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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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We will have free bread
and medicine for all,
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education and art for all.
4
00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:47,868
Every Russian heart will be full of joy,
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00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:51,198
their stomach full of food,
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and their mind full of ideas.
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This is Russia.
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Well, what does that mean?
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It needs to be believable.
10
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We must aim high.
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00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:05,128
No, he's right.
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"No one will rape you
or kill your children,
13
00:01:07,050 --> 00:01:09,638
and occasionally there will
be some bread" would be enough.
14
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,598
Oh, so far, I've written
a 74-page treatise.
15
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,148
I thought perhaps some Montaigne.
16
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I got stuck on Machiavelli.
17
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Read in the French translation,
18
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he says the ends justify the means.
19
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But in the original Italian,
he merely asks.
20
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,698
Oh, sorry!
21
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:32,448
I was holding... holding the tray,
22
00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:35,828
and then I fell asleep
listening to you both.
23
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:39,168
Is this a coup or a fucking book club?
24
00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:43,258
The blini must be lighter,
with a hint, a fucking hint,
25
00:01:43,260 --> 00:01:45,338
of rosemary, not a
fucking ballbag of it.
26
00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:47,178
I think it is right.
27
00:01:47,180 --> 00:01:49,098
Strong is good.
28
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,510
Maybe you're right,
Louis. Let me check again.
29
00:01:58,270 --> 00:01:59,900
Turns out, no.
30
00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:05,148
How's this for your speech?
Something like this:
31
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:09,528
"My father, Peter the Great,
was a leader like none before,
32
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who catapulted Russia
to a greatness hitherto
33
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never seen on this Earth.
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Without parallel, a man who bestrode
the lands like a colossus..."
35
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,290
Oh, shut up, Arkady.
36
00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:23,408
You don't like it?
37
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:24,700
I do not remember the new rule
38
00:02:24,702 --> 00:02:26,542
where I justify why
I tell you to shut up.
39
00:02:26,544 --> 00:02:28,214
Do you?
40
00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:37,518
- I hate these fuckers.
- Who?
41
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,898
The generals, your father's buddies.
42
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,648
When we were kids, what assholes.
43
00:02:42,650 --> 00:02:45,778
No. No, marvelous men,
and they must have a great day.
44
00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:47,488
It will be a grand day,
45
00:02:47,490 --> 00:02:49,488
that honors your father
and reflects glory on you.
46
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If we get the fucking
blini right, it will.
47
00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:53,328
Leo Voronsky.
48
00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:55,038
Oh. Forgot all about him.
49
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,998
Emperor, it's an honor.
50
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,460
Of course it is.
51
00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:02,500
Show us your cock.
52
00:03:04,170 --> 00:03:05,550
Of course.
53
00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:14,428
Marvelous.
54
00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:16,718
- George?
- Indeed.
55
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:17,980
Chaps?
56
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:22,058
Hmm. Brilliant.
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00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:23,648
Come.
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00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,280
Mm.
59
00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,778
Why do we not just kill him?
60
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:37,084
Next time he is on you,
stab him in the face.
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00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:40,918
I in the back, Orlo cuts his throat,
and then you are empress,
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00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,628
and I am Lady Marial.
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00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:43,748
The end.
64
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,748
But it... it is not so simple.
65
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,508
We need the church to ratify
her to the whole of Russia
66
00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:51,178
from the pulpit after,
so they must support her.
67
00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:54,008
And if Ivan is alive,
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00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:55,598
we need a sympathetic military,
69
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,768
for if we kill him before
that is all in place,
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00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,478
then the military and
others may get behind Ivan,
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00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,228
and run over Catherine in the process.
72
00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:03,808
No one even knows where Ivan is.
73
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:07,148
- Who is Ivan?
- Ivan is Peter's half-brother,
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00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:09,858
bastard son to Peter the Great.
75
00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:11,660
His supporters tried to take the throne
76
00:04:11,662 --> 00:04:13,658
after Peter first came to power.
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00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:15,578
I will find out where he is.
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00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:17,160
How?
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00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,000
Cleverly.
80
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,418
I suspect we need a year
to get our pamphlets just right.
81
00:04:24,420 --> 00:04:26,378
It's no wonder you never fuck anyone.
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00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,628
You... you cannot speak to me like that.
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Because I am a serf?
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00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:32,050
Because it's rude.
85
00:04:36,470 --> 00:04:38,218
How dare you!
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00:04:38,220 --> 00:04:39,930
You just walk into my chambers, sir.
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00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:42,138
I... I would have ridden,
88
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:45,358
- but my horse has trouble with stairs.
- Empress?
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00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,318
Orlo, what are you doing here?
90
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,358
- Uh...
- He brought me a book.
91
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,948
Uh, I, I thought the empress
would be interested...
92
00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:53,988
- Oh, God, you're dull. Get out.
- Sir.
93
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,040
I have brought you a gift.
I promised you a lover.
94
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,288
A lover?
95
00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:06,208
It is thoughtful of me,
I agree. This is Leo.
96
00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:08,378
His father, Sergei, was
a famous ladies' man.
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00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:10,708
Leo is smart, reads
books, recites sonnets,
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00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,218
can hunt with the best,
enjoys fine wines and offal,
99
00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:15,008
and has a pretty big cock.
100
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:18,808
Added advantage: had mumps as
a child, so is sterile. Huzzah.
101
00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:20,178
I hope you like him.
102
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,138
Make her happy, or else.
103
00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:23,940
Must dash. Big day.
104
00:05:27,650 --> 00:05:29,360
You may go, sir.
105
00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:33,148
You... I'd rather not.
106
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,778
I do not care. I said you may go.
107
00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:38,238
I'd rather stay a while, so
at least he thought it went well,
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if you don't mind.
109
00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:41,948
And if you do, I cordially
invite you to my execution
110
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:44,040
and wish we'd known each other better.
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00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,958
Fine.
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00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,088
Just...
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sit there.
114
00:05:53,630 --> 00:05:55,010
I thank you.
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00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:02,388
We were listening. Is that your lover?
116
00:06:02,390 --> 00:06:05,268
- Apparently.
- Mmm, he is very good-looking.
117
00:06:05,270 --> 00:06:06,978
- I did not notice.
- Hmm.
118
00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:09,688
It is disgusting that he
would just give me a lover,
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like I am an animal to be serviced.
120
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,148
Well, you would be serviced well.
121
00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:15,990
He's a Voronsky, they
are well-known lovers.
122
00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:20,408
- Really?
- Mm. His father was legendary.
123
00:06:20,410 --> 00:06:21,620
Fuck.
124
00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:24,748
The very week we start our adventure,
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Peter gifts you this man.
126
00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:29,168
He is well-known to
insert spies into situations.
127
00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:32,208
I've seen him do it before.
Oh, fuck. Maybe he knows.
128
00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:34,540
And I was there and we had our
pamphlets everywhere. Jesus Christ.
129
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:36,838
- Jesus Christ...
- Orlo, relax.
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00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,088
Peter does not know.
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He could not.
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I will give him back.
133
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How? He's Peter's gift.
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Cleverly.
135
00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:49,501
Empress, you wanted to know
when the dresses
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00:06:49,503 --> 00:06:50,770
for the ladies' tea arrived.
137
00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:54,778
Oh, it's great!
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00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:57,648
That is very nice.
139
00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:59,160
Hmm.
140
00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,200
Oh.
141
00:07:05,870 --> 00:07:08,118
Empress, do you like it?
142
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,668
Mm. It looks marvelous.
143
00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:12,288
You will stand out.
144
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,880
As I always do.
145
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Come on.
146
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,478
It's very big. Did it have to be so big?
147
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,940
Of course. Your father
was an exceptional man.
148
00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:36,438
I remember when I was 17
and he'd look at me at dinner.
149
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,738
It was like the very
air around me thinned,
150
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,738
and I could not breathe.
151
00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:43,828
One day, he just walked into
the room I was in, and...
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00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,488
locked eyes on mine, and I knew.
153
00:07:46,490 --> 00:07:48,958
And I just lifted up my
dress and bent over the table,
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and he came and took me.
155
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My first-ever time.
156
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,958
God.
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00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,050
I'm wet at the thought of it.
158
00:08:01,340 --> 00:08:03,718
You perhaps did not
need to hear that story.
159
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,008
I knew it. I was there.
160
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,518
What?
161
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,728
In the room.
162
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:11,228
- Playing soldiers in the corner.
- Really?
163
00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:13,768
- Mm.
- How strange.
164
00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:15,518
Fucking suit's too tight.
165
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,320
You, too, will grow into a great leader.
166
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,908
He didn't think so.
167
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,408
He challenged you, that is all.
168
00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:26,240
Meet it.
169
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,618
It's too big.
170
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,080
Fucking thing.
171
00:08:39,050 --> 00:08:42,678
Know anything about this lover
the emperor has given Catherine?
172
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:44,678
What? Lover?
173
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,638
That is immoral and disgusting.
174
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Poor child.
175
00:08:49,430 --> 00:08:51,228
So you did not know?
176
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:53,938
It is not a gambit of some sort?
177
00:08:53,940 --> 00:08:56,148
A spy on her?
178
00:08:56,150 --> 00:08:58,190
The Emperor! Empress!
179
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,698
- Thank you for the gift.
- Hmm. Did you try him yet?
180
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,448
It is very kind, but
I do not need a lover.
181
00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:07,528
I have you.
182
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:10,118
Our fucking is as dull as a
beaver chomping at a log.
183
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,908
You need a lover. It will cheer you.
184
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:14,168
Grigor, how happy does it
make me to fuck your wife?
185
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:16,248
It seems to be a constant source of joy.
186
00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:18,130
And that is exactly what I wish for you.
187
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:21,298
Here they come. Shut up.
188
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,928
- Give me some of your medals.
- What?
189
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,718
Give me some of your fucking medals.
190
00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:38,478
Welcome home.
191
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:42,738
The Russian fighting man is
the greatest in the world.
192
00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:45,028
I have created a rosemary blini,
193
00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:46,658
stuffed with chicken hearts,
194
00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:49,488
representing those evil,
blond Swedish fucks.
195
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,538
We will munch on their tasty hearts.
196
00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:53,578
- Huzzah!
- And then,
197
00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:56,878
wash it down with a black,
pepper vodka that my father loved,
198
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,878
as he loved you all.
199
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,260
Huzzah. To Peter the Great.
200
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,050
To me. Peter the...
201
00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:12,518
Me!
202
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,728
Huzzah!
203
00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:18,098
Gentlemen, while the Swedes
tend their wounded for a day or two
204
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,058
before we crush them properly,
205
00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:23,438
we will eat and drink, and
celebrate our greatness.
206
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,360
- Huzzah.
- Huzzah!
207
00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:31,578
- It went well, did you think, Grigor?
- It was a triumph.
208
00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:34,498
If I might brief you on
the military briefing, sir.
209
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,118
I am an instinctive military
genius as my father before me.
210
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,748
I need no briefing.
211
00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:40,248
Yes, indeed.
212
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,248
I have, um... come to
understand that you've
213
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:46,128
gifted a lover to the empress, sir.
214
00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:49,548
I would like to offer my
services in this regard,
215
00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:53,260
if this one does not work out
and a replacement is required.
216
00:10:56,430 --> 00:10:58,228
- Grigor, did you... ?
- I did.
217
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:06,898
- That's rich, Velementov.
- Oh, bravo, sir.
218
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,988
- I, I feel, uh...
- Can you imagine?
219
00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:11,368
This warthog with his tiny cock
220
00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:14,118
that spurts only vodka on top of the...
221
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,338
You have cheered me, no end. Bravo.
222
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:25,418
Indeed. A remarkable jape from me.
223
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,008
Aunt Elizabeth.
224
00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:37,308
Darling Catherine.
225
00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:39,808
- Look at that smile.
- Mm.
226
00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,598
It's a lifesaver, isn't it?
227
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,398
Indeed.
228
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,150
Look at these fish.
229
00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:49,568
I used to watch them,
thinking them quite content.
230
00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:52,910
Now I realize they've gone
completely fucking mad.
231
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:55,830
Who's Ivan?
232
00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:59,080
Who mentioned dear Ivan?
233
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,878
I overheard someone. I don't know who.
234
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,300
I am still new, and I'm
rather slow to learn names.
235
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:11,300
But it did seem a
somewhat thrilling mystery.
236
00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,770
As you were.
237
00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:33,570
I have the only key.
238
00:12:40,870 --> 00:12:43,498
- Ivan!
- Lizzy!
239
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,840
Cake!
240
00:12:46,710 --> 00:12:48,510
Oh!
241
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,050
- This is Catherine.
- The empress.
242
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,680
Lovely to meet you.
243
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,230
Do you like my pictures?
244
00:13:12,570 --> 00:13:14,410
Marvelous.
245
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:23,000
Getting so big.
246
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,168
We must go now.
247
00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:29,170
Is Peter coming to see me?
248
00:13:30,130 --> 00:13:33,798
- He's very busy.
- I won't stab him.
249
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,428
I haven't even hidden a knife anywhere.
250
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:40,968
Of course you haven't.
You're far too sweet.
251
00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:42,310
My mother?
252
00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:44,768
Still abroad.
253
00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:48,308
Catherine, come visit me again.
254
00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:49,768
I will.
255
00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:51,398
Fucking promise it!
256
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,238
Darling! Darling! Rude.
257
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:58,908
Sorry. I just want someone to play with.
258
00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:01,368
Of course you do, darling.
259
00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:03,200
I'll be back later.
260
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:17,298
He is a danger to us.
261
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,718
I suppose we should kill him,
262
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,678
but he is sort of family,
and we are sentimental.
263
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:25,058
But now there is you, and soon an heir.
264
00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:26,388
Thank you for showing me.
265
00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:29,108
Oh, you are my family.
I will show you everything.
266
00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,148
Including how to find happiness here,
267
00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:34,188
and you will bear us an
heir and strengthen our line.
268
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:37,070
But you must also
know where danger lies.
269
00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:40,488
Oh.
270
00:14:40,490 --> 00:14:43,998
If you see who was talking about
him, you point them out to me.
271
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,660
Indeed.
272
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,128
Huzzah!
273
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:52,668
Gentlemen, let us begin.
274
00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:55,508
The Swede... First, a toast.
275
00:14:55,510 --> 00:14:57,338
To our friend and leader,
276
00:14:57,340 --> 00:14:59,508
the emperor's father, Peter the Great.
277
00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:01,220
Huzzah!
278
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,770
I have a new one, in his honor.
279
00:15:06,810 --> 00:15:08,768
Booya! Booya!
280
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:13,438
I also have the Swede's nose
who scratched me, in a bag!
281
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,738
Booya! Booya!
282
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,398
To our brave Russian
fighting men from my battalion,
283
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,448
who have won a battle on the field,
284
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:23,158
opening up a chance of victory!
285
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,408
No, if we...
286
00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:27,908
My battalion, outnumbered two to one,
287
00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:30,708
ran these fuckers into a ravine,
288
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,878
and then we just waited
above them for days,
289
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,418
till the fuckers went
mad and shot themselves.
290
00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:45,560
Can we start?
291
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,730
Indeed.
292
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,728
Focus up. The Swedes are here,
293
00:15:52,730 --> 00:15:54,938
here, and here.
294
00:15:54,940 --> 00:15:57,820
- Now, I suggest...
- Give me that.
295
00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:01,910
When I started this war against
Sweden, it was because...
296
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:06,330
Well, my father beat them, and I...
297
00:16:07,410 --> 00:16:11,368
and the Swedes are fucking
depraved animals, as is well known.
298
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:15,208
Blond, moose buggering, lingonberry
gorging, humorless fucks,
299
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:17,548
with a seaport we would do well to have.
300
00:16:17,550 --> 00:16:21,298
But then, instead of winning,
you allow us to be pushed back,
301
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:23,678
so they are now in Russia itself.
302
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,138
It's a fucking mess, to summarize.
303
00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:28,810
So I have a plan.
304
00:16:31,270 --> 00:16:33,690
I say we...
305
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,278
come from here, through here,
306
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,948
split our forces in four, all at once,
307
00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,028
probably at night,
so they cannot see us.
308
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:44,448
Maybe we have horses,
309
00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:46,778
although they are noisy,
so maybe we just run there.
310
00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:48,848
Then, at dawn, when
they are breakfasting
311
00:16:48,850 --> 00:16:50,408
with cock in one hand
and brioche in other,
312
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,628
we attack and destroy them,
winning the war in one morning.
313
00:16:53,630 --> 00:16:56,040
Huzzah!
314
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,258
It's an interesting idea.
315
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:02,968
It is genius. Pick it apart
if you can, you fat fuck.
316
00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:05,178
Huh. Booya!
317
00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:06,640
Well...
318
00:17:08,430 --> 00:17:11,138
Sir, this is a river, 11 feet deep,
319
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:14,310
which you wish our men to cross.
320
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,480
Boats.
321
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,158
Carry boats?
322
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,368
- Yes.
- May slow us down somewhat, sir,
323
00:17:27,370 --> 00:17:29,738
making us susceptible to attack.
324
00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:33,498
Also, this is an open plain.
325
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,380
It cannot be approached by stealth.
326
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,468
At night, wearing black.
327
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:44,878
Or green, if the grass is tall.
328
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:54,560
The emperor has given
us much food for thought.
329
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,478
I will lay out my plan and incorporate
330
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,530
some of the emperor's fine thoughts.
331
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,738
Huzzah.
332
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,320
Huzzah!
333
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,408
Just sound it out.
334
00:18:14,410 --> 00:18:16,958
Ti... gers?
335
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,328
Tigers...
336
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,958
Yes.
337
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,338
... like to eat... people.
338
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:25,258
Yes!
339
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:26,590
Thank you.
340
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:44,650
You could at least unwrap
him before you send him back.
341
00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:49,778
I have far more important things to do.
342
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:52,290
Being empress is wasted on you.
343
00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:56,460
- I met Ivan.
- Fuck.
344
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,418
- Where?
- In the palace!
345
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,708
Locked away and heavily guarded.
346
00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:04,418
So we need the military.
347
00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:09,508
In fact, why not Velementov himself,
the leader of the military?
348
00:19:09,510 --> 00:19:11,348
He has a shine for me, I believe.
349
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,218
The drooling gives it away, I think.
350
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,390
We must tell Orlo.
He must work on them, too.
351
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,368
Oh. Hello.
352
00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:40,288
What did my husband say to you?
353
00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:42,588
He said I was to make you happy,
354
00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:44,298
said it was important to him.
355
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,378
- And that is all?
- There was more.
356
00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:49,508
He said if you showed any animation
at all while we were doing it...
357
00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:51,428
emit a noise, stir a
limb, puff a breath...
358
00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:53,476
he would give me a thousand rubles,
359
00:19:53,478 --> 00:19:57,268
bronze my manhood and put
it on display in a museum.
360
00:19:57,270 --> 00:19:59,228
And what did you say to that?
361
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:02,518
I said I thought it would just
be nice if Russia had a museum.
362
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:07,568
I see.
363
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:09,398
And why did he choose you?
364
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,948
You are friends, I assume?
365
00:20:10,950 --> 00:20:12,988
I have met him twice, through my father.
366
00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,658
The famous lover.
367
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:16,998
It is to undersell him.
He was a fascinating man,
368
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,408
who loved women, music, wine,
369
00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:23,538
and sitting a field watching
starlings swirl at sunset with his son.
370
00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:26,588
But the ladies' man seems
to be what has stuck.
371
00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:29,258
So, you are a professional lover also.
372
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,338
Do not laugh at me.
373
00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:34,638
I will share the joke and
then we will laugh together.
374
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,371
As I take it you do not desire a lover,
375
00:20:37,373 --> 00:20:39,308
I will let you in on my secret.
376
00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:41,898
I have only had sex once,
377
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,728
with my drunk and very sweet,
378
00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:46,318
very plump cousin who rather
forced herself upon me.
379
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,818
It was not unpleasant, I suppose,
380
00:20:47,820 --> 00:20:50,448
but I really had no
idea what I was doing.
381
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:53,358
- Your father did not educate you?
- Not really.
382
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:56,618
He was a big believer in
discovery, and adventure,
383
00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:58,750
and said he would not
deprive me of either.
384
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,998
Do you aim to charm me?
385
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,038
I would like not
to be killed, of course.
386
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,458
But I cannot guess what will charm you,
387
00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:07,088
as I cannot really
guess what will save me.
388
00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:09,338
One must simply live
and hope it goes well
389
00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:10,630
and is fun while one does it.
390
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,930
Unless I should try to charm you.
391
00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:17,638
Actually, I will try.
392
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,810
It'll be fun, albeit possibly
fatal if it goes awry.
393
00:21:21,730 --> 00:21:25,308
I know, a lover should,
of course, bring a gift.
394
00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:27,268
But you have not.
395
00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:28,940
I have indeed.
396
00:21:32,990 --> 00:21:34,488
You have made an error.
397
00:21:34,490 --> 00:21:37,778
It is not a gift. It is a peach.
398
00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:39,948
When you eat it, you
should put it into your mouth,
399
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:42,408
bite it once, tip your head back,
400
00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:45,460
and let the juice run into your throat.
401
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,668
I know how to eat a peach.
402
00:21:49,670 --> 00:21:51,880
I will never underestimate you again.
403
00:22:05,020 --> 00:22:06,858
Mmm!
404
00:22:06,860 --> 00:22:08,608
Extraordinary!
405
00:22:08,610 --> 00:22:12,028
The juice runs in and
pools at the throat,
406
00:22:12,030 --> 00:22:15,488
and then gushes down, like
a waterfall of sweetness.
407
00:22:25,670 --> 00:22:27,670
You may stay the night.
408
00:22:29,790 --> 00:22:31,798
Sleep on the chaise.
409
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,964
Then in the morning,
I shall go to Peter,
410
00:22:33,966 --> 00:22:35,838
thank him for you,
say you were pleasant.
411
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,138
You shall be safe, and we will be done.
412
00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:39,220
Grand.
413
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,060
Come on!
414
00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:54,688
- So he is gone? The spy?
- Yes, I said I would.
415
00:22:54,690 --> 00:22:58,238
Regardless, we must make some
headway with the military.
416
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:02,198
Not lay it out proper, but
begin preparing the ground.
417
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,998
Finally some action.
418
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,040
Is this the best time? Uh...
419
00:23:06,870 --> 00:23:08,998
In vino veritas, Orlo.
420
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,038
Go forth.
421
00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:26,768
Fuckers.
422
00:23:26,770 --> 00:23:30,898
And who paints a river
green? Hmm? Who does that?
423
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:33,568
Blue, they are fucking
blue, traditionally.
424
00:23:33,570 --> 00:23:36,318
Why don't we play some music?
425
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:37,950
I need a name, too.
426
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:40,370
Peter the...
427
00:23:42,410 --> 00:23:44,948
- What can I be?
- Uh...
428
00:23:44,950 --> 00:23:46,368
Peter the Fun.
429
00:23:46,370 --> 00:23:48,248
Peter the Masterful.
430
00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:51,078
Uh, Peter the Terrible.
431
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,288
I want something inspiring, Arkady.
432
00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:56,008
It is inspiring. It inspires fear.
433
00:23:56,010 --> 00:23:59,798
And has a rich history,
everyone loves the terribles.
434
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,758
Just fuck off, all of you.
435
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,300
I have my speech tomorrow.
436
00:24:27,870 --> 00:24:29,870
Oh. Velementov?
437
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,788
I thought this was the library.
438
00:24:32,790 --> 00:24:35,748
I'm completely lost in this palace.
439
00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:39,418
Empress, it is an honor.
440
00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:42,758
Perhaps it is fate. I have
wanted to talk to you.
441
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,098
And I, you. Good God.
442
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:46,808
You're luminous,
443
00:24:46,810 --> 00:24:50,598
luminous, with luminosity.
444
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,308
Why, thank you.
445
00:24:52,310 --> 00:24:55,898
- You remind me of my father.
- I'm, uh...
446
00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:59,108
I'm younger, I'm sure, and, uh...
447
00:24:59,110 --> 00:25:02,030
and in the prime of manhood.
448
00:25:03,570 --> 00:25:05,700
Uh... drink?
449
00:25:09,540 --> 00:25:12,538
He was a serious military man.
450
00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:16,878
Uh... often frustrated by
the leaders of the country.
451
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,588
Indeed. Then we are alike.
452
00:25:20,590 --> 00:25:24,928
Exactly. A good military man
is happy to spill men's blood
453
00:25:24,930 --> 00:25:27,308
but not waste men's blood.
454
00:25:27,310 --> 00:25:28,968
Have I read you wrong?
455
00:25:28,970 --> 00:25:31,480
You are... vision.
456
00:25:35,310 --> 00:25:37,978
Your skin is...
457
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,910
- Are you weeping?
- A little, yes.
458
00:25:44,740 --> 00:25:47,030
Your beauty hurts.
459
00:25:47,910 --> 00:25:49,868
- Right.
- I...
460
00:25:49,870 --> 00:25:53,458
If we had a philosophy,
a criteria for action,
461
00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:56,128
I just wonder what a
difference that would make.
462
00:25:56,130 --> 00:25:59,248
- Mm.
- I feel a kinship with you.
463
00:25:59,250 --> 00:26:01,378
- I do, too.
- Ooh!
464
00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:04,468
Aah! Get off!
465
00:26:04,470 --> 00:26:08,098
Empress, I will unprise my member.
466
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,268
Oh, God. You will get off me!
467
00:26:19,190 --> 00:26:22,488
What is that... wet?
468
00:26:22,490 --> 00:26:26,278
- I pissed myself.
- Oh! Ugh!
469
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,448
Let me lie here a little
and gather my energies,
470
00:26:29,450 --> 00:26:34,368
before I unleash a storm of passion!
471
00:26:34,370 --> 00:26:36,290
- Fucker!
- Ooh!
472
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,800
Get... them... down!
473
00:27:14,910 --> 00:27:17,748
Anton. How goes it?
474
00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:20,628
- Disastrously.
- How was the briefing?
475
00:27:20,630 --> 00:27:22,498
Interesting, I heard.
476
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,508
- The guy's a fucking idiot.
- Shh.
477
00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:26,420
You are drunk.
478
00:27:29,300 --> 00:27:31,048
Ha-have you met the new empress?
479
00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:33,468
- I heard she's a bitch.
- No, no, no. Not at all.
480
00:27:33,470 --> 00:27:36,348
She is one of a kind.
481
00:27:36,350 --> 00:27:38,190
I, I will make an introduction.
482
00:28:03,170 --> 00:28:07,010
Shall I dress you for
bed or just oil you down?
483
00:28:08,869 --> 00:28:11,498
- How was your evening?
- Avoided rape.
484
00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:13,870
- You?
- Same.
485
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,308
If anyone ever invents
something easier than buttons,
486
00:28:17,310 --> 00:28:19,190
we are all in trouble.
487
00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:25,110
You may go.
488
00:28:44,340 --> 00:28:47,838
But if we put the
pavilion near the river,
489
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,298
we can just laze and watch,
490
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:55,258
and then just fall off it,
naked, into the cool water.
491
00:28:55,260 --> 00:28:56,640
Poetry.
492
00:28:57,470 --> 00:28:59,308
I was going to ask him
493
00:28:59,310 --> 00:29:01,638
to let us go there next
month for a few weeks.
494
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,310
- He will not.
- We can ask.
495
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,650
Of course.
496
00:29:13,620 --> 00:29:14,948
Hey.
497
00:29:14,950 --> 00:29:16,830
You're up. Good.
498
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,290
Uh...
499
00:29:28,170 --> 00:29:31,128
- Are you all right?
- Of course.
500
00:29:31,130 --> 00:29:32,880
Do you need to talk?
501
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,260
I'll just sleep.
502
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,188
Fuckers.
503
00:30:04,540 --> 00:30:07,878
Ah, my dearest Grigor, there you are.
504
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:11,088
We did not wish to wake you.
505
00:30:11,090 --> 00:30:12,880
Kindness itself.
506
00:30:14,340 --> 00:30:16,048
You have a loose hair, actually.
507
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,308
Ow. Brutal.
508
00:30:19,310 --> 00:30:21,178
Apologies, but it is a big day.
509
00:30:21,180 --> 00:30:23,638
Yes it is. I feel good.
510
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,810
You're my dearest friends. Embrace me.
511
00:30:42,370 --> 00:30:45,958
Grigor and I thought
we might go to the country,
512
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,918
to our estate for a month.
513
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,338
- Right.
- We have some building to check on.
514
00:30:50,340 --> 00:30:53,418
And we'd love to bring you back
the first quinces of the season.
515
00:30:53,420 --> 00:30:55,800
- Hmm?
- All right. Sure.
516
00:31:00,140 --> 00:31:02,718
What are you writing?
517
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,690
Nothing. Just... a letter.
518
00:31:06,980 --> 00:31:08,400
You must miss home.
519
00:31:10,610 --> 00:31:13,228
Yes. I do.
520
00:31:13,230 --> 00:31:15,238
Tea, sir.
521
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:16,778
Thank you, Vlad.
522
00:31:16,780 --> 00:31:19,028
Is Vlad short for
Vladimir or long for Vla?
523
00:31:19,030 --> 00:31:21,238
- Oh! Aah!
- Aah-ha.
524
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:22,788
Oh.
525
00:31:22,790 --> 00:31:26,618
- I'm so sorry.
- We cannot blame you for gravity, Vlad.
526
00:31:26,620 --> 00:31:28,708
For... ? Wh-what is... ?
527
00:31:28,710 --> 00:31:31,000
This is gravity, Vlad.
528
00:31:32,590 --> 00:31:34,958
Everything comes down, Vlad.
529
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:36,838
Unseen forces at work.
530
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,468
What about a plate?
531
00:31:39,470 --> 00:31:41,178
Gravity.
532
00:31:41,180 --> 00:31:42,468
Or... a feather?
533
00:31:42,470 --> 00:31:45,138
Oh, well, they fight a good fight.
534
00:31:45,140 --> 00:31:46,678
But alas...
535
00:31:48,770 --> 00:31:50,358
- Vlad?
- Gravity.
536
00:31:51,371 --> 00:31:53,528
Oh.
537
00:31:56,860 --> 00:31:59,700
I shall go to breakfast
and speak to Peter,
538
00:32:00,490 --> 00:32:02,450
and then you may go.
539
00:32:03,330 --> 00:32:07,078
Might I suggest we perform a
small playlet, to aid your game?
540
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:10,418
- A playlet?
- To convince him it went well.
541
00:32:10,420 --> 00:32:12,584
I hate all the pretend at court.
542
00:32:12,586 --> 00:32:14,208
You must treat it as a foolish game.
543
00:32:14,210 --> 00:32:16,708
The viewer is your quarry
and when they're convinced,
544
00:32:16,710 --> 00:32:18,838
you have won and have
made a fool of them.
545
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:20,718
That's a victory for you.
546
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,300
It is... possibly helpful.
547
00:32:24,470 --> 00:32:25,848
Hmm.
548
00:32:37,490 --> 00:32:39,318
A giggle is good.
549
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:40,658
A giggle?
550
00:32:40,660 --> 00:32:42,198
It is light and fun.
551
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,238
I am not six. I do not giggle.
552
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:49,368
I'll do it, then.
553
00:32:49,370 --> 00:32:50,868
That is a preposterous sound.
554
00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:53,670
Leo, sit in the hallway.
I will see you shortly.
555
00:33:02,930 --> 00:33:05,428
So he has made you happy, it seems?
556
00:33:05,430 --> 00:33:07,140
Indeed.
557
00:33:08,730 --> 00:33:10,020
So?
558
00:33:10,890 --> 00:33:11,890
Thank you.
559
00:33:12,940 --> 00:33:14,110
Leo?
560
00:33:16,690 --> 00:33:18,778
You have made the empress happy.
561
00:33:18,780 --> 00:33:20,778
Good job.
562
00:33:20,780 --> 00:33:24,028
That's for fucking my wife.
But well done. Bravo.
563
00:33:25,660 --> 00:33:27,868
It is done, so he may go now.
564
00:33:27,870 --> 00:33:29,748
What?
565
00:33:29,750 --> 00:33:32,248
We spent a pleasant night,
566
00:33:32,250 --> 00:33:35,418
and I thank you profusely for the gift.
567
00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:37,628
So, he may go.
568
00:33:37,630 --> 00:33:40,378
Oh, so he cannot have made you
that happy if you want him to go.
569
00:33:40,380 --> 00:33:42,128
A pleasant night?
570
00:33:42,130 --> 00:33:45,968
What the fuck is a pleasant night?
And now you wish him to go?
571
00:33:45,970 --> 00:33:48,220
That is a fucking failure. Leo!
572
00:33:49,020 --> 00:33:51,638
I am very disappointed in you,
as would your father be.
573
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,978
So sorry, sir.
574
00:33:56,610 --> 00:33:59,108
Stop! I did not know I could keep him.
575
00:33:59,110 --> 00:34:03,608
- What?
- I thought it was a gift, for a night.
576
00:34:03,610 --> 00:34:07,278
I did not realize it could be ongoing.
577
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:11,448
Oh, it is marvelous to keep him.
578
00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:14,748
Huzzah. I thank you, husband.
579
00:34:14,750 --> 00:34:17,748
Right. Okay.
580
00:34:23,050 --> 00:34:25,508
Do it well or I will cut
your perfect cock off,
581
00:34:25,510 --> 00:34:28,390
as it is a useless appendage if
you cannot use it to bring joy.
582
00:34:30,770 --> 00:34:34,058
Zeus! Come on.
583
00:34:38,980 --> 00:34:40,728
- Are you all right?
- Fine.
584
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,990
Oh. Thanks.
585
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,418
God, this is delicious.
586
00:34:59,420 --> 00:35:01,050
So what is the rest of your day?
587
00:35:02,170 --> 00:35:03,968
How can you be so sanguine?
588
00:35:03,970 --> 00:35:06,298
Do you not wish to break his head open?
589
00:35:06,300 --> 00:35:08,848
No, I wish to enjoy my breakfast,
which is what I'm doing.
590
00:35:08,850 --> 00:35:10,308
May I have some coffee, please?
591
00:35:10,310 --> 00:35:12,308
He just beat you.
592
00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:14,350
It was minutes ago.
593
00:35:15,230 --> 00:35:18,398
- You are baffling.
- Thank you for saving me, by the way.
594
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,898
You don't need to do that.
595
00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:21,858
Truth is, he'll do as
he wishes with me...
596
00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:25,488
hang me, flay me, or take me
hunting and for a nice lunch.
597
00:35:25,490 --> 00:35:27,318
One cannot let oneself
live in fear of that.
598
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,158
He can kick me,
599
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,198
but I will not let him rob me
of my enjoyment of this egg,
600
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,700
that coffee, or this day.
601
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,830
I will not let fear
take my life from me.
602
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,378
I understand entirely.
603
00:35:41,380 --> 00:35:43,418
Ladies' tea is about to begin.
604
00:35:43,420 --> 00:35:46,168
You inexplicably wanted to go?
605
00:35:46,170 --> 00:35:49,258
Indeed, I do. And you shall join me.
606
00:35:49,260 --> 00:35:52,010
- Oh, I'd rather not.
- And I'd rather so.
607
00:35:53,770 --> 00:35:55,978
Leo, you should probably come.
608
00:35:55,980 --> 00:35:58,650
Be near, in case he wonders
why you're not with me.
609
00:36:13,030 --> 00:36:14,620
Mm.
610
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,258
Lady Svenska.
611
00:36:31,260 --> 00:36:34,060
- Uh...
- How wonderful you look!
612
00:36:37,890 --> 00:36:39,020
I...
613
00:36:40,940 --> 00:36:43,938
You will see she has a love for Russia
614
00:36:43,940 --> 00:36:46,278
and a fresh mind that inspires.
615
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,108
All right. Antonia!
616
00:36:49,110 --> 00:36:50,658
My darling, what has happened?
617
00:36:50,660 --> 00:36:53,410
That fucking bitch empress has happened.
618
00:36:54,700 --> 00:36:56,488
Rash, my dear.
619
00:36:56,490 --> 00:36:58,870
Exceptional, but rash.
620
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,880
Well, I have never enjoyed
a ladies' tea party more.
621
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,258
Thank you.
622
00:37:20,060 --> 00:37:21,478
We can't talk.
623
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,978
- We can.
- Aah!
624
00:37:24,980 --> 00:37:26,268
It is fine.
625
00:37:26,270 --> 00:37:28,648
Oh, Jesus Christ, I thought
you were getting rid of him!
626
00:37:28,650 --> 00:37:30,318
We cannot trust him.
627
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,568
I tried. Peter will kill him.
628
00:37:32,570 --> 00:37:34,778
And if he is a spy, Peter will kill us.
629
00:37:34,780 --> 00:37:37,408
You would have me let him die?
630
00:37:37,410 --> 00:37:40,078
We are trying to end
meaningless bloodshed in Russia.
631
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,578
If it is him or us, yes.
632
00:37:42,580 --> 00:37:44,378
I mean, that is the
sort of decision-making
633
00:37:44,380 --> 00:37:47,338
you are going to have to make if
we are to do this. Machiavelli.
634
00:37:47,340 --> 00:37:49,628
I told you, I disagree
with that translation.
635
00:37:49,630 --> 00:37:52,008
I don't think he's a spy.
He's too good-looking.
636
00:37:52,010 --> 00:37:54,298
Well, you'll forgive me,
you and your family's political instincts
637
00:37:54,300 --> 00:37:55,678
are not something I am in awe of.
638
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:57,848
Fuck you, you virgin coward prick!
639
00:37:57,850 --> 00:38:01,098
Enough! Marial.
640
00:38:01,100 --> 00:38:04,898
I... Colonel Svenska
could have been an ally,
641
00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:07,688
but now we have lost
him and half the ladies.
642
00:38:07,690 --> 00:38:09,228
- It was worth it.
- I agree.
643
00:38:09,230 --> 00:38:12,108
You know, some attention to thinking
two steps ahead, rather than one,
644
00:38:12,110 --> 00:38:13,818
- would be advantageous.
- I did.
645
00:38:13,820 --> 00:38:16,238
I ascertained a dress
fabric for the event,
646
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:19,908
and had the entire room redone
in that, Orlo. That is two steps.
647
00:38:19,910 --> 00:38:23,248
I do not understand
this recklessness in you.
648
00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:27,130
It is called courage, Orlo.
You will gather it as we go.
649
00:38:30,090 --> 00:38:31,380
Orlo!
650
00:38:40,060 --> 00:38:42,268
How is it?
651
00:38:42,270 --> 00:38:43,850
Being empress?
652
00:38:45,730 --> 00:38:47,650
No one has ever asked me that.
653
00:38:49,570 --> 00:38:51,280
It is...
654
00:38:52,150 --> 00:38:53,610
complex.
655
00:38:56,610 --> 00:38:59,700
- May I speak freely?
- I suppose.
656
00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:04,080
I shall entitle it, "My
Impressions of the Empress".
657
00:39:05,790 --> 00:39:07,540
You do not like Peter.
658
00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:09,790
You do not like it here.
659
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,628
You have a sadness in
you, and worst of all,
660
00:39:13,630 --> 00:39:16,928
you do not seem to know how to have fun.
661
00:39:16,930 --> 00:39:19,260
Fun is not on the table.
662
00:39:20,930 --> 00:39:23,848
He mentioned the country again.
663
00:39:23,850 --> 00:39:25,520
Peter may come for some of it.
664
00:39:26,390 --> 00:39:27,940
Does that mean all of it?
665
00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:32,398
Did you see what
the empress did to Antonia?
666
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:36,198
It is a level of bitch one seldom
encounters, kind of brilliant.
667
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,698
- I thought it was funny.
- Well, I do not.
668
00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:41,778
And feel free to suck your own cock
for the rest of the month, Arkady.
669
00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:44,658
She needs to be taught a lesson.
670
00:39:44,660 --> 00:39:47,918
Perhaps Antonia needs to learn
a lesson. She is not empress.
671
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,038
We had open hearts.
672
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,250
They are shut tight.
She will learn that.
673
00:39:58,260 --> 00:40:00,760
Pretend, pretend, pretend.
674
00:40:11,980 --> 00:40:14,148
You did not need to do that to Leo.
675
00:40:14,150 --> 00:40:17,698
I suppose not. Is he coughing up blood?
676
00:40:17,700 --> 00:40:19,318
- No.
- Then he's fine.
677
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,490
Coughing blood is
generally the problem sign.
678
00:40:24,330 --> 00:40:25,698
Are you all right?
679
00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:27,708
Mm-hmm.
680
00:40:27,710 --> 00:40:29,708
Nervous about making the speech?
681
00:40:29,710 --> 00:40:32,208
No. Yes.
682
00:40:32,210 --> 00:40:33,460
Fuck.
683
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,888
Is he all these things?
684
00:40:42,890 --> 00:40:45,928
Or perhaps not, and that
is why you are nervous.
685
00:40:45,930 --> 00:40:49,268
He was all these things. He was...
686
00:40:49,270 --> 00:40:50,558
extraordinary.
687
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,438
What is the problem then?
688
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,858
When I speak of him, which I do not,
689
00:40:54,860 --> 00:40:58,070
because when I do, tears.
690
00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:01,870
It is unmanly and fucked
in front of these booyas.
691
00:41:02,950 --> 00:41:04,528
You miss him.
692
00:41:07,950 --> 00:41:09,660
Emperor?
693
00:41:17,420 --> 00:41:19,298
There is no shame in that.
694
00:41:19,300 --> 00:41:21,798
- No, it will not look...
- There is a saying.
695
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,888
"What comes from the
heart, goes to the heart".
696
00:41:24,890 --> 00:41:28,850
He was loved, and you
showing that is a fine thing.
697
00:41:30,230 --> 00:41:33,058
- I may not cry.
- Indeed.
698
00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:36,020
For a I am chap with
iron will and control.
699
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:46,658
He was a man of action,
a man of the people,
700
00:41:46,660 --> 00:41:49,698
loved, revered,
701
00:41:49,700 --> 00:41:52,368
victorious in battle.
702
00:41:52,370 --> 00:41:55,500
He once sat and helped me
make a lion from rubles.
703
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,798
- But fierce, he...
- Fucking baby.
704
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,550
I heard that.
705
00:42:03,300 --> 00:42:05,350
Whoever it was, step forward.
706
00:42:06,260 --> 00:42:08,810
Man-to-man, let us fight.
707
00:42:09,850 --> 00:42:12,598
No recriminations, no reprisals.
708
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,438
On my father's honor, two men
709
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,558
and their fists, as he would have it.
710
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,818
It would be an honor.
711
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,578
Strategy. Strategy, you dumb fucks!
712
00:42:33,580 --> 00:42:37,208
Your mindless, booya bravery
will not win it for us.
713
00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:43,928
I am Peter the Great's
son. I know how to win.
714
00:42:43,930 --> 00:42:46,218
We will go with my military
plan. Ford the river,
715
00:42:46,220 --> 00:42:48,390
cut their hearts out at breakfast. Yes?
716
00:42:49,579 --> 00:42:50,599
Yes?
717
00:42:50,601 --> 00:42:53,058
Huzzah.
718
00:42:53,060 --> 00:42:54,348
Now where was I?
719
00:42:56,230 --> 00:43:00,728
My father. I commemorate this
statue in his honor. Huzzah.
720
00:43:00,730 --> 00:43:02,654
Let's make Russia great and victorious
721
00:43:02,656 --> 00:43:04,948
over those evil blond Swedish fucks.
722
00:43:04,950 --> 00:43:06,868
Huzzah!
723
00:43:06,870 --> 00:43:09,870
I believe there is a party. Let's enjoy.
724
00:43:24,010 --> 00:43:26,838
How marvelous it was when
you stabbed holes in that man.
725
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:28,758
You were right for me
to be true to my heart.
726
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,810
There is now love
and fear for me from all.
727
00:43:32,970 --> 00:43:34,768
I was perhaps rough on Leo today.
728
00:43:34,770 --> 00:43:36,558
When you kicked him over and over?
729
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,308
Yes. That is to what I refer.
730
00:43:38,310 --> 00:43:40,688
Well, it just shows how much
you care about my happiness.
731
00:43:40,690 --> 00:43:44,188
Indeed. If you do not want him,
you may choose your own lover.
732
00:43:44,190 --> 00:43:46,948
- Velementov has offered his services.
- Very not funny.
733
00:43:51,030 --> 00:43:52,948
- Imagine it.
- I'd rather not.
734
00:43:54,620 --> 00:43:56,208
Seriously, take a moment.
735
00:43:56,210 --> 00:43:59,248
I imagined him putting it in
your ass as you leant on a desk,
736
00:43:59,250 --> 00:44:02,128
then his weight collapsing the
desk and crushing you under him.
737
00:44:02,130 --> 00:44:04,378
What was yours?
738
00:44:04,380 --> 00:44:07,218
Him pissing on me
as he tried to mount me.
739
00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:10,348
Brilliantly imaginative,
though mine was better.
740
00:44:10,350 --> 00:44:12,468
If you do not want Leo,
choose someone else yourself,
741
00:44:12,470 --> 00:44:14,888
and I will approve or disapprove.
742
00:44:14,890 --> 00:44:18,438
- And Leo?
- Oh. He may go back to his estate.
743
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,018
Oh. So he is free to leave?
744
00:44:20,020 --> 00:44:21,978
- Yes, of course.
- Right.
745
00:44:21,980 --> 00:44:24,608
He can fuck off or stay
at court. I do not care,
746
00:44:24,610 --> 00:44:27,488
as long as you are happy and
not a miserable, scowling cunt.
747
00:44:27,490 --> 00:44:28,664
Which you are not.
748
00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:30,738
That is just a colorful
example of what I do not want.
749
00:44:30,740 --> 00:44:32,408
- Of course.
- I shall tell him.
750
00:44:32,410 --> 00:44:34,448
- No. Let me.
- Mm.
751
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,998
And you are happy and grateful for
my efforts towards your happiness?
752
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,998
All is bliss in the court of Peter.
753
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,718
- It is indeed. Huzzah!
- Huzzah!
754
00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:50,388
I must play. I'm a brilliant violinist.
755
00:44:50,390 --> 00:44:52,300
Give me that. Fuck off.
756
00:45:09,450 --> 00:45:10,908
Bravo!
757
00:45:22,380 --> 00:45:24,038
Bravo!
758
00:45:36,220 --> 00:45:38,310
Peter has not released you.
759
00:45:39,980 --> 00:45:42,898
- I'm sure you tried.
- I did.
760
00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:45,440
So we must continue the charade.
761
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:49,030
Strangely not disappointed.
762
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:55,200
Obviously, we are free to do as
we wish with this arrangement.
763
00:45:57,700 --> 00:46:00,038
For example,
764
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,748
you are free to kiss me back,
765
00:46:02,750 --> 00:46:04,960
but also free not to.
766
00:46:07,050 --> 00:46:08,610
To kiss you back, you would have to...
767
00:46:26,190 --> 00:46:28,188
Oh!
768
00:46:39,950 --> 00:46:41,660
Hmm, hmm.
769
00:46:42,870 --> 00:46:45,170
We need help.
770
00:46:51,340 --> 00:46:53,508
You can probably take it from here?
771
00:46:53,510 --> 00:46:55,180
Thank you, Marial.
772
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,760
What are... What are you...
773
00:47:45,390 --> 00:47:47,020
It's very good.
774
00:47:48,730 --> 00:47:52,028
Uh, the, the bit about being
able to live without pretense
775
00:47:52,030 --> 00:47:54,108
will resonate deep.
776
00:47:54,110 --> 00:47:57,068
Leo stays. He is my lover.
777
00:47:57,070 --> 00:47:59,988
He will never know of our plans though.
778
00:47:59,990 --> 00:48:01,780
I promise you that.
779
00:48:04,290 --> 00:48:05,960
What... What are you doing?
780
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,920
My blood oath.
781
00:48:14,210 --> 00:48:17,088
I mean, you... you like
to live dangerously.
782
00:48:17,090 --> 00:48:19,050
I just like to live.
783
00:48:19,890 --> 00:48:23,178
And I would like everyone
to have that opportunity.
784
00:48:23,180 --> 00:48:25,428
Danger is part of this.
785
00:48:25,430 --> 00:48:27,728
You will have to grasp that.
786
00:48:27,730 --> 00:48:31,018
I have avoided it
assiduously my whole life.
787
00:48:31,020 --> 00:48:32,480
We cannot.
788
00:48:37,110 --> 00:48:39,568
Did your heart not beat like a drum
789
00:48:39,570 --> 00:48:42,080
when you thought you had
landed Colonel Svenska?
790
00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:47,120
Now, you need to cut your hand.
791
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,630
- I really don't want to do that.
- I know.
792
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,418
There will be no need
for clothes this morning.
793
00:48:56,420 --> 00:48:58,590
- Marial?
- Buttons?
794
00:48:59,590 --> 00:49:01,340
Buttons.
53012
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