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1
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,529
- Hey it's Mr. Douglas.
2
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,965
I thought he was going to a...
3
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:22,899
- Hey you're late.
4
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,334
- I'm sorry Charlie.
5
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,694
- Well I've already bough
the tickets, let's go in.
6
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:42,919
- How about that?
7
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,922
Mr. Douglas went in to
see his own live story.
8
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:07,010
♪ Green Acres is the place to be
9
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:10,980
♪ Farm living is the life for me
10
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:15,018
♪ Lands spreading
out so far and wide
11
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:19,022
♪ Keep Manhattan just
give me that country side.
12
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:23,060
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
13
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:26,963
♪ I get allergic smelling hay
14
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:31,068
♪ I just adore a penthouse view
15
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:35,260
♪ Darling I love you,
but give me Park Avenue
16
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:42,145
♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air
17
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:44,948
♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife
18
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,916
♪ Goodbye city life
19
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,542
♪ Green Acres we are there
20
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,004
- Well good morning, Eb.
21
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,461
- You poor woman.
22
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,376
- Why am I a poor woman?
23
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,345
- Because your husband.
24
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,580
Where is he?
25
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:20,317
- He's still asleep,
he came in very late.
26
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,285
- I'll bet he did.
27
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,121
- He came in exhausted.
28
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,156
- I'll bet he did.
29
00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:29,993
- Why do you keep
saying, "I'll be he did?"
30
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,595
- Because I'll bet he did.
31
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:35,064
Where did Mr. Douglas
say he went last night?
32
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,666
- To a pollution meeting.
33
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,268
- He must have been
polluted to think he could
34
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:40,003
get away with a story like that.
35
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:44,574
- Eb, are you trying
to tell me something?
36
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,510
- Well...
- Good morning.
37
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,545
- Good morning, darling, mm.
38
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,680
- You'll kiss
anybody, won't you?
39
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:51,648
- What?
40
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,416
- You're a universal smoocher!
41
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,287
- Something wrong with my
kissing my wife good morning?
42
00:02:57,311 --> 00:03:00,657
- I was thinking more about
who you kiss good night,
43
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:01,681
Mr. Devious.
44
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,550
- Devious?
45
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,231
I guess the Hooterville nutty
season has started again.
46
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,868
- I don't think it's so nutty.
47
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,304
- How was the meeting, dear?
48
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,406
- Yes, how was
the meeting, dear?
49
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,409
- Well it was about
he pollution problem...
50
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,599
- Sure it was!
51
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,346
- What are you...?
52
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,114
- Want to hear
what I did last night?
53
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,149
- No.
54
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:27,884
- I went to Pixley.
55
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:29,719
And I saw a friend of mine.
56
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,289
I should say an
ex-friend of mine.
57
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:35,880
And he wasn't alone,
if you get my meaning?
58
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,796
- Eb, if you've got
something to say
59
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,165
would you come
right out and say it?
60
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:44,967
- Don't expect me
to do your dirty work.
61
00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:46,836
Do it yourself, Mr. Devious!
62
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,411
- Well, if you've
got dirty work to do
63
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:57,514
I don't want to keep
you from it, Mr. Dubious.
64
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,912
- 40 45, 50,000.
65
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,027
Isn't it beautiful Charlie?
66
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,363
- Yeah and tax free.
67
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:16,199
Compliments of the Second
Security Bank of Boston.
68
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,401
- And all they planned
to give you for 20 years
69
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,503
of service was a watch.
70
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,206
Now I can pick my own.
71
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:26,243
That's funny.
72
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:30,012
Charlie, you're riot!
73
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:31,036
- Shut up.
74
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,817
- Well how long do
we have to stay here?
75
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,854
You said we were gonna
go to London, Paris.
76
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,922
So where do we wind up?
77
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,858
The Pixley Motel.
78
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:45,094
- We ain't moving from
here 'til things cool off.
79
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,863
Bank's don't forget
somebody who embezzles
80
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,866
$50,000 overnight you know.
81
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,669
- Gee, I'm lucky to be
married to you Charlie.
82
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:56,239
There's no other man in
the whole world like you.
83
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:59,142
- Yes sir Mr. Douglas
I said to myself,
84
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:02,412
"There's only one man
in the world like you."
85
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,814
- Whatever it
is I don't want it.
86
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:08,752
- I also said to myself, "He's
a man that needs convincing."
87
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:14,557
Are you convinced?
88
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,516
- What is that?
89
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,530
- A Pablum Picarasso.
90
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,668
- Is he any relation
to Pablo Picasso?
91
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:25,692
- Who is that?
92
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,005
- Only one of the
world's greatest painters.
93
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,140
- Did he ever do
anything as good as this?
94
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,164
Ain't that beautiful?
95
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,445
- I can't make heads or
tails out of that painting?
96
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:36,979
- Oh well that's easy enough.
97
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,881
This is the head
and this is the tail.
98
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,951
- Of what?
99
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:42,975
- A cow!
100
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:47,156
This is a true to life
portrait of Beverly
101
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,460
the renowned
tri-state milking queen.
102
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:53,530
The name of the painting
is Udderly Beverly.
103
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,666
Don't that just grab it all?
104
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,301
- Mr. Haney, will you?
105
00:05:58,325 --> 00:06:00,470
- No I know what
you're thinking.
106
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,171
- If you did you would
have been out of here
107
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,239
five minutes ago!
108
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,909
- You're thinking that
a work of art like this
109
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,578
must cost a fortune.
110
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,013
But this is your lucky day.
111
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:14,183
We're having a special
introductatory offer
112
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,709
of Pablum Picarasso's
works for only $150.
113
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,258
- Mr. Haney you have some nerve
114
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,561
to try to get $150
for a piece of junk
115
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:27,296
by an artist nobody's
ever heard of!
116
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,899
- Hello there Mr. Haney.
117
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,335
Isn't that a Pablum Picarasso?
118
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,338
- You've heard of...
119
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,006
- That's one of the most
beautiful paintings of a cow
120
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,408
I've ever seen.
121
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,845
- You can tell that's a cow?
122
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,880
- What else could it be?
123
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:47,572
- Mr. Douglas, it's all
yours for only $200.
124
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:49,442
- That's cheap.
125
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,990
- It was cheaper a minute
ago it was only $150.
126
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,892
- Yeah, but a minute
ago I didn't have
127
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,361
Mrs. Douglas' expert opinion.
128
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:02,131
Now where do you want it hung?
129
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,867
- I have several suggestions.
130
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:07,169
- Well if you don't
want it I'll guess I'll
131
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:10,640
just have to take the
Metropolitan Museum's offer.
132
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,575
You do that.
133
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,379
Oliver.
134
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,381
I think you should
have bought that.
135
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,583
- Lisa I'm trying to
fix the fuel pump.
136
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:21,751
- What's wrong with it?
137
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,119
- It doesn't work.
138
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,654
- How did you make it do that?
139
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,588
Well I...
140
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,491
- Oh, here comes Mr. Kimbell!
141
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:29,692
- Where?
142
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,528
- Oh, now I got two of them.
143
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:32,729
- Oh, you folks busy?
144
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:33,897
- Yeah.
145
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:35,765
- Mr. Douglas is
fixing his fool pump.
146
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,501
Oh.
147
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:41,270
What's wrong with
your fool pump?
148
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,439
- It doesn't work.
149
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:43,540
- Oh.
150
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,374
How'd you make it do that?
151
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,744
- I...
- No wonder it doesn't work,
152
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:48,768
it's broken.
153
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:50,814
- I know.
154
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,114
Uh, look do you
know where I could
155
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,950
get another one like this?
156
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,418
- I thought you
said it was broken?
157
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,653
- It is!
158
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,357
- Then why do you
want another one like it?
159
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,189
- Oh, you.
160
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,758
- Say, there's a store
in Pixley that has them.
161
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,392
I'd be glad to pick
one up for you.
162
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,794
- I'd appreciate that.
163
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,729
- Just let me
make a note of that.
164
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:11,623
One broken fuel
pump for Mr. Douglas.
165
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,238
- If it's all the same to
you, I'd like a new one.
166
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,140
- A new what?
167
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,943
- A new broken fuel,
168
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,011
uh, here look you
take this with you
169
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,547
and tell them you
want one just like it.
170
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,349
You think you can do that?
171
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,518
- Well, we'll know
when I get back.
172
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,752
Uh-huh.
173
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,597
- Oh, uh Mr. Douglas.
174
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,765
I hope you're not thinking
of wasting your money
175
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,400
on some cheap babble,
176
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:47,737
when you could still buy
this Pablum Picarasso
177
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,707
for only...
- Will you get out of here?
178
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,308
- But, Mr. Douglas...
179
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,077
- No my name is not
Douglas and beat it, scram!
180
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,746
- But ah...
- Get out of here!
181
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:02,351
- Oh Charlie, it's beautiful,
thank you, thank you!
182
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,687
- I'm glad you like it Blanche.
183
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,223
Come on baby, let's
get back to the motel.
184
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:12,929
- Who was that?
185
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,196
- Some nut.
186
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,465
He must have me mixed
up with somebody else.
187
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:17,299
What are you?
188
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,801
- Oh, sorry Mr. Douglas.
189
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,604
Oh, nice seeing you Mrs. uh,
190
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,806
you're not Mrs. uh...
- Uh, look fellow...
191
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,107
- Oh glad I bumped into you.
192
00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,776
Got your new fuel pump.
193
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,012
- What'd you buy a new
fuel pump for, Charlie?
194
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,947
- Uh, Charlie needed
one for his tractor.
195
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,704
Did you, Mr. Douglas?
196
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,919
- My name isn't Douglas!
197
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,254
- Well whatever it is,
you can pay me later on,
198
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,523
Mr. Douglas.
199
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:43,026
Well nice seeing you, Mrs. uh,
200
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,694
boy you're not Mrs. Uh...
201
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:45,895
- Come on Charlie.
202
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,798
- No wait Blanche,
the motel is this way.
203
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,304
- No, Mr. Haney I can't
let you hang that up
204
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,773
in the living room.
205
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:57,941
- But uh...
206
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,609
- Well Mr. Douglas
doesn't want to buy it.
207
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,210
Well I think he will.
208
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:05,314
I picked up a very convincing
sales argument in Pixley.
209
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,316
- Well you better
speak to him first.
210
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,250
- Where is he?
211
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,053
- He went to Crabwell Corners.
212
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,592
- Crabwell Corners.
213
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,493
I guess that's he would call it.
214
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,168
Mr. Douglas...
215
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:27,336
- No Mr. Haney I
haven't got time...
216
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,171
- Well, you've
changed your clothes
217
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:32,609
since I saw you in
Pixley this afternoon.
218
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,143
- I was in Crabwell Corners.
219
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,779
Of course you were.
220
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,047
- Hey will you wa...
221
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:41,239
- Shall we go in and
hang up the Picarasso?
222
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,386
- I told you I didn't
want to buy that!
223
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,956
- Yeah, but that was BC.
224
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,157
- BC?
225
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,693
Before Charlie.
226
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:51,995
- Hey look will you...?
227
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:54,497
- I'm sure that you will
find this is reasonable
228
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:58,034
as any wristwatch you could
buy in the Crabwell Corners
229
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:01,403
jewelry store in Pixley.
230
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,006
- What are you talking about?
231
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:07,276
- I think that $600
is a fair price for this.
232
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:11,580
- Not that I'm interested,
but it was $150 this morning.
233
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:15,051
- Yeah, but the more
you know about art
234
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,819
and other things
235
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,855
the more the price
keeps going up.
236
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,158
- Well I don't want it.
237
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,628
♪ Motel me pretty maiden.
238
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:26,652
- Motel me?
239
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,700
I see the word
makes you Blanche.
240
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:34,070
No pun intended Charlie.
241
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,838
- You're drunk!
242
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,473
- I wished I were.
243
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:42,211
It would blot out the memory
of what I saw in Pixley today.
244
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,146
- Uh-huh.
245
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,648
What did you see in Pixley?
246
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,316
We know, don't we?
247
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:53,556
In the meantime I'll have
this $1,000 Picarasso framed.
248
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:56,225
Or you, whichever
the case may be.
249
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:02,331
- Something strange
going on here.
250
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,667
- It's more than strange.
251
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,102
It's weird.
252
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,870
- What's weird, honey?
253
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,060
9,000, 10,000.
254
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,842
- Those two guys who
thought I was someone else.
255
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,711
Kept calling me Douglas.
256
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:16,179
- Maybe it's a trap.
257
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,468
11,000, 12,000.
258
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,249
- Only thing I can
figure is there must be
259
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:23,052
somebody around
here who looks like me!
260
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,287
- No one could
look like you Charlie.
261
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:29,380
You're the handsomest
man I know, 13,000, 14,000.
262
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,994
- Can't understand it.
263
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:36,020
- Don't worry about it,
Charlie, 15,000, 16,000.
264
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,357
17,000, 18,000.
265
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,572
- Douglas, Douglas.
266
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:44,996
- 19,000, 20,000.
267
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:47,744
- There it is.
268
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,645
Oliver Wendell Douglas.
269
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:50,835
- 21,000, 22...
270
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,382
- Will you stop counting!
271
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,374
- But Charlie!
272
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,223
- I want you to pay
this Douglas a visit.
273
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,257
- What for?
274
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,126
- Check him out.
275
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,628
If he does look like me,
276
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,296
maybe we can use him.
277
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,036
- Oh, hello there.
278
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:14,871
- Hello.
279
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,205
I hope you don't mind,
280
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:19,041
but I seem to have
lost my bearings.
281
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,476
- Ah that's too bad.
282
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,012
Do you think you lost
them around here?
283
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:27,150
- No, I mean I've lost my way.
284
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,385
I'm trying to get to
Beaver Meadow Junction.
285
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:30,820
Do you know where it is?
286
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,156
- No, I don't, but
my husband might.
287
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,858
Would you like to come in?
288
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:37,148
Oliver, Oliver!
289
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:39,328
- Yes.
290
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,596
- Uh, this is my husband.
291
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:41,563
- How do you do?
292
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:42,865
- I don't believe it.
293
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:45,168
- Do you want to see
the marriage certificate?
294
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,602
No I meant...
295
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,637
- Uh, can I help you Miss uh?
296
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,872
- Mrs. Brown.
297
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:51,107
- Mrs. Brown.
298
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,176
- I'm trying to find my
way to Beaver Meadow.
299
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,310
- Oh, Beaver Meadow.
300
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,878
I have a road map here.
301
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:56,946
- I'll make some tea.
302
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,014
- Oh you don't need.
303
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,038
- Beaver
304
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,250
Meadow, hm?
305
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,319
- It's uncanny.
306
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:07,345
- What's, what's the
matter, won't you sit down?
307
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,862
- Uh, let's see Beaver Meadow's,
308
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,752
oh you take route... - Hi!
309
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,755
Holy smoke, it's her!
310
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,602
- What?
311
00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:22,371
- Bringing her in
to your own home!
312
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,673
Boy how La Dolce
Vita can you get?
313
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,210
- La Dolce...?
314
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,644
- Uh, Mrs. Brown.
315
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,713
Would you like to have
some cookies with your tea?
316
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,381
- Oh no thank you.
317
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,284
- You have your wife serving
cookies and tea to your,
318
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,086
your... - My what?
319
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,754
- I can't think of the word.
320
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:39,822
But I'll look it up!
321
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,760
- He's a little strange.
322
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,162
- I noticed.
323
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,831
Well, thank you for your help.
324
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,299
- But I didn't show you
how to get to Beaver...
325
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,701
- That's all right, I'm
sure I'll be able to find it.
326
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,802
Bye.
327
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,640
- Where is Mrs. Brown?
328
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,509
- Well she left suddenly!
329
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:01,744
You know I don't
think she came here
330
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:03,846
to get directions at all.
331
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:07,116
Mrs. Brown, that name
doesn't seem to fit her.
332
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,252
- What do you think her name is?
333
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:10,286
- Concubine!
334
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:12,688
- What?
335
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,323
- Mrs. Concubine.
336
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,658
I like that better
than Mrs. Brown.
337
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,328
- Well that's not her name.
338
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,797
- What is her name Mr. Devious?
339
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,032
- And will you stop...?
340
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,566
- I can't hold my
silence any longer.
341
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,835
That man there
is a philanthropist.
342
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:29,405
Oh that's not right.
343
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,607
- Oh for the...
- Philanderer!
344
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,642
- You mean he gives money away?
345
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,577
- No ma'am.
346
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,812
It says right here.
347
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:39,615
Philanderer, one who
is guilty of hanky panky.
348
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:41,717
- Well that isn't the defini...
349
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:44,287
- Who were you
hanky pankying with?
350
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:45,487
- Mrs. Concubine!
351
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,124
- Will you stop...
352
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,259
- Last night I saw you
kissing her outside the movie
353
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,828
and who knows what
happened inside the movie!
354
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:56,899
- You mean you were
out with Mrs. Concubine!
355
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,834
- No, I never saw
that woman before
356
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:01,003
she walked in her
five minutes ago!
357
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,139
- Hi.
358
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,874
Hey.
359
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,776
Guess who I just saw
driving out the gate?
360
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,512
You're ah from Pixley.
361
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:12,748
- Oh?
362
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,817
- Oh, hello Mrs. Douglas.
363
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,485
Does she know about your.
364
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:21,523
- Mr. Kimbell, when did you
allegedly see me in Pixley?
365
00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:24,160
- When I gave you
the fuel pump, Charlie.
366
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,996
- Who is Charlie?
367
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,020
- I don't.
368
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,100
If you gave me the
fuel pump where is it?
369
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,034
- I don't know.
370
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:34,937
Maybe you left it at the motel.
371
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,373
- What motel?
372
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,041
- Well the Pixley Motel.
373
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,009
- Well!
374
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,277
- Oh, Lisa.
375
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,480
- So that's what you've
been up to, Mr. Devious.
376
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:46,949
- Lisa, I don't know
what this is all about,
377
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,018
I've never been
to the Pixley Motel!
378
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,282
- That should be easy to prove.
379
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,355
- Yes it should!
380
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:53,822
- Lisa change your clothes.
381
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:54,957
- Where are we going?
382
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:56,792
- To the Pixley Motel!
383
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:58,794
- We're checking
out in five minutes,
384
00:16:58,818 --> 00:16:59,818
have our bill ready.
385
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,398
- Why are we
checking out, Charlie?
386
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,566
- You want to be here when
the Boston Police arrive?
387
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,068
- I don't understand.
388
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:08,137
Why did you tip off the cops?
389
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,638
- They want Charlie Foster?
390
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,374
We'll give them Charlie Foster.
391
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,175
But not this one.
392
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,783
- Come on Lisa.
393
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,486
- Now Oliver you
don't have to do this.
394
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,054
If you tell me that
you've never been
395
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,890
to the Pixley
Motel, I believe you.
396
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,291
- No, no, no, no, then
there will always be
397
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:30,759
some kind of a
doubt in your mind,
398
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,694
you'll always be
throwing it up at me.
399
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,463
Once and for all I
want you to know
400
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:37,266
that I was never in this motel!
401
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,501
Mr. Foster!
402
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,304
Uh I thought you checked out.
403
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,839
- Checked out?
404
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,342
- Well yes sir your
wife paid the bill and,
405
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,676
well that's not your wife.
406
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,945
- Yes, this is my wife!
407
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,414
- Well then the other one was...
408
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:52,798
Oh no the other
one wasn't my wife.
409
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,385
What I mean was,
you made a mistake.
410
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,454
- You certainly did.
411
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,122
- Oh for the love of, Lisa!
412
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:02,691
- Mr. Foster, before
you go would you mind
413
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,060
filling out this form?
414
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:05,261
- What form?
415
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,562
- You know, how
you liked the room,
416
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,030
was the service satisfactory?
417
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:12,168
Did you enjoy the
complimentary bre, bre, ew, oh!
418
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,936
Mr. Foster!
419
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,604
- Lisa, I tell you
it must have been
420
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,239
somebody who looked like me.
421
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,708
- You can do better
than that Charlie.
422
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:22,678
- Lisa I have always
told you the truth.
423
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,346
- Have you?
424
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:28,484
- Have I ever done anything
dishonest in my whole life?
425
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,319
- You're under arrest.
426
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,020
- What, who are you?
427
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,323
- Lieutenant Olson,
Boston Police.
428
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,757
Are you Oliver Douglas?
429
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:36,692
- Yes.
430
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,726
- Alias Charlie Foster?
431
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,061
- That's his motel name.
432
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,331
- Yeah, we had a tip
you'd be hiding out here.
433
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,433
- Look, what are
you arresting me for?
434
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,302
- Embezzling $50,000.
435
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,604
- That's another thing
you never told me about.
436
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:51,335
Where did you hide
the loot, Charlie?
437
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,843
- Wait, look you've
got the wrong man!
438
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:58,847
- Is that you?
439
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:03,152
- Yes that looks like, I
never posed for this picture!
440
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:06,388
Oh, hey I bet that's the
fellow that was at the motel
441
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,523
with that woman.
442
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,024
Oh this is a
mistake, I'm innocent.
443
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,993
- That's what he always says.
444
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:13,095
- Yeah well let's go.
445
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,029
- Where?
446
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,297
- Down to the sheriff's office.
447
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,232
I got some questions
I'd like to ask you
448
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:17,456
about the money you embezzled.
449
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,471
- They arrested Mr. Douglas
for embezzling $50,000?
450
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,840
I don't believe it, they
must have the wrong man.
451
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,208
- Yeah, that's what he's
trying to tell the sheriff
452
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:27,576
and that Boston detective.
453
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,511
He claims there's
somebody around here
454
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:29,745
that looks just like him.
455
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,748
Huh, well they're
never gonna let him go
456
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:35,317
with a story like that.
457
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,287
They did.
458
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,688
Yeah, we were just
talking about you Mr...
459
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,324
- Hey which one of you
fellows runs this store?
460
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,692
- No they didn't.
461
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:44,760
- Didn't what?
462
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:45,961
- Ah Hank.
463
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,630
Well you let me
wait on the stranger?
464
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,765
- That's no
stranger, that's Mr...
465
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,234
- What can I do for you, sir?
466
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:54,069
- My car ran out of
gas, you have any?
467
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:57,673
- I keep a can down
here for emergencies.
468
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,642
All right, put your hands up.
469
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,666
Not you, Hank!
470
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,413
- Yeah, what do you
think you're doing?
471
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,882
- You're under arrest.
472
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,350
Put them on.
473
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,385
- Mister, I don't know
what you think you're doing,
474
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,752
but you're making a big mistake.
475
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,954
- Okay Sam, I got
them on, now what?
476
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:15,924
- Oh perfect!
477
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,726
Call the sheriff!
478
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,927
- Oh yeah.
479
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,162
Sheriff!
480
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:22,298
Use the phone!
481
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,402
- I've never seen
anything like this in my life,
482
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,870
they could be identical twins!
483
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,172
You know which one is Douglas?
484
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,140
- Mm-hm, I'm Douglas.
485
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,109
- What do you mean
you're Douglas?
486
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,445
I'm Douglas, Sheriff,
you've been out to my farm,
487
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,046
you've seen me before.
488
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,349
- Yeah, you seen
me dozens of times.
489
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,451
- He's never seen you before.
490
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,087
- I don't know
which one is which.
491
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:46,322
- Wife ought to know.
492
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,757
- Yeah, my wife will know.
493
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,293
- What do you mean your wife?
494
00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:52,317
- Get her.
495
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:55,264
Mrs. Douglas,
496
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,999
will you come in here please?
497
00:20:58,023 --> 00:20:59,101
- Lisa.
498
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,269
- Oliver!
499
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:01,293
- Lisa!
500
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:03,805
- Oliver?
501
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:06,163
- Which one is your husband?
502
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:07,943
- That one.
503
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:08,967
- Lisa!
504
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,680
- No, that one.
505
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:12,914
No.
506
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,450
Have you got another one?
- Lady!
507
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:19,187
- Wait a minute, there is
one simple way to find out.
508
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:21,490
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
509
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,760
- Lisa.
510
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,129
Why don't you ask us a
few personal questions
511
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:30,332
that only the real Oliver
Douglas could answer?
512
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:31,800
- That's a good idea.
513
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,602
- Lady, ask him something.
514
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:34,626
- All right.
515
00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:38,106
What did you do before
you were a farmer?
516
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,575
- I was a lawyer.
517
00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:40,909
- Right.
518
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:42,077
- What did you do?
519
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:43,345
- I was a lawyer.
520
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:47,215
- So far they're even.
521
00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:48,884
- Ask him where we were married.
522
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,886
- Oh, are you two married?
523
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:55,324
- I mean where
you and I married?
524
00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:57,393
- You don't remember?!
525
00:21:57,417 --> 00:22:00,117
- Of course I, it was Paris!
526
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:03,465
- Where were we married?
527
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:04,533
- In Paris.
528
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:08,970
- They're still running
neck and neck.
529
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,440
- Lisa you're giving
him the answers.
530
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:12,941
- Keep out of this Charlie!
531
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:14,465
- I'm not Charlie!
532
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,946
- There is one sure way to tell.
533
00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:19,281
The smooch test.
534
00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:20,582
- The what?
535
00:22:20,606 --> 00:22:22,685
- A wife can always
tell her husband
536
00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:24,420
by the way he kisses.
537
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:25,887
- I'm not gonna
have you kissing...
538
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:27,790
- Could you keep
him quiet, please?
539
00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:36,898
- Well?
540
00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:38,567
- One more time.
541
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:44,807
Ah, uh.
542
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:46,274
Lisa.
543
00:22:48,334 --> 00:22:49,478
Lisa will you.
544
00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:51,714
- Take it easy,
you'll get your turn.
545
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:53,549
Lisa will you
546
00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:54,750
stop kissing please?
547
00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:55,774
- Oh.
548
00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:58,454
I don't have to
look any further.
549
00:22:58,478 --> 00:22:59,655
I take this one.
550
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,725
- Wait a minute
you didn't kiss me?!
551
00:23:02,749 --> 00:23:04,092
- Well Oliver
wouldn't like me going
552
00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:07,162
around kissing
strangers, Charlie.
553
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,197
- That's right, Charlie.
554
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,131
- Look, I've...
555
00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:12,000
- All right Foster, let's go.
556
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:13,602
- Now, wait, just a minute!
557
00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:16,037
Ah, I know something about her
558
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:18,629
that he couldn't possibly know.
559
00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:23,846
- She does?
560
00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:24,870
- Yes.
561
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,182
- Where?
562
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:28,539
- Oh no, no, no.
563
00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:31,887
I'll write it on a
piece of paper
564
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,723
and you let him write it on
a piece of paper, too, hm?
565
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:37,981
- Well I...
- You want proof don't you?!
566
00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:40,696
- All right.
567
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,766
Deputy give them both a
piece of paper and pencil.
568
00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:46,034
- Oh, what's the question?
569
00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:48,136
- The question is,
570
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,306
where does the lady have a mole?
571
00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:54,142
- That was one of the
most embarrassing things
572
00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:55,644
that ever happened to me.
573
00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:58,614
I had to get undressed
in front of the matron
574
00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:01,650
and let her see
where my mole was.
575
00:24:01,674 --> 00:24:04,753
- Only I would know
it was on your left hip.
576
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:05,987
Uh, Lisa.
577
00:24:06,011 --> 00:24:08,490
I had a feeling that
all along you knew
578
00:24:08,514 --> 00:24:09,892
which was which.
579
00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:11,359
- Yes I did.
580
00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:12,828
- Well then,
581
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:16,932
why did you spend so much
time kissing the other fellow?
582
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:19,334
- Why did you spend
so much time in the motel
583
00:24:19,358 --> 00:24:20,368
with the other girl?
584
00:24:22,094 --> 00:24:24,873
- That wasn't me, that was him!
585
00:24:24,897 --> 00:24:26,229
- Just a second.
586
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,144
Where do you think you're going?
587
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:30,312
- To bed!
588
00:24:30,336 --> 00:24:32,147
- Oh no you're not.
589
00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,082
How can I be sure
that you are the real
590
00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:35,918
Oliver Wendell Douglas?
591
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,821
- Oh for...
592
00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:41,356
- Would you write
down on a piece of paper
593
00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:43,459
where you have your scar?
594
00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:45,961
Gladly.
595
00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:50,165
Satisfied?
596
00:24:50,189 --> 00:24:52,100
- Yes, you can get into bed now.
597
00:24:52,124 --> 00:24:53,802
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
598
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:54,826
Charlie.
599
00:25:36,002 --> 00:25:40,170
This has been a Filmways
presentation darling.
38231
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