Original subtitles

[ Star Wars theme playing]

[narrator reading on-screen text]

We-sa in trouble!

Big trouble!

[blubbering]

It's an Imperial attack!

I can't figure out why our sign

didn't throw them off.

[Wedge] Evacuate to the backup base on Kashyyyk.

The Wookiees will protect us!

[Yoda] Terrible this is.

-Dark times we are in. -Yes.

Allowing Vader to get away with the Holocrons was calamitous.

Lucky we are that our old friend answered our call for help.

-[Qui-Gon Jinn] I certainly did! -Hmm?

Qui-Gon Jinn here, ready to pitch in.

Oh, yes, of course.

That was you we were calling.

[whispers] That wasn't him we were calling.

Know that I do.

When I heard your call,

I came right away to help my friends.

It means so much that you...

Master Yoda, this is Jek.

I'm on my way to assist Luke Skywalker.

-I should be there-- -Yes, yes, you thank.

Ahem. Go gotta.

So you didn't call for me?

Well, of course we did. We need you, too.

For something only you can do.

Hmm, yes.

Help we need, eh, opening this pickle jar.

You remembered how good I am at opening things.

Let me at it.

I have a very particular set of skills.

What is thy bidding, my master?

He's tied up right now.

It's important.

Everybody says that.

-But it's very import-- -[grunts]

-B-- -[grunts]

-Ah-- -[grunts]

Oh, hang on.

[recorded Imperial theme playing]

[automated voice] Please continue to hold.

Your call is very important to us.

Please continue to hold.

Your call is very important to us.

[slurping]

Please continue...

OK, what is it this time?

My Lord, Naboo has been routed.

Which rebel-loving planet shall we attack next?

Yes, it's a place you know well.

And according to my spy,

Luke Skywalker is there right now.

Tatooine.

Tatooine?

That would lead me back h-h-home.

W-why did you say it like that?

One of my chest buttons got stuck.

[warped] It h-happens from time to ti-ti-ti-ti--

[4-LOM] So you helped destroy the Death Star?

Well, I don't like to brag.

-Tell me more. -[beeps]

If you'd really like to know, I did play a major role.

It was I who relayed Master Luke's request to Artoo

-to turn off the trash compactor. -[beeps]

Not now, Artoo, can't you see I'm in a meeting?

And at the medal ceremony, Master Luke nodded at me.

[beeping]

Oh, Artoo, this had better be good.

Or not good!

[playing "Cantina Theme"]

[chattering]

[Leia sighs]

Wedge and the others barely got out of Naboo alive.

Oh, as long as the Emperor has the Holocrons,

he and Vader will hound us to the ends of the Galaxy.

No place will be safe.

-Exactly. -[Chewbacca roars]

That's why we have to attack the Emperor

on Coruscant to take the Holocrons back.

[music and chatter stop]

Kid, you've been sleeping with that flashlight thing

of yours too close to your brain.

That's a crazy idea.

You just said it yourself.

No place will be safe as long

as the Emperor has the Holocrons.

There's no other choice.

We have to get them back, and now.

It's too dangerous.

I say we hide out here

and hope the Empire doesn't find us.

[crashing]

[Luke] Uh, I think they found us.

Master Luke, the city is under attack.

Hey, we don't allow droids in here.

[blaster fires]

No blasters either.

[all] Lighten up a little.

Sorry. Go ahead.

Master Yoda, I've arrived on Tatooine.

I only hope I'm not too...

You hope you're not too what?

Why do I always feel like a duck in a shooting gallery?

[grunts]

[grunts] We have to get to the base on Kashyyyk.

We'll take the Falcon. This way.

[Luke] Ah! An All-Terrain Armoured Transport.

You're trapped, Skywalker.

Your only move now is to surrender.

Or run.

Turn this thing around.

Yes, my Lord, at once.

Forward, hard right, back.

Hard left, forward, hard right.

[Vader] Sometime this year would be nice.

[Han] In here.

[gasps]

Eh, sorry, wrong bay.

[all grunting]

[Luke] My ship is in this one.

Luke Skywalker.

-[gasps] -[all yelling]

You guys are pretty popular today.

Luke Skywalker, I was sent here

by Obi-Wan Kenobi to help you.

Why should we follow you?

Who are you anyway?

[Jabba the Hutt grunts]

He's my new best friend, that's who he is.

Come with me if you want to live.

If? Of course we want to live.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

You know, you really should be nicer to people who are saving you.

Argh.

[Vader] I really, totally, most definitely,

and without a doubt have you--

Super Droids to the rescue!

[all cheering]

Oh, come on.

Not that rust bucket again.

Not to worry. I'll turn us around again.

Forward, hard right, back,

hard left, forward, hard right.

I've had enough of this.

Great going, Threepio.

Why, thank you, sir.

It was quite courageous of me if I do say so my--

You'll never escape.

Ah! I need somewhere to hide.

-Artoo, I'm coming in. -[beeping]

I'll make us invisible. Watch this.

Come on. Why won't you work?

I think this ship is contagious.

Here comes trouble.

This usually works.

[roars]

Huh?

[grunts]

OK, now that's cheating.

Works every time.

[both sigh]

Getting too super-old for this I am.

Yes.

-That was nearly a tragedy. -[pickle jar opens]

Oh. I'll say.

This jar almost didn't open,

but I got it.

Oh, yes.

Great is your skill, my friend.

So awkward this is.

[Vader] ...then the Sith Clone

made the ship invisible,

and they all got away.

Lord Vader, you have failed me for the second,

or was it the third time?

Well, no biggie, you've got a few more times

before I really get mad.

Anyway, the Rebels won't escape us for long.

Not as long as I've got my magic cubes.

There must be some Rebel-loving planet we haven't attacked yet.

Nope, did it, did it, crushed it.

Did it, did it, crushed it.

Did it, did it. Hey, this one stars "old you."

-Huh? -Boring.

Yes.

Who would want to see who they once were in a former life?

Ah, here we are.

Let's go to the movies.

[Vader] Where are the Senators?

Gone. Kicked 'em all out.

[whistling]

-[Emperor] Hey, you. -Yes?

Senator Yaun of Bureaucratosis.

I thought I told you to vamoose.

Blah, blah, blah?

Yes, "blah, blah, blah." Out.

-[Yuan screams] -Gonzo.

Now, let's see what we've got.

That's not very nice.

The Wookiees betrayed me.

And after I excused them

from the "must wear pants" rule.

Prepare to attack Wookiee World.

Its name is Kashyyyk, my Lord.

It's in the Mytaranor Sector of the Mid Rim.

Wow.

You're a real Star Wars nerd, aren't you?

It's just a matter of time before the Empire finds us and attacks.

Our only choice is to launch a raid on Coruscant

and get the Holocrons back. But how?

If I may make a suggestion...

Let me guess. A trap?

No. I was going to say a ruse.

When can you launch your raid?

As soon as the ships are repaired.

Chewie, you were supposed to weld

the green power couplings, not the red ones.

[roars]

You are not color blind. Stop being stubborn.

-Now I have to start all over. -Let me help.

Thanks, but we don't need your--

Uh? Oh.

Mr. Crazy Crystal,

I think you and I are gonna be good friends.

[young Obi-Wan] No, Anakin, that way is forbidden.

[Anakin] Rules are made to be broken, Master.

Ha, ha, ha, Anakin, why do I get the feeling

you'll be the death of me? Ha.

You know, when you say that, it really burns me up.

When you guys joke around like this

it makes me want to get tossed out

a high window with my arm cut off.

-[laughter] -[groans]

Make it stop.

[beeps, clangs]

Prepare the fleet for attack.

We believe the Emperor keeps

the Holocrons in one of two places,

his office in the Senate Building,

or the old Holocron Vault in the Jedi Temple.

That's great, but none of us have ever been there.

We'll be flying blind.

The droids and I were there long ago.

Yes, but as much as I would love to participate

in this supremely dangerous mission,

sadly my memory has been wiped, so I wouldn't be any help.

Darn the luck.

Fortunately, I have a complete set of plans.

[groans]

[beeps]

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

-Oops. -Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi...

Wrong disc. Hang on.

Ever wonder why we don't have digital downloads yet?

-They're coming. -Digital downloads?

No, the Empire.

Vader is on the attack. I feel it.

No time to wait. We have to launch now.

[Luke] To Coruscant.

To Kashyyyk.

[man] They're in.

Oh, I can't bear to watch.

But if Artoo should suffer damage

in the attack, I will gladly donate

any of my circuits or gears to save him.

None of your parts fit him and you know it.

Eh, well, yes, but surely it's the thought that counts.

And if they did fit him, I'd be deviled--

-[powers down] -That's enough, would have suf--

For the Republic!

[all screaming]

Huh?

Where is everybody?

[Vader, over speaker] Your puny Rebellion is about to be...

Where is everybody?

Artoo and I know the Holocron Vault.

We'll go there.

Han and I will take the Emperor's office.

-You guys know what to do. -[roars]

Wedge, you and your team stand by.

Roger that, Luke.

-Here we go. -[Artoo beeps]

[Royal Guard] Halt in the name of the Emperor.

[all screaming]

I'm liking this guy more and more.

[Vader] Hello? Anybody here?

[whimpers]

Rebels...

[warped] Come out and play.

[clears throat]

So...

-Rebels? -[hologram beeping]

[Vader grunts]

Get back here. We're under attack.

-By whom? -Ewoks.

Who do you think? The Rebels.

And all my stormtroopers are with you. Get back here now!

Yes, my Lord.

Let's go. Move, move.

-[stormtrooper grunts] -What a klutz.

[grunts]

Nobody saw that.

Red Leader, this is Gold Leader.

Ready to act on your orders.

Copy that, Gold Leader.

Gold Leader, this is Blue Leader.

Blue Leader, this is Green Leader.

Red, Gold, Blue and Green Leaders,

this is "Kind Of A Brownish Purple Leader."

That's enough, Leaders! Focus on the mission.

I forgot.

What are we waiting for again?

That. Fire!

Oh, I don't think so.

[whistles]

[whimpering beep]

Hmm, the Holocrons aren't here.

[screams and grunts]

This place is huge.

How are we gonna find the Emperor's office?

Uh, I'm guessing it's that one.

[Emperor] Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.

His door is probably locked.

Who said anything about a door?

[guards scream]

I have got to get stronger windows.

[grunts]

All right, Emperor Palpatine, give us back our Holocrons.

OK, OK, I surrender.

You're not the Emperor.

[both groaning]

I'm the Emperor.

You're not too smart, are you, Skywalker?

-Uh. Hey. -You must be this

"Han Solo" I've been hearing about.

Now who's not smart?

[both grunting]

Think you can take me on, boy?

Obviously.

Now this is dog fighting.

Kind of Brownish Purple Leader down!

Get off me, you stupid droid.

[beeping]

[powering down]

Those Holocrons have many uses.

-Let's go. -[beeps]

You are a weak pathetic farm boy.

Oh, yeah? Well, your teeth are yellow.

[stutters] Words can hurt, you know.

[grunts loudly]

Whoa.

[grunts]

-[grunts] -[Luke screaming]

[Emperor] You'll never capture me.

[camera flashes]

[Jawas] Utinni.

[all grunting] Utinni.

[laughing]

[groans]

[guns cocking]

Wookiees. Why did it have to be Wookiees?

[Wookiees roar]

[Luke grunting]

You're surrounded, Your Excellency.

Hand over the Holocrons.

Never.

Take one more step and I'll destroy them.

Go ahead, destroy them.

What?

-What? -[all roar]

[all] What?

[chomping] What?

The Holocrons are worth more to you than they are to us.

Destroy them, I dare you.

Oh... I'll do it.

Here I go. Zappity zappity.

-Go ahead. -Never!

Then I guess we'll have to do it.

-Jek? -Gladly.

No!

I hope this never happens to me again.

-All right. -Yeah.

-Way to go. -[Wookiees roaring]

Now let's get out of here.

[moans and groans]

That was odd.

I must have missed all the action.

[Emperor] You think so? Up here.

Get me down.

Oh. Oh, my.

Yes, you should be ashamed.

It's not that.

I-I can see your underpants.

What? J-Just get me down.

A bold move by Luke that was.

And risky.

I can't believe the Holocrons have gone.

What do we do now?

How will Luke become a Jedi?

I know. Luke is smart.

He sacrificed the Holocrons

so they couldn't be used for evil ever again.

-You will train him. -Yoda. Of course.

That's brilliant.

I'm not sure if the time is right, though.

He's a little immature.

[grunts]

Yes, a boy he still is.

Not Luke, you.

Next time, tell the truth, and open your own pickle jars.

[grunts]

[disco music playing]

♪ It's time to boogie ♪

♪ Let's groove, yeah ♪

♪ It's time to boogie ♪

[Han] What's up?

Luke, I've seen some great Jedi in my day.

And you've got something special.

Thanks. [sighs]

I know I did the right thing,

but I still wish I could've gotten my hands on

-just one of those Holocrons. -[Wookiees roar]

That can be arranged.

[beeps]

Oh, man.

I can finally see a great Jedi in action.

Whoever that is, he's amazing.

Someday, I hope I turn out just like him.

[theme music playing]