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♪ Green Acres is the place to be
2
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:25,802
♪ Farm livin'
is the life for me.
3
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:29,772
♪ Land spreadin'
out so far and wide
4
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:33,943
♪ Keep Manhattan, just
give me that countryside
5
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:37,981
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
6
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:41,818
♪ I get allergic smelling hay
7
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,822
♪ I just adore a penthouse view
8
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:50,015
♪ Darling, I love you,
but give me Park Avenue
9
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,230
♪ The chores!
10
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,265
♪ The stores!
11
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,200
♪ Fresh air!
12
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,368
♪ Times Square!
13
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,738
♪ You are my wife
♪ Goodbye city life!
14
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:05,431
♪ Green Acres, we are there
15
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,664
- Good morning, Eleanor.
16
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:44,769
Just part of the Haney
Farm Minding service.
17
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:49,286
Now then, what will
ya have for breakfast?
18
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,788
Alfalfa, Timothy, or oats?
19
00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:55,858
Alfalfa, it is.
20
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:58,528
Sure hope you'll
tell Mr. Douglas what
21
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,863
a good job I'm doing
taking care of you
22
00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:02,954
while he's in Washington.
23
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,347
- Hello?
24
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,381
- Good morning,
Mr. Kimball, it's 4:00 a.m.,
25
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,083
time to get up!
26
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:24,154
- I'm not Mr. Kimball,
he's in the next room.
27
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,345
- Sorry, go back to sleep.
28
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,409
- Mr. Kimball, 4:00
a.m., time to get up.
29
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,113
- Mr. Kimball?
30
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,806
- Arnold, who are you callin'?
31
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:56,853
Hello?
32
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:57,754
- Mr. Kimball?
33
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,122
- No, this is Eb Dawson.
34
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,923
Just a minute.
35
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:02,058
Mr. Kimball?
36
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:02,892
- Yes?
37
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:03,726
- Mr. Kimball?
38
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,561
- Yes?
39
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,395
- There's a call for ya.
40
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,763
- Oh.
41
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:07,597
Hello?
42
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:08,798
- Mr. Kimball?
43
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:09,899
- Hi, yes?
44
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,100
Who's this?
45
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,302
It's 4:00 a.m.
46
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,137
- Oh, how are you Ms. A.M.?
47
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:16,306
- No.
48
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,340
You left a call for four.
49
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,241
- I did?
50
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,377
What time is it now?
51
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:21,800
It's 4:00 a.m.!
52
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,203
- Oh, thank you!
53
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,784
It's 4:00, we better get up.
54
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,653
We're going sight seein'.
55
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,088
A lot of things to
see here in, uh,
56
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,112
where are we again?
57
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,091
- Washington!
58
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,048
- Oh, yeah, Washington.
59
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,729
What are we doing here?
60
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:40,997
- We came for the
YPAS convention,
61
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,699
only we were a week late.
62
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,633
- How'd that happen?
63
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,235
- You got the dates mixed up!
64
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,769
- With what?
65
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,037
- With...
66
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,421
- Well, I'm going
to take a shower.
67
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,441
- I'll go wake the Douglases.
68
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:53,910
Mr. Douglas!
69
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:54,744
Mr. Douglas!
70
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:55,978
- What's the matter?
71
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,514
- Don't you want
to go sightseein'?
72
00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:00,049
You go!
73
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:00,817
- What?
74
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,185
- You go!
75
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,209
- Who's Hugo?
76
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,022
- I'm talking to Eb.
77
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,024
- And why are you
calling him Hugo?
78
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,460
- I didn't, he
wants us to get up
79
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,696
and go sightseeing
and I says 'You go.'
80
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:13,630
- Oh?
81
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,064
Who is Hugo?
82
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:19,458
Oh for.
83
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:25,408
- Good morning!
84
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,909
I'm glad to see you're up.
85
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,647
- How can anybody sleep with
you hammering on the door?
86
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,349
- Don't you want
to go sightseein'?
87
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:34,317
- No, I told you, you go.
88
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,219
- Now why do you
keep calling him that?
89
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:40,679
I meant...
90
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,128
Oh, Arnold, what do you want?
91
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,463
- Mr. Kimball is taking a shower
92
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,498
and I guess Arnold
wants to use yours.
93
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,400
No, I'm sorry but...
94
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,501
Arnold, no, no.
95
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,458
Hey, Arnold, come here!
96
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,439
Oh, how could he lock the door?!
97
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,608
Arnold, you're not
taking a shower
98
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,777
in my, come on out of there!
99
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,317
This can't be happening.
100
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,085
- What do you say?
101
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,287
Are you going sightseein'?
102
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,254
- Well, we might as well,
103
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:12,922
as long as we are here.
104
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:13,757
- Great.
105
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,725
I'll go get dressed.
106
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,495
Oh, uh, what suit should I wear?
107
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:21,197
- Well, uh, how many
did you bring with you?
108
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,221
- One.
109
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,033
- Well, then, why did you ask...
110
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,302
- It's reversible.
111
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,036
On one side it's a business suit
112
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,371
and then you turn it inside out
113
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,707
and it's a cocktail dress.
114
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:31,808
But with pants.
115
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,745
- Uh, just get dressed.
116
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:36,769
- Yes, sir.
117
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,187
- Are you going to call
room service for breakfast?
118
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,455
- No, I'm going to
call Mr. Drucker,
119
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,724
see how things are
going on the farm.
120
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,426
- At your service, Mr. Kimball.
121
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:52,228
- No, this is Mr. Douglas.
122
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,464
- Oh, are you still in
Mr. Kimball's room?
123
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,866
- No, this is my room.
124
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,957
- Sorry, excuse the ring.
125
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,027
- Hello?
126
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,006
Hello?
127
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,241
- Say hello to
Mr. Drucker for me.
128
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,743
- I haven't got him yet.
129
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,211
- Who are you talking to then?
130
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:09,479
- The operator.
131
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,414
- Oh, well then, say
hello to her for me.
132
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,082
- Hello?
133
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,384
- Thank you.
134
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,418
- Hello, operator?
135
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:20,044
- Oh, Arnold's
finished his shower.
136
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,993
- You stupid pig.
137
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,684
- I beg your pardon!
138
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:29,833
- Hello?
139
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,735
- Who are saying hello to now?
140
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,002
- Nobody.
141
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,706
- Well, no wonder you
don't get any answer.
142
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,474
- Oh, why bother?
143
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,163
I'll call him later.
144
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,383
- Well, are we all going
sightseeing today?
145
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,072
- All except Arnold.
146
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,288
- Where's he going?
147
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,557
- To look for a laundromat.
148
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,325
- Well, what will we do?
149
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,627
- I'd like to take
me a boat ride
150
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,729
up the Hudson River.
151
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,631
- Hey, that would be fine,
except the Hudson River
152
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,366
happens to be in New York.
153
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,300
- Oh?
154
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,935
What river do they have here?
155
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:06,903
- The Potomac.
156
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,738
- Oh, are we in Chicago?
157
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,206
- No, we're...
158
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,175
- What are you
going to do, Oliver?
159
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:16,345
- What time do the bars open?
160
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,914
- Well, I think I'll
do some shopping
161
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,682
and then I drop in
at the White House
162
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:22,552
and have lunch
with the President.
163
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,387
- Yes, why don't you do that?
164
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:26,122
- You want to
come along, Oliver.
165
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,625
- No, I hear the
food isn't so good.
166
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,559
- Oh.
167
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,227
Eb, would you like to have lunch
168
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,328
with the President?
169
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,863
- Golly, dinglefoot.
170
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:34,887
Could I?!
171
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,366
- Lisa, you don't just drop in
172
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:38,435
on the President.
173
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,837
- Well, he invited me!
174
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,138
- When did he do that?
175
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,006
- Mr. Kimball, would
you like to come
176
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,675
and have lunch
with the President?
177
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,811
- I'd like to, but
I'd better check in
178
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,512
with the Department
of Agriculture.
179
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:51,213
They kind of expect it
of their county agents
180
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:53,939
when they're in, uh,
where are we again?
181
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,386
- What time did you
say the bar's open?
182
00:07:58,645 --> 00:07:59,889
- Well, if you don't
want to come to lunch
183
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,524
with the President, we will.
184
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:02,781
Come along, Eb.
185
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,296
- Well, I'm off to the
Department of Agriculture.
186
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,765
Want to come along with me?
187
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,633
- No, no, I have a few
things that I have to do.
188
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,902
I want to call
Hooterville and see if
189
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,938
Haney's keeping
an eye on my farm.
190
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,405
- Oh, well, I wouldn't worry.
191
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,741
One thing about Haney,
he may not be too honest,
192
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,543
but you certainly
can't trust him.
193
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,713
- What?
194
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:24,647
- Oh, I'm sure he's
taking care of your place
195
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,016
just as if it were his own.
196
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,195
- You kids keep quiet!
197
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,998
Keep quiet 'til I
talk to the man.
198
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,367
Howdy, you the
proprietor of this here
199
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,068
Green Acres Inn?
200
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:49,271
- No, I am your
host and innkeeper,
201
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,373
Eustace Haney.
202
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,777
- My name's Walter Hokum
and this is my wife Minnie.
203
00:08:54,801 --> 00:08:55,645
- How you do?
204
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,113
- Howdy.
205
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,348
- We saw your signs
all along the road
206
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,149
and just followed
the green arrows
207
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,183
right on up here.
208
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,486
- How can I be of service to ya?
209
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,787
- Well, we're looking
for a place to stay
210
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,389
for a couple of days.
211
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,524
- You got a reservation?
212
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:08,357
- No.
213
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,592
- No reservation, huh?
214
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,794
Well that might
make it a little difficult,
215
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,363
this being the tourist season.
216
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,667
- Well then what you
got that sign up there fer?
217
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,602
Housekeepin' cabin available.
218
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:22,972
- Oh, you want the
deluxe accommodation!
219
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,842
- Don't look too deluxe to me.
220
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,177
- Oh it does to me Walt,
we ain't slept in a bed
221
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,246
in three nights.
222
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,313
- Yeah, we're tired!
223
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:33,639
- Quiet!
224
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,153
How much you charge?
225
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,387
- How many in your party?
226
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,657
- Just me, ma, and the six kids.
227
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,324
- Eight people, huh?
228
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,193
Well, I guess I
can let you have a
229
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,885
flat rate of 60 dollars a night.
230
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,065
- Move over, ma.
231
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,299
- Well, now, of course, now,
232
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,401
I can make you a better rate
233
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,637
if you ain't plannin' on
using our swimming pool
234
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:55,994
or tennis court.
235
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,541
- We don't need those.
236
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:01,844
- Then shall we say
30 dollars a night?
237
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,079
- Too much.
238
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,747
- You won't be taking
in our dinner dance
239
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,883
or playing any golf, will ya?
240
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,484
- Nope.
241
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:11,287
- Then shall we
say four dollars?
242
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,388
- We'll take it.
243
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:13,923
Okay, kids, we're stayin' here.
244
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,614
- Good morning.
245
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:38,948
- Oh, just a minute, sir.
246
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,382
- Oh, that's quite alright.
247
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:41,651
I'm on the team.
248
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:42,919
A county agent, I
just came in to chat
249
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,087
with the big boy.
250
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:45,888
- He has someone with him now.
251
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:46,956
- Oh.
252
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:47,991
Anybody important?
253
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,258
- The Secretary of Labor.
254
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,426
- Oh.
255
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,050
How long has the
secretary been in labor?
256
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,297
Remember that joke,
257
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,033
probably read it in
Drew Pearson's column.
258
00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:58,835
- May I have your name please?
259
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,103
- Oh, certainly.
260
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,270
Well, it's not certainly.
261
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,360
It's Kimball.
262
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,974
- Could I have your first name?
263
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,075
- Of course.
264
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,012
Well, it's not of
course, it's Hank.
265
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,114
Well, not Hank, it's Henry.
266
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,515
- Henry?
267
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,950
- Right.
268
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:17,186
Well, it's not Henry
Right, it's Henry Kimball.
269
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,288
Would you like to
know my middle name?
270
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,690
- It's not necessary.
271
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:21,624
- Yes, it is.
272
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,292
Henry Necessary Kimball.
273
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,883
Or is it Narcissus?
274
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:29,098
No, that was my uncle's name.
275
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,432
- Would you have a seat please?
276
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:31,723
- Oh, thank ya.
277
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:34,727
Well!
278
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,708
Secretary's plate
looks a little dingy.
279
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,242
Doesn't give the farmers
a feeling of confidence
280
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:44,368
to see that the Secretary
of Agriculture has a, um.
281
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:48,607
- Will you?!
282
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:53,890
- Who's the fella
with the shiny noise?
283
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,625
- That was the Secretary!
284
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:57,593
- Oh boy.
285
00:11:57,617 --> 00:12:00,018
I better go in and apologize.
286
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,465
Oof!
287
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,735
Why, you, what's
the meaning of this?!
288
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,536
- Well, uh, nice
chatting with you, sir,
289
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,271
and, uh, if you're
ever in Albuquerque,
290
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,206
be sure to look me up.
291
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,797
The name is, uh, Dooley Higgins.
292
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,417
- Hello, dear.
293
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:22,719
I'm Lisa Douglas.
294
00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:23,652
- Lisa Douglas?
295
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:24,486
- That's right.
296
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,344
And this is Eb Dawson.
297
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,859
- Uh, I'm sorry, but I don't
have your names here
298
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,460
on the President's
appointment list.
299
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,162
- That's right, we
want to surprise him.
300
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,097
Come along, lad.
301
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,698
- Hold on, just a moment, lady.
302
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,700
You can't go in there
without an appointment.
303
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:40,269
Uh, why don't you call
the President's secretary?
304
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:43,639
- What kind of a White
House are you running here?
305
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,141
- I beg your pardon?
306
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,642
- Why, the President told
me that whenever I'm in
307
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:49,445
the neighborhood, to drop
in and have lunch with him.
308
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,913
Come along, Eb.
309
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,116
- Lady, it isn't the
President, it's his cook.
310
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,984
You see, he gets a
little annoyed when
311
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,786
people show up unexpectedly.
312
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,755
- He doesn't
have to fuss for us.
313
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,322
We'll take potluck.
314
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,892
- Yeah, nothing fancy,
just plain homecookin'.
315
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,994
Hot jiles and chitlins.
316
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,195
- What's that?
317
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,130
- Well, hot jiles are...
318
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,798
- Say, if you two are hungry,
319
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,300
there's a nice cafeteria
right across the street.
320
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,902
- Thank you, but we're
going to have lunch
321
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:13,936
with the President.
322
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,771
Come on, Eb.
323
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:15,795
- Hold it.
324
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,340
- We're going to be late!
325
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,743
- Yeah, and we'll tell
you it was your fault,
326
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,079
that you weren't very
civil with your service.
327
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,816
- Why don't you two get
a couple of picket signs
328
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,818
and go across the
street there and walk up
329
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,552
and down, the air
will do you some good.
330
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,354
- We are going to go in
331
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,657
and have lunch
with the President!
332
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,681
Come on, Eb.
333
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,516
- Uh, lady?
334
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,100
Sergeant, red alert.
335
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,206
- Will you tell me once more
336
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,574
exactly what happened?
337
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,343
- Well, they had this policeman
338
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,845
at the gate of the White House
339
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,047
and I told him, we
were there to have lunch
340
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:02,685
with the President and
that started a big argument!
341
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:03,719
- Not as big as the
one we had inside
342
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,743
with the Marine captain.
343
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,590
- I don't think that
was as bad as the one
344
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,326
with the Secret Service.
345
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:12,494
- We would have won
that one if they hadn't
346
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,118
brought in the FBI.
347
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,366
- Look, how is it you
didn't have any trouble
348
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,767
with the Army?
349
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:21,037
- We woulda, but they
couldn't get the tanks started.
350
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,940
- Oh brother.
351
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,675
Look, Lisa, you
just don't walk in
352
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,711
and expect to have
lunch with the President.
353
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,179
- Why not?
354
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,413
He invited me.
355
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,915
- When?
356
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,717
- Four years ago when I
was here with your mother
357
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:38,554
for the President's
inaugurative ball.
358
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,622
- Inauguration ball.
359
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,959
- Anyway, while I
was dancing with him,
360
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:46,262
the President said, whenever
you are in Washington,
361
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:49,565
honey, you be sure to
drop in at the White House
362
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,267
and have lunch with me.
363
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,835
So I dropped.
364
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:56,005
Lisa, don't you realize...
365
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,707
- Anyway, the fellow I
danced with doesn't work
366
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,442
in the White House anymore.
367
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:03,379
They've got a new
fellow working there.
368
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,547
- Naturally, we had an election.
369
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,216
There's a new President.
370
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,285
- Nobody told me that.
371
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,087
- You voted!
372
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,355
- Not for President.
373
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:13,822
They don't allow us
to vote for a big office
374
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,624
like that in Hooterville.
375
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:18,895
- Oh, you.
376
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,363
Well, look, I'll see
what I can do about
377
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,664
getting you out of here.
378
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,467
- While you're at it, see
what you can do for me.
379
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,491
- What the?!
380
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,306
What are you in for?
381
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,807
- Well, for one
thing, shining the
382
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,110
Secretary of Agriculture's nose.
383
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,412
- What?!
384
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,246
- Then I walked through
the glass door of his office
385
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,882
and, after that, oh boy.
386
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:44,320
- Well, I ought to
be able to get you off
387
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,256
with a plea of
temporary insanity.
388
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,525
Well, not temporary.
389
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,294
- Can you get my friend off too?
390
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,697
- What did he do?
391
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:57,599
- Well, he had a little trouble.
392
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,135
Well, it wasn't
a little trouble,
393
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,602
it was a lot of trouble
at the laundromat
394
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,071
when he tried to
wash his clothes.
395
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,739
- The owner said he
didn't want any pigs' clothes
396
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:07,743
in his machine and
that made Arnold mad.
397
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:11,847
- Yes, so he bit all the
hoses off the machines.
398
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:14,973
- Things like this
just don't happen!
399
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,987
Alright, I'll see what
I can do for all of you
400
00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:21,090
and if and when I
get you out of here,
401
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,759
we're packing up and
going back to the farm
402
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:26,262
and enjoy the peace and quiet!
403
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,238
- How do I look, ma?
404
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:37,595
- Oh, beautiful.
405
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,209
If you wasn't standin'
up, I'd swear you was
406
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,078
Cousin Philbert laid out.
407
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,481
Well, which one of
these shall I wear today?
408
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,905
- Wear that imitation possum.
409
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,421
Doggone, this is
the best equipped
410
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,890
housekeepin' cabin
we ever rented.
411
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,392
It's got everything!
412
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,728
What's going on out there?
413
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,931
- Quiet is stuck in the chimney.
414
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,766
- Well, pull him on it.
415
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,369
I'm tryin' to!
416
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,603
- Doggone that kid,
he's always gettin' stuck
417
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,071
somewhere.
418
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,139
Did you get him out?
419
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,474
- Just part of him.
420
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,011
- Don't this kind of remind you
421
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,178
of our honeymoon?
422
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,813
- Kinda, 'cept we
didn't have as many kids
423
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:18,837
with us on that.
424
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,018
- I sure wish we
could stay here.
425
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,652
- Got a surprise for you, ma.
426
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,122
I just paid that Mr. Haney
for another week.
427
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,146
- Oh, pa!
428
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,204
- There you are, Haney.
429
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,672
Two pounds of gumdrops.
430
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:44,907
That'll be 20 cents.
431
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,931
- Any discount for cash?
432
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:48,911
- 20 dollars?
433
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,413
Where'd you get all that money?
434
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:54,372
- The farm mindin'
business is very profitable.
435
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,322
Oh, hello, Mr. Douglas!
436
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:03,059
- If anybody answers
that I'm in big trouble.
437
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,860
- Hi, there, Mr. Drucker.
438
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,650
- I'm in big trouble.
439
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,665
- Oh, hello, Mr. Haney.
440
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,534
- I, uh, believe you
have the advantage
441
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:12,834
of me, stranger.
442
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,271
- Mr. Haney?
443
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,738
- When do you
folks get back home?
444
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,274
- Uh, about an hour ago.
445
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,675
- We just stopped
here on the way from
446
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,777
the Apple to buy some groceries.
447
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,345
- Oh, well, Haney said
you were going to be
448
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:26,537
in Washington
another week, didn't ya?
449
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,073
Where'd he go?
450
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:44,933
- Mr. Haney.
451
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,802
- Uh, Mr. Hokum, I
just dropped by to tell ya
452
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,537
that your week is up.
453
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,872
Check out time
was half an hour ago.
454
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,075
- What are you talking about?
455
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,710
I just paid you this
morning for a week.
456
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,579
- I'm sorry, but the
people that had the prior
457
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,315
reservation, they're
on the way here.
458
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,682
Now you'll have to leave.
459
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:02,151
- Well, we don't want to leave.
460
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:04,853
- Well, normally I wouldn't
impose on you like this,
461
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,323
but this is a special case.
462
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:10,259
You see, this couple
spent their honeymoon here
463
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:13,829
a year ago and now she
wants to come back here
464
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,264
to have the baby.
465
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,399
You can understand that.
466
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:19,368
- Oh, well, uh.
467
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,603
- Good, now thank you.
468
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:22,471
You just get all
the folks together,
469
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,639
get 'em in the car.
470
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,673
- Well, we gotta get packed up.
471
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,908
Take us about half an hour.
472
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:28,744
- Half an hour, well, I
guess I can stall them
473
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:29,845
that long.
474
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,313
- Just a minute.
475
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:34,383
What about that week's
rent I paid ya in advance?
476
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,218
- Oh, that's right.
477
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:38,120
Now let's see, that's
four dollars a day
478
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,222
for seven days.
479
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,625
That's, uh, 18 dollars.
480
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,793
- That's, uh, 28 dollars.
481
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:46,629
- Oh, you're right.
482
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,130
I gave you 10 dollars too much.
483
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,688
- You owe me 10.
484
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,269
- Oh, yeah.
485
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,403
There you are.
486
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,927
Now don't forget, a half hour.
487
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,446
- Mr. Haney, would you...
488
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,404
- Sorry, road's closed.
489
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,274
- What happened?
490
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,624
- What bridge?
491
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:18,960
- The one they built while
you was in Washington.
492
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:21,497
- We were only gone three days!
493
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,332
- Just long enough
for it to get built
494
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:24,900
and washed away.
495
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,236
Now you'll have to detour.
496
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,638
Go back to Hooterville,
then around through
497
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,874
Crabwell Corners, and
then north through Pixley.
498
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,445
It shouldn't take ya
more than half an hour.
499
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,480
- Mr. Haney, would
you please get your truck
500
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:39,748
out of the road?
501
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,149
We're going this way.
502
00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:42,884
- Very well, I sure
hope you make it
503
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,053
with that leaky gas tank.
504
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,445
- Leaky gas tank?
505
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:53,285
Mr. Haney!
506
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,163
Oh, for.
507
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,298
- What was that all about?
508
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:57,799
- Oh, I don't know.
509
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,268
Mr. Haney's trying to
stall us for some reason.
510
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:00,536
- What reason?
511
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,994
- Something must have
happened at the farm.
512
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,141
What now?!
513
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:21,757
- I'm sorry, but I'll
have to ask you all
514
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,893
to get out of the
car for inspection.
515
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:28,631
- Why do we have to have
our agriculture inspected?
516
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,165
- Look, we don't have to...
517
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,500
- It's a state law.
518
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,335
Anybody being out
of the state for more
519
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,505
than 24 hours has
to be inspected.
520
00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,474
It's the only way we
can protect our crops
521
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,709
from the Brazilian tick worm.
522
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:43,945
- Mr. Haney, will you?!
523
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,581
- Now I have to ask
you a few questions.
524
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,583
Are you carrying
any rubber plants?
525
00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:48,450
- No, sir!
526
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:49,718
- You don't have to...
527
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:50,753
- Are you bringing
in any imitation
528
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:51,777
potty-divey?
529
00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:54,623
- No, we haven't got any.
530
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,792
- Lisa, he doesn't
have any authority to...
531
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,994
- Mr. Douglas, I'm
afraid I'll have to ask you
532
00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:01,018
to take your clothes off.
533
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,465
- What?!
534
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:06,234
- Them little boogers
hide everywhere.
535
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:07,936
- Mr. Haney, what
are you up to?!
536
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,039
Is there something
wrong at our farm?
537
00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:12,708
- Not now, there ain't.
538
00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,510
You may proceed.
539
00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:16,111
- Well, move your
truck out of the way!
540
00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:17,579
- That'll be six dollars.
541
00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:18,414
- For what?
542
00:22:18,438 --> 00:22:19,870
- The inspection.
543
00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:23,874
Move it!
544
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:34,596
- Well, the house looks alright.
545
00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:37,666
Not alright, but the
way it always look.
546
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,134
- Very strange.
547
00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:40,669
Eb, take a look in the barn.
548
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,204
See if the cow is still there.
549
00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:43,439
- Yes, sir.
550
00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:44,239
- Haney must have
had some reason
551
00:22:44,263 --> 00:22:45,407
for trying to stall us.
552
00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:46,775
Oh!
553
00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:49,010
- Well, you can't blame
Mr. Haney for that.
554
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:49,845
- I know.
555
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:50,679
- That always happen.
556
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:51,613
- I know.
557
00:22:51,637 --> 00:22:52,348
- From the day we moved in.
558
00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:53,615
- I know.
559
00:22:53,639 --> 00:22:55,050
- Then you can't blame
Mr. Haney for that.
560
00:22:55,074 --> 00:22:56,907
- I'm not blaming him!
561
00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:04,893
- Well that always happen too.
562
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:05,761
- There doesn't
seem to be anything
563
00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:07,696
wrong in here.
564
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,388
I wonder how the living room is?
565
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:14,403
Well this seems to be, uh,
566
00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:15,427
who's this?
567
00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:17,272
- Howdy!
568
00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:18,841
- Uh.
569
00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:21,410
- Hate to intrude on ya in
your moment of birth, ma'am.
570
00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:23,479
- In our moment of...?
571
00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:25,280
- This gonna be
your first, ma'am?
572
00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:26,615
- My first what?
573
00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:27,616
- Baby.
574
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,150
- Oh yes, I think so.
575
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:31,152
- Look, Mr. Um.
576
00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:32,921
- I'll be out of your
way in a minute.
577
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:35,513
Come on down out of there, son.
578
00:23:37,383 --> 00:23:39,160
Oh, look at ya.
579
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:40,184
Scat!
580
00:23:41,186 --> 00:23:42,664
- What was he
doing in the fireplace?
581
00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:44,833
- Well, we packed in
such a hurry, we forgot him.
582
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:46,334
We've got six of them, ma'am.
583
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,203
It's easy to lose
track of one of them.
584
00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:50,806
- Oh, well, the same thing
used to happen in our family.
585
00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:53,942
My father always walked
off without one of us.
586
00:23:53,966 --> 00:23:55,143
Mostly my mother.
587
00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:57,579
- Lisa!
588
00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:00,905
- Well, I sure hate
to leave this motel.
589
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,184
- Motel?
590
00:24:03,208 --> 00:24:04,686
- Oh, by the way,
the closets are just full
591
00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:06,187
of purty clothes.
592
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:09,491
And Mr. Haney told us
to feel free to wear 'em.
593
00:24:09,515 --> 00:24:10,926
- You were wearing...
594
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,694
- One more thing,
don't let that Haney
595
00:24:12,718 --> 00:24:14,663
stick you for more
than four dollars a night
596
00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:16,420
unless you play golf.
597
00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:18,266
- Four dollars?
598
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:19,623
- Well, so long.
599
00:24:20,893 --> 00:24:22,471
Sure hope it's a girl,
ma'am, so she'll be
600
00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:23,928
as pretty as you.
601
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:26,274
- Thank you.
602
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,643
- Of all the,
603
00:24:27,667 --> 00:24:29,244
do you realize what Haney did?
604
00:24:29,268 --> 00:24:31,713
He rented this
house for four dollars
605
00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:34,115
and he gave them
permission to wear.
606
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,684
Where are you going?
607
00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:36,652
- To get into bed.
608
00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:39,220
And you better get the doctor.
609
00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:40,889
- Oh, what's the matter?
610
00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:42,925
- Well, you heard
what the man said.
611
00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:44,693
I'm going to have a baby!
612
00:25:26,826 --> 00:25:30,995
This has been a Filmways
presentation, darling.
38515
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