All language subtitles for Dads Army s02e06 Under Fire
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1
00:00:13,420 --> 00:00:20,040
Who do you think you are kidding, Mr.
Hitler, if you think we're on
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00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,280
the run?
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00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:27,380
We are the boys who will stop your
little game.
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00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:32,180
We are the boys who will make you sing
again.
5
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:36,580
Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr.
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00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,840
Hitler, if you think old England's done?
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00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:49,160
Mr. Brown goes off to town on the 821,
but he comes home each
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00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,860
evening and he's ready with his gun.
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00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:56,320
So who do you think you are kidding, Mr.
10
00:00:56,540 --> 00:01:00,820
Hitler? If you think old England got
you.
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00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,400
Sorry, sir.
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00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:37,679
Good Lord.
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00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:38,680
Did you sleep yet, sir?
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00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:39,880
No, no.
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00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,060
More's the pity with those damned
aircraft passing over all the time.
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00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,640
What a shocking night.
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00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,500
Elizabeth, you know, very nervous type.
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As soon as the siren goes, she's in the
cupboard under the stairs.
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00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:54,740
Wild horses wouldn't drag her out until
the all clear. Scared out of her wits.
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And where were you, sir?
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Well, I don't like to leave her alone,
so I have to go in too.
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00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,920
And to make matters worse, we've got
Elizabeth's mother staying with us.
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00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,680
She sat on my chair all night with a gas
mask on her lap, clutching her pension
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00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:12,760
book. I sat on a camp stool, my elbow on
the gas meter, head resting against a
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00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:13,638
coat hook.
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00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:14,640
Dear, dear.
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00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:17,340
I spent the night under the kitchen
table, sir.
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I didn't know you had a kitchen table.
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I'm not sure I have any more.
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No, I was at a friend's house.
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There was so much shrapnel from the ack
-ack that they wouldn't let me go home.
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Lucky they had pyjamas to fit you,
wasn't it?
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Yes, yes, it was.
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00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:38,480
Oh!
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Honestly, Arthur, you'd forget your head
if it wasn't screwed on. Mavis, I don't
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need this. And you were asleep.
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00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,840
Oh, afraid you might wake me up, were
you?
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00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,440
Good morning, Mr. Mannerman.
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00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:52,800
Yes, good morning.
40
00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:57,320
Yes, I had to leave mine as well.
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00:02:57,740 --> 00:02:59,800
It was in the airing cupboard in the
bathroom.
42
00:03:00,859 --> 00:03:02,160
Elizabeth's mother was in residence.
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00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,040
Extraordinary woman. She sits there for
hours.
44
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:06,860
What does she want now?
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00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:10,000
Ah! Good morning, Corporal Square.
46
00:03:10,380 --> 00:03:11,380
Corporal Colonel Square!
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00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:14,580
Oh, yes, of course. Good morning,
Corporal Colonel Square. We didn't
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00:03:14,580 --> 00:03:15,459
quite so soon.
49
00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:16,460
So it seems.
50
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,960
Keep to prepare this morning's exercise.
51
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,280
Extraordinary.
52
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,220
I think we'd better get dressed as
quickly as possible before the rest of
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00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:28,960
platoon troops in. I quite agree, sir.
54
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,430
I recommend you get a pair of these
before the winter sets in, Wilson.
55
00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:35,610
Well, funny enough, sir, I bought my own
pair last week.
56
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:40,070
I got them especially for when we're on
guard.
57
00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:42,230
Those denims aren't very thick.
58
00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:45,590
I must say, they look rather cosy, sir.
59
00:03:45,950 --> 00:03:48,930
It's 22 and 6 from Mrs. Nolan's.
60
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:50,390
Under the counter, of course.
61
00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:54,110
She has any amount of stuff hidden away,
you know. So it seems. Must be quite an
62
00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:55,069
Aladdin's cave.
63
00:03:55,070 --> 00:03:56,990
Yes, look at this double stitching.
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00:03:58,590 --> 00:03:59,590
Good grief.
65
00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:01,110
Good morning. Good morning.
66
00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:04,730
Should I come back later? No, no, no.
We're just getting into our uniforms.
67
00:04:05,010 --> 00:04:05,948
Ah.
68
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:07,010
Can I help you at all, sir?
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00:04:07,310 --> 00:04:09,770
Yes, well, London took a bit of a pacing
last night.
70
00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:11,110
Oh, did they indeed?
71
00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:12,810
Poor devils.
72
00:04:13,310 --> 00:04:14,970
We heard them passing over all night.
73
00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:18,750
Well, it may well be your turn next.
They're using an enormous number of
74
00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:19,750
incendiary bombs.
75
00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:23,330
The old man wants all units to put on
maximum strength to help tackle them.
76
00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:25,530
Well, you can count on my men to give
every support.
77
00:04:25,950 --> 00:04:28,600
Well, the main thing... It's to check
your sand and your water supplies.
78
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,760
Make sure that's done, Wilson. Sir.
79
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,020
How's Square getting on with the
guerrilla training?
80
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:37,980
Huh. Bit old -fashioned, if you ask me,
sir. Well, he seems full of ideas for
81
00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:38,980
harassing the enemy.
82
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,300
Yeah, you must admit, sir, he comes up
with one or two good wheezes.
83
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,400
That's stop me and buy one, for
instance.
84
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,920
Filling choc -ice is full of harpic.
85
00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:48,840
Hardly appropriate for modern warfare,
Wilson.
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00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,920
Infantry left, engage.
87
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,280
Point to soldier right, engage.
88
00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:58,670
Put them on the left. Engage. We'd
better go see what's going on. Right.
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00:04:59,450 --> 00:05:00,490
Into the left.
90
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,190
Engage. Right.
91
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:03,790
Charge!
92
00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:15,010
Preach! Scott!
93
00:05:15,090 --> 00:05:18,150
What's going on? Are you all right,
Jonesy? I'm sorry, Mr. Melvin.
94
00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:20,410
I had my saber in me break hand.
95
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:24,190
You're lucky you didn't do yourself an
injury, Jones. Well, I'd have done those
96
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,230
Jerrys an injury, sir.
97
00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:28,890
They'd have felt my coat steal right up
them. And they wouldn't have liked it,
98
00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:30,110
sir. They would not have liked it.
99
00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:32,370
Oh, disaster.
100
00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:34,250
What's the matter? Have you broken
something?
101
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:35,710
Yes, sir.
102
00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:38,410
Me pump.
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00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,170
No, British fool.
104
00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:42,310
You're not on a Sunday school ride.
105
00:05:42,650 --> 00:05:43,870
You're killing Nazis.
106
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,650
Would it be more frightening if we rang
our bells?
107
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:49,830
Back to your place, Walker. Just a
suggestion.
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00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:54,250
What's going on, Corporal? Forming a
mobile strike force, sir. Swift and
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00:05:54,390 --> 00:06:00,010
sabre -slashing, thrusting where the
enemy least expects it, on bicycles.
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00:06:01,010 --> 00:06:02,290
Now, let's have another go.
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00:06:02,970 --> 00:06:04,210
Infantry right, engage.
112
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,130
Point. Infantry left, engage.
113
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,570
All right, all right, that'll be enough
of that. I want to address the men.
114
00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:14,430
Excuse me, Mr. Manoran. I won't be able
to do any more charging till I get me
115
00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:15,169
brakes fixed.
116
00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:15,789
Yes, all right.
117
00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:17,430
And I shall need a new valve rubber.
118
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:18,770
Yes, yes, yes.
119
00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:20,050
And I shall have to get me pump fixed.
120
00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:23,720
Mind you, I could be first line of
reinforcement, sir. Jones, please.
121
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:25,020
Yes, sir.
122
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:29,100
Fall the men in, Corporal Squire.
Corporal Colonel Squire. Fall in. Three
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00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:33,380
Don't let us keep you, Captain Bailey.
124
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,840
Oh, no, that's all right. I'm in no
hurry. Oh, very well.
125
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,360
We young officers at Area Command are
always keen to see how you veterans
126
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,360
operate.
127
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:43,080
See, Joe, it's my private property.
128
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:46,700
I know a geezer can get you a new front
wheel, 17 and 6, throwing a pump and
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00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:47,700
all. Walk up.
130
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,460
When you've finished, fall in.
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00:06:49,850 --> 00:06:51,410
Chocolates, cigarettes, ices.
132
00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:52,810
But hurry up.
133
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:54,050
Now, settle down.
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Squad. Wrong. Attend.
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00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:00,870
Wrong. Is there something you wanted to
say?
136
00:07:01,990 --> 00:07:06,390
You're giving the wrong command,
mainwaring. We aren't a squad.
137
00:07:06,650 --> 00:07:07,870
We're a platoon.
138
00:07:08,230 --> 00:07:10,010
Well, I'm sure what you say is correct.
139
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These chaps here are fighting troops.
140
00:07:12,770 --> 00:07:14,170
Not parade ground wallers.
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00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:16,650
Results are what we're after. Not a load
of bull.
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00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:19,370
Right. Squad. Platoon.
143
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,320
Very sloppy movement, June.
144
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,120
It was a very sloppy command.
145
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You ought to put some snap into it, man.
146
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,780
Platoon, stand at ease.
147
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,760
Platoon, attention.
148
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,460
There you are. You see, when they hear a
proper word of command, they jump to it
149
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:51,460
altogether.
150
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,360
Grateful to your help, Corporal Square.
151
00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:04,300
Corporal Colonel Square. Time is in the
ranks.
152
00:08:05,060 --> 00:08:06,060
Look to your front.
153
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,640
Did you shave this morning?
154
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:09,920
Look to your front.
155
00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:13,860
Well, next time, stand nearer the razor.
156
00:08:18,020 --> 00:08:19,520
Platoon ready for inspection, sir.
157
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:21,880
Well done, Wilson.
158
00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:25,920
It's nothing, sir. It's just something I
picked up in Catterick.
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00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,200
Do you mind?
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All right, now pay attention, please.
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Now, so far, Hitler has lacked the
courage to come and scrap with a toe -to
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00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:41,259
-toe.
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00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:43,500
Instead, he's using a cowardly weapon.
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00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:48,500
Aerial attack with a firebomb. Now, you
all know how to deal with these, but we
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00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,440
must check that our equipment is in tip
-top condition.
166
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:55,560
Now, Fraser, you've been responsible for
the stirrup pump.
167
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Is it in working order?
168
00:08:57,340 --> 00:08:58,340
Aye, sir.
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I'll bring it round after parade.
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00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:02,750
Good. Bring it round?
171
00:09:03,730 --> 00:09:07,990
Why isn't it here? I've been using it
for the Dig for Victory campaign, sir.
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00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,210
In my garden.
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00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,550
My apples have got the blight.
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00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:16,110
This is a vital piece of military
equipment, Fraser.
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00:09:16,610 --> 00:09:18,410
It's not supposed to leave our
headquarters.
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00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:22,070
I trust you didn't borrow the water as
well? No, sir.
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00:09:23,010 --> 00:09:24,010
Just the bucket.
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00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:27,850
See their returns, would you, Wilson?
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00:09:28,910 --> 00:09:29,910
Right.
180
00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:35,990
Corporal Jones, I want you to check the
sand buckets and the fire extinguishers.
181
00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:37,730
Oh, and the long -handled shovel.
182
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,770
Oh, don't tell me that's been borrowed.
183
00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:44,630
Yes, sir. For the command post stove,
sir. I'm sure you don't need a 12 -foot
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00:09:44,630 --> 00:09:45,990
shovel for the command post stove.
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00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:48,490
You do for nicking the coal from the
railway siding.
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00:09:49,930 --> 00:09:51,630
Wilson! I'll see they're brought back,
sir.
187
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:54,610
Well, I hope you don't see any action,
but if you do, good luck.
188
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:59,080
Well, you can rest assured that this
unit will be 100 % ready when the sirens
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00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:03,880
blow. We'll form a firefighting force
and spotters will be posted on the
190
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,000
tower. Bully.
191
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,120
Bully? He's only jealous, sir.
192
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,000
Aye.
193
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,120
There's a lot coming over the night.
194
00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:24,130
Must be happening.
195
00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:29,070
You're trembling like a leaf.
196
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:30,730
Are you cold?
197
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:31,890
No, just frightened.
198
00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:34,470
I'm no blaming you.
199
00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:37,990
It's not them so much. It's being up
high.
200
00:10:39,170 --> 00:10:40,310
I've always been the same.
201
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:44,810
When I was in the civil service stores,
I could have had a wonderful job in
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00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,430
accounts. It was on the fifth floor.
203
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:52,880
How much longer before we're relieved?
204
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,440
Twenty minutes.
205
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,340
I'll just pop down for a minute.
206
00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:59,320
Mind, you've been doing this three times
already.
207
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,800
Why don't you go over there by the
gargoyle?
208
00:11:02,540 --> 00:11:03,980
Well, wouldn't that be sacrilege?
209
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,600
Sacrilege? What would you do if there
was a parachutist coming down?
210
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,520
Well, I hope you'd be too much of a
gentleman to look.
211
00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:16,780
No. I mean, you'd have to shoot him,
wouldn't you? No, I couldn't do that.
212
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,900
No, I'm not cut out for war, I'm afraid.
213
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:25,680
It's not that I'm a conscientious
objector or anything like that. I just
214
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:26,680
very good at it.
215
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:32,680
What's that over there?
216
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,760
That light.
217
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:37,400
It's going on and off.
218
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:38,840
Damn it, man.
219
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,660
I believe the signaling.
220
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,660
Who would do a thing like that?
221
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:44,020
There it is.
222
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:50,160
It's on the corner of Mortimer Street,
near where the bomb dropped last night.
223
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:51,920
Let's go tell the captain.
224
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,120
Yes, sir.
225
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,180
Wilson! Sir?
226
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:03,940
Wilson, look at this.
227
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:05,920
It's rather good, sir.
228
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,100
Wilson,
229
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,480
have a word with Miss Beckwith.
230
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:12,380
If this sort of thing carries on, I
shall have to keep those children out of
231
00:12:12,380 --> 00:12:13,019
here altogether.
232
00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:14,020
Right, sir.
233
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:15,880
Captain Manning, sir.
234
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,220
There's a light going on and off in the
town.
235
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,740
We think it's someone signaling to the
enemy.
236
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:22,660
Are you sure you're not mistaken, sir?
Absolutely.
237
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:26,640
We both saw it. It's on the corner of
Mortimer Street.
238
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:30,180
I'll phone the police. Why waste time
phoning them? You have the authority.
239
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:31,580
You're on active service.
240
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,500
Attack! I'll take the decisions around
here, Square.
241
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,500
This is a police business. Wouldn't you
say so, Wilson?
242
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,940
I'm saying it isn't ours, sir.
243
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,720
Isn't it? What if it's a German
paratrooper marking the target?
244
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,240
Let's go get him, sir.
245
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:45,640
Very well.
246
00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:47,850
If action is needed, I'm the first one
to take it.
247
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:50,050
You know where it is. Fraser, lead the
way.
248
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:51,310
Stay here, Square.
249
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:55,190
You'll come with me, Wilson. Could you
give me a couple of minutes before we
250
00:12:55,270 --> 00:12:57,190
sir? Certainly not. Every second is
vital.
251
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,410
Yes, it is.
252
00:13:01,710 --> 00:13:02,730
Lead on, Fraser!
253
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,520
Did you hear that shrapnel falling? A
lump missed you by inches, sir. I know,
254
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:19,520
heard it.
255
00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:20,540
Godfrey and Fraser, all right?
256
00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:23,320
No, Fraser's helping him. Godfrey's not
very sharp on his pins, are you, Fraser?
257
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:24,640
Top floor, is it? Sir.
258
00:13:26,820 --> 00:13:27,820
Carry you two.
259
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,460
My, it's coming down.
260
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,100
Are you sure this is the house, Fraser?
261
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,520
I said it is. Right, see if we can see
the name.
262
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:39,020
Put that light out, you bloody lunatic!
263
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,640
No, I didn't see it. I did, sir. It was
Murphy.
264
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:43,820
Murphy? That's suspicious.
265
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:45,680
It could be a nasty business.
266
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,300
Would you like my flashlight, sir?
267
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:49,560
It's rather a nice one.
268
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:54,800
It has three colors. Green, blue, and
green, red, and white.
269
00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:57,700
You sign these things here. Yes, all
right, Godfrey.
270
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:19,540
What is it you are wanting?
271
00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:23,040
One of my men saw a light flashing on
and off in your flat.
272
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:24,700
Don't be so damned ridiculous.
273
00:14:25,540 --> 00:14:26,580
Who are you?
274
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:30,240
I'm Captain Manoring, Home Guard. What's
more to the point? Who are you?
275
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,660
My name is Murphy.
276
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:34,780
Sigmund Murphy.
277
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,620
Put that light out!
278
00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:39,800
You're not English, are you?
279
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:44,540
What are you talking about? I have lived
here for 25 years.
280
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,000
You don't sound like an Englishman.
281
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:50,130
For that matter, my friend, neither do
you.
282
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,890
I think he was born here for some
reason.
283
00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:56,290
I was born in Salzburg.
284
00:14:56,590 --> 00:14:58,150
That's Germany, isn't it?
285
00:14:58,390 --> 00:15:00,430
No, it is not. It is Austria.
286
00:15:00,770 --> 00:15:03,350
But I am a naturalized Englishman. Yes?
287
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:05,090
Then why do you call yourself Murphy?
288
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,990
With a born, how would you like to be
called?
289
00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:09,770
Von Schinkenhausen.
290
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,310
I can see his point, sir.
291
00:15:13,119 --> 00:15:17,180
Anyway, the point is, one of my men saw
you flashing a light as if signalling.
292
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,160
He was doing it last night as well.
293
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,520
Why do you say such damned lies?
294
00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:22,980
Oh, yes, he was.
295
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:24,660
Just before the bomb dropped.
296
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:25,939
Are you mad?
297
00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:29,060
Do you think I signalled so they drop a
bomb on me?
298
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:31,740
You don't want to take any notice of
her.
299
00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:34,260
She is just an interfering old cow.
300
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,480
And what about all those sailors that
are visiting your flat?
301
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,760
You should go inside, sir, before a
scene develops. Yes, I think that's
302
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,640
advisable. Take that woman's name.
303
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:59,680
Now, Murphy, what have you got to say
about this signalling? I tell you, I was
304
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,220
not doing the signalling.
305
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,300
But you're a German, though, aren't you?
306
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:05,220
I'm as British as you are.
307
00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:06,700
Now, don't start that all over again.
308
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,300
Captain Manoring. Yes, what has it got
to do?
309
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,380
Oh, not now, for heaven's sake.
310
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:16,620
He's a German. I know damn fine he's a
German.
311
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:22,100
mind keeping your dog under control he's
been in my room again look there it's a
312
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:28,800
german dog come here you bad boys it's
even got a german
313
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:35,060
name damn foreigners you ought to be
interned why don't you mind your own
314
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:41,240
business it's your moment of glory isn't
it 25 years he's been plotting all this
315
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,640
get back into your cupboard you old hag
he's a spy
316
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:46,720
Don't be so ridiculous.
317
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,220
You ought to be done away with.
318
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:50,440
Oh, come, come, madam.
319
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,500
I've been in my room every night eating
my slippers.
320
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,260
I think she is talking about my dog.
321
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:02,800
He was sticking in last night, no matter
what he says.
322
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:06,079
Nazi. I am not a Nazi.
323
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:08,640
I am British.
324
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:13,660
There's often a strong foreign smell
coming from his kitchen.
325
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,440
Smounds of garlic.
326
00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:21,160
And he walks out of cinemas before they
finish playing God Save the King.
327
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:22,880
Does he indeed?
328
00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:28,319
Well, the evidence against you seems
pretty strong, Mr. Murphy.
329
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,440
I'm taking you into custody so the
police can investigate.
330
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:33,080
Do you think that's wise, sir?
331
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,480
The whole world has gone mad.
332
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,800
I'll take full responsibility, Wilson.
Fall in the guard. Done.
333
00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:43,440
Bring him along to headquarters.
334
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:47,690
Before we go, do you think I could just
wash my hands?
335
00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:49,230
Certainly not.
336
00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:52,090
My God.
337
00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:54,210
I think he is a German.
338
00:17:56,950 --> 00:18:01,410
Right. If there are any suspects, I'll
hold them until we can hand them over to
339
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:02,410
the civil power.
340
00:18:02,730 --> 00:18:04,770
What are you worried about? I'm in
command.
341
00:18:05,530 --> 00:18:06,750
You're very funny.
342
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:11,190
Right. Well, I'm coming back there as
soon as I can hand over. You sound as if
343
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:12,190
you need me.
344
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,640
I don't see what a hole in the head has
to do with it.
345
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,740
Frank's forgotten Balaclava. Where is
he?
346
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,260
He's fire -spotting on the church tower.
347
00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:23,760
We'll catch his death.
348
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:27,200
I'm going to have words about this.
Here, ma 'am, you can't go out without a
349
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,120
steel helmet. You'd better take mine.
350
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:30,420
Oh, thanks.
351
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,060
You are an officer and a gentleman,
Colonel.
352
00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:37,100
Not Colonel. That was when I was in the
regular army, in the last lot.
353
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,550
With Lawrence.
354
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:40,510
Lawrence. Lawrence who?
355
00:18:40,990 --> 00:18:42,510
Lawrence of Arabia.
356
00:18:43,410 --> 00:18:45,210
I'm only a corporal in this mob.
357
00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:49,430
As an ex -colonel, it must come pretty
hard to take orders from a captain.
358
00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:53,110
I'm used to it, ma 'am. I had the same
problem when I was only a second
359
00:18:53,110 --> 00:18:55,270
lieutenant. Jerusalem campaign.
360
00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:57,030
Siege of Jaffa.
361
00:18:57,410 --> 00:18:58,690
Not enough pips.
362
00:19:01,370 --> 00:19:03,590
Yes. Well, thanks anyway.
363
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:06,410
Dear corpse.
364
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,840
Corporal Colonel, it's getting a bit hot
up there.
365
00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:12,160
There's lumps of shrapnel coming down
like hail.
366
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,740
Get back to your post.
367
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,160
If one of them peters at me, I'll be
killed.
368
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,140
That's what soldiers are for.
369
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,600
Get back.
370
00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:24,620
Didn't care for that very much, sir. I
quite agree, Wilson.
371
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:27,920
Being brave is all very well, but it's
damn frightening.
372
00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:34,480
Right, bring him in, Fraser.
373
00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:39,670
Is this your prisoner?
374
00:19:40,070 --> 00:19:41,170
You'll be the laughing stock.
375
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:42,390
That's what you'll be.
376
00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:45,130
The laughing stock. Sounds like a
blasted hun.
377
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,470
I tell you, I'm a British citizen.
378
00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:50,190
I've told command they're informing the
civil power.
379
00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:51,169
The who?
380
00:19:51,170 --> 00:19:52,169
The policeman.
381
00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:53,069
The police.
382
00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:55,210
The point is, what do we do with them in
the meantime?
383
00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:58,930
In the desert, we used to bury them up
to their necks in the sand and leave
384
00:19:58,930 --> 00:19:59,930
them.
385
00:20:00,090 --> 00:20:01,750
Oh, we can't very well do that here.
386
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,090
We could always take him down to the
beach, sir. Oh, don't.
387
00:20:06,230 --> 00:20:07,850
We'll come up with something.
388
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:12,400
You have to stand on your own two feet
sooner or later. I've been called back
389
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,800
HQ. Have you? Well, we'll try to manage
without you.
390
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:20,760
I wish I'd had you in the desert,
mainwaring. I might have made a soldier
391
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:21,760
you.
392
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:26,120
No, damn it. I don't believe even I
could have done it.
393
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:32,220
And don't salute without your hat on.
394
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:34,480
Damned arrogance.
395
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:39,120
I'm going to talk to the general about
him. You won't be needing me for a few
396
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,120
moments. Oh, sir.
397
00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:43,280
There's a general coming down along the
place, sir.
398
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,220
Roll him in. There's one coming through
the roof.
399
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,580
He told it up, sir. He told it up.
400
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:52,520
Fraser,
401
00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:55,380
give a hand outside.
402
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,140
We'll deal with the one in the hall.
403
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:01,220
Walker, go get the pump. Wilson, you
guard him, sir.
404
00:21:11,530 --> 00:21:13,330
it, Corporal? I wasn't panicking, sir.
405
00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:14,830
Right.
406
00:21:15,950 --> 00:21:20,090
Walker, you can't agree? Pass the hose
through. I'll take the model.
407
00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:23,510
It's the jet for the fire and the spray
for the bomb, sir. Yes, I know that.
408
00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:24,389
Where's the end?
409
00:21:24,390 --> 00:21:26,830
I'm trying to find it, sir. Here we are,
sir.
410
00:21:36,910 --> 00:21:37,910
It's empty, sir.
411
00:21:37,950 --> 00:21:40,390
Empty. Well, fill it from the static
water tank outside.
412
00:21:40,670 --> 00:21:42,560
Fisher! Goons! Hit, sir!
413
00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:49,740
Water on!
414
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,760
More hose! Far away!
415
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,660
I need more hose, dammit!
416
00:21:58,460 --> 00:21:59,460
That's more like it.
417
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:00,700
Water on!
418
00:22:00,740 --> 00:22:01,740
Right, sir.
419
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,540
Excuse me, sir.
420
00:22:08,180 --> 00:22:10,580
Could I have the excuse for a moment?
Certainly not.
421
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:35,920
used to say that, sir.
422
00:22:36,420 --> 00:22:40,640
Hurry up and fix it, Godfrey. I'm
trying, sir. Has anybody got a little
423
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,960
screwdriver? There you go. Free in a
tonne. What about the five things on the
424
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,060
side, sir? Good idea, Mike.
425
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:48,880
Right. Grab it, Mike.
426
00:22:50,700 --> 00:22:51,760
Now, strike the knob.
427
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,140
No, not like that, on the floor.
428
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:55,560
Not too hard.
429
00:22:56,540 --> 00:22:57,540
Well, harder than that.
430
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,360
Don't give it to me, you stupid boy.
431
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,640
No, get out of the light.
432
00:23:18,780 --> 00:23:20,380
Do you think you can hurry up, sir?
433
00:23:20,620 --> 00:23:22,840
What do you think I'm trying to do? It's
just that it's spreading.
434
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:25,400
Well, get some water and get back and
guard that Jerry, sir.
435
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:29,820
Oh, Frank, I've been looking for you
everywhere.
436
00:23:30,020 --> 00:23:31,060
Put this on.
437
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:34,500
Wait a minute, Madeline.
438
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,160
He's on the stage.
439
00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:37,300
I expect he needs me.
440
00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:38,960
Up now, Mrs. Pike.
441
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,520
You can't hear death running around like
this.
442
00:23:42,620 --> 00:23:43,559
Where's the speak, sir?
443
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,220
It's what it is, corporal. I brought
another bucket of water, sir. Oh, good.
444
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,520
I think we'd better try the stirrup pump
again. Yes, sir.
445
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,360
Hey! Hey! That's my bucket!
446
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:53,560
Oh,
447
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,380
no, the long -handled shovel. Where is
it? Outside the office, sir.
448
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:00,560
What'll this do, sir?
449
00:24:00,820 --> 00:24:03,220
Crank my sprinkler like taffy while I
get it over here.
450
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,640
the head warden that someone's been
signaling to those planes overhead.
451
00:24:59,980 --> 00:25:01,080
Don't worry about it, warden.
452
00:25:01,340 --> 00:25:02,920
We've apprehended the alleged culprit.
453
00:25:03,340 --> 00:25:06,680
My men spotted him. He was in a house on
the corner of Mortimer Street. Oh, no.
454
00:25:06,780 --> 00:25:08,920
No, no, no. It was this story it was on
about.
455
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,660
It keeps opening and shutting and
shining a blinding light every time a
456
00:25:12,660 --> 00:25:13,660
wave comes over.
457
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,120
You've got a rotten apple in your
barrel.
458
00:25:16,580 --> 00:25:18,160
Now, who is it, hmm?
459
00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:21,460
Hello, Siggy. What are you doing here?
460
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,020
This is the man who was signaling.
461
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,240
And what's more...
462
00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:26,420
He's a German.
463
00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:29,520
Oh, no, he's not. He's a British
subject.
464
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:33,560
What's more, he's married to my aunt,
the Ethel. They told the whole street I
465
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:34,560
was a spy.
466
00:25:34,780 --> 00:25:39,280
Oh, no, this is where the spy is, mate.
This is where the signal came from.
467
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,900
You just asked the head warden.
468
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:42,940
Oh, look, a memory.
469
00:25:43,300 --> 00:25:45,600
There's another stick of fireballs
there. They've fallen right across the
470
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:50,040
street. Right, out you go, men. Grab the
pub walker, get the water drones, and
471
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,860
every sandbag you can lay your...
472
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:02,320
Wonderful people.
473
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:03,360
We are brave.
474
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:05,580
We have the great sense of humor.
475
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,000
But I don't see how we are going to win
the war.
476
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,980
Yes, I must say, that thought does occur
to me from time to time.
477
00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:39,080
How's about this? You can head to Ad
Gold's channel on Twitter for your
478
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,080
to win a signed script of Dad's Army,
the last episode.
479
00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:46,120
That ends on the 1st of September, 18s
are over, T's and C's apply.
480
00:26:46,620 --> 00:26:49,420
Next, more Dad's Army with a classic
episode.
35402
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