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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,886 --> 00:00:03,820 [Announcer] On the outskirts of Reno... 2 00:00:03,888 --> 00:00:06,083 where the weather is hot and the women are hotter... 3 00:00:06,157 --> 00:00:09,752 there's a little spot called the Mustang Ranch... 4 00:00:09,827 --> 00:00:12,853 a place where prostitution is perfectly legal. 5 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:16,127 You get to choose your partner from a stable of gorgeous women... 6 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,499 then you can take them up to a private room for a roll in the hay. 7 00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:21,936 But if you plan on visiting this brothel... 8 00:00:22,006 --> 00:00:25,339 you better bring your rubbers and your Vista card. 9 00:00:25,410 --> 00:00:28,846 Because at the Mustang Ranch, they don't let you ride without a raincoat... 10 00:00:28,913 --> 00:00:31,211 and they don't take U.S. Express. 11 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:34,649 Vista... It's everywhere you want to be. 12 00:00:36,821 --> 00:00:38,880 - [Laughing] - ♪ In living color♪ 13 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:42,653 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 14 00:00:42,727 --> 00:00:44,661 ♪ In living color♪ 15 00:00:46,230 --> 00:00:50,894 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 16 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:53,129 ♪ In living color♪ 17 00:00:54,205 --> 00:00:56,139 ♪ In living color♪ 18 00:00:56,207 --> 00:00:58,141 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 19 00:00:58,209 --> 00:01:00,177 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 20 00:01:00,244 --> 00:01:02,144 - ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪ - Hi-yah! 21 00:01:02,213 --> 00:01:03,646 ♪ In living color♪ 22 00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:06,309 ♪ And how would ya... How would ya... How would ya f... ♪ 23 00:01:06,384 --> 00:01:08,318 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 24 00:01:08,386 --> 00:01:10,547 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 25 00:01:10,621 --> 00:01:14,079 [Echoing] ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ 26 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:17,616 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 27 00:01:17,695 --> 00:01:19,754 ♪ In living color♪ 28 00:01:20,832 --> 00:01:22,322 ♪ In living color♪ 29 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,927 - ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 30 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:30,269 - ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... wan... ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 31 00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:35,040 - ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 32 00:01:35,113 --> 00:01:39,049 - ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... wan... ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 33 00:01:39,117 --> 00:01:41,051 - [Turntable Scratching] - ♪ In living color♪♪ 34 00:01:41,119 --> 00:01:43,553 [Laughing] 35 00:01:47,492 --> 00:01:51,360 Hello, everyone, and welcome to C.J. McDoodle's newest location... 36 00:01:51,429 --> 00:01:53,556 Iocated right here in our midtown plaza. 37 00:01:53,631 --> 00:01:55,861 Now don't forget to try our new flavor for the day. 38 00:01:55,933 --> 00:01:59,869 It's sort of a tuna fish-Pop-Tarts-Starburst flavor... 39 00:01:59,937 --> 00:02:02,633 - [Others] Mmm! - But it's not. 40 00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:06,643 Okay. Now, please help me in welcoming one of my favorites... 41 00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:11,580 and I know he's one of yours... let's hear it for Wile E. Coyote! 42 00:02:11,649 --> 00:02:15,016 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 43 00:02:15,086 --> 00:02:19,580 ♪♪ [Sings Hip-hop] Come on, kids. You know what I'm sayin'? Yeah. Say... 44 00:02:19,657 --> 00:02:22,251 ♪♪ [Continues] Yeah. All right. 45 00:02:22,326 --> 00:02:24,920 - All right. Kill. Cut, cut, cut. - ♪♪ [Stops] 46 00:02:24,996 --> 00:02:29,194 I no longer go by that slave, cartoon name, "Wile E. Coyote"... 47 00:02:29,267 --> 00:02:31,497 but I go by "Willy Coyote"... 48 00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:35,300 'cause I got your back, Snoop Doggy Dogg. Hell, yeah. 49 00:02:37,041 --> 00:02:41,671 - Okay, Willy, uh... - Hey, I hear that "patronistic" sound in your voice. 50 00:02:41,746 --> 00:02:44,874 [Chuckles] Okay. Well, he'll be here for another seven hours, kids. 51 00:02:44,949 --> 00:02:47,782 So don't be shy. Come up and ask a few questions, okay? 52 00:02:49,387 --> 00:02:52,151 - Hi, Mr. Coyote. - Hey, hey, hey. How you doin'? Don't get too close. 53 00:02:52,223 --> 00:02:54,987 - I know about you white women. - My son thinks your show is so funny. 54 00:02:55,059 --> 00:02:58,085 He just loves you and that little Roadrunner. 55 00:02:58,162 --> 00:03:02,428 - Ha, ha. You'll never catch him. - Tell you what. I'm the one that made the Roadrunner. 56 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:05,628 I caught him, but see, they don't wanna show you a brother catchin' a brother... 57 00:03:05,703 --> 00:03:08,672 'cause they think I'll try to get too much on the show, understand what I'm sayin'? 58 00:03:08,739 --> 00:03:12,903 Why don't you run along and play on the railroad tracks somewhere while a train is comin'? 59 00:03:12,977 --> 00:03:15,036 You ain't treatin' me like a 'toon. 60 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,876 You know, I like ladies, girl, you know what I'm sayin'? You lookin' good. 61 00:03:17,949 --> 00:03:20,247 Got some good lookin' legs. Just wanna rub up against 'em. 62 00:03:20,318 --> 00:03:23,651 - Hey, get off of me! - Hey. Oh, it's 'cause I ain't got no genitals, huh? 63 00:03:23,721 --> 00:03:25,746 - Is that what it is? - Hey. Hey! Hey, hey, hey. 64 00:03:25,823 --> 00:03:28,485 I hired you for good, wholesome entertainment. 65 00:03:28,559 --> 00:03:31,187 - Now you keep it up, and I'll take the hose to ya. - Hey, yeah, man. 66 00:03:31,262 --> 00:03:33,730 Speakin' of hose, brother, is there a tree I can raise my leg on? 67 00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:35,732 'Cause I really got to let this go, you know? 68 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,793 You should've thought about that before you punched in. You don't get a break for another hour. 69 00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:43,568 I see what's goin' on. You gonna treat me like a 'toon? Right. Go ahead and oppress me. 70 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:46,132 You wouldn't do this to Woody Woodpecker, now would ya, huh? 71 00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:49,475 I know you wouldn't. See, that's the thing. See, you guys are treatin'us canines wrong. 72 00:03:49,547 --> 00:03:51,481 Oh, I'll say it, and I'll say it again: 73 00:03:51,549 --> 00:03:54,916 I didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on me. 74 00:03:54,986 --> 00:03:57,716 [Cartoony Slide Whistle] 75 00:04:04,762 --> 00:04:08,220 That's what I'm talkin' about, man. Now that's good, wholesome entertainment, man. 76 00:04:08,299 --> 00:04:10,767 - Ain't this a bitch? - Beep, beep! 77 00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:13,531 Hey, hey, hey, you... Hey, let me tell you somethin', little kids. 78 00:04:13,604 --> 00:04:16,232 I ain't like that little dinosaur Barney. I'll break you up some. 79 00:04:16,307 --> 00:04:18,468 I'll go Cujo on you little tykes, you know what I'm sayin'? 80 00:04:18,543 --> 00:04:22,877 - Help! Help, Security! - [Gunshots] 81 00:04:22,947 --> 00:04:24,938 Get down! Get down! Get down, y'all! 82 00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:26,950 - Damn! - [Gunshots] 83 00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:29,009 Whoa there, varmint! 84 00:04:29,086 --> 00:04:33,750 Get your flea-bitten paws off'n them kids before I shoot you to smithereenies! 85 00:04:35,026 --> 00:04:37,358 You was close. 86 00:04:37,428 --> 00:04:42,024 Well, great horny toads, it's the Coyote. I see you got rid of the flea collar. 87 00:04:42,099 --> 00:04:44,590 Yeah, man. You know, I went down to the clinic, you know, 'cause... 88 00:04:44,669 --> 00:04:47,103 - that little bitch burned me, you know what I'm sayin'? - Yeah.! 89 00:04:47,171 --> 00:04:50,698 Hi, Mr. Coyote. Hi, Mr. Sam. Could we get your autographs? 90 00:04:50,775 --> 00:04:52,709 - No problem. You got a pen there, brother? - Sure. 91 00:04:52,777 --> 00:04:55,746 - Here's one. - All right, there. Let's see. This is a funny lookin' pen. 92 00:04:55,813 --> 00:04:59,715 "Best of luck on the nine-tre, 'cause you know what's goin' on." 93 00:04:59,784 --> 00:05:02,651 Hey, ya slimy little critters, these pens don't even write! 94 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,654 - Yeah. - What th... 95 00:05:06,524 --> 00:05:09,152 [Sam] I hate them kids. 96 00:05:13,831 --> 00:05:15,822 [Announcer] Coming this week on Fox: 97 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,994 The First Annual Infomercial Awards Show... 98 00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:24,030 honoring the finest in commercials that try to look like real TVshows. 99 00:05:24,108 --> 00:05:27,737 And now your host, "Juicy"Jay Kordich... 100 00:05:27,812 --> 00:05:31,748 - and his fawning shill, Gordy.! - [Cheers, Applause] 101 00:05:33,184 --> 00:05:35,618 Thank you. Thank you very much. 102 00:05:35,686 --> 00:05:40,623 What an honor it is to be your host for the Infys. Hey, Gordy, where are ya? 103 00:05:40,691 --> 00:05:43,455 Right behind ya, JuicyJay. You're crazy. 104 00:05:43,527 --> 00:05:46,121 - Yeah! - I didn't even see ya there! 105 00:05:46,197 --> 00:05:49,360 - Now Gordy, what's our first category? - Okay, JuicyJay. 106 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,367 - Tell them! - Okay, JuicyJay. 107 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,369 Our first award is our... 108 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:56,406 for the outstanding achievement in the field of get-rich-quick schemes. 109 00:05:56,474 --> 00:05:58,999 Yeah! 110 00:05:59,076 --> 00:06:02,102 And the nominees are: Tommy Woo... 111 00:06:02,179 --> 00:06:04,875 You Americans lazy. I was boat person. 112 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:10,353 I still boat person, but now boat is over 100 feet long with Jacuzzi bigger than your house. 113 00:06:10,421 --> 00:06:15,586 And all I do is have sex all day with women twice as tall as me. 114 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:18,993 And Tony Robbins, Unleash... 115 00:06:20,064 --> 00:06:21,998 your Financial Giant. 116 00:06:22,066 --> 00:06:26,230 I want to unleash the financial giant within you. 117 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:30,239 I know my size is alarming, but do not fear me. 118 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:33,140 In time you will realize I am a friendly giant... 119 00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:38,477 much like Herman Munster, or that retarded fellow on Of Mice and Men. 120 00:06:38,549 --> 00:06:44,488 Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of Fran Tarkington. 121 00:06:44,555 --> 00:06:47,149 - [Chortling] - [Crashing] 122 00:06:47,224 --> 00:06:51,251 And the winner is... Tommy Woo! 123 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,853 - [Applause] - [Gordy] Yeah! - Come on up here, Tom. 124 00:06:53,931 --> 00:06:58,391 - Take that! - You like me. You really, really like me. 125 00:06:58,469 --> 00:07:03,805 Too bad I don't like you. You lazy American loser. Your S.A.T. Scores suck! 126 00:07:03,874 --> 00:07:08,777 Hey! Unlike your show, we don't have 30 minutes. Now scram. 127 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,837 Yeah! 128 00:07:10,915 --> 00:07:14,043 - [Applause] - Let's get on with the next award, Gordy. 129 00:07:14,118 --> 00:07:16,609 - Get on with it! - [Grunts] Uh, the next award... 130 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:20,919 is for outstanding achievement by a physically repellent infomercial host. 131 00:07:20,991 --> 00:07:22,925 Now our first nominee is Lorie Davis... 132 00:07:22,993 --> 00:07:27,430 who should order Susan Powter's Stop the Insanity weight loss tape. 133 00:07:27,498 --> 00:07:29,523 Our second nominee is Susan Powter... 134 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,228 who could benefit from Lorie Daves hair care systems. 135 00:07:32,303 --> 00:07:34,533 Our third nominee is Jayne Kennedy... 136 00:07:34,605 --> 00:07:37,574 who should try Jayne Kennedy's California diet. 137 00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:41,543 And the winner is Susan Powter and Lorie Daves! Yeah! 138 00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:43,603 [Applause] 139 00:07:48,586 --> 00:07:51,919 I'd like to thank, uh, everybody out there with bad problem hair... 140 00:07:51,989 --> 00:07:56,983 who's made the Lorie Daves... [Panting] Hair care system such a success. 141 00:07:57,061 --> 00:08:00,258 I'd like to thank all the desperate, obese women out there... 142 00:08:00,331 --> 00:08:04,233 who have decided to "stop the insanity" and send me their money. 143 00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:07,168 That's a real nice haircut, honey. You look like a tennis ball with a head. 144 00:08:07,238 --> 00:08:10,867 - Excuse me. Are you talking to me, Shamu? - Yes. I am, honey. [Grunts] 145 00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:13,705 You know... You know, you... you have real pretty eyes. 146 00:08:13,778 --> 00:08:18,078 - You're pretty good looking for a big gal. - [Breathing Heavily] 147 00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:22,017 - [Jay] Hey! Hey! - [Announcer] The First Annual Infomercial Awards. 148 00:08:22,086 --> 00:08:24,077 Coming next week on Fox. 149 00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:27,921 - Give 'em a time-out. That's it. Tell 'em to get a room. - Yeah! 150 00:08:33,831 --> 00:08:37,961 Archie, you better hurry up. Barney Hefner will be here any minute. 151 00:08:38,035 --> 00:08:41,334 I'm just finishin'up some important business, Edith. 152 00:08:41,405 --> 00:08:45,899 [Toilet Flushes] 153 00:08:45,976 --> 00:08:48,342 Say, Edith, do me a favor there, will ya? 154 00:08:48,412 --> 00:08:52,314 The next time you make macaroni, chill out on the cheese, huh? 155 00:08:52,383 --> 00:08:54,783 It sends me to 30 minutes of hard labor there. 156 00:08:57,288 --> 00:08:59,279 Hey, wait a second. Hold on a second, little girl. 157 00:08:59,356 --> 00:09:01,324 - Can I ask you a question there? - Sure, Daddy. 158 00:09:01,392 --> 00:09:05,385 - What the hell are you wearin'? - It's an old Adidas school dress, Daddy. Don't you like it? 159 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:09,023 It looks more like a ripped condom there. Now put on somethin' respectable. 160 00:09:09,099 --> 00:09:13,195 I got Barney Hefner comin' over here, and if you're gonna get with him, you gotta look fly. 161 00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:16,239 Daddy, I don't wanna get with him. You want me to get with him. By the... 162 00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:18,434 what's so big about Barney anyway? 163 00:09:18,509 --> 00:09:21,069 Three things, little girl: One, he's got a good job... 164 00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:23,807 number two... unlike a certain ham-hock head you used to date... 165 00:09:23,881 --> 00:09:25,815 he's a citizen of the U.S. Of"A" there... 166 00:09:25,883 --> 00:09:28,010 and number three, shut up and get changed! 167 00:09:28,085 --> 00:09:31,020 - [Wailing] Ma! - [Doorbell Rings] 168 00:09:31,088 --> 00:09:33,454 Aw, geez, he's here. 169 00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:37,821 - Barney, my ace boom. Come in. - Hey, Archie. What's up, man? 170 00:09:37,895 --> 00:09:39,829 Edith, how you doin'? 171 00:09:39,897 --> 00:09:44,163 Hey, Barney, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Gloria here. Get over here. 172 00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:48,194 - Gloria, this is Barney, the most eligible bachelor at the plant. - Daddy! 173 00:09:48,272 --> 00:09:51,673 Now I don't mean to embarrass you, Barney, but, uh, me and the guys down at the plant... 174 00:09:51,742 --> 00:09:55,678 have been noticing you've been in a little slump with the hoochies lately. 175 00:09:55,746 --> 00:09:57,839 And it just so happens that my little girl here... 176 00:09:57,915 --> 00:10:01,214 has just got out of... what do you call... a"malfunctional" relationship there. 177 00:10:01,285 --> 00:10:03,947 This is ridiculous, Daddy. I will not be treated like a child. 178 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:06,717 Geez, of course not, little girl. Now let's go out to the kitchen... 179 00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:09,088 and get Barney an Old English there. 180 00:10:09,159 --> 00:10:12,925 - She's a real honey there, eh, Barney? Be right back. - I was gonna... Uh, look. 181 00:10:12,997 --> 00:10:16,125 You know, I didn't get a chance to tell Archie that I can't go out with Gloria. 182 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,397 - I'm already seein' somebody. - Oh, that's too bad. 183 00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:22,268 - What's her name? - Uh, Steven. 184 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,606 Oh. 185 00:10:25,676 --> 00:10:27,610 Oh! 186 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,276 Here's your malt liquor here you want, yeah? Here you go. 187 00:10:31,348 --> 00:10:34,840 - Oh, thanks there. Thanks. - Gloria's out in the kitchen makin' some nachos. 188 00:10:34,919 --> 00:10:36,910 - She's quite a girl, that Gloria there. - [Laughs] 189 00:10:36,987 --> 00:10:40,013 You two will have a great time together, Barney. 190 00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:44,891 Archie, I just don't think that Barney wants to push up on Gloria. 191 00:10:44,962 --> 00:10:48,193 What's wrong with you, you dingbat? Gloria's dope. 192 00:10:48,265 --> 00:10:52,531 - He'd have to be gay not to want to go out with her. - ♪♪ [Sings Hip-hop] 193 00:10:55,606 --> 00:10:59,372 What the hell are you talkin' about? Who put such a crazy idea like that in your head? 194 00:10:59,443 --> 00:11:03,277 - He did, Arch. - He was jokin' you dingbat. 195 00:11:03,347 --> 00:11:06,680 Everybody knows Barney's got a crazy sense of humor... 196 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,776 like the time you showed up at the plant Christmas party in a dress there? 197 00:11:09,853 --> 00:11:11,946 - Yeah. [Chuckles] - And high heels. 198 00:11:12,022 --> 00:11:13,956 And panty hose. 199 00:11:14,024 --> 00:11:16,549 Aw, geez! 200 00:11:16,627 --> 00:11:19,425 Here's some nacho. You want another beer? 201 00:11:19,496 --> 00:11:22,556 Why don't you bring him a Harvey "Wallbringer" with an umbrella there? 202 00:11:22,633 --> 00:11:25,864 - Or better yet, just bring him Harvey. - Huh? 203 00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:31,875 - Oh, Archie, chill. Barney's your homey. - You mean, "homo." 204 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:35,173 And get your butt outta that chair. God only know where it's been. 205 00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:37,611 Look, man. You are bein' ignorant, man. 206 00:11:37,681 --> 00:11:40,582 I'm not ignorant, buddy. You're the one who's ignorant. I know my Bible there... 207 00:11:40,651 --> 00:11:44,451 which says, in the beginning God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Barney. 208 00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:47,251 You are talkin' crazy. You didn't have no problem with me yesterday. 209 00:11:47,324 --> 00:11:49,758 Yesterday, you wasn't a Froot Loop. 210 00:11:49,827 --> 00:11:52,557 - That's it. I'm leavin', man. - So soon, Barney? 211 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,722 Archie, I'm ashamed of you. 212 00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:58,290 Me too, Daddy. You've been friends for too long to end this way. 213 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:02,863 Aw, geez, you two. Don't give me that look! 214 00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:07,809 Barney, we've been through a lot together, and l... I guess you're okay... 215 00:12:07,878 --> 00:12:09,812 for a pansy. 216 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,678 Oh, thanks, Archie. Look, I'll see you tomorrow at the plant, all right? 217 00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:15,583 So, uh, l... Oh, did I drop a quarter over there? 218 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:18,519 What are you talkin' about, Barney? I don't see no quarter over here. 219 00:12:18,589 --> 00:12:20,819 - Ooh, baby got back. - Get the hell outta here! 220 00:12:22,226 --> 00:12:24,160 Geez! 221 00:12:24,228 --> 00:12:29,528 [No Audible Dialogue] 222 00:12:29,662 --> 00:12:34,690 I wanna thank all the people who helped me climb up on the ladder: 223 00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:37,861 Me, myself and I. [Imitating Kissing] 224 00:12:37,936 --> 00:12:41,064 - [Cheering] - Deronda Hightower, are you up there? 225 00:12:41,140 --> 00:12:43,438 - It's Pookie. - No. 226 00:12:43,509 --> 00:12:47,707 - Girl, then who is that talkin'? - Nobody. It's the TV. 227 00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:50,146 [Imitates Switch] ♪ In livin' color, Liv... Liv... Liv... Livin' ♪ 228 00:12:50,215 --> 00:12:53,651 [Imitates Switch] Uh, buy this today. It's wonderful. 229 00:12:53,719 --> 00:12:57,485 - [Imitates Switching] - Girl, that ain't no TV. That's you. 230 00:12:57,556 --> 00:13:00,389 - Let me in. - What's the password? 231 00:13:00,459 --> 00:13:06,398 Um, " I didn't see nothin' when stupid old Leon pulled your, uh, underpants down." 232 00:13:06,465 --> 00:13:09,696 - Okay. - But your mamma need to buy some Shout. 233 00:13:09,768 --> 00:13:13,329 - Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! - Okay! Okay! Okay! 234 00:13:13,405 --> 00:13:17,000 - Let's play a game. - Okay. Let's play "Lorena Bobbit." 235 00:13:17,076 --> 00:13:20,045 - I'll get the scissors. - No. I don't wanna play that. 236 00:13:20,112 --> 00:13:22,842 Okay. What you wanna play? 237 00:13:22,915 --> 00:13:25,975 - Um, let's play "party." - Okay. 238 00:13:26,051 --> 00:13:30,420 - Goin' to the party. Party, party, party. - Oh, here we are at the party. 239 00:13:30,489 --> 00:13:33,925 Oh, don't you "bare-ass" me in front of our friends. 240 00:13:33,992 --> 00:13:37,155 - You know you can't hold your liquorice. - Girl... 241 00:13:37,229 --> 00:13:39,720 - ♪ Ding, dong ♪ - You always naggin' me. 242 00:13:39,798 --> 00:13:42,198 That's all you do. Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag... 243 00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:45,998 - Oh, shut up! Shut up! - See what I mean! See what I mean! 244 00:13:46,071 --> 00:13:48,130 [Together] Hello. 245 00:13:48,207 --> 00:13:53,076 - Oh, what a beautiful party. Such lovely declarations. - Yes. 246 00:13:53,145 --> 00:13:57,582 - So "effestive." - Yes. I would love something to drink. 247 00:13:57,649 --> 00:14:02,109 Give me a "J.J." Walker with a twist of"Wilona"... 248 00:14:02,187 --> 00:14:06,351 and a Scottish man on the rocks with a double dip. 249 00:14:06,425 --> 00:14:09,360 Don't you think that's a little bit much? 250 00:14:09,428 --> 00:14:14,161 Girl, why you always gotta bust my basketballs? 251 00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:19,933 I'm gonna go toJacoby & Myers. They've been on my side since 1981. 252 00:14:21,006 --> 00:14:23,839 I will get my own drink, thank you. 253 00:14:25,844 --> 00:14:28,574 I just don't know what to do with that man. 254 00:14:28,647 --> 00:14:33,084 He hasn't been the same since the Reagan "minsteration." 255 00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:36,610 Oh, and don't worry about me, baby. 256 00:14:36,688 --> 00:14:40,089 I'm gonna find a man who depreciates me. 257 00:14:42,394 --> 00:14:48,128 [Giggling] Oh, oh, you so funny. And you cute too. 258 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,897 Oh! Hey, wait a minute. Don't pinch me. What's the big idea, buddy? 259 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:54,461 Hey, wait a minute. Hey, what are you doin'? 260 00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:57,031 - Let me tell... - Hey, man, that's my woman. 261 00:14:59,678 --> 00:15:03,546 Oh, no. What have I done? 262 00:15:03,615 --> 00:15:06,106 [Stamps Foot] 263 00:15:06,185 --> 00:15:09,882 [Continues Stamping] 264 00:15:10,956 --> 00:15:12,947 My hero. 265 00:15:13,025 --> 00:15:15,459 - Let's play another game. - Okay. What you wanna play? 266 00:15:15,527 --> 00:15:19,520 - Let's play "positive black role models on television." - Okay. 267 00:15:21,733 --> 00:15:24,793 - Hello, everyb... - Sorry. You canceled. 268 00:15:25,838 --> 00:15:27,829 See you, Deronda. 269 00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:36,179 All right, everybody. Take five. 270 00:15:36,248 --> 00:15:39,877 [Sighs] Oh, man. Come on, Ice Tray. Where the hell are you? 271 00:15:39,952 --> 00:15:45,049 ♪♪ [Hi-hop On Speaker] 272 00:15:46,492 --> 00:15:49,484 - ♪♪ [Stops] - Say, let's get this Club on here, man. 273 00:15:49,561 --> 00:15:54,624 - Hey, man. Gotta have that Club. - Now look here. Forget Ice Tray, Home Base, ah, ha-ha, ah, ha-ha. 274 00:15:54,700 --> 00:16:00,297 - 'Cause we are in the house. You hear me? - Uh, man, what the hell is... 275 00:16:00,372 --> 00:16:04,138 Man, I think an introduciones would be in order right now. 276 00:16:04,209 --> 00:16:07,940 - I'm Clavell. - And I am Howard Tibbs III. 277 00:16:08,013 --> 00:16:10,607 - And we are... - [Together] Funky Finger Productions. 278 00:16:10,682 --> 00:16:12,673 - You hear me? - Sho' nuff. Ah, ha-ha. 279 00:16:12,751 --> 00:16:15,914 Let me give you one of my cards. You know, I'm fresh out. 280 00:16:15,988 --> 00:16:21,858 I must've gave the last one to, er, um, uh, Slick Rick's comin' out party. Howard? 281 00:16:22,928 --> 00:16:25,362 Bam! 282 00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:27,796 All right, man. Pay no attention to all that stuff, man. 283 00:16:27,866 --> 00:16:30,630 Reesie's baby got boogers all over this thing, man. 284 00:16:30,702 --> 00:16:32,863 That's the number. That's my cousin Boudreau. All right? 285 00:16:32,938 --> 00:16:36,169 Call anytime you want. Now that's Pizza Hut, but don't worry about it. 286 00:16:36,241 --> 00:16:38,141 Uh, what do you guys want? 287 00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:41,441 - Don't you know, we are rappers extraordinaire? - [Chuckles] 288 00:16:41,513 --> 00:16:43,743 Okay, look. L-I'm sure you guys are good, but... 289 00:16:43,815 --> 00:16:46,978 - I only handle O.G. Gangsta, original rappers. - Well, trust me, Home B. 290 00:16:47,052 --> 00:16:49,680 - You hear that? - We are bad. - [Gunshot] 291 00:16:49,755 --> 00:16:53,316 - Put that thing... - It's cool, man. 292 00:16:53,392 --> 00:16:56,987 - Tryin' to kill somebody? - Man, have you ever heard the song, "Cop Killer"? 293 00:16:57,062 --> 00:17:01,260 Well, our debut single is called, "Kill the Cop and Then Jaywalk." Say what? 294 00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:04,632 Now, check out the career master-blaster plan. 295 00:17:04,703 --> 00:17:08,730 Howard, would you be so kind as to do the honors... 296 00:17:08,807 --> 00:17:13,870 soon as you get your thang correct? Ah, ha-ha. Comin' at ya. 297 00:17:13,946 --> 00:17:16,744 Bam! 298 00:17:16,815 --> 00:17:19,579 - All right now, let me tell you somethin'. - [Taps Sign] 299 00:17:19,651 --> 00:17:21,585 - Our research shows... - Mm-hmm... 300 00:17:21,653 --> 00:17:25,521 that criminal charges can do wonders for your record sales. 301 00:17:25,591 --> 00:17:29,960 Now this is our Funky Finger felony chart. Now you see, this here is Tupac. 302 00:17:30,028 --> 00:17:32,462 - Can't leave the bitches alone. - You hear what I'm sayin'? 303 00:17:32,531 --> 00:17:36,467 Then we sli-i-ide on down... Snoop Doggy Dogg with a nuclear curl. 304 00:17:36,535 --> 00:17:40,403 - One well-timed drive-by, and he's platinum, baby. - You hear what I'm sayin'? 305 00:17:40,472 --> 00:17:42,940 Now see, we taught Snoop Doggy Dogg everything he knows. 306 00:17:43,008 --> 00:17:46,205 Raised him from a pup, man. What was his name back then? 307 00:17:46,278 --> 00:17:48,143 - Scrappy-Doo. - Say what? 308 00:17:48,213 --> 00:17:50,875 O-Okay. Well, guys, if you don't mind, I'm sorry. 309 00:17:50,949 --> 00:17:52,883 - I have... - Hey, hey, hey! - [Rips] 310 00:17:52,951 --> 00:17:55,476 Uh, uh, uh, look here, man. 311 00:17:55,554 --> 00:17:58,853 - Funky Finger Productions, man... We are in, and we are down. - Yes, that right. 312 00:17:58,924 --> 00:18:02,189 - Now if you slide down to the end, here we be. Now... - Right there. 313 00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:07,357 We go up into a market, slip a few Snicker bars in the hip pock-et... 314 00:18:07,432 --> 00:18:11,801 - and we will have enough gold in our teeth to make a record. - Uh, Security! 315 00:18:11,870 --> 00:18:17,137 - Uh, man, hold on, man. Damn, that vest is bumpin'. - Say what? 316 00:18:17,209 --> 00:18:19,336 You can't stop the music, Howard. 317 00:18:19,411 --> 00:18:22,278 ♪♪ [Scatting Rhythmically] 318 00:18:22,347 --> 00:18:25,009 ♪♪ [Continues] 319 00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:28,052 In the grove. ♪♪ [Continues] 320 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,054 And freeze. ♪♪ [Stops] 321 00:18:30,122 --> 00:18:32,056 Freeze. And... 322 00:18:33,558 --> 00:18:36,459 ♪♪ [Resumes Scatting] 323 00:18:36,528 --> 00:18:39,463 ♪♪ [Continues] 324 00:18:39,531 --> 00:18:42,694 Freeze. ♪♪ [Stops] And freeze one mo' time. And... 325 00:18:42,768 --> 00:18:44,759 - Bam! - There you go. 326 00:18:47,139 --> 00:18:51,041 See... 327 00:18:51,109 --> 00:18:55,842 now this here is the video for the soon-to-be hit single... 328 00:18:55,914 --> 00:18:58,246 "I'm Gonna Bust a Cap in your Bootay." 329 00:18:58,316 --> 00:19:03,720 Now you see, this is "R & B" on the hip-hop tip, like Bell Biv DeVoe. 330 00:19:03,789 --> 00:19:07,316 You know, I love the little lead singer... the one with the Neanderthal frontal lobe? 331 00:19:07,392 --> 00:19:09,690 Oh, yeah. [Laughs] 332 00:19:09,761 --> 00:19:13,197 - Looks like a little dolphin? - Sho' nuff. Check it out. 333 00:19:16,134 --> 00:19:18,762 Come on, now. 334 00:19:18,837 --> 00:19:23,865 See, focus up, man! Here we go, home skillet. Accione.! 335 00:19:23,942 --> 00:19:25,876 Kick it! ♪♪ [Beatbox] 336 00:19:25,944 --> 00:19:27,878 ♪♪ [Raps, Stops] 337 00:19:27,946 --> 00:19:30,380 - [Howard] Uh, yeah. Uh... - Uh, okay. Oh! Ice Tray! 338 00:19:30,449 --> 00:19:33,316 - Oh, man! - And those the punks that tied me up. 339 00:19:33,385 --> 00:19:36,411 - Get 'em! - All right, you two. Fun's over. Let's go. 340 00:19:36,488 --> 00:19:39,548 - Come on. Come on. - I'm gonna get you some, man. 341 00:19:39,624 --> 00:19:41,751 - Hey! Hey! Listen to me, man. Come on! - [Yelling] 342 00:19:41,827 --> 00:19:44,091 Take it off. Hey! Hey! 343 00:19:47,566 --> 00:19:51,696 Maverick recording artist Me'shell Ndegeocello, ladies and gentlemen. 344 00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:55,103 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 345 00:19:55,173 --> 00:19:57,107 Yo, put your hands together. 346 00:19:57,175 --> 00:20:00,269 Yo, Biz, we gonna rock the house. 347 00:20:00,345 --> 00:20:04,782 Yo, bound to wreck your body and turn the party up. Check it out, uh! 348 00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:07,785 Whoo! Got Biz in the house. 349 00:20:07,853 --> 00:20:12,517 I'm live in Living Color. Ain't that right? 350 00:20:13,525 --> 00:20:17,985 ♪♪ [Rapping] 351 00:20:18,063 --> 00:20:20,964 ♪♪ [Continues] 352 00:20:42,954 --> 00:20:46,481 ♪♪ [Singing With Backing Track] 353 00:20:46,558 --> 00:20:51,996 ♪♪ [Rapping] 354 00:20:52,063 --> 00:20:54,190 ♪♪ [Backing Track Singing] 355 00:20:54,266 --> 00:20:56,427 - ♪♪ [Continues] - Yo, all right, Biz. Hey. 356 00:20:56,501 --> 00:20:58,901 ♪♪ [Rapping] 357 00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:03,474 So crank up the track. 358 00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:08,106 ♪♪ [Continues] 33075

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