Original subtitles

- Oh, I love it.

- That's for morning wear.

- Very nice.

- Lori can wear this to play hopscotch in

or go and hide and snake or pin the pail on the monkey.

- Pin the pail on the monkey.

- Yes, those kids games.

- I couldn't wear this to play in.

It's too pretty.

- Oh, we have plenty more.

This is a cox tails dress.

- Lisa, an eight year old child doesn't drink cox tails.

- When I was her age, I did.

Hardly a day went by that I didn't barrel down

a couple of Shirley Temples.

- When you were her age, there was no such thing

as a Shirley Temple.

- Lori, go into the bedroom and try it on there.

It's going to get a little nasty in here.

Now then, let's get back to that Shirley Temple crack.

- Lisa, why did you buy so much stuff?

- Why, you want your daughter to be pretty, don't you?

- She's not our daughter.

- Well, she could be if we would adopticate her.

- No, we can't adopticate her.

She has an aunt.

She's got to go back to her and live with her.

- Well, we'll discuss that when the time comes.

Now look, this one is an ice skating dress.

- Mr. Douglas, I...

Holy Toledo.

That's a real mini mini mini mini mini.

You're not gonna let Mom wear that in public, are you?

- She's not your mom.

- Boy, you must have bought out the whole store.

- They're for Lori.

- Well, as long as you're in such a generous mood,

now would be a good time to ask you something.

- Ask me what?

- Oh, it's nothing important.

It's just a small favor.

- Like what?

- Will you buy me a car?

- No.

- Huh.

One thing about him.

He's not long-winded.

♪ Green Acres is the place to be

♪ Farm living is the life for me

♪ Land spreading out so far and wide

♪ Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside

♪ New York is where I'd rather stay

♪ I get allergic smelling hay

♪ I just adore a penthouse view

♪ Darling I love you, but give me Park Avenue

♪ The chores ♪ The stores ♪ Fresh air

♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife

♪ Goodbye city life

♪ Green Acres, we are there

But Mr. Douglas... - No.

- Please? - No.

- Pretty please? - No.

- You don't have to resort to violence.

Oh.

- A car wouldn't cost you that much.

- Nothing to it.

- What are you nothing doing him about now?

- Same thing as yesterday.

He still wants me to buy him a car.

- I've tried everything.

Pleading, begging, crying.

- Did you try blowing in his ear?

That always works for me.

- I'll try anything.

- Keep away from me.

I'm not going to buy you a car.

- Why not?

- Because.

- You're cheap.

- Okay, so I'm cheap.

- Don't give in so easy.

Fight back.

- Eb.

Just why should I buy you a car?

- Well, beside the fact that I'm soft and cuddly,

I need a set of wheels.

- All right, I'll buy you a set of wheels.

You can build your own car.

- I need transportation, not bum jokes.

Do you realize I'm the only young feller in the valley

who doesn't have a car?

- Tough.

- Every time I take a girl to a drive in movie,

we have to stand up through the whole picture.

- It builds character.

- Wow.

He sure loathes me.

- No, he doesn't.

- Yes, he does.

When he looks at me, he just oozes loathe.

- I didn't notice any loathe oozing.

- He does it out of the corner of his mouth.

He's a sneak oozer.

- Let me talk to him.

I'll see what I can do for you.

- Hi, Eb.

How do you like it?

- Where'd you get that?

- Mr. Douglas bought it for me.

- Well.

- Isn't it marvy?

He paid 39 dollars for it.

- Well.

- I'm going to ride down to the road and get the mail.

- Just a moment, sir.

Where do you think you're going?

- To the barn.

- Not until I hear your explanation.

- What explanation?

- Why did you take 39 dollars out of my car money

to buy Lori a bike?

- I didn't take anything out of your car money.

- Good, then you still have it all.

- Eb, will you please leave me alone?

I am not buying you a car.

- Very well.

But I'll never blow in your ear again.

- Oliver, did you have a good lunch?

- It was fine.

- What are you going to do now?

- Well, think I'll lie down and take a nap

half hour before I go back to work.

- Oh, that's a good idea.

Did you read where those doctors said that if you take

a half an hour nap during the day...

- Yeah, I read that.

- And did you read where the dentists said

that if you lie down flat on your back...

- Please, I only have a half hour and I'd

like to get some sleep, huh?

- Okay darling, goodnight.

- Goodnight.

Lisa.

- Did you have a good nap?

- I didn't get my eyes closed.

What did you drop?

- All the paper plates.

- Well, what'd you,

paper, they sounded like china.

- That's where they were made.

- Lisa, could you please be a little quiet?

- I won't make a sound.

I'll tappy-toe around the kitchen.

- Fine.

Tappy.

- Mrs. Douglas.

Oops, sorry.

- Oh, Lori.

- Okay, I made, oh Lori, what's the matter?

- I was going to ask you if I could...

- Lisa.

- Oh.

Mr. Douglas is taking a nap.

- Trying to take one.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- We'll tappy-toe into the kitchen and we'll talk.

- Thank you.

And don't let anybody disturb me.

Now, who is that?

- Don't wake up dear, I'll get it.

Oh, it's Arnold.

- I thought it was your mother.

- He brought his piano.

- Forgive me if I don't stand up and cheer.

- Who's here?

- It's Arnold.

- Oh hello, Arnold.

- Oh, for the love of...

- He brought his piano.

- Can he play the piano?

- He plays it very well.

Wait until you hear him.

I don't want to hear him.

I want to take a nap.

- A little music might help to put you to sleep.

Lori, get the piano.

No, no, no, oh.

- Where are you going?

- I'm gonna lie down in a bedroom.

- Here's your piano, Arnold.

- Keep it low, Chopin.

And don't get your snout caught in the cracks.

- I agree with you.

That's very rude.

Oliver, Oliver, that wasn't very nice.

Arnold came over here to entertain us and you were...

- I don't call listening to a stupid pig

banging his snout on the keys entertainment.

- Does that sound like banging?

- Well, how could he?

Oh.

Well, I knew it couldn't be Sewer Head.

- Lori, you play beautifully.

- My aunt was giving me piano lessons

but I had to stop because she couldn't afford them anymore.

- That's a shame.

Would you like to take lessons while you're here?

- Could I?

- Of course.

- We don't have a piano.

- Well, that's simple, we'll buy one.

- But a piano costs a lot of money.

- He's got it.

Look, Lisa...

- Arnold, that's a good idea.

Arnold says why don't we rent one?

- Who asked?

There's no place around here you can rent a piano.

Who's that?

Mr. Haney?

- Oh, Mr. Douglas.

I just happened to be passing by and thought

you might like to hear me play a concerto

on my rentable piano.

- Well, isn't that a coincidence?

We want to rent a piano.

- You do?

- We'll take it, Mr. Haney.

- Fine.

It rents for the poultry sum of 50 dollars a day.

- 50 dollars?

That's ridiculous.

- Not for this piano.

This is a genuine Stradivarius.

- Then it's worth the 50 dollars a day.

- Lisa, for your information, Stradivarius

only made violins.

- That's why this piano is so valuable.

It's the only one that Strad ever made.

- Oh boy.

- Do you like it, Lori?

- Oh, it's wonderful.

- Then we'll take it.

Oliver, will you help Mr. Haney to take it

off the truck?

- I'm not paying 50 dollars a day for that...

- Then how much would you pay?

- I'll give you 10 dollars a week.

- 10 dollars a week?

Mr. Douglas, I wouldn't rent that piano

to my own mother for 10 dollars a week.

- Son, I'd like to rent that piano from you

for 10 dollars a week.

- I'm sorry, Ma.

You see?

- Well, that proves it.

Give him the 50 dollars.

- That doesn't prove anything.

That isn't his mother, that's some shill that he...

- Arnold says it is his mother.

- How can he tell?

Doesn't even have his glasses on.

- Now, let's not lose our tempers in front

of the little tyke.

You would like to have the piano,

wouldn't you my dear?

- Well...

- There, you heard it from the child's own lips.

- Mr. Haney, I'll give you 12 dollars a week.

- 12 dollars a week?

Mr. Douglas, I wouldn't rent it to my own father for that.

- Son.

I'd like to rent that piano from you for

12 dollars a week.

- I'm sorry, Pa.

You see?

- Mr. Haney, if you want to rent the piano,

12 dollars a week is my top offer.

- Let me talk it over with the folks.

Well, Mama and Pop weren't too happy about it,

but you got a deal.

- Hi, Lori.

- Hello, Eb.

- Where did you get that?

- Mr. Douglas got it for me.

- Well, where is he?

- In the bedroom taking a nap.

- We'll put a stop to that.

Mr. Douglas, I want to see you out here immediately.

He's going to be furious.

- Mr. Furious.

- What's the matter?

- I'm waiting for your explanation.

- What?

- Would you mind telling me how come you bought Lori

a genuine Stradivarius piano,

and you won't buy me a car?

- Not that it's any of your business,

but I didn't buy it.

I'm renting it from Mr. Haney for 12 dollars a week.

- Ha.

Mr. Haney wouldn't rent that to his own mother

for 12 dollars a week.

- Look, Eb...

- Anything Lori asks for, she gets.

- She didn't ask for it.

- All right, I'm not asking for a car.

Do I get it?

- If you don't stop bugging me, you will get it.

- Mr. Douglas, how can you treat me like this?

- It's easy.

- I've worked for you for four years.

Sweating in the fields, toiling in the hot sun.

Never complaining about anything,

even the beatings you gave me.

And then some little kid comes along

and gets everything she wants.

- Eb...

- I've never asked you for anything,

except many a new set of leg irons for Christmas.

- Look Eb, if you want a car, buy it yourself.

You're working, save up for it.

- How can I save any money on what you pay me?

- I pay you more than enough.

What do you do with your money?

- I send it home to my mother so she won't

have to take in washing.

I can't stand to see her kneeling by the side

of a stream, pounding some stranger's shirt with a rock.

- If the stranger doesn't mind, why should you?

- But Mr...

- Eb, I'm gonna say this for the last time.

I am not buying you a car.

- Then I guess there's nothing more to discuss.

- No, there isn't.

- All right.

To show you there's no hard feelings, here's my hand.

Doggone.

- What's the matter?

- I thought sure you were gonna put a set

of car keys in it.

- Out!

- Would you like another piece of pie, Lori?

- Please.

- There you are.

- I'll have another piece, too.

- There isn't any more.

- Well, you sure worked that out pretty good.

- You can have this, Eb.

- No thanks, I don't want any charity.

- Where are you going?

- Where nobody can hear me sobbing.

- Oh boy.

- Would it be all right if I ate this

in front of television?

- Of course, darling.

- Sure, anything darling wants.

- I thought you were somewhere sobbing.

- I'm going.

- Oliver, we've got a problem.

Our son is jealous of his little sister.

- She's not our son and he's not his sis,

oh, whatever.

- Well, I know how he feels.

I was jealous of my father when I was a little girl

because he paid more attention to the dog

than he did to me.

- You should've learned how to wag your tail.

- Oliver...

- Look, Eb is being unreasonable.

He has no cause to be jealous.

- Well, maybe if you would talk to him.

- I haven't got anything to say to him.

- Then I'll talk to him.

- Oh, Mr. Kimball.

- Ah, Mr. Douglas.

Well, this is a pleasant surprise.

Won't you come in?

- Why don't you come in?

- Oh, thank you.

Well, it certainly is a lovely evening.

Well, not lovely.

Looks like it might, no I don't think it would

this time of year.

Say, where'd you get the Stradivarius?

- It's not a Stradivarius.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

- Certainly is a good imitation.

- Mr. Kimball, what can I do for you?

- I don't know, suggest something.

Oh, where's Lori?

- She's watching TV.

- May I talk to her, please?

Well, not talk to her please.

I'd just like... - Yeah, I'll get her.

Lori, would you shut that off and come out here, please?

- Hello, Mr. Kimball.

- Hello, Lori.

- It's good to see you.

Well, not good to see you.

- She talks kind of funny, doesn't she?

Well not funny, huh?

- Mr. Kimball wants to talk to you.

- I do?

Oh yes.

Do you like picnics?

- I love them.

- Great, I'll see you both there tomorrow.

- Wait a minute, where's the picnic?

- What picnic?

- The one you said you'd see us at.

- Oh, if I'd known you were going to that

I wouldn't have had to come over to invite you.

- Who's giving the picnic?

- The Four H Club.

All the kids in the valley and their parents are invited.

- Could we go, Mr. Douglas?

- Well, I don't see why not.

- Great, I'll see you there.

- Where is it?

- Well, it's the same place they had it last year.

No, that's where everybody got poison ivy.

I think they changed it to, oh,

they're having a baseball game there.

Well, you'll find it.

Just follow the ants.

- That'll be fun.

We'll have to pack sandwiches and...

- Thank you, Mr. Douglas, thank you, thank you.

- For what?

- Mrs. Douglas told me what you're doing

for me tomorrow.

Taking me to the ball game and then to dinner

and then to the movies.

- That'll be fun, won't it?

- Well, it would be except that Mr. Kimball

just invited Lori and us to a picnic tomorrow

and I accepted.

- That does it.

That's the straw that broke the camel's back.

I'm packing and leaving and getting out of here.

I don't want to be a second class member

of a third class family.

- Now, you did it.

- Well, I didn't know that...

- I don't have to go to the picnic.

- Oh now, don't worry about it, Lori.

- But Eb's going to leave.

- No, he won't leave.

- Let me see, have I got everything?

One suit.

One shirt.

One tie.

And one sock.

Huh, not much to show for four years of servitude.

Oh, I almost forgot.

My leg irons.

- Eb?

Oh, hello Lori.

You're not really leaving, are you?

- I sure am.

I know when I'm not wanted.

- It's my fault.

If I hadn't come here...

- Don't blame yourself.

- If anybody should leave, it should be me.

- No, I'm the one.

- Eb, please don't go.

- I have to.

The bottom has dropped out of my world.

- Eb!

Are you all right?

- What difference does it make?

Nobody cares.

Nobody.

Nobody.

- Now where could he have gone?

- I haven't the faintest idea.

- But Oliver...

- Oh don't worry, he'll be back.

He's left before.

- But this is the first time he took his leg irons with him.

- I'll ask around town.

- Yeah, Eb was in.

Asked me for a job.

- Oh, is that so?

- I would've hired him but I couldn't pay him

what you paid.

I couldn't pay anybody that little.

- Oh now see here, Mr. Drucker...

- It wasn't just the money.

It was the treatment he was complaining about.

- I treated him very well.

- Only allowing him to have one sock?

I don't consider that good treatment.

- One sock?

Did he tell you that?

- Yeah, and a lot of other things too.

Like how you used to hit him every time his

mother would ruin one of your shirts,

when she beat it with a rock.

- You didn't believe him, did you?

- Not until he asked me to take off his leg irons.

- Oh for, look Mr. Drucker, do you know

what this is all about?

Eb asked me to buy a car and I refused.

- That isn't what Eb said about the car.

- Oh, what did he say?

- He said he gave you 4,000 dollars to hold for him

to buy one, and you went to Las Vegas

and got drunk and lost it all.

- That's too ridiculous even to discuss.

Look, if you see Eb, tell him to come back to work

and stop acting like a tall nut.

- Did you hear that?

Now I'm a tall nut.

Do you see the kind of abuse I have to take

working for him?

Could be a lot worse.

- Boy, I don't see how.

What are you gonna do?

- I'll find another job.

Hey meanwhile, is it all right if I stay

in your spare room?

- Sure, help yourself.

Of course, I'll have to charge you two dollars a night.

- Two dollars?

- Plus a dollar for board.

- That's three dollars a day.

I'll go through my life savings in four days.

- There's always Mrs. Miller's boarding house,

but she gets five dollars a day.

- Golly.

It sure is expensive living on the outside.

- Yeah.

- What am I gonna do?

- You could go back to work for Mr. Douglas.

- Never.

Never.

Never.

- Yes?

- Oh Mr. Douglas, I just happened to be

in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by

and see if you found my other sock.

- Haven't seen it.

- Just a minute.

Mr. Drucker told me you were in his store

and said you wanted to apologize for the way

you've treated me.

- I never... - I accept your apology.

- Now, look here... - Eb, Eb you came back.

- Yes, Mr. Douglas begged me and here I am.

- Begged you, I didn't...

- Well come on, come in.

- Excuse me.

- Eb, I'm so glad to see you.

- Hi Lori, how are you?

Well, I couldn't leave Mr. Douglas here

to run the farm into the ground.

Dumpty-dye, dumpty-dye.

- All right, if the family reunion scene is over,

now maybe you can get back to work.

- Work?

- Unless you want to be docked for today's pay.

- But... - Go milk Eleanor.

- That ain't fair, I just got home...

- You heard what Mr. Douglas said.

Get to work.

- But Mrs... - Out.

- Holy Toledo.

He's brainwashed you.

He's turned you into the same kind of monster he is.

- Out!

- Gosh darn it, I never should have left.

It was never this bad before.

At least Mrs. Douglas used to be on my side,

but now nobody's on my side.

Holy smoke.

It's a car.

It's a car.

- Eb, do you like it?

- Yeah.

Who does this belong to?

- You.

- Me?

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- Put me down.

- Isn't it beautiful, Eb?

- I don't know how to thank you.

- It's the least I could do after I lost your

4,000 dollars in Las Vegas.

- When were you in Las Vegas?

- I wasn't in... - Can I go for a ride?

- Of course, go ahead.

- Come on, Lori.

There's only about a gallon of gas in here.

- Well, stop and get some.

- Yes, sir.

Can I borrow your credit card?

Thank you.

Bye.

- Oliver, Oliver, you made him very happy.

- Well, it's the least a father can do for his son.

- Do you realize what you just said?

- Yes, and I'm going in to wash my mouth out with soap.

This has been a

Filmways Presentation, darling.