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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:04,750 - [No Audible Dialogue] - [Clears Throat] 2 00:00:04,822 --> 00:00:07,985 We have a very full agenda today. Let's get started. 3 00:00:08,059 --> 00:00:10,050 - Justice Thomas, take your seat, please. - Uh, sure. 4 00:00:10,128 --> 00:00:14,326 Just call me Clarence. Just makin' sure everybody had a hot cup of coffee. 5 00:00:14,399 --> 00:00:16,333 Just wanna make sure everyone's happy. 6 00:00:16,401 --> 00:00:19,461 You know me. Nothin' wrong with kissin' a little butt. 7 00:00:19,537 --> 00:00:21,471 Thank you, Justice. 8 00:00:21,539 --> 00:00:25,100 Okay. Our first case is the State of Washington versus... 9 00:00:25,176 --> 00:00:27,110 Kareem Johnson... discrimination. 10 00:00:27,178 --> 00:00:28,668 - Nay. - Nay. 11 00:00:28,746 --> 00:00:30,680 Double nay. 12 00:00:30,748 --> 00:00:34,343 Don't you even want to discuss the case, Justice Thomas? 13 00:00:34,419 --> 00:00:36,353 Oh, come on. The guy's a whiner. 14 00:00:36,421 --> 00:00:38,912 You let one black guy complain about discrimination... 15 00:00:38,990 --> 00:00:40,924 and the next thing you know you have the... [Scoffing] 16 00:00:40,992 --> 00:00:45,292 State of Washington v. Kool & The Gang. [Laughing] 17 00:00:45,363 --> 00:00:48,230 Let 'em get a job the old-fashioned way. Let 'em earn it. 18 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:50,233 Uh, you want another bran muffin? 19 00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:52,963 - I could use some more coffee, Clarence. - Sure thing. 20 00:00:53,037 --> 00:00:57,098 Okay. Let's move on to the case of Springfield Police Department versus... 21 00:00:57,175 --> 00:00:59,109 Hector Rodriguez Gonzales. 22 00:00:59,177 --> 00:01:01,111 - [Clearing Throat] - Justice Thomas. 23 00:01:01,179 --> 00:01:04,012 Uh, me? Uh, well, uh... 24 00:01:04,082 --> 00:01:06,312 how are the rest of you guys gonna vote? 25 00:01:06,384 --> 00:01:09,012 - I'm voting for the police department. - Oh, yeah. Right, right. 26 00:01:09,087 --> 00:01:12,454 Yeah, the police department. I mean, come on. They fired four warning shots. 27 00:01:12,523 --> 00:01:14,923 Unfortunately, three of them hit the guy. 28 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:20,123 But, hey, if you're gonna jaywalk in front of Winchell's, don't come cryin' to us. 29 00:01:20,198 --> 00:01:24,999 I say, uh, whatever the rest of you guys say. 30 00:01:25,069 --> 00:01:29,506 Justice Thomas, I realize this is your first day... 31 00:01:29,574 --> 00:01:31,872 but you've got to relax. 32 00:01:31,943 --> 00:01:35,037 Take it easy. You're going to be here for the rest of your life. 33 00:01:35,113 --> 00:01:39,049 Uh, wait a minute. Um, I have this job for the rest of my life? 34 00:01:39,117 --> 00:01:42,644 You're just like Daryl Gates. They can't get rid of you. 35 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,654 So-So-So... 36 00:01:46,724 --> 00:01:48,783 So, let me get this straight. 37 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:52,921 No matter what I do, no matter who I piss off, I'm here to stay? 38 00:01:52,997 --> 00:01:56,057 - More or less, yes. - Oh, man! 39 00:02:00,138 --> 00:02:02,800 - Justice Thomas! - I'd love a refill on my coffee. 40 00:02:02,874 --> 00:02:04,808 Yo, man, you better get out of my face. 41 00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:06,844 This ain't no damn Denny's. Get it yourself. 42 00:02:07,945 --> 00:02:10,209 Excuse me, baby. 43 00:02:10,281 --> 00:02:13,842 Now let's get back to this case involving my main man, Rodriguez. 44 00:02:13,918 --> 00:02:17,979 Now this is clearly a case of"po-lice" brutality. 45 00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:20,182 Five minutes ago, you were against him. 46 00:02:20,258 --> 00:02:25,560 Yeah, well, five minutes ago, I was a black judge appointed by Bobo, the white president. 47 00:02:25,630 --> 00:02:28,827 - Well, what are you now? - I'm your darkest nightmare... 48 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:32,529 a black judge with a powerful hung jury. 49 00:02:32,603 --> 00:02:37,370 - Clarence! - [Imitating Sidney Poitier] You call me Mister Thomas. 50 00:02:37,442 --> 00:02:40,809 This is a complete outrage! 51 00:02:40,878 --> 00:02:43,813 The unmitigated gall! 52 00:02:43,881 --> 00:02:47,647 You have betrayed everyone who worked to put you on this court. 53 00:02:47,718 --> 00:02:50,482 Look here, man, I don't know what you said... 54 00:02:50,555 --> 00:02:53,649 but I am awfully sorry... I guess you thought you knew Clarence Thomas. 55 00:02:53,724 --> 00:02:57,820 - ♪♪ [Soul] - I bet you all sittin' here right now sayin' to yourselves... 56 00:02:57,895 --> 00:02:59,829 ♪ Who's the black Supreme Court judge ♪ 57 00:02:59,897 --> 00:03:01,990 ♪ Who's a rights machine for the brothers ♪ 58 00:03:02,066 --> 00:03:05,365 - ♪ Thomas ♪ - ♪ Clarence Thomas ♪ 59 00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:09,463 - ♪ They say this cat Thomas is a bad mother... ♪ - Shut your mouth! 60 00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:12,566 - But I'm just talkin' about Clarence. - [All] We can dig it! 61 00:03:12,643 --> 00:03:14,611 ♪ He's a complicated man ♪ 62 00:03:14,679 --> 00:03:18,080 ♪ And nobody understands him but his woman ♪ 63 00:03:18,149 --> 00:03:21,175 - ♪ Court adjourned ♪♪ - [Justices] Right on! 64 00:03:22,253 --> 00:03:24,187 Now, see here! 65 00:03:24,255 --> 00:03:28,191 If you leave, don't come back! 66 00:03:28,259 --> 00:03:30,420 This is unacceptable! 67 00:03:30,495 --> 00:03:32,622 This is unacceptable! 68 00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:36,288 - How you livin'? - What? 69 00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:37,459 - How you livin'? - What? 70 00:03:37,535 --> 00:03:39,662 - How you livin'? - ♪ In living color♪ 71 00:03:42,106 --> 00:03:46,236 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 72 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:50,576 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 73 00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:54,448 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 74 00:03:54,519 --> 00:03:58,785 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 75 00:03:58,856 --> 00:04:01,484 - ♪ Let's take a trip and sip on a dream ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 76 00:04:01,559 --> 00:04:03,720 - ♪ Glide with the guide on a funky scene ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 77 00:04:03,794 --> 00:04:06,262 ♪ Here comes another one of those funky, funny mo'money shows ♪ 78 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:07,854 ♪ A cast for laughs and talented roles ♪ 79 00:04:07,932 --> 00:04:10,059 ♪ And sisters with twisters for you been lookin', listener♪ 80 00:04:10,134 --> 00:04:12,102 ♪ It seems you don't believe so you can believe what I convince ya ♪ 81 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,194 ♪ Some booty to your short and thought We'll make it snappy ♪ 82 00:04:14,272 --> 00:04:16,365 ♪ With jokes and pokes at folks to keep you happy ♪ 83 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,635 ♪ No need to hold your remote control ♪ 84 00:04:18,709 --> 00:04:20,677 ♪ Chill This show's got soul ♪ 85 00:04:20,745 --> 00:04:22,838 ♪ All aboard, all aboard The train never troubles ♪ 86 00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,279 ♪ You'd better snuggle up couple up ♪ 87 00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:26,043 - ♪ On the double-dub-double ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 88 00:04:26,117 --> 00:04:29,348 ♪ It's hard to believe but some of the best things in life are free ♪ 89 00:04:29,420 --> 00:04:31,445 ♪ So, fellas, grab your girl Tell her that you love her♪ 90 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:33,888 ♪ 'Cause that's the way you're livin' when you're livin'in living color♪ 91 00:04:33,958 --> 00:04:37,291 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 92 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:43,197 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 93 00:04:43,267 --> 00:04:47,704 ♪ Go, go, go, go go, go, go, go ♪ 94 00:04:47,772 --> 00:04:49,000 ♪ Go, go, go ♪ 95 00:04:49,073 --> 00:04:50,870 ♪ Go, go, go, go ♪♪ 96 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,684 Adiós, señorita. 97 00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:05,045 [Shouting, Indistinct] 98 00:05:05,122 --> 00:05:07,454 ¡A y.! ¡Dios mío.! Thief! Stop! 99 00:05:07,525 --> 00:05:09,857 Those men... they stole my fruit.! 100 00:05:09,927 --> 00:05:13,727 If only El Rocketeer were here to save me. 101 00:05:13,798 --> 00:05:16,790 ♪♪ [Dramatic] 102 00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:19,998 [Power Blast] 103 00:05:34,185 --> 00:05:36,244 [Both Laughing] 104 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,254 [Groans] 105 00:05:43,728 --> 00:05:46,219 [Engine Fires] 106 00:05:46,297 --> 00:05:48,663 - [Gasps] - Who was that hombre? 107 00:05:48,733 --> 00:05:50,667 And where the hell did he come from? 108 00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:59,501 Gracias, Rocketeer. Gracias. 109 00:05:59,577 --> 00:06:02,444 [Announcer, Spanish Accent] He is the law and order from the south of the border. 110 00:06:02,513 --> 00:06:05,676 He is El Grande y Spectacular Muchacho Rocketeer. 111 00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,548 Coming this summer to theaters everywhere. 112 00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:11,383 And look for your El Muchacho Rocketeer glasses and mugs... 113 00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:14,185 at your participating Taco Bell and Del Taco. 114 00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:24,799 - [Bullhorn Blares] - All right, people. Freeze! 115 00:06:24,869 --> 00:06:28,236 Now, this is Al Macafee, your metal shop teacher. 116 00:06:34,178 --> 00:06:37,443 Now, I got a dirty job to do, so listen up, kids. 117 00:06:37,515 --> 00:06:41,451 The local school board has ordered me to distribute condoms to you students. 118 00:06:41,519 --> 00:06:44,716 Personally, I don't get it. You can't say a prayer in front of you kids... 119 00:06:44,789 --> 00:06:48,589 but it's okay for me to teach you how to Saran Wrap your jolly parts. 120 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:51,651 Here, take 'em. Take as many as you like. See what I care. 121 00:06:51,729 --> 00:06:55,529 But let me tell you somethin', missy. You are drag racin' with a loaded gun. 122 00:06:55,599 --> 00:06:57,658 I'm gonna call your parents and tell 'em what you're up to. 123 00:06:57,735 --> 00:07:01,227 - Mr. Macafee, I don't even want these. - Yeah, I'm not fooled. 124 00:07:01,305 --> 00:07:04,832 I was young once too. I know what it's like to be a... 125 00:07:04,909 --> 00:07:06,843 steaming cauldron of lust... 126 00:07:06,911 --> 00:07:08,970 wantin' it... 127 00:07:09,046 --> 00:07:11,310 burnin' for it. 128 00:07:11,382 --> 00:07:15,318 Lying in bed at night... those cold sheets rubbin' against your... 129 00:07:15,386 --> 00:07:17,786 soft, hot, prepubescent flesh. 130 00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:21,814 - You're sick! - You can't fool the Mac Man, baby! 131 00:07:21,892 --> 00:07:25,988 I know you're just a one-woman welcome wagon for the incoming freshmen. 132 00:07:27,631 --> 00:07:31,067 What's this? Why don't you take a hike, you little trollop. 133 00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:35,231 Now, how many times have I told you about fraternizing between classes, Hardison? 134 00:07:35,306 --> 00:07:38,605 - What the hell is this? - Geez, Mr. Macafee. Those are crib notes for my math class. 135 00:07:38,676 --> 00:07:41,702 Yeah? I'll be the judge of this. 136 00:07:41,779 --> 00:07:45,806 "The input of the square root into 'Y "'... 137 00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:48,215 "The angle of the hypotenuse is equal to"... 138 00:07:48,285 --> 00:07:50,219 Why, this is smut, mister. 139 00:07:50,287 --> 00:07:52,847 Mr. Macafee, now I'll never figure out that problem. 140 00:07:52,923 --> 00:07:56,154 This is the kind of problem you should be trying to figure out on your wedding night. 141 00:07:56,227 --> 00:07:59,219 - Four eyes. - You've ruined everything. 142 00:07:59,296 --> 00:08:02,595 Well, maybe I'd better give you Mr. Macafee's speech on "permiscuity." 143 00:08:02,666 --> 00:08:06,193 - [Whimpering, Crying] - When you think with your crotch, you're gonna end up crotchety. 144 00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:09,467 Just remember that one of those nights when you got a party in your pants. 145 00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:11,531 Get outta here. 146 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,401 [No Audible Dialogue] 147 00:08:17,948 --> 00:08:20,416 Now, this is what I like to see... 148 00:08:20,484 --> 00:08:24,477 a couple of young, spirited bucks getting ready to play one of your boyish pranks. 149 00:08:24,555 --> 00:08:28,252 - "Young Buck's" my middle name, Mr. Macafee. - I know what you're doin'. 150 00:08:28,325 --> 00:08:31,783 Heck, I used to love to do a little bit of that myself when I was a lad. 151 00:08:31,862 --> 00:08:35,696 You're gonna fill 'em up with water, take 'em on the roof, throw 'em off, huh, boys? 152 00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,825 Well, we was goin' to the roof. 153 00:08:39,236 --> 00:08:41,898 There you go. Take as many as you like. 154 00:08:41,972 --> 00:08:44,031 Go ahead, boys. Have a good time. 155 00:08:44,108 --> 00:08:47,100 - Wow. You're kind of firm. You been workin' out, son? - [Both] Thank you, Mr. Macafee. 156 00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:49,112 Bye-bye now. 157 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,478 - Oh, stop right there, princess. - Back off, Macafee. 158 00:08:51,549 --> 00:08:56,851 You know, the combination of Al "Mac-a-licious" Macafee and fine American latex... 159 00:08:56,921 --> 00:08:58,855 can be quite intoxicating. 160 00:08:58,923 --> 00:09:01,983 What do you say we take a couple of these babies out and see what they can do. 161 00:09:02,059 --> 00:09:05,392 Kind of push the envelope. I got a bottle of baby oil in my locker. 162 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,760 [Snorting] 163 00:09:07,832 --> 00:09:09,800 I wouldn't be in a room with you and one of those things... 164 00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:12,859 if I could watch you pull it over your big head and suffocate. 165 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:17,372 It's this, huh, baby? The old bum hip. 166 00:09:17,441 --> 00:09:21,241 Well, let me tell you something. When a man loses the use of one of his appendages... 167 00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:23,644 all the others work that much harder. 168 00:09:23,714 --> 00:09:26,547 You know, they used to call me Lizard Tongue. 169 00:09:26,617 --> 00:09:29,450 [Snaps] You didn't know that, did you? 170 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,148 Oh, she wants me. 171 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:34,487 Excuse me, young lady. What seems to be the problem? 172 00:09:34,558 --> 00:09:36,492 Don't you want any prophylactics, honey? 173 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,892 Gee, Mr. Macafee, I don't really have any use for them. 174 00:09:38,963 --> 00:09:41,796 Yeah, I understand. 175 00:09:41,866 --> 00:09:44,630 I guess you just aren't having much luck with the boys, huh, honey? 176 00:09:44,702 --> 00:09:48,968 I tell you what. There's your problem, little lady. You're out of shape. 177 00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:52,600 A few hundred sit-ups in the morning will burn that beer belly right off. 178 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:56,737 You know, I think it's time you heard Mr. Macafee's speech on courtship. 179 00:09:56,814 --> 00:09:59,715 Boys don't make passes at girls with fat asses. 180 00:09:59,783 --> 00:10:01,876 - Now take a lesson! - [Crying] 181 00:10:03,921 --> 00:10:08,017 Hey, Macafee, man. You know, I really dig what you're doin' with this condom thing. 182 00:10:08,092 --> 00:10:10,993 Well, thanks, son. You got quite a hell of a grip there. 183 00:10:11,061 --> 00:10:14,292 Yeah, man. A lot of teachers... they make us feel weird about this kind of stuff. 184 00:10:14,365 --> 00:10:17,391 But, see, you cool, man. You down with the brothers. 185 00:10:17,468 --> 00:10:19,402 Thanks a lot, my boy. 186 00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:22,769 Yeah. I think when the kids need somebody to talk to... 187 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:26,105 they know they can always turn to me, Al Macafee. 188 00:10:27,678 --> 00:10:30,306 - [Bullhorn Blares] - All right. Carry on, kids! 189 00:10:38,489 --> 00:10:40,855 - [Man Speaking] - ♪♪ [House] 190 00:10:40,925 --> 00:10:44,417 ♪♪ [Woman Singing] 191 00:11:12,623 --> 00:11:14,557 ♪♪ [Ends] 192 00:11:17,239 --> 00:11:19,434 I'll never forget the first time I kissed a girl. 193 00:11:19,508 --> 00:11:21,806 It was in the backseat of my dad's old Impala. 194 00:11:21,877 --> 00:11:24,641 Yeah, man. Makin'out in your old man's car. 195 00:11:24,713 --> 00:11:26,647 My dad had a Volkswagen. 196 00:11:26,715 --> 00:11:28,910 I couldn't do much of anything in the backseat of that thing. 197 00:11:28,984 --> 00:11:32,078 The first time I did it, I was in a little red Corvette... 198 00:11:32,154 --> 00:11:34,520 with Sheena Easton and Vanity. 199 00:11:34,590 --> 00:11:37,184 Or was that Morris? ♪ Ooh-ee ♪ 200 00:11:37,259 --> 00:11:40,160 - Butt out, man. - ♪♪ [Squeal] 201 00:11:40,229 --> 00:11:43,357 The craziest thing I ever did was break up with my high school sweetheart. 202 00:11:43,432 --> 00:11:47,528 [Chuckles] Man, when it comes to women, we're always doin'something crazy. 203 00:11:47,603 --> 00:11:52,768 I know what you mean. One time, I poured chocolate all over Sheila E. 204 00:11:52,841 --> 00:11:55,503 Or was that Morris? ♪♪ [Squeal] 205 00:11:55,577 --> 00:11:57,511 - ♪♪ [Squeal] - Butt out, man. 206 00:11:57,579 --> 00:11:59,308 [Low Yelp] 207 00:11:59,381 --> 00:12:02,839 Man, you really wanna turn a girl on, put on some Luther Vandross. 208 00:12:02,918 --> 00:12:05,216 Oh, man. That works with some girls. 209 00:12:05,287 --> 00:12:09,314 But the guy who really gets 'em goin' is RickJames. 210 00:12:09,391 --> 00:12:12,656 You're both wrong. Whenever I want a woman to get wild... 211 00:12:12,728 --> 00:12:15,026 all I have to do is... 212 00:12:15,097 --> 00:12:17,031 ♪♪ [Funk] 213 00:12:17,099 --> 00:12:20,899 ♪ Bet your bottom dollar Ooh ♪ 214 00:12:20,969 --> 00:12:24,735 ♪ That I can make you feel all right ♪ 215 00:12:24,807 --> 00:12:28,743 ♪ And if I make ya holler Yeah-ooh ♪ 216 00:12:28,811 --> 00:12:31,279 ♪Just grit your teeth and hold on tight ♪ 217 00:12:31,346 --> 00:12:34,179 ♪ I got a hole in my jeans ♪ 218 00:12:35,551 --> 00:12:38,520 Watch, you guys. ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 219 00:12:39,521 --> 00:12:41,455 ♪♪ [Vocalizing] 220 00:12:41,523 --> 00:12:43,582 [Announcer] Butt OutJeans by Prince. 221 00:12:43,659 --> 00:12:46,628 They're everything they're cracked up to be. 222 00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:52,133 Salima! Salima Jones! Girl! 223 00:12:52,201 --> 00:12:54,601 I see you walkin' past my booth, Miss Thing. 224 00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:57,901 You better come on over here and get some of Miss Benita's gumbo. 225 00:12:57,973 --> 00:12:59,907 Salima! 226 00:12:59,975 --> 00:13:02,603 Hey! I'm glad you could make it. 227 00:13:02,678 --> 00:13:04,839 We don't get to have too many carnivals here in the projects... 228 00:13:04,913 --> 00:13:07,108 because they can't always get the metal detectors. 229 00:13:07,182 --> 00:13:10,208 But when they do, you know Miss Benita's gonna be here with my famous gumbo. 230 00:13:10,285 --> 00:13:13,220 'Cause everybody love my gumbo. Mm! Mm! 231 00:13:13,288 --> 00:13:17,122 Look! There go Cletha Watkins. She the one that organized the whole thing. 232 00:13:17,192 --> 00:13:20,252 Cletha! Cletha! 233 00:13:20,329 --> 00:13:22,820 Ooh, that girl's deaf as the day is long. 234 00:13:22,898 --> 00:13:26,197 Ain't been right since that curlin' iron set fire to the side of her head. 235 00:13:26,268 --> 00:13:28,566 Cletha! Cletha! 236 00:13:28,637 --> 00:13:31,435 Ooh, girl! What's that I see on your finger? 237 00:13:31,507 --> 00:13:35,637 [Laughing] Don't tell me Tyrone finally proposed to you? 238 00:13:35,711 --> 00:13:37,645 Oh, girl, I'm so happy for you. 239 00:13:37,713 --> 00:13:41,114 Now it's your turn to wait in line at the justice of peace. 240 00:13:43,785 --> 00:13:47,983 She need to be waitin' in line at the free clinic. 241 00:13:48,056 --> 00:13:50,923 Damn tramp had more men in her jeans than Calvin Klein. 242 00:13:50,993 --> 00:13:53,985 I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard it from me. No, you haven't. 243 00:13:54,062 --> 00:13:57,031 Oh, look-a there! There go Luther, Luther Evans. 244 00:13:57,099 --> 00:13:59,158 Luther! Luther! 245 00:13:59,234 --> 00:14:01,168 You lookin' for your little Thelma? 246 00:14:01,236 --> 00:14:04,728 She's sittin' right over there with the youth group all by herself. 247 00:14:04,806 --> 00:14:07,798 Yeah, that girl know better than mess with them triflin' boys. 248 00:14:09,511 --> 00:14:12,344 More like them boys know better than to mess with her. 249 00:14:13,916 --> 00:14:16,612 Girl so ugly, her mama had to get drunk just to breast-feed her. 250 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,812 Hair all patchy. Hair all patchy like some crows been pickin' at it. 251 00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:24,791 And with that lazy eye, you can't tell if she lookin' at your head or your feet. 252 00:14:25,928 --> 00:14:27,862 And you let keep eatin' them scooter pies. 253 00:14:27,930 --> 00:14:31,866 Already take the girl three days to reach around and scratch her own ass. 254 00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:35,961 But I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard it from me. No, you haven't. 255 00:14:36,038 --> 00:14:37,972 Ooh, look, look! There go Loretha! 256 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,134 Loretha! Mm! Mm! Loretha! Mm! Mm! 257 00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:43,871 Loretha! Girl! 258 00:14:43,946 --> 00:14:47,404 How you doin'? You got your little Tyrone with you. 259 00:14:47,482 --> 00:14:49,882 Hey, Tee-Tee Ty-Tyroney. 260 00:14:49,952 --> 00:14:52,887 How you doin', Tyrone? Oh! 261 00:14:52,955 --> 00:14:55,947 Loretha, girl, I hear you hit the number. 262 00:14:56,024 --> 00:15:01,189 I betcha you played 10, 34, 43 and six, right? 263 00:15:01,263 --> 00:15:05,029 [Laughing] Girl, you always said those were your lucky numbers. 264 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,591 [Laughing, Gasping] 265 00:15:09,905 --> 00:15:13,341 Her unlucky numbers is more like it. Mm-hmm. 266 00:15:13,408 --> 00:15:16,343 "Ten" for how many years her husband been in prison. 267 00:15:16,411 --> 00:15:18,811 "Thirty-four" for how old she says she is. 268 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,212 "Forty-three" for how old she really is. 269 00:15:21,283 --> 00:15:25,845 And "six," that's how many years that dumb-ass Tyrone been in the third grade. 270 00:15:25,921 --> 00:15:29,152 But I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard that from me. 271 00:15:29,224 --> 00:15:31,158 No, you haven't. 272 00:15:31,226 --> 00:15:33,160 No, you haven't. 273 00:15:33,228 --> 00:15:36,220 Look like everybody's packin' up to leave this carnival. 274 00:15:36,298 --> 00:15:38,562 Do you think this gumbo gonna keep overnight? 275 00:15:38,634 --> 00:15:40,795 'Cause, you know, I got the recipe from Mrs. Jenkins. 276 00:15:40,869 --> 00:15:44,236 [Crying] 277 00:15:44,306 --> 00:15:48,402 Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Mrs. Jenkins. 278 00:15:48,477 --> 00:15:51,139 Don't nobody better say nothin' bad about Mrs. Jenkins, honey. 279 00:15:51,213 --> 00:15:55,343 'Cause that's when Miss Benita go off! 280 00:15:55,417 --> 00:15:58,978 I loves me some Miss Jenkins, honey. She like a second mother to me. 281 00:15:59,054 --> 00:16:01,921 Mm-hmm. She said, "Miss Benita"... 282 00:16:01,990 --> 00:16:04,322 She said, " This recipe has been passed down... 283 00:16:04,393 --> 00:16:07,123 "from my mother to me to you. 284 00:16:07,195 --> 00:16:09,129 I'm passin' history." 285 00:16:10,465 --> 00:16:13,195 That ain't all she passin'. 286 00:16:13,268 --> 00:16:17,136 Woman's gas so stink, it'll peel the skin off a potato. 287 00:16:17,205 --> 00:16:19,400 But I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard it from me. 288 00:16:19,474 --> 00:16:22,466 No, you haven't. Well, I guess I got to be goin'. 289 00:16:33,255 --> 00:16:35,655 Ladies and gentlemen... 290 00:16:35,724 --> 00:16:38,852 Shakespeare in the Park is proud to present... 291 00:16:38,927 --> 00:16:41,361 Romeo and Juliet. 292 00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:45,730 ♪♪ [Renaissance] 293 00:16:49,938 --> 00:16:53,066 But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? 294 00:16:53,141 --> 00:16:57,805 It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. 295 00:16:59,114 --> 00:17:03,608 O Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo? 296 00:17:03,685 --> 00:17:06,381 - Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this? - [Man] Hey.! 297 00:17:07,723 --> 00:17:09,782 Hey, what's goin' on? 298 00:17:15,864 --> 00:17:18,128 What's all this racket about? 299 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,363 Can't a man use the bathroom in privacy? 300 00:17:23,238 --> 00:17:26,799 You know, these leaves ain't too good for the skin. 301 00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:28,809 They got thorns in it. 302 00:17:28,877 --> 00:17:31,710 Just keep going. Improvise. Improvise. 303 00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:33,907 Um, Hark. 304 00:17:33,982 --> 00:17:38,146 I see thou hast brought forth a friend. 305 00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:41,781 Hark. I see thou has brought forth two friends. 306 00:17:43,859 --> 00:17:46,953 If you bend any lower, I'm gonna revert back to childhood. 307 00:17:47,028 --> 00:17:48,962 [Cackling] 308 00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:52,022 Get off the stage. This is a play, you idiot. 309 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,034 Oh. Well, y'all in luck... 310 00:17:54,102 --> 00:17:57,560 'cause I just happen to be an actor. 311 00:18:00,876 --> 00:18:04,573 But what soft wind breaks through yonder buttocks? 312 00:18:06,748 --> 00:18:10,707 It is I, the Aroma from Verona... 313 00:18:10,786 --> 00:18:14,882 or maybe those Vienna sausages I had. 314 00:18:16,691 --> 00:18:18,420 Go away. 315 00:18:18,493 --> 00:18:21,087 My bounty is as boundless as the sea... 316 00:18:21,163 --> 00:18:24,257 my love as deep, the more I give to thee. 317 00:18:24,332 --> 00:18:28,098 Well, I can't see your bounty from here... 318 00:18:28,170 --> 00:18:32,129 but if it's anything like that cleavage, I'm in love. 319 00:18:32,207 --> 00:18:34,607 Juliet, I know not this man... 320 00:18:34,676 --> 00:18:37,270 - nor do I understand of what he speaks. - Ah! 321 00:18:37,345 --> 00:18:41,873 Oh, well, maybe I should speak more Shakespearean then. 322 00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:45,511 To pee, or not to pee? 323 00:18:45,587 --> 00:18:47,521 That is the question. 324 00:18:48,523 --> 00:18:51,356 Oops. There's the answer. 325 00:18:53,929 --> 00:18:55,863 "Get thee to a nunnery!" 326 00:18:55,931 --> 00:18:57,865 Hamlet. 1613. 327 00:18:57,933 --> 00:19:00,868 Oh, well. "Kiss my black ass." 328 00:19:00,936 --> 00:19:03,564 Richard Pryor. 1978. 329 00:19:05,407 --> 00:19:07,341 That's it! 330 00:19:07,409 --> 00:19:10,469 This is balderdash! I just cannot work like this. 331 00:19:10,545 --> 00:19:13,480 I swear to God, I could just strangle you. 332 00:19:13,548 --> 00:19:15,277 [Juliet] Oh! 333 00:19:17,586 --> 00:19:20,885 I bet you'd prefer to choke my chicken. 334 00:19:23,892 --> 00:19:25,826 [Cackling] 335 00:19:25,894 --> 00:19:27,828 Ladies and gentlemen... 336 00:19:27,896 --> 00:19:31,662 the part of Romeo shall be played by moi... 337 00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:33,667 Anton Jackson. 338 00:19:34,836 --> 00:19:37,236 Excuse me. Let me get into costume. 339 00:19:40,709 --> 00:19:44,645 Friends, Romans, countrymen. 340 00:19:44,713 --> 00:19:47,011 Lend me a dollar. [Cackling] 341 00:19:47,082 --> 00:19:49,812 O Romeo, Romeo. 342 00:19:49,885 --> 00:19:51,876 Up here, Romeo. 343 00:19:51,953 --> 00:19:53,921 Oh, Juliet. 344 00:19:53,989 --> 00:19:56,958 Juliet, you are the queen of my heart... 345 00:19:57,025 --> 00:19:59,186 the flower of my garden... 346 00:19:59,261 --> 00:20:01,593 the booger in my eye. 347 00:20:02,831 --> 00:20:06,790 Ah, sir, this is one shrew you shall not tame. 348 00:20:08,436 --> 00:20:10,734 Parting is such sweet sorrow. 349 00:20:10,805 --> 00:20:12,739 Yeah, you better part, bitch. 350 00:20:22,317 --> 00:20:24,785 That bitch. That bitch. 351 00:20:24,853 --> 00:20:27,413 My kingdom for a bitch. 352 00:20:29,291 --> 00:20:31,384 Come, bitter conduct. 353 00:20:31,459 --> 00:20:33,620 Come, unsavory guide. 354 00:20:33,695 --> 00:20:36,129 Thou desperate pilot. 355 00:20:36,197 --> 00:20:38,529 Here's to my love. 356 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,932 O true apothecary. 357 00:20:42,437 --> 00:20:44,928 [Audience Laughing] 358 00:20:46,207 --> 00:20:49,108 Shakespeare always made my mouth moist. 359 00:20:51,479 --> 00:20:53,504 Thy drugs are quick. 360 00:20:53,581 --> 00:20:56,914 Thus with a kiss I die. 361 00:21:00,455 --> 00:21:03,219 Or get high. [Cackling] 362 00:21:05,694 --> 00:21:08,219 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 363 00:21:08,296 --> 00:21:11,891 Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 364 00:21:12,934 --> 00:21:17,166 Thank you. No, no, no, no. 365 00:21:17,238 --> 00:21:20,901 - [Audience Cheering] - I got my eye on you. 366 00:21:23,111 --> 00:21:27,548 Thank you very much. You know, ultimately, I'd like to direct. 367 00:21:33,488 --> 00:21:35,422 ♪♪ [Theme] 368 00:21:35,490 --> 00:21:38,118 Hey, yo! Thanks for the laughs. 369 00:21:38,193 --> 00:21:40,127 Yo, Twist, tell 'em what to do. 370 00:21:40,195 --> 00:21:42,288 - Tune in next week. - Peace out, y'all. 371 00:21:42,364 --> 00:21:46,061 - ♪ You for me and me for you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 372 00:21:46,134 --> 00:21:50,264 - ♪ You can be anything you wanna be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 373 00:22:26,574 --> 00:22:30,704 - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 374 00:22:30,779 --> 00:22:35,011 - ♪ Anything you want is up to you ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 375 00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:37,017 ♪ You for me and me...♪♪ 32219

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