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1
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- How you livin'?
- What?
2
00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:03,412
- How you livin'?
- What?
3
00:00:03,488 --> 00:00:06,252
- How you livin'?
- ♪ In living color♪
4
00:00:08,059 --> 00:00:12,155
- ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
5
00:00:12,230 --> 00:00:16,496
- ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
6
00:00:16,567 --> 00:00:20,128
- ♪ You for me and me for you ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
7
00:00:20,204 --> 00:00:24,698
- ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
8
00:00:24,776 --> 00:00:27,404
- ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
9
00:00:27,478 --> 00:00:29,639
- ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪
- ♪ All right ♪
10
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♪ Here comes another one of thosefunky, funny mo'money shows ♪
11
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♪ A cast for laughsand talented roles ♪
12
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♪ And sisters with twistersfor you been lookin', listener♪
13
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♪ It seems you don't believeso you can believe what I convince ya ♪
14
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♪ Some booty to your short and thoughtWe'll make it snappy ♪
15
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♪ With jokes and pokesat folks to keep you happy ♪
16
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♪ No need to holdyour remote control ♪
17
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♪ ChillThis show's got soul ♪
18
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♪ All aboard, all aboardThe train never troubles ♪
19
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♪ You'd better snuggle upcouple up ♪
20
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- ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
21
00:00:52,036 --> 00:00:55,267
♪ It's hard to believebut some of the best things in life are free ♪
22
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♪ So, fellas, grab your girlTell her that you love her♪
23
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♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin'when you're livin'in living color♪
24
00:01:00,445 --> 00:01:04,643
♪ Go, go, go, gogo, go, go, go ♪
25
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♪ Go, go, go, gogo, go, go, go ♪
26
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♪ Go, go, go, gogo, go, go, go ♪
27
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♪ Go, go, go, go, go ♪♪
28
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[Man Announcing]And now, another episode ofThe Head Detective.
29
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I don't see anything, Detective Head.
30
00:01:32,610 --> 00:01:34,544
- It smells like a setup to me.
- [Sniffs Deeply]
31
00:01:34,612 --> 00:01:38,048
But you wouldn't know anything about that,
because you're just a stupid rookie.
32
00:01:38,116 --> 00:01:40,983
Hey, hey, hey!
I'm not stupid, okay?
33
00:01:41,052 --> 00:01:43,384
Besides, why do they call you "Head"?
34
00:01:43,454 --> 00:01:46,048
Something crazy from
your college days, huh?
35
00:01:46,124 --> 00:01:49,252
Just go check out the back.
I'll keep an eye on things here.
36
00:01:49,327 --> 00:01:52,854
Okay. Wait, wait. We need a code word
you can yell if you get in trouble.
37
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,421
How 'bout "help," you idiot?
38
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:58,401
Got it. No problem.
39
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:04,731
I'm gonna camouflage you.
40
00:02:07,278 --> 00:02:10,975
- Mmm, ripe and ready to eat.
- [Switch Clicks]
41
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:14,916
And you, mi amigo,
are ripe and ready to die.
42
00:02:14,986 --> 00:02:18,319
The Dominguez brothers...
Manny, Moe and Joaquin.
43
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,721
I thought I sent you to prison for life.
44
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:23,852
Yeah, but with good behavior...
Phht! Got out in three months.
45
00:02:23,928 --> 00:02:26,453
And we spent those three long meses
dreaming of the day...
46
00:02:26,531 --> 00:02:29,591
when we could put you through
your worst nightmare.
47
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:33,626
No, no, not juggling. Help!
48
00:02:35,006 --> 00:02:37,634
- Freeze!
- Help!
49
00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:41,644
Damn, that sounds like Head.
But he definitely said, "Help, you idiot."
50
00:02:41,712 --> 00:02:44,704
He's just yelling "Help."
[Laughs]
51
00:02:44,782 --> 00:02:48,513
He's probably testing me.
Oh, it's a trap.
52
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,713
Think you're slick, Head.
53
00:02:53,324 --> 00:02:55,315
Freeze.
54
00:02:55,393 --> 00:02:58,419
Buenas noches, la Cabeza. Pull!
55
00:02:58,496 --> 00:03:01,556
- Go on!
- [Laughing Wildly]
56
00:03:04,969 --> 00:03:06,960
[Beeping]
57
00:03:11,909 --> 00:03:15,208
Doc! Is he gonna make it?
58
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:20,444
It's touch and go at this point, son.
We... had to amputate.
59
00:03:20,518 --> 00:03:23,612
Amputate? What-What part?
60
00:03:23,688 --> 00:03:29,320
- Maybe we should sit down.
- Damn it, Doc! Give it to me straight.
61
00:03:29,393 --> 00:03:33,159
- His hands and his feet.
- Oh, God!
62
00:03:33,231 --> 00:03:35,722
We were able to save his ears.
63
00:03:37,768 --> 00:03:41,568
- Can I see him, Doc?
- Do you have a strong stomach, son?
64
00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:43,937
- Yeah.
- [Whispers] Go ahead.
65
00:03:48,846 --> 00:03:51,838
- [Machinery Beeping]
- Come on, sir.
66
00:03:51,916 --> 00:03:56,182
You're gonna make it. Just hold on.
You're gonna make it.
67
00:03:56,254 --> 00:03:58,950
- Okay?
- [Sustained Beep]
68
00:03:59,023 --> 00:04:01,514
No, sir, I won't let you go!
69
00:04:01,592 --> 00:04:04,152
Clear!
70
00:04:04,228 --> 00:04:06,526
- [ElectricalJolt]
- Uuh!
71
00:04:06,597 --> 00:04:08,895
Clear!
72
00:04:08,966 --> 00:04:10,365
Ow!
73
00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:15,168
- Rookie?
- Sir?
74
00:04:15,239 --> 00:04:17,639
- Is that you, rookie?
- You bet!
75
00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:21,200
- I can't feel my arms.
- They're in the other room, sir.
76
00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:23,213
- Rookie, come here.
- Huh?
77
00:04:23,281 --> 00:04:25,215
- Come closer.
- Yeah?
78
00:04:25,283 --> 00:04:28,514
[Shouting] What the hell is wrong with you,
leaving me alone like that?
79
00:04:28,586 --> 00:04:31,146
Get me out of here.
It's payback time.
80
00:04:33,257 --> 00:04:36,420
- ♪♪ [Salsa]
- [All Chattering]
81
00:04:36,494 --> 00:04:40,260
Hey, check here.
We got a package for the Dominguez brothers.
82
00:04:40,331 --> 00:04:43,129
It's from Juan Valdez, a piñata-gram.
83
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,634
Hey, somebody likes us.
All right!
84
00:04:47,004 --> 00:04:49,598
It'll make hiding from the law
a little bit more fun.
85
00:04:49,674 --> 00:04:54,702
Ah, ¡mira! It's party time!
[Chuckles]
86
00:04:54,779 --> 00:04:58,306
- Okay, freeze, jalapeños. You're under arrest.
- ¡La Cabeza!
87
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:01,943
No! N-No! Heads up, wiseguy.
88
00:05:05,923 --> 00:05:09,415
- Look out, Head!
- You may have won this time, la Cabeza...
89
00:05:09,493 --> 00:05:12,587
but I'm going to have the last laugh.
[Laughing]
90
00:05:13,598 --> 00:05:16,089
Head!
91
00:05:16,167 --> 00:05:19,193
Ha-ha-ha! ¡A y!
92
00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:23,229
I got you, Head! I got you!
Come on, baby. Come on.
93
00:05:23,307 --> 00:05:25,298
- Whoo-hoo!
- Thanks, rookie.
94
00:05:25,376 --> 00:05:27,367
Yeah!
95
00:05:32,283 --> 00:05:35,616
Head? Head?
96
00:05:35,686 --> 00:05:39,952
[Announcer] This has been another episodeofThe Head Detective.
97
00:05:43,861 --> 00:05:46,830
Excuse me, madam.
Could I have a moment of your time, please?
98
00:05:46,897 --> 00:05:50,355
- I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry. I've got a plane to catch.
- Please, wait.
99
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:54,530
You don't understand. I'm not a beggar,
I'm a poet, and I'd like to read you a short poem.
100
00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:57,438
Now, if you like my poem,
then I'd appreciate a small donation.
101
00:05:57,508 --> 00:06:00,204
If not, then all I want to hear
is your honest criticism.
102
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,768
All right, go ahead.
103
00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:05,077
Thank you. I call this poem...
104
00:06:05,149 --> 00:06:08,380
"Unidentified Flying Objects."
105
00:06:10,888 --> 00:06:13,356
Hark, who goes there?
106
00:06:13,424 --> 00:06:16,825
A bird, a butterfly...
107
00:06:16,894 --> 00:06:19,624
tender raindrops falling.
108
00:06:19,697 --> 00:06:23,793
A rock, a brick, a tightly clenched fist.
109
00:06:23,868 --> 00:06:26,928
Ka-bang!
Crashing into the unsuspecting bitch's skull.
110
00:06:27,004 --> 00:06:30,337
Ouch! Groan!
A bloodcurdling scream.
111
00:06:30,408 --> 00:06:35,107
Aa-aa-aahh!
Fingers clawing at piercing blue eyes!
112
00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:38,979
All the colors of the rainbow,
when all I wanted was some green.
113
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:42,349
Pain, agony, misery!
114
00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:46,015
These are a few of my favorite things.
[Spits]
115
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[Stammering]
Th-That was very good.
116
00:06:48,959 --> 00:06:53,623
- Um, here take this. Uh, just please, don't hurt me!
- Hey! Hey, thanks.
117
00:06:53,698 --> 00:06:56,861
- Thanks for supporting arts. Have a nice trip, lady.
- Excuse me, sir.
118
00:06:56,934 --> 00:07:00,734
- Would you like to buy some
candy to support my troop?
- Sorry, littleJohn Singleton...
119
00:07:00,805 --> 00:07:03,467
but I ain't got no...
120
00:07:03,541 --> 00:07:07,068
I ain't in a position right now to make
a monetary contribution to your cause.
121
00:07:07,144 --> 00:07:11,080
But, uh, have a...
Feel free to take this little poem back with you...
122
00:07:11,148 --> 00:07:14,174
to your little friends
at the clubhouse, okay?
123
00:07:14,251 --> 00:07:18,654
I call this poem "Twinkle, Twinkle."
124
00:07:18,723 --> 00:07:22,215
You like that, right?
"Twinkle, Twinkle."
125
00:07:22,293 --> 00:07:25,091
Twinkle, twinkle, little Smurf...
126
00:07:25,162 --> 00:07:28,131
selling Milk Duds on my turf.
127
00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:31,431
Disappear without a trace.
128
00:07:31,502 --> 00:07:33,834
On a carton of milk, you'll find his face.
129
00:07:33,904 --> 00:07:36,031
Twinkle, twinkle, candy man...
130
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:39,702
punched in your mouth
by this big, black hand.
131
00:07:39,777 --> 00:07:43,406
Hey, there, little fella.
Is this guy bothering you?
132
00:07:43,481 --> 00:07:46,041
He's a bad man!
133
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:48,745
All right, buddy,
let's see your solicitor's permit.
134
00:07:48,819 --> 00:07:53,119
- Hey, man, since when do you need
a permit to recite poetry?
- Are you a poet?
135
00:07:53,190 --> 00:07:55,351
- Yeah!
- Well, now, why didn't you say so?
136
00:07:55,426 --> 00:07:57,587
- I'm a bit of a poet myself.
- Get outta here.
137
00:07:57,661 --> 00:07:59,754
- Yeah, and I'd like your honest criticism.
- Okay.
138
00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:03,288
Now, I call this one
"The Poet Near Gate 82."
139
00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:05,301
[Clears Throat]
140
00:08:05,369 --> 00:08:09,271
[Loudly]
There once was a cop on his beat...
141
00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:12,138
who met up with a poet
from the street.
142
00:08:12,209 --> 00:08:15,804
The cop threw him in jail,
the poet couldn't make his bail...
143
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:19,577
and now his nickname
is just "Sweet Meat"!
144
00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:23,643
Where you going, man?
You're gonna miss the best part!
145
00:08:23,721 --> 00:08:26,815
All right, the show's over.
Come on. Move a long, little guy.
146
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,691
♪♪ [Funk]
147
00:09:07,626 --> 00:09:11,118
♪♪ [Man Rapping]
148
00:09:48,567 --> 00:09:51,035
[Cheering]
149
00:09:51,103 --> 00:09:53,435
Thank you.
150
00:09:55,341 --> 00:09:57,366
Thank you.
151
00:09:57,443 --> 00:10:00,571
But you know,
waking up every morning...
152
00:10:00,646 --> 00:10:02,773
on a cold sidewalk...
153
00:10:02,848 --> 00:10:06,511
with no food or shelter,
that's not so funny.
154
00:10:06,585 --> 00:10:10,214
The homeless don't need our scorn.
They need our respect.
155
00:10:10,289 --> 00:10:15,556
- They shouldn't have to beg.
- ♪♪ [Singing Soul]
156
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:24,163
Okay, okay. All right, I'll bite.
157
00:10:24,236 --> 00:10:28,570
- Who-Who are you?
- Oh, I'm Anton Jackson.
158
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,541
It's a pleasure
to meet your acquaintance.
159
00:10:31,610 --> 00:10:35,478
- Hey!
- Hey, I'm an all-around entertainer.
160
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:39,415
I'm surprised you didn't
invite me to be on the show.
161
00:10:39,485 --> 00:10:44,149
See, I do comedy, magic...
You know, I do all sorts of things.
162
00:10:44,223 --> 00:10:46,384
Listen, mister,
we're doing a show here.
163
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:51,293
You better get off me
'fore I move my bowels on you.
164
00:10:51,363 --> 00:10:55,231
Now, l... I don't think that'll be necessary.
Look, just let him stay, you know.
165
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:58,667
Since the show is about
people like him...
166
00:10:58,737 --> 00:11:02,639
I think maybe it's only fair that
we should let him perform, okay?
167
00:11:02,708 --> 00:11:05,506
- I think... What do you say?
- [Cheering]
168
00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:13,181
So, okay. All right, so, uh...
so let's-let's see what you can do.
169
00:11:13,252 --> 00:11:16,380
- Anton?
- Yeah, okay. Well, my first magic trick...
170
00:11:16,455 --> 00:11:19,583
I'm gonna make Whoopi here disappear.
171
00:11:19,658 --> 00:11:24,789
Now, I say, hocus-pocus,
broccoli and ocras...
172
00:11:24,863 --> 00:11:27,559
couple of Vienna sausage,
a hard-boiled egg...
173
00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:30,796
and some leftover Chinese food.
174
00:11:31,804 --> 00:11:34,568
- Oh, God, man!
- Disappear!
175
00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:37,899
Ta-da!
176
00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:41,102
Okay, just like Ghost.
177
00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:46,777
You know, its good to be back in L.A.
I just spent time on the road.
178
00:11:46,852 --> 00:11:51,482
Actually, it was more like the ground.
[Laughs]
179
00:11:51,557 --> 00:11:55,288
Ba-dum-bum.
That's a "bum roll."
180
00:11:55,360 --> 00:12:00,821
I just flew in from the sperm bank,
and boy are my arms tired.
181
00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:06,627
Seriously, folks, seriously,
I was standing in line...
182
00:12:06,705 --> 00:12:09,936
at the soup kitchen the other day,
a woman comes up to me.
183
00:12:10,008 --> 00:12:14,069
She said, "Hey, what's your sign?"
I said, "Will work for food."
184
00:12:16,014 --> 00:12:20,110
And now, for another magic trick,
ladies and gentlemen...
185
00:12:20,185 --> 00:12:22,244
the never-ending booger.
186
00:12:30,596 --> 00:12:32,928
Here, bring that home to your kids.
187
00:12:35,267 --> 00:12:39,499
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to introduce a good friend of mine.
188
00:12:39,571 --> 00:12:42,972
This is my little homeless pal, Squeegee.
189
00:12:45,410 --> 00:12:47,935
Say hello to the people, Squeegee.
190
00:12:48,013 --> 00:12:52,473
[Nasally]
Hey, hello, how's everybody? Where we at?
191
00:12:52,551 --> 00:12:55,019
Oh, we're at the Comic Releef.
192
00:12:55,087 --> 00:12:58,853
Okay, well, then,
let me relieve myself.
193
00:13:03,295 --> 00:13:06,025
Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen, thank you.
194
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,858
Listen, ladies and gentlemen,
I'm not gonna hog the whole show...
195
00:13:11,937 --> 00:13:14,303
because I'd like to introduce...
196
00:13:14,373 --> 00:13:17,035
a very personal friend of mine...
197
00:13:17,109 --> 00:13:19,441
a discovery of my own.
198
00:13:19,511 --> 00:13:22,002
I met this woman in my box...
199
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,208
and I've been trying
to unwrap hers ever since.
200
00:13:26,652 --> 00:13:31,851
Ladies and gentlemen,
give it up for Miss Shirley Dupree!
201
00:13:34,259 --> 00:13:37,057
Give it up, damn it.
I didn't come all the way...
202
00:13:37,129 --> 00:13:41,725
from the Betty Ford Center here tonight
for you to look at me like I'm crazy.
203
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,668
Put them hands together
and give up the clap!
204
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:48,900
[Cheers, Whistles]
205
00:13:48,974 --> 00:13:54,344
Thank you.
Yes, I just flew in from Betty's place...
206
00:13:54,413 --> 00:13:56,677
and I want you to know...
207
00:13:56,748 --> 00:14:01,048
that Betty can have
my endorsement any day.
208
00:14:01,119 --> 00:14:04,555
I had a ball.
209
00:14:09,027 --> 00:14:11,723
[Coughs]
By the way...
210
00:14:11,797 --> 00:14:15,392
I was introduced tonight
as Shirley Dupree.
211
00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:18,231
But I'm known among my peers...
212
00:14:18,303 --> 00:14:20,294
on the jazz circuit...
213
00:14:20,372 --> 00:14:24,001
as Shirley "Thunderbutt"...
214
00:14:27,412 --> 00:14:29,642
Dupree.
215
00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:31,706
[Scattered Laughter]
216
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:33,774
Why you laughing?
217
00:14:33,852 --> 00:14:36,548
I know why you're laughing.
You're saying, "Well, where's the butt?"
218
00:14:36,622 --> 00:14:39,420
Well, I want all
y'all to know something.
219
00:14:39,491 --> 00:14:43,154
I was a fine, young,
sexy thing in my day.
220
00:14:44,696 --> 00:14:47,688
I had breasts as big as basketballs...
221
00:14:47,766 --> 00:14:50,200
and a butt bigger
than Oprah Winfrey's...
222
00:14:50,268 --> 00:14:53,829
and Nell Carter's put together.
223
00:14:53,905 --> 00:14:58,137
And if I'm lyin', I'm flyin'.
As you can see, I'm still here on the ground.
224
00:14:59,911 --> 00:15:04,143
I want to thank Whippi...
225
00:15:04,216 --> 00:15:08,550
Whoppi... Wonton...
whatever her name is...
226
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:11,248
for helping the homeless people.
227
00:15:11,323 --> 00:15:15,225
We homeless people
got to stick together...
228
00:15:15,293 --> 00:15:18,524
and we've gotta get our own.
229
00:15:18,597 --> 00:15:24,433
Which reminds me of a song my good,
dead friend Billie Holiday used to sing.
230
00:15:26,138 --> 00:15:30,302
♪♪ [Singing Blues]
231
00:15:37,149 --> 00:15:40,084
Sound like her, don't I?
232
00:15:50,495 --> 00:15:52,986
Oh, yeah. Come on.
233
00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:55,898
Help me out here, Anton.
234
00:15:57,035 --> 00:15:59,196
Help me out, baby.
235
00:16:01,707 --> 00:16:03,698
♪♪ [Imitating Harmonica]
236
00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:30,397
♪♪ [Imitating Harmonica Continues]
237
00:16:39,978 --> 00:16:42,469
[Cheering, Applause]
238
00:16:49,087 --> 00:16:51,453
Thank you.
239
00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:56,222
Damn, I didn't know you could sing like that.
Mama, you sure can blow.
240
00:16:56,294 --> 00:16:59,263
You ain't seen nothing yet.
241
00:17:08,707 --> 00:17:11,437
Hey, thank you very much.
We had a great time tonight.
242
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:15,708
And I just want to remind you...
we all want to remind you... get out and vote.
243
00:17:15,781 --> 00:17:18,773
It's the only way we can
bring about change. Vote!
244
00:17:20,385 --> 00:17:22,649
♪♪ [Hip-hop]
20556
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