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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,053 --> 00:00:06,353 [Announcer] And now a message from Oswald A. Bates, attorney-at-law. 2 00:00:06,424 --> 00:00:10,087 Are you a penal implant? 3 00:00:10,161 --> 00:00:13,153 Regurgitating behind bars while your ex-mammary... 4 00:00:13,231 --> 00:00:16,928 is "polleonating" every "scrotarian" in town? 5 00:00:17,001 --> 00:00:19,799 Were you arrested under false circumcisions... 6 00:00:19,871 --> 00:00:23,363 and reincarnated against your will? 7 00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:27,104 In semen's terms, are you in jail? 8 00:00:27,178 --> 00:00:30,113 Then let the orifices of Oswald Bates... 9 00:00:30,181 --> 00:00:33,150 "siligmize" your intrinsical needs. 10 00:00:33,217 --> 00:00:35,583 Uh, my name Tiny. 11 00:00:35,653 --> 00:00:38,121 I was stabbed in the shower... 12 00:00:38,189 --> 00:00:41,920 by inmate number 4356783. 13 00:00:41,993 --> 00:00:43,927 Uh, that's Bubba to us. 14 00:00:43,995 --> 00:00:46,862 And Oswald got me conjugal visits... 15 00:00:46,931 --> 00:00:51,027 with a girl with big breasts... and a pack of Winstons. 16 00:00:51,102 --> 00:00:53,161 Thank you, Oswald. 17 00:00:53,237 --> 00:00:56,570 You too can share in this infectious "enemanitus." 18 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:59,474 Don't constipate. Simply wipe to the front and call: 19 00:01:03,181 --> 00:01:06,412 Yeah, thanks to Oswald Bates, I got three more years in prison. 20 00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:09,783 Yeah, thanks a lot, Oswald. Thanks a lot. 21 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:14,151 Unfortunately, we cannot impregnate everybody. 22 00:01:14,225 --> 00:01:17,353 That's beyond our colonic threshold. 23 00:01:17,428 --> 00:01:19,521 [Announcer] The law offices of Oswald Bates. 24 00:01:19,597 --> 00:01:21,895 Call: 25 00:01:22,934 --> 00:01:23,923 - How you livin'? - What? 26 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,093 - How you livin'? - What? 27 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:27,296 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 28 00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:33,871 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 29 00:01:33,945 --> 00:01:38,211 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 30 00:01:38,282 --> 00:01:42,082 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 31 00:01:42,153 --> 00:01:46,419 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 32 00:01:46,491 --> 00:01:49,119 - ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 33 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,354 - ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 34 00:01:51,429 --> 00:01:53,897 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 35 00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:55,489 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 36 00:01:55,566 --> 00:01:57,693 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 37 00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:59,737 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 38 00:01:59,804 --> 00:02:01,829 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 39 00:02:01,906 --> 00:02:03,999 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 40 00:02:04,075 --> 00:02:06,270 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 41 00:02:06,344 --> 00:02:08,312 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 42 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,677 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 43 00:02:10,748 --> 00:02:12,113 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 44 00:02:12,183 --> 00:02:13,878 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 45 00:02:13,951 --> 00:02:17,182 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 46 00:02:17,255 --> 00:02:19,280 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 47 00:02:19,357 --> 00:02:21,723 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 48 00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:25,627 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 49 00:02:25,696 --> 00:02:31,032 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 50 00:02:31,102 --> 00:02:35,539 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 51 00:02:35,606 --> 00:02:36,834 ♪ Go, go, go ♪ 52 00:02:36,908 --> 00:02:38,705 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 53 00:02:45,716 --> 00:02:48,913 Hey, down here. 54 00:02:48,986 --> 00:02:52,854 [Announcer] Detective Head, in his first international adventure. 55 00:02:55,026 --> 00:02:59,463 Head, your assignment is to retrieve a tiny microchip... 56 00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:04,695 which contains the plans to a deadly doomsday device from this woman. 57 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:07,033 Wow, is that Pussy Galore? 58 00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,197 No, it's a lesser operative... Kitty Litter. 59 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:13,266 - Great picture. - From Faces International. 60 00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:17,838 Now, she has the microchip somewhere on her person. 61 00:03:17,915 --> 00:03:22,409 Anyway, let's move on to my favorite part, the gadgets. 62 00:03:24,255 --> 00:03:28,282 This is Head's new robotic body, which will be operated by you with that remote. 63 00:03:28,359 --> 00:03:31,294 Wow! Just like Super Mario. 64 00:03:31,362 --> 00:03:34,422 Super Mario! Yes! [Laughing] 65 00:03:34,499 --> 00:03:36,490 Good show! 66 00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:39,092 Yes. It also has a fully functioning anatomy... 67 00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:42,401 - which you operate with the other toggle switch. - [Whirring] 68 00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:44,907 That's what they mean by joystick. 69 00:03:44,976 --> 00:03:48,139 What about this? I mean, is this, uh, like a blender... 70 00:03:48,212 --> 00:03:50,271 that doubles for a flamethrower or something? 71 00:03:50,348 --> 00:03:53,681 No, that's an actual blender. We were having milk shakes earlier. 72 00:03:53,751 --> 00:03:56,720 - You care for one? - Sure. 73 00:03:56,787 --> 00:04:01,781 Remember, gentlemen, the fate of the free world depends upon you. 74 00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:04,157 Cheers. 75 00:04:04,228 --> 00:04:06,219 Hey, gimme some. 76 00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:12,194 ♪♪ [Music] 77 00:04:14,639 --> 00:04:16,971 [Whirring] 78 00:04:17,041 --> 00:04:21,501 Wait. Come on. Back, back. Okay, stop. Stop, stop, stop. 79 00:04:21,579 --> 00:04:24,776 Look, there's Kitty Litter now. 80 00:04:24,849 --> 00:04:27,010 Look, this is gonna be really dangerous. 81 00:04:27,084 --> 00:04:29,814 You better let me go over there and pry that information out of that beautiful woman. 82 00:04:29,887 --> 00:04:32,151 No way. 83 00:04:32,223 --> 00:04:34,157 All right, suit yourself. 84 00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:36,557 [Whirring] 85 00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:43,333 You've got the prettiest smile I've ever seen. 86 00:04:43,401 --> 00:04:45,335 Why, thank you. 87 00:04:45,403 --> 00:04:48,497 White teeth are very important to me. 88 00:04:48,573 --> 00:04:51,872 May I wet them for you? With a drink, I mean. 89 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,740 Certainly. 90 00:04:53,811 --> 00:04:57,838 Okay, let me see how this thing works. Uh, to the right. 91 00:04:57,915 --> 00:05:00,213 Ooh, sorry. 92 00:05:00,284 --> 00:05:03,447 I'm sorry, Head, but all the instructions are in Japanese. 93 00:05:03,521 --> 00:05:05,386 I'm terribly sorry. 94 00:05:05,456 --> 00:05:08,619 No, l-I liked it. 95 00:05:08,693 --> 00:05:10,627 Well, then, would you care to dance? 96 00:05:10,695 --> 00:05:14,062 Maybe I could bruise your shins or something. 97 00:05:14,131 --> 00:05:17,658 [Head Grunting] 98 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:21,068 Oh, my, you seem a little stiff. 99 00:05:21,138 --> 00:05:24,574 Does it show? Partner, loosen up on the throttle a little. 100 00:05:24,642 --> 00:05:27,611 Oh, roger, Head. I'll just, uh... 101 00:05:27,678 --> 00:05:30,340 - [Whirs] - Too loose! Too loose! 102 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,405 I'm dancing like Shabba Doo. 103 00:05:32,483 --> 00:05:35,748 Wow! You really cook. 104 00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:38,345 I bet you get even hotter in bed. 105 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:41,516 I bet you're like a machine. 106 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:43,457 Let's move in for the kill. 107 00:05:43,527 --> 00:05:47,293 Good idea, Head. Now, while you kiss her, I'll go for the microchip. Go. 108 00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:50,266 [Moaning] 109 00:05:51,702 --> 00:05:55,866 Listen, that's really nice, but you can stop kissing me now. 110 00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:59,501 I would like to, but my body has a mind of its own. 111 00:05:59,577 --> 00:06:02,171 The controls are jammed. 112 00:06:02,246 --> 00:06:04,305 Let go of me! 113 00:06:04,382 --> 00:06:07,044 Idiot, look what you've done. 114 00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:10,087 We've knocked the cap off my tooth. 115 00:06:10,154 --> 00:06:12,315 The microchip, it's in her tooth, Head. 116 00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:15,154 You're right. The chip must be in her cap. 117 00:06:15,226 --> 00:06:17,091 How did you know about the chip? 118 00:06:18,162 --> 00:06:20,687 - You must be a spy. - Yes. 119 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:25,528 [Gags] And now I must be going. 120 00:06:34,578 --> 00:06:36,637 - Head, where's the microchip? - I swallowed it. 121 00:06:36,714 --> 00:06:38,648 I need a Dick Gregory enema, man. 122 00:06:38,716 --> 00:06:40,980 The future of the free world hangs in my bowels. 123 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:44,044 Look, I gotta get you outta here before those goons get here. What are we gonna do? 124 00:06:44,121 --> 00:06:46,612 You know what to do. Remember when you played for the Mets? 125 00:06:46,691 --> 00:06:48,852 You hit a three-run homer to clinch the pennant. 126 00:06:48,926 --> 00:06:52,054 - This is no time to reminisce. - You know what I'm talking about, buddy. 127 00:06:52,129 --> 00:06:54,359 Hit me outta here. Knock me outta the park. 128 00:06:54,432 --> 00:06:56,332 I can't. Too dangerous. 129 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,925 Then do it for the boy who's dying in the hospital bed. 130 00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:00,937 What dying boy in the hospital bed? 131 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:04,168 I don't know. Just do it! Call it out. 132 00:07:08,713 --> 00:07:10,738 Okay, partner, you're the man. You can do it. 133 00:07:10,815 --> 00:07:14,581 Just give me your best shot. I want you to hit me like Rodney King. 134 00:07:14,652 --> 00:07:17,086 Aah! 135 00:07:18,756 --> 00:07:22,658 [Announcer] This has been another episode ofThe Head Detective. 136 00:07:25,996 --> 00:07:29,090 [Announcer] And now, back to the continuing adventures... 137 00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:33,830 of that incredible African-American daredevil, Super Clyde. 138 00:07:33,904 --> 00:07:36,839 Good evening and welcome. Last week on the show... 139 00:07:36,907 --> 00:07:39,501 Super Clyde faced his most difficult challenge ever. 140 00:07:39,577 --> 00:07:42,239 He drove his Hyundai on a high-speed chase... 141 00:07:42,313 --> 00:07:45,043 through the streets of Los Angeles without a camcorder. 142 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:49,143 Tonight, we're backstage on amateur night at the Apollo Theater in Harlem. 143 00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:51,154 Champ, what are you gonna do this time? 144 00:07:51,222 --> 00:07:54,919 Well, Jim, this is the most death-defying feat I've ever attempted. 145 00:07:54,992 --> 00:07:57,085 I'm going to try to do stand-up comedy... 146 00:07:57,161 --> 00:07:59,755 in front of this Apollo amateur night audience. 147 00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:02,321 Super Clyde, what's so dangerous about that? 148 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,630 Well, to be perfectly honest with you, I'm just not that funny. 149 00:08:05,703 --> 00:08:07,637 Oh, that is dangerous. 150 00:08:07,705 --> 00:08:09,935 Has anyone else attempted this besides yourself? 151 00:08:10,007 --> 00:08:12,805 Well, Sinbad, Joe Torre and a few others. 152 00:08:12,877 --> 00:08:16,438 But no one using the type of material that I'm going to attempt tonight. 153 00:08:16,514 --> 00:08:20,382 Well, good luck, Super Clyde. Or should I say "break a leg"? 154 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,649 Thank you, Jim. 155 00:08:24,722 --> 00:08:27,452 [Announcer] And now will you please welcome to the stage... 156 00:08:27,525 --> 00:08:30,619 the comedy stylings of Super Clyde. 157 00:08:30,694 --> 00:08:33,219 [Crowd Booing] 158 00:08:35,132 --> 00:08:37,293 Thank you Apollo. Thank you. 159 00:08:37,368 --> 00:08:39,427 You know, it's good to be here. Let's see what's going on. 160 00:08:39,503 --> 00:08:41,596 Oh, I'm dating a white woman now. 161 00:08:41,672 --> 00:08:43,731 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 162 00:08:43,808 --> 00:08:45,969 See, 'cause a white woman knows how to treat a brother. 163 00:08:46,043 --> 00:08:47,977 Black women are always trippin', right? 164 00:08:48,045 --> 00:08:50,070 - [Booing] - Brothers know what I'm talkin'about. 165 00:08:50,147 --> 00:08:53,742 Quick joke. What's black and brown and looks good on a black man? 166 00:08:53,818 --> 00:08:56,412 A Doberman pinscher. [Laughing] 167 00:08:56,487 --> 00:08:58,421 Thank you. Thank you. 168 00:08:58,489 --> 00:09:01,049 How do you stop a black man from robbing you? Throw him a basketball. 169 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,719 - [Booing Continues] - [Laughs] Thank you. 170 00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,762 It's starting to get a little scary out there for Super Clyde. 171 00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:07,764 Let's see if he can get out of it. 172 00:09:07,832 --> 00:09:09,800 And you know what I don't understand? 173 00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:13,200 What do the police punish black people by puttin' 'em in jail? 174 00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:16,068 Man, that just puts them closer to their friends and relatives, right? 175 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,074 - [Laughing] - [Gunshot] 176 00:09:18,142 --> 00:09:21,043 I mean, uh, that's not punishment, that's a house party. 177 00:09:21,111 --> 00:09:24,012 - You know what I'm saying? - [Gunshots] 178 00:09:24,081 --> 00:09:26,879 Oh, you got me. Uh, but seriously, folks. 179 00:09:26,951 --> 00:09:30,614 I do think that what we need now is a black man in the White House. 180 00:09:30,688 --> 00:09:33,885 I mean, who else is gonna drive the president around in the limo? 181 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,154 [Cheering] 182 00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:41,255 Super Clyde, are you okay? 183 00:09:41,332 --> 00:09:45,735 Yeah, Jim, I'm fine. It was just a massive blow to the head. That's all. No big deal. 184 00:09:45,803 --> 00:09:49,295 That was one of the most amazing displays of bravery I have ever seen. 185 00:09:49,373 --> 00:09:51,307 What can we expect from you next, Super Clyde? 186 00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:54,640 Well, on next week's show, I will attempt to walk into a bar mitzvah... 187 00:09:54,712 --> 00:09:56,646 dressed as Louis Farrakhan. 188 00:09:56,714 --> 00:09:58,739 Woah, sounds challenging. 189 00:09:58,816 --> 00:10:01,842 That's our show for today. Join us next time with Super Clyde. 190 00:10:01,919 --> 00:10:03,944 [Applause] 191 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:07,457 ♪♪ [Music] 192 00:10:35,853 --> 00:10:38,219 ♪♪ [Music Continues] 193 00:10:51,535 --> 00:10:54,003 ♪♪ [Ends] 194 00:10:59,018 --> 00:11:01,077 All right, welcome back to The Dating Game. 195 00:11:01,153 --> 00:11:03,417 I'm your obligatory host. 196 00:11:03,489 --> 00:11:05,548 Now let's meet our new bachelorette. 197 00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:09,061 Please welcome Miss Wanda Wayne. 198 00:11:09,128 --> 00:11:12,063 - Holy crap.! - Ho. 199 00:11:13,666 --> 00:11:17,932 Hey. Hey, word up. What are y'all doing? 200 00:11:18,004 --> 00:11:20,666 Lakita, I told you I was gonna be on TV, girl. 201 00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:23,834 So, Wanda... 202 00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:26,003 tell us about yourself. 203 00:11:26,078 --> 00:11:29,445 Oh, okay, then. For real though. Uh... 204 00:11:29,515 --> 00:11:33,849 First of all, I won, uh, Miss High Pro Glow... 205 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,150 - three years in a row. - Mm-hmm. 206 00:11:36,222 --> 00:11:38,452 Then I won Miss Swap Meet for two years. 207 00:11:38,524 --> 00:11:43,393 And then... And then I was, like, a second runner-up in Miss Compton. 208 00:11:43,462 --> 00:11:45,396 But there was some political stuff going on. 209 00:11:45,464 --> 00:11:48,433 Something about some hair weave spray had came up missin'. 210 00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:51,527 But, you know, I got my own natural blonde hair. I don't need nobody's spray. 211 00:11:51,604 --> 00:11:54,664 That's very nice, Wanda. Very nice indeed. Now let's meet our bachelors. 212 00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:56,867 Bachelor number one... 213 00:11:56,943 --> 00:12:00,276 bachelor number two... 214 00:12:00,346 --> 00:12:03,406 and bachelor number three. 215 00:12:03,482 --> 00:12:05,950 Wanda, number three is my lucky number. 216 00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:09,784 I hope it's yours too, girl, because I believe we could have a lot of fun together. 217 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:13,222 Ain't nobody asked you nothin'. 218 00:12:13,292 --> 00:12:16,420 You sound like you're bourgeois anyway. 219 00:12:16,495 --> 00:12:20,022 I can see my breath in here. 220 00:12:20,099 --> 00:12:22,897 Well, Wanda, if you're ready, go ahead, take a seat. 221 00:12:27,773 --> 00:12:30,401 Anyway, uh... 222 00:12:30,476 --> 00:12:32,410 - First question, Wanda. - All right. 223 00:12:32,478 --> 00:12:35,072 Hey, uh, word up. 224 00:12:35,147 --> 00:12:38,674 Uh, Bachelor Number One, okay, this is a "secury." 225 00:12:38,751 --> 00:12:43,950 Uh, I got a piece of popcorn stuck in the back of my teeths. 226 00:12:44,023 --> 00:12:46,548 How would you get it out? 227 00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:49,389 Well, Wanda, I probably wouldn't even get it out. 228 00:12:49,462 --> 00:12:52,329 What I'd do is I'd probably put some butter on my tongue... 229 00:12:52,398 --> 00:12:56,027 and just work it on in there with the rest of that popcorn. 230 00:12:56,102 --> 00:12:58,036 [Crowd Whooping] 231 00:12:58,104 --> 00:13:00,299 Hey! 232 00:13:02,408 --> 00:13:04,501 Just trying to get nasty over there, ain't ya, with that? 233 00:13:04,577 --> 00:13:07,205 You know, you need to do something else, like take me out to eat or something... 234 00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:10,180 before you can get in my stuff, and, uh... Okay. 235 00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:11,841 - Wanda? - Yes. 236 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:15,216 I don't know about the popcorn, but this lipstick is really bothering me. 237 00:13:20,659 --> 00:13:22,524 You all right for a white man. 238 00:13:25,097 --> 00:13:29,932 Okay, uh, Bachelor Number Two, same question... 239 00:13:30,002 --> 00:13:35,440 only instead of popcorn, it's a piece of pig feet in my back molars. 240 00:13:35,508 --> 00:13:37,635 How would you get it out? 241 00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:41,407 Well, Wanda, I'd just add a little hot sauce to set your mouth on fire. 242 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,041 - Hey.! - And then I'd put my lips around yours. 243 00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:49,986 - Word up.! - And I would suck until your forehead caved the hell in. 244 00:13:50,056 --> 00:13:52,081 Hey, all right then. Word up! 245 00:13:52,158 --> 00:13:55,889 I like his answer. I like his answer. Can I go get him now? 246 00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:59,761 I ain't had my forehead caved in in a long time. 247 00:13:59,832 --> 00:14:02,323 Not since that LL CoolJ concert. 248 00:14:02,401 --> 00:14:04,369 Let's move on to number three, Wanda. 249 00:14:04,437 --> 00:14:06,735 Okay, then, uh, now, Bachelor Number Three... 250 00:14:06,806 --> 00:14:09,274 it's our first date, and we're in our apartment and stuff. 251 00:14:09,341 --> 00:14:13,107 And I got on some sexy "lingery" and stuff. 252 00:14:13,179 --> 00:14:16,671 And, uh, and... and... and so you can... 253 00:14:16,749 --> 00:14:18,683 It's real, like, revealing and stuff. 254 00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:21,276 You can see, like, the "centrifugalness" of my body. 255 00:14:21,353 --> 00:14:23,321 Now, how would you turn me on? 256 00:14:23,389 --> 00:14:26,552 Well, Wanda, I'd probably take you in my arms... 257 00:14:26,625 --> 00:14:30,891 as I whispered some poetry in your ear, in old Latin... 258 00:14:30,963 --> 00:14:33,557 while we gazed at some sculptures... 259 00:14:33,632 --> 00:14:35,930 - or paintings or... - What? What you talking about? 260 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:39,027 Maybe watch some public television. That's how I'd turn you on. 261 00:14:39,105 --> 00:14:41,039 The only thing gonna get turned on is the light... 262 00:14:41,107 --> 00:14:43,075 so you can see how to get your ass out of my apartment. 263 00:14:46,078 --> 00:14:48,740 [Host] Woah.! 264 00:14:48,814 --> 00:14:52,306 Anyway, uh, Bachelor Number One. Bachelor Number One, now this is your question. 265 00:14:52,384 --> 00:14:57,117 Now, if I had a tattoo of the United States all over my body... 266 00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:59,953 which area of the country would you go visit? 267 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:02,084 I'm going to Europe. 268 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:11,197 Bachelor Number One, what's wrong with you? Cat got your tongue? 269 00:15:11,270 --> 00:15:16,469 Well, good-lookin', I'd probably start at the mouth of the Mississippi River... 270 00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:19,909 and ride it all the way down to the Gulf of Mexico, girl. 271 00:15:22,248 --> 00:15:24,773 Okay, uh, now, Bachelor Number Two. 272 00:15:24,850 --> 00:15:27,580 What part of the country would you hang out in? 273 00:15:27,653 --> 00:15:32,681 Well, Wanda, first I would go to the peak of the Rocky Mountains. 274 00:15:32,758 --> 00:15:35,124 Then I'd loosen up that Sun Belt. 275 00:15:35,194 --> 00:15:37,924 Go on with your bad self. 276 00:15:37,997 --> 00:15:41,763 Then I'd make a run for the border. 277 00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:44,268 Hey! 278 00:15:44,336 --> 00:15:46,861 Gimme a chicken "taquita." 279 00:15:46,939 --> 00:15:49,703 - That's what I'm sayin'. Okay, uh... - ♪♪ [Music] 280 00:15:49,775 --> 00:15:54,144 Well, time's up, Wanda. That's the funny sound. 281 00:15:54,213 --> 00:15:58,172 Okay, now you have a big decision to make. Will it be bachelor number one... 282 00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:03,745 bachelor number two or bachelor number three? 283 00:16:03,822 --> 00:16:06,655 Okay, uh, shoot. I can only pick one, huh. 284 00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:09,125 - Make a decision, Wanda. - Okay, uh... 285 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,364 I choose number two. 286 00:16:13,432 --> 00:16:15,366 [Host] Okay.! 287 00:16:18,337 --> 00:16:22,467 What a lucky guy. 288 00:16:22,541 --> 00:16:25,305 Now let's meet the bachelors you didn't pick. 289 00:16:25,377 --> 00:16:29,711 Wanda, bachelor number one, Derrick Clinton. 290 00:16:29,782 --> 00:16:32,114 - Hey, what's up, man? - Hey, what's up? 291 00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:39,451 Now say hello to bachelor number three, Steve Bigbun. 292 00:16:40,693 --> 00:16:43,662 Oh, hey. You oughta... 293 00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:47,794 [Laughing] 294 00:16:58,577 --> 00:17:01,774 What's wrong with y'all? 295 00:17:01,847 --> 00:17:04,008 Now let's meet the bachelor you did pick. 296 00:17:04,083 --> 00:17:09,111 Here's bachelor number two, lucky Paul Nelson. 297 00:17:09,188 --> 00:17:11,816 [Screams] 298 00:17:13,225 --> 00:17:15,489 What's wrong with you? 299 00:17:15,561 --> 00:17:17,495 What's wrong with you? 300 00:17:17,563 --> 00:17:20,327 What's wrong with you? 301 00:17:20,399 --> 00:17:22,959 What's wrong with you? 302 00:17:23,035 --> 00:17:25,765 [Host Indistinct] 303 00:17:27,206 --> 00:17:30,664 Just settle... Just settle down. 304 00:17:30,743 --> 00:17:34,338 Just settle down. Ju... Ju... Just settle. 305 00:17:34,413 --> 00:17:37,712 What's wrong with you? I'm the catch of the day. 306 00:17:37,783 --> 00:17:41,082 Somebody need to throw your ugly ass back. 307 00:17:41,153 --> 00:17:43,781 What you say? I know you not trippin'. 308 00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:47,656 - No, no, he said, "There's no way I'm turnin' back." - I know he's not trippin'. 309 00:17:47,726 --> 00:17:50,320 - Oh, okay then. Hey. - Hey, man, is there something in the rule book... 310 00:17:50,396 --> 00:17:52,330 that says forget about the whole thing if we're not compatible? 311 00:17:52,398 --> 00:17:54,332 - 'Cause, come on, man. - No, I got the rule book right here. 312 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,369 - You do? - The rule book says, chapter seven, part four... 313 00:17:57,436 --> 00:18:02,135 section eight, it says, "I got you, and I'm ready to go." 314 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:04,175 It says that. 315 00:18:05,978 --> 00:18:07,912 - That's what it says. - That's what it says, pal. 316 00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:11,313 Look, I'm not the one you wanted, I'm sure. Because number one, he was... 317 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:13,544 No, you are the one I wanted. You're the one talking about... 318 00:18:13,619 --> 00:18:15,553 you were gonna suck the pig feet outta my mouth. 319 00:18:15,621 --> 00:18:18,784 - Here are the pig feet right here. - She's got the pig feet. 320 00:18:18,857 --> 00:18:21,325 And you said you was gonna use, like, hot sauce and stuff. 321 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:24,328 - I got the hot sauce. - She's got it. Well! 322 00:18:24,396 --> 00:18:26,887 - What's wrong with you? - Oh, there go my heart again. My heart! 323 00:18:26,965 --> 00:18:29,024 - Your heart? - Yeah, I got this heart condition. 324 00:18:29,101 --> 00:18:31,194 - It always gets me, so I know I got to get out. - Don't worry about it. 325 00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:34,797 I got you covered. You ain't got to worry. Station 51. 326 00:18:34,873 --> 00:18:38,809 Well, Wanda, if you can get this man drunk enough... 327 00:18:38,877 --> 00:18:43,337 you two are gonna be spending a wonderful, beautiful week in sunny Hawaii. 328 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:46,851 Oh, good, 'cause I get to wear my new string bikini that I had. 329 00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:49,217 Where'd it go? Oh, here it is. 330 00:18:49,288 --> 00:18:52,553 I get to wear my new string bikini. 331 00:18:52,624 --> 00:18:55,684 [Choking] 332 00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:57,888 - 'Cause see... - Put your head between your legs, man. 333 00:18:57,963 --> 00:18:59,897 Head between your legs. 334 00:18:59,965 --> 00:19:02,297 - [Coughs] - What's wrong? You all right? 335 00:19:02,368 --> 00:19:04,598 'Cause see, I'm just gonna be the beauty on the beach. 336 00:19:04,670 --> 00:19:07,434 Beauty and the beast. 337 00:19:07,506 --> 00:19:10,031 Oh, you so crazy. You ain't no beast. 338 00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:12,509 You two are like you're married already or something. 339 00:19:12,578 --> 00:19:14,739 - Hey. - Another happy couple, ladies and gentlemen. 340 00:19:14,813 --> 00:19:17,748 Curtis, Suzy, come on out here and join us, will ya? 341 00:19:17,816 --> 00:19:19,784 - What's wrong with you? - Oh, God, no. 342 00:19:19,852 --> 00:19:21,786 I'm gonna rock your world. 343 00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:27,221 Well, it's time to give our Dating Game good-bye kiss, kids. 344 00:19:29,928 --> 00:19:33,193 ♪♪ [Music] 345 00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:41,663 All right, well, um, it's about that time. 346 00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:43,799 Uh, this is the end of our season. 347 00:19:43,876 --> 00:19:46,777 We had a-a great year. We thank you all for watchin'. 348 00:19:46,845 --> 00:19:48,779 It's a very bittersweet moment here on In Living Color. 349 00:19:48,847 --> 00:19:52,283 We wanna say good-bye to one of our cast members, Damon Wayans... 350 00:19:52,351 --> 00:19:55,616 on his way to a superstar movie career. 351 00:20:00,259 --> 00:20:02,750 [Cheering, Applause] 352 00:20:02,828 --> 00:20:04,762 He never... He never gets in the closing. 353 00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:08,789 He never gets in the closing. Last close. 354 00:20:08,867 --> 00:20:14,100 We... We had great times and we wish... Of course, we wish him the best. 355 00:20:14,173 --> 00:20:17,301 And, uh, come back and visit sometime. Love ya. 356 00:20:26,652 --> 00:20:29,712 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 357 00:20:59,284 --> 00:21:02,117 [No Audible Dialogue] 358 00:21:22,207 --> 00:21:27,645 [No Audible Dialogue] 359 00:21:29,615 --> 00:21:31,913 [No Audible Dialogue] 360 00:21:59,511 --> 00:22:02,537 ♪♪ [Continues] 361 00:22:28,807 --> 00:22:31,241 ♪♪ [Continues] 362 00:22:46,725 --> 00:22:50,183 ♪♪ [Ends] 30744

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