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1
00:00:01,352 --> 00:00:04,617
- [Laughing]- ♪ In living color♪
2
00:00:04,689 --> 00:00:08,386
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
3
00:00:08,459 --> 00:00:10,393
♪ In living color♪
4
00:00:11,963 --> 00:00:16,627
- ♪ In living color♪- ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
5
00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:18,862
♪ In living color♪
6
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:21,871
♪ In living color♪
7
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,873
♪ You can walk on the moonFloat like a balloon ♪
8
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,875
♪ You see, it's never too lateand it's never too soon ♪
9
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:27,877
- ♪ Take it from me, it's a'ight to be ♪
- Hi-yah!
10
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,913
♪ In living color♪
11
00:00:29,981 --> 00:00:32,040
♪ And how would ya...How would ya... How would ya f... ♪
12
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:34,050
♪ How would you feel knowingprejudice was obsolete ♪
13
00:00:34,118 --> 00:00:36,279
♪ And all mankind dancedto the exact beat ♪
14
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[Echoing] ♪ And at nightit was safe to walk down the street ♪
15
00:00:39,891 --> 00:00:43,349
♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪
16
00:00:43,428 --> 00:00:45,487
♪ In living color♪
17
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♪ In living color♪
18
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,669
- ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... ♪- ♪ In living color♪
19
00:00:51,736 --> 00:00:56,002
- ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... wan... ♪- ♪ In living color♪
20
00:00:56,074 --> 00:01:00,773
- ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... ♪- ♪ In living color♪
21
00:01:00,845 --> 00:01:04,781
- ♪ You can do what you wan... wan... wan... ♪- ♪ In living color♪
22
00:01:04,849 --> 00:01:06,783
- [Turntable Scratching]- ♪ In living color♪♪
23
00:01:06,851 --> 00:01:09,285
[Laughing]
24
00:01:12,390 --> 00:01:15,826
- [Crowd Booing]
- [Sportscaster]Ronnie Thomas misses again.!
25
00:01:15,893 --> 00:01:21,195
I'm trying to rememberthe last time he was this off in a big game.
26
00:01:21,265 --> 00:01:23,699
[Sportscaster #2]He looks distracted, Marv.
27
00:01:23,768 --> 00:01:26,236
Hey, Thomas.
You stink, man! Hey, Thomas.
28
00:01:26,304 --> 00:01:29,068
You couldn't drive
on Miss Daisy, a'ight.
29
00:01:29,140 --> 00:01:32,632
Hey, Thomas.
You couldn't shoot if you had an AK-47.
30
00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:35,508
Hell, man. Hey, Thomas.
You been on the bench so long...
31
00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:39,175
your little boy was born
with splinters in his butt!
32
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,650
- [Sportscaster #2]New York takes a time-out.- [Horn Blows]
33
00:01:44,856 --> 00:01:48,986
Oh, man. H-Hey, guys, look.
I'm sorry. All right?
34
00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:51,358
Just-Just hand me the ball.
I'll get hot. Really.
35
00:01:51,429 --> 00:01:55,456
Hot? Hot? Hey, Halle Berry naked
couldn't get you hot, man.
36
00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:59,867
Hey, you couldn't score if you went
on a date with Heidi Fleiss, all right?
37
00:01:59,937 --> 00:02:02,599
- Get out a here, ya bum!
- He's getting to your head, man!
38
00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:05,608
N-N-N-No, he isn't.
I can block it out, man.
39
00:02:05,676 --> 00:02:08,839
Listen, brother,
you don't bother me, okay?
40
00:02:08,913 --> 00:02:11,609
Why should I bother you,
if losing doesn't bother you?
41
00:02:11,682 --> 00:02:13,946
Hey, maybe they could
trade you for something useful...
42
00:02:14,018 --> 00:02:16,782
something like-like...
like a dust mop, all right?
43
00:02:16,854 --> 00:02:20,415
I mean, I bet even your cat
coughs up air balls, all right?
44
00:02:20,491 --> 00:02:22,982
All right, buddy.
All right, man, come on. Let's go!
45
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,028
- Let's go, man! Let's go!
- Hey, sec...
46
00:02:25,096 --> 00:02:27,030
- Sec-Security! Security!
- You want to do it!
47
00:02:27,098 --> 00:02:29,089
Somebody arrest this man
for impersonating a basketball player.
48
00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:33,069
- Come on, Ronnie!
Take it out on the hoop, man.
- God.
49
00:02:33,137 --> 00:02:36,300
Take a shower,
and forget about it, man.
50
00:02:36,374 --> 00:02:38,501
Try to concentrate
on tomorrow's game.
51
00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,567
Yeah. All right.
52
00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:45,348
[Exhales]
53
00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:59,527
Hey, man!
You got so many pimples on your butt...
54
00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:03,465
- I thought I was lookin'
at Edward James Olmos!
- [Howling Cry]
55
00:03:07,238 --> 00:03:10,435
Oh, honey. They wouldn't be
in the play-offs without you.
56
00:03:10,508 --> 00:03:12,908
- [Sobs] I keep seeing his face.
- Shhh.
57
00:03:12,977 --> 00:03:16,242
It's all over now.
The police took him away.
58
00:03:16,314 --> 00:03:18,612
- Really?
- Really.
59
00:03:18,683 --> 00:03:22,813
- I don't know if I can play tomorrow.
- Oh, yes you can.
60
00:03:22,887 --> 00:03:25,355
Now let's just relax
and enjoy our dinner.
61
00:03:25,423 --> 00:03:28,290
I'm gonna need more than that.
Waiter, get me a highball.
62
00:03:28,359 --> 00:03:29,917
- [Screams]
- [Gasps]
63
00:03:29,994 --> 00:03:33,020
No-No. No-No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Noo!
64
00:03:33,097 --> 00:03:35,088
Is that your wife? Oh!
65
00:03:35,166 --> 00:03:37,532
- I thought it was Patrick Ewing with a wig on.
- Ohh!
66
00:03:37,602 --> 00:03:40,036
Shave your underarms. It looks
like you got Buckwheat in a headlock.
67
00:03:40,104 --> 00:03:42,231
[Screams]
68
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:45,833
- No.
- [Grunting]
69
00:03:46,043 --> 00:03:51,572
- [Patients Whining]
- All right, everyone. Yes.
70
00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:54,516
As a reward
for all of your hard work in therapy...
71
00:03:54,585 --> 00:03:57,019
and for those of you
under suicide watch...
72
00:03:57,088 --> 00:03:59,113
Nurse Ratched and I
present to you...
73
00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:02,216
the lilting, lighthearted
music of Ireland.
74
00:04:02,293 --> 00:04:04,818
Let's give a hearty,
depressed-ward welcome...
75
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:08,764
to Seamus O'Shanty O'Shame!
76
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:12,360
- Whoo!
- [Strums Guitar]
77
00:04:12,436 --> 00:04:15,564
Thank you very much. Thank you so much.
It's good to be here this afternoon...
78
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,541
spreadin' warmth and cheer and happiness
throughout the ward.
79
00:04:18,609 --> 00:04:23,512
And as we say in Ireland, may your days
shine brighter than Sinead O'Connor's head.
80
00:04:23,581 --> 00:04:28,746
And now I'd like to start off with a tender
little ballad, and it goes like this.
81
00:04:28,819 --> 00:04:32,311
♪♪ [Singing Irish Folk Song]
82
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,484
♪♪ [Ends]
That's it.
83
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,824
Mr. O'Shame, you are undoing
all of our work!
84
00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:14,524
If we wanted this we would
have gotten Judas Priest.
85
00:05:14,599 --> 00:05:17,159
Now sing a...
a-a-a-a love ballad or something.
86
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:20,965
Ohh, a love ballad. A romantic,
liltin' little ballad. Oh, okay then.
87
00:05:21,038 --> 00:05:25,634
All righty, here's one called " The Ballad
of Molly McBride," and it goes like this.
88
00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:30,147
♪♪ [Singing]
89
00:05:46,664 --> 00:05:49,258
- ♪♪ [Singing Continues]
- [No Audible Dialogue]
90
00:06:01,479 --> 00:06:05,609
- ♪♪ [Ends]
- That's it.
91
00:06:07,184 --> 00:06:10,813
- My mother was a nun!
- Oh, no, no, no!
92
00:06:10,888 --> 00:06:13,049
Sir, you are through.
You've sung enough.
93
00:06:13,124 --> 00:06:15,115
Now, please leave.
Somebody escort this man out of here.
94
00:06:15,192 --> 00:06:17,422
No, no, no, no!
One more song folks. Here we go.
95
00:06:17,495 --> 00:06:19,656
"Coming Through the Rye."
Everyone knows this one.
96
00:06:19,730 --> 00:06:22,893
♪♪ [Singing]
97
00:06:29,907 --> 00:06:32,933
No, no, no, no, no!
98
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:35,069
Hey!
♪♪ [Continues]
99
00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:38,047
This is him. That's him.
All right, man.
100
00:06:38,115 --> 00:06:40,049
You were supposed to be admitted
this morning. Come on, Mr. Walker. Let's go.
101
00:06:40,117 --> 00:06:43,678
- Oh, I'm not Mr. Walker.
- Okay, Mr. Leprechaun. Let's go.
102
00:06:43,754 --> 00:06:47,053
Oh, I'm not a Leprechaun either. I'm
the king of the moth people. Whoo-hoo-hoo!
103
00:06:47,124 --> 00:06:49,285
- Yes. I do love the king of the moth people.
- Okay.
104
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,351
King of the moth people, why don't
you fly towards the light? Come on.
105
00:06:51,429 --> 00:06:54,956
Oh. No, not the light.
No, no, no. I can't resist the light.
106
00:06:55,032 --> 00:06:57,227
Oh, help me. Oh. Ohh.
107
00:07:00,738 --> 00:07:03,468
♪♪ [Hip-Hop]
108
00:07:03,541 --> 00:07:07,068
♪♪ [Man Rapping]
109
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:14,139
♪♪ [Continues]
110
00:07:27,631 --> 00:07:31,624
♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct]
111
00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:34,068
♪♪ [Ends]
112
00:07:37,174 --> 00:07:40,075
[Announcer] Welcome back tothe World Championship Sumo Wrestling.
113
00:07:40,144 --> 00:07:44,274
Say hello to the number one
heavyweight contender Pernell Dorsett.
114
00:07:44,348 --> 00:07:46,282
[Makes Karate Noises]
115
00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:48,614
- Percy in the house, baby!
- Now, Percy, you know...
116
00:07:48,686 --> 00:07:50,620
you and I go back a long way...
117
00:07:50,688 --> 00:07:53,384
and there's always talk in the locker room
and out that you're anorexic.
118
00:07:53,457 --> 00:07:55,448
- Would you like to shed some light on this?
- Yep.
119
00:07:55,526 --> 00:07:57,824
I'm not anorexic. I eat all the time.
[Falsetto Grunt]
120
00:07:57,895 --> 00:08:00,762
- Well, come on, Percy.
Now-Now, what did you eat today?
- Why? Do I look fat?
121
00:08:00,831 --> 00:08:02,799
I mean, 'cause I'm tryin'
to lose weight, man.
122
00:08:02,867 --> 00:08:04,801
No, you don't need to lose weight.
As a matter of fact...
123
00:08:04,869 --> 00:08:06,803
I heard you have the metabolism of a gerbil.
124
00:08:06,871 --> 00:08:08,862
[Laughs]
You're just being nice aren't ya, man?
125
00:08:08,939 --> 00:08:11,032
I can stand to lose about five pounds.
I'm huge. Look at this.
126
00:08:11,108 --> 00:08:13,235
Uhhh. Yeah, Pernell.
Today, you're facing a man...
127
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:15,369
who outweighs you by 470 pounds.
128
00:08:15,446 --> 00:08:18,677
[Pernell] Yakamoto, you're a pig,and you are going down.
129
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:21,217
- [Shrill Yell]
- Well, all right folks. There you have it.
130
00:08:21,285 --> 00:08:23,344
Let's get ready to rumble.!
131
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,354
Twelve rounds of sumo wrestling.
132
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:28,016
I'm David Alan Grier with the fight doctor,
Dr. Freddy Pacheco...
133
00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:30,458
- Thursday Night at The Fights.
- [Crowd Clamoring]
134
00:08:32,329 --> 00:08:35,093
[David] Um, now there's Percy.He's, uh, beginning his warm-up.
135
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,658
You know, he brings to minda young Ben Vereen in Pippen.
136
00:08:38,736 --> 00:08:41,204
Of course,that's before the auto accident.
137
00:08:41,272 --> 00:08:44,901
Percy is always one to showthe moves... a real crowd-pleaser.
138
00:08:44,975 --> 00:08:47,637
And here's Yakamoto...
139
00:08:47,711 --> 00:08:50,077
casting the salt...the great tradition of sumo.
140
00:08:50,147 --> 00:08:53,412
And, of course, Percycasting a salt substitute...
141
00:08:53,484 --> 00:08:56,578
preferredby bulimics everywhere.
142
00:08:56,654 --> 00:09:00,613
Of course, the name "Percy,"pronouncedin Japanese... [Guttural Gibberish]
143
00:09:00,691 --> 00:09:02,989
- And I think we arejust about ready to begin.
- [Grunting]
144
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:06,621
Both wrestlers enter the circle in a match-upreminiscent of David and Goliath...
145
00:09:06,697 --> 00:09:08,995
or should I sayGodzilla and Mighty Mouse.
146
00:09:09,066 --> 00:09:12,331
- Oww!
- That is really gonna linger.
147
00:09:12,403 --> 00:09:14,633
And Percy's down.!
148
00:09:15,673 --> 00:09:17,607
- Uh-uh. No, no.
- [Mouthing Words]
149
00:09:17,675 --> 00:09:19,609
No time-outsin here, buddy.
150
00:09:19,677 --> 00:09:22,339
You gotta keep fighting.This isn't the WBC.
151
00:09:23,614 --> 00:09:25,343
[Thud]
152
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:29,482
You're doing great, Percy!
How do you feel?
153
00:09:29,553 --> 00:09:33,319
Hey, man, ain't nothing but a broken spleen,
baby. I got him right where I want him.
154
00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:40,293
That the best you can do?
You fight like Yoko Ono!
155
00:09:40,364 --> 00:09:42,559
[Bellows]
156
00:09:42,633 --> 00:09:48,469
- [Growling Yell]
- [Coughs, Squeals]
157
00:09:48,539 --> 00:09:50,939
Ouch!
Now, that's really gotta hurt. Percy?
158
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:53,135
- Percy, are you under there? Talk to me, Percy.
- Come on, man.
159
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:55,804
Man, this ain't no thing,
but a chicken wing, baby.
160
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,905
I can still take this boy.
You ain't nothing, man.
161
00:09:57,982 --> 00:10:00,246
- You don't want me, big boy.
You don't want me.
- [Growls]
162
00:10:00,317 --> 00:10:02,945
Well, that's about all the time
we have for today, folks.
163
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:06,512
- We'll see you next week!
- [Gong Reverberates]
164
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:13,288
Bachelor number one,
where would you take me on our date?
165
00:10:13,364 --> 00:10:14,854
L...
166
00:10:14,932 --> 00:10:17,628
[Uses Lower Voice]
I would take you to Tiffany's...
167
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:20,932
where you could spend up to
and including two dollars.
168
00:10:21,005 --> 00:10:25,533
- Yeah.
- [Boy] Deronda, are you up there?
169
00:10:25,609 --> 00:10:28,339
It's me, Pookie.
170
00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:32,974
- What's the password?
- Um, Deronda Hightower is so beautiful...
171
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:36,110
um, she make Halle Berry
look like a doo-doo head.
172
00:10:36,186 --> 00:10:39,178
Yeah, okay, you can come in.
We're gonna play house.
173
00:10:39,256 --> 00:10:41,247
Why can't we play post office?
174
00:10:41,325 --> 00:10:45,352
'Cause I'm tired of you
all the time shootin' at me.
175
00:10:45,429 --> 00:10:48,455
- Okay. Let's play house.
- Oh, no, you don't.
176
00:10:48,532 --> 00:10:50,898
No, you don't.
We gotta get married first.
177
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:54,028
You gotta buy the cow before
you get a free milk shake.
178
00:10:54,104 --> 00:10:56,038
Okay.
179
00:10:56,106 --> 00:10:59,473
'Kay, do you take me to be
your awful wedded wife...
180
00:10:59,543 --> 00:11:03,001
- as long as your butt shall live?
- Uh-huh.
181
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,014
[Together]
Marry, marry, marry!
182
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:10,019
- 'Kay, now we have a baby.
- We can't have no babies
if we don't do the "'ception."
183
00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:13,113
I don't wanna do the 'ception!
184
00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:17,024
Then what did I marry you for?
You gotta do the 'ception!
185
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:20,928
But it's my time!
I'm "miniscrating"!
186
00:11:20,998 --> 00:11:25,662
- You say that every night!
- Okay, just hurry.
187
00:11:27,738 --> 00:11:30,400
Ooh, baby, baby, baby.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
188
00:11:30,474 --> 00:11:33,341
Baby, baby, baby, baby.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
189
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:35,344
Oh, Harold, you're the king.
190
00:11:38,649 --> 00:11:41,140
Oh, great!
Another mouth to feed.
191
00:11:41,218 --> 00:11:45,154
- I thought you was wearing a "diagram."
- Well, uh...
192
00:11:45,222 --> 00:11:47,383
I thought you was
wearing a "condominium."
193
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:51,019
[Scoffs] It's hard enough out here
with what the man lets me earn.
194
00:11:51,095 --> 00:11:56,089
My mama told me not to marry
a man with no "damnbition."
195
00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:59,499
[Imitates Baby's Cries]
The baby is born.
196
00:11:59,570 --> 00:12:01,504
And he looks just like his daddy.
197
00:12:01,572 --> 00:12:04,473
Yeah, toothless and broke.
198
00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:08,568
Why don't you just cut it off!
I'm going out!
199
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:12,809
- [Departing Footsteps]
- Well, don't let the doorknob
hit you in the booty!
200
00:12:12,883 --> 00:12:17,513
And if you come back after midnight,
you're gonna sleep on the couch.
201
00:12:17,588 --> 00:12:20,853
Oh, I had to come back.
I don't like sleeping on the couch.
202
00:12:20,924 --> 00:12:23,984
- Make my back hurt.
- Okay.
203
00:12:24,061 --> 00:12:26,188
Then we got to play
what I wanna play.
204
00:12:26,263 --> 00:12:28,823
- Do you wanna play the 'ception?
- No!
205
00:12:28,899 --> 00:12:31,231
I wanna play doctor.
You be the doctor.
206
00:12:31,301 --> 00:12:33,326
- Okay, I'll be the doctor.
- Oh!
207
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:35,634
Oh, Doctor. Doctor.
208
00:12:35,706 --> 00:12:37,867
My tummy hurts, and I'm sick.
209
00:12:37,941 --> 00:12:41,308
Sounds like a very
critical condition you are in.
210
00:12:41,378 --> 00:12:43,471
Do you have any health insurance?
211
00:12:43,547 --> 00:12:46,573
- No.
- Your ass dead.
212
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,624
♪♪ [Hip-Hop Instrumental]
213
00:12:58,996 --> 00:13:01,191
♪♪ [Continues]
214
00:13:08,272 --> 00:13:13,642
♪♪ [Continues]
215
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,124
♪♪ [Ends]
216
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:38,017
- [Baby Babbling]
- [Announcer] Previously on In Living Color.
217
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:41,850
[Woman's Voice] It's all right,little Wanda, I'm going to find your daddy.
218
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:44,982
- ♪♪ [Bluesy Sax Riff]- [Man's Voice] It was another late night...
219
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and I was alone in my officewith my only true friend in the world... Jack.
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I hadn't had a casein over three months...
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but, then, she walked in.
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Hey!
For real though.
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She had a body that could stop a truck...
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and a face that apparently had.
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- Excuse me, I need a private dick.
- Ma'am?
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- You see, I'm in trouble.
- You're absolutely right, ma'am.
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- There's a leash law in this town.
- Oh.
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You so crazy.
No, look.
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I'm trying to find the father
of my little baby here.
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Could you give me
a description of the man?
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Oh, I don't remember how he was.
All I remember is...
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the naked booty
jumpin' out my window.
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Naked booty?
Mmm, I see the resemblance.
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Anyway...
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But what do you hope to achieve
by finding this culprit?
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Well, you know, see,
I don't want Wanda Junior...
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you know, to grow up
like I had did.
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'Cause I don't think she should
do that in this world the way it is now.
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'Cause all I had to do was
just survive on my good looks.
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I don't think she's
gonna have that problem.
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Well, you know what, mister. I'd just
like to thank you for taking my case.
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And if you ever need to find me,
you just whistle.
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- You know how to whistle, don't you?
- Sure, I do.
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- All right.
- [Blows Silent Dog Whistle]
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[Dog-like Howl]
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This detective gameis an ugly business...
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and itjust got uglier.
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Hey, thanks for watching.
We'll see you next week on...
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♪ In Living Color♪♪
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♪♪ [Theme]
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♪♪ [Continues]
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