.
236
00:09:57,297 --> 00:10:00,043
- You want me to help
you with your homework?
237
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,310
- No thanks.
238
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,980
- Do you mind if I study
my psychology with you?
239
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,315
- No, as long as
you do it quietly.
240
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,339
- Yes, sir.
241
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,129
- What's all that?
242
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,098
- My psychology books.
243
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,332
- Why did you buy so many?
244
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,167
- The professor said
that we need all these
245
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:28,037
for the six years course.
246
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,061
- Six years?
247
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,976
You'll be lucky if you last...
248
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,644
Just read, huh.
249
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,745
- Yes, sir.
250
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,202
Basic psychology chapter one.
251
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:43,352
Psychology is the study of
the human mind, and how...
252
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,044
- Lisa, please read to yourself.
253
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:47,880
- Yes, sir.
254
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,189
Well, I finished this one.
255
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,336
- You finished it?
256
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,270
- How could you?
257
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,505
I'm only on chapter three.
258
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,675
- Oh, you're one
of the slow readers.
259
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:07,777
- No, I'm not a...
- I'm a fast reader.
260
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,701
I have a retarded mind.
261
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,104
- Retentive.
262
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:16,686
No, I guess you're
right in the first place.
263
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,543
- Now, for number two.
264
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,746
Advanced psychology.
265
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,615
- Advanced psycho...
266
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:26,919
Oh, fine.
267
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:37,361
- Bed spring.
268
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:39,642
- What?
269
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,977
- Bed spring.
270
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:41,978
- Bed spring.
271
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,546
- Wrong.
272
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,214
- What are you talking about?
273
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:48,184
- Well, this is a chapter
on free association.
274
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,219
That's where I say one word,
275
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,889
and you're supposed to
answer with another word.
276
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,423
- Yes, I know what that means.
277
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,860
- Then, how come you didn't
know the answer to bed spring?
278
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,362
- I guess I'm not too bright.
279
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,264
- I'll give you one more chance.
280
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,701
- I don't want one more chance.
281
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,569
- It's all right with
me if you want to be
282
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:09,072
a middle-class dummy
the rest of your life.
283
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,981
- Would you mind helping me?
284
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,217
- I'm not in any mood to work.
285
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,087
Darlene and I had a fight
and she's not talkin' to me.
286
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:24,921
- Smart girl.
287
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,422
Now, get to work.
288
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:27,446
- Okay.
289
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,161
Before I start,
what are we doing?
290
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,796
- I'm gonna try a
little organic farming.
291
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,398
The textbook, here,
shows you how to conduct
292
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,600
a field experiment.
293
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,435
After turning over the earth...
294
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,437
- You're only on chapter seven?
295
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,939
- That's right.
296
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:45,942
- Mrs. Douglas has finished
her fifth psychology book.
297
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,176
- Yes, I know.
298
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,778
- Well, I guess we
have one honor student
299
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:51,313
and one middle-class
dummy in the family.
300
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,216
- Just turn the
earth over, will you?
301
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,683
- Yes, sir.
302
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:55,918
- Hello dear.
303
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,186
What are you doing?
304
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,487
- We're having a
field experiment.
305
00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,989
- What's that?
306
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,053
- Well, that's where he
reads and I do all the work.
307
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,261
- I'm trying a little
organic farming.
308
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,428
- Oh?
309
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,953
You're still on chapter seven?
310
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:11,100
- Lisa, would you...
311
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,601
- Could you do me a favor?
312
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,836
- What?
313
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,404
- Would you drive
me into the college,
314
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,840
I need some more
psychology books.
315
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,541
- Oh Lisa, you
don't need anymore.
316
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,043
- I'll drive you in.
317
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,813
Then, I can stop by Darlene's
and try to patch things up.
318
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:24,981
- Oh?
319
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:28,217
You're having
trouble with Darlene?
320
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,485
What's your problem?
321
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,020
- I think she got mad
because I took my frog
322
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,722
to the football game with
me, and I didn't take her.
323
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,692
- I can see where that would...
324
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:40,930
- Please, this is a
problem for a trained mind.
325
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:45,034
- Oh, why don't you give
him the bed spring test.
326
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:45,868
- Bed spring?
327
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,170
- Mattress.
328
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:50,306
- You see, there is
nothing wrong with me.
329
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,708
Now, back to your
problem with Darlene.
330
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,710
You see, you have
to understand the way
331
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:57,013
the female mind works.
332
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,281
Now, the female mind...
333
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,582
- Lisa, you've had three
lessons in psychology
334
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:01,851
you're not qualified.
335
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,442
- Please, we're in consolation.
336
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:08,324
- I believe the
word is consultation.
337
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,193
- How many psychology
books have you read?
338
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,393
- None.
339
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,995
- Let's get on with
the consolation.
340
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,866
- Now, back to your
problem with Darlene.
341
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,302
She probably didn't
want to go to the football
342
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,204
game with you
in the first place,
343
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:24,307
until you mentioned that you
were going to take your frog.
344
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,275
Which was a blow to her ego.
345
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,544
Now, if you had
asked her first to go,
346
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,413
she would've said go
ahead take the frog,
347
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:34,583
and you would've been
good friends forever.
348
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:35,607
- Golly.
349
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,855
You sure learn psychology fast.
350
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:42,825
I wish I had a
retarded mind like you.
351
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,061
- With a little effort, you can.
352
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:52,835
- Mr. Kimball.
353
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,359
- Oh, you're home.
354
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:56,795
Mr. Douglas!
355
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,613
- Mr. Kimball.
356
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,615
- Oh, you're in there.
357
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,441
Mr. Douglas?
358
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,623
- Mr. Kimball.
359
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:17,260
- Just a minute,
I'm looking for Mr.
360
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,560
Oh, there you are.
361
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,529
- Yes, what can I do for you?
362
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:21,697
- What can I do for ya?
363
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:22,531
Gee, I don't know.
364
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,100
What's your problem?
365
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,567
- Well, I don't have a problem.
366
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:29,405
Oh, I didn't have one
till you showed up.
367
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,672
- Well, I have a problem.
368
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:31,774
I thought you might
be able to help me since
369
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,575
you're taking psychology.
370
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,744
- Oh no, my wife is
taking psychology.
371
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,413
- Oh, you're both
taking it, huh?
372
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,881
Oh that's a good idea.
373
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:41,583
That way you can find out
what's wrong with each other, huh?
374
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,751
- Mr. Kimball, I...
375
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,653
- Shall we start the analysis?
376
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,822
I suppose you want me to
lie down on the couch, huh?
377
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,091
- No, I...
378
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,293
- So, you don't
have a couch, huh?
379
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:52,383
Well, I guess this'll do.
380
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:57,366
- Mr. Kimball, c'mon
get off of there.
381
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:59,735
- What's the matter,
isn't a bed official?
382
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,471
- Mr. Kimball may I
explain something to you?
383
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,906
- How can you explain
something when you don't
384
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,642
even know what my problem is?
385
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:09,145
- All right, what's
your problem?
386
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:10,947
- Well, I have
this mental block.
387
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,148
Well, it's not a block.
388
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,116
I mean, you don't
build things with it.
389
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,573
It's more of a...
390
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:17,719
No, it's not that either.
391
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,221
It's a...
392
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:22,680
Well, I keep thinking
of this horrible...
393
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,684
- This horrible what?
394
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,731
- Well, how do you like that.
395
00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:31,233
It's gone.
396
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:32,468
Boy, you're amazing.
397
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,670
One treatment and you cured me.
398
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:35,838
- I didn't...
399
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,542
- You got a great
future as a psychologist.
400
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:41,010
- No, Mr. Kimball I
am not a psychologist.
401
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,645
It's my wife who's
taking psychology.
402
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,047
- Well, you be
sure to thank her.
403
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,349
She saved my life.
404
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,555
- Where's Mrs. Douglas,
I wanna thank her.
405
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:54,390
- For what?
406
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,025
- She saved my romance.
407
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:59,028
Thanks to her advice, Darlene
and I are back together again.
408
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:02,064
Boy, she's a great
psychoanalyst.
409
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:04,733
- She's not a psychoanalyst.
410
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,268
- Then, what is she?
411
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:08,137
- I've often wondered
the same thing.
412
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,050
Hi.
413
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,485
- Oh hello there.
414
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,320
How's the new farming coming?
415
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,921
- Oh fine, fine.
416
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,923
- I'm studying
for class tonight.
417
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,525
- I thought you'd
read all those books.
418
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,027
- These are new ones.
419
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,962
They're on abnormal psychology.
420
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,298
- You're not ready
for anything like that.
421
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:38,300
You don't even know
basic psychology.
422
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:42,004
- Then, how come I
saved Eb's romance?
423
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,139
- Oh, you didn't.
424
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,573
- And what about Mr. Kimball,
425
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,364
I solved his problem.
426
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,977
- You didn't solve it.
427
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:53,282
- He doesn't see that horrible
thing anymore, does he?
428
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,084
- You had nothing to...
429
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:56,452
Look, this is
getting ridiculous.
430
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,754
First, you got people
believing you're a psychologist,
431
00:17:58,778 --> 00:17:59,988
and then, a psychoanalyst.
432
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,190
The next thing you
know, somebody will
433
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,525
be calling you a psychiatrist.
434
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,302
Oh, Mr. Ziffel.
435
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,770
- Is the doctor home?
436
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,505
- The doctor?
437
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,940
- Oh, there you are, doctor.
438
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:20,242
- Oh, hello there, Mr. Ziffel.
439
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,577
Hello Arnold.
440
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:26,148
- I come over to see you
about a problem, doctor.
441
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,550
- Oh, I'll be glad to help you.
442
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:28,684
What's wrong?
443
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:29,885
- Well, you see, doctor...
444
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,421
- Will you stop
calling her doctor.
445
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,557
- Well, what else would
you call psychiatrist?
446
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,128
- She is not a psychiatrist.
447
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,430
- Well, she saved Eb's
romance, didn't she?
448
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,600
Oh, that was...
449
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,803
- Arnold says she saved
Hank Kimball's life, too.
450
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,338
- She didn't save his life.
451
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,409
- Oh, don't pay no
attention to him, Arnold.
452
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,744
He just sore because
he ain't doin' too good
453
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,879
with his own studies.
454
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,815
- I'm doing fine.
455
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,049
- Oh yeah?
456
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:02,833
Well, how come you're
still on chapter seven?
457
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,589
- What is your
problem, Mr. Ziffel?
458
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:09,091
- Well, doctor, it
really ain't my problem.
459
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,659
It's Arnold's.
460
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,028
He's been very depressed lately.
461
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,696
- What's the trouble, Arnold?
462
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:18,967
Lie down on the couch.
463
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,173
Get off of the couch.
464
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:26,364
- Oliver, don't interfere.
465
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:33,649
All right, Arnold, start
from the beginning.
466
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,391
And then what?
467
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:55,804
- Howdy, Mr. Douglas!
468
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:57,406
- Hi, Mr. Haney.
469
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,543
- And how is the
organical farming coming?
470
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,178
- Oh, fine, fine.
471
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,913
- Well, still on
chapter seven, huh?
472
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,815
- Oh, yeah, yeah, chapter seven.
473
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,450
- Well, I wouldn't
worry about it.
474
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,541
What if you do flunk out?
475
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,788
- I'm not...
476
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,856
- It'll just be one
more failure on your
477
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,926
already impressive
list of failures.
478
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,563
- Look, I don't...
479
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:23,131
- Fortunately, you
can afford to be a loser
480
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:27,469
now that your wife is a
successful psychiatrist.
481
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,438
- She's not a psychiatrist.
482
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:33,775
- Then how come Arnold's
paying her $25 an hour?
483
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,911
- Look, Mr. Haney
you're wasting my time.
484
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,646
- Oh, then I'll be on my way,
485
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,816
soon as you give me the $200.
486
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,384
- $200?
487
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,920
- Cash is acceptable.
488
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:45,944
- For what?
489
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:47,989
- I'll show ya.
490
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:50,526
- No, no, no, no, not
on the organical, organic
491
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,882
C'mon follow me.
492
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:58,400
All right, what is it this time?
493
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,157
- Ain't she a beauty?
494
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:03,127
Your wife has good taste.
495
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:05,874
- My wife ordered this?
496
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:10,346
- Every psychiatrist
needs a prefessional couch.
497
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:11,747
- She is not a...
498
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,750
- You'll notice it's covered
with genuine unborn
499
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,352
armadilla hide.
500
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,255
- Unborn amra...
501
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,691
- And stuffed with
stay-press flamingo feathers.
502
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,594
- Now, if you'll
just get this piece
503
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,563
of junk out of here.
504
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:28,997
- Junk?
505
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:31,700
I'll have you know
this is the very couch
506
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:35,726
used by that famous
psychoanalyst Sigmund Frude.
507
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:38,707
- Sigmund Frude?
508
00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:43,078
- Or Siggy baby as Marie
Antoinette used to call him.
509
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:46,114
She was his first
patient, you know.
510
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,717
- They weren't even
around at the same time.
511
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:51,620
- Oh, they was very careful
not to be seen together,
512
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:55,813
but manys a time Siggy
psychoed Marie on this very couch.
513
00:21:58,318 --> 00:21:59,828
- Now, that's the most...
514
00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:02,931
- Now, if you'll just give
me a hand, and the $200.
515
00:22:02,955 --> 00:22:04,966
- Yeah, well take
it out of here, huh.
516
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,935
- But Mrs. Douglas ordered this.
517
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:09,638
- I'll take care
of Mrs. Douglas.
518
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:10,662
- But Mr...
519
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:14,443
Well, I'd better get this
back to the ladies' lounge
520
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:17,179
at the bus depot
before they miss it.
521
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:20,539
- Lisa!
522
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:24,687
What the...?
523
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,488
Mr. Drucker what are
you doing on my couch?
524
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:27,956
- Oh, it's not what you think.
525
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,658
We were just having a session.
526
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:31,092
Well, I mean we were...
527
00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:32,994
- Well, I was just trying
to help Mr. Drucker
528
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:34,196
with his problem.
529
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:35,997
- Yeah, she sure did help me.
530
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,165
Though when I came in here,
531
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,768
I was a bundle of
repressions and I had a
532
00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:41,937
what was that I had again?
533
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:43,505
- An Oedipus complex.
534
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:46,107
That's where you
hate your mother.
535
00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:47,543
- That's not what...
536
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:49,712
- I read that in abnormals
it was in book eight
537
00:22:49,736 --> 00:22:50,801
chapter nine.
538
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:54,216
- Lisa, you don't
have the slightest idea
539
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,751
of what you're talking about.
540
00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:57,018
- Oh no?
541
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,721
Well, how come I don't
hate my mother anymore?
542
00:22:58,745 --> 00:23:01,824
When I came in here,
I couldn't stand her.
543
00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:03,459
Your wife sure helped me.
544
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,494
- She can't help anybody.
545
00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:07,463
- She saved Arnold's
life, didn't she?
546
00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:09,164
- No, that was Arnold's romance,
547
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:11,266
it was Kimball's,
no, no, Eb's...
548
00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:13,869
- Mr. Douglas you
sound a little mixed up.
549
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:16,438
Why don't you lie down?
550
00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:18,440
- Yes, I think I
can squeeze you in
551
00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:20,141
tomorrow at two o'clock.
552
00:23:20,165 --> 00:23:22,077
- Well, that's my appointment,
553
00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:23,979
but I guess you
need it more than I do.
554
00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:27,182
- Mr. Drucker,
there aren't gonna
555
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:28,283
be any more appointments.
556
00:23:28,307 --> 00:23:29,685
This whole thing
is now finished.
557
00:23:30,543 --> 00:23:31,543
Come in!
558
00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:35,791
- Can you take
Henry now, doctor?
559
00:23:35,815 --> 00:23:37,793
- What the...
- Arnold recommended you.
560
00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:40,262
Henry has an identity problem.
561
00:23:40,286 --> 00:23:43,131
- I don't...
- He thinks he's a duck.
562
00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:49,705
- I don't think there
is anything in the book
563
00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:52,140
about a quacking goat.
564
00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:54,476
But if you would like to
lie down on the couch?
565
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:55,500
- Oh no, no!
566
00:23:58,037 --> 00:23:59,202
Out! Out! Out!
567
00:24:02,909 --> 00:24:04,386
- Wait a minute.
568
00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:05,621
- What's the matter?
569
00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:07,055
- What makes you
think that I want to sleep
570
00:24:07,079 --> 00:24:10,191
with a man who had me
disbarred from the doctor business?
571
00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:11,727
- Oh Lisa.
572
00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:13,896
You could've gotten
into a lot of trouble.
573
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:17,098
It's illegal to practice
psychiatry without a license.
574
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:19,735
- I didn't say I
was a psychiatrist.
575
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:21,470
- No, but the people
thought you were
576
00:24:21,494 --> 00:24:24,706
and they took your
cockamamie advice.
577
00:24:24,730 --> 00:24:27,543
- Does this mean the end
of my psychology course?
578
00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:29,044
- I'm afraid so.
579
00:24:29,068 --> 00:24:32,347
- And what am I supposed to
do on Tuesdays and Thursdays?
580
00:24:32,371 --> 00:24:33,482
- Take another course.
581
00:24:33,506 --> 00:24:34,950
- Like what?
582
00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,552
- Well, I don't know.
583
00:24:36,576 --> 00:24:40,255
Check the menu
there, the pamphlet.
584
00:24:40,279 --> 00:24:43,625
Now, if you don't
mind I'm going to sleep.
585
00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:44,460
- Good night, darling.
586
00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:45,549
- Good night.
587
00:24:46,919 --> 00:24:50,198
- Accounting, agriculture,
business management,
588
00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:52,289
biology, nuclear physics.
589
00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:39,236
This has been a Filmways
presentation, darling.
38389
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