All language subtitles for ege8sac

Once upon a time,

in a magical land
called Manhattan,

a young woman fell in love.

Charlotte and Jack locked eyes

at a black-tie benefit
-for Epstein/
-Barr.

She chased him through
every disease in New York.

They've been officially dating

since retinitis pigmentosa.

Jack was perfect for her.

Architect, philanthropist,

and the sex was amazing.

Late one night,

Jack popped
the inevitable question.

-So...
-Mm?

What are your fantasies?

Oh, God.

I'd love to own my own gallery,

and maybe a little cottage
in Maine.

Well, actually I meant more like

screwing in an airplane bathroom
kind of fantasies.

Oh.

The closest Charlotte
had ever come

to getting screwed on a plane

was the time she lost
all her luggage

on a flight to Palm Beach.

Well, I've always wanted
to do it in my parents' bed.

Wild, I like it.

What about you?

You, me, and another woman.

Come on!

I'm serious.

Charlotte, you have
no idea how sexy you are,

do you?

The idea of you touching
another woman...

God, it makes me hard
just thinking about it.

Wow.

Jack wants us to do a threesome!

Of course, he does,
every guy does.

Threesomes are huge right now.

They're the blow job of the '90.

What was the blow job
of the '80s?

Anal sex.

Any sex, period.

Don't let him
pressure you into it.

It's just this guy's cheap ploy

to watch you
be a lesbian for a night.

Don't knock it
until you've tried it.

I had a threesome once, I think.
In college.

I was drunk.
I woke up in someone else's bra.

The only way to do a threesome

is to be the guest star.

The guest star?

The girl the couple gets
to come in,

screw, and leave.

The pinch hitter.

Exactly.
It's perfect.

All the great sex
without wondering

what it will do to
your relationship.

But you don't have
relationships.

Which is why I have great sex.

I've never done a threesome.

Because you have relationships.

Well, I've never
done a threesome.

Oh, come on.
Of course, you haven't.

You in a threesome?
You won't even wear a thong!

Well, Jack thinks I'm sexy.

He's just buttering you up.

First, you start thinking
you're hot,

then he brings up
the threesome thing, boom!

Suddenly you're kissing
another woman
while he beats off.

Please.

Just make sure
that the other woman

isn't a friend.

Use somebody random.

You know, somebody you meet
in a bar or something.

That's romantic.

No, I think that I'd feel safer
with a friend,

with someone I could trust,
like Carrie.

Oh, gee, I'm flattered.

But um... I'd go with someone
who has a little more
experience, like Sam.

Well, thanks.

But there is something
sexy about a first-timer

like Charlotte.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, great, no, forget about me.

Oh, oh.
-Oh, come on.

You know,
I'd do it with you guys!

It's like...

It's like picking teams
for dodgeball all over again.

Was Samantha right?

Were threesomes
the new sexual frontier?

♪ One, two, three
True love ♪

No question.

Guys were infatuated
with threesomes.

And when I started looking,
they were everywhere.

After all,

our lives are built
on threesomes.

Fat, low-fat, non-fat,
first, business, economy.

Moe, Larry, Curly.

Maybe we were never
meant to do it

with only one other person.

Maybe threesomes were
the relationship of the future.

Meanwhile, Samantha
had been busy

guest starring in a show
I like to call

"Sam Does the Married Guy."

I love that you're not my wife.

I love that too.

I mean, that thing you
do with your hips,

Ruth won't even get on top.

Ken was 37,
a wine importer,

unhappily married to a woman

who designed
modular office furniture.

This affair was
the most exciting thing

that had happened to him
since the '94 Montrachet.

Five hours later,
Charlotte's night
was just beginning.

She and Jack had just had
another fantastic date,

dancing for dyslexia.

So, uh, what do you think
of her?

Is she hot?

Jack!

Yeah, you're right.

Maybe she's more your taste.

Stop it.

Have a light?

Sorry, I don't smoke.

That's a shame.

Did you see that?

She was flirting with us.

I think she was
flirting with you.

Charlotte, you are
such a turn-on.

And you have no idea.

You're giving off
this sexual energy all the time.

A vibe like you've
got a fire inside of you.

She'd be crazy not
to be into you.

Who knows whether
it was her vodka or her vibe,

but Charlotte suddenly did feel
a little warm.

I think she put her hand
on my leg.

So should I ask her to join us?

That night, she had
an eye-opening experience.

Charlotte hadn't been
that excited

since she tried on her
JV cheerleading uniform
for the first time.

So what do you think
your dream meant?

I'm in the sand box
with Charlotte, Sam, and Carrie.

None of them will play with me.
Please, it's obvious.

Across town, Miranda was dealing
with her own nightmare.

Look, I know it's juvenile,
but it bothers me.

I'm attractive,
I'm smart, right?

Plenty of people should want me
for a threesome.

So you're saying that you're
attracted to your girlfriends?

No!

But if your friends
won't go down on you,

who will?

Well, that's some dream.

It was so real.

I can't stop thinking about it.

-And I think I enjoyed it.
-That's great.

Dreams are a really good way
to experiment.

It's like buying a dress
and keeping the tags on.

But do you think it means
I should do it?

Have a threesome?

Jack says that I have
a fire inside me.

You tell him they
make a cream for that.

I'm serious!

I don't know. It's your call.

But don't do it
just to make Jack happy.

Maybe it would bring us closer.

Sweetie, don't you think
it's weird

that you're thinking of sleeping
with someone you don't know

to get closer to Jack?

But how well do we ever know
the people we sleep with?

That was the thing
about Charlotte.

Just when you were about
to write her off

as a Park Avenue Pollyanna,

she'd say something so right on,

you'd think she was
the Dalai Lama.

Do you think my hair
is too shiny today?

And then she'd say
something else.

Do you?

But the bigger
question remained,

if Charlotte was actually
considering a threesome,

who wasn't?

The Village Voice had more ads

looking for threesomes

than it did for small,

rat-infested studios

renting at $1,000 a month.

But who actually
answered these ads?

Wall Street honcho
seeks two horny gal pals

for an East Hampton
fuck-fest at my summer home.

No fatties, please.

Sweet, suburban schoolteacher

seeks two men to fulfill
her wildest fantasies.

You be black or Hispanic,
I'll be on time.

I need your dick now.

X-Files fanatic twosome

seeks Scully look-alike
for abduction fantasy.

Me, gorgeous with big boobs.

You, a couple with class.

Let's experience everything
the city has to offer.

I'm into museums,
blow jobs, theater,

and golden showers.

I seemed to be the only
person in New York

who still believed
in the one-on-one relationship.

Mr. Big and I were actually
doing sleepovers.

Which one?

This one.

You better be careful,

I could get used to this.

Why is it that putting
a tie around a man's neck

is sometimes even sexier
than taking it off?

What are you doing
for lunch today?

I could maybe swing
an hour between meetings.

Oh, no, sorry, I can't.

I have to interview someone.

About what?

Threesomes.

Ever done one?

Sure, who hasn't?

Really?

With who?

My ex-wife.

Suddenly, my column was
the last thing on my mind.

You were married?

Yeah, I, uh,
thought I told you.

No, no, you didn't.

An ex-wife, that's a new twist.

Yeah, and they had wild sex,
threesomes.

We don't have wild sex.

We used to,
but now we have sweet sex.

Wild always beats out sweet.

But he's not with her anymore.

Well, probably because they
stopped having wild sex.

You know,
that's why Ken's fucking me.

His wife won't even
give him a blow job.

Is that supposed to
make me feel better?

He's never gonna leave his wife
for you, you know.

They never do.

Thank God.
Who needs the trouble?

This is ideal, no muss, no fuss.

Sounds like you're selling
toilet bowl cleaner.

Does this color turn you on?

You had to hand it
to Miranda, she was determined.

It's a little bit orange.

You know, there's only
one thing left to do.

What, leave him
before he leaves me?

You kidding?

Check out the ex.

Charlotte was right.

We don't really know
the people we sleep with.

After all,
what did I really know
about Mr. Big?

Except he had
an ex-wife named Barbara

who I quickly discovered,
worked in publishing.

My plan was simple.

I'd pitch her a steamy,
bodice-ripping paperback,

which she'd probably reject,

but at least
I'd get five minutes

face-to-face with her.

Carrie?

Come right in,
Barbara's ready for you.

Thanks, bye.

Carrie Bradshaw,
I am so excited.

Oh.
-Sit down.

I am a huge fan of your work!

Good taste and beautiful.
Could it get worse?

Whoa.

Special Olympics chairwoman.

Sorry, I haven't hung it yet.

So, I'm dying
to hear your pitch.

I never knew
you were interested
in writing children's books.

Well, who doesn't
love children's books?

Five minutes of bodice-ripping
material out the window.

So I did
what any writer would do.

I pulled an idea out of my ass.

Well, my story is about
a little girl,

named Cathy.

Little Cathy.

And what makes
little Cathy special?

Well, she's got these magic...

cigarettes.

She has magic cigarettes?

Yes, little Cathy
and her magic cigarettes.

And whenever she lights up,
she can go anywhere

in the whole wide world.
You know, Arabia, New Jersey.

I mean that stuff is all
gonna be worked out, of course.

You wanna write
a children's book about smoking?

Well, it's a children's book
for adults.

You are outrageous.
I love it!

I thought you might.

I've been dying to do
something with an edge.

This could be great.

It was the last straw.

She was smart,
beautiful, and she got me.

I'd have to kill her.

Meanwhile, Samantha
was about to have her own

close encounter
with the third kind.

-Oh, I'm sorry.
-Sorry.

-Ken.
-Sam!

You two know each other?

-Sure.
-Not really.

Uh, Ruth,
this is Sam, Samantha.

She bought some
Pinot Noir from me.

Uh, Sam, this is my wife, Ruth.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Okay, we should
be going, see ya.

That afternoon was
a first for Samantha.

She successfully screwed a guy
in under two minutes.

The more Miranda analyzed,

the worse her nightmares got.

So, the four of us
get into a cab,

only they won't let me
sit in back with them.

They make me ride up front
with the driver,

who happens to be
the original Chris

from The Partridge Family .

What I'm hearing is
that you're still very upset

about being sexually rejected
by your friends.

Let me ask you something?

Would you do a threesome
with me?

I think we need to talk about
why you're asking me that.

I take that as a "no"?

That night,
I thought I could put
the whole Barbara thing

out of my mind.

After all, Mr. Big
was with me now.

Nibbling his earlobes?

How sweet.

Let me show you
how it's really done.

So I guess you couldn't
avoid a threesome,

because even if you're
the only person in the bed,

someone has always
been there before you.

Hey, what just happened?

Where'd you go?

I was preoccupied.

No kidding.
About what?

Your ex-wife's breasts,
your ex-wife's lips,

your ex-wife's long legs.

My column.

You know, I didn't
tell you I was married

because it was a long time ago.

What happened?

Alienation of affection,
followed by divorce.

Hmm.

Let's not talk about
the past, please.

What Mr. Big
didn't realize was

the past was sleeping
right next to me.

Hey.

The next day,
the flesh and blood Barbara

asked me to lunch.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Thanks for meeting me.

Oh, thanks for inviting me.

Wow, you changed your hair.

Oh, thanks.

Listen, I have
some not-great news.

I'm back with Mr. Big?

The head guys didn't go
for Little Cathy .

But fuck 'em,
they wouldn't know a good book
if it bit 'em in the ass.

Yeah, fuck 'em.

I still love the project,

and at the risk
of sounding like a groupie,

I'd really like it if
we could become friends.

Friends?

Two hours
and four Chardonnays later,

I was sleeping with the enemy.

So never been married?

Mm, once.
Long time ago.

Really?
What happened?

He had a wandering eye.

It wandered right over
to my best friend.

So what about you?
Are you seeing anyone?

No one special.

For Samantha,
the shit was about
to hit the phone.

-Hello.

It's over.
I told my wife!

Who is this?

It's Ken.

Wait, you told Ruth about us?

I'm in love with you.

Now we can be together.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

-Hang on.

-Hello.
-Samantha?

This is Ruth Scheer.
Ken's wife.

Yeah, I found your number
in his sock drawer.

Hang on.

Listen to me,
you love your wife.

No, I'm in love with you!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Sam's no muss,
no fuss affair

was starting to feel very mussy.

I'm back.

I don't know who you are,

but Ken and I love
each other very much.

Of course you do.

And we have an unshakable bond.

Whatever it takes,
I'm gonna keep
this marriage together.

Good for you!
Now, listen, Ruth,
this was a huge mistake.

It didn't mean anything.

It was just sex.

Well, exactly!

And if being
sexually adventuresome

will keep this
marriage together,

then I am prepared
to join you...

with him.

In bed.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Samantha
was a guest star.

Series regular
was not in her contract.

That night at the Attention
Deficit Disorder masked ball,

Charlotte felt free
to indulge her fantasy.

It's amazing what some sequins
on a stick

can do to free up inhibitions.

So who here is your type?

Do you like peacocks?

Do you?

Then Charlotte
did the unthinkable.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, she winked at me.

Excellent.

I need to get out of here.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

So how'd it feel?

Weird.

Well, I enjoyed it.

I do have another fantasy.

What's that?

Doing it upstairs at a party.

Can I join you?

She realized that
this was her moment.

If she was going to
take the plunge,

it was now or never.

Unfortunately,
it was Jack who plunged first.

Apparently, someone else's fire

was a little stronger
than Charlotte's.

She was not the guest star
in this fantasy.

Meanwhile, at a bar downtown...

Miranda?

Hi.

What a relief.

Oh!

Most of the women
who answered our ad, well,

they were, you know, kind of...

-Butt ugly.
-Yeah.

Oh, nothing like you.

Thanks.

We've never done anything
like this before.

It's a huge fantasy
of Mark's.

I offered to do it
for his 30th birthday.

Whatever happened
to giving a nice pen?

So are-- are you doing
anything tonight?

Let me just be clear here.

You want to do a
threesome with me.

Yeah.

You know, if you're busy,
we understand.

I tell you what,
let me just make a quick
phone call, okay?

That night, Miranda
finally got her validation.

Her shrink had suggested
she come three times a week.

I didn't see Mr. Big
for eight days.

Well, that was a great meal.

Yeah, it was.

Actually, the food was terrible

and we were both talking
to each other like strangers.

What is wrong?

Look.

You tell me you have an ex-wife,

you tell me you guys
had a three-way.

Yes, I asked.

But you drop this big bomb,

and you don't even
give me any details.

You don't even tell me
why you broke up.

I cheated on her.

Yeah, I know,
she told me at lunch.

I know you know.
She told me she told you.

-She told you?
-She told me.

See that's another thing.

You didn't tell me that
you're still talking to her.

I still talk to all my ex-wives.

I'm so not finding that funny.

Oh, come--
Listen, wait a minute.

You know, the reason
we had the threesome

is because we were both looking

for something or someone else.

Do you know anyone
who's right for me? Mmm?

♪ I know how tricky
things can be ♪

♪ But I really do
believe that... ♪

And then it was
just the two of us.

And I realized the real appeal
of the threesome,

it was easy.

It's intimacy that's the bitch.

♪ Listen here ♪

♪ Some things
are meant to be ♪

♪ Tried to
take it slow ♪

♪ Tried to lose control... ♪