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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,219 --> 00:00:04,120 [Man] Coming this fall to Black Entertainment Television: 2 00:00:04,188 --> 00:00:06,622 It's Mary Tyler Mo. 3 00:00:06,691 --> 00:00:08,955 Mur, what goes better with a fish "samich"? 4 00:00:09,027 --> 00:00:11,655 Grape Kool-Aid or red? 5 00:00:11,729 --> 00:00:13,663 Thanks, Mur. 6 00:00:17,035 --> 00:00:20,300 - Mary, get in here. - Oh! 7 00:00:20,371 --> 00:00:22,931 Coming, Mr. Grant. 8 00:00:24,208 --> 00:00:26,301 Yes, Mr. Grant? 9 00:00:26,377 --> 00:00:28,402 Mary, I'm afraid I've got... 10 00:00:28,479 --> 00:00:30,470 - some bad news for you. - Oh. 11 00:00:30,548 --> 00:00:33,039 Oh, well, Mr. Grant, you're still not, uh... 12 00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:37,019 you know, serious about the "chocolate fantasy" thing? 13 00:00:37,088 --> 00:00:39,488 Oh, yes, I am, but that's not what I called you in for. 14 00:00:39,557 --> 00:00:42,651 I'm afraid I have to, uh, give you your pink slip. 15 00:00:42,727 --> 00:00:44,695 Mr. Grant, you... 16 00:00:44,762 --> 00:00:48,630 You... blue-eyed devil, you. 17 00:00:51,269 --> 00:00:53,203 Ted, get in here. 18 00:00:53,271 --> 00:00:55,933 What is it, Lou? 19 00:00:56,007 --> 00:00:57,941 Ted, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you. 20 00:00:58,009 --> 00:01:00,910 Don't tell me you're serious about that "chocolate fantasy" thing. 21 00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,912 Yes, I am, Ted, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. 22 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,380 Lou, before you say anything, big guy, I just want you to know... 23 00:01:05,450 --> 00:01:07,384 it's a pleasure working here for you... 24 00:01:07,452 --> 00:01:09,386 and you're everything a guy could hope for in a boss... 25 00:01:09,454 --> 00:01:11,388 and a friend. 26 00:01:11,456 --> 00:01:14,391 That's great, Ted. That's nice. You're fired. 27 00:01:14,459 --> 00:01:16,689 - You honky bastard! - What was that, Ted? 28 00:01:16,761 --> 00:01:19,093 I'm sorry, Lou. I didn't mean it, Lou. 29 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,154 It just slipped out. [Sobbing] 30 00:01:21,232 --> 00:01:24,793 [Man] Mary Tyler Mo... coming this fall. 31 00:01:24,869 --> 00:01:28,305 - [Laughing] - ♪ In living color♪ 32 00:01:28,373 --> 00:01:32,070 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 33 00:01:32,143 --> 00:01:34,077 ♪ In living color♪ 34 00:01:35,646 --> 00:01:40,310 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 35 00:01:40,385 --> 00:01:42,546 ♪ In living color♪ 36 00:01:43,621 --> 00:01:45,555 ♪ In living color♪ 37 00:01:45,623 --> 00:01:47,557 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 38 00:01:47,625 --> 00:01:49,616 ♪ You see, it's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 39 00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:51,559 - ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪ - Hi-yah! 40 00:01:51,629 --> 00:01:53,062 ♪ In living color♪ 41 00:01:53,131 --> 00:01:55,725 ♪ And how would ya... How would ya... How would ya f... ♪ 42 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,734 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 43 00:01:57,802 --> 00:01:59,963 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 44 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:03,495 [Echoing] ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ 45 00:02:03,574 --> 00:02:07,032 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 46 00:02:07,111 --> 00:02:09,170 ♪ In living color♪ 47 00:02:10,248 --> 00:02:11,738 ♪ In living color♪ 48 00:02:11,816 --> 00:02:15,343 - ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 49 00:02:15,420 --> 00:02:19,686 - ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... wan... ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 50 00:02:19,757 --> 00:02:24,456 - ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 51 00:02:24,529 --> 00:02:28,465 - ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... wan... ♪ - ♪ In living color♪ 52 00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:30,467 - [Turntable Scratching] - ♪ In living color♪♪ 53 00:02:30,535 --> 00:02:32,969 [Laughing] 54 00:02:37,041 --> 00:02:40,477 Hi. I'm Loomis Simmons... 55 00:02:40,545 --> 00:02:44,481 and I'm here to tell you, you can never be too careful... 56 00:02:44,549 --> 00:02:46,779 not with all these here unwanted pregnancies... 57 00:02:46,851 --> 00:02:48,910 diseases and all these other hoodoos... 58 00:02:48,986 --> 00:02:53,218 wanting to come between you and your main squeeze, Mr. Johnson-Ronson. 59 00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:55,225 Know what I'm saying? 60 00:02:55,293 --> 00:02:57,659 That's why I'm here to protect you with the Loomis Simmons... 61 00:02:57,728 --> 00:03:00,663 Custom Built Condom. 62 00:03:00,731 --> 00:03:03,723 Today modern "womens" will pitch a fuss... 63 00:03:03,801 --> 00:03:05,735 and leave you out in the cold... 64 00:03:05,803 --> 00:03:08,636 'less you put a raincoat on your little man. 65 00:03:08,706 --> 00:03:11,436 God bless their tiny little souls. 66 00:03:11,509 --> 00:03:16,947 That's where my Loomis Simmons Custom Built Condom come in. 67 00:03:17,014 --> 00:03:19,608 The Loomis Condom was specially designed... 68 00:03:19,684 --> 00:03:22,448 to fit snugly on to me... 69 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,284 and it keeps you safe from harm's way... 70 00:03:25,356 --> 00:03:28,120 'cause I'm the one who wear it. [Chuckles] 71 00:03:28,192 --> 00:03:31,787 Just give me $100 and I'll take all the risk. 72 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:34,923 Now, you must be "axing"... 73 00:03:34,999 --> 00:03:37,627 "Where do I come in, Loomis?" 74 00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:40,694 You pay for the hotel room and wait in the lobby. 75 00:03:40,771 --> 00:03:43,899 It's that simple. Here's how the system works. 76 00:03:43,975 --> 00:03:45,943 You take the girl out for drinks; 77 00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:47,944 you take the girl out to dinner; 78 00:03:48,012 --> 00:03:49,946 you take the girl out dancing; 79 00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:52,539 and once you're sure she's ready to get nasty... 80 00:03:52,617 --> 00:03:54,608 then you call Loomis. 81 00:03:54,685 --> 00:03:56,778 Loomis comes over to your house. 82 00:03:56,854 --> 00:04:00,813 Loomis wears the custom-built Loomis Condom. 83 00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:04,384 Loomis have freaky circus sex with your woman. 84 00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:08,723 Then Loomis leave. 85 00:04:08,799 --> 00:04:10,733 It's that simple. 86 00:04:10,801 --> 00:04:13,429 Hell, you can even sip a scotch... 87 00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:16,837 and cheer me on, if that's your freaky thing. 88 00:04:18,309 --> 00:04:20,243 But don't take my word for it. 89 00:04:20,311 --> 00:04:23,906 Let's talk to some of my satisfied "customears." 90 00:04:23,981 --> 00:04:26,472 I don't like wearing a condom... 91 00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:29,611 because I can't feel the intensity of the moment. 92 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:33,953 Now, with the Loomis Simmons Custom Built Condom... 93 00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:36,186 I still don't feel nothin'... 94 00:04:36,260 --> 00:04:40,754 but I don't get all hot and sweaty either. 95 00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:48,100 After I got these sores... 96 00:04:48,172 --> 00:04:51,471 I never thought I'd trust a condom again. 97 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:54,602 Then I heard about Loomis Simmons' revolutionary technology. 98 00:04:54,679 --> 00:04:58,137 Now I can please the ladies and play it safe. 99 00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:00,308 [Groans] 100 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,854 [Panting] 101 00:05:04,922 --> 00:05:07,550 Go! 102 00:05:07,625 --> 00:05:10,423 I enjoyed every minute. 103 00:05:10,494 --> 00:05:12,758 - Can I have some of that, man? - Uh... 104 00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:14,991 Just... Just keep it, man. 105 00:05:22,006 --> 00:05:24,099 That's exciting, isn't it? 106 00:05:24,175 --> 00:05:26,200 Now, a lot of people say to me... 107 00:05:26,277 --> 00:05:29,246 "Loomis, why would I want a complete stranger... 108 00:05:29,313 --> 00:05:33,113 to share such an intimate moment with my woman friend?" 109 00:05:33,184 --> 00:05:35,277 And I say, " Shut up. 110 00:05:35,353 --> 00:05:38,117 "I'm trying to have freaky circus sex with them. 111 00:05:38,189 --> 00:05:41,124 I ain't sticking around to cuddle. That's your job." 112 00:05:41,192 --> 00:05:43,786 Let's be honest. 113 00:05:43,861 --> 00:05:46,125 There's only so much Loomis can do. 114 00:05:46,197 --> 00:05:48,791 But if you throw in an extra $40... 115 00:05:48,866 --> 00:05:52,632 I'll even smoke a cigarette while I'm putting my thick and thins back on... 116 00:05:52,703 --> 00:05:54,728 for absolutely free. 117 00:05:54,805 --> 00:05:57,467 So order your Loomis Simmons Custom Built Condom... 118 00:05:57,541 --> 00:06:00,442 and leave the driving to me. 119 00:06:04,815 --> 00:06:08,182 - [Together] We want food. We want food. - Settle down. Settle down. 120 00:06:08,252 --> 00:06:10,186 - We want food. We want... - Settle down. 121 00:06:10,254 --> 00:06:12,188 Settle down, everyone. 122 00:06:12,256 --> 00:06:16,056 I know you have your hearts set on a turkey dinner with all the trimmings... 123 00:06:16,127 --> 00:06:19,426 but we all decided to get the most food for our money... 124 00:06:19,497 --> 00:06:22,728 - and that is two cans of Spam. - [Groans] 125 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:27,100 Ah, but we spent the extra money we saved on a special treat for you. 126 00:06:27,171 --> 00:06:29,264 We're gonna have some Irish folk music. 127 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:31,467 So let's give a big homeless shelter welcome... 128 00:06:31,542 --> 00:06:34,534 to Shamus O'Shanty O'Shame. 129 00:06:34,612 --> 00:06:36,546 ♪♪ [Acoustic Guitar] 130 00:06:40,851 --> 00:06:42,785 [Belches] 131 00:06:42,853 --> 00:06:45,947 Oh, thank you very much. There's nothing like singing on a full stomach. 132 00:06:46,023 --> 00:06:49,959 And may your holiday today be full... 133 00:06:50,027 --> 00:06:53,155 of pink hearts, yellow moons, blue stars and green clovers. 134 00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,164 Hoo-hoo! 135 00:06:55,232 --> 00:06:58,793 I'm gonna start off today with a song about a man named Fluther... 136 00:06:58,869 --> 00:07:00,962 the patron saint of the poor... 137 00:07:01,038 --> 00:07:03,563 and severe groin injuries. 138 00:07:03,641 --> 00:07:05,609 And it goes like this. 139 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,610 ♪♪ [Folk] 140 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,734 And that's it. 141 00:07:31,802 --> 00:07:34,396 [Weeping] 142 00:07:34,472 --> 00:07:36,736 - You've got to be a little bit more sensitive. - Well, then, how about... 143 00:07:36,807 --> 00:07:38,798 How about a song about leprechauns, huh? 144 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:41,606 A pot of gold, song of hope, something like that. It goes like this. 145 00:07:41,679 --> 00:07:43,647 ♪♪ [Folk] 146 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,839 That's it. 147 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,876 - I need a drink. - One day at a time, Billy. 148 00:08:12,943 --> 00:08:14,934 No, man, I can't take one song at a time. 149 00:08:15,012 --> 00:08:17,003 Bye, Billy. See ya later. [Giggles] 150 00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:19,072 - He was our biggest success. - Well... 151 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:21,118 Five years of sobriety out the window. 152 00:08:21,185 --> 00:08:25,087 Mr. O'Shame, I implore you, sing something to lift these men's spirits. 153 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,090 Okay, I've got just the song. 154 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,092 - You, sir... What's your name? - Jerry. 155 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,754 Jerry! How are you, Jerry? Jerry, come on up here, son. 156 00:08:31,829 --> 00:08:36,289 Jerry, do you feel like there's days where you just want to end it all? 157 00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:37,698 - Yeah. - Yes, you do. 158 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:40,032 Oh, but we've worked very hard with Jerry... 159 00:08:40,104 --> 00:08:42,538 and he now realizes that there is a lot to live for. 160 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:46,269 I'm gonna dedicate this next song to you. It's called "Keep Lookin' Up." 161 00:08:47,845 --> 00:08:49,813 ♪♪ [Folk] 162 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:15,434 There you go. [Laughs] 163 00:09:15,506 --> 00:09:19,135 Are you crazy? All you're doing is singing songs that depress them. 164 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:22,737 All right, gentlemen, there he is. Grab him. Come on. 165 00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:25,839 - Oh! Oh! - Okay, Shamus, it's time to go back to the home. 166 00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:27,975 - What's going on here? - Last night this turkey... 167 00:09:28,052 --> 00:09:29,986 hitched a ride on the Prozac truck. 168 00:09:30,054 --> 00:09:31,988 Yeah, we didn't miss him until bed check this morning. 169 00:09:32,056 --> 00:09:33,819 I'm no ordinary turkey. I'm a Butterball. 170 00:09:33,891 --> 00:09:35,825 I'm the king of the Butterballs. Gobble, gobble, gobble... 171 00:09:35,893 --> 00:09:39,056 - [Indistinct] - Gobble, gobble, gobble! 172 00:09:39,129 --> 00:09:42,496 Ooh! Oh, my breasts are delicious and tender. Ooh! 173 00:09:50,618 --> 00:09:53,178 Interracial couples... 174 00:09:53,254 --> 00:09:56,348 Difficult enough for children, but what if one parent was a major star... 175 00:09:56,424 --> 00:09:59,018 and treated you like you were a major embarrassment? 176 00:09:59,093 --> 00:10:01,186 White Hollywood, black children... 177 00:10:01,262 --> 00:10:04,129 that's our focus on today's Geraldo. 178 00:10:05,199 --> 00:10:07,190 [Cheers, Applause] 179 00:10:21,949 --> 00:10:26,716 We are joined by the seed corn of some of America's greatest stars. 180 00:10:26,787 --> 00:10:29,984 Our first guest has just written this painful memoir... 181 00:10:30,057 --> 00:10:32,048 Beam Me Up, Daddy... 182 00:10:32,126 --> 00:10:34,390 which chronicles how he was shunned... 183 00:10:34,462 --> 00:10:36,657 by his natural father, William Shatner. 184 00:10:36,731 --> 00:10:39,962 Please welcome T.J. Shatner. 185 00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:43,003 [Cheers, Applause] 186 00:10:46,974 --> 00:10:48,908 [Imitating William Shatner] Thank you, Geraldo. 187 00:10:48,976 --> 00:10:51,240 It is indeed a pleasure... 188 00:10:51,312 --> 00:10:53,610 to be on board. 189 00:10:53,681 --> 00:10:56,844 My next guest is a walking example of what happens... 190 00:10:56,917 --> 00:11:01,616 when a great director redirects his creative juices, if you will. 191 00:11:01,689 --> 00:11:04,681 Please welcome Tonisha Allen, daughter of Woody Allen. 192 00:11:04,759 --> 00:11:07,193 - Tonisha, hello. - [Cheers, Applause] 193 00:11:11,398 --> 00:11:15,198 [Imitating Woody Allen] It's, uh, you know, a real pleasure to be here... 194 00:11:15,269 --> 00:11:17,203 uh-uh, Geraldo. 195 00:11:17,271 --> 00:11:20,035 L-I believe it was, uh, uh, my father... 196 00:11:20,107 --> 00:11:23,042 Or was it Martin Luther King? 197 00:11:23,110 --> 00:11:25,544 Who said, "I have a dream." 198 00:11:25,613 --> 00:11:29,208 A-A-And in the dream I'm-I'm butt naked... 199 00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:31,547 doing the nasty with my rabbi. 200 00:11:31,619 --> 00:11:33,985 Oh, uh, and-and the worst part... 201 00:11:34,054 --> 00:11:39,356 is-is he keeps asking me to talk dirty in Hebrew. 202 00:11:39,426 --> 00:11:43,419 Now let's meet our last guest. 203 00:11:43,497 --> 00:11:45,727 I'm sure you've all heard about the recent biography... 204 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,236 that paints a shockingly promiscuous portrait... 205 00:11:49,303 --> 00:11:52,397 of comedy legend Bob Hope. 206 00:11:52,473 --> 00:11:56,739 Today I bring you the progeny of one such illicit union... 207 00:11:56,811 --> 00:12:00,975 the son Bob Hope fathered with the late Moms Mabley... 208 00:12:01,048 --> 00:12:02,982 Darius Hope. 209 00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:04,984 - Let's hear it. - Yeah. Hey. 210 00:12:05,052 --> 00:12:08,419 [Cheers, Applause] 211 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,924 [Imitating Bob Hope] Hey, how is everybody doing? 212 00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:13,983 This is wild. I wanna tell you. 213 00:12:16,063 --> 00:12:18,293 Now if I'm correct in assuming this, you are about... 214 00:12:18,365 --> 00:12:20,356 uh, 26 years old. 215 00:12:20,434 --> 00:12:22,698 Yeah. Hey, that's wild. 216 00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:25,136 Darius, have you ever met your famous father? 217 00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:27,140 Hey, I sure did, Geraldo... 218 00:12:27,208 --> 00:12:30,541 and I wanna tell you, he even offered me a job. 219 00:12:30,611 --> 00:12:33,546 Was is a personal assistant job or a joke writer position? 220 00:12:33,614 --> 00:12:36,378 Hey, no. Actually, he gave me a lamp and a jockey's outfit... 221 00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:39,385 and told me to stand on his lawn. 222 00:12:39,453 --> 00:12:40,920 Not wild at all. 223 00:12:40,988 --> 00:12:43,821 Now, Tonisha, how did your father... 224 00:12:43,891 --> 00:12:45,825 get to know your mother? 225 00:12:45,893 --> 00:12:47,827 [Stammering] Very, very well... 226 00:12:47,895 --> 00:12:50,056 uh, uh, uh, Geraldo. 227 00:12:50,130 --> 00:12:53,224 In fact, in a word, biblically. 228 00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:57,066 Uh, my mother was the only black woman ever to appear... 229 00:12:57,137 --> 00:12:59,128 in a Woody Allen film. 230 00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:01,504 Of course, she ended up on the cutting room floor... 231 00:13:01,575 --> 00:13:04,442 with-with Woody on top of her. 232 00:13:05,512 --> 00:13:07,673 Well, wasn't that sweet? 233 00:13:07,748 --> 00:13:09,807 That's all the time we have for today. 234 00:13:09,884 --> 00:13:12,352 Please tune in tomorrow, when our focus will be... 235 00:13:12,419 --> 00:13:17,686 anorexic transsexuals and the lesbian dwarfs who stalk them. 236 00:13:17,758 --> 00:13:19,988 On the next Geraldo. Good night. 237 00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,051 [Cheers, Applause] 238 00:13:27,801 --> 00:13:29,860 All right, y'all, come on, keep moving, baby. 239 00:13:29,937 --> 00:13:32,405 All right, this is the "A" list, baby, the "A" list. 240 00:13:32,473 --> 00:13:35,840 - You on the "B" list, you gotta rent the video. - Check it out. 241 00:13:35,910 --> 00:13:38,037 - Yeah. You know what I'm saying? - Uh-Uh-Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 242 00:13:38,112 --> 00:13:40,046 Jiffy Pop. Don't forget your popcorn. 243 00:13:40,114 --> 00:13:42,048 ♪♪ [CommercialJingle] 244 00:13:42,116 --> 00:13:45,244 Kellogg Pop-Tarts. 245 00:13:47,121 --> 00:13:51,182 - Shut up, man. - Pop, pop. 246 00:13:51,258 --> 00:13:53,818 Whoo. There's gold in them there hills. 247 00:13:53,894 --> 00:13:55,828 Excuse me, guys. 248 00:13:55,896 --> 00:13:58,558 Excuse me, guys, but what is it that a girl has to do... 249 00:13:58,632 --> 00:14:01,430 - to get into this place tonight? - [Babbling] 250 00:14:01,502 --> 00:14:03,663 Well, first get you a package of condoms... 251 00:14:03,737 --> 00:14:07,332 and you know that movie, Debbie Does Detroit? 252 00:14:07,408 --> 00:14:09,672 Well, just forget all about the Detroit part. 253 00:14:09,743 --> 00:14:12,405 Yeah, drop the Detroit and just do the doing. 254 00:14:12,479 --> 00:14:14,674 Dream on. 255 00:14:14,748 --> 00:14:18,343 - You ain't all that snoopy. - M-M-M-Milk... It does a body good. 256 00:14:20,387 --> 00:14:22,321 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ain't that... - Hey, wait. Hey. 257 00:14:22,389 --> 00:14:24,323 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Hey, dog, what's goin' on? 258 00:14:24,391 --> 00:14:27,019 Hey, Free Willy. 259 00:14:27,094 --> 00:14:29,028 Uh, excuse me. 260 00:14:29,096 --> 00:14:32,361 L-I I'm on the list. I am the director of the film. 261 00:14:32,433 --> 00:14:35,027 - You're the director of the film? - Yes, the director. 262 00:14:35,102 --> 00:14:38,299 - What might your name be, sir? - My name is Alan Smithy. 263 00:14:38,372 --> 00:14:41,205 - [Babbling] - Alan Smithy... you're the director of the film. 264 00:14:41,275 --> 00:14:43,209 - With a "Y." - With a "Y"? 265 00:14:43,277 --> 00:14:45,541 - Yes. - Just like, uh, Spike Lee and John Singleton, huh? 266 00:14:45,612 --> 00:14:47,546 Yeah, yeah. Just like Matty Rich... 267 00:14:47,614 --> 00:14:52,881 - a-a-and M-M-Mario van Peabo Bryson. - Yes. That's right. 268 00:14:52,953 --> 00:14:56,150 No, that's wrong, "Alfred Hitchbutt." Now look. 269 00:14:56,223 --> 00:14:58,191 I know you're a celebrity stalker, man... 270 00:14:58,258 --> 00:15:00,192 'cause you look like you're obsessed. 271 00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:02,558 - You look like you're insane. Something is wrong. - Uh-huh, insane. That's right. 272 00:15:02,629 --> 00:15:04,563 - Excuse me. L... - Hey, hey, man. I told you, man. 273 00:15:04,631 --> 00:15:07,065 You need to go seek you some professional help, psycho. 274 00:15:07,134 --> 00:15:10,069 Psycho, like the movie, huh? [Screeching] 275 00:15:13,073 --> 00:15:15,667 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - Hey, hey, hey. 276 00:15:15,743 --> 00:15:17,734 Hey, hey. Hey. 277 00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:27,954 Yes? Could I help you? 278 00:15:28,022 --> 00:15:30,650 Anyway, LeVar Burton, how can I help you? 279 00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:34,990 Lenny and Squiggy, this is my premiere. Did they tell you? 280 00:15:35,062 --> 00:15:36,996 - Oh, oh, and who might you be? - And who might you be? 281 00:15:37,064 --> 00:15:39,498 - Johnny Gill. - [Together] Oh, he's Johnny Gill. 282 00:15:41,135 --> 00:15:43,069 He act like... Act like heJohnny Gill. 283 00:15:43,137 --> 00:15:45,071 - I am the real Johnny Gill. - Like he... Like you... Like you... 284 00:15:45,139 --> 00:15:48,074 You know Michael Bivins. You don't know Michael Bivins. 285 00:15:48,142 --> 00:15:50,770 Oh, you Johnny Gill, so you the one who sing "My, My, My," huh? 286 00:15:50,844 --> 00:15:52,835 - Absolutely. That's right. - You sing "My, My, My"? 287 00:15:52,913 --> 00:15:54,847 - [Babbling] - Hey, man, I'll tell you what. 288 00:15:54,915 --> 00:15:57,611 You got that CD out, right, called A Long Way from Home, right? 289 00:15:57,684 --> 00:15:59,652 - [Babbling] - Yeah, that's me. 290 00:16:01,388 --> 00:16:03,481 See, that's wrong. The only thing you're a long way from... 291 00:16:03,557 --> 00:16:06,549 is being Johnny Gill, 'causeJohnny Gill is good looking, he's smart... 292 00:16:06,627 --> 00:16:09,926 - and he got a "S"Curl, and you ain't even close. - Yeah, and... 293 00:16:09,997 --> 00:16:12,557 Ohhh... 294 00:16:12,633 --> 00:16:14,567 Wait a minute. 295 00:16:14,635 --> 00:16:17,160 And... And on top of that... 296 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:21,105 he-he know Michael Bivins and Stacy Lattisaw. 297 00:16:21,175 --> 00:16:23,143 You know what? 298 00:16:23,210 --> 00:16:25,474 I think I do know you. 299 00:16:25,546 --> 00:16:27,776 I think I've seen you on the wall at the post office. 300 00:16:27,848 --> 00:16:29,839 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Little man... 301 00:16:29,917 --> 00:16:31,851 Hi. I'm Burt Reynolds. 302 00:16:31,919 --> 00:16:35,650 - All right, Burt, go on through. - A-A-A-A-And... 303 00:16:35,722 --> 00:16:39,681 And say hi to Loni for me... if-if you can afford it. 304 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:43,924 Yo. Now, come on now. If that's Burt Reynolds, then I'm James EarlJones. 305 00:16:43,997 --> 00:16:46,090 [Stammering] You look like Darth Vader. 306 00:16:47,668 --> 00:16:49,863 - Man, get out of my way. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 307 00:16:49,937 --> 00:16:52,906 - Hey, I done told you. Don't be getting up on me. - [Babbling] 308 00:16:52,973 --> 00:16:55,237 - Wait a minute. What you wanna do? - You wanna put 'em up? 309 00:16:55,309 --> 00:16:58,540 - Yeah. The only movie you gonna see is... - I don't just sing. 310 00:16:58,612 --> 00:17:01,342 - I don't just sing. - Oh, you don't just sing? 311 00:17:01,415 --> 00:17:03,349 - Come on. - It's on. It's on. 312 00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:05,385 You see, you In the Line of A... Whoopin'. 313 00:17:05,452 --> 00:17:07,886 Johnny.! Johnny Gill. Hello. 314 00:17:07,955 --> 00:17:09,889 - Hi. How are you? - Fine, thank you. 315 00:17:09,957 --> 00:17:13,017 All the stars are out tonight. Are you excited about your premiere? 316 00:17:13,093 --> 00:17:16,028 Definitely. The only thing is, I'm just trying to get into the theater. 317 00:17:16,096 --> 00:17:18,564 - Why? Is there a problem? - No, no, no, no, no. Ain't no problem. 318 00:17:18,632 --> 00:17:20,566 - These two clowns... - No, no, no. There... 319 00:17:20,634 --> 00:17:23,000 There go your problem, right there. 320 00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:26,005 Look at him. There he is, yeah. 321 00:17:26,073 --> 00:17:28,837 That... That's Cypress Hill, right there. 322 00:17:28,909 --> 00:17:31,275 He looks... He looks empty-headed enough. 323 00:17:31,345 --> 00:17:33,336 I'm sure he's not really a problem to either of you. 324 00:17:33,413 --> 00:17:35,404 - I find that hard to believe. - You-You-You... You don't... 325 00:17:35,482 --> 00:17:37,416 You don't know him. I been home with him. 326 00:17:37,484 --> 00:17:41,011 Boy got so many... House so dusty, the roaches ride around in dune buggies. 327 00:17:42,756 --> 00:17:45,122 [Woman] All right, we'll be sure and stay far away from him. 328 00:17:45,192 --> 00:17:47,490 Let's go inside, where the star-studded crowd awaits... 329 00:17:47,561 --> 00:17:50,359 an Entertainment Tonight exclusive. 330 00:17:50,430 --> 00:17:53,456 John... Johnny... [Stuttering] 331 00:17:53,534 --> 00:17:55,525 Come here. 332 00:17:55,602 --> 00:17:57,593 Why don't you do something with yourself... 333 00:17:57,671 --> 00:18:00,799 like... maybe wipe the dirt from your neck? 334 00:18:03,243 --> 00:18:06,644 You... You know that's Entertainment Tonight in there. That's right. 335 00:18:10,017 --> 00:18:13,817 Man, you ain't got to be pushing me, man. 336 00:18:13,887 --> 00:18:15,980 Uh... Uh... 337 00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:18,149 I just seen Cuba Gooding, Jr., in there. 338 00:18:18,225 --> 00:18:20,284 Is that right? Was he overacting? 339 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,555 No, but he was with them white boys from the movie. 340 00:18:22,629 --> 00:18:25,655 - Is that right? - Yeah, exactly. I loves Johnny Gill. 341 00:18:25,732 --> 00:18:27,666 ♪♪ [Singing] 342 00:18:34,641 --> 00:18:36,575 All right, all right, all right. I'm Twist. 343 00:18:36,643 --> 00:18:38,577 Tonight we have Epic recording artist Patra... 344 00:18:38,645 --> 00:18:42,411 featuring Lyn Collins singing "Think" in the house. 345 00:18:42,482 --> 00:18:44,848 ♪♪ [R& B] 346 00:18:47,354 --> 00:18:50,016 ♪♪ [Singing] 347 00:19:12,679 --> 00:19:14,613 ♪♪ [Continues] 348 00:20:18,378 --> 00:20:21,870 ♪♪ [Continues] 349 00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:03,155 ♪♪ [Continues] 350 00:21:52,639 --> 00:21:56,598 ♪♪ [Ends] 28833

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