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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,053 --> 00:00:05,511 Hi. I'm the Reverend JesseJackson. 2 00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:08,423 As children, many of us learn to read... 3 00:00:08,493 --> 00:00:10,620 through the collection of Dr. Seuss books. 4 00:00:10,695 --> 00:00:13,163 Stories like The Cat in the Hat... 5 00:00:13,231 --> 00:00:16,200 Horton Hears a Who, Hop on Pop... 6 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:19,964 Green Eggs and Ham and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. 7 00:00:20,038 --> 00:00:22,802 They were all fine for little white children. 8 00:00:22,874 --> 00:00:25,069 But the young black inner-city child... 9 00:00:25,143 --> 00:00:28,544 has never had a book upon which he could look... 10 00:00:28,613 --> 00:00:31,104 and find someone of his kind. 11 00:00:31,182 --> 00:00:33,582 La da dee, la da da. La da dee, la da da. 12 00:00:35,486 --> 00:00:38,717 That is why I am offering these. 13 00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:41,156 JesseJackson's Children's Books. 14 00:00:41,225 --> 00:00:44,490 For just 49.95, you'll get stories from the street. 15 00:00:44,562 --> 00:00:47,360 Stories like Horton Hears a Ho. 16 00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,595 "I know there's a ho who's down there. 17 00:00:52,670 --> 00:00:57,300 "And what's more, I'm sure there's two or three or even four. 18 00:00:57,375 --> 00:01:00,173 "A whole family of hos that hos to survive. 19 00:01:00,244 --> 00:01:03,145 Don't be like a ho. Keep hope alive." 20 00:01:06,551 --> 00:01:08,746 Your children will have hours of fun... 21 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:11,220 as they learn important stories about life. 22 00:01:11,289 --> 00:01:13,382 Other books in the collection are: 23 00:01:13,458 --> 00:01:15,392 The Crackhead in the Hat. 24 00:01:16,461 --> 00:01:19,089 The Grinch Who Stole My Stereo. 25 00:01:20,665 --> 00:01:23,225 Hop on Cop. 26 00:01:23,301 --> 00:01:26,532 And my personal favorite, Green Eggs and Gubment Cheese. 27 00:01:30,274 --> 00:01:33,300 "I will not eat green eggs and gubment cheese. 28 00:01:33,378 --> 00:01:36,609 "I will not eat it because it makes me wheeze. 29 00:01:36,681 --> 00:01:39,479 "I will not eat green eggs and gubment cheese. 30 00:01:39,550 --> 00:01:42,178 Because it keeps me from going to the toilet with ease." 31 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,216 [Announcer] To order JesseJackson's Children's Books... 32 00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:48,758 send 49.95 to... 33 00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:59,267 Order now. 34 00:01:59,337 --> 00:02:00,326 - How you livin'? - What? 35 00:02:00,405 --> 00:02:01,497 - How you livin'? - What? 36 00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:03,699 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 37 00:02:06,144 --> 00:02:10,274 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 38 00:02:10,348 --> 00:02:14,614 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 39 00:02:14,685 --> 00:02:18,485 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 40 00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:22,822 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 41 00:02:22,894 --> 00:02:25,522 - ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 42 00:02:25,596 --> 00:02:27,757 - ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 43 00:02:27,832 --> 00:02:30,300 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 44 00:02:30,368 --> 00:02:31,892 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 45 00:02:31,969 --> 00:02:34,096 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 46 00:02:34,172 --> 00:02:36,140 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 47 00:02:36,207 --> 00:02:38,232 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 48 00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:40,402 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 49 00:02:40,478 --> 00:02:42,673 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 50 00:02:42,747 --> 00:02:44,715 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 51 00:02:44,782 --> 00:02:47,080 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 52 00:02:47,151 --> 00:02:48,516 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 53 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,520 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 54 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:53,386 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 55 00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:55,483 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 56 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,926 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 57 00:02:57,995 --> 00:03:02,432 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 58 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:07,437 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 59 00:03:07,505 --> 00:03:11,737 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 60 00:03:11,809 --> 00:03:13,037 ♪ Go, go, go ♪ 61 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,907 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 62 00:03:22,153 --> 00:03:26,817 The food here looks great. I just hope the service matches up. 63 00:03:26,891 --> 00:03:29,758 Hey, mon! 64 00:03:29,827 --> 00:03:32,921 [Announcer] It's time once again for the wacky antics... 65 00:03:32,997 --> 00:03:36,728 of America's hardest working West Indian family, the Hedleys. 66 00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:40,601 All right, you good people, here's your meal. 67 00:03:40,671 --> 00:03:42,662 We got your main dish... 68 00:03:42,740 --> 00:03:46,176 your side dish, your radish on a dirty dish. 69 00:03:46,244 --> 00:03:51,238 And your album Bangla-dish. And from newly released on tape, Soapdish. 70 00:03:53,251 --> 00:03:56,448 - Where is my lazy boy, Byron? Byron, get out here, boy! - [Dishes Clatter] 71 00:03:56,521 --> 00:03:59,718 Pop, hold your gnarly things. 72 00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:04,951 Now I'm the coat-check boy, the car-park boy... 73 00:04:05,029 --> 00:04:07,964 the boy in the hood, Chef Boyardee, the busboy... 74 00:04:08,032 --> 00:04:10,523 and I just got off the bus with Buster Douglas. 75 00:04:10,601 --> 00:04:14,628 Well, you better bust a move and see what these people are having for dessert. 76 00:04:14,705 --> 00:04:16,468 Oh, I think I'll just have some fruit. 77 00:04:16,541 --> 00:04:19,408 We don't have no fruit here, you pasty rice cake. 78 00:04:19,477 --> 00:04:21,411 I do. 79 00:04:21,479 --> 00:04:26,712 Hey, mon, what do you think you're doing, Bruce Lee, selling fruit to my customers here? 80 00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:29,218 I no mon, I Wan. I Sam Wan. 81 00:04:29,287 --> 00:04:32,256 Own Wan Family Korean Fruit Stand. 82 00:04:32,323 --> 00:04:36,020 This'a wife, Annie Wan. This our son, No Wan. 83 00:04:36,093 --> 00:04:39,187 This our dog, Obi Wan. 84 00:04:39,263 --> 00:04:43,290 Look at that ugly, little mangy dog. What kind of lazy dog is that? 85 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:47,098 Dog is watchdog, Seeing Eye dog, mouse dog... 86 00:04:47,171 --> 00:04:52,040 and when dog get old, he meat on stick. 87 00:04:52,109 --> 00:04:54,441 He work'a hard. We all work'a hard. 88 00:04:54,512 --> 00:04:56,446 We hardest working family ever. 89 00:04:56,514 --> 00:04:58,846 Don't ever say that around here. We the hardest working family. 90 00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:01,407 And don't be selling no fruit to my customers. 91 00:05:01,485 --> 00:05:04,113 Sure, I sell the fruit. It's a free country. 92 00:05:04,188 --> 00:05:07,521 It's a free sidewalk. Free Nelson Mandela. 93 00:05:07,592 --> 00:05:10,356 He already free, mon. 94 00:05:10,428 --> 00:05:12,828 See? It's all working out great. 95 00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:16,560 Where my baby-maker Hilda? Hilda, get out here, woman. 96 00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:19,728 Hey, mon. 97 00:05:19,804 --> 00:05:22,102 What you be calling me out here for, Godfrey? 98 00:05:22,173 --> 00:05:24,869 You know I got many, many things to be doing. I got to be the waitress... 99 00:05:24,942 --> 00:05:27,775 his mistress, the hostess with the mostess, the maître d'... 100 00:05:27,845 --> 00:05:31,372 I serve the tea and look at me, I'm Heavy D. 101 00:05:31,449 --> 00:05:33,383 You stop'a rappin' and look it here. 102 00:05:33,451 --> 00:05:35,942 We got a man over there selling fruit to our customers. 103 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:40,514 Too bad for you, smokey-head, hemp-toking Rasta people. 104 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:43,025 Wan sell'a vegetable, dairy product... 105 00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:46,086 small electrical appliance and novelty item. 106 00:05:46,163 --> 00:05:49,394 Got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle T-shirt. 107 00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:52,834 Wash it twice, you got'a Mutant Turtle hand puppet. 108 00:05:52,903 --> 00:05:55,098 Good deal at the lowest price. 109 00:05:55,172 --> 00:05:57,868 Wan family also have one-dollar battery pack. 110 00:05:57,942 --> 00:06:01,503 Look at that, mon. That's a cheap battery. It wouldn't last a half hour. 111 00:06:01,579 --> 00:06:06,107 Half hour too long to listen to music. Time to get back to work. 112 00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:08,981 Hello. Good to see you. 113 00:06:09,053 --> 00:06:12,716 It's a nice day to buy flower at the lowest price, no? 114 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:15,691 Hold on right there now. I'm gonna tell you something. 115 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:19,127 The Hedleys sell the freshest flowers at the lowest price around here. 116 00:06:19,196 --> 00:06:21,630 We sell day-old flower. 117 00:06:21,699 --> 00:06:23,667 Whole bunch, five dollar. 118 00:06:23,734 --> 00:06:27,226 We sell three-day-old flower, two-dollar for a bunch. 119 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,670 I got week-old flower. 120 00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:32,538 - Two bunch, dollar. - Aha. 121 00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:36,102 We got you there. Every customer leave our restaurant... 122 00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:39,115 with a basket of old, dead, dry leaves, absolutely free. 123 00:06:39,183 --> 00:06:42,550 Look, Yoko Ono, I don't want your flowers. 124 00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:44,781 All I want is some coffee to go. 125 00:06:44,855 --> 00:06:47,585 I sell a hot steaming cup of coffee, 50 cents. 126 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:53,290 Hilda, get that man a fresh cup of the finestJamaican bean, only 48 cents. 127 00:06:53,364 --> 00:06:56,663 - Best'a coffee in the world come directly from my brother. - Who that? 128 00:06:56,734 --> 00:07:00,670 He one Wan you haven't met... Wan Valdez. 129 00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:09,338 Mon, they went a long way for a joke, don't you think? 130 00:07:09,413 --> 00:07:11,973 - I think so. - I think so, mon. 131 00:07:12,049 --> 00:07:15,212 Well, this family here not gonna be outworked by that family. 132 00:07:15,286 --> 00:07:18,449 Nobody outwork the Hedley. If they gonna be open 24 hour... 133 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,514 - we gonna open 25. - How you gonna do that, mon? 134 00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:23,651 I don't know, but we gonna work on it. 135 00:07:23,728 --> 00:07:25,787 [Together] Hey, mon, got to get to work. 136 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:31,562 [Announcer]Join us again for another episode of Hey, Mon, with the Hedleys... 137 00:07:31,635 --> 00:07:34,229 the second-hardest working family in America. 138 00:07:34,305 --> 00:07:37,365 ♪♪ [Reggae] 139 00:07:37,441 --> 00:07:40,103 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 140 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:15,568 ♪♪ [Hawaiian] 141 00:08:15,646 --> 00:08:18,672 Oh, Lyle, Hawaii would be great for our honeymoon. 142 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:22,241 Yeah, baby, but it's too expensive. We can have a real good time in Inglewood. 143 00:08:22,319 --> 00:08:25,015 - Inglewood? - Yeah, you know, 'cause all we gonna be doing is... 144 00:08:25,089 --> 00:08:26,750 Lyle! 145 00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:29,156 Did I hear someone say "knocking boots"? 146 00:08:35,332 --> 00:08:37,823 Got a honeymoon suite with your name on it, my brother. 147 00:08:37,902 --> 00:08:41,338 And the price is "ri-zite," because... 148 00:08:41,405 --> 00:08:43,669 [Both] Budget vacations are us. 149 00:08:43,741 --> 00:08:46,369 Let me do a quick intro. My name's Clavell. 150 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:49,105 - And I'm Howard Tibbs III. - And we are... 151 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,239 [Both] Funky Finger Productions. 152 00:08:51,315 --> 00:08:53,249 Bringing you a little something to make you go... 153 00:08:53,317 --> 00:08:55,945 - [Both] Hmm. - You know, Arsenio stole that from me? 154 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,954 - Say what? - Damn skippy. 155 00:08:58,022 --> 00:09:02,618 Now, I know Billy Crystal did that little home on the range, City Slicker kinda thing. 156 00:09:02,693 --> 00:09:06,254 - Is Billy in town? 'Cause you know he hasn't called me. - What? 157 00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:09,060 Look, I don't wanna spend my honeymoon with some cows. 158 00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:12,034 - Yeah, man, we ain't interested. - Well, whoa, nellie, partner. 159 00:09:12,102 --> 00:09:15,367 You don't have to be interested, brother. All you have to do is just buy. 160 00:09:15,439 --> 00:09:20,206 Now, for the nominal fee of, uh, 62.95... 161 00:09:20,277 --> 00:09:24,008 You and the lovely bridette can spend two fun-filled days at Round Rump Ranch. 162 00:09:24,081 --> 00:09:27,175 - Yeah! - [Neighing Like A Horse] 163 00:09:27,251 --> 00:09:29,913 [Sputtering] Now look here, home-cookin'. 164 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:35,584 That price includes a cabin right on the shores of Boodie Bay. 165 00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:37,559 Boodie Bay? Isn't that a landfill? 166 00:09:37,628 --> 00:09:41,587 Well, it may stink all to be damned, but the scenery is smokin'. 167 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,599 Honey, let's go. A'ight? 168 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,999 Uh, oh, Howie, they're looking like they're trying to hit the old dusty trail. 169 00:09:46,070 --> 00:09:48,163 Uh, better pull out the heavy ammo. 170 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:50,173 Just give 'em a taste. Got to pay for the rest. 171 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:52,641 [Laughing] 172 00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:55,941 [Imitating Guitar] 173 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:59,210 Bam! 174 00:09:59,283 --> 00:10:01,751 Now, I promised Delroy and them from the Gap Band... 175 00:10:01,819 --> 00:10:04,117 - that I'd thank them for the use of the threads. - Charlie too. 176 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,816 - Thanks, y'all. - Just yell action. I'll sell the rest. 177 00:10:06,891 --> 00:10:09,655 You know, we're just scallywaggin' and lollygaggin'. Here we go. 178 00:10:09,727 --> 00:10:12,059 "A ccionay." Put the quarter in, homey. 179 00:10:12,129 --> 00:10:14,324 Bow-wow-wow, yippee-yo, yippee-yay. What a vacation. 180 00:10:14,398 --> 00:10:16,593 You're gettin'wild. Uh-oh, I see we got some buffalo. 181 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:19,636 - Oh, shuffle off to Buffalo. [Laughs] - And a little filly too. 182 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:23,002 Oh, shucks, time to rope me a filly. 183 00:10:23,073 --> 00:10:26,509 - Whoa, baby. Now, hey, don't get too... - Ride 'em, cowboy. 184 00:10:26,577 --> 00:10:29,341 Oh, my goodness. Lord have mercy. 185 00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:31,347 You know, I had a dream about us, baby. 186 00:10:31,415 --> 00:10:34,009 I was in heaven, and we were both butt naked. 187 00:10:35,653 --> 00:10:38,713 Even sisters be trippin' on the straight up. 188 00:10:38,789 --> 00:10:40,814 - You all right, homey? - I think she done went buck wild. 189 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,382 Hold up. Let me get a picture. 190 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:45,394 - I'll meet you at the stop sign. - We outta control here. 191 00:10:45,462 --> 00:10:48,431 - Hold on. Hold on! - Bam! 192 00:10:48,499 --> 00:10:50,433 This is ridiculous. Honey. 193 00:10:50,501 --> 00:10:52,969 Uh-oh, sounds like their engagement done throwed a heel. 194 00:10:53,037 --> 00:10:55,164 Well, let's at least give you a brochure. 195 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,174 You know, I'm fresh out. Howard. 196 00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:00,233 Comin' outta the gate, Clavy. 197 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,279 Ride 'em, cowboy. 198 00:11:02,346 --> 00:11:05,213 - Here he comes. - [Yelling] 199 00:11:05,282 --> 00:11:08,513 [Laughing] You all right? 200 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,645 I'm cool, man. Bam! 201 00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:16,521 - Hey, man, that's a blank piece of paper. - Man, why don't you just chill? 202 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:19,391 That's where we're gonna put the pictures when we get 'em back from the Fotomat. 203 00:11:19,463 --> 00:11:22,091 Uh, let's get outta here. You know, honey, Inglewood sounds real good. 204 00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:24,634 - Hey. Hey, man, I will bust a cap in your... - Don't... Don't... 205 00:11:24,702 --> 00:11:27,364 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, didn't he say Inglewood? 206 00:11:27,438 --> 00:11:29,406 - Yeah. - Yeah, don't we have a two-day thing... 207 00:11:29,473 --> 00:11:31,941 - going with my cousin Boodrow? - Yeah, I remember that. 208 00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:34,102 Don't Arsenio Hall look like that dude? What's his name? 209 00:11:34,178 --> 00:11:36,476 Uh, Meshach Taylor, but with much more booty. 210 00:11:36,547 --> 00:11:39,880 ♪♪ [Hawaiian] 211 00:11:41,318 --> 00:11:43,650 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 212 00:12:15,049 --> 00:12:18,382 [Ship's Horn Blares] 213 00:12:18,453 --> 00:12:20,546 ♪♪ [Reggae] 214 00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:24,349 Honey, do you smell something burning? 215 00:12:24,425 --> 00:12:26,484 Hmm, it smells like bacon. 216 00:12:26,561 --> 00:12:28,495 - Oh, my God, John, look! - [Sizzling] 217 00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:32,832 - Mister, are you okay? - Who me? 218 00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:35,870 [Laughs] Never better. 219 00:12:35,937 --> 00:12:38,565 Just trying to take advantage of that hole in the ozone. 220 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,665 Put some color in my cheeks. 221 00:12:40,742 --> 00:12:42,937 You're burned! 222 00:12:43,011 --> 00:12:45,479 Well, that's nice of you to notice. 223 00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:48,948 Fire Marshal Bill Burns. Nice to meet ya. This is my wife, Ashley. 224 00:12:49,017 --> 00:12:51,281 How you folks doing? 225 00:12:51,352 --> 00:12:54,048 Say, uh, Bill, you wanna get my back? 226 00:12:54,122 --> 00:12:57,523 Anything for you, my little charcoal briquette. 227 00:12:57,592 --> 00:12:59,992 Ah, there you go. 228 00:13:00,061 --> 00:13:03,030 She loves this new nonstick formula. 229 00:13:04,666 --> 00:13:10,036 Well, I think I'll give this little tug a looky-loo. 230 00:13:10,104 --> 00:13:14,404 - Check for safety violations. - Oh, but, Bill, it's our vacation. 231 00:13:14,475 --> 00:13:18,036 Baby, disaster has a real good travel agent. 232 00:13:20,882 --> 00:13:23,976 See ya. Uh, Bill. Have you got a light? 233 00:13:25,219 --> 00:13:27,449 Coming right up, hot stuff. 234 00:13:33,094 --> 00:13:37,053 Put another shrimp on the barbie, baby. 235 00:13:40,068 --> 00:13:42,935 Say there, son, did you know that deep-sea fishing... 236 00:13:43,004 --> 00:13:45,666 is the number one cause of cruise ship casualties? 237 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,765 Let me show you something. 238 00:13:47,842 --> 00:13:49,776 Let's just say there's a shark warning... 239 00:13:49,844 --> 00:13:52,836 and you've just taken a bath in a bucketful of fish guts. 240 00:13:54,916 --> 00:13:56,884 A typhoon hits the boat. 241 00:13:56,951 --> 00:14:00,512 You're knocked over the side. Before you know it, feeding frenzy! 242 00:14:02,156 --> 00:14:04,351 Fire Marshal Bill, it's a great white! 243 00:14:04,425 --> 00:14:07,656 - [Shark Roars] - So it is. 244 00:14:07,729 --> 00:14:10,197 Fire Marshal Bill! 245 00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:14,131 You got him, Fire Marshal Bill! 246 00:14:15,570 --> 00:14:18,937 Cheer up, son. We got ourselves a trophy fish. 247 00:14:19,007 --> 00:14:23,034 - Doesn't it hurt? - Are you foolin'? 248 00:14:23,111 --> 00:14:25,238 - Hold this, lady. - [Woman Screams] 249 00:14:25,313 --> 00:14:28,009 My body is completely numb. I haven't felt pain... 250 00:14:28,082 --> 00:14:32,644 since I stopped that lava flow at Mount Pinatubo... with my face! 251 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:36,451 Excuse me, son. Hey, hold it right there, grandma. 252 00:14:39,293 --> 00:14:41,784 Just what the heck do you think you're doing? 253 00:14:41,863 --> 00:14:44,297 [Chuckles] I'm just having a drink. 254 00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:46,356 Well, you better be extra careful. 255 00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:48,994 Drinkin' on the deck of a cruise ship can be fun... 256 00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:53,700 but it can also be very, very d-deadly. 257 00:14:53,775 --> 00:14:56,676 Say you've got your piña colada in one hand... 258 00:14:56,744 --> 00:15:00,009 and a beakerful of hydrochloric acid in the other. 259 00:15:00,081 --> 00:15:02,015 You're strolling on the upper deck. 260 00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:04,244 Somebody says, " Hey, look, Captain Stubing's pukin' over the side." 261 00:15:04,318 --> 00:15:06,252 You forget which is which... 262 00:15:10,591 --> 00:15:13,992 [Yelling] 263 00:15:15,463 --> 00:15:18,864 [Screaming] 264 00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:21,868 [Snorting] 265 00:15:21,936 --> 00:15:23,836 Are you all right? 266 00:15:23,905 --> 00:15:26,738 [Yells] 267 00:15:30,411 --> 00:15:32,572 Well, I won't be singing with Domingo. 268 00:15:32,647 --> 00:15:35,741 Thank you, Fire Marshal Bill. 269 00:15:35,817 --> 00:15:38,308 You never can be too careful, ma'am. 270 00:15:38,386 --> 00:15:41,184 Why don't you stick around for my next demonstration? 271 00:15:43,458 --> 00:15:45,483 Attention! Attention! 272 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,824 Can I have your attention? 273 00:15:47,895 --> 00:15:51,228 This next safety tip could prevent imminent disaster. 274 00:15:51,299 --> 00:15:53,529 Now, just for the sake of argument... 275 00:15:53,601 --> 00:15:55,728 let's say they saved Hitler's brain. 276 00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:59,295 And he's masterminded a plot to blow this ship to kingdom come. 277 00:15:59,373 --> 00:16:01,398 You're having a birthday party on the boat. 278 00:16:01,476 --> 00:16:06,140 One of Hitler's Nazi bakers hands you a birthday cake made out of plastic explosives. 279 00:16:08,082 --> 00:16:10,277 Quick, into the lifeboats! The ship's gonna blow! 280 00:16:10,351 --> 00:16:12,842 Everybody, remain calm. 281 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,252 I am a fire marshal. 282 00:16:15,323 --> 00:16:18,918 First, you extinguish the fuse like so. 283 00:16:21,162 --> 00:16:25,826 Then you merely dispose of your explosive little friend in the nearest trash receptacle. 284 00:16:29,137 --> 00:16:33,335 You idiot, that's not a trash receptacle. 285 00:16:33,407 --> 00:16:36,934 Okay, smart guy. [Laughs] 286 00:16:37,011 --> 00:16:38,945 Where does it lead to then? 287 00:16:39,013 --> 00:16:42,073 - The engine room! - Oops. 288 00:16:47,355 --> 00:16:50,518 [Ship's Horn Blares] 289 00:16:50,591 --> 00:16:54,152 [Water Sloshing] 290 00:16:54,228 --> 00:16:56,162 [Sighs] 291 00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:02,762 Sometimes I think I'm just wasting my breath. 292 00:17:02,837 --> 00:17:05,806 Look, a ship! We're saved! 293 00:17:05,873 --> 00:17:07,898 Hold it right there, son! 294 00:17:07,975 --> 00:17:10,205 Is that a flare gun you got there? 295 00:17:10,278 --> 00:17:13,441 These things can be extremely dangerous. 296 00:17:13,514 --> 00:17:16,176 Especially in a lifeboat filled with gasoline. 297 00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:19,117 - Ashley. - Gotcha, Bill. 298 00:17:19,187 --> 00:17:21,917 Let me show you something! 299 00:17:25,493 --> 00:17:27,061 Straight from chill city, Uniondale. 300 00:17:27,061 --> 00:17:29,427 Straight from chill city, Uniondale. 301 00:17:29,497 --> 00:17:32,989 Strong Island. Put your hands together for Leaders of the New School... 302 00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:35,501 singing "Teachers, Teach Us." Peace. 303 00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:43,174 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 304 00:17:43,244 --> 00:17:45,439 ♪♪ [Rap] 305 00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:05,425 ♪♪ [Rap Continues] 306 00:18:31,325 --> 00:18:33,452 ♪♪ [Rap Continues] 307 00:18:57,451 --> 00:19:00,887 ♪♪ [Rap Continues] 308 00:19:19,774 --> 00:19:22,368 ♪♪ [Rap Continues] 309 00:20:11,892 --> 00:20:13,985 ♪♪ [Rap Continues] 310 00:20:32,313 --> 00:20:35,840 ♪♪ [Rap Continues] 311 00:21:17,191 --> 00:21:20,627 ♪♪ [Ends] 26359

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