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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:21,698 ♪ Green Acres is the place to be 2 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:25,635 ♪ Farm livin' is the life for me 3 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:29,539 ♪ Land spreadin' out so far and wide 4 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:34,344 ♪ Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside 5 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,514 ♪ New York is where I'd rather stay 6 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:41,684 ♪ I get allergic smelling hay 7 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:45,755 ♪ I just adore a penthouse view 8 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:49,948 ♪ Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue 9 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:57,067 ♪ The chores ♪ The stores ♪ Fresh air 10 00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,404 ♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife 11 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,505 ♪ Good bye, city life 12 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:05,197 ♪ Green Acres we are there 13 00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:24,061 - Where the heck is that? 14 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,085 Lisa! 15 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,255 Lisa! 16 00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,624 Lisa, where are you? 17 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,771 - Well, I'm not under there! 18 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,740 I know you're not. 19 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,777 - Well then why are you looking under there for me? 20 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:41,911 - I'm not looking. 21 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,381 Have you seen my guitar case? 22 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,083 - What does it look like? 23 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,440 - Well, it's shaped like a... 24 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:50,920 - Well! 25 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,122 You just can't forget her can you! 26 00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,656 Forget who? 27 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,826 - The girl who was shaped like your guitar case. 28 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,262 - Oh, you mean Hortense. 29 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,764 Yeah, she was really strung. 30 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:05,102 - Well, we finally got it out in the open. 31 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,904 - Lisa, will you just tell me where my Hortense, 32 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,539 I mean my guitar is? 33 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:11,475 There's band practice tonight. 34 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,676 - I thought it was always on Thursday night. 35 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,313 - Well it usually is, but tonight's a special practice 36 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,615 on account of the Hooterville Centennial Celebration 37 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,117 on Saturday. 38 00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:23,487 - Oh, well, I think I saw Hortense in the closet. 39 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:27,679 Oh, thank you. 40 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:31,995 - Oliver, what is a centen-enial? 41 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,530 - No, a sentinal. 42 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,165 No, a sentinenial. 43 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,766 It's the hundredth anniversary 44 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,701 of the founding of Hooterville. 45 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,504 - Do we have to send a present? 46 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:41,505 - No! 47 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,872 No, it's a celebration. 48 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,208 Joe Carson's planning everything, speeches, parades... 49 00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,209 - Ooo! 50 00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,977 It sounds like fun! 51 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,179 - Mr. Douglas! 52 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,114 - In here, in the bedroom! 53 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:54,884 - I just came in to tell you that, 54 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,620 where's Mr. Douglas? 55 00:02:56,644 --> 00:03:00,457 - I don't know, he was here a minute ago. 56 00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:02,659 - Mr. Douglas! 57 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,395 Come in! 58 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,997 Oh, there's nobody out there. 59 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,734 I'm in the closet! 60 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,370 - What's he doing in there? 61 00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:14,904 - He's looking for Hortense. 62 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,573 - What's she doin' in there? 63 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,742 Will you open the door? 64 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,044 - Oh, yes sir! 65 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:22,668 Hold this for me, would ya? - It's stuck! 66 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:26,483 - It's stuck pretty tight! 67 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,518 You pull and I'll push! 68 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,542 - Okay! 69 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,421 You ready? 70 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:32,422 - Ready! 71 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:33,423 One! 72 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:34,957 Two! 73 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,059 Three! 74 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,761 - Oliver? 75 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,230 He's not in there? 76 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,920 - No, I'm over here. 77 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,535 - How did you get out of the closet? 78 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,237 - I dug a tunnel! 79 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,372 - What did you do with the dirt? 80 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,375 - Oof. 81 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,743 - Hey, we better get goin', they said practice 82 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,977 would start at eight sharp. 83 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,946 - I can't go til I find my guitar. 84 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,481 - Oh, I put that in the car 85 00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:00,250 so you wouldn't have any trouble findin' it! 86 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:02,652 - Oh, you. 87 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:03,676 Come on! 88 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:06,756 - Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight? 89 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,157 - Sure! 90 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,392 - Not you. 91 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,461 - Boy, I should have let Ab do it. 92 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,267 - That better? 93 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,968 - Do you have to go? 94 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,637 - Good night. 95 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,964 - Will you... - Quiet. 96 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,145 - Oh, Ralph! 97 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,380 If you don't stop... 98 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,481 - Alright let's not have any fightin' 99 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:05,915 in the busy collins section. 100 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,117 - Howdy Joe. 101 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,653 - Red, you're late. 102 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,155 - Yeah, I had a hard time paintin' spots on Arnold. 103 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,226 - Why did you paint spots on him? 104 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,461 - For the parade. 105 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,163 We ain't got no firedog to sit on the engine, 106 00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,998 so we're making Arnold our fire pig. 107 00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:24,267 - You fire... 108 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:27,036 - Get up on the engine, Arnold. 109 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,706 - And don't play with the sirene. 110 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,542 - Joe, can we get this thing started, 111 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,177 I got to get back to the store. 112 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,412 - Okay, Sam. 113 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,847 Now first of all, I want to give you a rundown 114 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:41,318 of the activities I've got planned for Centennial day. 115 00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:43,787 We assemble in front of Sam's store at eight sharp. 116 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:46,790 Full firefighting regalia with our instruments. 117 00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:50,092 At 8:30, we march to the station to greet the governor. 118 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,594 - What governor? 119 00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:53,262 - Well, I ain't sure. 120 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,399 I invited all 52 of them, one of them oughta show up. 121 00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:57,801 Oh, boy. 122 00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,803 - We take whichever governor shows up first, 123 00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:02,004 march him to the town square, and show him 124 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,073 the cement slab where someday we're going to erect 125 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,075 a statue of Horace Hooter. 126 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,478 - May I ask a question? 127 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,279 - Does it have anything to do with what we're talking about? 128 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,548 - Yeah, I think so. 129 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:12,972 - Well, if you ain't sure, sit down. 130 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,685 Now while the governor's lookin' at the slab, 131 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,920 we'll serenade him with an official song 132 00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,956 written especially for the centennial. 133 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,091 You'll find the music on your stand. 134 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,793 - I don't have any music on my stand. 135 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,095 Just this piece of paper with the black dots on it. 136 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,565 - That's music! 137 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:29,632 - Is this the song? 138 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,534 "Hail to Horace Hooter?" 139 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,702 - Yeah, I wrote it. 140 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,438 - You didn't write it, Alph. 141 00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:38,007 Arnold hummed it to you and you put it down. 142 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,777 - How could Arnold hum... 143 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,812 - I wrote the lyrics, sweetie, and you're gonna sing them. 144 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:43,836 - Me? 145 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,816 - Well, you're the only non-blower here. 146 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,551 - Non-blower? 147 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,919 - You don't have to blow a guitar, 148 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,154 so you've got a free mouth for singing. 149 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,157 - Well, Ralph's got a free mouth. 150 00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:56,626 Let her sing it, she wrote the lyrics. 151 00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,795 I can't, I start to cry. 152 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,898 - I'm not going to... - Alright, let's go. 153 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,737 - You're on, Dino! 154 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,940 ♪ Horace Hooter ♪ Horace Hooter 155 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:15,812 ♪ The founder of our town 156 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,548 ♪ Horace Hooter ♪ Horace Hooter 157 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:21,951 ♪ He never wore a frown. 158 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,020 These are the worst... - Keep singin' Rudy! 159 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:30,226 ♪ For a hundred years ♪ Our town has stood 160 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,328 ♪ We don't know what you did 161 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,497 ♪ But you sure did it good 162 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:41,660 ♪ Good ♪ So hail to Horace Hooter 163 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:49,879 ♪ The founder of our town 164 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,113 Would you don't! 165 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,282 Look, I'm not gonna sing this stupid song! 166 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,952 - You're gonna ruin the whole centennial! 167 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,220 - I sincerely hope so. 168 00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,557 - Well, that's a nice attitude. 169 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,391 Well, it's not a nice attitude. 170 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,593 It's pretty crummy. 171 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,395 - You're anti-Hooterville. 172 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,299 - If I were anti-Hooterville, I'd sing the song! 173 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:10,733 Why does anybody have to sing it anyhow? 174 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,401 - I agree with Mr. Douglas. 175 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,870 It ain't much of a song. 176 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:18,374 - Oh, Arnold, he's talkin' about the lyrics. 177 00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,944 - I'm talkin' about the whole thing! 178 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,045 I think we ought to just forget the song. 179 00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,014 - Then what are we gonna serenade the governor with? 180 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,083 - No governor's gonna show up here. 181 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,051 Even if it was an election year. 182 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,520 - Well, we don't need a governor. 183 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,956 We still got the fireworks display. 184 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:33,890 - Oh, boy! 185 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,925 Are we gonna have fireworks? 186 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,293 - Yeah, I figure we'd open up with Roman candles 187 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,663 spelling out Happy Anniversary to Hooterville. 188 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,099 After that we'd have a sky rocket display 189 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,167 showing the battle of Gettysburg. 190 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,337 - What has that gotta do with the founding of Hooterville? 191 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,673 - Well, nothing' except that they've got this display 192 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,542 left over at the fireworks house. 193 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,076 I can get a good buy on it. 194 00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,580 - Goodbye is the only thing we want to hear from you, Joe, 195 00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,315 because if we leave these things in your hand 196 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,584 it's gonna be a big bust like everything else you planned. 197 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:03,586 - Well if that's the way you feel about it, 198 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:06,022 I'm resigning my chairmanship 199 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,824 of the Centennial Planning Committee 200 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,291 and I'm laying down my baton 201 00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:11,195 as leader of the volunteer fire department band! 202 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,902 - Hold it, hold it here. 203 00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,937 Now, Mr. Drucker, if I may say so, 204 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,505 I think you were a little harsh on Mr. Carson. 205 00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,973 He meant well. 206 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,241 - Well, he always means well and it always turns out 207 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,743 to be a big nothin'! 208 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,310 - Why don't we forget the centennial? 209 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:31,180 Well, not forget it, just ignore it! 210 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,950 - I don't think we should ignore it. 211 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:37,253 No, Hooterville's founding is a part of American history! 212 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,357 - It used to be part of Pixay 'til they threw us out! 213 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,491 - No, what I mean is that 214 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,929 this town is one of the thousands in the United States 215 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,964 which has contributed to the growth of the country. 216 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,533 From towns such as Hooterville 217 00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:53,469 have come our judges, our scientists, our presidents. 218 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,939 In it's hundred years of existence, Hooterville has added 219 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:58,274 to the wealth and knowledge of America! 220 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,309 Now, ignore its anniversary? 221 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,333 Nay, I say! 222 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,047 - I'll nay along with you. 223 00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:08,918 - Well, if that's the way you feel about it, Mr. Douglas, 224 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,352 I think we should have the centennial 225 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,388 and I think you should plan it. 226 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:13,823 - Oh, well... 227 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,825 - All those is favor, say "Aye!" 228 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:16,993 - Aye! 229 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:21,664 - Congratulations Mr. Douglas, you're it. 230 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,339 - Oliver! 231 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,975 - Lisa, please, I'm thinking. 232 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,209 - What about? 233 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,044 - I'm tryna figure out the most appropriate way 234 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,880 to celebrate this anniversary. 235 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,182 - Well, why don't you do what we did in Hungary 236 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:43,586 every year to celebrate the storming of the castle 237 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:44,954 by the peasants? 238 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,356 - What? 239 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,658 - Well, when my father was king, once a year, 240 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:51,594 all my mother's relatives would 241 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,195 dress up in their old clothes 242 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:56,532 and stand outside the castle and throw stones at him. 243 00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,936 - Well I can understand them throwing stones at him, 244 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,771 but why only once a year? 245 00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:03,873 King! 246 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,108 - He was! 247 00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,043 He got the job from my great great grandfather 248 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:11,080 who opened the castle for business in 1851. 249 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,150 He wouldn't let the peasants into the castle 250 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,520 because after they crushed the grapes with their bare feet, 251 00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:20,623 they would leave purple stains all over the rugs! 252 00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,392 - Oh, boy! 253 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,328 - So every year since then, they have Stone Day, 254 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,831 where the peasants stand outside and throw stones and that... 255 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,399 - Wait a second! 256 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:33,636 That's not a bad idea, we can do that! 257 00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:34,660 - Alright. 258 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,339 Who are we gonna throw stones at? 259 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,209 - No, I don't mean throwing stones, 260 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:43,512 I mean we can reenact the founding of Hooterville! 261 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,882 - How do you reenact a floundering? 262 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,449 - No, no, not floundering. 263 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,517 Froundring. 264 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,786 Well you'll see. 265 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,755 I've been thinking about the centennial 266 00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:56,793 and wondering what would be the best way to celebrate. 267 00:11:56,817 --> 00:12:00,196 And it occurred to me, that what we should do is reenact 268 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,931 the founding of the town. 269 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:03,733 - He got the idea from me! 270 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:06,169 In Hungary, we always reenact the floundering 271 00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,959 of the family castle! 272 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,841 - Well it's not the... 273 00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,076 - All the peasants will stand in front of the castle 274 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,533 and throw stones at the king. 275 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:17,680 - Gee, that's a great idea! 276 00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,304 We get a king and we throw stones at him! 277 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,684 - But you need a castle. 278 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:24,253 - Well, there must be a castle around here somewhere. 279 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,789 - Well how big does it have to be? 280 00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:30,159 - We don't need a castle or a king! 281 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,361 - Then who are we gonna throw the stones at? 282 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,997 - Will you please listen? 283 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:37,233 - Yeah, give Mr. Douglas a chance. 284 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,500 - To do what? 285 00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:41,738 - To tell us who he's gonna throw stones at! 286 00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,074 - Why should he throw the stones? 287 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,542 - It was his idea. 288 00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:49,011 - No, no, it was my idea! 289 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,412 You see in Hungary... 290 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,881 - Look, if you're not interested... 291 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,149 - In what? 292 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,650 In throwing stones, 293 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:58,888 er, no, I mean in reenacting the floundering of Hooterville. 294 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,156 The foundering! 295 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,724 Floundering? 296 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:02,959 - Pull yourself together. 297 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,426 Yeah, we'll listen. 298 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:09,165 - Well, I've been doing some research on the history 299 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,666 of Hooterville. 300 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:13,636 And I found out that many of your forefathers were here 301 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,138 when it was foundered. 302 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,163 First started! 303 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,309 And I thought it'd be a wonderful idea 304 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,145 to do a play with all of you 305 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,680 playing the parts of your forefathers. 306 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:25,982 - That's okay, except nobody in town's related 307 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,251 to Horace Hooter or his wife Doris. 308 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,551 - Who were they? 309 00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:32,321 - He was the founder, the flounder. 310 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,665 - Gee, I didn't know we had a flounder founder in our past. 311 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,292 - Look, Mr. Kimble... 312 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,994 - How 'bout Mr. and Mrs. Douglas 313 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,428 playing Horace and Doris Hooter. 314 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,452 - We'll do it. 315 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:42,464 Which one do you want to be? 316 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,167 Horace or Doris? 317 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,103 - How was the town floundered? 318 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,039 - Well, according to what I found out 319 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,740 from the county historical society, 320 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,709 Horace Hooter was born in Sacramento, California. 321 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:57,280 But he wanted to be a farmer, so, 322 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,715 he set out to look for farm land. 323 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,784 - They had farms in California. 324 00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,653 - Well, yes, but in those days, 325 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,789 everybody was digging them up looking for gold. 326 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:09,358 So he saddled up his horse and he headed east. 327 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,427 Now there's no record of his trip 328 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:15,564 until he rode into a little town called Barstool. 329 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,835 In those days, the main part of any town was the saloon. 330 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:21,403 And that's where Horace was headed for. 331 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,840 Would you mind opening the curtain? 332 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,976 Now I thought we'd open the play in the saloon, you see. 333 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,610 I want you to imagine this is a saloon. 334 00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,235 Now that's the bar. 335 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,550 That's the poker table. 336 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,619 And that's the player piano. 337 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:55,704 - Howdy, stranger! 338 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,906 - Howdy! 339 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,808 - If you're lookin' for the action, I'm it. 340 00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,077 - No, no, I'm just riding through. 341 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,378 - Where you from? 342 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,612 - California. 343 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,381 - Hear they struck gold out there. 344 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,617 - Yes, that's why I'm heading east. 345 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,119 - You some kinda religious nut? 346 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:13,890 - No, I'm not interested in digging for gold. 347 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,958 I want to buy some farm land. 348 00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,459 - Got any money? 349 00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,560 - $800. 350 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:23,832 - Hello, there. 351 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,067 - Oh. 352 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,770 - Do you want to buy me a drink, honey? 353 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,907 - Wahh... - My name is Doris MacGivney. 354 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,408 I'm Scotch. 355 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,076 - There's your bottle of scotch. 356 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,611 That'll be $35. 357 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:37,613 - I didn't want any... 358 00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:38,915 - What's your name, honey? 359 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,983 - Horace Hooter. 360 00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:43,119 I'm from Sacramento, California. 361 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:46,255 - Oh, is that anywhere near to Champagne, Illinois? 362 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,057 - Champagne! 363 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,525 That'll be $42! 364 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,527 - I didn't order... 365 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,862 - My cousin runs a cotton gin. 366 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,398 - A bottle of cotton gin. 367 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:56,754 That'll be $138. 368 00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,501 - Will you keep your hands off of... 369 00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:02,471 - That's right, you can't be too careful. 370 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,940 I'll take care of it... 371 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:04,941 - No, thank you, I have... 372 00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:06,708 - Well, why don't we sit down. 373 00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,044 Let me help you. 374 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,412 - Thank you. 375 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:10,601 - Here we are. 376 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,782 The roulette table. 377 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,806 - This is a poker table. 378 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,421 - It is? 379 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,456 Oh, I wouldn't know about that. 380 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,259 - Tell me, what's a nice girl like you 381 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,760 doing in a place like this? 382 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,529 - Oh, I'm just working here to get enough money 383 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:30,833 to pay for my father's $800 operation. 384 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,535 What are you doing here? 385 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,571 - Oh, I'm just passing through. 386 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,940 I'm looking for a farm. 387 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:42,133 - Oh, well, you couldn't get much of a farm for $800! 388 00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:45,247 How would you like to double your money? 389 00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:48,451 - Oh, I'd love to, but how can I do that? 390 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:51,542 - What about a friendly game of pika? 391 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,057 - Poker! 392 00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:56,558 - Is that what it is? 393 00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,361 Well, I don't know much about cards. 394 00:16:58,385 --> 00:16:59,528 Six of hearts. 395 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,733 - I've heard they give you a pretty fast shake 396 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,369 in some of these places. 397 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,658 - Oh, not here. 398 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,706 We run an honest game. 399 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:11,907 Ten of diamonds. 400 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,343 - How did you... 401 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,645 - How would you like to have a $3000 farm? 402 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,147 - Oh, well, I... 403 00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,649 - I have the deed right here. 404 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,475 - Where did you get that? 405 00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,390 - Out of my garter. 406 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:30,426 - This is a deed for 600 acres! 407 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,294 - Well, put your money on the table. 408 00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:34,363 - Yes, but suppose I lose? 409 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,964 - How could you lose? 410 00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,400 Six of clubs. 411 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,069 - I don't think I... 412 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,271 - Do you want to play or don't you? 413 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:43,805 - Alright. 414 00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:45,908 - Well but your money where your mouse is. 415 00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,910 - Where my mouse is? 416 00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,314 That's not my mouse. 417 00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:53,338 Scat! 418 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,109 - How 'bout the money? 419 00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:04,715 Alright, I deal. 420 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:07,953 - That's her sheriff! 421 00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:12,634 Well go ahead, pinch her. 422 00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,002 Well, don't pinch her. 423 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,337 Put the cuffs on her. 424 00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:17,339 - Doris, you're under arrest. 425 00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:19,007 - Wait a minute. 426 00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,031 What for? 427 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,111 - I'll tell you what for. 428 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,312 She's a shard cark. 429 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,647 - A shard cark? 430 00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:27,316 - He means a card shark. 431 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,317 - He does? 432 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:29,452 Then why didn't he say so? 433 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:31,820 Now are you going to arrest her? 434 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:32,821 - Come on, Doris. 435 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,656 - Boy, just a moment! 436 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,593 You said that this lady cheated at cards! 437 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,161 Can you prove it? 438 00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:40,563 - I certainly can. 439 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,030 That is a marked deck! 440 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,232 Here, I'll show ya. 441 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,855 The eight of clubs. 442 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,605 Two of diamonds. 443 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,540 Well, I guess that proves it. 444 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,075 - You didn't prove anything! 445 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,944 - Sheriff, I won't prefer charges if you give me 446 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,113 the land deed back. 447 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,047 - Well, what do you say, Doris? 448 00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,071 - Alright, there you are. 449 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,285 - What about the $800 I lost? 450 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,753 - Here you are, take it. - Well, no! 451 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:05,787 Wait that's my... 452 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,022 - Can I use your bag please? 453 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,491 - No, of course not, this is my money! 454 00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:11,994 - Stranger, I wouldn't get involved in this if I was you. 455 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,497 There've been too many complaints about you, Doris. 456 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,965 I want you to get on that stage and get outta town 457 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,701 and make sure you're outta town by sundown. 458 00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:22,438 - Gee, I'll try, but I don't think I can be ready by then. 459 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:26,631 Not you, her! 460 00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:31,313 - I want to thank you very much, now I'm broke. 461 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,682 - So am I, Maurice. 462 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,050 - Horace. 463 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,552 - Maurice Horace. 464 00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,220 That's a pretty name. 465 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:39,743 Let's get married! 466 00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:44,360 - Look, I've got to get a job and earn some money 467 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,694 so I can buy a farm! 468 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:48,096 Are there any jobs around here? 469 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,467 - Yes, the railroad is building a spur line from Pixlie. 470 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,369 Do you know how to lay track? 471 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:57,039 - No, but I'm honest and not afraid to work. 472 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:58,106 I can learn! 473 00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:06,415 ♪ When John Henry was a little baby 474 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,051 ♪ Sittin' on his mammy's knee. 475 00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:12,388 ♪ He pointed his finger at a piece of steel 476 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:13,522 Ooo! 477 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,390 Ohh! 478 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:15,391 - Oh! 479 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,892 That's what I like to see. 480 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,927 A fellow who enjoys his work, singing and dancing. 481 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,131 - I'm not dancing, I hit my foot with a sledge hammer! 482 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,500 I'm quitting! 483 00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,068 - Then how are we going to get married? 484 00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,503 - We're not! 485 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,738 We can't afford to get married on the money I'm making! 486 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:30,939 - What? 487 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,141 You just got a raise to seven cents an hour! 488 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:37,012 - We can't get married until I get $800 to buy a farm. 489 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:38,113 - That'll do it? 490 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,582 - Yes. 491 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:42,384 - What time does the train crew goes to lunch? 492 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,408 - In a few minutes, why? 493 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,156 - What are you going to do? 494 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:49,458 - Don't go away. 495 00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:50,959 I'll be right back. 496 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:04,273 Hello there! 497 00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:05,107 - Doris! 498 00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:06,642 Where did you go? 499 00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,378 - Here, here is the money for the farm. 500 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,981 - Doris, the sheriff warned... 501 00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:15,651 - You don't have to worry, he isn't the sheriff any more. 502 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:16,885 - He isn't? 503 00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:20,021 - No, he tried to fill an inside straight. 504 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:21,022 Doris! 505 00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,046 - Maurice. 506 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:26,462 Horace! 507 00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,301 Ooo! 508 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:33,402 Well, this is it. 509 00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:35,036 Our farm. 510 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:39,397 - You paid $800 for that? 511 00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,478 - Well yes, the fella built it that way 512 00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:43,679 to keep the Indians away. 513 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,047 - It'll keep me away too. 514 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:48,183 - Oh, please, it's really a beautiful house. 515 00:21:48,207 --> 00:21:50,852 And we have 600 acres of fertile land 516 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:52,521 and I have a beautiful wife. 517 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:55,658 There's only one thing I need to make my life complete. 518 00:21:55,682 --> 00:21:56,847 - What's that? 519 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:58,750 - A baby. 520 00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,764 - Don't go away, I'll be right back. 521 00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:02,788 Hello there! 522 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:04,800 - Oh, what? 523 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,268 - There you are, your baby. 524 00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:07,436 - Where did you... 525 00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,271 - There was a ladies' poker game. 526 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:11,873 - Take that back! 527 00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:12,908 - Alright. 528 00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:17,446 - What the... - Well it was only a doll, 529 00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:20,982 but someday, we have one of our own. 530 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,006 - Doris! 531 00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:24,252 - Oh, Maurice! 532 00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:25,276 - Horace! 533 00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:27,356 - Oh! 534 00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:32,461 - Howdy. 535 00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,462 - Howdy. 536 00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:34,763 - You remember Ben Drucker. 537 00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:37,566 Mr Drucker' building a general store I hear. 538 00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:39,635 - Yeah, the Monroe brothers are buildin' it for me. 539 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:40,803 - I'm Larry. 540 00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:41,827 - I'm Harry. 541 00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:44,206 - Well, pleased to meet you fellas. 542 00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:45,750 - Oh, he's not a fella, he's my sister. 543 00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:47,909 - Oh? 544 00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:48,910 - You married, honey? 545 00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:50,512 - Yes, he is! 546 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:51,847 - Doggone it! 547 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,148 How am I ever gonna find me a man 548 00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:54,149 out here in the wilderness? 549 00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:55,217 - Build yourself one. 550 00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:58,153 - I guess there's gonna be a lot of work here 551 00:22:58,177 --> 00:22:59,421 for carpenters, huh? 552 00:22:59,445 --> 00:23:01,056 People are starting to move in. 553 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,025 Some day this is gonna be quite a thriving community. 554 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,462 - Yeah, we outta think of a name for this place. 555 00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:09,631 - Maybe we could name it after Maurice here. 556 00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:10,655 - Horace. 557 00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:13,068 - Oh, yes. 558 00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:15,771 Why don't we call it Horace Heights? 559 00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:20,509 - Yeah, that has a nice musical sound to it. 560 00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:23,746 - No, I think there is a Horace Heights someplace. 561 00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:26,648 - Well, how about Hooter Heights? 562 00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:27,949 - How about Philadelphia? 563 00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:29,217 - They got one. 564 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,787 - Well, I hope somebody thinks of a name for it. 565 00:23:31,811 --> 00:23:34,490 - Don't worry, Mr. Hooter will. 566 00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:35,679 - Hooterville! 567 00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:40,228 That's it! 568 00:23:41,554 --> 00:23:42,554 - Well? 569 00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,835 That's approximately how Hooterville was fou... 570 00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:49,471 Was started. 571 00:23:49,495 --> 00:23:51,473 At least according to the research that I did. 572 00:23:51,497 --> 00:23:52,941 And you think it'd make a good play. 573 00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:55,611 - It sure would it Red Skelton did it. 574 00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:58,781 - Well if you don't like it, you don't have to do it. 575 00:23:58,805 --> 00:24:00,582 - Well why don't we put it to a vote? 576 00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:03,251 All those in favor, say "Aye." 577 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,588 - What kind of a vote is that? 578 00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,290 - It ain't a vote of confidence. 579 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,527 - Well if you want to celebrate the centennial, 580 00:24:11,551 --> 00:24:13,896 you'd better make up your minds how you want to do it. 581 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,697 - Well, there ain't no hurry. 582 00:24:15,721 --> 00:24:17,566 - The centennial is Saturday! 583 00:24:17,590 --> 00:24:20,168 - Yeah, Saturday a year from now. 584 00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:21,192 - What? 585 00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:25,407 - Well, we like to plan things ahead of time. 586 00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:31,580 - A year ahead of time? 587 00:24:31,604 --> 00:24:34,149 Did you ever hear anything so ridiculous? 588 00:24:34,173 --> 00:24:35,918 What's the matter with the people in this town... 589 00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:37,118 - Gin! 590 00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,320 - What? 591 00:24:38,344 --> 00:24:41,022 That's the 10th hand you win Gin on. 592 00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,559 - Well I guess I'm just lucky that way. 593 00:24:43,583 --> 00:24:44,849 Five of spades. 594 00:24:47,419 --> 00:24:48,730 - Doris! 595 00:24:48,754 --> 00:24:49,965 - Maurice. 596 00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:51,733 Horace! 597 00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:34,431 This has been a Filmways presentation, darling. 38788

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