All language subtitles for In Living Color s02e17 - DVDrip.Xvid.mp3

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,324 --> 00:00:05,986 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 2 00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,187 ♪ In living color♪ 3 00:00:09,263 --> 00:00:11,823 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 4 00:00:11,899 --> 00:00:15,130 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 5 00:00:15,202 --> 00:00:19,195 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 6 00:00:19,273 --> 00:00:21,468 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 7 00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:24,010 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 8 00:00:24,078 --> 00:00:27,639 - ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 9 00:00:27,715 --> 00:00:30,809 ♪ And how would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 10 00:00:30,885 --> 00:00:33,012 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 11 00:00:33,087 --> 00:00:35,885 - ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 12 00:00:35,957 --> 00:00:39,051 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 13 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,117 ♪ In living color♪ 14 00:00:42,496 --> 00:00:44,430 ♪ In living color♪ 15 00:00:44,498 --> 00:00:47,160 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 16 00:00:47,234 --> 00:00:52,399 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 17 00:00:52,473 --> 00:00:54,668 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 18 00:00:54,742 --> 00:00:57,176 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 19 00:00:57,244 --> 00:00:59,178 ♪ Everybody, everybody everybody, everybody ♪ 20 00:00:59,246 --> 00:01:02,977 - ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 21 00:01:03,050 --> 00:01:05,348 ♪ What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine ♪ 22 00:01:05,419 --> 00:01:07,580 ♪ In living c-c-c-olor♪ 23 00:01:08,990 --> 00:01:12,357 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 24 00:01:12,426 --> 00:01:15,122 ♪ In living color♪ 25 00:01:15,196 --> 00:01:17,391 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 26 00:01:17,465 --> 00:01:19,660 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 27 00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:21,668 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 28 00:01:21,736 --> 00:01:25,570 - ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 29 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:30,600 ♪ You can do what you wanna do in living color♪♪ 30 00:01:30,678 --> 00:01:35,274 [Audience Applauding, Cheering] 31 00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:38,651 ♪♪ [Rock] 32 00:01:38,719 --> 00:01:41,381 The Prison Cable Network proudly presents... 33 00:01:41,455 --> 00:01:43,389 Win, Lose or Draw... 34 00:01:43,457 --> 00:01:48,224 with your host, 680031, Angel Martinez.! 35 00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:51,664 - [Music Ends] - Ay, ay, ay, ay! 36 00:01:51,732 --> 00:01:54,826 All right! Ay! Gracias, Warden Thomas. 37 00:01:54,902 --> 00:01:56,995 Tonight's a very special night for us because... 38 00:01:57,071 --> 00:01:59,198 I'm going to give you hint. ¡Muchachas.! 39 00:01:59,273 --> 00:02:01,036 - [Howling, Whistling] - The women... 40 00:02:01,108 --> 00:02:04,771 of the Cleveland Highlands Correctional Facility are here to play our game with us. 41 00:02:04,845 --> 00:02:07,040 - So, first, let's meet the ladies. - [Men Howling] 42 00:02:07,114 --> 00:02:09,105 First up, there's Blaze. 43 00:02:09,183 --> 00:02:11,617 [Cheering, Applause] 44 00:02:11,686 --> 00:02:13,779 That's one hot mama. 45 00:02:13,854 --> 00:02:16,288 Next is Lobotomy. 46 00:02:16,357 --> 00:02:19,952 She spends her free time volunteering for medical experiments. 47 00:02:20,027 --> 00:02:23,121 And last, but not least, Buster. 48 00:02:23,197 --> 00:02:25,461 [Cheering, Applause] 49 00:02:25,533 --> 00:02:29,526 You might know her last husband. He sings soprano for the prison choir. 50 00:02:29,603 --> 00:02:32,629 - Nothing wrong with that, man! - [Laughing] 51 00:02:32,707 --> 00:02:34,800 Now, are you ready to meet our reigning champions? 52 00:02:34,875 --> 00:02:37,742 Even though you might know them, I'll do it again, okay? 53 00:02:37,812 --> 00:02:39,871 First up, Charlie. 54 00:02:39,947 --> 00:02:41,938 [Cheering, Applause] 55 00:02:43,551 --> 00:02:45,815 - Next, Tiny. - Ha ha ha... 56 00:02:45,886 --> 00:02:47,820 Tiny! Right! 57 00:02:47,888 --> 00:02:50,686 And of course, Big Hector. 58 00:02:50,758 --> 00:02:52,692 [Charlie] Groovy, Hector.! 59 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,161 Oh, and of course, next to Big Hector, like always, Chicken. 60 00:02:56,230 --> 00:02:58,255 [Charlie Clucking] 61 00:02:58,332 --> 00:03:00,823 - [Cheering, Applause] - Now let's play the game. 62 00:03:00,901 --> 00:03:04,359 We'll start with the ladies, okay? Hey, Blaze, come on. 63 00:03:04,438 --> 00:03:06,702 - Go on, Blaze.! Go on. Whoo.! - Hey, Blaze... 64 00:03:06,774 --> 00:03:09,402 why don't you tell us a little bit of something about yourself? 65 00:03:09,477 --> 00:03:12,105 Well, Angel, I collect matchbooks... 66 00:03:12,179 --> 00:03:14,113 I love to barbecue... 67 00:03:14,181 --> 00:03:16,274 and my idea of a romantic evening... 68 00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:19,319 is to curl up in front of a blazing building. 69 00:03:19,386 --> 00:03:21,445 Ay yi yi yi yi! 70 00:03:21,522 --> 00:03:25,458 Huh? Is it just me or am I getting really, really hot? [Laughs] 71 00:03:26,694 --> 00:03:28,958 Sounds great. Okay, let's begin, okay? 72 00:03:29,029 --> 00:03:31,520 Our first clue will be an emotion. 73 00:03:35,936 --> 00:03:39,030 Rage.! A-Anger.! 74 00:03:39,106 --> 00:03:41,040 - [Angel] No, no, no, no. - No, no! Bloodlust! 75 00:03:41,108 --> 00:03:43,770 - Bloodlust.! - No, I think more of... it's a happy emotion, okay? 76 00:03:45,946 --> 00:03:47,880 Total numbness. 77 00:03:47,948 --> 00:03:49,882 I have to have you, Buster! I want you! 78 00:03:50,951 --> 00:03:53,749 - Vasectomy! - Never mind. 79 00:03:53,821 --> 00:03:56,016 Uh, Rupture? Rupture.! 80 00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:58,650 A hernia! A ruptured hernia! 81 00:03:58,726 --> 00:04:00,956 No, no, no. It's a happy emotion. Anyone? 82 00:04:01,028 --> 00:04:03,326 - Take the blue pills? - [Buzzer] 83 00:04:03,397 --> 00:04:05,957 Time's up. Guys, can you steal this one? 84 00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:07,967 - [Chattering] - Is it... 85 00:04:08,035 --> 00:04:11,436 the satisfaction of stabbing a guard 57 times? 86 00:04:11,505 --> 00:04:13,132 - [Bell Dinging] - That's it, man! 87 00:04:13,207 --> 00:04:15,505 - [Men Howling] - [Chattering] 88 00:04:15,576 --> 00:04:19,603 Stabbing a guard 57 times! I should have got that one! 89 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,671 - Now, Charlie, come up, man. - All right, man. 90 00:04:21,749 --> 00:04:23,842 Hey, Charlie, have you done a lot of drawing? 91 00:04:23,918 --> 00:04:26,944 Not really, man. I've done a lot of sculpture, though. 92 00:04:27,021 --> 00:04:29,114 Mostly, I like to carve human figures. 93 00:04:29,190 --> 00:04:33,126 - [Cackling] - Ay yi yi yi yi. 94 00:04:33,194 --> 00:04:35,458 - Oh. - Okay, Charlie... 95 00:04:35,529 --> 00:04:37,463 let me tell you a little bit about this puzzle, okay? 96 00:04:37,531 --> 00:04:39,465 Wait a second! 97 00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:42,969 - Is it a place? - Yes. How... How do you know that? 98 00:04:44,205 --> 00:04:47,197 I'm right inside your head. [Giggles] 99 00:04:50,211 --> 00:04:54,477 Oh.! Oh, I got this one. Uh, is it a... a... a woman? 100 00:04:54,548 --> 00:04:56,277 No. A buxom woman. 101 00:04:56,350 --> 00:04:59,342 No. A buxom woman with big breastesses? 102 00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:01,285 I said a place, man! 103 00:05:01,355 --> 00:05:05,189 - A woman with really, really big breastesses in a place? - [Buzzer] 104 00:05:05,259 --> 00:05:08,490 Uh, no, no. Ladies, can you steal this one? 105 00:05:10,664 --> 00:05:12,928 The Continental United States? 106 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,163 - That's it, man! The Continental United States. - [Bell Dinging] 107 00:05:16,237 --> 00:05:18,933 You guys should have got that one, man. You guys weren't even thinking, man. 108 00:05:19,006 --> 00:05:20,940 I think if you look again... 109 00:05:21,008 --> 00:05:24,500 it's really a woman with two big breasts in a place. 110 00:05:24,578 --> 00:05:27,604 Oh, yes, yes. As a matter of fact, he's right. She's right in Florida. 111 00:05:27,681 --> 00:05:29,808 I didn't see her. Big Hector's team wins again. 112 00:05:29,884 --> 00:05:31,818 - I'm very sorry. - [Bell Dinging] 113 00:05:31,886 --> 00:05:34,116 - [Cheering] - [Grumbling] 114 00:05:34,188 --> 00:05:37,021 That's bull crap! [Shouting, Indistinct] 115 00:05:37,091 --> 00:05:39,958 I want you, Buster! I got to have you, baby! 116 00:05:40,027 --> 00:05:42,461 - I gotta... - Put your head between your legs. 117 00:05:42,529 --> 00:05:45,521 I want you Lobotomy! I got to have you! [Laughing Maniacally] 118 00:05:45,599 --> 00:05:48,124 - I want you! - Just breathe. Just breathe, man! 119 00:05:48,202 --> 00:05:49,863 Just breathe. 120 00:05:49,937 --> 00:05:52,405 Okay. Now what this means is is that Big Hector's team... 121 00:05:52,473 --> 00:05:54,566 advances to the speed round, okay? 122 00:05:54,642 --> 00:05:59,079 All right. Now, they'll have 30 seconds to name Hector's four pictures. 123 00:05:59,146 --> 00:06:01,706 Okay. Come on, Big Hector! Come up here. Come on. 124 00:06:01,782 --> 00:06:03,613 - Come on, guys! - Yeah! 125 00:06:03,684 --> 00:06:05,811 [Charlie] Let's establish a psychic link.! 126 00:06:10,291 --> 00:06:11,986 - Vehicular homicide? - [Bell Dings] 127 00:06:12,059 --> 00:06:14,027 Yeah! 128 00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:22,897 The dog that told me to shoot Rick Dees! 129 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:25,234 - [Bell Dinging] - [Tiny] Yeah.! 130 00:06:25,306 --> 00:06:29,436 Oh! I know this. Oh. Oh, Uh, a woman with big breastesses... 131 00:06:30,644 --> 00:06:32,578 uh, on Golden Pond! 132 00:06:32,646 --> 00:06:35,444 - [Bell Dings] - [Tiny] Yeah.! 133 00:06:35,516 --> 00:06:41,284 Uh, I got this. Uh, birds flying over a woman with... with big breastesses? 134 00:06:41,355 --> 00:06:44,324 - [Bell Dings] - Yeah! Yeah! 135 00:06:44,391 --> 00:06:46,450 - [Cheering, Applause] - [Shouting, Indistinct] 136 00:06:46,527 --> 00:06:48,620 Off of you! 137 00:06:48,696 --> 00:06:52,291 All right! That means your team has guessed all four of them. 138 00:06:52,366 --> 00:06:56,302 Warden Thomas, can you tell them what beautiful gifts they have won? 139 00:06:56,370 --> 00:06:58,463 - ♪♪ [Rock] - [Warden] Well, Big Hector's team... 140 00:06:58,539 --> 00:07:02,737 you've each won an elegant personal grooming kit from the prison supply house. 141 00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:04,744 And for the prisoner who has everything... 142 00:07:04,812 --> 00:07:07,144 but doesn't want to give it up... Soap on a Rope. 143 00:07:07,214 --> 00:07:10,741 All right.! Well, that's it. 144 00:07:10,818 --> 00:07:12,911 I hope you enjoyed it. 145 00:07:12,987 --> 00:07:15,080 That's it for Win, Lose or Draw. 146 00:07:15,155 --> 00:07:17,248 Until tomorrow, this is Angel saying... 147 00:07:17,324 --> 00:07:21,488 "Keep drawing, even if it's only scratch marks on the inside of your cell wall." 148 00:07:21,562 --> 00:07:23,894 ♪♪ [Rock Continues] 149 00:07:31,605 --> 00:07:33,368 I know why you're ignoring me. 150 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,773 It's because I'm just little Marsha Warfield. 151 00:07:36,844 --> 00:07:39,779 But you see, Todd, I'm drinking milk. 152 00:07:42,783 --> 00:07:44,717 And when you drink milk... 153 00:07:44,785 --> 00:07:47,777 it helps to build your bones and make your body stronger. 154 00:07:47,855 --> 00:07:51,450 That way I won't always be little Marsha Warfield. 155 00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:53,789 In fact, if I keep drinking milk... 156 00:07:54,995 --> 00:07:57,964 one day, I'm going to be big Marsha Warfield. 157 00:07:58,032 --> 00:08:00,193 You understand what I'm saying, sucker? 158 00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:02,565 As a matter of fact, I think when I am... 159 00:08:02,636 --> 00:08:05,400 I'm just gonna kick the livin' crap out of you. 160 00:08:05,472 --> 00:08:08,066 Come over here. Where you get off... 161 00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:10,076 ignoring me all these years... 162 00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:12,135 huh, you little punk? 163 00:08:13,313 --> 00:08:15,577 Don't you know how sexy I am? 164 00:08:15,649 --> 00:08:18,982 [Announcer] Milk... it does a body real good. 165 00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:32,024 And so the progress up to this point... 166 00:08:32,099 --> 00:08:34,431 has been about what we expected... 167 00:08:34,501 --> 00:08:38,460 and we expect this progression to progress the way we expect it to... 168 00:08:38,539 --> 00:08:42,942 at least, that is, our expectation as to this point in the overall progress. 169 00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:46,605 - Are there any more questions? - We have heard rumors of massive troop movements. 170 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,841 Can you tell us anything about that? 171 00:08:48,916 --> 00:08:51,146 I can neither confirm nor deny that. Next? 172 00:08:51,218 --> 00:08:53,914 Why do you still consider men missing... 173 00:08:53,987 --> 00:08:57,354 when we've all seen them as prisoners of war on TV? 174 00:08:57,424 --> 00:09:01,019 I believe I didn't answer that question at yesterday's briefing. 175 00:09:01,095 --> 00:09:04,553 - Is the gulf still being mined? - Admiral Keating? 176 00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,599 Could you repeat the question, please? 177 00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:09,431 - Is the gulf still being mined? - Could you repeat it again, please? 178 00:09:09,503 --> 00:09:13,940 - Is the gulf still being mined? - No comment. 179 00:09:14,007 --> 00:09:17,067 Can you give us any more information on the bomb damage assessment? 180 00:09:17,144 --> 00:09:19,908 I believe we have a video to help illustrate this. 181 00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:23,472 As you can clearly see, this is a plane flying somewhere. 182 00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:26,576 It drops something and something happens. 183 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:30,419 There is a thing there. And then afterwards, there may or may not be a thing there. 184 00:09:30,491 --> 00:09:32,755 I hope that clears everything up. 185 00:09:32,826 --> 00:09:34,521 I have a two-part question. 186 00:09:34,595 --> 00:09:36,893 What would it take to end the war... 187 00:09:36,964 --> 00:09:39,694 and will the U.S. Accept a post-war Iraq... 188 00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:42,098 with Saddam Hussein still in power? 189 00:09:42,169 --> 00:09:44,694 I think I can answer that in two ways. Number one... 190 00:09:44,771 --> 00:09:47,103 that's for me to know and you to find out. 191 00:09:47,174 --> 00:09:50,109 And number two, ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies... 192 00:09:50,177 --> 00:09:53,635 your nose is big enough for a girl twice your size. 193 00:09:53,714 --> 00:09:55,807 Would you ever use nuclear weapons? 194 00:09:55,883 --> 00:09:57,874 I'm not gonna tell, your feet smell... 195 00:09:57,951 --> 00:09:59,885 ask me again, you can go to hell. 196 00:09:59,953 --> 00:10:03,116 That's about all the questions we have time not to answer today. 197 00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:05,283 The attachés will be handing out printed copies... 198 00:10:05,359 --> 00:10:07,293 of all the information we didn't give you. 199 00:10:07,361 --> 00:10:09,295 There will be another briefing tomorrow... 200 00:10:09,363 --> 00:10:12,093 and we will be prepared to not answer any more questions you have then. 201 00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:16,102 - Sir, what time? - We'd rather not say. 202 00:10:19,873 --> 00:10:23,036 This has been a particularly non-informative briefing. 203 00:10:23,110 --> 00:10:26,238 We'll be right back to recap everything they didn't say... 204 00:10:26,313 --> 00:10:28,474 next on C.N.N. 205 00:10:37,224 --> 00:10:40,216 ♪♪ [Hip-Hop] 206 00:11:10,691 --> 00:11:13,956 You said yourself you don't know how to speak to these people. 207 00:11:14,027 --> 00:11:16,120 This guy is from here. They trust him. 208 00:11:16,196 --> 00:11:18,130 He speaks their language. 209 00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:20,132 [Sighs] Well... 210 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,634 I guess B.B. King worked for Atwater. 211 00:11:22,703 --> 00:11:24,637 Okay, let's do it. 212 00:11:24,705 --> 00:11:26,639 [Chanting] Helmsly! Helmsly! Helmsly! 213 00:11:26,707 --> 00:11:29,835 [Cheering] 214 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,973 Hey, y'all! [Chuckles] 215 00:11:36,049 --> 00:11:40,145 I've been your senator now for about seven years... 216 00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:42,484 and, uh, with a little help from you... 217 00:11:42,556 --> 00:11:45,320 I'll be your senator for another seven years. 218 00:11:45,392 --> 00:11:47,383 - How about that? - [Cheering] 219 00:11:48,395 --> 00:11:51,125 Sure, you can applaud for that! 220 00:11:51,198 --> 00:11:54,656 You know, I could go on forever out here... 221 00:11:54,735 --> 00:11:58,171 but I think it's time for a little musical entertainment. 222 00:11:58,238 --> 00:12:01,173 I'd like to introduce a very talented songwriter... 223 00:12:01,241 --> 00:12:04,768 and a dear, dear friend of mine... 224 00:12:04,845 --> 00:12:07,678 Mr. Calhoun Tibbs! 225 00:12:07,748 --> 00:12:09,716 Thank you! Thank you very much. All right! 226 00:12:09,783 --> 00:12:12,274 Thank you. All right. Thank you. 227 00:12:12,352 --> 00:12:15,583 And the name is Tubbs. Thank you very much. 228 00:12:15,656 --> 00:12:17,590 - About time you changed that. - Ladies and gentlemen... 229 00:12:17,658 --> 00:12:19,785 I ain't runnin' for no public office... 230 00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:21,794 so I can tell the truth. 231 00:12:21,862 --> 00:12:25,628 Now, look here, I've been in this neighborhood over 35 years. 232 00:12:25,699 --> 00:12:29,795 Seen 'em come and go. And I done known the senator ever since he first come up. 233 00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:33,806 See, to make it in politics, you got to have a gimmick. 234 00:12:33,874 --> 00:12:36,240 The senator got him a gimmick... me. 235 00:12:36,310 --> 00:12:40,576 Matter of fact, he started my career by giving me my first job. 236 00:12:40,647 --> 00:12:43,980 Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go. 237 00:12:44,051 --> 00:12:46,815 ♪ I shined Senator Helmsly's shoes for a penny ♪ 238 00:12:46,887 --> 00:12:50,823 ♪ Ain't never got paid Uh-huh ♪ 239 00:12:50,891 --> 00:12:53,155 Thank you very much. All right. 240 00:12:53,226 --> 00:12:55,160 All right. Now, you know what? 241 00:12:55,228 --> 00:12:59,028 I know some of y'all say the good senator don't care about the little people. 242 00:12:59,099 --> 00:13:01,033 But I know that ain't true... 243 00:13:01,101 --> 00:13:04,593 'cause this man here, he own five buildings right here in this neighborhood. 244 00:13:04,671 --> 00:13:06,764 And he always take a personal interest... 245 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,774 in every one of his tenants. 246 00:13:08,842 --> 00:13:11,640 Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go. 247 00:13:11,712 --> 00:13:14,681 ♪ Now, the senator is my landlord ♪ 248 00:13:14,748 --> 00:13:19,617 ♪ I seen him throw old ladies out in the gutter, uh-huh ♪ 249 00:13:19,686 --> 00:13:21,620 - [Murmuring] - Thank you very much! All right! 250 00:13:21,688 --> 00:13:24,555 [Laughs] But look here. You know what? 251 00:13:24,624 --> 00:13:26,683 I always tell the little babies... 252 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,921 "Stay off the junk and you'll go far." 253 00:13:28,995 --> 00:13:32,795 See, that's what's so amazing about this man right here. 254 00:13:32,866 --> 00:13:34,834 From the minute he took office... 255 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:38,962 he always got himself personally involved in the war on the drugs. 256 00:13:39,039 --> 00:13:41,132 He even started his own drug program. 257 00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:44,143 I ain't write no song about that, but I think I could right now. 258 00:13:44,211 --> 00:13:45,803 Like to hear it? Here it go. 259 00:13:45,879 --> 00:13:48,643 ♪ The senator knows about drugs ♪ 260 00:13:48,715 --> 00:13:50,945 ♪ He been a dope-head for 30 years♪ 261 00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:53,815 - ♪ Uh-huh ♪ - [Commotion] 262 00:13:53,887 --> 00:13:55,980 - Thank you very much! - Wait a minute. 263 00:13:56,056 --> 00:13:59,321 Uh, that does not effect my decision-making in any way. 264 00:13:59,393 --> 00:14:03,591 Now, you know what? I know some of y'all done heard them nasty rumors... 265 00:14:03,663 --> 00:14:06,427 about the senator running around with other women. 266 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,934 But I'm here to tell you, now I know for a fact that ain't true. 267 00:14:09,002 --> 00:14:12,597 That is not true. That senator would never touch no female. 268 00:14:12,672 --> 00:14:15,436 Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go. 269 00:14:15,675 --> 00:14:18,439 ♪ The senator don't fool around with no women ♪ 270 00:14:18,512 --> 00:14:20,776 ♪ He prefers men who dress in leather ♪ 271 00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:22,940 - ♪ Uh-huh ♪ - [Commotion] 272 00:14:23,016 --> 00:14:25,007 Thank you very much! All right. 273 00:14:25,085 --> 00:14:28,111 They were all consenting adults! 274 00:14:28,188 --> 00:14:31,021 - Everyone of them! - [Booing] 275 00:14:31,091 --> 00:14:34,117 - [Mumbling] - [Talking, Indistinct] 276 00:14:34,194 --> 00:14:37,186 [Booing Continues] 277 00:14:46,579 --> 00:14:48,570 Just go and have a seat. 278 00:14:50,583 --> 00:14:52,813 [Exhales Deeply] 279 00:14:52,886 --> 00:14:55,821 Thank you for your deposit here at First Intrastate Sperm Bank. 280 00:14:58,258 --> 00:15:00,988 - Okay, nobody move! This is a hold up! - Hey! Wha... What? 281 00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:04,257 - Hey. Listen... - No, you listen! 282 00:15:04,330 --> 00:15:06,264 I'm your worst nightmare. 283 00:15:06,332 --> 00:15:09,961 I'm 39, I'm childless, and I'm ovulating! 284 00:15:10,036 --> 00:15:13,972 So you give me Denzel Washington's deposit right now! 285 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,804 Listen, um, um, l-I'm sorry... 286 00:15:16,876 --> 00:15:19,140 but Denzel Washington doesn't have an account here. 287 00:15:19,212 --> 00:15:21,578 Look, uh, we've got Milli Vanilli. 288 00:15:21,648 --> 00:15:25,379 That could be anybody's! What else you got? 289 00:15:25,451 --> 00:15:28,215 - Listen, we've gotJames Worthy somewhere. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 290 00:15:28,288 --> 00:15:31,052 You and everybody else! Now, stop stalling! 291 00:15:31,124 --> 00:15:34,184 You know, there are more conventional ways to go about this. 292 00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:37,661 And I've tried them all! I tried the personal ads. 293 00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:40,164 I tried the prison pen pals. 294 00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:42,667 Girl, I was on the Love Connection five times... 295 00:15:42,735 --> 00:15:45,226 and only four percent of the audience voted for me. 296 00:15:45,305 --> 00:15:47,671 Well, l-I'm sure it's gonna be okay. 297 00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:51,335 - Just... We'll cooperate, just relax. Calm down. - [Car Horn Honking] 298 00:15:51,411 --> 00:15:54,847 All right, Mama! I'm coming! Just wait! 299 00:15:54,914 --> 00:15:56,848 Look, you don't understand, girl. 300 00:15:56,916 --> 00:16:01,285 My biological time clock went off two years ago. Two years ago! 301 00:16:01,354 --> 00:16:05,450 So if I don't leave here with some swollen ankles and a pickle in my mouth... 302 00:16:05,525 --> 00:16:08,722 I'm gonna take out the whole sports collection. 303 00:16:08,795 --> 00:16:11,263 Hey, hey. Why don't you just take me and let the specimens go free? 304 00:16:12,365 --> 00:16:14,799 Oh, yeah. That's what I need, huh? 305 00:16:14,867 --> 00:16:16,801 Some man whose idea of a romantic evening... 306 00:16:16,869 --> 00:16:19,269 is sittin' home pickin' out his toe jam? 307 00:16:19,339 --> 00:16:21,534 Oh, come on, lady! Just take him and go! 308 00:16:21,608 --> 00:16:23,542 We was having so much fun till you showed up! 309 00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:26,875 I'm ain't leaving with nobody who's dating a Dixie cup! 310 00:16:26,946 --> 00:16:28,880 Go ahead, rub it in! 311 00:16:28,948 --> 00:16:31,473 You know, I haven't been with a woman in a long time, all right? 312 00:16:31,551 --> 00:16:33,644 My water bed has barnacles growing on it! 313 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:37,156 You know how boring my life is? I saw you on Love Connection all five times. 314 00:16:37,223 --> 00:16:40,488 - Hell, I even voted for you! - You did? 315 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:44,997 Except for the time your mother came up and backhanded Chuck, but, I mean, other than that... 316 00:16:45,064 --> 00:16:49,501 - And you like me? You really like me? - You know that's right. 317 00:16:49,569 --> 00:16:54,597 Excuse me. Do you think you can please take this elsewhere? This is a place of business. 318 00:16:54,674 --> 00:16:58,075 - Oh, baby. Yeah. - Come on. Let's get out of here. 319 00:16:58,144 --> 00:17:00,078 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 320 00:17:00,146 --> 00:17:02,614 [Machine Gun Fire] 321 00:17:02,682 --> 00:17:07,210 I just saved the world from another generation of New Kids on the Block. 322 00:17:11,190 --> 00:17:14,182 ♪♪ [Hip-Hop] 323 00:17:47,393 --> 00:17:50,385 [Cheering, Applause] 324 00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:57,002 Told ya. We were back in two and two. 325 00:17:57,070 --> 00:17:59,004 Welcome back to Love Connection. 326 00:17:59,072 --> 00:18:02,667 If I'm not Chuck Woolery, why am I sleeping with his wife? [Laughing] 327 00:18:04,744 --> 00:18:07,440 Let's meet our next couple, back to tell us how their date went. 328 00:18:07,513 --> 00:18:11,108 She's a controversial comedienne who knows what she wants from a guy... 329 00:18:11,184 --> 00:18:13,618 Andrea Dice Clay! 330 00:18:13,686 --> 00:18:16,280 [Applause, Cheering] 331 00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:18,824 - Hi, Andrea. - Yeah. Kiss, kiss. 332 00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:22,827 Hey, Chuck, I, uh, made a little rhyme for you backstage. 333 00:18:22,895 --> 00:18:24,829 It goes something like this. 334 00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:28,264 Chuck, Chuck, bo-buck, banana-fanna-fo... 335 00:18:28,334 --> 00:18:30,302 - Okay! - Whatever. 336 00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,338 He considers himself a sensitive guy... 337 00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:34,339 and a man who treats his date like a lady... 338 00:18:34,407 --> 00:18:36,341 even though he's a major movie star. 339 00:18:36,409 --> 00:18:38,343 Say hello to Patrick Swayze! 340 00:18:38,411 --> 00:18:40,971 [Cheering, Applause] 341 00:18:41,047 --> 00:18:42,981 Hello, Chuck. 342 00:18:43,049 --> 00:18:46,041 I just want to say that I watch this show often and, well... 343 00:18:48,054 --> 00:18:50,181 I love you, man. 344 00:18:51,724 --> 00:18:53,658 That's great, Patrick. 345 00:18:53,726 --> 00:18:56,160 Andrea might be a little more receptive to that love, however. 346 00:18:56,229 --> 00:18:59,323 - What about it, Andrea? - Chuck, you know something... 347 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:01,424 I'm not looking for love, you know? 348 00:19:01,501 --> 00:19:05,494 Just sh... [Beep] And get out the [Beep] outta my face. 349 00:19:10,009 --> 00:19:15,470 See? It's that very attitude that made our date such a disaster, Chuck. 350 00:19:15,548 --> 00:19:18,108 What disaster? I thought it went pretty good. 351 00:19:18,184 --> 00:19:20,482 I mean, we both finished. Ho! 352 00:19:23,256 --> 00:19:25,190 How did the date begin, Pat? 353 00:19:25,258 --> 00:19:27,954 I wanted to take her dancing. 354 00:19:28,027 --> 00:19:30,621 - I like to think of myself as a pretty good dancer. - Mm-hmm. 355 00:19:30,696 --> 00:19:33,256 - I was the star of Dirty Dancing and... - Yeah. 356 00:19:33,332 --> 00:19:35,391 You call that dancing? 357 00:19:35,468 --> 00:19:39,802 In that case, my dog does plenty of dancing with my couch pillows... 358 00:19:39,872 --> 00:19:43,364 only he's got a [Beep], you know what I'm saying? 359 00:19:45,578 --> 00:19:50,072 See what I mean, Chuck? She's an animal! 360 00:19:50,149 --> 00:19:52,743 Oh, stop your whining and complaining. 361 00:19:52,819 --> 00:19:56,152 I'm the one with the carpet burns on my [Beep]... 362 00:19:56,222 --> 00:19:58,213 for crying out loud! 363 00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:02,654 She's got a point there, Pat. 364 00:20:02,728 --> 00:20:06,858 Hey, I got two of'em, Chuckie. I seen you looking. What? 365 00:20:06,933 --> 00:20:10,266 - Maybe we should turn up the heat in the studio. - [Chuckles] 366 00:20:10,336 --> 00:20:12,998 Chuck, I'm into martial arts. 367 00:20:13,072 --> 00:20:15,666 - I've got an incredible body. - Mm-hmm. 368 00:20:15,741 --> 00:20:19,006 I'm practically a god, with these streaks and tips in my hair. 369 00:20:19,078 --> 00:20:22,013 - Yeah. - But I'm also sensitive. 370 00:20:22,081 --> 00:20:25,175 - Mm. - I only wanted to show Miss Clay... 371 00:20:25,251 --> 00:20:27,719 the finer points of the city. 372 00:20:27,787 --> 00:20:32,588 Oh, come on! I showed you places on your ceiling you ain't ever seen. 373 00:20:32,658 --> 00:20:36,025 - Ho! - Well, it looks like Andrea... 374 00:20:36,095 --> 00:20:38,029 wanted Patrick to live up to his screen image... 375 00:20:38,097 --> 00:20:41,931 while Patrick obviously expected to date within his own species. 376 00:20:46,272 --> 00:20:48,206 I'm killin' myself. 377 00:20:48,274 --> 00:20:50,401 Let's see who our audience picked for Andrea. 378 00:20:50,476 --> 00:20:53,377 Was it Patrick, Pete Townshend... 379 00:20:53,446 --> 00:20:55,437 or GraceJones? 380 00:20:59,118 --> 00:21:01,382 Well, the audience still picked Patrick... 381 00:21:01,454 --> 00:21:04,048 so if you two'd like to go out again, we'll pay for it. 382 00:21:05,424 --> 00:21:08,325 Sure, what the hell. I'll do honey buns again... 383 00:21:08,394 --> 00:21:10,328 if he'll cut his hair in a flat top... 384 00:21:10,396 --> 00:21:12,830 so I got someplace to set my drink... 385 00:21:12,899 --> 00:21:14,833 when [Beep], you know what I'm saying? 386 00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,227 What? 387 00:21:22,575 --> 00:21:24,600 Looks like it's up to you, Patrick. 388 00:21:24,677 --> 00:21:26,668 Do you want to go out with Andrea again? 389 00:21:26,746 --> 00:21:30,204 - My mama didn't raise no quitter, Chuck. - Well, there you have it. 390 00:21:30,283 --> 00:21:32,376 See you next week. In the meantime... 391 00:21:32,451 --> 00:21:35,386 may all of your dates be major and your carpet burns be minor. 392 00:21:35,454 --> 00:21:38,082 [Cheering, Applause] 393 00:21:45,765 --> 00:21:48,757 [Cheering, Applause] 394 00:21:53,606 --> 00:21:56,200 Skippy, could you do us a favor? 395 00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:58,709 - Tell them what to do. - [Laughs] 396 00:21:58,778 --> 00:22:00,939 [Shrill Squawking] 397 00:22:01,013 --> 00:22:04,574 - [Laughing] - [Cheering, Applause] 398 00:22:48,427 --> 00:22:50,793 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 33823

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.