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♪ Green Acres is the place to be
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00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:25,935
♪ Farm livin' is the life for me
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00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,839
♪ Land spreadin'
out so far and wide
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00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:34,077
♪ Keep Manhattan just
give me that countryside
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00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:37,914
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
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♪ I get allergic smelling hay
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♪ I just adore a penthouse view
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00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:50,149
♪ Darlin', I love you
but give me Park Avenue
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00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:57,401
♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air
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00:00:57,425 --> 00:01:00,070
♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife
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♪ Goodbye, city life
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00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:05,497
♪ Green Acres we are there
13
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- Well, we'll take two tickets.
14
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,626
- Yes, we haven't been to a
dance since we moved here.
15
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,095
- Well, you'll enjoy this.
16
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:28,165
The Sons of Hooterville
always throw a slam bang bash.
17
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,422
That'll be $4, $2 a ticket.
18
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,370
- That says 75 cents.
19
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,439
- That's the price to Sons.
20
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,441
Outsiders have
to pay full price.
21
00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:39,309
- Why aren't you
a member, Oliver?
22
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,311
- He ain't eligible, to
be a Son of Hooterville
23
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,280
you have to live
here for 25 years,
24
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:45,815
unless you marry somebody
that's lived here 15 years,
25
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,817
then you only have
to live here 10 years,
26
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:50,120
unless somebody in
your family is born here,
27
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:54,224
then you only need five,
or any combination thereof.
28
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,526
- Well, we only lived
here for three years,
29
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,328
so Oliver can't get in.
30
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,163
- He might become
an associate Son.
31
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,364
- How do you do that?
32
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,899
- Well, if you can find
a Son of Hooterville
33
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,302
that's movin' away,
you can buy his years,
34
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:07,837
but then you'd have
to use his name.
35
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,939
- Who's band is
playing for the dance?
36
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,008
- We were gonna
have Guy Lombardo,
37
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,744
but somebody lost the records.
38
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,113
- You just play records?
39
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:18,482
- Oh no, we have
live entertainment.
40
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,517
Matter of fact, the
entertainment gets liver
41
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,051
as the punch bowl gets lower.
42
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,589
Next to the
basketball game put on
43
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,056
by the Daughters of Hooterville,
44
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,627
this is our biggest
social event.
45
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:40,903
- Oh, do you care to join me?
46
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:43,373
- I might, if I knew
what you were doing.
47
00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,041
- What does it look like?
48
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,343
- It looks like you're
trying to squirm
49
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,744
out of a tight girdle.
50
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,249
- Now, what did you do that for?
51
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,217
I was practicing for the dance.
52
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:55,752
- You call that dancing?
53
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,554
- That's the way
they dance nowadays.
54
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:58,988
Do you want to try it with me?
55
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,824
You stand here and
I stand over there.
56
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,326
- On the other side of the room?
57
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,328
- That's the way
they dance nowadays.
58
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,165
The further away the better.
59
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,508
You're not doing it!
60
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,710
- What do you need me for?
61
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,379
- Well, I can't dance by myself.
62
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:25,081
I've got to have
somebody to shake at.
63
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,584
- Well, just do kind
of a general shake,
64
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,252
to whom it may concern.
65
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,292
- Oliver!
66
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,126
- No, I like the
old fashioned way
67
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,796
where you take
the girl in your arms.
68
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,599
- What do you call this?
- Dancing!
69
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,669
- Feels more like
clutching, to me.
70
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,404
- What's wrong with clutching?
71
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:52,209
- Nothing, except they don't
do it while they dance anymore.
72
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,010
- Why don't we compromise?
73
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,879
I'll clutch and you shake.
74
00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:00,717
- It won't work, either we
both shake or we both clutch.
75
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,152
- Lisa, if we go to the dance,
76
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:05,355
we're going to dance this way.
77
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,879
Ya da da da da da da da da da.
78
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,550
Ya da da da da da.
79
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:15,621
Ya da da da da da.
80
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,938
Do you want something, Eb?
81
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,741
- Yes, sir, but it can wait
til you've finished clutchin'.
82
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,944
- We're waltzing.
83
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,134
- What's that?
84
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:33,283
This is the way they dance now.
85
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,021
Why don't you get
a girl and join in?
86
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:47,397
- Okay, happy hour's over,
everybody back to work.
87
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,332
- Mr. Douglas, I've
already done my chores.
88
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,134
I milked Eleanor,
fed the chickens,
89
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,436
cultivated the corn,
sprayed the tomaters,
90
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,406
washed your car and
swept off the front porch.
91
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:59,309
- It's only 10:00 and
you've done all that?
92
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,811
- Yes, sir, I just wanted
to show my appreciation
93
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:06,082
for the $50 advance you're
gonna give me on my salary.
94
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,984
- $50?
- Yes, sir.
95
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:10,987
I figured I'd ask you for
50, and you would offer five,
96
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,356
so I'll settle for 20.
97
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,458
- You'll settle for nothing.
98
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,360
- I didn't figure
on that figure.
99
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,895
Mr. Douglas, I need money.
100
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,431
- So do I.
- What for?
101
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:23,866
- You didn't ask me what for.
102
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,868
- I'll give you what for.
103
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,439
- I need a new
dress for the dance.
104
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:30,640
- Lisa, you've got...
105
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,564
- All I need is $3,000.
106
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,345
- Lisa, you have
to be out of our mid.
107
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:36,935
$3,000 for a dress?
108
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,650
- The dress is only
$400, but the rest is
109
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,353
for the plane ticket to
go to Paris and to get it.
110
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:48,325
- Lisa, you've got plenty of
dresses, wear one of those.
111
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:50,527
- Now that you've
saved yourself $3,000,
112
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,095
you can afford to give me
the 20 without any sweat.
113
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,231
- If I went to New
York, I could probably
114
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,088
cut the cost to 1,500.
115
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,726
- The answer to
both of you is no.
116
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:08,010
- There the goes the last
of the big cheapskates.
117
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:11,614
- Yeah, and there goes the
end of my romance with Lorelei.
118
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,783
- Is that what you
needed the money for?
119
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,618
- Yes, ma'am, it's
her birthday next week
120
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,420
and I wanted to buy
her a nice present
121
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,589
and take her out to some
swanky place for dinner,
122
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,492
like the Pixeli Diner
with tablecloths.
123
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,060
- Don't give up yet, Eb.
124
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,862
Like my mother always says,
125
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,732
"There is more than
one way to skin a mink."
126
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,539
- Mr. Douglas!
127
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,976
Golly, dingerfritz,
what are you doin'?
128
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,679
- I'm trying to get rid of
some of these weeds.
129
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:46,649
- The master of the plantation
shouldn't be doin' serf work.
130
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,618
- Serf...
- Here, give me that.
131
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,687
Now, you go over and sit
under the tree in the shade
132
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:53,790
and I'll come over and
fan you from time to time.
133
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,826
- Eb, I'm not
advancing you the $20.
134
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,995
- That was the fartherest
thing from my mind.
135
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,297
- Eb, there's no reason why
you should need an advance.
136
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,767
You get a good salary,
what do you do with it?
137
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:07,036
- I send it home, they like a
good laugh now and then too.
138
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:11,240
- Look, Eb... All
I'm asking for is $20.
139
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,709
- What do you need it for?
140
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,611
- It's Lorelei's birthday,
and I want to buy her
141
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,613
a present and take
her out to dinner...
142
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,715
- You knew Lorelei had
a birthday coming up,
143
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,784
why didn't you save for it?
144
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:23,453
- I did, I had $30,
and one day I was
145
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:26,423
at the doctor's
office and, well,
146
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:27,824
I don't know what came over me,
147
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,926
but I up and treated
everybody to flu shots.
148
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,731
- Oh boy, Eb, when
is her birthday?
149
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,198
- Next Thursday.
150
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:39,235
- That gives you almost a
week to earn whatever you need.
151
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,770
- But Mr. Douglas, I
can't earn the whole...
152
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,406
- That's what I used to do
when I needed extra money.
153
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,508
I worked evenings.
154
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:47,276
- You've seen
Hooterville at night.
155
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,646
What is there to do around here?
156
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,214
- Well, you're an
enterprising young man,
157
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,405
you'll think of something.
158
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,013
- Who is it?
- It's me, sweetie.
159
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,728
- Come in.
- Are you decent?
160
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,586
- Just come in.
- Okay.
161
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,856
Your knob came off.
162
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,292
- Oh, for the love of Pete.
163
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,011
- There's a lot of
that going around.
164
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,546
- Ralph, you...
165
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,314
- You should have been
at the doctor the other day.
166
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,584
Eb treated
everybody to flu shots.
167
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,521
- I think you broke something.
168
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,944
- Yeah, probably.
169
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,925
Where is it?
170
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,861
- Where is what?
- My dress.
171
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,463
- What dress?
- The one I gave $2 to Eb for
172
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,799
to rent for the dance.
173
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,033
- You gave Eb...
174
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,603
- He told me how hard
up for cash you are.
175
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,270
- I'm not...
- I think it's a wonderful way
176
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:52,542
to raise money, renting your
wife's dresses for an evening.
177
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:53,643
Now where are they?
178
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,044
- Look, we're not renting...
179
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,179
- Oh, hello, hello there, Ralph.
180
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,315
- You know what
that stupid Ed did?
181
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,884
- That's a fine way
to talk about the boy
182
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:02,318
when he's tryin'
to help shore up
183
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,921
your shaky financial foundation.
184
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:07,724
- I don't have a
shaky foundation.
185
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,358
- No, he's a clutcher.
186
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,729
- Lisa, Eb is trying
to raise that $20
187
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,531
by renting your clothes.
188
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:17,466
- Well, you told him
to be enterprising.
189
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,868
- Well, I didn't
mean he should...
190
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,136
- Can I see the dresses?
191
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,204
- We're not renting any dresses.
192
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,206
- You took my $2,
what kind of a racket
193
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,242
are you running here?
194
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,545
- Look, I'll see that Eb
gives you back your money.
195
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,146
- I'd rather have the
dress, I haven't got anything
196
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,548
to wear to the dance.
197
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,750
- Well, I'll be glad
to lend you one.
198
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,952
And you don't have
to pay anything for it.
199
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,454
- I don't?
- Of course not.
200
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:40,489
- Well then why
did you take my $2.
201
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:41,680
- I didn't...
202
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,161
Here's your $2.
203
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:48,330
- Come, let's see if we can
find a dress for you to wear.
204
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:49,231
- Do you think you
can find something
205
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,833
to make me look sexy?
206
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,334
- Try one of my suits.
207
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:03,980
- I come after the dollar
and a half mink coat.
208
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,181
- What?
209
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,683
- The one's you're
rentin' for the dance.
210
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:10,954
- Wait a minute, we're
not renting any mink coats.
211
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,489
- Oh yeah, your son,
Eb, said you were worried
212
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:17,126
that people would find out
you were flat on your uppers.
213
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:20,362
- I'm not flat on anything,
and he is not my son.
214
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,431
- Oh ho ho ho, I got
his signature right here
215
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:26,869
on this receipt, you see
that there, Eb Douglas.
216
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:28,605
- His name is Eb Dawson.
217
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,406
- And you're Mr. Dawson.
218
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,075
- No, my name is Douglas.
219
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,343
- Uh huh, changed it
to avoid your creditors.
220
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,845
- No, lady, I didn't...
221
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,346
- Where are the coats?
222
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,481
- For the last time...
223
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,449
- Oh hi, Minnie.
- Oh hi, Lila.
224
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,051
Say, that's pretty.
225
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,987
- I got it from Mrs.
Douglas for the dance.
226
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,488
- How much do they rent fer?
227
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,289
- Mrs. Douglas is lending
it to me for nothing.
228
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,625
- Then how come
you're charging me
229
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,493
a dollar and a
half for a fur coat?
230
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:54,697
- Oh Oliver, you
shouldn't have done that.
231
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:56,766
- I didn't, Eb did.
232
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:59,235
- Well, if you need a
fur coat for the dance,
233
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,970
I've got plenty of them.
234
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,106
I'll be glad to lend
you one for nothing.
235
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,273
- Lisa...
236
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,817
- Can I have my
dollar and a half back?
237
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,047
- Here, there you are.
238
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,183
- Come into the bedroom, Mrs...
239
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,585
- Holcombe.
- I'm Lisa Douglas.
240
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,188
- Pleased to meet up
with your acquaintance.
241
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,923
- Well, let's go.
242
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,859
- Mrs. Douglas,
I think a fur coat
243
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,961
would look awful good with this.
244
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,295
- You can have one.
245
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:30,332
- Can I have a dress
to go with the fur coat?
246
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,734
Lisa!
247
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:34,771
We're not renting any
dresses or fur coats.
248
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,673
- Oh, then I won't be
able to go to the dance.
249
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:39,008
- Mr. Kimball, I
thought it was...
250
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,743
Well, what can I do for you?
251
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,412
- May I have the keys
to your car, please?
252
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,681
- The keys to my...
253
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,182
- Now, let me get this straight.
254
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,250
You charge three cents
a mile for the first 50 miles
255
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,586
and then two cents a mile
for every mile thereafter
256
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,855
and you pay for the gasoline.
257
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,290
Or is it three cents a
mile for the gasoline,
258
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,258
you pay for the first 50 miles?
259
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,894
Well, whatever it is, I'm
sure glad that Eb told me
260
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,362
about your car rental service.
261
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,665
- My car is not for rent.
262
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:05,234
- That's it, Mr. Douglas,
put up a good front.
263
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:09,172
No sense in lettin' everybody
know that you're down and out.
264
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,273
Have you had
anything to eat today?
265
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,775
- Of course!
266
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:16,445
- I haven't, I gave Eb
my last $3 to rent the car.
267
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,281
- Look, here's your $3 back.
268
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:20,850
- Oh no, no, no, you keep it.
269
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,218
You need it worse than I do.
270
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,853
- I don't need it!
271
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,089
- Mr. Douglas, I
admire your courage.
272
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,191
I mean, a lot of men in
your position would be crying
273
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:32,628
and whining, but not
you, you're taking it like a...
274
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,864
Come to think of it, I
gave Eb $4 to rent the car.
275
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,234
- Here's the other dollar.
276
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,635
- What's this for?
277
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,403
- You said you gave him $4.
278
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,762
- What for?
- To rent my car!
279
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,876
- Oh, may I have the
keys to your car, please?
280
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:51,814
- No!
- But I...
- Beat it!
281
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:55,651
Ooh, that Eb, if I ever
get my hands on him!
282
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,620
- When you've placed
the dance steps on the floor
283
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,744
in the pattern indicated,
284
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,625
you are ready to start.
285
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:05,962
Place your left foot
on footprint number one
286
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:09,654
and your right foot on
footprint number two.
287
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:16,460
Now, move the left foot from
position one to position three.
288
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:25,436
Now slide the right
foot to position four.
289
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:35,357
Now move your left foot
gracefully to position five
290
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:38,161
while clapping hands
in rhythm overhead
291
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,018
and wigglin' the hips.
292
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:54,243
Oh, hi.
293
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,913
Just practicin' my
mail order Watusi.
294
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,915
I wanted to learn
somethin' new for the dance.
295
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:02,885
Seems the girls today
prefer shakers to clutchers.
296
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:05,621
- Well look, I won't keep
you, I'm looking for Eb.
297
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,824
- Oh, he was here
jut a few minutes ago.
298
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,992
I think he said he was
gonna go over and see Haney.
299
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,460
- Uh huh, thank you, thank you.
300
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:15,164
- By the way, Mr. Douglas,
would 7:00 tonight be alright?
301
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,332
- For what?
- To come over
302
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,868
and pick up the tuxedo I rented.
303
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,169
- Did Eb rent you...
304
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:23,339
- Yeah, I paid him
the $2.50 in advance.
305
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,773
- Mr. Drucker...
306
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:29,178
- I sure am sorry to hear
things are goin' so bad for you.
307
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,647
- Look, Mr. Drucker,
there is nothing,
308
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,650
here, here's your $2.50 back.
309
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:37,153
- Are you sure you're not
givin' me this just to save face?
310
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,587
Eb said you might.
311
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,958
- Forget what Eb
said, wait'll I find him!
312
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,459
- The reason I came
to you, Mr. Haney,
313
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,962
is because you're so
good at raisin' money.
314
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,831
- Oh, it's just a natural
born talent I have,
315
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,867
like some people have for music.
316
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,568
Now, you take my cousin.
317
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,971
He could pick out
a tune on a zither
318
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,139
when he was only two years old.
319
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:58,607
- Which cousin was that?
320
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:02,345
- Oh, you've seen him, the
kid with the swollen fingers.
321
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:06,448
- Well, my problem ain't
musical, it's monetary.
322
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:10,052
- Uh, just how much
monetary does it involve?
323
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:14,023
- $20, I've already got
10, but I need 10 more.
324
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,292
- You've got $10?
- Yes, sir.
325
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,361
- Can I see it?
326
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,462
- Here you are, right here.
327
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:23,565
- Do you mind if I count it?
328
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,302
You're right, there's
$10 there alright.
329
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,104
Now, what can I do for you?
330
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,540
- Well, for one thing you
can give me back my $10.
331
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,675
- Oh, didn't I give
that back to you?
332
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,212
- No, sir!
333
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:39,615
- You say you got $10,
and you need $10 more.
334
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,750
- I had 10, but you have it.
335
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,675
- Oh, you mean
my consultation fee.
336
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,689
- Consultation fee!
337
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:50,293
- Well, you don't expect to
come over here and get advice
338
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:55,031
from my natural born money
makin' talents for nothin'.
339
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,533
- Mr. Haney, I want
my money back.
340
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,369
- No need to get your riles up.
341
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,861
You're investin' that
10 in the franchise.
342
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,743
You are the Midwest distributor
343
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,646
for Lickwell's Liver Lotion.
344
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,148
- Liver Lotion!
345
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,517
- You sell these and you'll
wind up with the $20 you need.
346
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,119
- Who will buy this stuff?
347
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,055
- Anybody who sees these.
348
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:22,391
They're part of the sales
kit we furnish you with.
349
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:23,359
- What are those?
350
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:26,084
- Before and after liver x-rays.
351
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,464
- Where's the liver?
352
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,133
- In the icebox so
the cat can't get it.
353
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:37,239
We furnish you with that
little sales joke free of charge.
354
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:40,742
Now, notice how tired
and droopy the liver is
355
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:44,080
in the before, now
look at the after.
356
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:48,272
Did you ever see a more
soothed, happier liver in your life?
357
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,652
- I can't tell the difference.
358
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,989
- Well, that's because
you ain't a liver.
359
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,957
Just take my word for it.
360
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:57,626
- Well, if you
think I can sell it.
361
00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,396
- You won't have as much
trouble as Dr. Ehrlich had
362
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,531
with his magic bullet.
363
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:05,167
- Thank you, Mr. Haney,
thank you very much.
364
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,839
You've solved all my... Uh oh.
- Eb!
365
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,705
- Double uh oh.
366
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,640
- I've been looking
all over for you.
367
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:14,176
- It's good to see
ya, Mr. Douglas.
368
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,645
- You keep out of this.
369
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:17,935
You owe me $10.
370
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,083
- I'm keepin' out of this.
371
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,551
- But Mr. Douglas...
372
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,320
- I've refunded all the money
you got for those rentals.
373
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:26,322
You had no right to do that.
374
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:27,826
- But...
- $10!
375
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,381
- Well, here you are.
376
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,197
- What's this?
377
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,566
- You are now the
Midwest distributor
378
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,968
for Lickwell's Liver Lotion.
379
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,612
- Liver lotion,
what does that do?
380
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:51,914
- I don't know.
381
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,549
- It says so here on the label.
382
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:56,185
Softens chapped livers.
383
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,154
- Chapped livers?
- MM hm.
384
00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,555
- They must mean chopped livers.
385
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,591
Chapped livers.
386
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:05,561
- That's wonderful, and
you're the Midwest distributor.
387
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:07,819
- Come in.
388
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,566
- Hi, Miss Douglas.
389
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,935
- Oh, hello there,
Mrs. Holcombe.
390
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,504
- Mr. Douglas, I'm just
returning your coat and dress.
391
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,306
I won't be able to
go to the dance.
392
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,542
- Oh, that's a
shame, what's wrong?
393
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,143
- Well, I can't
get a babysitter.
394
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,334
Everybody in town's goin'.
395
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:28,617
- Shine sir, it's only a
dollar per shoe per shine,
396
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:32,054
or a $1.98 for the
set, or 12 pair for $20,
397
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,856
or you can join my
shine of the month club...
398
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,892
- Will you get lost with that...
399
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,427
- Either of you two
ladies interested?
400
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,396
- No, but, Eb, if you want
to make some money,
401
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,364
Mrs. Holcomb needs a babysitter
402
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,066
for the dance tomorrow night.
403
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,001
- I usually give
$2 for the night.
404
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:48,237
- 20 would be better.
405
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,473
- Take the two, it's a start.
406
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:53,442
- You know, Eb, if you
get enough babysittings job,
407
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,544
you would have your
money in no time.
408
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,901
- Yeah, no time, I'll do it!
409
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,788
- Lisa, how long
you going to be?
410
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,158
- I'll only be a
few more minutes.
411
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,266
- Is Eb here?
- Uh, no.
412
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,335
- Are you Mr. Douglas.
- Yes.
413
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,070
- Well, Eb said I should
leave Tommy with you.
414
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:25,329
Here's his bottle,
he gets it at eight.
415
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:29,467
I'll pick him up at
12:00, thanks, bye.
416
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,537
- Wait, just a second.
417
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,823
- Well, I'm ready.
418
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,293
Well, where did you get this?
419
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,395
- Some woman just left him.
420
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,896
- Anybody you know?
421
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:50,499
- I never saw
her before in my...
422
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,568
- Oh, isn't he cute?
423
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:56,093
Yeah.
424
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,430
Here, here, hold it.
425
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,845
- Hello there, are
you Mr. Douglas?
426
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,047
- Yes.
427
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,616
- Eb told me to leave
Charlie with you.
428
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,586
Now, his bottle and
his didies and his rattle
429
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,622
are right in here,
he gets fed at 9:15.
430
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,758
I'll pick him up after
the dance, goodnight.
431
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:19,761
- Wh, wh, wh, miss, missus.
432
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:23,921
I don't know.
433
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:28,804
- Oliver, Oliver where
are you going to put these?
434
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:32,675
- Don't ask, where
is that stupid Eb?
435
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,099
Eb!
- Howdy.
436
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,413
Oh, I see two of
them got here already.
437
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,515
- Yeah.
- These are the Beasley kids.
438
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,483
Bradley and Sarah.
439
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:45,008
- Eb, what do you
think you're doing here?
440
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,856
Running some kind of a,
441
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,359
Eb, what are you up to?
442
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,928
- Usin' my good old
American ingenuity.
443
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,530
Wholesale babysittin'.
444
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:59,134
- You're going to
babysit all four of them?
445
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,704
- No, ma'am, 10.
- What!
446
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:03,405
- Ain't this a keano idea?
447
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,474
10 babies at $2 a baby,
448
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,076
and I've made my
whole $20 in one evening.
449
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:11,614
Holy smoke, I gotta get movin'.
450
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:14,617
I got six more to pick up.
451
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:16,352
- Eb, come back here!
452
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,625
- Seven, eight, nine, ten.
453
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,293
Well, they're all here.
454
00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:26,528
Thanks a lot for letting
me use your bedroom.
455
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:29,231
Now I want you to go to the
dance and have a good time.
456
00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:31,933
- You expect to
take care of all 10
457
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,002
of these kids by yourself?
458
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,804
- No, sir, there's this
friend of mine coming over
459
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:38,274
to help me out.
460
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,798
That must be him now, come in!
461
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,713
Arnold, you're late.
462
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,884
- That's the friend
that's gonna help you?
463
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:52,721
- Yes, sir, he's an
experienced baby herder.
464
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,456
You see, in case any
of these little babies start
465
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,560
to crawl away, Arnold rounds
'em up and herds 'em back.
466
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:00,162
- You're not
going to let that pig
467
00:22:00,186 --> 00:22:02,553
get anywhere near those kids.
468
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:05,901
Out!
469
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:08,926
Out!
470
00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:11,774
Of all the stupid things...
471
00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:13,776
- What is all the yelling about?
472
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,212
- Eb... why did you
change clothes?
473
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:18,980
- Well, we can't go to the dance
474
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:21,983
and leave all the babies
alone here with Eb.
475
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:24,119
- No, I guess we can't.
476
00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:25,421
- Well, as long as
you're not going,
477
00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:26,488
can I have your tickets?
478
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:27,956
- No.
- Well, there's no sense
479
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,891
in all of us staying here.
480
00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:31,593
- You're not leaving,
if you hadn't...
481
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:38,467
Quiet, quiet.
- Look what you've done.
482
00:22:38,491 --> 00:22:41,437
- That ain't no
way to handle kids.
483
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:44,606
Cool it, or nobody gets
to watch the boob tube.
484
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,278
You gotta use child psychology.
485
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:51,780
- Yeah, child psychology.
486
00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:53,281
- Well, we've got
to get organized.
487
00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:57,185
These babies have to be
bottled, changed and burped.
488
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:59,087
We all have to pitch in.
489
00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:01,189
- This one is ready for
the burping department.
490
00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,392
Yeah, just a minute.
491
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:04,926
Thatta boy.
492
00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:08,786
That was me.
493
00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:13,691
There you go.
494
00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:18,095
- Here, change this.
495
00:23:22,134 --> 00:23:23,534
- Isn't this fun?
496
00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:29,907
- This is a great
way to enjoy a dance.
497
00:23:36,783 --> 00:23:38,326
- Ain't that a great feeling?
498
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:44,321
♪ Lullaby and goodnight
499
00:23:46,492 --> 00:23:49,493
♪ La la la da da da
500
00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:54,965
♪ La da dee da la da dee
501
00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:58,803
♪ La da da da da da
502
00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:02,167
- Oliver.
- Hm?
503
00:24:03,042 --> 00:24:05,810
- Look at how quiet they are.
- Yeah.
504
00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:11,493
- You've got such a wonderful
voice to put people to sleep.
505
00:24:11,517 --> 00:24:12,761
- Thank you.
506
00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:15,163
You'd make a wonderful father.
507
00:24:15,187 --> 00:24:18,355
- Well, you'd make
a beautiful mother.
508
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:36,084
- Eb, why don't you
watch where you're going?
509
00:24:39,579 --> 00:24:41,411
- Back to work, Elvis.
510
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:45,594
- Ya da da ya da da da
ya da da da da da da dee
511
00:24:45,618 --> 00:24:48,964
La da da da la da da
da la da da da da da da
35574
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