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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,252 --> 00:00:05,279 They're malnourished, homeless... their young lives... 2 00:00:05,356 --> 00:00:07,847 slowly wasting away. 3 00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:11,190 Hello. I'm Sally Struthers... 4 00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:17,064 and each year we lose another handful of America's most valuable commodity: 5 00:00:17,135 --> 00:00:19,695 Child TV stars. 6 00:00:19,771 --> 00:00:23,901 Imagine yourself a child on a hit TV series. 7 00:00:23,975 --> 00:00:27,172 You reach puberty, your show is canceled... 8 00:00:27,245 --> 00:00:30,976 and your parents have spent all your money. 9 00:00:31,049 --> 00:00:35,247 God, the stench of failure is sickening. 10 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:39,950 You turn into a gun nut, make bad career choices: 11 00:00:41,192 --> 00:00:44,958 Drug addiction, attempted murder... 12 00:00:45,029 --> 00:00:48,226 even transvestite-bashing. 13 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:50,859 All hope is lost. 14 00:00:50,935 --> 00:00:54,769 But now, thanks to you, there's hope. 15 00:00:54,839 --> 00:00:58,104 For just 75 cents a day... 16 00:00:58,176 --> 00:01:01,111 the price of a cup of coffee... 17 00:01:01,179 --> 00:01:04,410 the Adopt a TV Child Foundation helps... 18 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:07,280 get these kids back on track. 19 00:01:07,352 --> 00:01:11,220 What happens to your 75 cents? 20 00:01:11,289 --> 00:01:16,386 It helps to put your TV child back in the environment he's familiar with... 21 00:01:16,461 --> 00:01:19,487 so he can cope with his failure. 22 00:01:19,564 --> 00:01:24,729 It pays for acting lessons to help prepare for 20-year reunion specials... 23 00:01:24,802 --> 00:01:27,896 plus lawyers' fees, talk show transportation... 24 00:01:27,972 --> 00:01:32,204 and, of course, bail if necessary. 25 00:01:32,276 --> 00:01:37,509 Most important, it keeps your child comfortable and happy. 26 00:01:38,783 --> 00:01:43,015 - [Sighs] Hi. I'm Danny Bonaduce. - [Coughs] 27 00:01:43,087 --> 00:01:45,885 I used to be into transvestite prostitutes. 28 00:01:45,957 --> 00:01:49,757 Now, with the help of Adopt a TV Child Foundation... 29 00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:52,990 I'm into straight prostitutes. 30 00:01:53,064 --> 00:01:56,659 - Thanks. - Thank you, Danny. 31 00:01:56,734 --> 00:01:59,726 With a small donation, you'll be able... 32 00:01:59,804 --> 00:02:03,831 to watch your TV child grow strong and healthy. 33 00:02:03,908 --> 00:02:09,107 Who knows? They may even land another TV series. 34 00:02:09,180 --> 00:02:11,774 So what are you waiting for? 35 00:02:11,849 --> 00:02:17,014 Send in your 75 cents, and adopt a TV child today. 36 00:02:17,088 --> 00:02:19,283 Just call: 37 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:24,892 Do it now. 38 00:02:24,962 --> 00:02:26,452 - How you livin'? - What? 39 00:02:26,531 --> 00:02:27,623 - How you livin'? - What? 40 00:02:27,698 --> 00:02:29,825 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 41 00:02:31,769 --> 00:02:36,433 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 42 00:02:36,507 --> 00:02:40,273 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 43 00:02:40,344 --> 00:02:43,905 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 44 00:02:43,981 --> 00:02:48,475 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 45 00:02:48,553 --> 00:02:51,181 - ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 46 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,416 - ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 47 00:02:53,491 --> 00:02:55,823 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 48 00:02:55,893 --> 00:02:57,827 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 49 00:02:57,895 --> 00:02:59,920 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 50 00:02:59,997 --> 00:03:01,862 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 51 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:03,901 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 52 00:03:03,968 --> 00:03:06,061 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 53 00:03:06,137 --> 00:03:08,332 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 54 00:03:08,406 --> 00:03:10,374 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 55 00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:12,739 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 56 00:03:12,810 --> 00:03:13,970 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 57 00:03:14,045 --> 00:03:15,740 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 58 00:03:15,813 --> 00:03:19,044 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 59 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,141 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 60 00:03:21,219 --> 00:03:23,585 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 61 00:03:23,654 --> 00:03:28,557 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 62 00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:33,086 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 63 00:03:33,164 --> 00:03:37,396 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 64 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,696 ♪ Go, go, go ♪ 65 00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:41,294 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 66 00:03:45,743 --> 00:03:49,201 [Man] Hey, guy. Have you ever gone to bed with a woman... 67 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,408 who you thought looked like Robin Givens... 68 00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:56,419 but when you wake up, looks more like Robin Leach? 69 00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:58,648 - [Screeches] - [Man] That's what you call "coyote ugly"... 70 00:03:58,723 --> 00:04:02,557 - because you'd gnaw your own arm off to get out of there. - [Chewing] 71 00:04:02,627 --> 00:04:07,360 Well, chew no longer, because the new Coyote Ugly Escape Kit is here. 72 00:04:07,431 --> 00:04:10,832 Coyote Ugly Escape Kit is the disposable prosthetic arm you attach... 73 00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:13,302 before you go to bed with that special someone. 74 00:04:13,371 --> 00:04:16,101 Simply fasten the realistic, stylish Coyote arm... 75 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:19,267 and you're all set for those rude awakenings. 76 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:23,803 [Woman] What's keepin'you, baby? I need your lovin'arms around me.! 77 00:04:23,881 --> 00:04:26,509 No problem, thanks to the Coyote Ugly Escape Kit. 78 00:04:26,584 --> 00:04:29,314 [Man] At the moment of revulsion, simply unfasten the hinges... 79 00:04:29,387 --> 00:04:34,017 and you're free and clear, with no messy torn ligaments or unpleasant arterial bleeding. 80 00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:37,857 Yes, Coyote Ugly promises a happy hump with no bloody stump. 81 00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:41,888 So remember, guys: With Coyote brand, you can say farewell to arms... 82 00:04:41,966 --> 00:04:44,434 and farewell to last night's nightmare. 83 00:04:44,502 --> 00:04:46,902 [Howling] 84 00:04:49,106 --> 00:04:51,199 [Drums Beating] 85 00:04:51,275 --> 00:04:56,235 [Man] K. Y.Y.T. Presents a minority-affairs program, Black Like You. 86 00:04:56,314 --> 00:05:00,842 Here are your hosts, Tom and Tom, the Brothers Brothers. 87 00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:04,717 - [Loud Cheering] - Whoo! 88 00:05:04,789 --> 00:05:08,247 - Hola. - Thank you. Thank you. 89 00:05:08,326 --> 00:05:12,353 Welcome to Black Like You. Not us. 90 00:05:12,430 --> 00:05:14,591 - [Sighs] - Oh, boy. 91 00:05:14,665 --> 00:05:18,328 Well, I'm so excited tonight, Tom. We have a very special guest: 92 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,893 African filmmaker Spike Lee. 93 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:24,339 Oh, wow! That's great! I loved all those karate movies he made. 94 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:27,434 - [Karate Yells] Enter the Dragon... - Tom! 95 00:05:27,511 --> 00:05:31,379 - What? - I think you popped a boner. 96 00:05:31,449 --> 00:05:34,646 We're talking about Spike Lee, not Bruce Lee. 97 00:05:34,719 --> 00:05:39,156 You know... Spike, the little guy with the skinny legs and big feet? 98 00:05:39,223 --> 00:05:41,783 Oh, the troublemaker. 99 00:05:41,859 --> 00:05:44,225 - Shall we bring him out? - Sure. Bring him out. 100 00:05:44,295 --> 00:05:48,061 Ladies and gentlemen, Spike Lee! Come on out, Spikey. 101 00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:53,235 - How are ya, Spikey? - He's a lot taller than I thought. 102 00:05:53,304 --> 00:05:56,137 - No. - Your knees are not as big as I thought either. 103 00:05:56,207 --> 00:06:00,234 - No, man. I'm not Spike Lee. - All right, Mr. Singleton. 104 00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:05,078 - Let's get right to it. - I'm notJohn Singleton either. 105 00:06:05,149 --> 00:06:09,848 Well, you're certainly not Robert Townsend. Your nose is too small. 106 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,754 What other African filmmaker is there out there? 107 00:06:13,824 --> 00:06:17,954 - I don't know. - Hey, wait a minute. You're that Long Dong Silver guy. 108 00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:21,294 You'd better get off our show right now. 109 00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:25,768 I'm perplexed, Tom. It says here he's an Afrin... Afro... Af... 110 00:06:25,836 --> 00:06:29,738 It just scares me, this black stuff. 111 00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:32,674 He's an Afro-American filmmaker. 112 00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:35,906 Well, I don't even see an afro. Where is it? 113 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:39,347 In the shop, gettin' the kinks out? 114 00:06:39,417 --> 00:06:43,046 Hey, look, man. My name is Morgan Casey, and I'm an African-American filmmaker... 115 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,647 and I'm here to talk about the problems relevant to blacks and movies. 116 00:06:46,724 --> 00:06:49,955 Well, let's do that. Let's talk about blacks and films. 117 00:06:50,027 --> 00:06:52,655 Why do those people talk so loud in the movie? 118 00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:55,927 I mean, you know, they're always throwing popcorn... 119 00:06:56,000 --> 00:07:00,960 and I'm sitting behind some guy with a jheri curl, and it's dripping in my popcorn. 120 00:07:01,038 --> 00:07:04,735 I want butter, not jheri curl juice. 121 00:07:04,809 --> 00:07:08,768 They're both so greasy, you can't really tell the difference, can you? 122 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:12,338 Look, man. That's not it. See, there is a lack of roles for African-Americans... 123 00:07:12,416 --> 00:07:15,408 in film and in television, and that's what I'm here to talk about. 124 00:07:15,486 --> 00:07:20,355 Come on. What about America's Most Wanted? 125 00:07:20,424 --> 00:07:23,257 - Good point. - That's all you ever see are black guys on that. 126 00:07:23,327 --> 00:07:25,557 And what about the show Cops? Heck... 127 00:07:25,629 --> 00:07:29,224 if they took the black guys off that, we wouldn't even have a show. 128 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:32,929 And what about the movie that was just out... LoJack City... 129 00:07:33,003 --> 00:07:35,801 - with that guy... what's-his-name... Ice Cold? - Ice Cream. 130 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:40,071 You guys are all wrong. It's NewJack City. NewJack City and Ice-T. 131 00:07:40,144 --> 00:07:42,942 Oh, we don't have any iced tea. We have some Kool-Aid. 132 00:07:43,013 --> 00:07:45,709 - We got the red kind. - You like that, don't ya? 133 00:07:45,783 --> 00:07:49,879 Look, what I been tryin' to say is that black Americans are portrayed... 134 00:07:49,954 --> 00:07:53,685 only as criminals, slaves, porch monkeys... 135 00:07:53,758 --> 00:07:58,161 - Hold it right there. Hot-diggity-darn, you hold it right there! - Tom, Tom, Tom... 136 00:07:58,229 --> 00:08:00,629 - you're losing your... your, um... - Tom... 137 00:08:00,698 --> 00:08:03,531 - Pressure. - It's nothing... What he's talking about... 138 00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:06,900 - is nothing but some toe jam and peenie cheese! - [Gasps] 139 00:08:06,971 --> 00:08:09,838 Can we get away with that? 140 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:14,537 I mean, I'm really mad, Tom. I don't ever wanna hear anyone put down slavery. 141 00:08:14,612 --> 00:08:17,479 - That's right. - I mean, when you think about slavery... 142 00:08:17,548 --> 00:08:19,812 and you think about unemployment today, you ask yourself... 143 00:08:19,884 --> 00:08:22,682 "Mr. Lincoln, what were you thinkin'?" 144 00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:26,018 That's right. And if it wasn't for slavery, pal... 145 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,149 you wouldn't be in this country makin' films. 146 00:08:28,225 --> 00:08:33,162 You'd be back in Africa making some National Geographic film... 147 00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:37,667 with some native woman with her boobies swingin' all over the place. 148 00:08:37,735 --> 00:08:39,794 - Oh, gosh. The horror, Tom! - Ack! 149 00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:42,395 Could I speak? Can I talk? Can I talk? 150 00:08:42,473 --> 00:08:46,102 That might be bad, but at least I wouldn't have some white studio executive... 151 00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:48,907 tellin' me what I can do with the final cut of my film. 152 00:08:48,979 --> 00:08:53,143 Let me show you a clip of the work I did before the studio got their hands on it. 153 00:08:53,217 --> 00:08:55,777 I hate when these angry black people bring clips. 154 00:08:55,853 --> 00:08:58,321 - They're never funny. - Never funny. 155 00:08:58,389 --> 00:09:02,382 Your eyes are the thunder, and out of here I'll go... 156 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:07,863 for I too am mad, and I bid you tallyho. 157 00:09:07,932 --> 00:09:11,060 - [Snoring] - Tom? 158 00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:15,094 - We're gonna show the other... - You should've did the Spike Lee ending: "Wake up!" 159 00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:17,697 [Both Laughing] 160 00:09:17,775 --> 00:09:21,939 Well, anyway, let me show you what the studio did to that scene. 161 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,881 Yo, I's in the Thunderbird. 162 00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:28,043 Get yo' butt out here so we can go... 163 00:09:28,118 --> 00:09:31,053 'for I get mad and hit you... 164 00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:33,351 tacky ho. 165 00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:39,288 - Bravo! Bravo! - Oh, I love it! 166 00:09:39,363 --> 00:09:42,161 Man, that was wack. That's unbelievable, ain't it? Wack. 167 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:45,100 - I haven't seen work like that since... - SinceJimmy Walker... 168 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:49,469 was in that movie with, um, what's-his-name... Sidney "Portier." 169 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:54,273 - Do it again or something. - Do you remember the riveting scene with Antonio Fargas... 170 00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:57,542 kicking that prostitute up and down the street and across 110th Street? 171 00:09:57,615 --> 00:10:00,345 - That was it. - Man, you guys are wack. You guys are nothin' but... 172 00:10:00,417 --> 00:10:03,443 a bunch of Bobo-butt-kissin' bonzo brothers, man. 173 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,818 - I'm out of here. - You need a backbeat for that? 174 00:10:05,890 --> 00:10:09,257 [Imitates Percussive Backbeat] 175 00:10:09,326 --> 00:10:13,626 What do you say we butt-kissin', Bobo brothers... 176 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:16,598 do a beautiful ballad, huh? 177 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:19,431 I'm all with that. Let's go. 178 00:10:20,504 --> 00:10:23,735 - Maestro. - Our instruments, please. 179 00:10:23,807 --> 00:10:25,866 Hit it, Tom. 180 00:10:25,943 --> 00:10:28,138 ♪♪ [Folk] 181 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:31,807 ♪ Black fellas in movies should just know their place ♪ 182 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:35,374 ♪ There's plenty of good roles for people of race ♪ 183 00:10:35,452 --> 00:10:38,979 ♪ There's muggers and pushers and hookers in lace ♪ 184 00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:43,459 ♪Just tap-dance and shuffle a smile on your face ♪♪ 185 00:10:43,527 --> 00:10:46,655 - Good white, everybody! - Good white! 186 00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:49,665 ♪♪ [Percussion] 187 00:10:54,805 --> 00:10:57,399 ♪♪ [Man Singing] 188 00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:13,284 ♪♪ [Singing Continues] 189 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,421 ♪♪ [Ends] 190 00:11:24,122 --> 00:11:27,091 You know, when I was livin' in space... 191 00:11:27,158 --> 00:11:29,558 I didn't see a woman for two years... 192 00:11:29,627 --> 00:11:32,027 and yet I still maintained my sanity. 193 00:11:32,096 --> 00:11:37,864 How? By drinkin' this powdered beverage developed by NASA. 194 00:11:37,936 --> 00:11:41,872 It smells and is flavored just like a woman... 195 00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:46,138 but with half the calories and twice the protein. 196 00:11:47,812 --> 00:11:50,178 [Sighs] 197 00:11:50,248 --> 00:11:54,150 And it sure goes down easy too. 198 00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:57,347 [Sighs] 199 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,858 [Man] Now, from the makers of Orange-gina and Nastea... 200 00:12:04,929 --> 00:12:07,898 comes the new powdered drink, Minute Maiden... 201 00:12:07,966 --> 00:12:10,594 already in use in prisons throughout America. 202 00:12:10,668 --> 00:12:13,102 Take a look at how these hardened convicts respond. 203 00:12:13,171 --> 00:12:16,106 First, without a steady diet of Minute Maiden. 204 00:12:18,509 --> 00:12:23,276 Now these same prisoners after a nutritionally balanced breakfast plus Minute Maiden. 205 00:12:27,385 --> 00:12:30,752 Reminds you of a woman, but made for a man. 206 00:12:32,323 --> 00:12:35,451 I like it too. 207 00:12:35,526 --> 00:12:39,895 There's also a new powdered drink that's flavoredjust like a fella: Minute Man. 208 00:12:39,964 --> 00:12:42,432 Drink it at night, and it will still be there in the morning. 209 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,264 And best of all, it's 100% safe. 210 00:12:46,371 --> 00:12:48,805 I know they call it Minute Maiden... 211 00:12:48,873 --> 00:12:52,604 but it sure seems like Shaniqua to me. 212 00:12:56,114 --> 00:13:01,279 Okay. Who's the prankster that gave me the wrong flavor? 213 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,255 ♪ Oh, beautiful ♪ 214 00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:09,425 ♪ For spacious skies ♪ 215 00:13:09,494 --> 00:13:11,485 [Man] Minute Maiden and Minute Man: 216 00:13:11,562 --> 00:13:14,861 Perhaps the next best thing to being there. 217 00:13:24,709 --> 00:13:26,734 Greetings, American homeowners. 218 00:13:26,811 --> 00:13:29,302 I am Itaho, master ninja warrior... 219 00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:32,372 and founder of number-one home-protection device: 220 00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:36,318 Silent But Deadly American Ninja Home Security System. 221 00:13:36,387 --> 00:13:41,051 It only security system that work silently, with no noisy alarms... 222 00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:43,491 or electric eye-beams to set. 223 00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:48,157 That because Silent But Deadly relies on the ancient ninja art of surprise. 224 00:13:48,232 --> 00:13:50,564 Watch. 225 00:13:52,036 --> 00:13:53,799 [Grunts] 226 00:13:53,871 --> 00:13:56,897 [Air Whooshing] 227 00:13:56,974 --> 00:14:01,934 Hey, why don't you stick around? 228 00:14:02,013 --> 00:14:05,574 [Snickers Softly] Hey, you like family jewels? 229 00:14:10,421 --> 00:14:13,083 Apparently not. 230 00:14:20,865 --> 00:14:23,732 [Ninja] Sure hope he likes the sushi.! 231 00:14:27,472 --> 00:14:29,463 [Blows] 232 00:14:31,142 --> 00:14:33,201 Oops! 233 00:14:33,277 --> 00:14:35,370 That was owner of house. 234 00:14:35,446 --> 00:14:40,543 Don't worry. He'll be okay. I only use knockout poison. 235 00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:43,314 You see, I told you. You get good night's sleep... 236 00:14:43,388 --> 00:14:47,051 one way or another with the Ninja Security System. 237 00:14:47,125 --> 00:14:50,856 So call me, Itaho, at 1-800-Banzai... 238 00:14:50,928 --> 00:14:53,055 and order Silent But Deadly Security System... 239 00:14:53,131 --> 00:14:56,191 for your home today, or I will kill myself! 240 00:14:56,267 --> 00:15:00,328 Just kidding. 'Kay, you finished with that? 241 00:15:07,445 --> 00:15:12,314 Hey there, little boy. I said, "Hey there, little boy." 242 00:15:12,383 --> 00:15:17,650 Well, you may be ignoring me now, but I'm taking steroids. 243 00:15:21,559 --> 00:15:24,392 And steroids make my body balloon up... 244 00:15:24,462 --> 00:15:27,590 and they also give me the strength of 20 men. 245 00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,902 So while you may choose to ignore me now... 246 00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:43,636 [Growling] pretty soon I'll be so pumped up and bloated... 247 00:15:43,714 --> 00:15:46,877 you'll have no choice but to pay attention to me. 248 00:15:46,951 --> 00:15:51,752 Come here, stud pants! Let's play missile silo. 249 00:15:51,823 --> 00:15:55,589 Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... 250 00:15:58,596 --> 00:16:03,260 After a while, the steroids will begin to affect my body's inner mechanisms. 251 00:16:03,334 --> 00:16:06,770 My ovaries will shrink to the size of tiny raisins... 252 00:16:06,838 --> 00:16:09,068 and I'll also have kidney failure. 253 00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:13,474 Then, pretty soon, I'll be doing public service announcements against steroids. 254 00:16:13,544 --> 00:16:17,105 Then I really start to deteriorate. 255 00:16:17,181 --> 00:16:19,547 [Growling] 256 00:16:19,617 --> 00:16:22,313 [Shrieking] 257 00:16:27,124 --> 00:16:31,026 [Shrieking Fades, Stops] 258 00:16:33,531 --> 00:16:39,094 But that whole "body falling apart" thing, that's still a good five or six years away. 259 00:16:39,170 --> 00:16:42,139 In the meantime, Vera says... 260 00:16:42,206 --> 00:16:46,040 "Live fast, die young and pretty." 261 00:16:46,110 --> 00:16:48,977 [Whinnies] 262 00:16:52,283 --> 00:16:56,617 [Man] Steroids: Live fast, die young and pretty. 263 00:16:57,622 --> 00:17:01,217 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 264 00:17:30,655 --> 00:17:34,523 Mom! Dad! Is anybody home? 265 00:17:34,592 --> 00:17:38,460 [Man] Macaulay Culkin's at it again, but this time... 266 00:17:38,529 --> 00:17:41,965 - Hey, Macaulay, can I come in and play? - [Screams] 267 00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:44,866 [Man] He's home alone again with Michael Jackson. 268 00:17:44,936 --> 00:17:49,669 Gee, Michael, I'd like to let you in, but my parents said I couldn't have anyone over. 269 00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:53,836 I sent your parents to the Bahamas. We've got the whole house to ourselves. 270 00:17:53,911 --> 00:17:58,211 Well, I'm a big star now. What happens if my career falls apart? 271 00:17:58,282 --> 00:18:01,547 - You gonna dump me like Webster? - No, P.Y.T. 272 00:18:01,619 --> 00:18:06,318 We can be friends forever. I'll even let you play with one of my old noses. 273 00:18:06,390 --> 00:18:09,416 Sure. Okay. 274 00:18:11,696 --> 00:18:14,529 You can come in, I guess. 275 00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:19,336 - [Sizzling] - Ow! 276 00:18:21,138 --> 00:18:25,097 - Yes! - Hee-hee! Ow! 277 00:18:27,778 --> 00:18:31,839 Let me in. I've got some naked pictures of my sister. 278 00:18:31,916 --> 00:18:35,408 Who doesn't? Why don't you just beat it, Michael? 279 00:18:35,486 --> 00:18:38,785 Hey, that sounds like a great idea, Macaulay. 280 00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:41,984 - [Gunshot] - Hee-hoo! 281 00:18:42,059 --> 00:18:45,426 ♪ I'm hurt bad I'm hurt bad ♪ 282 00:18:45,496 --> 00:18:47,828 ♪ Hurt bad Hurt bad ♪ 283 00:18:47,898 --> 00:18:51,857 - Yes! - ♪ Hee-hee, ooh-hoo ♪ 284 00:18:51,936 --> 00:18:56,373 Come on, Macaulay. Open up. I'll let you play with my monkey. 285 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,466 Or better yet, we can blow bubbles. 286 00:19:00,911 --> 00:19:05,871 Okay, Michael. If you really want to, come on in. 287 00:19:10,121 --> 00:19:14,182 ♪ Eeh-hee Eeh-hee-hee ♪ 288 00:19:14,258 --> 00:19:17,819 - Yes! - ♪ Eeh-hee ♪ 289 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:20,625 What is this? A Pepsi commercial? 290 00:19:20,698 --> 00:19:23,667 I know. Let's play at my house. 291 00:19:23,734 --> 00:19:27,693 I'll let you play with the Elephant Man. We can take a nap in my oxygen chamber. 292 00:19:27,772 --> 00:19:31,139 Come on. Please. I wanna see you moon-walk. 293 00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:33,768 [Screaming] 294 00:19:34,779 --> 00:19:37,441 ♪ Please, please, please ♪ 295 00:19:37,515 --> 00:19:40,416 [Man] Home Alone Again... coming this holiday season... 296 00:19:40,484 --> 00:19:43,385 to a theater near you. 297 00:19:47,058 --> 00:19:49,959 Yo, these brothers I'm about to bring to the stage... Where they from, Twist? 298 00:19:50,027 --> 00:19:51,961 The boogie-down Bronx, my hometown. 299 00:19:52,029 --> 00:19:56,466 - The DefJam recording artists are not only nice, but they... - But smooth. 300 00:19:56,534 --> 00:19:59,230 So let's give it up for Nice & Smooth! 301 00:19:59,303 --> 00:20:03,535 Oh, yeah.! What's up, y'all? Hello. 302 00:20:03,607 --> 00:20:07,737 Come on. Oh, yeah. Come on. 303 00:20:07,812 --> 00:20:10,804 - Come on. Come on. Come on. - ♪♪ [Man Rapping] 304 00:20:10,881 --> 00:20:13,509 Come on. Come on. 305 00:20:18,255 --> 00:20:20,314 ♪♪ [Man Rapping] 306 00:20:57,394 --> 00:21:00,022 ♪♪ [Continues] 307 00:21:16,147 --> 00:21:18,672 [Audience Cheers] 308 00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:28,685 ♪♪ [Both Singing] 309 00:22:19,977 --> 00:22:23,606 ♪♪ [Continues] 310 00:22:33,224 --> 00:22:36,057 Nice & Smooth, '91, "Hip-HopJunkies." DefJam, Columbia. We out. 311 00:22:36,126 --> 00:22:40,790 - We love y'all! - Oh, yeah! 312 00:22:40,865 --> 00:22:44,301 - ♪♪ [Rapping Ends] - [Audience Cheers] 313 00:22:44,368 --> 00:22:48,464 [Grunts] Send me to the bridge. 314 00:22:48,539 --> 00:22:50,905 Yeah.! 27821

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