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1
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:09,677
Wow!
2
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,045
I know.
3
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:12,513
I can't believe it.
4
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:13,946
You slept with our nanny?
5
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,116
Not when she was your nanny.
6
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,019
See, I told y'all.
This is why you should hire
7
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,356
a big old Polish woman
as your babysitter.
8
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,658
Y'all talking about Dagmara?
9
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:27,928
Boy, I miss that woman.
10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,064
- Right?
- Remember when she lifted up
11
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:33,414
- the truck with everybody in it
so I could change a flat? - Mm-hmm.
12
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,004
Well, your son slept
with the nanny.
13
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,872
Dagmara?
14
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,610
Well, I mean, you a grown man,
but Dagmara?
15
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,613
No, not Dagmara. Our nanny.
16
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,282
Who was not your nanny
at the time.
17
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,384
Okay? It's just
a weird coincidence.
18
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,685
Weird coincidence?
Or inevitability,
19
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,321
considering you've slept
with approximately
20
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:57,657
95% of the female population
of Los Angeles.
21
00:00:57,658 --> 00:01:00,728
You know us Butler men, boy.
22
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,466
No- tell me how
the Butler men are.
23
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,336
We-we know when to shut up.
24
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,606
We searched for a month
25
00:01:12,607 --> 00:01:14,507
to find the perfect nanny,
and we finally did.
26
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,445
And then Malcolm comes along
and screws everything up.
27
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,581
Okay, Courtney, I am not proud
of how I behaved.
28
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:23,304
But that was three years ago.
I'm a different guy now.
29
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,753
I will talk to her
and clear the air.
30
00:01:25,754 --> 00:01:28,388
You know, clearly,
your mama was right.
31
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:32,693
You need a nanny that's less...
"pla-ka-kow."
32
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:37,798
And more like
"whoop, boop, doo..."
33
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:44,938
So, you think she's
"pla-ka-kow"?
34
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,341
I've never seen her, baby.
35
00:01:47,342 --> 00:01:49,542
Yes, you did, Dad, you said she
looked like Megan Thee Stallion.
36
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:50,944
Mm.
37
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:53,647
I said
I've never seen the woman.
38
00:01:53,941 --> 00:01:58,751
? Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ?
39
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,254
? Welcome to the hood. ?
40
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,394
?
41
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:09,363
Calvin, you have
got to taste my pickle.
42
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,532
Say what now?
43
00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:13,266
Dave, you want
to try that again?
44
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,835
Yeah, I-I would recommend that.
45
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,438
Look, Calvin, I have realized,
46
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:20,140
when you get caught up
in that nine-to-five grind,
47
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,024
you don't have time
for the things
48
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,776
that make life worthwhile.
49
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,879
Like pickling.
50
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,082
Behold.
51
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,151
A flight of pickles-
52
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:34,120
seven individual pickles
chosen just for you.
53
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,823
Full-sour, half-sour,
cornichon, bread-and-butter,
54
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,057
spicy dill, garlic dill,
55
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:40,027
and spicy garlic dill.
56
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:43,597
All fresh from the laboratory.
57
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,435
It's not a laboratory,
it's our kitchen,
58
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,102
laundry room,
and now living room.
59
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,423
There are jars everywhere.
60
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,375
- Oh, you poor girl.
- I mean, smell my hair.
61
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,010
Yeah, I didn't want
to say anything.
62
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,679
(alarm beeping)
63
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,381
Ooh. My brine's on simmer.
64
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:01,649
I'll be right back.
65
00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:03,616
In the meantime,
enjoy the succulent seven.
66
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:06,854
Oh, we definitely will, Dave.
(chuckles)
67
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,321
Let me get these out of here
68
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,972
before our house starts smelling
like Gemma's hair.
69
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,628
Gemma, um, should we
be worried about Dave?
70
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,597
Yes. Absolutely.
71
00:03:16,598 --> 00:03:18,565
He's been a mess
since he lost his job.
72
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:21,334
This is the first time he's
left the house in three days.
73
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,871
And he calls himself
"The Pickler,"
74
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,906
like some kind
of Batman villain.
75
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,377
Look, don't worry, Gemma.
76
00:03:29,378 --> 00:03:31,311
Whatever we can do to help,
we will, okay?
77
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,046
Absolutely- Calvin,
78
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:35,436
you'll take Dave
out with you tomorrow night.
79
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:38,218
- (gasps)
- Of-of course, you know,
80
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,820
if only there was, um-
81
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,889
tomorrow is Wednesday.
82
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:45,393
And that is
my work late Wednesdays.
83
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,894
I know.
84
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,530
And maybe Dave can join you
at work.
85
00:03:49,531 --> 00:03:52,399
I-I'm sorry,
what work are we talking about?
86
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,001
Calvin has a weekly Spades game
87
00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:56,002
- that he doesn't
want you to know about. - (gasps)
88
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,237
Tina!
89
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:02,009
So you don't want Dave
to play cards with you?
90
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,711
Wow.
91
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,079
It be your own people.
92
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:09,417
Gemma, come on.
Gemma, come on.
93
00:04:09,418 --> 00:04:11,183
Look, you've just
got to understand,
94
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:14,288
Dave has infiltrated
my whole life.
95
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,989
I mean, he's at my barbershop,
96
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,426
he all up and through
the yardecues.
97
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:23,431
He saw Sinners before I did
and spoiled the ending.
98
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,534
I didn't know vampires
Riverdance.
99
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,036
I get it.
100
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,787
So Spades
is your last Black thing.
101
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,132
I mean, you said it, not me.
102
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,136
I mean, you the one
that made it racial.
103
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,277
TINA:
Oh, Calvin,
104
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,212
just cut the crap.
105
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,048
The sooner you say yes,
106
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,916
the sooner she can go home
and shower
107
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:45,553
and I can get the air freshener.
108
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,389
- Okay, fine.
- Oh! Thank you. Thank you.
109
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,620
- Okay, all right now.
- Oh, right, fair, fair.
110
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:56,430
J'ai des chaussures.
J'ai des chaussettes.
111
00:04:56,530 --> 00:05:00,900
Maman a des chaussures.
Maman a des chaussettes.
112
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,870
Ooh, she's so great.
113
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,104
We have a nanny
who speaks French.
114
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,874
Oui oui, we do.
115
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,011
(knocking)
116
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:12,446
- Oh, hey.
- Malcolm.
117
00:05:12,447 --> 00:05:14,447
What? Hey- oh,
so did you give her a heads-up?
118
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,817
No, we were too scared.
What if she flips out?
119
00:05:16,818 --> 00:05:18,818
Well, Courtney,
that's a strong possibility.
120
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,454
- Get out of here right now.
- I don't have to leave anywhere.
121
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:23,657
(overlapping arguing)
122
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:27,761
Hey, Everette. (chuckles)
It's been a while.
123
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,699
Oh. Hey.
124
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,235
(clears throat)
It-It's me.
125
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,970
(exhales)
Malcolm.
126
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,672
Malcolm...
127
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:42,342
We went out.
128
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,548
Oh, yeah, of course, yeah.
129
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,850
You know, it's good to see you.
130
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,321
She don't remember you.
131
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:55,572
(whispers):
Be quiet.
132
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,825
Um, uh, it was three years ago.
133
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,727
Rose Bowl Flea Market?
134
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,562
I bought you an Italian ice?
135
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:02,962
Oh.
136
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,331
Of course.
137
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,734
Uh, Italian ice.
138
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,806
She don't remember you at all.
139
00:06:14,180 --> 00:06:17,977
DAVE:
Thanks for inviting me, Calvin.
140
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,846
Gotta say, it feels good
to get out.
141
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:23,917
Hey, look, my pleasure.
Just, um, be cool, man.
142
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:27,087
Wow, look at this setup.
143
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,356
It's two tables, Dave.
144
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,824
Why have you been
keeping this from me?
145
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,594
Hey, guys.
146
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,328
What's shakin', bacon?
147
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,032
That's why.
148
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,500
Wow, Calvin.
149
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,035
So I couldn't bring my mama,
150
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,037
but you bring Dave?
151
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,574
Yeah, new blood, man.
152
00:06:46,575 --> 00:06:48,207
Now, who wants
to be his partner?
153
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,578
Come on, Calvin,
you know the rules.
154
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:53,280
Whoever brings the new dude
has to be his partner.
155
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:54,748
Who made that rule?
156
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,215
You.
157
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,218
Well, I'll just unmake it.
158
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,420
You can't unmake rules.
That's a rule.
159
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:02,021
That's stupid.
Who made that rule?
160
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,124
- You.
- You.
161
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,031
She went down like a rock.
162
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:14,367
- Everette and her baby Pilates
really wore her out. - Hey now.
163
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:17,337
Uh, hello.
164
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,739
Have we met?
165
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,910
Ha ha, Marty.
166
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:26,379
No, I'm sorry, I just, I just
don't remember you at all.
167
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,550
Man, I can't believe this.
168
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,519
I am a very memorable man.
169
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,686
You are.
Plenty of girls remember you.
170
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,422
And hate you.
171
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,091
- This is a blessing.
- It really is.
172
00:07:38,092 --> 00:07:40,359
I was so worried
we were going to lose Everette.
173
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,162
Let's just take the win.
174
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:46,333
Maybe she doesn't remember me
because my beard is different.
175
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:47,935
It's exactly the same.
176
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,872
It is much thicker
and more defined.
177
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,908
Oh, Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm.
178
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,777
Maybe you don't do sex well.
179
00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,846
? ?
180
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,749
Tina.
181
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:06,754
This has been... so hard.
182
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,990
Thank you so much
183
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,160
for helping me through it.
184
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,262
You are my rock
185
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,598
and my bestie.
186
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,099
(phone chimes)
187
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,500
Oh.
188
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,938
- I love you.
- (phone chimes)
189
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,573
(phone chimes)
190
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,275
Aw.
191
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,310
(phone chimes)
192
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,046
A thumbs-up?
193
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,785
That's it? Huh.
194
00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:42,088
Maybe we can hang?
195
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:46,794
- I need my Tina time.
- (phone chimes)
196
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,761
(phone chimes)
197
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:52,064
Aw. My girl wants to hang.
198
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,401
Oh. Oh...
199
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,171
(phone chimes)
200
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,141
"K."
201
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,680
One letter? K?
202
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:11,652
I open myself up to my best
friend and all I get is a "K"?
203
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,557
Or I could just drink
204
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,760
this whole bottle
205
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:23,163
- by myself.
- (phone chimes)
206
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,432
(phone chimes)
207
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:28,669
Ha! Girl, you so crazy.
208
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,706
(phone chimes)
209
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,810
"LOL."
210
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:39,946
"LOL"?
211
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:43,583
Ugh! I will not be LOL'd at.
212
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,288
- Ha ha, that's how you do it.
- Yeah.
213
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:51,291
Boy, we damn near ran
a Boston on y'all. (laughs)
214
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,393
And what is a Boston?
215
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,595
It means they beating our ass,
Dave.
216
00:09:56,864 --> 00:10:00,333
All right, I bid three books.
217
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,534
I got four.
218
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,370
Yeah, I got three.
219
00:10:03,522 --> 00:10:05,537
One.
220
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,808
One? That's all you got?
221
00:10:07,809 --> 00:10:09,809
Well, it's like I always say,
Calvin,
222
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,811
under-promise, over-deliver.
223
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,546
That's not how it works, Dave.
224
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,917
If we over-deliver,
then we're penalized.
225
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,786
A'ight, come on, let's play.
226
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,854
Jack of diamonds.
227
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,022
Ace of diamonds!
228
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,224
Oh, oh, you're coming in hard.
229
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,193
Well, I'm about to
come in harder.
230
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,896
No one is as hard as me.
231
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:34,935
Hey, Calvin, get your boy, man.
232
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,037
- Four of diamonds.
- Okay.
233
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:40,440
Ace of spades.
234
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:43,276
(laughing)
235
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,512
Dave, w-why would you play that?
I already won the hand.
236
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,783
- I know, but now we both won it.
- That's not how it works.
237
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:53,520
You know what? Time out.
I need another drink.
238
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:56,589
Okay, Calvin.
We've got this.
239
00:10:56,690 --> 00:11:00,559
No, we don't. See, I knew
this was gonna be an issue,
240
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,610
that's why I didn't
really want you here.
241
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,530
No, no, no-
look, I'm a fast learner.
242
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,266
It's not about that.
243
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,867
What do you mean?
244
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,201
Check this out.
245
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,571
- God is good...
- ALL: All the time.
246
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,473
- Whoomp...
- ALL: There it is.
247
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:16,109
- Don't stop...
- ALL: Get it, get it.
248
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:20,247
Oh. Okay, you know what?
Now I'm double hurt, Calvin.
249
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,549
Okay, first of all,
I knew the "God was good" thing,
250
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,452
I just wasn't ready.
251
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,487
And second of all,
252
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,397
after all that
we've been through,
253
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,992
you are still
keeping me at an arm's length.
254
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:34,560
Look, Dave,
you're my man, 50 grand.
255
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:37,164
But there's a vibe that you
and I don't have-
256
00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:38,631
it-it's a certain...
257
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,634
- Je ne sais quoi?
- Definitely not.
258
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,805
- (sighs)
- Dave,
259
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:48,208
what he's saying is
you're not like us.
260
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,177
Okay, well, what does that mean?
261
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:53,480
You don't have a Black bond.
262
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,785
Whoops. There it is.
263
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,953
ALL:
It's "whoomp."
264
00:12:06,587 --> 00:12:11,363
Wow, Dave, you're pretty good
with those cards.
265
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,433
Yeah, well, I was a birthday
party magician for six years.
266
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,935
But you wouldn't
know that, Calvin,
267
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,505
'cause apparently we don't vibe.
268
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,342
Come on, Dave, can we just
win one game, please?
269
00:12:22,343 --> 00:12:25,544
Oh, oh, so you're admitting that
you can't do this without me?
270
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,917
Yes. You literally have
to have a partner to play.
271
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,288
Whatever, y'all.
I'm getting four books.
272
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,890
I got three.
273
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:39,159
And I got five on it.
274
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,492
Ten.
275
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,030
Ten?
276
00:12:43,031 --> 00:12:45,631
Well, Dave, that means we
would have to win every book.
277
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:48,235
Come on, man,
you gotta take that back.
278
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,004
Uh-uh. No backsies. Your rule.
279
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,206
Look, Calvin, we can do this.
280
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:56,043
We have made such a great team
so many times before.
281
00:12:56,044 --> 00:12:58,144
Look, we-we've done
escape rooms together.
282
00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,678
We've pop-locked together.
283
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,914
The only thing we haven't done
together is golfed
284
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,584
because I don't
have any clubs of my own.
285
00:13:04,585 --> 00:13:06,352
Dave, what-what are you
talking about?
286
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,020
You've never told me
you wanted to golf.
287
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:11,558
Right.
Because I don't have any clubs.
288
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,767
All right, okay.
289
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:25,405
I guess the next time we go,
we'll have to use mine.
290
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,206
But after that,
291
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:31,811
we can finally catch up on those
last two Kevin Hart movies.
292
00:13:31,925 --> 00:13:37,049
Okay, can we stop talking
about y'all's date night
293
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,919
and get back to the card game?
294
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,955
Don't be a hater, Trey.
295
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,555
Oh, that's it? Okay.
296
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,925
Yup, jack of clubs,
that should walk, right there.
297
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,460
Man, that's all you got?
298
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,562
- Pow!
- Pop, pop.
299
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,933
Okay, well, uh,
300
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,901
two of spades.
301
00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,136
Sorry, guys.
302
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,138
Dave, no, you don't say sorry.
303
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,874
This is Spades.
You supposed to talk trash.
304
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,442
Okay, well...
305
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:05,612
two of spades. Put that
in your pipe and smoke it.
306
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,814
? ?
307
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,018
Courtney.
308
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,220
- Can I talk to you?
- Sure.
309
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,788
Alone? It's a girl thing.
310
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:19,225
Oh. Okay.
I'll just go around the block.
311
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,593
(chuckles)
Oh, hey, Gemma.
312
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,729
(chuckles)
This is going to be hilarious.
313
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,097
Next time you see Malcolm,
314
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,467
act like you don't
remember him at all.
315
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,369
(laughs)
316
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,838
Are you leaving or what?
317
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,977
You text, right?
318
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,712
Yeah, I text.
319
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,580
Oh. Great.
320
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,382
If you were reaching out
to a friend
321
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,218
about something emotional-
you texted them "I love you"-
322
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,989
how would you feel if they
sent back a thumbs-up?
323
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,958
Just a thumb?
Geez, that's harsh.
324
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:55,794
Right? Well, and then
I texted "Maybe we can hang,"
325
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,797
and she sent back a "K."
326
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,667
- A "K"?
- Yes, Courtney. A "K."
327
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,603
And then
this person "LOL'd" at me.
328
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:09,509
Gemma, I'm sorry,
but she is not your friend.
329
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:12,144
So I should call her out, right?
330
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,480
- This person is toxic.
- (gasps)
331
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,284
- You have to call her out.
- Oh, I'm gonna let her have it.
332
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:19,886
- Good.
- Right now.
333
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,889
Oh, God. This friend is Tina?
334
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,059
She's no friend, right?
Your words.
335
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,529
Ah, Tina Butler,
336
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,598
is there anything you can't do?
337
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:37,104
Tina Butler,
the toxicity ends now!
338
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,873
I'm sorry, what?
339
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:44,244
You know how vulnerable I am.
My husband lost his job.
340
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,980
He's spiraling-
this afternoon he pickled a yam.
341
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,581
A yam!
342
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,085
I am at my most fragile,
343
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:55,722
and you "LOL" at me?
344
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:58,824
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Gemma,
slow down.
345
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,692
What are you talking about?
346
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,595
What am I talking about?
347
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,565
Ring a bell?
348
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:06,733
No. It doesn't.
349
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:09,636
The texts.
I opened my heart to you.
350
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,504
And you sent back a thumbs-up,
351
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,906
and then a "K."
352
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,608
Gemma.
353
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,844
I was painting my nails.
354
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,814
Well, that's no excuse
for being a...
355
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,484
Oh, so...
356
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,353
you couldn't type.
357
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:27,553
No!
358
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,589
I was poking the phone
with my knuckles.
359
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,561
So you weren't being mean?
360
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,130
Aw, man.
361
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:39,232
You are a white girl
that needs a hug.
362
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,669
- I am.
- Oh, my gosh.
363
00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:45,071
- Look...
- (sighs)
364
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:47,005
I know you're going through
a lot right now.
365
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,309
I mean,
anybody would be freaking out.
366
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:53,146
I also have a gut full
of pickles and chardonnay.
367
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,447
Ooh, okay.
368
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:57,284
You know what?
I'll get you some ginger ale.
369
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:00,320
And let's agree-
text messages are a terrible way
370
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,455
to talk about emotional stuff.
371
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,124
You know? There's no context.
372
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,792
You're right.
And I shouldn't
373
00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:07,593
have let Courtney
get me all riled up.
374
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,596
Courtney?
375
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,567
There it is.
376
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,936
12 books in a row.
377
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:20,107
Come on, Julian,
we gotta win this last one.
378
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,875
Okay, thanks, Trey.
That's helpful.
379
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,246
Come on, now,
show me what you got.
380
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:27,414
Yeah.
381
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:28,948
Ah.
382
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,352
Bam! There it is!
That's the sweep, baby!
383
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,321
Swept 'em.
384
00:17:34,322 --> 00:17:36,021
Man, how the hell
did they do that?
385
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:37,923
Well, I think
it's quite clear, Trey.
386
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:40,660
Calvin and I have a bond
of our own.
387
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,829
Well, I don't like it.
388
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,165
?
389
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,470
Hello, Everette.
390
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,939
Hey...
391
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,641
you.
392
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,910
- Malcolm.
- Malcolm.
393
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:01,047
Yes, uh, well, listen, I was
just in the neighborhood,
394
00:18:01,048 --> 00:18:03,182
thought I would bring you
an Italian ice.
395
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,051
Maybe jog the old memory.
396
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:07,587
Ooh, cherry.
397
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,488
- That's my favorite.
- Oh.
398
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,539
- How'd you know that?
- Because we dated.
399
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,025
Ooh.
400
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,028
Right. Look, I'm really sorry
about that.
401
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,730
I just have no recollection.
402
00:18:17,731 --> 00:18:19,731
Which is weird,
because I usually have
403
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,367
- an uncanny memory
for most things. - Mm.
404
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,169
- Like, check this out-
Wesley Snipes? - Okay.
405
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:24,904
- Mm-hmm.
- His birthday's July 31.
406
00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:26,037
That's crazy, right?
407
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,307
Yeah, that is crazy.
(laughs)
408
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,876
You know what else is crazy?
409
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:32,745
Is that we watched Passenger 57
at your apartment.
410
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,314
Ooh, look, I'm sorry.
411
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,916
Okay, girl, please sit down.
412
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,786
Listen, it was a Saturday night.
413
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,222
We had Thai food,
we watched a movie,
414
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,557
and then we went
to Dave & Busters.
415
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,726
Did we play
that basketball game?
416
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,527
Yeah! Pop-A-Shot.
(laughs)
417
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,897
- That was you?
- That was me.
418
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,267
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
419
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:55,602
I beat you.
420
00:18:55,603 --> 00:18:58,670
And you said your machine
wasn't working right.
421
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,741
Okay, well, that does sound
like a legitimate concern.
422
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,278
So we switched machines,
and I beat you again.
423
00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:07,679
And then your friend Trey
laughed at you,
424
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,649
and you had a complete meltdown.
425
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,621
Okay, but I did buy you
mozzarella sticks.
426
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,457
Wow, I really blocked
all that out.
427
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:20,092
It was, by far,
the worst date I've ever had.
428
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,762
(laughs)
429
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,396
(clears throat)
430
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:25,965
Are you sure that was me?
431
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,738
Ooh. Hey.
You ate all the pickles.
432
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,140
Yeah, let's go with that.
433
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,109
Well, I hope you enjoyed them.
434
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,912
Because the Pickler
is hanging up his cape.
435
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,615
Yeah, he had a cape.
436
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,218
Which I don't need anymore,
thanks to Calvin.
437
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:49,289
You know, I don't know if
you know this, Gemma,
438
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,224
but, actually,
439
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,426
I've been in a bit
of a weird place
440
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,561
since I lost my job.
441
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,564
Really?
442
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,301
I know,
I've put on a brave face.
443
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,836
But... (sighs)
I was feeling like a loser.
444
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:05,436
And, I don't know, last night,
445
00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:07,072
Calvin made me feel
like a winner.
446
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,875
You're damn straight.
Hey.
447
00:20:08,876 --> 00:20:11,477
Hey, you know, you're the best
Spades partner I ever had.
448
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,912
Wasn't it amazing?
We were like Butch and Sundance.
449
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,348
Like chicken and waffles.
450
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,384
Like Crate and Barrel.
451
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:21,488
Okay, that's on me, guys,
I encouraged him.
452
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:24,956
Well, the dream is over.
453
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,825
Yeah, a month to find
the perfect nanny,
454
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:27,994
two days for her to quit.
455
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,330
Oh, no. That's a shame.
456
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,798
Yeah, sure is.
457
00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:34,433
You know, I'm still
Facebook friends with Dagmara.
458
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,202
I can reach out.
459
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,371
How old is she now?
460
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,106
Mrs. B?
461
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,108
We may be in need of
a little help with Daphne
462
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:45,444
next week until we can
find a replacement.
463
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,079
Hmm, I don't know.
464
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,916
Are you sure you want
a babysitter who's toxic?
465
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:54,921
- Gemma.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
466
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:03,630
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
467
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:06,399
and TOYOTA.
468
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:09,936
Captioned by
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469
00:21:09,986 --> 00:21:14,536
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