Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,157 --> 00:00:05,921
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
2
00:00:06,928 --> 00:00:09,123
♪ In living color♪
3
00:00:09,196 --> 00:00:11,756
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪
4
00:00:11,832 --> 00:00:15,063
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
5
00:00:15,136 --> 00:00:19,129
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ In living color♪
6
00:00:19,206 --> 00:00:21,401
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
7
00:00:21,475 --> 00:00:23,943
♪ You see, it's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
8
00:00:24,011 --> 00:00:27,572
- ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪- ♪ In living color♪
9
00:00:27,648 --> 00:00:30,742
♪ And how would you feel knowingprejudice was obsolete ♪
10
00:00:30,818 --> 00:00:32,945
♪ And all mankind dancedto the exact beat ♪
11
00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:35,818
- ♪ And at night it was safeto walk down the street ♪
- ♪ In living color♪
12
00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:38,984
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
13
00:00:39,060 --> 00:00:41,051
♪ In living color♪
14
00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:44,364
♪ In living color♪
15
00:00:44,432 --> 00:00:47,094
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
16
00:00:47,168 --> 00:00:52,333
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ In living color♪
17
00:00:52,406 --> 00:00:54,601
♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪
18
00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:57,109
♪ Everybody hereis equally kind ♪
19
00:00:57,178 --> 00:00:59,112
♪ Everybody, everybodyeverybody, everybody ♪
20
00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:02,911
- ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪- ♪ In living color♪
21
00:01:02,984 --> 00:01:05,282
♪ What's mine is yoursand what's yours is mine ♪
22
00:01:05,353 --> 00:01:07,514
♪ In living c-c-c-olor♪
23
00:01:08,923 --> 00:01:13,951
♪ You can do what you wanna doin living color♪
24
00:01:15,963 --> 00:01:19,364
Hi. I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans.
Thanks for tuning in to In Living Color.
25
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,663
Check it out. How many times you been
sitting around with friends...
26
00:01:21,736 --> 00:01:24,000
trying to tell them
your favorite sketch from the show?
27
00:01:24,071 --> 00:01:27,234
Only they didn't see it. Well, check it out.
This is what I done for you.
28
00:01:27,308 --> 00:01:29,606
I put all the best into one show.
29
00:01:29,677 --> 00:01:32,373
So call your friends,
have them watch.
30
00:01:32,446 --> 00:01:34,539
I'll see you next week.
Peace.
31
00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:40,810
Next!
32
00:01:49,864 --> 00:01:51,798
Vrrooom.
33
00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:57,295
Is this the Army
Recrucification Office, sir?
34
00:01:57,371 --> 00:02:00,306
Now, you probably
want the Eternal Life Mission.
35
00:02:00,374 --> 00:02:02,467
It's down the street
and around the block.
36
00:02:02,543 --> 00:02:05,637
No, I've come to be
all I can be...
37
00:02:05,713 --> 00:02:09,376
'cause I've been what I've been
and it ain't paying too well.
38
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,245
- Let me ask you something, boy.
- Huh?
39
00:02:15,322 --> 00:02:17,415
What do you think
you have to offer the army?
40
00:02:17,491 --> 00:02:20,255
Well, I'm glad you asked, sir.
41
00:02:20,327 --> 00:02:23,490
See, 'cause I'm
an entertainer, you know?
42
00:02:23,564 --> 00:02:25,532
If you gave me five dollars...
43
00:02:25,599 --> 00:02:28,830
I could go over
to Salty Armenia...
44
00:02:28,903 --> 00:02:31,633
and entertain the troops, see?
45
00:02:31,706 --> 00:02:35,870
'Cause I'm a regular boogie-woogie bugle boy
of Company "B."
46
00:02:35,943 --> 00:02:40,346
I'm a boogie-woogie
bugle boy... Compan...
47
00:02:40,414 --> 00:02:42,575
Here. Camouflage that for me.
48
00:02:45,086 --> 00:02:50,956
Now, listen to me. I am in the business
of signing up real live soldiers, maggot!
49
00:02:51,025 --> 00:02:53,118
Maggot?
Hey, I ain't no maggot.
50
00:02:53,194 --> 00:02:56,357
Hey, I ain't never been
with another man before.
51
00:02:56,430 --> 00:03:00,298
Who told you that, Clarence?
He's lying. He's lying. I'm telling you.
52
00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:02,358
All right, once.
I was desperate.
53
00:03:02,436 --> 00:03:05,872
I needed the money. I was drunk and down out.
Don't hold it against me.
54
00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:10,172
I don't have time for this!
I'm in the middle of a rapid deployment!
55
00:03:10,244 --> 00:03:14,681
Well, I'm in the middle of unemployment,
so we got something in common.
56
00:03:14,749 --> 00:03:18,150
- You know, as much as I would
love to send you over to Iraq...
- Mm-hmm.
57
00:03:18,219 --> 00:03:20,710
I don't think you'd last 10 minutes.
58
00:03:20,788 --> 00:03:22,722
Okay, just for instance...
59
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:26,385
what would you do if you had to engage
the enemy in hand-to-hand combat?
60
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:29,088
[Sniffles]
That's no problem, see...
61
00:03:29,163 --> 00:03:31,654
'cause I'm skilled
in the Martian arts.
62
00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:36,161
I know tai chi. Whaa!
63
00:03:36,237 --> 00:03:39,070
I know tae kwon do.
[Yapping]
64
00:03:40,407 --> 00:03:43,342
And I know Tyrone.
He taught me all that stuff.
65
00:03:44,411 --> 00:03:46,436
You know,
like how to take a rope.
66
00:03:46,514 --> 00:03:49,347
Just a simple rope...
anything becomes a weapon.
67
00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:53,011
You take that out and...
[Mumbles]
68
00:03:53,087 --> 00:03:55,749
Oh, that's
the secret weapon there.
69
00:03:58,659 --> 00:04:00,684
Ewww.
70
00:04:02,029 --> 00:04:06,432
Oh, my God.
What is that smell?
71
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:09,958
Well, that was a sample
of my nerve gas.
72
00:04:10,037 --> 00:04:13,336
All right, all right. That does it.
Get out of here. Go on! Get out of here!
73
00:04:13,407 --> 00:04:16,308
Well, wait a second. Hold on.
74
00:04:16,377 --> 00:04:20,871
- Wait a minute, uh, Uncle Sambo.
- Hey, hey, hey.
75
00:04:20,948 --> 00:04:22,882
I want to serve my country.
76
00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:26,647
I'll give you five dollars if you get out of here
and forget you ever heard about the army.
77
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:30,656
- Come on! Take it!
- Well, the guy down at the navy office gave me...
78
00:04:30,724 --> 00:04:33,818
- Ah, here's $10.
- Well, the guy at the coast guard...
79
00:04:33,894 --> 00:04:35,828
All right, here's $25.Just go!
80
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:39,332
$25, get you $45.
$45? $55? $55? $55?
81
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,732
- Sold! $55!
- Hey, hey, hey!
82
00:04:49,009 --> 00:04:51,136
Carla, the coast is clear.
83
00:04:51,212 --> 00:04:53,612
Can I borrow, uh, you know,
a feminine product?
84
00:04:53,681 --> 00:04:57,447
- Oh, you mean a tampon?
- Shh. Yes. Hurry.
85
00:04:59,053 --> 00:05:00,918
Thanks.
86
00:05:02,656 --> 00:05:05,284
That time of the month, huh, Joyce?
87
00:05:05,359 --> 00:05:07,953
That's not cleavage. It's swelling.
88
00:05:08,028 --> 00:05:10,690
Suffering from P.M.S., Joyce?
[Laughs]
89
00:05:10,764 --> 00:05:13,528
See? I told you she looked bloated.
90
00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:16,968
Can't seem to disguise the fact
that it's your time of the month?
91
00:05:17,037 --> 00:05:20,700
Well, now Femco brings you
Fashion Tampons.
92
00:05:20,774 --> 00:05:22,708
Stylish, comfortable and fun.
93
00:05:22,776 --> 00:05:26,303
They come in assorted colors
and go with any outfit.
94
00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:29,645
Ooh, Joyce,
I love those earrings!
95
00:05:29,717 --> 00:05:33,278
Thanks, Carla.
Actually, they're tampons...
96
00:05:33,354 --> 00:05:37,347
conveniently packaged
in boxes of 12, 24 and 186.
97
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,358
And they're super absorbent.
98
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,190
Something you just can't find
in other fashion wear.
99
00:05:42,263 --> 00:05:47,895
Fashion Tampons. Well, honey, I'm just
gonna go on down and get me some.
100
00:05:49,737 --> 00:05:52,205
Gee, Joyce, you look great today.
101
00:05:52,273 --> 00:05:55,709
I like a woman who can accessorize.
Really turns me on.
102
00:05:55,776 --> 00:05:58,006
Nice dress, Joyce.
103
00:05:58,078 --> 00:06:00,046
This old rag?
104
00:06:00,114 --> 00:06:04,915
Fashion Tampons. Because at that time
of the month, you want to look good.
105
00:06:07,121 --> 00:06:09,589
[Woman]And there's alsoFashion Maxi and Mini Pads...
106
00:06:09,657 --> 00:06:11,591
for the woman on the go.
107
00:06:11,659 --> 00:06:14,822
Fashion Tampons from Femco.
108
00:06:18,799 --> 00:06:22,428
All right, all right. Thanks for coming in.
Come visit us again, all right?
109
00:06:22,503 --> 00:06:24,562
All right.
110
00:06:24,638 --> 00:06:26,765
Later.
111
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:29,001
Yo, yo, fight the power.
112
00:06:29,076 --> 00:06:31,237
[Chuckles]
113
00:06:32,246 --> 00:06:33,440
- Hey, Joy!
- What?
114
00:06:33,514 --> 00:06:34,845
- Joy!
- What?
115
00:06:34,915 --> 00:06:36,439
- Joy!
- What?
116
00:06:36,517 --> 00:06:37,814
- Joy!
- What?
117
00:06:37,885 --> 00:06:39,477
- Come here.
- What if I don't?
118
00:06:39,553 --> 00:06:41,487
I won't put you in my next movie.
119
00:06:42,756 --> 00:06:45,316
Look, Spike. How many timesdo I have to tell you?
120
00:06:45,392 --> 00:06:47,155
It's notJoy. It's Joi.
121
00:06:47,227 --> 00:06:49,821
Joy, we're back in Brooklyn, all right?
All right?
122
00:06:49,897 --> 00:06:52,457
In Brooklyn,
it's Joy, notJoi, okay?
123
00:06:52,533 --> 00:06:54,694
It's notJackay, all right?
It's Jackie.
124
00:06:54,768 --> 00:06:57,737
It's not Sade, all right?
It's Sadie.
125
00:06:57,805 --> 00:07:00,706
- All right?
- All right.
126
00:07:00,774 --> 00:07:03,402
What you gonna call me next?
What you gonna call me, Spikay?
127
00:07:03,477 --> 00:07:08,141
Get outta here.
I wanna show you my new product.
128
00:07:08,215 --> 00:07:10,979
Check it out.
Ah, you likes, right?
129
00:07:11,051 --> 00:07:14,987
You likes, right? Ah, this is
the Mo' Better butter dispenser.
130
00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:17,387
Check it out.
131
00:07:17,458 --> 00:07:19,790
Ah.
132
00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:23,591
I've tasted butter,
but this is Mo' Better butter.
133
00:07:23,664 --> 00:07:27,065
Go stack that over there.
Stack it by the Malcolm Ex-lax.
134
00:07:27,134 --> 00:07:28,999
I got a customer.
135
00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:32,197
- Can I help you?
- Yeah, do you carry sneakers?
136
00:07:32,272 --> 00:07:33,170
- Sneakers?
- Yeah.
137
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,537
- Like tennis shoes?
- Right.
138
00:07:34,608 --> 00:07:35,905
- Like basketball shoes?
- Yes.
139
00:07:35,976 --> 00:07:37,671
- Like just plain sneakers?
- Yes.
140
00:07:37,745 --> 00:07:39,940
- Got 'em.
- Oh, great.
141
00:07:40,014 --> 00:07:42,448
Check it out. My own line.
142
00:07:42,516 --> 00:07:44,677
- Oh.
- Spikes. You like?
143
00:07:44,752 --> 00:07:46,447
- No.
- Come on. You gotta like.
144
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,078
- No, l...
- Come on, look. You gotta like.
145
00:07:48,155 --> 00:07:50,350
- I don't.
- Please, baby, baby, please.
146
00:07:50,424 --> 00:07:52,892
Please, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Please, baby, baby, please.
147
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,825
Please, baby, baby.
Please, baby, baby, baby, baby.
148
00:07:54,895 --> 00:07:56,487
- Please, baby, baby, please.
- Okay, I'll take them.
149
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:57,587
- All right. You sure?
- Yes.
150
00:07:57,664 --> 00:07:58,995
- You want 'em?
- Yes.
151
00:07:59,066 --> 00:07:59,998
- You buy 'em?
- Yes.
152
00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:01,193
- You sure?
- Absolutely.
153
00:08:01,268 --> 00:08:03,429
All right. You can pay for them
right over here.
154
00:08:03,504 --> 00:08:05,438
You get a copy
of School Daze with that.
155
00:08:05,506 --> 00:08:07,770
- Oh. That's okay.
- It's free.
156
00:08:07,841 --> 00:08:09,274
- Oh, it's free?
- Free.
157
00:08:09,343 --> 00:08:11,277
That's okay.
158
00:08:12,413 --> 00:08:15,712
- [Mumbling]
- Get outta here!
159
00:08:15,783 --> 00:08:18,684
What do you want? What do you want?I'm gonna go broke.!
160
00:08:18,752 --> 00:08:21,550
Here! Here!
You're gonna drive me crazy.
161
00:08:21,622 --> 00:08:25,581
- Mm-mm-mm. Thank you.
- You sound like a machine gun.
162
00:08:25,659 --> 00:08:29,220
♪♪ [Radio]
163
00:08:29,296 --> 00:08:31,230
Excuse me.
Can you turn the radio down, please?
164
00:08:31,298 --> 00:08:33,823
- ♪♪ [Continues]
- Excuse me.
165
00:08:33,901 --> 00:08:36,563
Can you turn your radio
down, please? Hey!
166
00:08:36,637 --> 00:08:39,606
Excuse me. I'd like to return
this free copy of School Daze.
167
00:08:39,673 --> 00:08:41,470
What's wrong?
It's defective?
168
00:08:41,542 --> 00:08:44,272
No. I didn't go to a black college.
I just didn't get it.
169
00:08:44,344 --> 00:08:47,541
Can you please turn your radio down?
Hey.
170
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,639
- [Phone Ringing]
- Can you please turn your radio down?
171
00:08:49,716 --> 00:08:51,911
Hello. Spike's Joint.
172
00:08:51,985 --> 00:08:54,818
Ha, ha, ha, very funny.
Deliver pizzas to your house.
173
00:08:54,888 --> 00:08:58,483
- Yeah, right. For the 40th time, hell no!
- ♪♪ [Continues]
174
00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,119
Can you turn
your radio down, please?
175
00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:05,256
Hey, Spike. Why doesn't Nike appoint
any black people to its board of directors, man?
176
00:09:05,332 --> 00:09:09,234
It's a very complicated issue, all right?
But you can read about it in my new book:
177
00:09:09,303 --> 00:09:11,237
The Making of Nike Commercials.
178
00:09:11,305 --> 00:09:13,239
All right? $9.95.
179
00:09:13,307 --> 00:09:15,639
- I need 20 triple "A" batteries for my radio.
- We don't have any batteries.
180
00:09:15,709 --> 00:09:18,177
- You're gonna have to turn your radio down.
- No batteries?
181
00:09:18,245 --> 00:09:20,304
- Twenty triple "A"?
- Turn your radio down.
182
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:22,211
- Turn that down. We don't have any batteries.
- Excuse me.
183
00:09:22,282 --> 00:09:27,083
Excuse me. Mookie, when are you gonna
take care of your kids, all right?
184
00:09:27,154 --> 00:09:30,988
It's... It's not Mookie, all right?
It's Spike, all right?
185
00:09:31,058 --> 00:09:33,083
Turn the radio down.
What do you want?
186
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,323
- [Stammering]
- Get outta here. Get outta here.
187
00:09:36,396 --> 00:09:39,194
- Get outta here!
- How come there's no white people
on the wall, man?
188
00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:42,929
[Overlapping Yelling]
189
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:48,734
This is Spike's Joint, all right?
When you get your own joint...
190
00:09:48,809 --> 00:09:50,606
[Overlapping Yelling Continues]
191
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,770
You can put anybody
you want on the wall.
192
00:09:52,846 --> 00:09:56,475
- [Yelling Continues]
- The guy who was in Gilligan, man.
193
00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:59,713
Huh? How come he's not...
194
00:10:02,756 --> 00:10:05,020
[Baby Crying]
195
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,661
Now, I know what
you're thinking right now.
196
00:10:08,729 --> 00:10:13,223
You're thinking, " Hey, now's a great time
to throw a trash can through the window."
197
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,234
Well, I couldn't agree
with you more.
198
00:10:15,302 --> 00:10:18,931
That's why I've got trash cans
in the back for $15.
199
00:10:19,006 --> 00:10:21,304
All right?
They're lightweight and riot size.
200
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:23,536
What a discount.
201
00:10:23,610 --> 00:10:25,578
You'll also get a free copy
of School Daze.
202
00:10:25,646 --> 00:10:28,114
- Oh, forget it.
- Nah, never mind.
203
00:10:29,883 --> 00:10:33,614
Get outta here.!What? What? What?
204
00:10:34,821 --> 00:10:37,255
M-M-M-M-Midget.
205
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:40,486
[Applause]
206
00:10:45,365 --> 00:10:49,358
Legally repressing my "ballsitude,"
207
00:10:49,436 --> 00:10:54,874
I've retracted my "godads"
with gigantic proportions.
208
00:10:54,942 --> 00:10:58,400
And the signing
of the prohibition, you see...
209
00:10:58,478 --> 00:11:00,571
defecates the fluids
of the tension...
210
00:11:00,647 --> 00:11:05,175
between the essence of
the Euro intercourse, you see.
211
00:11:05,252 --> 00:11:10,087
[Woman] A. T. + T. Allows youto reach out and touch someone...
212
00:11:10,157 --> 00:11:12,523
even when theydon't get out much.
213
00:11:12,593 --> 00:11:14,959
Right, exactly.
Okay, brother, okay.
214
00:11:15,028 --> 00:11:16,962
- See, all you're doing right now...
- Uh-huh.
215
00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:19,089
- Is flatulating your liquids, okay,
- That's pretty good.
216
00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:21,634
- Because I believe it was Homo erectus...
- Right.
217
00:11:21,702 --> 00:11:25,934
- That said to expose
the hemorrhoidal ramification...
- Uh-huh.
218
00:11:26,006 --> 00:11:29,965
- Would merely delineate the colonic orifice,
- Ooh!
219
00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:34,139
Thereby separating
the gluteus from the maximus.
220
00:11:34,214 --> 00:11:36,148
- Well, Homo was very deep,
- Uh-huh.
221
00:11:36,216 --> 00:11:41,984
- But you seem to masticate
the proclamation, my brother,
- Okay.
222
00:11:42,055 --> 00:11:45,149
Because the gastrointestinal phlebitis...
223
00:11:45,225 --> 00:11:48,991
- prostigates the "crustation" of the colostomy,
- Okay.
224
00:11:49,062 --> 00:11:51,428
- If that's your bag.
- Uh-huh. Preacher!
225
00:11:51,498 --> 00:11:55,696
Right. And further "hindrant"
the pyorrhea, which has...
226
00:11:55,769 --> 00:11:58,499
- Excuse me?
- Uh, you got me, brother.
227
00:11:58,572 --> 00:12:00,802
- The diarrhea.
- Okay.
228
00:12:00,874 --> 00:12:05,811
Moving toward the angina
or "bagina"...
229
00:12:05,879 --> 00:12:08,814
- depending on how much time you got.
- Man, you are Metamucil.
230
00:12:08,882 --> 00:12:10,816
I know, I know.
231
00:12:10,884 --> 00:12:13,079
♪ Talk to me ♪
232
00:12:13,153 --> 00:12:16,020
♪ If you feel the need andwhen you need the feeling ♪
233
00:12:16,089 --> 00:12:18,023
♪ Talk to me ♪♪
234
00:12:21,212 --> 00:12:23,578
[Announcer]Tired of making up lame excuses?
235
00:12:23,648 --> 00:12:26,981
Don't you wanna cuddle?
Baby needs a hug.
236
00:12:27,051 --> 00:12:29,884
[Yawning] I can't hug you right now.
I'm still sleeping.
237
00:12:29,954 --> 00:12:32,787
[Announcer]Is postcoital cuddling bringing you down?
238
00:12:32,857 --> 00:12:38,193
See, you don't understand. I got to be
somewhere at 6:00 tomorrow morning.
239
00:12:38,262 --> 00:12:40,196
Then I'll leave with you.
240
00:12:40,264 --> 00:12:43,097
No. But, uh,
you can't leave with me...
241
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:46,330
'cause my car was in an accident
and it only has one seat left.
242
00:12:46,404 --> 00:12:49,737
- Then I'll sit on your lap.
- Uh, listen.
243
00:12:49,807 --> 00:12:52,708
Now, I didn't wanna have to tell you this,
and it's top secret.
244
00:12:52,777 --> 00:12:55,974
I'm on a mission for the C.I.A.
I have to travel alone.
245
00:12:56,047 --> 00:12:57,878
It's a matter of life and death.
246
00:12:57,949 --> 00:13:01,544
But if you die, I don't wanna live.
247
00:13:01,619 --> 00:13:06,215
[Thinking]
Geez, what do I have to do to get rid of her?
248
00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:08,850
[Announcer] Sounds like you needthe Ejector Bed from Rudeco.
249
00:13:12,697 --> 00:13:18,363
Yes, it's simple to operate and can ejectup to 2,000 pounds in a single thrust.
250
00:13:18,436 --> 00:13:23,601
Oh, wow. This never happened
to me before.
251
00:13:23,674 --> 00:13:27,166
I guess I must've been
under a lot of stress.
252
00:13:27,245 --> 00:13:31,306
Maybe some fresh air might help.
253
00:13:36,153 --> 00:13:38,485
[Announcer]Yes, the Ejector Bed.
254
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:41,047
Your best friendin a sticky situation.
255
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:43,320
- [Woman] Honey, I'm home.
- [Gasps]
256
00:13:43,394 --> 00:13:47,558
- It's my wife.
- Oh, no! Where will I hide?
257
00:13:51,502 --> 00:13:54,335
[Announcer]Don't get caught without one.
258
00:13:54,405 --> 00:13:56,396
The Ejector Bed from Rudeco.
259
00:13:56,474 --> 00:13:59,466
Ejector Desk and Ejector Chairsold separately.
260
00:14:01,312 --> 00:14:04,213
Blood pressure stable
at 120 over 70.
261
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:09,215
Doc, how's my partner?
Is he gonna pull through?
262
00:14:09,287 --> 00:14:12,188
He's in pretty bad shape.
Take a look for yourself.
263
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,160
Oh, my God!
264
00:14:18,229 --> 00:14:23,326
Look, look, Doc. Do whatever you gotta do, man.
But please, make him whole again.
265
00:14:23,401 --> 00:14:26,529
We can rebuild him.
We have the technology, all right?
266
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,538
It's gonna cost you
six million dollars.
267
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:31,336
Six million dollars? The department
doesn't have that kind of money.
268
00:14:31,409 --> 00:14:33,707
- 15,000.
- Look.
269
00:14:33,778 --> 00:14:37,680
I got, um... Let's see. Twenty
Twenty-one, twenty-two.
270
00:14:37,748 --> 00:14:41,878
Another five. Twenty-eight.
Twenty-eight, um...
271
00:14:41,953 --> 00:14:45,946
Forty-five, all right?
There's $28.45.
272
00:14:46,023 --> 00:14:48,924
Well, I can't promise anything,
but we'll try.
273
00:14:48,993 --> 00:14:52,827
[Sighs]
He'll be a lot shorter and a little slower.
274
00:14:52,897 --> 00:14:55,331
- But at least he'll be alive.
- Thanks, man.
275
00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:58,401
We gotta get you outta here.
276
00:15:00,404 --> 00:15:02,531
Hang in there, partner.
277
00:15:02,606 --> 00:15:04,597
[Announcer]Coming this spring to a theater near you...
278
00:15:04,675 --> 00:15:07,701
The Head Detective.
279
00:15:07,778 --> 00:15:10,804
The Head always gets his man.
280
00:15:14,552 --> 00:15:17,783
Let's just forget it, man.
He's too far away. We'll never catch him.
281
00:15:17,855 --> 00:15:20,119
- Throw me at him.
- What?
282
00:15:20,191 --> 00:15:22,318
I said throw me at him.
I can do it, partner.
283
00:15:22,393 --> 00:15:25,362
- No way, man. Too dangerous!
- Just do it!
284
00:15:27,932 --> 00:15:29,832
Ah, watch my brain.
285
00:15:31,168 --> 00:15:35,298
- Way to go, man.!
- Freeze, slimeball.
286
00:15:35,373 --> 00:15:38,467
Don't make me chase you any further.
287
00:15:38,542 --> 00:15:40,476
[Announcer]And women find him irresistible.
288
00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:44,571
Yes! You've got incredible hands and feet,
you animal you.
289
00:15:44,648 --> 00:15:46,582
[Kissing]
290
00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:48,675
[Moaning]
291
00:15:50,087 --> 00:15:52,521
Oh, Detective Head...
292
00:15:52,590 --> 00:15:55,184
I never dreamed
it could be like this.
293
00:15:55,259 --> 00:15:59,525
You know what they say, baby. It's not what
a man's got, it's how he uses it that counts.
294
00:15:59,597 --> 00:16:01,531
Stop tickling my feet.
295
00:16:01,599 --> 00:16:06,332
The Head Detective.
Coming this spring to a theater near you.
296
00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:10,802
♪♪ [Disco]
297
00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:15,039
[Announcer] Cable access,Channel 62, presents Men On Film.
298
00:16:16,147 --> 00:16:18,615
[Applause]
299
00:16:23,687 --> 00:16:27,350
- Hello, I'm Blayne Edwards.
- And I'm Antoine Merrywether.
300
00:16:27,425 --> 00:16:29,916
[Together]
And welcome to Men On Films.
301
00:16:29,994 --> 00:16:34,090
- The show that looks at movies...
- From a male point of view.
302
00:16:34,165 --> 00:16:36,565
Tonight's show is sponsored by...
303
00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:46,699
Nuts & Honey.
304
00:16:46,777 --> 00:16:50,042
- What did you say?
- Nuttin', honey.
305
00:16:50,114 --> 00:16:52,776
I bet you can't eat just one.
306
00:16:52,850 --> 00:16:55,045
I bet I could.
307
00:16:55,119 --> 00:16:57,679
You're so crazy.
308
00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:59,780
[Giggling]
309
00:16:59,857 --> 00:17:02,348
Tonight we'll be wrapping up
the summer films.
310
00:17:02,426 --> 00:17:05,452
First up is the box-office smash
Total Recall.
311
00:17:05,529 --> 00:17:08,794
Yes, this is the movie
where muscle-bound Arnold Schwarzenegger...
312
00:17:08,866 --> 00:17:10,925
goes in search of his past.
313
00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:13,333
Just a hint, Arnold,
try looking in the closet.
314
00:17:13,404 --> 00:17:15,395
[Snickers]
315
00:17:15,473 --> 00:17:18,306
Next we have Betsy's Wedding.
316
00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:21,003
[Together]
Hated it.
317
00:17:21,078 --> 00:17:23,012
Then there's Ghost.
318
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:26,538
You know, Patrick Swayze
was the real standout in this film.
319
00:17:26,617 --> 00:17:30,075
You know, I'd breathe life
into his spirit any day.
320
00:17:30,154 --> 00:17:33,248
Even if I did have to go
through Whoopi Goldberg.
321
00:17:34,892 --> 00:17:37,554
- Perish the thought.
- Yes, indeed.
322
00:17:37,628 --> 00:17:39,562
Now we come to Dick Tracy.
323
00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:42,929
You know, I love the title,
but the movie just left me limp.
324
00:17:45,136 --> 00:17:48,128
I know what you're saying.
This is... This is what I don't get.
325
00:17:48,205 --> 00:17:52,039
All the characters fit their names.
You know, Flattop had a flattop.
326
00:17:52,109 --> 00:17:54,703
Pruneface looked
just like a little prune.
327
00:17:54,778 --> 00:17:57,338
But I never got the chance to see...
[Mouthing Words]
328
00:17:58,349 --> 00:18:00,374
I know I wanted to.
329
00:18:02,453 --> 00:18:04,444
What's wrong with you?
330
00:18:06,857 --> 00:18:08,848
It's hot in here.
331
00:18:11,629 --> 00:18:14,496
Oh. Then there's
Pretty Woman.
332
00:18:14,565 --> 00:18:17,534
[Together]
Hated it.
333
00:18:17,601 --> 00:18:22,231
- This one should have been called
A Fish Called Julia.
- Oooh.
334
00:18:22,306 --> 00:18:26,436
Next, Eddie Murphy was back
in Another 48 Hours.
335
00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:29,877
You know, I'm sorry. This movie
just got off on the wrong track.
336
00:18:29,947 --> 00:18:32,939
I feel that they should have spent
more time where the real story is.
337
00:18:33,017 --> 00:18:34,951
- Mm-hmm.
- In the prisons.
338
00:18:35,019 --> 00:18:39,956
I'd like to see more about them old sweaty mens
all together in them tiny little cells...
339
00:18:40,024 --> 00:18:42,652
with no one to turn to
but each others.
340
00:18:45,129 --> 00:18:47,393
Ooh, drop the soap.
I'll get it.
341
00:18:53,237 --> 00:18:55,228
Hush.
342
00:19:00,978 --> 00:19:03,412
- Really?
- You know I can wait.
343
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,916
Then we come to Spike Lee's
Mo'Better Blues.
344
00:19:06,984 --> 00:19:10,215
I'm sorry. I didn't care for it.
It just didn't put no toot in my horn.
345
00:19:11,222 --> 00:19:13,213
I'm sorry,
but I liked this one.
346
00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:16,987
I mean, little Spike Lee
outdone himself this time.
347
00:19:17,061 --> 00:19:19,723
He really stretched out
in a dual role...
348
00:19:19,797 --> 00:19:23,927
as both the lead character's
manager and love interest.
349
00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:25,935
Oh, he was okay
as the manager...
350
00:19:26,003 --> 00:19:29,166
but, ooh, he just thrilled me to death
in those gripping love scenes...
351
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,767
with big old handsome
Denzel Washington.
352
00:19:32,843 --> 00:19:36,677
What courage it must have taken
for little Spike Lee to take off them glasses...
353
00:19:36,747 --> 00:19:39,113
and let that little hair
get knotty and say...
354
00:19:39,183 --> 00:19:44,644
"Hey, this is me.
Here I am. See me, love me."
355
00:19:45,723 --> 00:19:49,159
Hello! Put the car in park.
356
00:19:49,226 --> 00:19:53,356
The love interest was played
by Spike Lee's little sister, Joi.
357
00:19:53,430 --> 00:19:56,365
Well, touch me in the morning
and then just walk away.
358
00:20:07,344 --> 00:20:10,836
I don't know. I think you should go see
this again, then you tell me who's who.
359
00:20:10,914 --> 00:20:14,714
- Yeah, well, you can go without me.
- 'Toine.
360
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,315
Don't get mad.
361
00:20:18,389 --> 00:20:20,414
- 'Toine.
- Okay.
362
00:20:24,862 --> 00:20:29,026
Finally, we have Die Harder.
What a way to go!
363
00:20:29,099 --> 00:20:31,693
Ninety minutes
with Mr. Bruce Willis.
364
00:20:31,769 --> 00:20:35,068
Oh, yes. Don't tempt my tummy
with the taste of Nuts & Honey.
365
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:38,501
Crazy.
366
00:20:38,575 --> 00:20:42,807
You know, the only thing I didn't
understand was all the violence in the film...
367
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,041
'cause the title
suggested a love story.
368
00:20:45,115 --> 00:20:48,050
Mm-hmm.
I second that emotion.
369
00:20:48,118 --> 00:20:51,417
I think this one still deserves
the new and improved...
370
00:20:51,488 --> 00:20:55,720
[Together]
Two snaps, a twist and a kiss.
371
00:20:55,793 --> 00:20:58,523
Stop. Can't touch this.
372
00:21:00,664 --> 00:21:02,598
Well, that's our show.
373
00:21:02,666 --> 00:21:06,261
Next week, we'll be looking at Air America,
starring Mel Gibson...
374
00:21:06,337 --> 00:21:08,271
and little Robert DowneyJrs.
375
00:21:08,339 --> 00:21:11,866
- Pilot to copilot, we're going down in flames.
- [Giggles]
376
00:21:11,942 --> 00:21:13,876
[Together]
Bye, now.
377
00:21:13,944 --> 00:21:15,878
♪♪ [Disco]
378
00:21:28,892 --> 00:21:31,884
We'll see you next week.
Good night.
379
00:22:34,992 --> 00:22:38,393
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
380
00:22:38,462 --> 00:22:40,259
♪ In living color♪♪
31963
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof