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Good morning, Pentagram City.
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This is Katie Killjoy.
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And I'm Tom Trench.
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Bringing you the latest
in Hell's hottest news.
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Tonight's top story:
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What the fuck is going on
at the Hazbin Hotel?
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That's right, Katie.
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It's been a while since
Heaven attacked Hell
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and Charlie Morningstar
and the Hazbin Hotel
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brutally slaughtered the invading angels
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and kinda-sorta saved us
from the extermination.
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When you're done sucking toes, Tom,
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I'd like to remind you that Heaven
still hasn't made their next move.
14
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Are they coming back for revenge,
15
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or is this yearly nightmare finally over?
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Morningstar has declined
to come on the show to comment.
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Pussy.
18
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,233
But we will keep asking
until we break her.
19
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Because the world needs to know, Tom.
20
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,279
Will she stop at angels?
21
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Are you next?
22
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Is your dog or cat next?
23
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Will her bloodlust ever be satisfied?
24
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Who's at the top
of Charlie Morning star's hit list?
25
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Maybe it's me!
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This segment brought to you by...
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Voxtek.
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"Trust us with your everything."
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This'll be great.
I'm looking forward to getting in here
30
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and fucking up some angels.
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I love murder.
32
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I can't wait to kill some angels.
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I lost my fucking room key.
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Hello and welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.
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My name's, uh, changing.
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For now, call me Vaggie.
Have a lovely day,
37
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here's your key,
thank you so much for staying with us.
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Thanks for signing the guest book.
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This is like being in the army.
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I know you're here, Alastor,
could you help out, please?
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00:01:57,408 --> 00:02:00,871
Mm, this seems like a you problem, Vagene.
42
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Here you go.
43
00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:03,791
And you. Really?
44
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,752
What happened to
the whole "host of the hotel" thing?
45
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,880
Where's Charlie?
Where is Charlie Morningstar?
46
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:13,300
Is it true she drinks angel blood
to improve her "gay powers"?
47
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Is she off killing more angels?
The public has a right to know.
48
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:19,098
Is it true this hotel
is recruiting a hellish army?
49
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And should I divorce my wife?
50
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,769
Um, no. What?
51
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I have three Torment and Tonics,
52
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:26,814
four Virgin Sacrifice Piña Coladas,
53
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and something called a Harder Daddy?
54
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,193
Oh, that one's for me.
55
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My favorite drink and life motto.
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Whoo!
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That's a hard daddy.
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Angel, how about you
help me serve these drinks
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instead of letting your pig
gobble my nuts.
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Husk, don't say it like that.
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He's little.
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Besides, I am working.
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I'm celebrity endorsing the hotel.
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Who wants to come stay
at the Hazbin Hotel with me?
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I love come.
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00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,770
-I-I've seen all his movies.
-Take it off.
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I've jerked off to all his movies.
68
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Cherri, how about you?
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You're part of the hotel now, right?
Why don't you help out?
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Whoa there, pussycat.
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I'm hanging at the hotel.
I'm not staying at the hotel.
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Big difference.
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-I ain't booked a room or nothing.
-Sure.
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Anyway, get your pig off my bar.
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Has anyone seen Charlie?
76
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,378
There are reporters here
asking some fucked-up questions.
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I think I saw her in the lounge.
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00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,133
She's been keeping
Pentious's little egg company.
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-Thanks.
-Uh, when you see her,
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00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:41,430
can you ask her if she's still up
for the therapy session today?
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I'm kinda getting into talking
about feelings and junk.
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And here's when Pentious
cried after he was caught spying.
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And here's when Pentious cried
when you forgave him.
84
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,905
And here's when Pentious cried
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when he first lost to Cherri Bomb.
86
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,953
And here's when Pentious cried
after telling me
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00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:07,790
I'm the most handsome egg boy
he's ever seen.
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I made that one up.
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He truly was the best of us.
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Or at least the most snake.
91
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This is Pentious's death ray.
He'd want you to have it.
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He invented the best things.
93
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Even though a lot were scary weapons
that hurt people.
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But we were working on that.
95
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:32,648
Charlie, there you are.
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Did you maybe want to come down
and say hi to the new guests?
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We could really use your help.
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There are reporters here and...
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Are you okay?
100
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Uh-huh. Everything is great.
101
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Great, great.
Why wouldn't everything be great?
102
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We beat Adam, and the hotel's packed,
103
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even though lots of people died,
104
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,499
but-but it is so great.
105
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Babe, I feel like you're still processing
what happened.
106
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If you want, I can handle
the hotel duties,
107
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talk to those reporters?
108
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Wha...? Pfft, it's fine.
109
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I'm perfectly calm.
110
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Calm and fine. Fine and calm.
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Let's talk to those reporters.
112
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I bet they want to know all about
how redemption works,
113
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just like everyone else
who's staying here, right?
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Right. Yeah.
115
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Tom, you and your tiny dick
are pissing me off.
116
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See, I have five...
count it, five minutes a day...
117
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to enjoy my smoke break,
and you're Tomming up my space.
118
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Ah, there she is, my top reporter.
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Vox... hello.
120
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Wha-What-what brings you here, boss?
121
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Oh, nothing much.
122
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You care to tell me
what the fuck this this?
123
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Oh, tha... Well, we-we just wanted
to give it a flashy title.
124
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can read, Katie.
125
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But why is it so positive?
126
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This is the news, honey.
127
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If we aren't scaring people
with the title alone,
128
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it's not worth running.
129
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I'm, I'm so sorry, sir.
130
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Y-You can...
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punish me if you want to.
132
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Ew. No.
133
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:04,031
Besides, I think I have a better angle
for this Hazbin Hotel.
134
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,033
I think its popularity is useful.
135
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:09,119
We just have to find the right spin.
136
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:13,415
Oh, I love it when you spin things,
you sexy TV man.
137
00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:14,625
Keep up the questions.
138
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,086
"Is it dangerous?"
"What's the Morning stars' next move?"
139
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:19,755
And be ready for some...
140
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breaking news tonight.
141
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,968
Oh, I'll be ready for you, Vox.
142
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Yes, sir. We sure will.
143
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,138
Shut up, Tom!
144
00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:38,398
-Harder Daddy?
-Why'd he do it?
145
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:41,944
Why'd he just go and kill himself
to save me?
146
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:45,155
We were rivals. Like, all I'd ever done
was fuck with him.
147
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But he liked me?
148
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,951
-Why?!
-I mean, what's not to like?
149
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:51,912
You're kind of cool, kind of hot.
150
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:55,707
-He probably liked your big bombs.
-Fuck off.
151
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,752
I just wish I could see him again.
152
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,672
To punch him in the face
for dying and shit.
153
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,094
Sweet baby demon spawn.
154
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,721
There are a lot of sinners here.
155
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,223
Oh, there she is.
Hey, Charlie! Question over here.
156
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,058
Come here. Look at me.
Look at me. Charlie!
157
00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:14,601
Charlie, are we at war with Heaven?
158
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,353
Charlie, how many angels
did you kill personally?
159
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,479
Do they scream?
160
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:19,857
Hey, Charlie, how do angels scream
when they die?
161
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,360
Is it like...
162
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And should I kill my wife?
163
00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:27,614
Vaggie, can you come, uh...?
164
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,242
Okay, people, back it up, back it up.
165
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,661
Ahem.
166
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:35,330
Oh. Hello there.
167
00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,498
I'm Charlie.
168
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,167
Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.
169
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,877
And what is your name?
170
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,296
My name is Baxter.
171
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:45,299
Ooh. Baxter. That's a fun name.
172
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,050
Are you checking in with us?
173
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,802
I intend to, yes.
174
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:49,970
Oh, that's great.
175
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:53,265
Aw.
And look at your little lab coat.
176
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,433
It's very cute.
177
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:56,810
Are you an inventor?
178
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,729
Don't belittle me, woman.
179
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,732
I am not an inventor, I am a scientist.
180
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,317
There's a difference.
181
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,861
Some could classify me as a...
182
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,906
mad... scientist.
183
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,408
Pentious was an inventor.
184
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,535
That's so cool.
185
00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:15,370
I bet you're just like him.
186
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:17,539
If you're referring to that pompous snake,
187
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:19,666
I'd like it known I am nothing like him.
188
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,586
Hey, everyone, meet Pentious.
189
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,380
-Baxter.
-Right. Baxter.
190
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,466
And you're here to be redeemed, Pen-xter.
191
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:28,675
Baxter. Sorry, sorry.
192
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,345
Pentious-bster. Baxter.
Uh, sorry, Bax-Baxter.
193
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,889
-Baxter. Baxter. I got it.
-I am here to study
194
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,933
this fascinating concept of redemption.
195
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:40,187
My hypothesis is that it's impossible.
196
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:44,942
Okay, well...
197
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,904
♪ Come on in, here's your key ♪
198
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:52,532
♪ Let me take your bag, wait till ya see ♪
199
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:53,992
♪ The hotel ♪
200
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,619
♪ 'Cause it's great ♪
201
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:59,581
♪ If you parked your car, we'll validate ♪
202
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:02,376
♪ All our guests are family ♪
203
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,835
-Hey.
-Perv!
204
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:05,754
Hands off the chest fluff.
205
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:09,549
♪ That's the Hazbin guarantee ♪
206
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,468
♪ And did I mention it's free? ♪
207
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,928
-It's worth the price.
-Al, be nice.
208
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,721
-Full of drunks.
-Full o' cunts.
209
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,974
Full of sticky floors covered in junk.
210
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,476
-Uh, don't mind them.
-No one does.
211
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,353
-Or that hole.
-Ugh. Cherri. -What?
212
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,481
♪ You've made a great choice
to save your soul ♪
213
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,191
♪ 'Cause redemption is possible ♪
214
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,277
♪ I really, really hope ♪
215
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,280
♪ 'cause if it isn't then my whole life's
been a fucking joke ♪
216
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:34,199
♪ And my friend died for no reason
and I'm never gonna cope ♪
217
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:36,202
♪ from watching him get fucking murdered
right in front of me last month ♪
218
00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:37,286
What?
219
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:38,745
-♪ There's a bar ♪
-What the shit?
220
00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,122
-♪ Have a beer ♪
-I don't drink.
221
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:43,792
♪ I just know you're gonna love it here ♪
222
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:47,546
♪ We can live in harmony ♪
223
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,923
No, I can't make a fucking mai tai.
224
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:54,344
♪ That's the Hazbin guarantee ♪
225
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,179
♪ Now repeat after me ♪
226
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,723
♪ I'm checking in ♪
227
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,266
I'm checking in.
228
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,976
♪ I'm seeking guidance ♪
229
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,394
-I'm seeking guidance.
-Come on, everybody.
230
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:05,355
-♪ For my reckoning ♪
-For my reckoning.
231
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:08,525
-♪ I'll never turn to violence ♪
-I'll never turn to violence.
232
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,152
♪ I'm checking in ♪
233
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,945
I'm checking in.
234
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:13,739
♪ I'm seeking guidance ♪
235
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,783
-That place sucked ass.
-Psst. Hey, you.
236
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,036
-Who? Me?
-That's right, baby.
237
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,787
♪ Redemption got you snoring? ♪
238
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,456
♪ That scene was fucking boring ♪
239
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,500
♪ Have you considered a vocation
that is more rewarding? ♪
240
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:28,295
♪ Because I sense
a drop of star potential ♪
241
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:31,757
♪ With a little boost,
that drip could turn torrential ♪
242
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,383
♪ Come on down to V-Tower ♪
243
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,843
♪ Where we help talent flower ♪
244
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:38,138
♪ No telling how hot you could get
once you're backed by our power ♪
245
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,099
♪ Let's start with a killer fit,
let's get filler in those lips ♪
246
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:42,726
♪ Wax that gooch and pull that strip ♪
247
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,603
♪ Snip, snip, snip ♪
248
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,188
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
249
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:49,649
♪ All of Hell's gonna want you ♪
250
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,276
♪ In this game, no one outdoes us ♪
251
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,028
♪ No one can out-buzz us ♪
252
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:56,031
♪ All you got to do is trust us ♪
253
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,450
♪ Just us, trust us ♪
254
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,370
-♪ Take all these starring roles ♪
-♪ We trademarked all your holes ♪
255
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:04,164
♪ There's no such thing
as being totally overexposed ♪
256
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:07,584
♪ Except now they're sick of you
'cause they've seen way too much ♪
257
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,629
♪ But we'll still get the clicks
from souls who hate you ♪
258
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,172
♪ Scratch that,
they changed the channel ♪
259
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,882
♪ And we can't sell the scandal ♪
260
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,884
♪ Hope you had fun,
but we are done with you ♪
261
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:16,968
♪ Your run is canceled ♪
262
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,470
♪ We're finished, I'm not kidding ♪
263
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,305
♪ Get the fuck out of my building ♪
264
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:23,683
-♪ Get the fuck out of my building! ♪
-♪ Snip, snip, snip, bitch ♪
265
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,143
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
266
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:28,230
♪ But if you know someone new ♪
267
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,148
♪ Tell 'em that no one outdoes us ♪
268
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:31,983
♪ No one can out-buzz us ♪
269
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,151
♪ All they got to do is ♪
270
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,820
-♪ Come on in ♪
-♪ Come on down to V-Tower ♪
271
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:35,987
♪ Here's your key ♪
272
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:40,242
♪ And see how great
your afterlife could be ♪
273
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:44,246
♪ We can live in harmony ♪
274
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,206
♪ Why be nice when you can be famous? ♪
275
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:49,418
♪ That's the Hazbin ♪
276
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,920
♪ Sign and cash in ♪
277
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,131
♪ guarantee ♪
278
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,257
♪ Yeah right, bitch ♪
279
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:58,510
♪ Trust me, just me ♪
280
00:11:58,593 --> 00:11:59,636
♪ Trust ♪♪
281
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,139
Us. No, I meant to say "us."
282
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,099
-Uh-huh.
-Yeah, okay.
283
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,769
Ms. Morningstar,
Ms. Morningstar, over here.
284
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,230
When will you launch your next attack
on the angels?
285
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,648
What do dead angels smell like?
286
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,734
Are all the sinners here
part of your anti-angel army?
287
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,361
I killed my wife.
288
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,738
What? N-No. No.
They're here to be redeemed.
289
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,574
D-Didn't you hear the song?
290
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,659
Are any of you here for redemption?
291
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,579
I thought this hotel was where
we came to kill angels.
292
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,999
Yeah, who cares about redemption?
293
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,375
That sounds like work.
294
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,170
No. I-I know angels aren't, like,
295
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,715
the best, but we shouldn't kill them.
296
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,676
We need to be better than them, right?
297
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,720
Oh, my God!
298
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:44,973
Look, it's Niffty, the Adam Slayer.
299
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,058
Stab. Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab.
300
00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:48,059
Niffty, can I get your autograph?
301
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,145
Niffty, will you stab me?
302
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,481
Someone get a picture of her stabbing me.
303
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:54,608
Yes.
304
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,944
No, no. Niffty was acting in self-defense,
305
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,571
we shouldn't celebrate what she had to do.
306
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:02,157
Niffty! Niffty! Niffty!
307
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,826
I like being touched.
308
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:07,996
No, stop touching her!
They brought the fight to us.
309
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,956
We had to defend ourselves.
310
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,083
I never wanted to... I wouldn't...
311
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:13,752
-That's not what...
-Kill angels! Kill angels!
312
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,837
Kill angels! Kill angels! Kill angels!
313
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:18,423
Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab.
314
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:20,342
Kill angels! Kill angels! Kill angels!
315
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,718
Kill angels! Kill angels!
316
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,303
Charlie,
317
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,680
is this now officially
the Angel Killer Hotel?
318
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:28,099
Charlie, have all your staff
killed angels?
319
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,976
Charlie, do you have to be a cannibal
320
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,312
to sign up for
the Angel Killing Army Hotel?
321
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,606
And I regret killing my wife.
322
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,192
W-We, uh, we accept cannibals.
323
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,694
-I, um...
-Charlie, are you okay?
324
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:42,989
Uh, yeah, I'm... I'm fine, uh, I-I just...
325
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:46,409
Aw, man, Charlie ain't looking
too good under pressure.
326
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,453
Alastor, shouldn't you help her?
327
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,664
Should I? Perhaps.
328
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,040
Will I? No.
329
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:55,085
Do I enjoy being difficult?
330
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,504
Most definitely.
331
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,214
I, um...
332
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,882
Poof! Here I am. Did I do that right?
333
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,008
There we...
334
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:06,221
Hey, don't worry, Charlie,
someone important is here to help.
335
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,349
Oh, shit! What's that?!
336
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,393
Huh? Where'd they go?
337
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,602
They were just here.
338
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,486
It's a fucking duck!
He tricked us!
339
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,275
Who's the best and biggest
demon shark in the world?
340
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,443
You are. You are.
341
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,028
You're my little shock.wav.
342
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,989
This better be important, Vox.
343
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,782
I was in a marketing meeting
344
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,535
about which trends are worth killing over.
345
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,912
Oh, yeah, he likes to talk.
346
00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:34,124
But you don't have to listen,
you can just focus on me, baby.
347
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,585
I said to come alone, Val.
348
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:37,794
Din-dins, sharky!
349
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,840
Hey, I was using that.
350
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,300
I summoned you both here
351
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:47,304
because we need to discuss
some of your recent public... displays.
352
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,974
Velvette, you can't just fuck
with Carmilla Carmine
353
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:54,519
in front of other overlords,
it makes business harder.
354
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:57,230
Well, hey, you're lucky
I didn't skin the bitch.
355
00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,440
She was boring.
356
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:02,611
And Valentino, you cannot keep
hitting Angel Dust in public.
357
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,029
It's...
358
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:06,031
No, it's... It's not.
It's not funny anymore.
359
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,907
When have I ever hit him?
360
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,455
You're obsessed with me.
361
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:16,333
Our brand is perfection, remember?
362
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:20,503
We cannot let ourselves look weak
to other overlords, or to sinners.
363
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,298
We are above petty bullshit.
364
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:27,677
Well, maybe people
should start sucking less.
365
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,512
Or more.
366
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,182
Moving on. Now, as we all know,
367
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:35,685
Charlie Morningstar recently proved
that angels can be killed.
368
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:38,271
And not just angels,
the big motherfuckers.
369
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:39,981
The big boys.
370
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:43,151
Now, obviously, she's gonna plead innocent
371
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:46,321
and play the "No, we should all
get along and be friends",
372
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,782
"and jerk each other off" card.
373
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,116
But I think we can spin that.
374
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,494
I think we can use the hotel's reputation
375
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,496
and Hell's renewed hope
376
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,624
and start a Hell-wide uprising
against Heaven.
377
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,709
With us at the top, huh?
378
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,379
Uh, I know you won't believe this,
379
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,005
but I don't understand.
380
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,300
Okay, from the top.
381
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:11,137
And I'll try to go slow.
382
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:17,018
Wow.
Thanks for the escape, Dad.
383
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:19,270
Ugh, I don't know what's wrong with me.
384
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:22,691
Well, you know, your friend
and your old hotel both kind of died,
385
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,694
so I think you're allowed
to be a little off, sweetheart.
386
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,904
Yeah, but i-if I don't
snap out of it soon,
387
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,449
people will get the wrong idea of me
and the hotel and then...
388
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:36,579
Dad, how do you deal with all the...
389
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,499
stress of being in charge of things?
390
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,418
I don't know.
391
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,337
I-I just manage, somehow.
392
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,548
Mom would know what to do.
393
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,216
She was always so good at this.
394
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,719
Staying calm,
being the voice of the people.
395
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,138
Being the-the center of attention
396
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:56,933
with everyone looking to her,
to follow her.
397
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:01,020
Ignoring meaningless things. And people.
398
00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:05,442
Yep. She was, uh, so good at that.
399
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,151
Do you miss her?
400
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,486
Oh, yeah.
401
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,614
Every second of every day.
402
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,117
For the past...
what is it, almost eight years?
403
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,078
I miss her, too.
404
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,540
But...
405
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:22,000
She'd be proud of me, you think?
406
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,334
Oh, honey.
407
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:26,295
She'd be so proud of you.
408
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,673
Are you kid... At least, I'd hope so.
409
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,675
Hey, hey. Just take a deep breath, okay?
410
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,554
The show must go on, Charlie.
411
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,683
And you were born for this spotlight.
412
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,435
Yeah...
413
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,105
Okay. Thanks, Dad.
414
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,107
For being here.
415
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,862
Come on, Mom, pick up.
416
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:51,988
Pick up.
417
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,324
The account holder
on this line is unavailable.
418
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,950
Or they're avoiding you.
419
00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:57,076
Leave a message.
420
00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,872
Hey, Mom, it's me. Again.
421
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,041
Again. Uh...
422
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:08,004
I'm... I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm so overwhelmed right now.
423
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,632
Look, the hotel is full, which is great,
424
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,342
but the sinners are here
for the wrong reasons.
425
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,386
They want to kill angels, which is
the opposite of what I stand for,
426
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,264
a-and I know you wanted demons
to be empowered,
427
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:18,348
but this is...
428
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:22,185
This is the wrong way,
and I'd love some...
429
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:26,439
advice, maybe, if you have time, um...
430
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,067
Yeah. Anyway...
431
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:32,403
Uh, me and Dad
are talking again.
432
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,739
He's not so bad, and he...
433
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,324
He misses you.
434
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:39,410
So... just give me a call back.
435
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:42,247
I really need you.
436
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,584
Uh, I love you. Bye.
437
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,922
Ooh.
438
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,632
That's an icon.
439
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:56,970
Hey, did you hear I killed my wife?
Yeah, it's front page news.
440
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,471
Crazy, a reporter being in...
441
00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,849
What about Vagamalala for a new name?
442
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,059
-Sounds offensive.
-Maybe Vagelia?
443
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,770
Why are you changing your name again?
444
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,021
What's wrong with Vaggie?
445
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:09,315
Because Adam gave me that name,
and it's demeaning.
446
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,985
I feel like I got to give myself one,
you know?
447
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,403
How about Vagison?
448
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,155
Maybe you should lose the "vag" part
in these names?
449
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,365
I'm trying, okay?
450
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:20,618
Everybody, listen up!
451
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:25,039
Reporters, sinners, friends.
I have an announcement to make.
452
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:26,958
-Charlie! Charlie! Over here!
-She's back! She's back!
453
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,335
This is the Hazbin Hotel.
454
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:32,046
We do not kill angels here.
455
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:36,551
So, everyone who isn't here
to be redeemed...
456
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:37,635
please leave now.
457
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:38,803
Is that it?
458
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,930
Pretty much, yes. Yes, that is it.
459
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:44,809
You have all gotten the wrong idea.
The Hazbin Hotel is a place of peace.
460
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,103
But I believe in every sinner.
461
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,231
You all can change and be redeemed
462
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,650
and earn your way to a better life.
463
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:55,862
So, if you believe in our dream,
464
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:59,282
then you are welcome to stay.
465
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,492
Absolutely not.
466
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:04,120
Well, back to wherever reporters go.
467
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,331
None of these people paid their tab.
468
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:09,250
For what it's worth, babe,
that was a good speech.
469
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,002
They'll understand eventually.
470
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,630
Thank you.
471
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:17,800
I suspect this endeavor will end
in spectacular failure.
472
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:22,055
Which will make
a thrilling research essay.
473
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:26,309
Uh, well, it's only a worthy experiment
if you actually try.
474
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,436
Welcome to the hotel, Baxter.
475
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,396
So is he, like, the new Pentious?
476
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,315
No!
477
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,193
And when this baby reaches the top, bam!
478
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,614
And that's how we'd rule Heaven.
479
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:40,698
Any questions?
480
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:43,451
Okay, but, like, I don't get it.
481
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,787
Why do we even need to rule Heaven?
482
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,830
How would we, like, get up there?
483
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,624
Semantics, Val.
484
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,125
Let me tell you a story.
485
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,461
Back on Earth, when I was alive,
486
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:56,547
I was the leader
of a very influential group.
487
00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:58,925
-You mean the cult?
-You could call it a cult.
488
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:00,843
But I'd say it was more of a movement.
489
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,054
And I was the center of it,
490
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:05,932
and I swear I'd never felt closer
to being a god.
491
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:09,394
That's a feeling
that I'd give anything to get back.
492
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:13,523
And a feeling that I'd love
to share with both of you.
493
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:17,235
We have the chance
to be more than overlords.
494
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:21,155
We have the chance to be gods.
495
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:24,534
It's not what Heaven is...
496
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,911
♪ It's what it could be ♪
497
00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:29,872
♪ With new management in charge ♪
498
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:33,418
♪ Like you, and you and me ♪
499
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:38,089
♪ Once we get up there ♪
500
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:41,426
♪ and snag that angelic throne ♪
501
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:46,431
♪ our unholy trinity could make
their realm our own ♪
502
00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:51,644
♪ We'll pack up all their piety
and redecorate ♪
503
00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:56,649
♪ Bet our tower would look powerful
with pearlier gates ♪
504
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:59,110
♪ Once we get up there ♪
505
00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:01,237
♪ Up to the promised land ♪
506
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,782
♪ A hundred billion souls await
our every command ♪
507
00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:08,202
♪ We're the biggest fish in Hell,
how 'bout we upgrade the bowl? ♪
508
00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:10,580
♪ It's time for growth,
let's rule 'em both ♪
509
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,206
♪ Take total control ♪
510
00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:14,834
♪ Think of all your dreams
that could come true ♪
511
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,461
-Even the wet ones?
-Yeah, those too.
512
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:18,796
♪ Imagine what it could enable ♪
513
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:19,922
-For my label.
-Yes!
514
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:22,341
♪ A heavenly host that bows
to none but us ♪
515
00:22:22,425 --> 00:22:24,052
♪ I can have hot new angel sluts ♪
516
00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:26,012
♪ Tear off their wings
and make them dresses ♪
517
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,138
♪ And what's best is ♪
518
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:30,808
♪ That dumb princess showed us the way ♪
519
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:34,479
♪ To make those haloed cabronas pay ♪
520
00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:38,232
♪ And once we're gods
I can't wait to say ♪
521
00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:41,444
♪ To everyone who doubted me,
your doubting days are done ♪
522
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:43,196
♪ You'll be cornered,
trapped and tortured ♪
523
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:45,740
♪ Then I'll end you just for fun ♪
524
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:49,660
♪ Once we get up there ♪
525
00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:52,455
♪ The shining kingdom of God ♪
526
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:55,416
♪ No more petty squabbles with the dead ♪
527
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,543
♪ As we stroll the golden promenade ♪
528
00:22:57,627 --> 00:22:59,670
♪ What's an overlord to a deity? ♪
529
00:22:59,754 --> 00:23:01,506
♪ They ain't got a prayer ♪
530
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,216
♪ It'll be so nice in paradise ♪
531
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:05,259
♪ With a splash of vice,
they'll pay the price ♪
532
00:23:05,343 --> 00:23:07,261
♪ We'll rule the sky from up on high ♪
533
00:23:07,345 --> 00:23:08,721
-♪ Once I ♪
-♪ And I ♪
534
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:13,559
-♪ And I ♪
-♪ Get up there ♪
535
00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:17,855
♪ They're fucked ♪♪
536
00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:21,984
-Hey.
-Hey.
537
00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:23,736
What do you think about Vanessa?
538
00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:29,242
Uh, it's not bad,
but, eh, it's not as unique.
539
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:32,411
But if you like it, then I-I love it.
540
00:23:32,495 --> 00:23:34,038
I don't.
541
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:37,500
You'll come up with a good one.
542
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:40,378
I think what makes me saddest
543
00:23:40,461 --> 00:23:43,923
is that none of us got to say goodbye.
544
00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:46,968
Ugh, I wish I could just stop the feelings
545
00:23:47,051 --> 00:23:49,679
and just do what I need to do,
I just can't...
546
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:51,764
Charlie, the feelings are important.
547
00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:54,392
You're allowed to feel them.
548
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:56,269
How about you just let me take on
549
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:58,354
more of the hotel stuff
until you're ready?
550
00:23:58,437 --> 00:23:59,522
Really?
551
00:24:01,899 --> 00:24:04,694
Okay. Okay, thanks.
552
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,864
Then, for now, the hotel is yours.
553
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,991
Hey, what do you think
about the name Vazzie?
554
00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:12,326
Sounds cool and tough, right?
555
00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:14,287
Uh...
556
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:16,122
Yeah, I'll keep work shopping.
557
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:18,207
Yeah.
558
00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:20,751
Our new top, top story:
559
00:24:20,835 --> 00:24:24,547
Charlie Morningstar,
Hell's greatest threat.
560
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,673
That's right, Katie.
561
00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:27,842
Our recent reports
from the Hazbin Hotel tell us
562
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:30,595
that Morningstar demanded
all demons seeking retribution
563
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:34,473
for the exterminations
to "get out" on threat of death.
564
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:37,560
It seems Morningstar has no desire
565
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:41,105
to build an army for demons
who want to fight back,
566
00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:44,275
and instead, wants to create
a hostile environment
567
00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:46,402
where she forces sinners
568
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:51,240
to change and fit into her
restrictive puritanical mold.
569
00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:52,950
Scary stuff.
570
00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:55,036
I know I'm scared.
571
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,538
And everyone else should be, too.
572
00:24:57,622 --> 00:25:01,125
In other news, Hell's powerful
threesome of Voxtek,
573
00:25:01,209 --> 00:25:04,879
the Vees, are now offering sanctuary
574
00:25:04,962 --> 00:25:08,799
to all those affected
by Charlie Morning star's actions.
575
00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:10,218
-Don't listen to those chuckle fucks.
-What are they...
576
00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:12,720
How are they... What I don't...
577
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,683
You're right.
578
00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:19,727
I'm sure this will be old news in a week.
579
00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:22,313
For now, I'm getting you a Harder Daddy.
580
00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:27,652
-Charlie!
-Emily?
581
00:25:27,735 --> 00:25:29,528
Sorry, I don't have much time.
582
00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:32,031
Heaven's going into lockdown 'cause,
you know, Adam was killed,
583
00:25:32,114 --> 00:25:33,408
but now Sera is worried
about Hell wanting revenge,
584
00:25:33,491 --> 00:25:35,534
and Heaven doesn't want any more death,
585
00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:37,537
but is really scared
of what's going to happen next.
586
00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:38,871
Anyway, long story short,
587
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:41,290
Pentious was redeemed
and he is in Heaven now, yay,
588
00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:43,501
but don't worry,
I'll be back again as soon as I can
589
00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:45,586
but yes, your hotel totally works.
590
00:25:45,670 --> 00:25:47,255
Congratulations! Bye.
591
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:26,085
Bento.
44079
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