All language subtitles for The Great (2020) - S01E03 - And You Sir Are No Peter the Great [WEBRip-1080p][EAC3 5.1][HE

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,665 --> 00:00:31,665 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:37,690 --> 00:00:41,188 We will have free bread and medicine for all, 3 00:00:41,190 --> 00:00:43,858 education and art for all. 4 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:47,868 Every Russian heart will be full of joy, 5 00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:51,198 their stomach full of food, 6 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,788 and their mind full of ideas. 7 00:00:54,790 --> 00:00:56,668 This is Russia. 8 00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:58,628 Well, what does that mean? 9 00:00:58,630 --> 00:01:00,760 It needs to be believable. 10 00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,508 We must aim high. 11 00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:05,128 No, he's right. 12 00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:07,048 "No one will rape you or kill your children, 13 00:01:07,050 --> 00:01:09,638 and occasionally there will be some bread" would be enough. 14 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,598 Oh, so far, I've written a 74-page treatise. 15 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,148 I thought perhaps some Montaigne. 16 00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:18,398 I got stuck on Machiavelli. 17 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,298 Read in the French translation, 18 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:23,358 he says the ends justify the means. 19 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:27,158 But in the original Italian, he merely asks. 20 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,698 Oh, sorry! 21 00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:32,448 I was holding... holding the tray, 22 00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:35,828 and then I fell asleep listening to you both. 23 00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:39,168 Is this a coup or a fucking book club? 24 00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:43,258 The blini must be lighter, with a hint, a fucking hint, 25 00:01:43,260 --> 00:01:45,338 of rosemary, not a fucking ballbag of it. 26 00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:47,178 I think it is right. 27 00:01:47,180 --> 00:01:49,098 Strong is good. 28 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,510 Maybe you're right, Louis. Let me check again. 29 00:01:58,270 --> 00:01:59,900 Turns out, no. 30 00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:05,148 How's this for your speech? Something like this: 31 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:09,528 "My father, Peter the Great, was a leader like none before, 32 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:13,158 who catapulted Russia to a greatness hitherto 33 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,698 never seen on this Earth. 34 00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:18,918 Without parallel, a man who bestrode the lands like a colossus..." 35 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,290 Oh, shut up, Arkady. 36 00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:23,408 You don't like it? 37 00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:24,700 I do not remember the new rule 38 00:02:24,702 --> 00:02:26,542 where I justify why I tell you to shut up. 39 00:02:26,544 --> 00:02:28,214 Do you? 40 00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:37,518 - I hate these fuckers. - Who? 41 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,898 The generals, your father's buddies. 42 00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,648 When we were kids, what assholes. 43 00:02:42,650 --> 00:02:45,778 No. No, marvelous men, and they must have a great day. 44 00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:47,488 It will be a grand day, 45 00:02:47,490 --> 00:02:49,488 that honors your father and reflects glory on you. 46 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,448 If we get the fucking blini right, it will. 47 00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:53,328 Leo Voronsky. 48 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:55,038 Oh. Forgot all about him. 49 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:56,998 Emperor, it's an honor. 50 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,460 Of course it is. 51 00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:02,500 Show us your cock. 52 00:03:04,170 --> 00:03:05,550 Of course. 53 00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:14,428 Marvelous. 54 00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:16,718 - George? - Indeed. 55 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:17,980 Chaps? 56 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:22,058 Hmm. Brilliant. 57 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:23,648 Come. 58 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,280 Mm. 59 00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,778 Why do we not just kill him? 60 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:37,084 Next time he is on you, stab him in the face. 61 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:40,918 I in the back, Orlo cuts his throat, and then you are empress, 62 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,628 and I am Lady Marial. 63 00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:43,748 The end. 64 00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,748 But it... it is not so simple. 65 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,508 We need the church to ratify her to the whole of Russia 66 00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:51,178 from the pulpit after, so they must support her. 67 00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:54,008 And if Ivan is alive, 68 00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:55,598 we need a sympathetic military, 69 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,768 for if we kill him before that is all in place, 70 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,478 then the military and others may get behind Ivan, 71 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,228 and run over Catherine in the process. 72 00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:03,808 No one even knows where Ivan is. 73 00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:07,148 - Who is Ivan? - Ivan is Peter's half-brother, 74 00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:09,858 bastard son to Peter the Great. 75 00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:11,660 His supporters tried to take the throne 76 00:04:11,662 --> 00:04:13,658 after Peter first came to power. 77 00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:15,578 I will find out where he is. 78 00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:17,160 How? 79 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,000 Cleverly. 80 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,418 I suspect we need a year to get our pamphlets just right. 81 00:04:24,420 --> 00:04:26,378 It's no wonder you never fuck anyone. 82 00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,628 You... you cannot speak to me like that. 83 00:04:28,630 --> 00:04:30,418 Because I am a serf? 84 00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:32,050 Because it's rude. 85 00:04:36,470 --> 00:04:38,218 How dare you! 86 00:04:38,220 --> 00:04:39,930 You just walk into my chambers, sir. 87 00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:42,138 I... I would have ridden, 88 00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:45,358 - but my horse has trouble with stairs. - Empress? 89 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,318 Orlo, what are you doing here? 90 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,358 - Uh... - He brought me a book. 91 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,948 Uh, I, I thought the empress would be interested... 92 00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:53,988 - Oh, God, you're dull. Get out. - Sir. 93 00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,040 I have brought you a gift. I promised you a lover. 94 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,288 A lover? 95 00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:06,208 It is thoughtful of me, I agree. This is Leo. 96 00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:08,378 His father, Sergei, was a famous ladies' man. 97 00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:10,708 Leo is smart, reads books, recites sonnets, 98 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,218 can hunt with the best, enjoys fine wines and offal, 99 00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:15,008 and has a pretty big cock. 100 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:18,808 Added advantage: had mumps as a child, so is sterile. Huzzah. 101 00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:20,178 I hope you like him. 102 00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,138 Make her happy, or else. 103 00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:23,940 Must dash. Big day. 104 00:05:27,650 --> 00:05:29,360 You may go, sir. 105 00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:33,148 You... I'd rather not. 106 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:34,778 I do not care. I said you may go. 107 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:38,238 I'd rather stay a while, so at least he thought it went well, 108 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,488 if you don't mind. 109 00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:41,948 And if you do, I cordially invite you to my execution 110 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:44,040 and wish we'd known each other better. 111 00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,958 Fine. 112 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,088 Just... 113 00:05:50,090 --> 00:05:51,590 sit there. 114 00:05:53,630 --> 00:05:55,010 I thank you. 115 00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:02,388 We were listening. Is that your lover? 116 00:06:02,390 --> 00:06:05,268 - Apparently. - Mmm, he is very good-looking. 117 00:06:05,270 --> 00:06:06,978 - I did not notice. - Hmm. 118 00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:09,688 It is disgusting that he would just give me a lover, 119 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:11,438 like I am an animal to be serviced. 120 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,148 Well, you would be serviced well. 121 00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:15,990 He's a Voronsky, they are well-known lovers. 122 00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:20,408 - Really? - Mm. His father was legendary. 123 00:06:20,410 --> 00:06:21,620 Fuck. 124 00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:24,748 The very week we start our adventure, 125 00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,788 Peter gifts you this man. 126 00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:29,168 He is well-known to insert spies into situations. 127 00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:32,208 I've seen him do it before. Oh, fuck. Maybe he knows. 128 00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:34,540 And I was there and we had our pamphlets everywhere. Jesus Christ. 129 00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:36,838 - Jesus Christ... - Orlo, relax. 130 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,088 Peter does not know. 131 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:39,508 He could not. 132 00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:40,928 I will give him back. 133 00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:43,260 How? He's Peter's gift. 134 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,770 Cleverly. 135 00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:49,501 Empress, you wanted to know when the dresses 136 00:06:49,503 --> 00:06:50,770 for the ladies' tea arrived. 137 00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:54,778 Oh, it's great! 138 00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:57,648 That is very nice. 139 00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:59,160 Hmm. 140 00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,200 Oh. 141 00:07:05,870 --> 00:07:08,118 Empress, do you like it? 142 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,668 Mm. It looks marvelous. 143 00:07:10,670 --> 00:07:12,288 You will stand out. 144 00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,880 As I always do. 145 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,130 Come on. 146 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,478 It's very big. Did it have to be so big? 147 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,940 Of course. Your father was an exceptional man. 148 00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:36,438 I remember when I was 17 and he'd look at me at dinner. 149 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,738 It was like the very air around me thinned, 150 00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,738 and I could not breathe. 151 00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:43,828 One day, he just walked into the room I was in, and... 152 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:46,488 locked eyes on mine, and I knew. 153 00:07:46,490 --> 00:07:48,958 And I just lifted up my dress and bent over the table, 154 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,040 and he came and took me. 155 00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:55,498 My first-ever time. 156 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,958 God. 157 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,050 I'm wet at the thought of it. 158 00:08:01,340 --> 00:08:03,718 You perhaps did not need to hear that story. 159 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,008 I knew it. I was there. 160 00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,518 What? 161 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,728 In the room. 162 00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:11,228 - Playing soldiers in the corner. - Really? 163 00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:13,768 - Mm. - How strange. 164 00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:15,518 Fucking suit's too tight. 165 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,320 You, too, will grow into a great leader. 166 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,908 He didn't think so. 167 00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,408 He challenged you, that is all. 168 00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:26,240 Meet it. 169 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:31,618 It's too big. 170 00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,080 Fucking thing. 171 00:08:39,050 --> 00:08:42,678 Know anything about this lover the emperor has given Catherine? 172 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:44,678 What? Lover? 173 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,638 That is immoral and disgusting. 174 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,428 Poor child. 175 00:08:49,430 --> 00:08:51,228 So you did not know? 176 00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:53,938 It is not a gambit of some sort? 177 00:08:53,940 --> 00:08:56,148 A spy on her? 178 00:08:56,150 --> 00:08:58,190 The Emperor! Empress! 179 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,698 - Thank you for the gift. - Hmm. Did you try him yet? 180 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,448 It is very kind, but I do not need a lover. 181 00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:07,528 I have you. 182 00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:10,118 Our fucking is as dull as a beaver chomping at a log. 183 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,908 You need a lover. It will cheer you. 184 00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:14,168 Grigor, how happy does it make me to fuck your wife? 185 00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:16,248 It seems to be a constant source of joy. 186 00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:18,130 And that is exactly what I wish for you. 187 00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:21,298 Here they come. Shut up. 188 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,928 - Give me some of your medals. - What? 189 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,718 Give me some of your fucking medals. 190 00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:38,478 Welcome home. 191 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:42,738 The Russian fighting man is the greatest in the world. 192 00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:45,028 I have created a rosemary blini, 193 00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:46,658 stuffed with chicken hearts, 194 00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:49,488 representing those evil, blond Swedish fucks. 195 00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,538 We will munch on their tasty hearts. 196 00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:53,578 - Huzzah! - And then, 197 00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:56,878 wash it down with a black, pepper vodka that my father loved, 198 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,878 as he loved you all. 199 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,260 Huzzah. To Peter the Great. 200 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,050 To me. Peter the... 201 00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:12,518 Me! 202 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,728 Huzzah! 203 00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:18,098 Gentlemen, while the Swedes tend their wounded for a day or two 204 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,058 before we crush them properly, 205 00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:23,438 we will eat and drink, and celebrate our greatness. 206 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,360 - Huzzah. - Huzzah! 207 00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:31,578 - It went well, did you think, Grigor? - It was a triumph. 208 00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:34,498 If I might brief you on the military briefing, sir. 209 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,118 I am an instinctive military genius as my father before me. 210 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,748 I need no briefing. 211 00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:40,248 Yes, indeed. 212 00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,248 I have, um... come to understand that you've 213 00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:46,128 gifted a lover to the empress, sir. 214 00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:49,548 I would like to offer my services in this regard, 215 00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:53,260 if this one does not work out and a replacement is required. 216 00:10:56,430 --> 00:10:58,228 - Grigor, did you... ? - I did. 217 00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:06,898 - That's rich, Velementov. - Oh, bravo, sir. 218 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,988 - I, I feel, uh... - Can you imagine? 219 00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:11,368 This warthog with his tiny cock 220 00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:14,118 that spurts only vodka on top of the... 221 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,338 You have cheered me, no end. Bravo. 222 00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:25,418 Indeed. A remarkable jape from me. 223 00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,008 Aunt Elizabeth. 224 00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:37,308 Darling Catherine. 225 00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:39,808 - Look at that smile. - Mm. 226 00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,598 It's a lifesaver, isn't it? 227 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,398 Indeed. 228 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,150 Look at these fish. 229 00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:49,568 I used to watch them, thinking them quite content. 230 00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:52,910 Now I realize they've gone completely fucking mad. 231 00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:55,830 Who's Ivan? 232 00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:59,080 Who mentioned dear Ivan? 233 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,878 I overheard someone. I don't know who. 234 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,300 I am still new, and I'm rather slow to learn names. 235 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:11,300 But it did seem a somewhat thrilling mystery. 236 00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,770 As you were. 237 00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:33,570 I have the only key. 238 00:12:40,870 --> 00:12:43,498 - Ivan! - Lizzy! 239 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,840 Cake! 240 00:12:46,710 --> 00:12:48,510 Oh! 241 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,050 - This is Catherine. - The empress. 242 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,680 Lovely to meet you. 243 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,230 Do you like my pictures? 244 00:13:12,570 --> 00:13:14,410 Marvelous. 245 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:23,000 Getting so big. 246 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,168 We must go now. 247 00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:29,170 Is Peter coming to see me? 248 00:13:30,130 --> 00:13:33,798 - He's very busy. - I won't stab him. 249 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,428 I haven't even hidden a knife anywhere. 250 00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:40,968 Of course you haven't. You're far too sweet. 251 00:13:40,970 --> 00:13:42,310 My mother? 252 00:13:43,350 --> 00:13:44,768 Still abroad. 253 00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:48,308 Catherine, come visit me again. 254 00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:49,768 I will. 255 00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:51,398 Fucking promise it! 256 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,238 Darling! Darling! Rude. 257 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:58,908 Sorry. I just want someone to play with. 258 00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:01,368 Of course you do, darling. 259 00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:03,200 I'll be back later. 260 00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:17,298 He is a danger to us. 261 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,718 I suppose we should kill him, 262 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,678 but he is sort of family, and we are sentimental. 263 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:25,058 But now there is you, and soon an heir. 264 00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:26,388 Thank you for showing me. 265 00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:29,108 Oh, you are my family. I will show you everything. 266 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,148 Including how to find happiness here, 267 00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:34,188 and you will bear us an heir and strengthen our line. 268 00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:37,070 But you must also know where danger lies. 269 00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:40,488 Oh. 270 00:14:40,490 --> 00:14:43,998 If you see who was talking about him, you point them out to me. 271 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,660 Indeed. 272 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,128 Huzzah! 273 00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:52,668 Gentlemen, let us begin. 274 00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:55,508 The Swede... First, a toast. 275 00:14:55,510 --> 00:14:57,338 To our friend and leader, 276 00:14:57,340 --> 00:14:59,508 the emperor's father, Peter the Great. 277 00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:01,220 Huzzah! 278 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,770 I have a new one, in his honor. 279 00:15:06,810 --> 00:15:08,768 Booya! Booya! 280 00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:13,438 I also have the Swede's nose who scratched me, in a bag! 281 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,738 Booya! Booya! 282 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,398 To our brave Russian fighting men from my battalion, 283 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,448 who have won a battle on the field, 284 00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:23,158 opening up a chance of victory! 285 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,408 No, if we... 286 00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:27,908 My battalion, outnumbered two to one, 287 00:15:27,910 --> 00:15:30,708 ran these fuckers into a ravine, 288 00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,878 and then we just waited above them for days, 289 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,418 till the fuckers went mad and shot themselves. 290 00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:45,560 Can we start? 291 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,730 Indeed. 292 00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,728 Focus up. The Swedes are here, 293 00:15:52,730 --> 00:15:54,938 here, and here. 294 00:15:54,940 --> 00:15:57,820 - Now, I suggest... - Give me that. 295 00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:01,910 When I started this war against Sweden, it was because... 296 00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:06,330 Well, my father beat them, and I... 297 00:16:07,410 --> 00:16:11,368 and the Swedes are fucking depraved animals, as is well known. 298 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:15,208 Blond, moose buggering, lingonberry gorging, humorless fucks, 299 00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:17,548 with a seaport we would do well to have. 300 00:16:17,550 --> 00:16:21,298 But then, instead of winning, you allow us to be pushed back, 301 00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:23,678 so they are now in Russia itself. 302 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,138 It's a fucking mess, to summarize. 303 00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:28,810 So I have a plan. 304 00:16:31,270 --> 00:16:33,690 I say we... 305 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,278 come from here, through here, 306 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,948 split our forces in four, all at once, 307 00:16:40,950 --> 00:16:43,028 probably at night, so they cannot see us. 308 00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:44,448 Maybe we have horses, 309 00:16:44,450 --> 00:16:46,778 although they are noisy, so maybe we just run there. 310 00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:48,848 Then, at dawn, when they are breakfasting 311 00:16:48,850 --> 00:16:50,408 with cock in one hand and brioche in other, 312 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,628 we attack and destroy them, winning the war in one morning. 313 00:16:53,630 --> 00:16:56,040 Huzzah! 314 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,258 It's an interesting idea. 315 00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:02,968 It is genius. Pick it apart if you can, you fat fuck. 316 00:17:02,970 --> 00:17:05,178 Huh. Booya! 317 00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:06,640 Well... 318 00:17:08,430 --> 00:17:11,138 Sir, this is a river, 11 feet deep, 319 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:14,310 which you wish our men to cross. 320 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,480 Boats. 321 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,158 Carry boats? 322 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,368 - Yes. - May slow us down somewhat, sir, 323 00:17:27,370 --> 00:17:29,738 making us susceptible to attack. 324 00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:33,498 Also, this is an open plain. 325 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,380 It cannot be approached by stealth. 326 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,468 At night, wearing black. 327 00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:44,878 Or green, if the grass is tall. 328 00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:54,560 The emperor has given us much food for thought. 329 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,478 I will lay out my plan and incorporate 330 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,530 some of the emperor's fine thoughts. 331 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,738 Huzzah. 332 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,320 Huzzah! 333 00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,408 Just sound it out. 334 00:18:14,410 --> 00:18:16,958 Ti... gers? 335 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,328 Tigers... 336 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,958 Yes. 337 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,338 ... like to eat... people. 338 00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:25,258 Yes! 339 00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:26,590 Thank you. 340 00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:44,650 You could at least unwrap him before you send him back. 341 00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:49,778 I have far more important things to do. 342 00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:52,290 Being empress is wasted on you. 343 00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:56,460 - I met Ivan. - Fuck. 344 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,418 - Where? - In the palace! 345 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,708 Locked away and heavily guarded. 346 00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:04,418 So we need the military. 347 00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:09,508 In fact, why not Velementov himself, the leader of the military? 348 00:19:09,510 --> 00:19:11,348 He has a shine for me, I believe. 349 00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,218 The drooling gives it away, I think. 350 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,390 We must tell Orlo. He must work on them, too. 351 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,368 Oh. Hello. 352 00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:40,288 What did my husband say to you? 353 00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:42,588 He said I was to make you happy, 354 00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:44,298 said it was important to him. 355 00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,378 - And that is all? - There was more. 356 00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:49,508 He said if you showed any animation at all while we were doing it... 357 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:51,428 emit a noise, stir a limb, puff a breath... 358 00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:53,476 he would give me a thousand rubles, 359 00:19:53,478 --> 00:19:57,268 bronze my manhood and put it on display in a museum. 360 00:19:57,270 --> 00:19:59,228 And what did you say to that? 361 00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:02,518 I said I thought it would just be nice if Russia had a museum. 362 00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:07,568 I see. 363 00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:09,398 And why did he choose you? 364 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,948 You are friends, I assume? 365 00:20:10,950 --> 00:20:12,988 I have met him twice, through my father. 366 00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,658 The famous lover. 367 00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:16,998 It is to undersell him. He was a fascinating man, 368 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,408 who loved women, music, wine, 369 00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:23,538 and sitting a field watching starlings swirl at sunset with his son. 370 00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:26,588 But the ladies' man seems to be what has stuck. 371 00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:29,258 So, you are a professional lover also. 372 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,338 Do not laugh at me. 373 00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:34,638 I will share the joke and then we will laugh together. 374 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,371 As I take it you do not desire a lover, 375 00:20:37,373 --> 00:20:39,308 I will let you in on my secret. 376 00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:41,898 I have only had sex once, 377 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,728 with my drunk and very sweet, 378 00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:46,318 very plump cousin who rather forced herself upon me. 379 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,818 It was not unpleasant, I suppose, 380 00:20:47,820 --> 00:20:50,448 but I really had no idea what I was doing. 381 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:53,358 - Your father did not educate you? - Not really. 382 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:56,618 He was a big believer in discovery, and adventure, 383 00:20:56,620 --> 00:20:58,750 and said he would not deprive me of either. 384 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,998 Do you aim to charm me? 385 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,038 I would like not to be killed, of course. 386 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,458 But I cannot guess what will charm you, 387 00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:07,088 as I cannot really guess what will save me. 388 00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:09,338 One must simply live and hope it goes well 389 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:10,630 and is fun while one does it. 390 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:13,930 Unless I should try to charm you. 391 00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:17,638 Actually, I will try. 392 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,810 It'll be fun, albeit possibly fatal if it goes awry. 393 00:21:21,730 --> 00:21:25,308 I know, a lover should, of course, bring a gift. 394 00:21:25,310 --> 00:21:27,268 But you have not. 395 00:21:27,270 --> 00:21:28,940 I have indeed. 396 00:21:32,990 --> 00:21:34,488 You have made an error. 397 00:21:34,490 --> 00:21:37,778 It is not a gift. It is a peach. 398 00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:39,948 When you eat it, you should put it into your mouth, 399 00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:42,408 bite it once, tip your head back, 400 00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:45,460 and let the juice run into your throat. 401 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,668 I know how to eat a peach. 402 00:21:49,670 --> 00:21:51,880 I will never underestimate you again. 403 00:22:05,020 --> 00:22:06,858 Mmm! 404 00:22:06,860 --> 00:22:08,608 Extraordinary! 405 00:22:08,610 --> 00:22:12,028 The juice runs in and pools at the throat, 406 00:22:12,030 --> 00:22:15,488 and then gushes down, like a waterfall of sweetness. 407 00:22:25,670 --> 00:22:27,670 You may stay the night. 408 00:22:29,790 --> 00:22:31,798 Sleep on the chaise. 409 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,964 Then in the morning, I shall go to Peter, 410 00:22:33,966 --> 00:22:35,838 thank him for you, say you were pleasant. 411 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,138 You shall be safe, and we will be done. 412 00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:39,220 Grand. 413 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,060 Come on! 414 00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:54,688 - So he is gone? The spy? - Yes, I said I would. 415 00:22:54,690 --> 00:22:58,238 Regardless, we must make some headway with the military. 416 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:02,198 Not lay it out proper, but begin preparing the ground. 417 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,998 Finally some action. 418 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,040 Is this the best time? Uh... 419 00:23:06,870 --> 00:23:08,998 In vino veritas, Orlo. 420 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,038 Go forth. 421 00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:26,768 Fuckers. 422 00:23:26,770 --> 00:23:30,898 And who paints a river green? Hmm? Who does that? 423 00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:33,568 Blue, they are fucking blue, traditionally. 424 00:23:33,570 --> 00:23:36,318 Why don't we play some music? 425 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:37,950 I need a name, too. 426 00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:40,370 Peter the... 427 00:23:42,410 --> 00:23:44,948 - What can I be? - Uh... 428 00:23:44,950 --> 00:23:46,368 Peter the Fun. 429 00:23:46,370 --> 00:23:48,248 Peter the Masterful. 430 00:23:48,250 --> 00:23:51,078 Uh, Peter the Terrible. 431 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,288 I want something inspiring, Arkady. 432 00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:56,008 It is inspiring. It inspires fear. 433 00:23:56,010 --> 00:23:59,798 And has a rich history, everyone loves the terribles. 434 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,758 Just fuck off, all of you. 435 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,300 I have my speech tomorrow. 436 00:24:27,870 --> 00:24:29,870 Oh. Velementov? 437 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,788 I thought this was the library. 438 00:24:32,790 --> 00:24:35,748 I'm completely lost in this palace. 439 00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:39,418 Empress, it is an honor. 440 00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:42,758 Perhaps it is fate. I have wanted to talk to you. 441 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,098 And I, you. Good God. 442 00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:46,808 You're luminous, 443 00:24:46,810 --> 00:24:50,598 luminous, with luminosity. 444 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,308 Why, thank you. 445 00:24:52,310 --> 00:24:55,898 - You remind me of my father. - I'm, uh... 446 00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:59,108 I'm younger, I'm sure, and, uh... 447 00:24:59,110 --> 00:25:02,030 and in the prime of manhood. 448 00:25:03,570 --> 00:25:05,700 Uh... drink? 449 00:25:09,540 --> 00:25:12,538 He was a serious military man. 450 00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:16,878 Uh... often frustrated by the leaders of the country. 451 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,588 Indeed. Then we are alike. 452 00:25:20,590 --> 00:25:24,928 Exactly. A good military man is happy to spill men's blood 453 00:25:24,930 --> 00:25:27,308 but not waste men's blood. 454 00:25:27,310 --> 00:25:28,968 Have I read you wrong? 455 00:25:28,970 --> 00:25:31,480 You are... vision. 456 00:25:35,310 --> 00:25:37,978 Your skin is... 457 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,910 - Are you weeping? - A little, yes. 458 00:25:44,740 --> 00:25:47,030 Your beauty hurts. 459 00:25:47,910 --> 00:25:49,868 - Right. - I... 460 00:25:49,870 --> 00:25:53,458 If we had a philosophy, a criteria for action, 461 00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:56,128 I just wonder what a difference that would make. 462 00:25:56,130 --> 00:25:59,248 - Mm. - I feel a kinship with you. 463 00:25:59,250 --> 00:26:01,378 - I do, too. - Ooh! 464 00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:04,468 Aah! Get off! 465 00:26:04,470 --> 00:26:08,098 Empress, I will unprise my member. 466 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,268 Oh, God. You will get off me! 467 00:26:19,190 --> 00:26:22,488 What is that... wet? 468 00:26:22,490 --> 00:26:26,278 - I pissed myself. - Oh! Ugh! 469 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,448 Let me lie here a little and gather my energies, 470 00:26:29,450 --> 00:26:34,368 before I unleash a storm of passion! 471 00:26:34,370 --> 00:26:36,290 - Fucker! - Ooh! 472 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,800 Get... them... down! 473 00:27:14,910 --> 00:27:17,748 Anton. How goes it? 474 00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:20,628 - Disastrously. - How was the briefing? 475 00:27:20,630 --> 00:27:22,498 Interesting, I heard. 476 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,508 - The guy's a fucking idiot. - Shh. 477 00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:26,420 You are drunk. 478 00:27:29,300 --> 00:27:31,048 Ha-have you met the new empress? 479 00:27:31,050 --> 00:27:33,468 - I heard she's a bitch. - No, no, no. Not at all. 480 00:27:33,470 --> 00:27:36,348 She is one of a kind. 481 00:27:36,350 --> 00:27:38,190 I, I will make an introduction. 482 00:28:03,170 --> 00:28:07,010 Shall I dress you for bed or just oil you down? 483 00:28:08,869 --> 00:28:11,498 - How was your evening? - Avoided rape. 484 00:28:11,500 --> 00:28:13,870 - You? - Same. 485 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,308 If anyone ever invents something easier than buttons, 486 00:28:17,310 --> 00:28:19,190 we are all in trouble. 487 00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:25,110 You may go. 488 00:28:44,340 --> 00:28:47,838 But if we put the pavilion near the river, 489 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,298 we can just laze and watch, 490 00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:55,258 and then just fall off it, naked, into the cool water. 491 00:28:55,260 --> 00:28:56,640 Poetry. 492 00:28:57,470 --> 00:28:59,308 I was going to ask him 493 00:28:59,310 --> 00:29:01,638 to let us go there next month for a few weeks. 494 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,310 - He will not. - We can ask. 495 00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,650 Of course. 496 00:29:13,620 --> 00:29:14,948 Hey. 497 00:29:14,950 --> 00:29:16,830 You're up. Good. 498 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,290 Uh... 499 00:29:28,170 --> 00:29:31,128 - Are you all right? - Of course. 500 00:29:31,130 --> 00:29:32,880 Do you need to talk? 501 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,260 I'll just sleep. 502 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,188 Fuckers. 503 00:30:04,540 --> 00:30:07,878 Ah, my dearest Grigor, there you are. 504 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:11,088 We did not wish to wake you. 505 00:30:11,090 --> 00:30:12,880 Kindness itself. 506 00:30:14,340 --> 00:30:16,048 You have a loose hair, actually. 507 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,308 Ow. Brutal. 508 00:30:19,310 --> 00:30:21,178 Apologies, but it is a big day. 509 00:30:21,180 --> 00:30:23,638 Yes it is. I feel good. 510 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,810 You're my dearest friends. Embrace me. 511 00:30:42,370 --> 00:30:45,958 Grigor and I thought we might go to the country, 512 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,918 to our estate for a month. 513 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,338 - Right. - We have some building to check on. 514 00:30:50,340 --> 00:30:53,418 And we'd love to bring you back the first quinces of the season. 515 00:30:53,420 --> 00:30:55,800 - Hmm? - All right. Sure. 516 00:31:00,140 --> 00:31:02,718 What are you writing? 517 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,690 Nothing. Just... a letter. 518 00:31:06,980 --> 00:31:08,400 You must miss home. 519 00:31:10,610 --> 00:31:13,228 Yes. I do. 520 00:31:13,230 --> 00:31:15,238 Tea, sir. 521 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:16,778 Thank you, Vlad. 522 00:31:16,780 --> 00:31:19,028 Is Vlad short for Vladimir or long for Vla? 523 00:31:19,030 --> 00:31:21,238 - Oh! Aah! - Aah-ha. 524 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:22,788 Oh. 525 00:31:22,790 --> 00:31:26,618 - I'm so sorry. - We cannot blame you for gravity, Vlad. 526 00:31:26,620 --> 00:31:28,708 For... ? Wh-what is... ? 527 00:31:28,710 --> 00:31:31,000 This is gravity, Vlad. 528 00:31:32,590 --> 00:31:34,958 Everything comes down, Vlad. 529 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:36,838 Unseen forces at work. 530 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,468 What about a plate? 531 00:31:39,470 --> 00:31:41,178 Gravity. 532 00:31:41,180 --> 00:31:42,468 Or... a feather? 533 00:31:42,470 --> 00:31:45,138 Oh, well, they fight a good fight. 534 00:31:45,140 --> 00:31:46,678 But alas... 535 00:31:48,770 --> 00:31:50,358 - Vlad? - Gravity. 536 00:31:51,371 --> 00:31:53,528 Oh. 537 00:31:56,860 --> 00:31:59,700 I shall go to breakfast and speak to Peter, 538 00:32:00,490 --> 00:32:02,450 and then you may go. 539 00:32:03,330 --> 00:32:07,078 Might I suggest we perform a small playlet, to aid your game? 540 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:10,418 - A playlet? - To convince him it went well. 541 00:32:10,420 --> 00:32:12,584 I hate all the pretend at court. 542 00:32:12,586 --> 00:32:14,208 You must treat it as a foolish game. 543 00:32:14,210 --> 00:32:16,708 The viewer is your quarry and when they're convinced, 544 00:32:16,710 --> 00:32:18,838 you have won and have made a fool of them. 545 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:20,718 That's a victory for you. 546 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,300 It is... possibly helpful. 547 00:32:24,470 --> 00:32:25,848 Hmm. 548 00:32:37,490 --> 00:32:39,318 A giggle is good. 549 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:40,658 A giggle? 550 00:32:40,660 --> 00:32:42,198 It is light and fun. 551 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,238 I am not six. I do not giggle. 552 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:49,368 I'll do it, then. 553 00:32:49,370 --> 00:32:50,868 That is a preposterous sound. 554 00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:53,670 Leo, sit in the hallway. I will see you shortly. 555 00:33:02,930 --> 00:33:05,428 So he has made you happy, it seems? 556 00:33:05,430 --> 00:33:07,140 Indeed. 557 00:33:08,730 --> 00:33:10,020 So? 558 00:33:10,890 --> 00:33:11,890 Thank you. 559 00:33:12,940 --> 00:33:14,110 Leo? 560 00:33:16,690 --> 00:33:18,778 You have made the empress happy. 561 00:33:18,780 --> 00:33:20,778 Good job. 562 00:33:20,780 --> 00:33:24,028 That's for fucking my wife. But well done. Bravo. 563 00:33:25,660 --> 00:33:27,868 It is done, so he may go now. 564 00:33:27,870 --> 00:33:29,748 What? 565 00:33:29,750 --> 00:33:32,248 We spent a pleasant night, 566 00:33:32,250 --> 00:33:35,418 and I thank you profusely for the gift. 567 00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:37,628 So, he may go. 568 00:33:37,630 --> 00:33:40,378 Oh, so he cannot have made you that happy if you want him to go. 569 00:33:40,380 --> 00:33:42,128 A pleasant night? 570 00:33:42,130 --> 00:33:45,968 What the fuck is a pleasant night? And now you wish him to go? 571 00:33:45,970 --> 00:33:48,220 That is a fucking failure. Leo! 572 00:33:49,020 --> 00:33:51,638 I am very disappointed in you, as would your father be. 573 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,978 So sorry, sir. 574 00:33:56,610 --> 00:33:59,108 Stop! I did not know I could keep him. 575 00:33:59,110 --> 00:34:03,608 - What? - I thought it was a gift, for a night. 576 00:34:03,610 --> 00:34:07,278 I did not realize it could be ongoing. 577 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:11,448 Oh, it is marvelous to keep him. 578 00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:14,748 Huzzah. I thank you, husband. 579 00:34:14,750 --> 00:34:17,748 Right. Okay. 580 00:34:23,050 --> 00:34:25,508 Do it well or I will cut your perfect cock off, 581 00:34:25,510 --> 00:34:28,390 as it is a useless appendage if you cannot use it to bring joy. 582 00:34:30,770 --> 00:34:34,058 Zeus! Come on. 583 00:34:38,980 --> 00:34:40,728 - Are you all right? - Fine. 584 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,990 Oh. Thanks. 585 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,418 God, this is delicious. 586 00:34:59,420 --> 00:35:01,050 So what is the rest of your day? 587 00:35:02,170 --> 00:35:03,968 How can you be so sanguine? 588 00:35:03,970 --> 00:35:06,298 Do you not wish to break his head open? 589 00:35:06,300 --> 00:35:08,848 No, I wish to enjoy my breakfast, which is what I'm doing. 590 00:35:08,850 --> 00:35:10,308 May I have some coffee, please? 591 00:35:10,310 --> 00:35:12,308 He just beat you. 592 00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:14,350 It was minutes ago. 593 00:35:15,230 --> 00:35:18,398 - You are baffling. - Thank you for saving me, by the way. 594 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,898 You don't need to do that. 595 00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:21,858 Truth is, he'll do as he wishes with me... 596 00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:25,488 hang me, flay me, or take me hunting and for a nice lunch. 597 00:35:25,490 --> 00:35:27,318 One cannot let oneself live in fear of that. 598 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,158 He can kick me, 599 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,198 but I will not let him rob me of my enjoyment of this egg, 600 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,700 that coffee, or this day. 601 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,830 I will not let fear take my life from me. 602 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,378 I understand entirely. 603 00:35:41,380 --> 00:35:43,418 Ladies' tea is about to begin. 604 00:35:43,420 --> 00:35:46,168 You inexplicably wanted to go? 605 00:35:46,170 --> 00:35:49,258 Indeed, I do. And you shall join me. 606 00:35:49,260 --> 00:35:52,010 - Oh, I'd rather not. - And I'd rather so. 607 00:35:53,770 --> 00:35:55,978 Leo, you should probably come. 608 00:35:55,980 --> 00:35:58,650 Be near, in case he wonders why you're not with me. 609 00:36:13,030 --> 00:36:14,620 Mm. 610 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,258 Lady Svenska. 611 00:36:31,260 --> 00:36:34,060 - Uh... - How wonderful you look! 612 00:36:37,890 --> 00:36:39,020 I... 613 00:36:40,940 --> 00:36:43,938 You will see she has a love for Russia 614 00:36:43,940 --> 00:36:46,278 and a fresh mind that inspires. 615 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,108 All right. Antonia! 616 00:36:49,110 --> 00:36:50,658 My darling, what has happened? 617 00:36:50,660 --> 00:36:53,410 That fucking bitch empress has happened. 618 00:36:54,700 --> 00:36:56,488 Rash, my dear. 619 00:36:56,490 --> 00:36:58,870 Exceptional, but rash. 620 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,880 Well, I have never enjoyed a ladies' tea party more. 621 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,258 Thank you. 622 00:37:20,060 --> 00:37:21,478 We can't talk. 623 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,978 - We can. - Aah! 624 00:37:24,980 --> 00:37:26,268 It is fine. 625 00:37:26,270 --> 00:37:28,648 Oh, Jesus Christ, I thought you were getting rid of him! 626 00:37:28,650 --> 00:37:30,318 We cannot trust him. 627 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,568 I tried. Peter will kill him. 628 00:37:32,570 --> 00:37:34,778 And if he is a spy, Peter will kill us. 629 00:37:34,780 --> 00:37:37,408 You would have me let him die? 630 00:37:37,410 --> 00:37:40,078 We are trying to end meaningless bloodshed in Russia. 631 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,578 If it is him or us, yes. 632 00:37:42,580 --> 00:37:44,378 I mean, that is the sort of decision-making 633 00:37:44,380 --> 00:37:47,338 you are going to have to make if we are to do this. Machiavelli. 634 00:37:47,340 --> 00:37:49,628 I told you, I disagree with that translation. 635 00:37:49,630 --> 00:37:52,008 I don't think he's a spy. He's too good-looking. 636 00:37:52,010 --> 00:37:54,298 Well, you'll forgive me, you and your family's political instincts 637 00:37:54,300 --> 00:37:55,678 are not something I am in awe of. 638 00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:57,848 Fuck you, you virgin coward prick! 639 00:37:57,850 --> 00:38:01,098 Enough! Marial. 640 00:38:01,100 --> 00:38:04,898 I... Colonel Svenska could have been an ally, 641 00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:07,688 but now we have lost him and half the ladies. 642 00:38:07,690 --> 00:38:09,228 - It was worth it. - I agree. 643 00:38:09,230 --> 00:38:12,108 You know, some attention to thinking two steps ahead, rather than one, 644 00:38:12,110 --> 00:38:13,818 - would be advantageous. - I did. 645 00:38:13,820 --> 00:38:16,238 I ascertained a dress fabric for the event, 646 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:19,908 and had the entire room redone in that, Orlo. That is two steps. 647 00:38:19,910 --> 00:38:23,248 I do not understand this recklessness in you. 648 00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:27,130 It is called courage, Orlo. You will gather it as we go. 649 00:38:30,090 --> 00:38:31,380 Orlo! 650 00:38:40,060 --> 00:38:42,268 How is it? 651 00:38:42,270 --> 00:38:43,850 Being empress? 652 00:38:45,730 --> 00:38:47,650 No one has ever asked me that. 653 00:38:49,570 --> 00:38:51,280 It is... 654 00:38:52,150 --> 00:38:53,610 complex. 655 00:38:56,610 --> 00:38:59,700 - May I speak freely? - I suppose. 656 00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:04,080 I shall entitle it, "My Impressions of the Empress". 657 00:39:05,790 --> 00:39:07,540 You do not like Peter. 658 00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:09,790 You do not like it here. 659 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,628 You have a sadness in you, and worst of all, 660 00:39:13,630 --> 00:39:16,928 you do not seem to know how to have fun. 661 00:39:16,930 --> 00:39:19,260 Fun is not on the table. 662 00:39:20,930 --> 00:39:23,848 He mentioned the country again. 663 00:39:23,850 --> 00:39:25,520 Peter may come for some of it. 664 00:39:26,390 --> 00:39:27,940 Does that mean all of it? 665 00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:32,398 Did you see what the empress did to Antonia? 666 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:36,198 It is a level of bitch one seldom encounters, kind of brilliant. 667 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,698 - I thought it was funny. - Well, I do not. 668 00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:41,778 And feel free to suck your own cock for the rest of the month, Arkady. 669 00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:44,658 She needs to be taught a lesson. 670 00:39:44,660 --> 00:39:47,918 Perhaps Antonia needs to learn a lesson. She is not empress. 671 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,038 We had open hearts. 672 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,250 They are shut tight. She will learn that. 673 00:39:58,260 --> 00:40:00,760 Pretend, pretend, pretend. 674 00:40:11,980 --> 00:40:14,148 You did not need to do that to Leo. 675 00:40:14,150 --> 00:40:17,698 I suppose not. Is he coughing up blood? 676 00:40:17,700 --> 00:40:19,318 - No. - Then he's fine. 677 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,490 Coughing blood is generally the problem sign. 678 00:40:24,330 --> 00:40:25,698 Are you all right? 679 00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:27,708 Mm-hmm. 680 00:40:27,710 --> 00:40:29,708 Nervous about making the speech? 681 00:40:29,710 --> 00:40:32,208 No. Yes. 682 00:40:32,210 --> 00:40:33,460 Fuck. 683 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,888 Is he all these things? 684 00:40:42,890 --> 00:40:45,928 Or perhaps not, and that is why you are nervous. 685 00:40:45,930 --> 00:40:49,268 He was all these things. He was... 686 00:40:49,270 --> 00:40:50,558 extraordinary. 687 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,438 What is the problem then? 688 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,858 When I speak of him, which I do not, 689 00:40:54,860 --> 00:40:58,070 because when I do, tears. 690 00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:01,870 It is unmanly and fucked in front of these booyas. 691 00:41:02,950 --> 00:41:04,528 You miss him. 692 00:41:07,950 --> 00:41:09,660 Emperor? 693 00:41:17,420 --> 00:41:19,298 There is no shame in that. 694 00:41:19,300 --> 00:41:21,798 - No, it will not look... - There is a saying. 695 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,888 "What comes from the heart, goes to the heart". 696 00:41:24,890 --> 00:41:28,850 He was loved, and you showing that is a fine thing. 697 00:41:30,230 --> 00:41:33,058 - I may not cry. - Indeed. 698 00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:36,020 For a I am chap with iron will and control. 699 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:46,658 He was a man of action, a man of the people, 700 00:41:46,660 --> 00:41:49,698 loved, revered, 701 00:41:49,700 --> 00:41:52,368 victorious in battle. 702 00:41:52,370 --> 00:41:55,500 He once sat and helped me make a lion from rubles. 703 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,798 - But fierce, he... - Fucking baby. 704 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,550 I heard that. 705 00:42:03,300 --> 00:42:05,350 Whoever it was, step forward. 706 00:42:06,260 --> 00:42:08,810 Man-to-man, let us fight. 707 00:42:09,850 --> 00:42:12,598 No recriminations, no reprisals. 708 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,438 On my father's honor, two men 709 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,558 and their fists, as he would have it. 710 00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,818 It would be an honor. 711 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,578 Strategy. Strategy, you dumb fucks! 712 00:42:33,580 --> 00:42:37,208 Your mindless, booya bravery will not win it for us. 713 00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:43,928 I am Peter the Great's son. I know how to win. 714 00:42:43,930 --> 00:42:46,218 We will go with my military plan. Ford the river, 715 00:42:46,220 --> 00:42:48,390 cut their hearts out at breakfast. Yes? 716 00:42:49,579 --> 00:42:50,599 Yes? 717 00:42:50,601 --> 00:42:53,058 Huzzah. 718 00:42:53,060 --> 00:42:54,348 Now where was I? 719 00:42:56,230 --> 00:43:00,728 My father. I commemorate this statue in his honor. Huzzah. 720 00:43:00,730 --> 00:43:02,654 Let's make Russia great and victorious 721 00:43:02,656 --> 00:43:04,948 over those evil blond Swedish fucks. 722 00:43:04,950 --> 00:43:06,868 Huzzah! 723 00:43:06,870 --> 00:43:09,870 I believe there is a party. Let's enjoy. 724 00:43:24,010 --> 00:43:26,838 How marvelous it was when you stabbed holes in that man. 725 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:28,758 You were right for me to be true to my heart. 726 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,810 There is now love and fear for me from all. 727 00:43:32,970 --> 00:43:34,768 I was perhaps rough on Leo today. 728 00:43:34,770 --> 00:43:36,558 When you kicked him over and over? 729 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,308 Yes. That is to what I refer. 730 00:43:38,310 --> 00:43:40,688 Well, it just shows how much you care about my happiness. 731 00:43:40,690 --> 00:43:44,188 Indeed. If you do not want him, you may choose your own lover. 732 00:43:44,190 --> 00:43:46,948 - Velementov has offered his services. - Very not funny. 733 00:43:51,030 --> 00:43:52,948 - Imagine it. - I'd rather not. 734 00:43:54,620 --> 00:43:56,208 Seriously, take a moment. 735 00:43:56,210 --> 00:43:59,248 I imagined him putting it in your ass as you leant on a desk, 736 00:43:59,250 --> 00:44:02,128 then his weight collapsing the desk and crushing you under him. 737 00:44:02,130 --> 00:44:04,378 What was yours? 738 00:44:04,380 --> 00:44:07,218 Him pissing on me as he tried to mount me. 739 00:44:07,220 --> 00:44:10,348 Brilliantly imaginative, though mine was better. 740 00:44:10,350 --> 00:44:12,468 If you do not want Leo, choose someone else yourself, 741 00:44:12,470 --> 00:44:14,888 and I will approve or disapprove. 742 00:44:14,890 --> 00:44:18,438 - And Leo? - Oh. He may go back to his estate. 743 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,018 Oh. So he is free to leave? 744 00:44:20,020 --> 00:44:21,978 - Yes, of course. - Right. 745 00:44:21,980 --> 00:44:24,608 He can fuck off or stay at court. I do not care, 746 00:44:24,610 --> 00:44:27,488 as long as you are happy and not a miserable, scowling cunt. 747 00:44:27,490 --> 00:44:28,664 Which you are not. 748 00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:30,738 That is just a colorful example of what I do not want. 749 00:44:30,740 --> 00:44:32,408 - Of course. - I shall tell him. 750 00:44:32,410 --> 00:44:34,448 - No. Let me. - Mm. 751 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,998 And you are happy and grateful for my efforts towards your happiness? 752 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:44,998 All is bliss in the court of Peter. 753 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,718 - It is indeed. Huzzah! - Huzzah! 754 00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:50,388 I must play. I'm a brilliant violinist. 755 00:44:50,390 --> 00:44:52,300 Give me that. Fuck off. 756 00:45:09,450 --> 00:45:10,908 Bravo! 757 00:45:22,380 --> 00:45:24,038 Bravo! 758 00:45:36,220 --> 00:45:38,310 Peter has not released you. 759 00:45:39,980 --> 00:45:42,898 - I'm sure you tried. - I did. 760 00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:45,440 So we must continue the charade. 761 00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:49,030 Strangely not disappointed. 762 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:55,200 Obviously, we are free to do as we wish with this arrangement. 763 00:45:57,700 --> 00:46:00,038 For example, 764 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,748 you are free to kiss me back, 765 00:46:02,750 --> 00:46:04,960 but also free not to. 766 00:46:07,050 --> 00:46:08,610 To kiss you back, you would have to... 767 00:46:26,190 --> 00:46:28,188 Oh! 768 00:46:39,950 --> 00:46:41,660 Hmm, hmm. 769 00:46:42,870 --> 00:46:45,170 We need help. 770 00:46:51,340 --> 00:46:53,508 You can probably take it from here? 771 00:46:53,510 --> 00:46:55,180 Thank you, Marial. 772 00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,760 What are... What are you... 773 00:47:45,390 --> 00:47:47,020 It's very good. 774 00:47:48,730 --> 00:47:52,028 Uh, the, the bit about being able to live without pretense 775 00:47:52,030 --> 00:47:54,108 will resonate deep. 776 00:47:54,110 --> 00:47:57,068 Leo stays. He is my lover. 777 00:47:57,070 --> 00:47:59,988 He will never know of our plans though. 778 00:47:59,990 --> 00:48:01,780 I promise you that. 779 00:48:04,290 --> 00:48:05,960 What... What are you doing? 780 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,920 My blood oath. 781 00:48:14,210 --> 00:48:17,088 I mean, you... you like to live dangerously. 782 00:48:17,090 --> 00:48:19,050 I just like to live. 783 00:48:19,890 --> 00:48:23,178 And I would like everyone to have that opportunity. 784 00:48:23,180 --> 00:48:25,428 Danger is part of this. 785 00:48:25,430 --> 00:48:27,728 You will have to grasp that. 786 00:48:27,730 --> 00:48:31,018 I have avoided it assiduously my whole life. 787 00:48:31,020 --> 00:48:32,480 We cannot. 788 00:48:37,110 --> 00:48:39,568 Did your heart not beat like a drum 789 00:48:39,570 --> 00:48:42,080 when you thought you had landed Colonel Svenska? 790 00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:47,120 Now, you need to cut your hand. 791 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,630 - I really don't want to do that. - I know. 792 00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,418 There will be no need for clothes this morning. 793 00:48:56,420 --> 00:48:58,590 - Marial? - Buttons? 794 00:48:59,590 --> 00:49:01,340 Buttons. 53012

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