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♪ Green Acres is the place to be
2
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:25,768
♪ Farm livin' is the life for me
3
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:29,572
♪ Land spreadin'
out so far and wide
4
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:33,977
♪ Keep Manhattan just
give me that countryside
5
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:37,981
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
6
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:42,019
♪ I get allergic smelling hay
7
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:45,955
♪ I just adore a penthouse view
8
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:50,149
♪ Darling I love you
but give me Park Avenue
9
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:57,167
♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air
10
00:00:57,191 --> 00:01:00,170
♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife
11
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,938
♪ Goodbye city life
12
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:05,564
♪ Green Acres we are there
13
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:35,138
- Oliver, Oliver you're snoring.
14
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,162
Now roll over your side.
15
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,574
- Turn the light off.
16
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,325
- Oliver you're snoring again.
17
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,842
- Will you stop
pushing me outta bed.
18
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,711
- I didn't push you.
19
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:15,845
- Go to sleep.
20
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,181
- Then stop falling out of bed.
21
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:21,718
I can't sleep with that
nose noise you're making.
22
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,954
- Put some cotton in your ears.
23
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:25,978
Something.
24
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,337
What?
25
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,705
Oh Lisa, turn that thing off.
26
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,041
- Well, I can't sleep,
I'm wide awake.
27
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,176
- Well I'd like to sleep.
28
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,178
Now, please, turn it off.
29
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,819
Now what?
30
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,544
- This doesn't work.
31
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,195
No wonder it didn't work.
32
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:07,297
It's got that long
thing in there.
33
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:10,322
- Well, it's supposed
to be in here.
34
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,525
But I think I can...
35
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,139
- You did it.
36
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:18,497
- I can't get my finger out.
37
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,069
- It turned on again.
38
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:29,252
What did you change
the channel for?
39
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:32,021
Lisa, if you want to
watch TV, you watch it.
40
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,390
- Where are you going?
41
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:34,924
- To sleep on the couch.
42
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,799
- Good morning darling.
43
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,770
- Oh, you still got the rollers.
44
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:48,860
- Look, Lisa.
45
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:53,276
- Oh, I'm sorry about
the fight we had last night.
46
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,110
- Oh that's alright.
47
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,278
- It was all my fault.
48
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,914
- It wasn't all your fault.
49
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,983
- I know, some
of it was your fault.
50
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,086
- Well look, Li...
51
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,955
Alright, some of
it was my fault.
52
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,958
- Come to think, most
of it was your fault.
53
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,393
- If it will make
you feel any better,
54
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,229
most of it was my fault.
55
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:13,597
- Well, you don't
have to take the blame
56
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,098
for the whole thing.
57
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,466
Some of it was my fault.
58
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,101
But more of it was your fault,
59
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,336
than my fault.
60
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,304
- Yes, Lisa, I don't
wanna argue with you.
61
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:23,094
- Well, neither do I.
62
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:25,675
Oliver?
63
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:26,610
- Hmm?
64
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:27,844
- You know we've been having
65
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,446
an awful lot of
arguments lately.
66
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,947
- Yeah, yeah, I'm aware of that.
67
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:34,016
- And it's high time
we had a talk about it.
68
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,051
- Oh?
69
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,075
- Sit down.
70
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:37,943
- Okay.
71
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:45,928
- Alright, what do
you want to talk about?
72
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,897
- You're the one that
said we should talk.
73
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,733
- Well, it's just that
I've been thinking
74
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,535
about all this arguings
you've been starting lately.
75
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:55,438
And I think it's time we
did something about it.
76
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,173
- And what would you suggest?
77
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,476
- Well, according
to my physiatrist...
78
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,010
- What physiatrist?
79
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,146
- The girl that does
my nails, Betty.
80
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,149
- Oh yes, doctor Betty.
81
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,117
- She's not a real psychiatrist,
82
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,988
she's just good with the
nail polish and the advice.
83
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,291
Every time she finds
that she and her husband
84
00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,925
have been arguing too much,
85
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,860
they take a separate vacation.
86
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,696
- Is that what
you're suggesting?
87
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,731
- That we take a
vacation from each other?
88
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,199
- Mm-hmm.
89
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,223
- Good.
90
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,703
- Oliver!
91
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:27,937
- What?
92
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,340
- Don't you want
to argue about it?
93
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,108
- No, I think it's a good idea.
94
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,477
- In other words, you
want to get rid of me.
95
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,945
- No.
96
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,980
- Well, then why did
you bring up the idea
97
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,082
of separate vacations?
98
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:42,251
- It was your idea.
99
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,153
But anyway, I think a
vacation from each other
100
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,424
might be an intelligent
solution to our squabbling.
101
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:50,660
As a matter of fact,
when I was practicing law,
102
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,862
I suggested myself
to several of my clients
103
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,264
who were thinking
about getting divorced.
104
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,098
- Oh!
105
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,467
So that's what you want?
106
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,135
A divorce?
107
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,291
- No, I don't.
108
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:02,839
- Well, what do you want?
109
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,073
- A good night's sleep.
110
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,044
- You wouldn't mind if
I went away for myself?
111
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,946
- Yes I'd mind.
112
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,915
But I think it'll do
us a lot of good.
113
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,250
- I think you're right.
114
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,485
- You could go to New York,
115
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:18,221
see some shows,
buy some clothes.
116
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,456
- I tell you what.
117
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,157
Why don't you come
to New York with me?
118
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:25,294
- Lisa, the idea's
for us to get away
119
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,796
from each other
for a little while,
120
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,487
and afterwards, why,
121
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,301
it'll be like when we
were first married.
122
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,871
- Well, that wasn't
very much fun.
123
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,038
- What?
124
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,273
- You were out of a job,
125
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:40,377
and you always borrowed
money from my father.
126
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,846
- Lisa, may I ask you
one simple question?
127
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,213
- What?
128
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,416
- How quickly could you pack?
129
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:54,424
Is that all?
130
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:55,358
- No sir.
131
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,360
There are two more suitcases.
132
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,662
Gee, I hate to see
you two split up.
133
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:02,932
- Eb, we're not...
134
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,534
- Why don't you apologize?
135
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,569
Maybe she'll forgive you.
136
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,737
- Look...
137
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:11,040
- Dad, you have no
right to do this to mom.
138
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,342
- Eb, I am not your dad,
she is not your mother,
139
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,745
and I didn't do anything to her.
140
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,246
- Then why is she leaving you?
141
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,381
- She's not leaving me.
142
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,082
We're taking a vacation
from each other,
143
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,719
because we were beginning
to get on each other's nerves.
144
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:23,953
- You get on my nerves,
145
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,922
and I don't wanna take
a vacation from you.
146
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:29,459
- Look Eb...
- I'm ready.
147
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,661
- Please mom, don't go.
148
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,129
Dad is sorry.
149
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,565
That other woman didn't
really mean anything to him.
150
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,300
- What other woman?
151
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,968
- Don't pay any
attention to him.
152
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:41,704
His little brain just cracked.
153
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,740
- This is wrong, wrong.
154
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,842
- Eb, get the two bags.
155
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,076
- Get 'em yourself.
156
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,745
You're kicking her out.
157
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,081
- That silly...
- I don't have to go.
158
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,683
- Lisa, we've
been all over this,
159
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,585
and we both agreed that
it would be the best thing
160
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:56,820
for both of us.
161
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:57,754
Now, let me get
the rest of your bags,
162
00:07:57,778 --> 00:08:00,411
or you're gonna miss your train.
163
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,699
Better get on the train.
164
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,133
- If you get lonesome, call
me and I'll be right back.
165
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,469
- Yes, if I do, I will.
166
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:13,937
- You will what?
167
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:15,972
- Call you.
168
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,340
- I'll be staying at the
nice Sheraton hotel.
169
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,575
- Good.
170
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,276
- I'll be registered
under my own name.
171
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,845
- Oh, that's fine.
172
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,783
Come on, you better get on.
173
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,317
- Oh, look after yourself.
174
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,609
- Don't you worry about me.
175
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,255
- Bye!
176
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,279
- Goodbye!
177
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:35,859
Oh, I'm sorry.
178
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:37,360
Oh, mister Kimball.
179
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,427
- She's gone huh?
180
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,696
- Yes.
181
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,560
- Well, that's the last
you'll ever see of her.
182
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,399
- What?
183
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,501
- Aw, don't feel too
bad mister Douglas,
184
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,335
you'll both find somebody else.
185
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,604
Well, she will.
186
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:48,828
You may have a little trouble.
187
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,241
- Mister Kimball, she's
just going to New York.
188
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,511
We're taking a short
vacation from each other.
189
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,012
- Short vacation?
190
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,947
That's what my father told
my mother when he took off.
191
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:01,417
That was 40 years ago,
and she's still looking for him.
192
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,752
- Oh boy.
193
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,754
- Say, now that
you're a bachelor,
194
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,924
I imagine you'll be getting
at your little black book,
195
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:10,493
and...
196
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,629
- Mister Kimball, I threw
away my little black book
197
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,597
a long time ago.
198
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:15,621
- Oh.
199
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,583
Do you happen to
remember where you threw it?
200
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,537
- No.
201
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,605
- Well, I think I can stir
up a little action for us.
202
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,140
- Thank you, mister Kimball,
203
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,576
but I'll find something to
do to keep myself occupied
204
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,411
while Mrs. Douglass is away.
205
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,146
- How long has she been gone?
206
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,502
- She just left!
207
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:34,751
- Well, maybe I can
keep you out of mischief.
208
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,686
Why don't you come over
to the house for supper?
209
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:39,856
My father always said my
mother was a great cook.
210
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,925
Well, he didn't always say it.
211
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,359
He wasn't with us very long.
212
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:45,528
- Thank you very
much, Mr. Kimball.
213
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,597
I may take you up on that.
214
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,369
Oh, hi Mr. Drucker.
215
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,393
- Oh you.
216
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,140
- Uh, yes...
- Pick out whatever you want.
217
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,843
Put the money on
the counter and leave.
218
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,411
- What's the matter with you?
219
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,547
- How could you do
that to Mrs. Douglas?
220
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:05,782
Kicking her out in the cold
221
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,383
just because she'd
rather watch TV,
222
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:08,818
than listen to you snore?
223
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,520
- Mr. Drucker...
224
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,656
- Eb told me the
whole sorted story.
225
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,060
Including how you kept
pushing her outta bed.
226
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,028
- Eb is a nut!
227
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,030
Mrs. Douglas and I
are just taking a vacation
228
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,298
from each other.
229
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,967
Married couples
need to once in a while.
230
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,202
- Oh, well I'm
glad it aint serious.
231
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,369
You going anywhere?
232
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:28,605
- No.
233
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,272
I'm just going to
stay home and sleep,
234
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,642
and relax, and read.
235
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:36,445
- Hello?
236
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,513
Oh yes he is here.
237
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:38,603
It's for you.
238
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,051
- Hello?
239
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:43,319
- Hello dear.
240
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,453
- Oh Lisa.
241
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,888
- Do you miss me?
242
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,757
- Well how could I
miss you, you just left.
243
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,325
- Well I miss you.
244
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,526
- Where are you?
245
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,495
- At the county airport
waiting for plane.
246
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,364
But I don't have to get on it.
247
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:58,467
- Aw look, Lisa, we've
gone all through this.
248
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,336
Now get on the plane,
go on to New York,
249
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,038
and forget all about me.
250
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,807
- Are you going
to forget about me?
251
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,443
- Lisa, have a good time.
252
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,467
Goodbye.
253
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,919
Now boarding at Gate 7,
254
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:20,123
Trans Pixley Airlines
flight 22 for New York,
255
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,625
via Eagles Bluff,
Meadows, Wilsonville,
256
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:25,361
Plat Ridge, and Jersey City.
257
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,530
First class passengers
will be served dinner.
258
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,999
Please pick it up at the
lunch counter before boarding.
259
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,491
- I guess that's me.
260
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:38,474
- Oh Eb, I want you to...
261
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,709
- Supper will be
ready in a minute.
262
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:40,810
- Supper?
263
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,500
I wasn't planning...
264
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:45,748
What are those?
265
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:47,249
- Flat cakes.
266
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,618
Mrs. Douglas told me to
make them just like she does,
267
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:52,055
so you won't miss her.
268
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,255
- Bye.
269
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,757
- Where do you
think you're going?
270
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,614
- To the Pixley Diner.
271
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,063
What do you think you're doing?
272
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,431
Going to the Pixley
Diner with you.
273
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,500
Ah, Eb, if you don't mind,
274
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,302
I'd rather go by myself.
275
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,404
- Not without me.
276
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:09,672
- Now look, Eb...
277
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,074
- Mrs. Douglas told me
to keep an eye on ya,
278
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,675
and I intend to.
279
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:13,943
- Look, Eb...
280
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,311
- Mrs. Douglas gave
me my instructions.
281
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,313
I'm to cook for
ya, stay with ya,
282
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,249
and sing you this Hungarian
lullaby before you go to sleep.
283
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,141
- Eb!
284
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,922
Look, I appreciate
your devotion to duty.
285
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,490
But I'm driving to Pixley alone.
286
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,593
- Well, I don't think so.
287
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,228
I got your distributor cap.
288
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:34,964
- Give me that.
289
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,532
- No sir.
290
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,135
- Eb, how would you like
to look for another job?
291
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,402
- I'd be glad to.
292
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,871
- Then start looking.
293
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,840
- Not until I save
this marriage.
294
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,041
- Eb please!
295
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,442
There's nothing wrong
with my marriage.
296
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,244
It's nice to be alone
once in a while.
297
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:52,036
And I'm sure Mrs.
Douglas feels the same way.
298
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,186
- "With All My Love, Oliver".
299
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,688
If you really loved me,
you would've called me.
300
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:00,890
I've been here an hour,
301
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:03,459
and my bell hasn't rung yet.
302
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,895
Well, I'm not going
to call you either.
303
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,418
I've got my pride.
304
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,967
Hello, operator?
305
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,102
Did you just ring this room?
306
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,104
Well, you better check.
307
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,539
Why don't you call the
Hootersville Operator,
308
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:21,577
and ask her if that wasn't my
husband who didn't call me.
309
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:23,946
Hootersville.
310
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,482
It's right next to Pixley.
311
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,851
What is the nearest big city?
312
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,141
Crever Corners.
313
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,055
Well ask around.
314
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:35,814
I'm sure you're
going to find it.
315
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:37,960
- Hello, hello?
316
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,061
- Hello.
317
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,462
- Lisa!
318
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,131
- Who is this?
319
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,332
- Oliver.
320
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,267
- What's wrong?
321
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:46,502
What are you calling about?
322
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,005
- Well, I didn't call
you, you called me.
323
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:53,009
- Oh, I must've dialed
your number by mistake.
324
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,844
- Oh, you're lonesome, huh?
325
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,767
- Well, maybe a little.
326
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,515
Are you a little?
327
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,649
- Yeah, a little.
328
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,418
- I'll be right home.
329
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:03,585
- No Lisa!
330
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:05,087
Just stay there.
331
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:07,423
- What'll I do with myself?
332
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,192
- Call some of your friends.
333
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,726
- I did and he's busy.
334
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,594
- Well why don't you...
335
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:14,931
What do you mean "he's busy"?
336
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:15,955
- My uncle.
337
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,869
Shook you up for
a minute, didn't I?
338
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:20,893
- Yes, yes.
339
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,706
Did you have dinner yet?
340
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:24,941
- No.
341
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,309
- Why don't you
call room service,
342
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,877
and order dinner in the room?
343
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,378
You always like that.
344
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,548
- I don't want to eat
by myself in the room.
345
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,750
- Then go down and
eat in the dining room?
346
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,853
- Is that what you
want me to do?
347
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,988
- Yes, that's what
I want you to do.
348
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,356
- Then I do it.
349
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,190
- Good.
350
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,158
- I love you.
351
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:43,625
- And I love you.
352
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,127
Goodbye.
353
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,029
- Oh, Oliver, when are
you going to call me again?
354
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,319
- I didn't c...
355
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,366
Late in the week.
356
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,001
Bye.
357
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,202
- Goodbye.
358
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,137
- Eh Lisa, don't call me again,
359
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,573
unless it's an emergency, huh?
360
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:58,597
Bye.
361
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,299
Oh for...
362
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,989
Alright, I'm coming!
363
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,242
- Keep ringing.
364
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,311
The phone is on top of the pole,
365
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:39,282
and it's going to take
him some time to climb it.
366
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,283
- Hello.
367
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,051
- Hello dear.
368
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,319
- Lisa?
369
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,087
- I took your advice
and I came down
370
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,989
to have dinner in
the dining room.
371
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:49,658
- I told you not to call me
unless it was an emergency.
372
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:50,960
- This is.
373
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,795
I don't know what
to order for dinner.
374
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,231
- What?
375
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,833
- Well, you always order for me.
376
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,568
- Lisa, do you
realize it's raining,
377
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,304
and I'm standing up
here on top of the pole
378
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:02,238
with an umbrella?
379
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,239
- Well, it won't take long.
380
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,540
Just a moment.
381
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:05,408
What's your name?
382
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:07,076
- Charles madam.
383
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,178
- Oliver, I'll let
you talk to Charles,
384
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,534
he's the waiter.
385
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,215
This is my husband Mr. Douglas.
386
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:14,984
He will order for me.
387
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:15,818
- Yes madam.
388
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,019
- Now don't take long,
389
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,288
he's on top of the
pole with an umbrella.
390
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,389
- Good evening, sir.
391
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,791
May I take your wife's order.
392
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,860
- Uh, what have you got?
393
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:28,931
- You wish me to read
the menu for you sir?
394
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:31,434
- No, look, give her a lobster.
395
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,458
- Yes sir.
396
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,137
- Oh oh oh, I'll help you.
397
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,173
- Oh thank you madam.
398
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,674
One lobster.
399
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:39,864
- One lobster.
400
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,712
I don't feel like lobster.
401
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,849
- Madam does
not feel like lobster.
402
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:49,452
- Well what does she feel like?
403
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:52,288
- He wants to know
what you do feel like.
404
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:55,157
- Oh, may I see the menu?
405
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:58,394
- Just a moment sir, madam
is looking at the menu.
406
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,563
- Well why didn't
she look at it before?
407
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,299
- I think I'll have a steak.
408
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,334
- Madam wishes a steak sir.
409
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,136
- Then give her one.
410
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:11,040
- How does madam
like her steak cooked sir?
411
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:12,875
- Medium rare.
412
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,177
- Medium rare, very good sir.
413
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,013
Anything else sir?
414
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:20,849
A baked potato, a
dinner salad, a coffee,
415
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,318
and chocolate mousse.
416
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:23,519
- You realize sir,
417
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:26,188
that dessert is not
included in the dinner.
418
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:29,158
However, if she does
not take any soup,
419
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:32,995
I might be able to
substitute a rice pudding.
420
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,498
- Give her whatever she wants.
421
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,099
- Yes sir.
422
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:41,970
Oh, just a moment sir,
madam wants to talk to you.
423
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,139
- Hello dear.
424
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:46,075
Thanks for ordering
dinner for me.
425
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,609
- You're welcome.
426
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:49,412
- As long as I have
you on the phone,
427
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:52,248
do you want to order
breakfast for me?
428
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:53,582
- No!
429
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:54,683
- Do you miss me?
430
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:55,617
- How can I miss you?
431
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:56,718
I've been on the phone with you
432
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:57,653
every since you left.
433
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,455
Now please don't call me again.
434
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,479
Goodbye.
435
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,492
- Shall I bring your
dinner madam?
436
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:08,086
I think I'll have
dinner in my room.
437
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,509
- Come in.
438
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,223
- Good evening, Mr. Douglas.
439
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:36,225
Oh, hitting the bottle, huh?
440
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:39,728
Mr. Douglas, that aint
no cure for lonesomeness.
441
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,098
- I am not...
442
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,732
- Now, I know how much
you miss the little woman,
443
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,834
and that is why I'm here.
444
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,903
My card please.
445
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,871
- My I have my bottle?
446
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:52,396
- As soon as you read my card.
447
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,713
- "Haney's Lonesome Service"
448
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,948
Now may I have my bottle?
449
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,950
- If you subscribe
to my service,
450
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,641
you won't need this.
451
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:06,755
- Hey!
452
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,890
That was 40 year old scotch!
453
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:12,461
- When you're
lonesome, age don't count.
454
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,729
- Mr. Haney.
455
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,764
- How long is your
wife gonna be gone?
456
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,065
- I don't know.
457
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:19,034
- Then I would advise
you to start with the
458
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:21,725
one week de-lonelyizing service.
459
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:26,130
For $15, I will
fill your idle hours
460
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:30,579
with fun and frolic that
won't give you a chance
461
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:33,815
to think how lonesome you are.
462
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,083
- Yes, well I...
463
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:38,954
The fun includes
horse shoe pitching,
464
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:42,525
and advanced lessons in
how to dance the big apple.
465
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:45,994
- Oh, I'm not interested,
and I'm going to sleep.
466
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,430
- Well listen, here's
something that'll keep you
467
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:50,299
from being lonely in bed.
468
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:53,435
A full color picture of
the Beverly Hillbillies,
469
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,693
that lights up in the dark.
470
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,675
- Mr. Haney, all I want
is a little peace and quiet.
471
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,964
Now, goodnight.
472
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:13,255
Mr. Haney, will
you leave me alone!
473
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:16,559
- It aint Haney,
it's Fred Ziffel.
474
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,627
Howdy Mr. Douglas.
475
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,729
Me and Arnold just come over
to see how you're getting along
476
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,665
after being all alone.
477
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:24,800
- Well, that's very nice of you.
478
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,202
- Arnold brought you a book.
479
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,069
- Oh yes, thank you.
480
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:28,270
The Three Little Pigs.
481
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,440
- That's his favorite story.
482
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,644
I'll bet he's read it more
than a hundred times.
483
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:38,480
How could he...
484
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,082
- Don't tell him
how it ends Arnold,
485
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,383
you'll spoil the whole thing.
486
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,353
- Yes, well...
487
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,088
- I know what you're
going through, Mr. Douglas.
488
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,590
Being here alone.
489
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:50,092
Doris has been
gone for two months,
490
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,993
but I'm luckier than you.
491
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:53,962
I've got Arnold here
to take her place.
492
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,799
- Yes, you are lucky.
493
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,935
- I like to share my luck.
494
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,970
Arnold's gonna stay here
and keep you company,
495
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:04,806
until your wife gets back.
496
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:05,774
Wait a minute...
497
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,075
- Think nothing of it.
498
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,477
Goodnight.
499
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,679
- But Mr. Ziffel.
500
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,272
What the...
501
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,859
Get out of there.
502
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:27,719
Go on home.
503
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:31,188
Fred needs you more than I do.
504
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:34,659
Peace and quiet.
505
00:21:46,372 --> 00:21:48,439
How did that get in here?
506
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:01,084
What's the use.
507
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,808
- Hello.
508
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,610
Hello, this is Mrs. Douglas.
509
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:16,779
Would you please tell
them to get my bill ready.
510
00:22:16,803 --> 00:22:18,202
I'm checking out.
511
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:21,717
Oliver?
512
00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:22,741
I'm home.
513
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:27,078
Oliver?
514
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,090
- Mrs. Douglas.
515
00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:30,292
I thought that was you.
516
00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:31,927
- Eb, where is my husband?
517
00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,529
- Oh, I took him to the airport.
518
00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:36,264
He said he was going
to New York to see you.
519
00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,666
- She checked out?
520
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:40,068
- Oh yes sir, she said
she was going back home.
521
00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:42,003
Would you like to register sir?
522
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:44,940
- No thanks, I gotta
get back to the airport.
523
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,404
Lisa? Lisa?
524
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:48,999
- She's not here.
525
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:51,413
- Didn't she come back?
526
00:22:51,437 --> 00:22:52,715
- Yes sir.
527
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:53,882
But when she found out
you went to New York,
528
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:55,451
she went back there.
529
00:22:57,443 --> 00:22:59,555
- This is the front
desk, may I help you?
530
00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:01,590
- Yes, hello, this
is Mr. Douglas.
531
00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:03,091
Did my wife come back?
532
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:04,360
- Yes sir.
533
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:06,228
- Would you connect
me with her room please.
534
00:23:06,252 --> 00:23:07,496
- She didn't check in.
535
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,731
When she found
out you weren't here,
536
00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:11,867
she went back to the
airport to return home.
537
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:12,891
- Oh well.
538
00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:16,772
Thank you, thank you very much.
539
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,710
I don't understand it.
540
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,412
- Maybe she missed the plane.
541
00:23:23,436 --> 00:23:25,414
Maybe we should've
gone to New York.
542
00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:28,884
Oh what good would that...
543
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,741
Hey, maybe that's her.
544
00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:35,646
- Keep ringing, he'll be there.
545
00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:37,325
Hello?
546
00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:38,727
- Hello there.
547
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,328
- Lisa?
548
00:23:40,352 --> 00:23:41,363
Where are you?
549
00:23:41,387 --> 00:23:42,964
- Miami.
550
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:44,165
- Miami?
551
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:47,168
- I got on the wrong plane.
552
00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:51,339
When you're not with
me, I always get confused.
553
00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:52,841
What will I do?
554
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:54,877
Check in at the
and Gleason Hotel,
555
00:23:54,901 --> 00:23:56,645
and I'll join you
there tomorrow.
556
00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:58,947
- I'll get the honeymoon suite?
557
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:01,683
- Just get a room, and stay put.
558
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:06,755
- Hello?
559
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:07,723
- Lisa.
560
00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:08,924
- Oliver.
561
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:10,125
I've been waiting for you.
562
00:24:10,149 --> 00:24:11,159
Where are you?
563
00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:12,183
- Cuba.
564
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,165
- Why did you go there?
565
00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:20,536
I thought we were going
to meet here in Miami.
566
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:21,937
- I was.
567
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:24,272
But there was some nut
on the plane with a gun.
568
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:27,309
The next thing I know,
we were landing in Havana.
569
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:29,545
- Do you want me to get
a plane ticket and a gun,
570
00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:30,779
and meet you there?
571
00:24:32,071 --> 00:24:33,615
- No no, you stay right there.
572
00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:35,918
They're flying us back tomorrow.
573
00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:36,942
Bye.
574
00:24:38,744 --> 00:24:39,955
- Havana.
575
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:42,190
What a phony story that is.
576
00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:44,192
If you think I'm
going to believe...
577
00:25:28,394 --> 00:25:32,295
This has been a Filmways
presentation, darling.
36314
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