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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,999 ♪ Green Acres is the place to be 2 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:26,003 ♪ Farm living is the life for me 3 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:29,939 ♪ Land spreadin' out so far and wide 4 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:34,144 ♪ Keep Manhattan just give me that countryside 5 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:38,115 ♪ New York is where I'd rather stay 6 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:42,152 ♪ I get allergic smelling hay 7 00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:46,089 ♪ I just adore a penthouse view 8 00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:50,282 ♪ Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue 9 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:57,334 ♪ The chores ♪ The stores ♪ Fresh air 10 00:00:57,358 --> 00:01:00,203 ♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife 11 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,938 ♪ Goodbye city life 12 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:06,131 ♪ Green Acres we are there ♪ 13 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,258 - The answer is no. 14 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:22,325 - But, Mr. Douglas! 15 00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:23,527 - No. 16 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:24,627 - Can't you ever say anything but no? 17 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:25,462 - Yes. 18 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:26,496 - Oh, you know the word. 19 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,630 - Yes. 20 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:28,932 - It's easy to say, ain't it? - Yes. 21 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,967 - Can I go on the trip? - No. 22 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:33,570 - Here we are, back to the old dirty word again. 23 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,638 - Eb, I don't want to hear anything more about it. 24 00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:41,778 Lisa, I wan... - Did you change your mind? 25 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:42,946 - How did you? 26 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,047 - I climbed in through the window. 27 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:46,316 Now, what do you say, can I go? 28 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,340 - No! 29 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:49,352 - Boy, you're just as hard to get along 30 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,288 with inside as you are outside. 31 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:53,790 - Look, Eb, I... 32 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,858 - Now, what are you two arguing about? 33 00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:59,062 - Dad is being perfectly horrible. 34 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:00,830 - I am not your father! 35 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:03,866 - I'm glad, because you're perfectly horrible. 36 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:06,002 - Now, what did you do to Eb? 37 00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,504 - Nothing! 38 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,273 - Then why does he have such a low opinion of you? 39 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,774 - He asked me if he could take a week off, 40 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,276 and I said no. 41 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:16,346 - That's the word that gave me such a low opinion of him. 42 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,181 - Why do you want a week off, Eb? 43 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,584 - Well, as you know, I'm a member of the HYPAS. 44 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,419 That's the Hooterville Young People's Agricultural 45 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:25,021 Society, which is a branch of the SYPAS. 46 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:27,957 That's the State Young People's Agricultural Society, 47 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,860 which is affiliated with the NYPAS, which is the National 48 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:34,164 Young People's Agricultural Society. 49 00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,166 And the HYPAS has been invited by the SYPAS 50 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:39,436 to a convention given by the NYPAS. 51 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,138 - Why don't you want him to go? 52 00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:42,672 - Because I need him... 53 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,807 - Well, you always had such a good time on conventions. 54 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,010 Remember that lawyer's convention you went to 55 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,045 when the girls were dancing out of the cake, 56 00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:52,115 and they were throwing water bombs out the window? 57 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:55,285 And then the police came and raided the place. 58 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:56,719 - That wasn't a convention. 59 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,688 That was your brother's birthday party. 60 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,757 - Oh. 61 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,025 - This is gonna be in Washington. 62 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,693 I've never been there before. 63 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,129 It'll gimme a chance to see their famous monuments, 64 00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,265 like the Statue of Liberty, the Bunker Hill 65 00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,732 and the Eiffel Tower. 66 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,069 - Those things aren't in Washington! 67 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,159 - Since when? 68 00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:16,373 - Lisa, the Eiffel... 69 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,674 - They must have something in Washington 70 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,108 that's worth seeing. 71 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:22,412 - They do, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, 72 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,814 the White House, the Smithsonian Institute. 73 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:27,850 - Golly, it sounds real funky. 74 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,320 - Oliver, you ought to let him go. 75 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,756 Every boy should have a little flunk in his life. 76 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,192 - The word is funky. 77 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:37,661 It means... - Never mind what it means. 78 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:38,628 - Can I go? 79 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:39,896 - No! 80 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,898 - Gosh all shankins, how's it gonna look 81 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,533 when everybody else in our chapter goes 82 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,134 and I have to stay home? 83 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,404 - You mean all the other kids are going? 84 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,572 - I think so. 85 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:49,739 Mr. Kimball is taking a vote on it 86 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,408 at the HYPAS meeting tonight. 87 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,509 - Mr. Kimball? 88 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,579 - Yeah, he's our hype master. 89 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:58,147 - Oliver, if everybody in the HYPAS is going, 90 00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,105 you ought to let Eb go. 91 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,820 - Well, all right, if everybody goes, then... 92 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,422 - Thank you, thank you! 93 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,524 You're a golly gumdrops good guy. 94 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:09,426 - Eb! 95 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,960 - Ooh ooh! 96 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:14,097 - I'll mop that up when I get back from Washington. 97 00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:15,298 - Of all the... 98 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:18,201 - Oh, Oliver, you made the boy so happy. 99 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:22,405 When your chips are down, I can see your true colors. 100 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,207 - Thank you. 101 00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:25,231 I think. 102 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,778 - Order, order. 103 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,780 I declare this meeting of the HYPAS to be in session, 104 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,815 and I turn the meeting over to Mr. Agent, 105 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,917 your county Kimball. 106 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,621 Mr. County your Kimball agent. 107 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,757 Well, whoever I am, I will now call the roll. 108 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:41,691 Eb Dawson? 109 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:42,525 - Here! 110 00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:43,549 - Arnold Ziffel? 111 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,998 Well, that's encouraging, we have 100% turnout for a change. 112 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:53,136 Now, let's see what we have first on the agenda. 113 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,238 Oh, looks like ketchup. 114 00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:58,096 Oh yeah, I wrapped my lunch in it. 115 00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,677 Well, the next thing on the agenda 116 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,446 is our trip to Washington for our national convention. 117 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,547 Any discussion? 118 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:06,916 - There's nothing to discuss. 119 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,451 Let's just vote on it. 120 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,395 - Will somebody put that in the form of a motion? 121 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:12,889 Thank you. 122 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,357 The motion has been made. 123 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,293 All those in favor of making the trip, say aye. 124 00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:17,193 - Aye! 125 00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,261 - All those against? 126 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,799 Well, that's one for and one against. 127 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,701 That's almost a tie. 128 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,169 Well, not almost a tie. 129 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,671 It's a deadlock. 130 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:31,174 - Doggone, Arnold, you sure are bein' pig-headed tonight! 131 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,375 - He has to be. 132 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:33,810 That's the only kind of head he has. 133 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,079 - Arnold, Mr. Douglas won't let me go 134 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:38,481 unless everybody goes. 135 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,484 Now, why don't we flip a coin to see if we go. 136 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,852 Okay, you call it. 137 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,023 Tales, you lose! 138 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,391 We're goin'! 139 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,061 - Eb, you ready yet? 140 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,330 Be right there! 141 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,464 - Oliver, do you think Ebby will be all right 142 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,433 by himself in Washington? 143 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:57,667 - Oh, sure, he won't be alone. 144 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,868 He'll be with a group. 145 00:05:58,892 --> 00:05:59,936 Come on, Eb, you'll miss your plane! 146 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:00,870 - I'm ready. 147 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,372 - Have you got your ticket? 148 00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,874 - Yes, ma'am, I've got it pinned to my union suit. 149 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,343 - To your... 150 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,144 - Mr. Douglas, I want to thank you for buyin' it for me. 151 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,847 - Oh, you bought him a union suit? 152 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,204 - He means the plane ticket! 153 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,853 - It was real nice of you. 154 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,322 Like I tell everybody, you're not all bad. 155 00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:20,690 - Get in the car. 156 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,493 - You're not all good, either. 157 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,562 But I don't tell anybody that. 158 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,586 - Get in! 159 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,734 - Have you got your money? 160 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,302 - Yes, ma'am, it's pinned in a safe place too. 161 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,437 Ah! 162 00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:35,672 - What's the matter? 163 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:38,007 - The safety pin on my money came undone! 164 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,031 Ah! 165 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,884 - Where's the rest of the group? 166 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:51,388 - We were supposed to meet in front of the gum machine. 167 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:55,113 Maybe there's another gum machine someplace. 168 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,262 - Is that the airline they're going on? 169 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,299 - The Route of the... 170 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:04,601 - We'd better see if the plane is going 171 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,936 to take off on time. 172 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,472 Excuse me, is this the Washington plane? 173 00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:10,407 - Yes, ma'am. 174 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:11,941 May I have your name, please? 175 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,110 - I'm Lisa Douglas, and this is my husband, Mr. Douglas. 176 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,345 - Douglas, I don't seem to have you here 177 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,847 on my passenger list. 178 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,149 - Uh no, we... - May I see your tickets? 179 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:21,851 - We don't have any tickets. 180 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:22,786 - Oh, you don't have any. 181 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,053 I'll fix that in a hurry. 182 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,855 - Look, look, no, we don't want, we. 183 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:26,790 - There you are, two tickets to Washington. 184 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:27,624 - Thank you. 185 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,458 - Lisa. 186 00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:30,393 - That'll be $104. 187 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,561 - Wait a minute. 188 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,396 - Are these first class tickets? 189 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,097 - Oh no, ma'am, this is an economy flight. 190 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,366 - But we always fly first class. 191 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,068 - We're not flying any class. 192 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,537 Now, give him back the tickets. 193 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,439 We just wanted to find out when... 194 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:43,440 - Look, why don't you go? 195 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:44,741 Washington's a beautiful city. 196 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,375 Why, they got all those historical monuments, 197 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:47,477 you know, the Statue of Liberty, 198 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,211 Bunker Hill, the Eiffel Tower. 199 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,181 - I told you. 200 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:55,051 - Lisa, they... - Ha, what a know it all. 201 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:58,488 - Our hired hand is going with the HYPAS group. 202 00:07:58,512 --> 00:07:59,622 - Oh. 203 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,491 - Is this airline safe? 204 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,160 - Madam, we're very proud of our safety record. 205 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:05,628 You know that we haven't had one accident 206 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,229 since we started flying? 207 00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:08,164 - When was that? 208 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:09,188 - Last week. 209 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:12,268 - What kind of equipment do you fly? 210 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,736 - Oh, the very latest. 211 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,305 As a matter of fact, I've got a model of it right here. 212 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,662 Oh, here we are. 213 00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,610 How about that? 214 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,145 Oh, I'm sorry, this is the equipment we use 215 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,647 on the Hawaiian flight. 216 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,339 I know it's around here someplace. 217 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:32,421 There we are, the flagship of our fleet. 218 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:33,778 - That's a DC-3. 219 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,928 Don't you fly any jets? 220 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:39,829 - Any what? 221 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:40,864 - Jets? 222 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:41,888 - Say again. 223 00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:46,068 - Jets, they... - Mr. Douglas? 224 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:46,903 - What? 225 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,204 - They're not here yet! 226 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,572 - Well, look someplace else. 227 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:50,807 - Yes, sir. 228 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,041 - Oliver, I don't think we should let 229 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,243 Eb fly on this airline. 230 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,012 - Oh, I'm sure it's safe. 231 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,314 They must be licensed by the FAA. 232 00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,338 - The what? 233 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,018 - The Federal Aviation Administration. 234 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,820 They check every... - Oh, Mr. Douglas? 235 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,522 - Excuse us. 236 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:06,789 - Hello there, Mr. Kimball. 237 00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:07,624 - Hi. 238 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,625 - Ah, ready to take off? 239 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,393 - Take off what? 240 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,428 - In the plane, to Washington. 241 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,797 - Oh, is that where you're goin'? 242 00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,298 - No, we're not going. 243 00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,834 - Where is the rest of the group? 244 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,302 - Oh, he's getting his suitcase out of my car. 245 00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:21,771 - He's getting? 246 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,139 Yeah, and he's gonna be late if 247 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,829 Oh, there he is now. 248 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,066 - What the? 249 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,515 - Ooh, is Arnold going with you? 250 00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:33,382 - Yes, ma'am. 251 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,052 He's the HYPAS mascot. 252 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,354 - Where's the rest of the group? 253 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,378 - We're it. 254 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:43,593 - You're the whole group? 255 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,327 A nut, a ding-a-ling and a pig that thinks 256 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:46,696 he's the Red Barron? 257 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,301 You can't take a pig on the plane! 258 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,169 - Why not? 259 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,370 He's got a ticket. 260 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,394 - Sure. 261 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,964 Where's your ticket, Arnold? 262 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:04,202 Be sure you close that tight, boy. 263 00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:06,616 Where's your ticket, Eb? 264 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,817 - Right here. 265 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,742 - Yeah, well I'll put these with my uh, 266 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,591 what am I looking for? 267 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:15,780 - Your ticket. 268 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,550 - Boy, what did I do with 'em? 269 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,131 Let's see, I got up this morning. 270 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,767 I got dressed, I took a shower. 271 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,403 No, I took a shower before I got dressed. 272 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,394 Now I remember. 273 00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,565 I put the ticket in my shoe. 274 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:44,520 No, I guess I did get dressed before I took a shower. 275 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:45,710 - Oh, brother. 276 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,459 - Your attention, please! 277 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,729 Trans Pixley Airlines domestic champagne 278 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:57,333 flight direct to Washington, DC, via Fish Meadows, 279 00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:01,459 Barleyville, Milton Falls, Millington and Hapsber Creek 280 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,074 now ready to board at Gate 7. 281 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,977 Will all passengers please check in at the ticket counter. 282 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,378 Over and out. 283 00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:15,918 May I have your tickets, please. 284 00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:17,386 - Yes, sir. 285 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,388 Ooh, this is the flight that my mother 286 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:22,058 took to Hawaii last year. 287 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,159 - Ah, Mr. Dawson. 288 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,994 - Right here. 289 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,362 Do you serve supper on the plane? 290 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:27,363 - Yes, sir. 291 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,197 Uh, Kimball. 292 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,221 - Yes, sir. 293 00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:31,990 And Mr. Ziffel. 294 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,838 I thought you said your name was Douglas. 295 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,373 - It is! 296 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,664 - Well, where's Mr. Ziffel? 297 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,211 - Arnold? 298 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,846 - Oh, I guess he went out to the gate. 299 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,716 - Oh, well, he didn't even say goodbye! 300 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:47,950 - How could he say... 301 00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:49,694 - I think you folks had better get on board. 302 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,892 - Well, goodbye Mr. And Mrs. Douglas. 303 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,560 Have a good trip. - Bye. 304 00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:58,750 - Not us, you! 305 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:00,920 That way! 306 00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,567 - Are you all gonna stick around and watch us take off? 307 00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:05,835 - Why, of course. 308 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,704 - Well, I guess this is it. 309 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,772 - Oh, well, goodbye, Eb. 310 00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,140 Now, take good care of yourself 311 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,242 and be sure to call us from Washington. 312 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,877 And don't forget to write. 313 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,279 - I think I'm gonna cry. 314 00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,915 - What's there to cry about? 315 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:22,685 - The safety pin is still stickin' into me. 316 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,620 - Okay, Eb, have a nice trip. 317 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:26,122 - Bye, Dad, bye, Mom. 318 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,980 - And stop calling us mom and dad! 319 00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:32,829 - I feel I'm going to cry too. 320 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,519 - Why, what's sticking into you? 321 00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,735 - I hope they're going to have a nice flight. 322 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,169 - Oh, don't worry. 323 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,504 They usually have a pretty stewardess aboard. 324 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:43,962 - Welcome aboard. 325 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,410 - Who are you? 326 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,712 - I'm the stewardess. 327 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,981 - Oh, I thought they used women. 328 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:54,350 - Oh, this is gonna be a funny flight. 329 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,317 - Mrs. Stewart. 330 00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,754 - The name is Jones, Miss Jones. 331 00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,756 - Where do we sit, Jones, Miss Jones? 332 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:00,780 - Back there. 333 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,860 - Can't I sit with the pilot? 334 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:06,462 - No, it's against he rules! 335 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,696 Follow me. 336 00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:14,225 There you are, seat 102 and 103. 337 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:18,007 - Excuse me, where are the seat belts? 338 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,708 - The what? 339 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:20,943 - Seat belts, they're uh... 340 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,078 - Say, what picture are they showing? 341 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,679 - Picture of what? 342 00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:24,847 - Moving picture. 343 00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:26,816 - On an airplane? 344 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:27,683 - Sure. 345 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:30,352 - Are you on something? 346 00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,888 - All the airlines do it. 347 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,257 Didn't you ever see their commercials on television? 348 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,281 - On what? 349 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,526 - Television? 350 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,694 You know, you have a set in your home, 351 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:39,896 and they send the pictures through the air 352 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,331 and they come out on the screen? 353 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,800 - Would you two like to sit near an open window 354 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,868 and get some fresh air? 355 00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,003 - Open window? 356 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,637 Isn't this cabin pressurized? 357 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,139 - What? 358 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,407 - Pressurized. 359 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,508 You know, when you get up high, the air gets 360 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,310 thinner and you have to, 361 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,501 well, you don't have to, but it helps. 362 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,649 - Miss Jones. 363 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,785 - We'll be taking off in a few minutes. 364 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:03,809 Just relax. 365 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,690 Yes, captain? 366 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,091 - Here's dinner for the passengers. 367 00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,092 - Yes, sir. 368 00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,894 - Did my copilot come aboard yet? 369 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:13,429 - Oh, I don't know, sir. 370 00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:24,874 - It just can't be. 371 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,608 - Can't be what, sir? 372 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:27,698 - My copilot. 373 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,613 - What's wrong with him? 374 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:33,304 - Well, take a look. 375 00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:37,820 Well? 376 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,322 - There's no one in there. 377 00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:40,578 - Are you sure? 378 00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:44,126 That's strange. 379 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,928 There was a pig in there. 380 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:46,952 - A pig? 381 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:51,633 - Wearing a helmet, goggles and a scarf. 382 00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,569 - A little hungover today, aren't you? 383 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:56,995 After we take off, you'd better lie down. 384 00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:02,278 Care to rent a pillow? 385 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,913 10 cents. 386 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:04,947 - No, thank you. 387 00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:05,848 - What about you? 388 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,149 - Uh, no, thanks. 389 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:10,753 - Would you care to rent a pillo... 390 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:11,754 What is that? 391 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,322 - Oh, that's Arnold Ziffel. 392 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,258 Arnold, say hello to Miss Jones. 393 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,150 - That's a pig! 394 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,564 - Now you hurt his feelings. 395 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,333 - He's going to Washington with us. 396 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,635 - We don't allow pigs on this plane! 397 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,337 - He has a ticket. 398 00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,873 - Either he gets off or you all get off! 399 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:31,897 Oh! 400 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:34,277 - What are we gonna do now? 401 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,212 - I hope Mr. Douglas is still out there. 402 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,781 He'll know how to handle this. 403 00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:41,317 - I wonder why they haven't taken off yet. 404 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,052 - Your attention, please. 405 00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,388 Will the copilot for the Washington flight 406 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:49,091 please report on board immediately? 407 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,459 - There's your answer. 408 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,994 Some airline. 409 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,229 - Mr. Douglas! 410 00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,463 - You're supposed to be on board. 411 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,399 - We're havin' trouble with the stewardess. 412 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,534 - Oh, you got fresh with her? 413 00:15:58,558 --> 00:15:59,802 - No, ma'am. 414 00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,904 She wants to throw Arnold off the plane. 415 00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,740 - I told ya they wouldn't allow a pig on board. 416 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,875 - You gotta talk to her and make her change her mind. 417 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,710 - Oh, come on, Oliver, you're such a good talker. 418 00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:09,734 - How can I? 419 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:15,251 What kind of a plane is this, the paratrooper's special? 420 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:17,942 - There she is! 421 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,723 Miss Jones, this is my father, Mr. Douglas. 422 00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:24,360 Now, he's gonna... - I'm not your father! 423 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:27,452 - Well, whatever you are, get that... 424 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,868 All right, where's the pig? 425 00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,158 - Huh, uh, pig? 426 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,473 - The pig that was sitting right there. 427 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:41,077 - Oh, the pig, the one that was wearing the polo outfit. 428 00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,579 He got off. 429 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,415 - Well, if he's on this plane, I'll find him! 430 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,156 - What did you do with Arnold? 431 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,225 - Put him in the occupied. 432 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,482 - The occupied? 433 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,620 For the love of. 434 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,335 Arnold! 435 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,359 Are you in there? 436 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,928 Arnold, come on out! 437 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:16,612 Arnold, the flight isn't gonna take off till you get off. 438 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,483 Oh, yes it is. 439 00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:21,717 Hey, stop the plane! 440 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:22,951 Captain, sto... 441 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,221 - Oliver, you might as well sit down. 442 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,089 We're going to Washington. 443 00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:42,004 - Golly, ain't this exciting? 444 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,605 - What's exciting? 445 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:46,742 - Watchin' the birds fly past us. 446 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,110 - This is the most miserable flight 447 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:49,645 I've ever been on. 448 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,048 What do you know? 449 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:54,016 You've never been... 450 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,552 - Boy, I sure am looking forward to the convention. 451 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,655 - Oh, we're going to have a wonderful time in Washington. 452 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,590 - Yeah, yeah, we don't even have a toothbrush. 453 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,292 - Well, we can buy everything there, 454 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:07,530 a toothbrush, a new mink coat and a whole new wardrobe. 455 00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,532 - Why do you have to buy a whole new wardrobe? 456 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:12,734 - Well, I can't have dinner with the president in this. 457 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:13,635 - The president? 458 00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:15,771 You know Mr. Hoover? 459 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,306 - Mister? 460 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,107 - I'm gonna drop in at the Department of Agriculture 461 00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,508 and see the secretary. 462 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,677 - Ooh, that'll make his day. 463 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:22,911 Dinner is served! 464 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:23,935 - Dinner? 465 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,915 - We have Swiss on white. 466 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,984 We have ham and cheese on whole wheat, 467 00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:31,520 and we have tuna fish on raisin bread. 468 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,456 - Can I just have a cup of coffee, please? 469 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,146 - Oh, help yourself. 470 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,230 Tuna fish on raisin. 471 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:52,941 - Good afternoon. 472 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,143 - Oh, hi. 473 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:55,111 My name is Hank Kimball. 474 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,645 I have a reservation. 475 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,614 We're all here for the NYPAS convention. 476 00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,615 - NYPAS? 477 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:00,583 Aren't you a little late? 478 00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,173 That was last week. 479 00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:04,920 - That's impossible. 480 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,356 I remember distinctly getting a letter. 481 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,492 Well, I don't remember distinctly, 482 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:14,396 but I do remember that the convention was on the... 483 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,098 No, it wasn't. 484 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,234 - Oh, for the love of... 485 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,269 - Do you have another convention we can attend? 486 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,271 - No, sir, all we have at the moment 487 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:25,073 is a reunion for the friends of Bobby Baker. 488 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:27,409 - That sounds all right to me. 489 00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:30,045 How about you, Mr. Douglas? 490 00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:32,014 - Look, we just want a room for tonight. 491 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:33,449 - For all of you? 492 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,185 - No, just for my wife and myself. 493 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,720 - We'll take a room for me, him and Arnold. 494 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:39,588 - Arnold? 495 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,778 - Yeah, he uh. 496 00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:43,248 Arnold? 497 00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:47,084 I guess he went into the bar. 498 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,466 - Would you mind registering? 499 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,500 - Certainly. 500 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,169 - Where's your luggage? 501 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,470 - We don't have any. 502 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,872 - No luggage, Mr. Smith? 503 00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,275 - Douglas! 504 00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,776 - The reason we don't have any luggage 505 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,812 is we only went to the airport to see them off, 506 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,282 but they wanted to throw Arnold off the plane, 507 00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:09,385 but he hid in the occupied, and while my husband 508 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:13,322 was trying to get him out, the plane took off. 509 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,558 - Would you mind paying in advance? 510 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,321 - Bartender, bartender? 511 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:29,260 Excuse me, mac, have you seen the... 512 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:31,295 Oh, air force. 513 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,111 Mind if I sit down? 514 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,071 Thank you. 515 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,741 Bartender! 516 00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,523 What outfit are you with, buddy? 517 00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,217 No foolin'. 518 00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:56,086 I was with MacArthur in the Pacific. 519 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:00,859 Bartender? 520 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:02,605 - Yes, sir. 521 00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:05,129 - I'll have a vodka and tonic. 522 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,378 Still got a touch of the malaria. 523 00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:10,479 - What'll you have? 524 00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:15,150 - Well, what are you standing there for? 525 00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,275 You heard the lieutenant. 526 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,210 - That's a pig. 527 00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:22,558 - Now see here. 528 00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:25,416 That's no way to talk to a serviceman. 529 00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,897 - Get him outta here. 530 00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:31,900 - Don't give me any trouble, mac, 531 00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:35,671 me and my buddy'll take this place apart. 532 00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:36,695 Won't we, buddy? 533 00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,500 - That's right, Hooterville. 534 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,181 Yes, this is Oliver Douglas. 535 00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:47,549 Douglas. 536 00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:48,817 That's right, I'm the one that registered 537 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,686 without the luggage. 538 00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:51,953 - Who are you calling? 539 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,722 - Mr. Drucker to tell him to get somebody 540 00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:56,191 to go out to the farm, feed the chickens, milk Eleanor. 541 00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:58,761 - Tell him to get somebody for a couple of weeks. 542 00:21:58,785 --> 00:22:00,629 - We're not gonna be here that long! 543 00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:01,863 - Well, as long as we are here, 544 00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:03,999 we might as well stay a while. 545 00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,233 - Hooterville. 546 00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:07,703 - If we do stay, could we get another room? 547 00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:09,171 - What's wrong with this one? 548 00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:11,640 - Well, it has twin beds. 549 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,908 - So? 550 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,743 - Well, my cousin and her husband had a room 551 00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:18,647 with twin beds, and the next year, they had twins. 552 00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:20,916 - What has that? 553 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:21,940 Hello? 554 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:24,809 The hotel manager, what? 555 00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:30,959 Well, call Mr. Kimball, he's in charge of him! 556 00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:32,127 - What happened? 557 00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:33,829 - Arnold bit the bartender. 558 00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:37,032 Hello? 559 00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:39,234 Look, operator, yes, are you putting through... 560 00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:40,803 - Drucker's store. 561 00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:42,204 - Oh, Mr. Drucker. 562 00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:43,672 - Oh, Mr. Douglas. 563 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,308 Say, did Hank and Eb get off to Washington all right? 564 00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:48,777 - Yes, and so did we! 565 00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:50,212 - What? 566 00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:52,448 - Well, you see, Arnold locked himself in the occupied, 567 00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:55,473 and well, we wound up in Washington. 568 00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:58,487 - Oh, I sure wish I could be with ya. 569 00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:01,056 Love to see some of them sites, the Statue of Liberty, 570 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,624 Bunker Hill, the Eiffel Tower. 571 00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:08,430 - Mr. Drucker, I want you to do me a favor. 572 00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:10,799 If you could find somebody to mind the farm 573 00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:12,100 while we're away. 574 00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:13,602 - Mind your farm? 575 00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:15,058 - I'll take that. 576 00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:17,172 - Mr. Drucker? 577 00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:20,676 - No, this is Haney's Farm Minding Service. 578 00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:22,210 - Mr. Haney! 579 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,881 - Now, just what kind of farm minding did you have in mind? 580 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,149 - May I talk to Mr. Drucker? 581 00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:31,653 - Just as soon as we settle our business. 582 00:23:31,677 --> 00:23:35,156 Now, for $8 a day, I will feed your chickens, 583 00:23:35,180 --> 00:23:37,626 milk your cow and check your laundry to make 584 00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:40,128 sure that you get all of your sheets back. 585 00:23:41,287 --> 00:23:42,464 - Mr. Haney, I... 586 00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:46,635 - For $12 a day, you get our 24-hour service. 587 00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:49,405 Me and my wife, we move into your place 588 00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:51,940 and in addition to the aforementioned, 589 00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:55,010 we will watch your television set, eat your food, 590 00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:57,813 drink you liquor and turn away any relatives 591 00:23:57,837 --> 00:24:00,382 that happen to show up. 592 00:24:00,406 --> 00:24:01,617 - Look, Mr. Haney... 593 00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:03,485 - Don't worry about nothin', Mr. Douglas. 594 00:24:03,509 --> 00:24:06,522 You just wire me a week's fee in advance, 595 00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:10,659 and I'm sure that your barn won't burn down. 596 00:24:10,683 --> 00:24:11,916 - Give me that! 597 00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:15,130 Don't worry, Mr. Douglas, your farm'll 598 00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:16,565 be taken care of. 599 00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:18,801 - Thank you, Mr. Drucker. 600 00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:22,604 Well, I guess it'll be safe to stay for a week. 601 00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:24,172 - That's wonderful. 602 00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:26,475 When were you here last? 603 00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:27,709 - During the war. 604 00:24:27,733 --> 00:24:30,868 - Oh, there are so many things to see. 605 00:24:32,738 --> 00:24:36,518 Oh, look at that, Oliver, isn't that beautiful? 606 00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:40,288 - Oh yes, Washington is one of the most beautiful... 607 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:44,314 That's the Eiffel Tower! 608 00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:48,452 - Beautiful, isn't it? 609 00:25:27,393 --> 00:25:31,294 This has been a Filmways presentation, darling. 39252

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