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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:21,598 ♪ Green Acres is the place to be 2 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:25,802 ♪ Farm livin' is the life for me. 3 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:29,772 ♪ Land spreadin' out so far and wide 4 00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:33,943 ♪ Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside 5 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:37,981 ♪ New York is where I'd rather stay 6 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:41,818 ♪ I get allergic smelling hay 7 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,822 ♪ I just adore a penthouse view 8 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:50,015 ♪ Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue 9 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,230 ♪ The chores! 10 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,265 ♪ The stores! 11 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,200 ♪ Fresh air! 12 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,368 ♪ Times Square! 13 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,738 ♪ You are my wife ♪ Goodbye city life! 14 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:05,431 ♪ Green Acres, we are there 15 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,664 - Good morning, Eleanor. 16 00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:44,769 Just part of the Haney Farm Minding service. 17 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:49,286 Now then, what will ya have for breakfast? 18 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,788 Alfalfa, Timothy, or oats? 19 00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:55,858 Alfalfa, it is. 20 00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:58,528 Sure hope you'll tell Mr. Douglas what 21 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,863 a good job I'm doing taking care of you 22 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:02,954 while he's in Washington. 23 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,347 - Hello? 24 00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,381 - Good morning, Mr. Kimball, it's 4:00 a.m., 25 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,083 time to get up! 26 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:24,154 - I'm not Mr. Kimball, he's in the next room. 27 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,345 - Sorry, go back to sleep. 28 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,409 - Mr. Kimball, 4:00 a.m., time to get up. 29 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,113 - Mr. Kimball? 30 00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,806 - Arnold, who are you callin'? 31 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:56,853 Hello? 32 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:57,754 - Mr. Kimball? 33 00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,122 - No, this is Eb Dawson. 34 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,923 Just a minute. 35 00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:02,058 Mr. Kimball? 36 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:02,892 - Yes? 37 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:03,726 - Mr. Kimball? 38 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,561 - Yes? 39 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,395 - There's a call for ya. 40 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,763 - Oh. 41 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:07,597 Hello? 42 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:08,798 - Mr. Kimball? 43 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:09,899 - Hi, yes? 44 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,100 Who's this? 45 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,302 It's 4:00 a.m. 46 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,137 - Oh, how are you Ms. A.M.? 47 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:16,306 - No. 48 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,340 You left a call for four. 49 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,241 - I did? 50 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,377 What time is it now? 51 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:21,800 It's 4:00 a.m.! 52 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,203 - Oh, thank you! 53 00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,784 It's 4:00, we better get up. 54 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,653 We're going sight seein'. 55 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,088 A lot of things to see here in, uh, 56 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,112 where are we again? 57 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,091 - Washington! 58 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,048 - Oh, yeah, Washington. 59 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,729 What are we doing here? 60 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:40,997 - We came for the YPAS convention, 61 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,699 only we were a week late. 62 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,633 - How'd that happen? 63 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,235 - You got the dates mixed up! 64 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,769 - With what? 65 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,037 - With... 66 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,421 - Well, I'm going to take a shower. 67 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,441 - I'll go wake the Douglases. 68 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:53,910 Mr. Douglas! 69 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:54,744 Mr. Douglas! 70 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:55,978 - What's the matter? 71 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,514 - Don't you want to go sightseein'? 72 00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:00,049 You go! 73 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:00,817 - What? 74 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,185 - You go! 75 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,209 - Who's Hugo? 76 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,022 - I'm talking to Eb. 77 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,024 - And why are you calling him Hugo? 78 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,460 - I didn't, he wants us to get up 79 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,696 and go sightseeing and I says 'You go.' 80 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:13,630 - Oh? 81 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,064 Who is Hugo? 82 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:19,458 Oh for. 83 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:25,408 - Good morning! 84 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,909 I'm glad to see you're up. 85 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,647 - How can anybody sleep with you hammering on the door? 86 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,349 - Don't you want to go sightseein'? 87 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:34,317 - No, I told you, you go. 88 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,219 - Now why do you keep calling him that? 89 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:40,679 I meant... 90 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,128 Oh, Arnold, what do you want? 91 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,463 - Mr. Kimball is taking a shower 92 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,498 and I guess Arnold wants to use yours. 93 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,400 No, I'm sorry but... 94 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,501 Arnold, no, no. 95 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,458 Hey, Arnold, come here! 96 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,439 Oh, how could he lock the door?! 97 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,608 Arnold, you're not taking a shower 98 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,777 in my, come on out of there! 99 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,317 This can't be happening. 100 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,085 - What do you say? 101 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,287 Are you going sightseein'? 102 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,254 - Well, we might as well, 103 00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:12,922 as long as we are here. 104 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:13,757 - Great. 105 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,725 I'll go get dressed. 106 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,495 Oh, uh, what suit should I wear? 107 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:21,197 - Well, uh, how many did you bring with you? 108 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,221 - One. 109 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,033 - Well, then, why did you ask... 110 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,302 - It's reversible. 111 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,036 On one side it's a business suit 112 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,371 and then you turn it inside out 113 00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,707 and it's a cocktail dress. 114 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:31,808 But with pants. 115 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,745 - Uh, just get dressed. 116 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:36,769 - Yes, sir. 117 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,187 - Are you going to call room service for breakfast? 118 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,455 - No, I'm going to call Mr. Drucker, 119 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,724 see how things are going on the farm. 120 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,426 - At your service, Mr. Kimball. 121 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,228 - No, this is Mr. Douglas. 122 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,464 - Oh, are you still in Mr. Kimball's room? 123 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,866 - No, this is my room. 124 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,957 - Sorry, excuse the ring. 125 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,027 - Hello? 126 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,006 Hello? 127 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,241 - Say hello to Mr. Drucker for me. 128 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,743 - I haven't got him yet. 129 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,211 - Who are you talking to then? 130 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:09,479 - The operator. 131 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,414 - Oh, well then, say hello to her for me. 132 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,082 - Hello? 133 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,384 - Thank you. 134 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,418 - Hello, operator? 135 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:20,044 - Oh, Arnold's finished his shower. 136 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,993 - You stupid pig. 137 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,684 - I beg your pardon! 138 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:29,833 - Hello? 139 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,735 - Who are saying hello to now? 140 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,002 - Nobody. 141 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,706 - Well, no wonder you don't get any answer. 142 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,474 - Oh, why bother? 143 00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,163 I'll call him later. 144 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,383 - Well, are we all going sightseeing today? 145 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,072 - All except Arnold. 146 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,288 - Where's he going? 147 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,557 - To look for a laundromat. 148 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,325 - Well, what will we do? 149 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,627 - I'd like to take me a boat ride 150 00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,729 up the Hudson River. 151 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,631 - Hey, that would be fine, except the Hudson River 152 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,366 happens to be in New York. 153 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,300 - Oh? 154 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,935 What river do they have here? 155 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:06,903 - The Potomac. 156 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,738 - Oh, are we in Chicago? 157 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,206 - No, we're... 158 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,175 - What are you going to do, Oliver? 159 00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:16,345 - What time do the bars open? 160 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,914 - Well, I think I'll do some shopping 161 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,682 and then I drop in at the White House 162 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:22,552 and have lunch with the President. 163 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,387 - Yes, why don't you do that? 164 00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:26,122 - You want to come along, Oliver. 165 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,625 - No, I hear the food isn't so good. 166 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,559 - Oh. 167 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,227 Eb, would you like to have lunch 168 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,328 with the President? 169 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,863 - Golly, dinglefoot. 170 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:34,887 Could I?! 171 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,366 - Lisa, you don't just drop in 172 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:38,435 on the President. 173 00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,837 - Well, he invited me! 174 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,138 - When did he do that? 175 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,006 - Mr. Kimball, would you like to come 176 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,675 and have lunch with the President? 177 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,811 - I'd like to, but I'd better check in 178 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,512 with the Department of Agriculture. 179 00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:51,213 They kind of expect it of their county agents 180 00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:53,939 when they're in, uh, where are we again? 181 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,386 - What time did you say the bar's open? 182 00:07:58,645 --> 00:07:59,889 - Well, if you don't want to come to lunch 183 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,524 with the President, we will. 184 00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:02,781 Come along, Eb. 185 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,296 - Well, I'm off to the Department of Agriculture. 186 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,765 Want to come along with me? 187 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,633 - No, no, I have a few things that I have to do. 188 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,902 I want to call Hooterville and see if 189 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,938 Haney's keeping an eye on my farm. 190 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,405 - Oh, well, I wouldn't worry. 191 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,741 One thing about Haney, he may not be too honest, 192 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,543 but you certainly can't trust him. 193 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,713 - What? 194 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:24,647 - Oh, I'm sure he's taking care of your place 195 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,016 just as if it were his own. 196 00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,195 - You kids keep quiet! 197 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,998 Keep quiet 'til I talk to the man. 198 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,367 Howdy, you the proprietor of this here 199 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,068 Green Acres Inn? 200 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:49,271 - No, I am your host and innkeeper, 201 00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,373 Eustace Haney. 202 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,777 - My name's Walter Hokum and this is my wife Minnie. 203 00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:55,645 - How you do? 204 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,113 - Howdy. 205 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,348 - We saw your signs all along the road 206 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,149 and just followed the green arrows 207 00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,183 right on up here. 208 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,486 - How can I be of service to ya? 209 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,787 - Well, we're looking for a place to stay 210 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,389 for a couple of days. 211 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,524 - You got a reservation? 212 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:08,357 - No. 213 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,592 - No reservation, huh? 214 00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,794 Well that might make it a little difficult, 215 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,363 this being the tourist season. 216 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,667 - Well then what you got that sign up there fer? 217 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,602 Housekeepin' cabin available. 218 00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:22,972 - Oh, you want the deluxe accommodation! 219 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,842 - Don't look too deluxe to me. 220 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,177 - Oh it does to me Walt, we ain't slept in a bed 221 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,246 in three nights. 222 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,313 - Yeah, we're tired! 223 00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:33,639 - Quiet! 224 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,153 How much you charge? 225 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,387 - How many in your party? 226 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,657 - Just me, ma, and the six kids. 227 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,324 - Eight people, huh? 228 00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,193 Well, I guess I can let you have a 229 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,885 flat rate of 60 dollars a night. 230 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,065 - Move over, ma. 231 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,299 - Well, now, of course, now, 232 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,401 I can make you a better rate 233 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,637 if you ain't plannin' on using our swimming pool 234 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:55,994 or tennis court. 235 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,541 - We don't need those. 236 00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:01,844 - Then shall we say 30 dollars a night? 237 00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,079 - Too much. 238 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,747 - You won't be taking in our dinner dance 239 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,883 or playing any golf, will ya? 240 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,484 - Nope. 241 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:11,287 - Then shall we say four dollars? 242 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,388 - We'll take it. 243 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:13,923 Okay, kids, we're stayin' here. 244 00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,614 - Good morning. 245 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:38,948 - Oh, just a minute, sir. 246 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,382 - Oh, that's quite alright. 247 00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:41,651 I'm on the team. 248 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:42,919 A county agent, I just came in to chat 249 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,087 with the big boy. 250 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:45,888 - He has someone with him now. 251 00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:46,956 - Oh. 252 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:47,991 Anybody important? 253 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,258 - The Secretary of Labor. 254 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,426 - Oh. 255 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,050 How long has the secretary been in labor? 256 00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,297 Remember that joke, 257 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,033 probably read it in Drew Pearson's column. 258 00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:58,835 - May I have your name please? 259 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,103 - Oh, certainly. 260 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,270 Well, it's not certainly. 261 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,360 It's Kimball. 262 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,974 - Could I have your first name? 263 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,075 - Of course. 264 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,012 Well, it's not of course, it's Hank. 265 00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,114 Well, not Hank, it's Henry. 266 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,515 - Henry? 267 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,950 - Right. 268 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:17,186 Well, it's not Henry Right, it's Henry Kimball. 269 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,288 Would you like to know my middle name? 270 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,690 - It's not necessary. 271 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:21,624 - Yes, it is. 272 00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,292 Henry Necessary Kimball. 273 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,883 Or is it Narcissus? 274 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:29,098 No, that was my uncle's name. 275 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,432 - Would you have a seat please? 276 00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:31,723 - Oh, thank ya. 277 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:34,727 Well! 278 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,708 Secretary's plate looks a little dingy. 279 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,242 Doesn't give the farmers a feeling of confidence 280 00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:44,368 to see that the Secretary of Agriculture has a, um. 281 00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:48,607 - Will you?! 282 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:53,890 - Who's the fella with the shiny noise? 283 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,625 - That was the Secretary! 284 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:57,593 - Oh boy. 285 00:11:57,617 --> 00:12:00,018 I better go in and apologize. 286 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,465 Oof! 287 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,735 Why, you, what's the meaning of this?! 288 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,536 - Well, uh, nice chatting with you, sir, 289 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,271 and, uh, if you're ever in Albuquerque, 290 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,206 be sure to look me up. 291 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,797 The name is, uh, Dooley Higgins. 292 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,417 - Hello, dear. 293 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:22,719 I'm Lisa Douglas. 294 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:23,652 - Lisa Douglas? 295 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:24,486 - That's right. 296 00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,344 And this is Eb Dawson. 297 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,859 - Uh, I'm sorry, but I don't have your names here 298 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,460 on the President's appointment list. 299 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,162 - That's right, we want to surprise him. 300 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,097 Come along, lad. 301 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,698 - Hold on, just a moment, lady. 302 00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,700 You can't go in there without an appointment. 303 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:40,269 Uh, why don't you call the President's secretary? 304 00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:43,639 - What kind of a White House are you running here? 305 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,141 - I beg your pardon? 306 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,642 - Why, the President told me that whenever I'm in 307 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:49,445 the neighborhood, to drop in and have lunch with him. 308 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,913 Come along, Eb. 309 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,116 - Lady, it isn't the President, it's his cook. 310 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,984 You see, he gets a little annoyed when 311 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,786 people show up unexpectedly. 312 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,755 - He doesn't have to fuss for us. 313 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,322 We'll take potluck. 314 00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,892 - Yeah, nothing fancy, just plain homecookin'. 315 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,994 Hot jiles and chitlins. 316 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,195 - What's that? 317 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,130 - Well, hot jiles are... 318 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,798 - Say, if you two are hungry, 319 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,300 there's a nice cafeteria right across the street. 320 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,902 - Thank you, but we're going to have lunch 321 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:13,936 with the President. 322 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,771 Come on, Eb. 323 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:15,795 - Hold it. 324 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,340 - We're going to be late! 325 00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,743 - Yeah, and we'll tell you it was your fault, 326 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,079 that you weren't very civil with your service. 327 00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,816 - Why don't you two get a couple of picket signs 328 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,818 and go across the street there and walk up 329 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,552 and down, the air will do you some good. 330 00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,354 - We are going to go in 331 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,657 and have lunch with the President! 332 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,681 Come on, Eb. 333 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,516 - Uh, lady? 334 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,100 Sergeant, red alert. 335 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,206 - Will you tell me once more 336 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,574 exactly what happened? 337 00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,343 - Well, they had this policeman 338 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,845 at the gate of the White House 339 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,047 and I told him, we were there to have lunch 340 00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:02,685 with the President and that started a big argument! 341 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:03,719 - Not as big as the one we had inside 342 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,743 with the Marine captain. 343 00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,590 - I don't think that was as bad as the one 344 00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,326 with the Secret Service. 345 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:12,494 - We would have won that one if they hadn't 346 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,118 brought in the FBI. 347 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,366 - Look, how is it you didn't have any trouble 348 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,767 with the Army? 349 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:21,037 - We woulda, but they couldn't get the tanks started. 350 00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,940 - Oh brother. 351 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,675 Look, Lisa, you just don't walk in 352 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,711 and expect to have lunch with the President. 353 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,179 - Why not? 354 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,413 He invited me. 355 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,915 - When? 356 00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,717 - Four years ago when I was here with your mother 357 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:38,554 for the President's inaugurative ball. 358 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,622 - Inauguration ball. 359 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,959 - Anyway, while I was dancing with him, 360 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:46,262 the President said, whenever you are in Washington, 361 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:49,565 honey, you be sure to drop in at the White House 362 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,267 and have lunch with me. 363 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,835 So I dropped. 364 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:56,005 Lisa, don't you realize... 365 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,707 - Anyway, the fellow I danced with doesn't work 366 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,442 in the White House anymore. 367 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:03,379 They've got a new fellow working there. 368 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,547 - Naturally, we had an election. 369 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,216 There's a new President. 370 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,285 - Nobody told me that. 371 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,087 - You voted! 372 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,355 - Not for President. 373 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:13,822 They don't allow us to vote for a big office 374 00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,624 like that in Hooterville. 375 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:18,895 - Oh, you. 376 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,363 Well, look, I'll see what I can do about 377 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,664 getting you out of here. 378 00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,467 - While you're at it, see what you can do for me. 379 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,491 - What the?! 380 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,306 What are you in for? 381 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,807 - Well, for one thing, shining the 382 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,110 Secretary of Agriculture's nose. 383 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,412 - What?! 384 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,246 - Then I walked through the glass door of his office 385 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,882 and, after that, oh boy. 386 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,320 - Well, I ought to be able to get you off 387 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,256 with a plea of temporary insanity. 388 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,525 Well, not temporary. 389 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,294 - Can you get my friend off too? 390 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,697 - What did he do? 391 00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:57,599 - Well, he had a little trouble. 392 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,135 Well, it wasn't a little trouble, 393 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,602 it was a lot of trouble at the laundromat 394 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,071 when he tried to wash his clothes. 395 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,739 - The owner said he didn't want any pigs' clothes 396 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:07,743 in his machine and that made Arnold mad. 397 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:11,847 - Yes, so he bit all the hoses off the machines. 398 00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:14,973 - Things like this just don't happen! 399 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,987 Alright, I'll see what I can do for all of you 400 00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:21,090 and if and when I get you out of here, 401 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,759 we're packing up and going back to the farm 402 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:26,262 and enjoy the peace and quiet! 403 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,238 - How do I look, ma? 404 00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,595 - Oh, beautiful. 405 00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,209 If you wasn't standin' up, I'd swear you was 406 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,078 Cousin Philbert laid out. 407 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,481 Well, which one of these shall I wear today? 408 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,905 - Wear that imitation possum. 409 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,421 Doggone, this is the best equipped 410 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,890 housekeepin' cabin we ever rented. 411 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,392 It's got everything! 412 00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,728 What's going on out there? 413 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,931 - Quiet is stuck in the chimney. 414 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,766 - Well, pull him on it. 415 00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,369 I'm tryin' to! 416 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,603 - Doggone that kid, he's always gettin' stuck 417 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,071 somewhere. 418 00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,139 Did you get him out? 419 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,474 - Just part of him. 420 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,011 - Don't this kind of remind you 421 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,178 of our honeymoon? 422 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,813 - Kinda, 'cept we didn't have as many kids 423 00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:18,837 with us on that. 424 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,018 - I sure wish we could stay here. 425 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,652 - Got a surprise for you, ma. 426 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,122 I just paid that Mr. Haney for another week. 427 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,146 - Oh, pa! 428 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,204 - There you are, Haney. 429 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,672 Two pounds of gumdrops. 430 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:44,907 That'll be 20 cents. 431 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,931 - Any discount for cash? 432 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:48,911 - 20 dollars? 433 00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,413 Where'd you get all that money? 434 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:54,372 - The farm mindin' business is very profitable. 435 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,322 Oh, hello, Mr. Douglas! 436 00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:03,059 - If anybody answers that I'm in big trouble. 437 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,860 - Hi, there, Mr. Drucker. 438 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,650 - I'm in big trouble. 439 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,665 - Oh, hello, Mr. Haney. 440 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,534 - I, uh, believe you have the advantage 441 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:12,834 of me, stranger. 442 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,271 - Mr. Haney? 443 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,738 - When do you folks get back home? 444 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,274 - Uh, about an hour ago. 445 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,675 - We just stopped here on the way from 446 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,777 the Apple to buy some groceries. 447 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,345 - Oh, well, Haney said you were going to be 448 00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:26,537 in Washington another week, didn't ya? 449 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,073 Where'd he go? 450 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:44,933 - Mr. Haney. 451 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,802 - Uh, Mr. Hokum, I just dropped by to tell ya 452 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,537 that your week is up. 453 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,872 Check out time was half an hour ago. 454 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,075 - What are you talking about? 455 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,710 I just paid you this morning for a week. 456 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,579 - I'm sorry, but the people that had the prior 457 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,315 reservation, they're on the way here. 458 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,682 Now you'll have to leave. 459 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:02,151 - Well, we don't want to leave. 460 00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:04,853 - Well, normally I wouldn't impose on you like this, 461 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,323 but this is a special case. 462 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:10,259 You see, this couple spent their honeymoon here 463 00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:13,829 a year ago and now she wants to come back here 464 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,264 to have the baby. 465 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,399 You can understand that. 466 00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:19,368 - Oh, well, uh. 467 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,603 - Good, now thank you. 468 00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:22,471 You just get all the folks together, 469 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,639 get 'em in the car. 470 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,673 - Well, we gotta get packed up. 471 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,908 Take us about half an hour. 472 00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:28,744 - Half an hour, well, I guess I can stall them 473 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:29,845 that long. 474 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,313 - Just a minute. 475 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:34,383 What about that week's rent I paid ya in advance? 476 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,218 - Oh, that's right. 477 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:38,120 Now let's see, that's four dollars a day 478 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,222 for seven days. 479 00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,625 That's, uh, 18 dollars. 480 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,793 - That's, uh, 28 dollars. 481 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:46,629 - Oh, you're right. 482 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,130 I gave you 10 dollars too much. 483 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,688 - You owe me 10. 484 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,269 - Oh, yeah. 485 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,403 There you are. 486 00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,927 Now don't forget, a half hour. 487 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,446 - Mr. Haney, would you... 488 00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,404 - Sorry, road's closed. 489 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,274 - What happened? 490 00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,624 - What bridge? 491 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:18,960 - The one they built while you was in Washington. 492 00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:21,497 - We were only gone three days! 493 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,332 - Just long enough for it to get built 494 00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:24,900 and washed away. 495 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,236 Now you'll have to detour. 496 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,638 Go back to Hooterville, then around through 497 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,874 Crabwell Corners, and then north through Pixley. 498 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,445 It shouldn't take ya more than half an hour. 499 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,480 - Mr. Haney, would you please get your truck 500 00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:39,748 out of the road? 501 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,149 We're going this way. 502 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:42,884 - Very well, I sure hope you make it 503 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,053 with that leaky gas tank. 504 00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,445 - Leaky gas tank? 505 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:53,285 Mr. Haney! 506 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,163 Oh, for. 507 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,298 - What was that all about? 508 00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:57,799 - Oh, I don't know. 509 00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,268 Mr. Haney's trying to stall us for some reason. 510 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:00,536 - What reason? 511 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,994 - Something must have happened at the farm. 512 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,141 What now?! 513 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,757 - I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you all 514 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,893 to get out of the car for inspection. 515 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:28,631 - Why do we have to have our agriculture inspected? 516 00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,165 - Look, we don't have to... 517 00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,500 - It's a state law. 518 00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,335 Anybody being out of the state for more 519 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,505 than 24 hours has to be inspected. 520 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,474 It's the only way we can protect our crops 521 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,709 from the Brazilian tick worm. 522 00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:43,945 - Mr. Haney, will you?! 523 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,581 - Now I have to ask you a few questions. 524 00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,583 Are you carrying any rubber plants? 525 00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:48,450 - No, sir! 526 00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:49,718 - You don't have to... 527 00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:50,753 - Are you bringing in any imitation 528 00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:51,777 potty-divey? 529 00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:54,623 - No, we haven't got any. 530 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,792 - Lisa, he doesn't have any authority to... 531 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,994 - Mr. Douglas, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you 532 00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:01,018 to take your clothes off. 533 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,465 - What?! 534 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:06,234 - Them little boogers hide everywhere. 535 00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:07,936 - Mr. Haney, what are you up to?! 536 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,039 Is there something wrong at our farm? 537 00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:12,708 - Not now, there ain't. 538 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,510 You may proceed. 539 00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:16,111 - Well, move your truck out of the way! 540 00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:17,579 - That'll be six dollars. 541 00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:18,414 - For what? 542 00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:19,870 - The inspection. 543 00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:23,874 Move it! 544 00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:34,596 - Well, the house looks alright. 545 00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:37,666 Not alright, but the way it always look. 546 00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,134 - Very strange. 547 00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:40,669 Eb, take a look in the barn. 548 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,204 See if the cow is still there. 549 00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:43,439 - Yes, sir. 550 00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:44,239 - Haney must have had some reason 551 00:22:44,263 --> 00:22:45,407 for trying to stall us. 552 00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:46,775 Oh! 553 00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:49,010 - Well, you can't blame Mr. Haney for that. 554 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:49,845 - I know. 555 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:50,679 - That always happen. 556 00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:51,613 - I know. 557 00:22:51,637 --> 00:22:52,348 - From the day we moved in. 558 00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:53,615 - I know. 559 00:22:53,639 --> 00:22:55,050 - Then you can't blame Mr. Haney for that. 560 00:22:55,074 --> 00:22:56,907 - I'm not blaming him! 561 00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:04,893 - Well that always happen too. 562 00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:05,761 - There doesn't seem to be anything 563 00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:07,696 wrong in here. 564 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,388 I wonder how the living room is? 565 00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:14,403 Well this seems to be, uh, 566 00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:15,427 who's this? 567 00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:17,272 - Howdy! 568 00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:18,841 - Uh. 569 00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:21,410 - Hate to intrude on ya in your moment of birth, ma'am. 570 00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:23,479 - In our moment of...? 571 00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:25,280 - This gonna be your first, ma'am? 572 00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:26,615 - My first what? 573 00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:27,616 - Baby. 574 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,150 - Oh yes, I think so. 575 00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:31,152 - Look, Mr. Um. 576 00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:32,921 - I'll be out of your way in a minute. 577 00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:35,513 Come on down out of there, son. 578 00:23:37,383 --> 00:23:39,160 Oh, look at ya. 579 00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:40,184 Scat! 580 00:23:41,186 --> 00:23:42,664 - What was he doing in the fireplace? 581 00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:44,833 - Well, we packed in such a hurry, we forgot him. 582 00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:46,334 We've got six of them, ma'am. 583 00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,203 It's easy to lose track of one of them. 584 00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:50,806 - Oh, well, the same thing used to happen in our family. 585 00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:53,942 My father always walked off without one of us. 586 00:23:53,966 --> 00:23:55,143 Mostly my mother. 587 00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:57,579 - Lisa! 588 00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:00,905 - Well, I sure hate to leave this motel. 589 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,184 - Motel? 590 00:24:03,208 --> 00:24:04,686 - Oh, by the way, the closets are just full 591 00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:06,187 of purty clothes. 592 00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:09,491 And Mr. Haney told us to feel free to wear 'em. 593 00:24:09,515 --> 00:24:10,926 - You were wearing... 594 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,694 - One more thing, don't let that Haney 595 00:24:12,718 --> 00:24:14,663 stick you for more than four dollars a night 596 00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:16,420 unless you play golf. 597 00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:18,266 - Four dollars? 598 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:19,623 - Well, so long. 599 00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:22,471 Sure hope it's a girl, ma'am, so she'll be 600 00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:23,928 as pretty as you. 601 00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:26,274 - Thank you. 602 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,643 - Of all the, 603 00:24:27,667 --> 00:24:29,244 do you realize what Haney did? 604 00:24:29,268 --> 00:24:31,713 He rented this house for four dollars 605 00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:34,115 and he gave them permission to wear. 606 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,684 Where are you going? 607 00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:36,652 - To get into bed. 608 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:39,220 And you better get the doctor. 609 00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:40,889 - Oh, what's the matter? 610 00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:42,925 - Well, you heard what the man said. 611 00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:44,693 I'm going to have a baby! 612 00:25:26,826 --> 00:25:30,995 This has been a Filmways presentation, darling. 38515

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