All language subtitles for Gossip Girl - S01E13 - The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate

Into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.
I know who Blair
and those girls are,

but I know who I am,
and I'm not gonna forget that

just 'cause
I hang out with them.
The previously mentioned
excited artist is my wife.

I thought you said the artist
lived in Hudson.

(Bex) If the trains
ever stop running.
He proposed before we left,

and I'm going to say yes.
Take care, Rufus.

Unless you want
dear Nathaniel to know how

you lost your virginity to me
in the back of a moving vehicle,

I encourage Patience
and restraint.
Isn't there someone else
you can torture?

If you're ready to forgive me,
nothing can tear us apart.
I love you, Nate Archibald.

Are we really gonna do this?
Yeah.

(Blair) Do you like me?
(Chuck) Define "like."

And who am I?

That's a secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me.

X.o.x.o., gossip girl.

What's the difference
between gossip and scandal?

So glad you asked, ues4ever.

Anyone can commit
a minor indiscretion

and generate
a day's worth of buzz,

but in order for gossip
to birth a true scandal,

it requires the right person
to be in the wrong place.

(Nadia oh)
♫ and you smile back ♫

♫ it felt just like ♫

♫ a heart attack, oh ♫

♫ it happened time ♫

(Camera phone shutter clicks)
♫ and time again, uh-huh ♫

Take one "it" girl
on a pedestal.

Which one do you recommend?

Add a crowd
eager to see her fall

and give them the means
to knock her down.

♫ I know your name, oh ♫

(Cell phone alert rings,
cell phone rings)

(Girl) I can't believe this.
Oh, my god.

(Cell phone beeps,
cell phone rings)

♫ like I want you,
I got your name ♫

Dan!

What? What? What?
You okay?
No.

I'm fine. Uh, I was
just testing my screaming

to see
its screaming efficiency.
Well, dad,
then with your permission,

now I'd like to kill her,
please.
(Rufus) What are you hiding?

Nothing, dad, stop.
You're invading my privacy.
This is a loft.
We have no privacy.

No, stop. You guys.

(Scoffs) Dan, you're gonna
be really sorry you did that.

Jenny, would you excuse us?

(Cell phone alert chimes)

Is there something
you want to tell me?

Am I that obvious?
Yes, actually.

That hair color
is all wrong for you. (Laughs)

That's funny.

This isn't.

(Sighs) Please say something.

A-anything would be better

than this "I am
so disappointed in you" silence.

Since the time you could walk,

your mother and I...
We knew you were special.

You were very smart,
very talented,

and we promised each other
we would do whatever it took

to give you a bright future,
and that did not include

you becoming
a teenage father.
Dad, this wasn't
a part of my plan either.

Seriously,
not a part of the plan,

but whatever
Serena decides to do,

i-i-i want to be there for her.

I-I have to be there for her.

I love her.

Dan...
I do.

I do, whether she's pregnant,
whether she's not pregnant...

I-I love her.

First things first.
I think you need to talk to her.

Maybe it's not even true.
Did you hear what I just said?

I heard you, and I hope
you heard what I said.

(Falling up's "the dark side
of indoor track meets" playing)

(Boy laughs) Hey, mom.

Yes, I'm pregnant,
and it's yours.

Hey. I've been calling you every
two seconds for the past hour.

Oh, I left my cell at home.
I-I kinda had a lot on my mind.
I know, and I'm... I'm sorry...

No, wait, wait, wait.
Me first.

I'm sorry that you didn't feel
that you could tell me,

and no matter what you decide,
I want you to know

that I'm here for you because
i-i-i... because I love you.
Dan, I'm not pregnant,

so you don't have to say that.
I mean, you don't have to,

because, um, I get it. You would
have done the right thing.

Um, thank you, though. That...
That's... that's really sweet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
of course. Yeah.

Well, hey, that's good news...
The no baby part.

It's really good news,
like my-dad's-probably-gonna-

throw-a-party-good news.
Your dad? Look,
can we actually talk later?

I'm late to meet Blair.
She's on the steps of the met.

Oh, yeah, no, go. Go, go.
It can wait,

unlike Blair, who's waiting
on the steps, right?
Exactly. Yeah.

Okay, I'll talk to you later.
Okay, all right.

(Kati speaks indistinctly)
(Blair) Her new line
was fabulous.

(Laughs)

Hi!

Jenny, hi.
(Scoffs) You're late.

Yeah, I know. I had to drop some
books off at the library. Sorry.

Would you do me a favor?
Anything.

Move down a couple steps.

(Horn honks)

You know, this whole hazing
thing is getting a bit old,

don't you think, b.?
First of all, the hazing
stops when I say it stops.

And for future reference,
only my friends call me "b."

You know, I'm actually gonna go.

I have a lot of stuff
to do before class.
Jenny.

Please, she'll be back.

Hey, you.

Hey.

Hey, guys.
Hey.

(Mouths word)

I'm not pregnant.

Aw, cool.
Congratulations.

Celebratory drinks after school?

Yeah, sure.
Blair, can I talk to you?

Of course.

Excuse me.

Did you get my text?
Of course. Yes, I did,
but I've been...

So then you know I told Dan
I'm not pregnant.

Yes, and I am so happy for you.
Close call, huh?

Are we really gonna play
that old game, b.?

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Whenever something happens
that's not a part of your plan,

you pretend like
it doesn't exist.

You act like you're in this
movie about your perfect life,

then I have to remind you,

the only one
watching that movie is you.

You admitted
that your period was late.
Yes, I've been very stressed.
I had that chem test on Friday.

And you're acting
like a total bitch

because you're not hormonal?
Maybe I am a total bitch.
Did you ever think about that?

Just take the test, b.

(Whispers) Stop it.

Just take the test.

You need to know if you
and Chuck are gonna have a baby.

And for a scandal
to really blow up,

all it needs
is an unexpected turn.

(Machine translations'
"you'll change" playing)

(Blair giggles)

♫ green eyes
and stockings are it ♫

Would you do me
a really big favor?

What is it, sweetie?

I need you to come with me
to visit my dad in rehab.

Please.

Really?

Yeah, it's just...

It gets really awkward
when I have to go alone now,

and I don't know
what to say anymore.

He loves you. You always
know how to make him laugh.

Nathaniel Archibald,

you have never asked me
for anything,

and here you are,
officially leaning on me.

This time we're gonna
be so much better together.

We already are.

♫ Strange words
from my horse's head ♫

♫ white birds
and watch where I tread ♫

Well, at least now you know.
Know what?
That I've wasted half the year

trying to be friends
with someone

that's never going to like me?
Uh, yeah. That's exactly it.

Hey. Guys. So...

Dad.

(Sighs)

You're not
gonna be a grandfather.

That's cool.

That's really cool.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes!

Yes.
(Both laugh)

And I thought I was relieved.
It's not all good news, though.

Uh...

I-I told her I love her,
and she thinks I only said that

because I thought
she was pregnant.
Well, son,
that's probably a good thing.

Gives you a minute to step back
and enjoy being 17.

You two were moving
a bit too fast anyway.

I'm late for the gallery,
but we can talk more later.

Wow. I've never seen you
give up so easily.

Can you not start with me?
Can you not be so easy
to start with?

Why are you taking his advice?
He's old and alone.
What?

Tell Serena again
without the pregnancy scare,

in a quiet,
no distractions kind of way.

But then again,
what do I know about romance,

friends or anything else?
No, no, no, no, no.

Actually, Jen, that's...
That's a very good idea.

Oh, right.

What would you do without me?

Promise me
I will find out one day.

(Chuckles)

(Door opens)

Hey, b.

What are you doing here?
In the neighborhood.

Can we talk later? Despite
your best efforts to ruin it,

I'm actually having a good day,
and I don't want anything

to spoil it. Guess who asked me
to visit the captain with him?
I don't know. Nate?

Yes. It's like he finally
needs me and isn't afraid to...
Look, b., I understand
why you're reluctant

to burst your happy bubble,
but I'm not giving up.
Well, I'm sorry,
if unlike some people,

I haven't been on the pill
since I was 15.
Okay, I am giving up.

Before you start planning
your perfect night with Nate,

don't you think you should...
I'm not pregnant, Serena.

(Scoffs)

(Door shuts)

(Italian music playing)

What's wrong?
Was it something I cooked?

No. No, no, no.
I'm sorry.

It's honestly the best spaghetti
I've ever tasted.

Thank you, even if I did have
to drag it out of you myself.

(Chuckles)

(Jenny) Hey, guys.

Hey, Jenny.

(Dan) Go back to your room,
Jenny.

I'm just getting juice.

Excuse me.

Hey, Jen.
Could you do me a favor

and drink your juice
at Vanessa's, maybe?

(Lowered voice) I'm going back
to my room, closing the door,

putting on my headphones
and ignoring you and your date.
Excellent. Thank you.

Where were we?

Um...

Well, let... let's try this.

Why don't you tell me
what's on your mind?

Then it can be on our minds,

and our minds can worry about
what's on your mind, together.

I have no idea
what you just said.

I don't know
what I said either, but, um,

what I'm saying now
is talk to me.

I never thought I was pregnant.

The test was for Blair.
Oh, wait, wait.
I'm confused.

She just got back together
with Nate.

So... oh. Then who?

Chuck.

Chuck?

And Blair?

Blair and Chuck?

Then why isn't he the one
buying the test?
Because...

Because he's an ass.
Who doesn't know.

Why not?

I mean, there's no love lost
between me and Chuck bass,

but I gotta believe
he... he deserves to know.

He... he does have
this weird influence over her.

Maybe he could talk her
into taking the test.

(Sighs) I just...
I'm so worried about her.

Come here.

This may be the most amazing
purchase you'll ever make

in your entire
lovely existence.
Your day almost over?

Not quite. I've got
a few canvases to wrap

and a little more paperwork.
I'm trying to get you to ask me
out for after-work drinks.

Oh, oh. Uh, okay.

I'm sorry I didn't realize,

uh...

I guess you're not done
for the day after all,

but when you are, call me.

(Dashboard confessional)
♫ you know his touch ♫

♫ a little too well ♫

♫ you throw yourself ♫

Hi, Rufus. Remember me?

Bex, right? Art dealer.

Yeah, you bought
a very special piece

for Lily Van Der Woodsen.

I'm looking for some things
for a couple other clients.

Any new discoveries
since the last time I was here?
A few.

There's a beautiful mixed media
piece on this wall over here.

♫ Where upper crust tragedies
abound ♫

As I recall,
you had a wife in Hudson.

That still true?

Uh, she's still there.
I'm still here.

Made things a little difficult.

Mm.

Still trying?

I'm trying to move on.

Hmm. Tomorrow night
too soon to start?

I suppose not.

Sounds good.

Okay. (Chuckles)

(Knock on door)

Hi, Chuck.

Please, call me "brother."

I need to talk to you.

About getting knocked up?
I must say

I was a little disappointed
you weren't more careful.

Chuck, I really need
to trust you.

I'm hoping
that deep down inside,

you're actually a decent person

and won't make me regret this.

You're here for Blair,
aren't you?

Look, I'm not going
to tell Nate about us.

I tortured her, got bored
and moved on.

There's no moving on just yet.

The pregnancy test wasn't
for me. It was for Blair.

What?
She won't take it.

So given that if
she's pregnant, you're the...
No, we used a condom.

Well, obviously, it broke.
What is obvious

is that your best friend
has kept you in the dark.

What are you talking about?
Like I said,

I handle my business.
Apparently, Nate doesn't.

They slept together
just after we did.

It's him you should
be asking for help.

(Dan yawns) Hey, dad.

I need to talk to to you
about something.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's
a little early in the morning

for the teens-gone-wild
contingency plan, isn't it?

It's not about
your relationship with Serena.
Oh. Oh, then what?

I need to know how
you and Jenny would feel

if I went out tonight
for a drink... with a woman.

Well, I guess I feel like
you shouldn't wear that shirt,

or there will not
be a second date.

Really?
R-really.

Thanks.

Now I guess I just have
to worry about Jenny then.

Good morning.
Hi.

Good morning, sunshine.

Dad, where'd you get that shirt?

What's wrong with this shirt?
Nothing,

as long as you don't plan
to wear it out of the house.

It's worse. He plans
on wearing it on a date.

For drinks, if that's okay.
Whatever. It's awful.

Guess you have your answer.
Answer to what?

Nothing.
Nothing.

(Elevator bell dings)

Morning.

Good morning, miss Serena.

Anybody notice
the weather today?
What?

Take a look outside, b.
My first response

would be that the sky
is a clear blue easy.

Dorota, you may be excused now.

I can't believe you didn't
tell me about you and Nate.

What did he say?
Nothing. Chuck did,
when I went to see him

because I thought maybe he could
talk some sense into you.

You had no right to do that.
I was trying to help you, b.
I took a public bullet for you,

let another rumor about me
run rampant.

The whole school heard,
even Dan.

What's going on?

Ask Blair. Her version
of the story's always better.

Fine.

You all right?

Never been better.

Well, Serena has.
What's wrong?

I don't know. I can't be held
responsible for her mood swings.

Were you arguing

about the possibility

that your condition
may have returned?

No. And it hasn't.

I heard you...

The other day,

in your bathroom,
with the water running.

I'm very stressed.

And with you and Serena
down my throat,

I can hardly think straight,
never mind keep food down.

Maybe you do just need
to take a little break, huh?

Visit your father? Lyon is
beautiful this time of year.
Maybe this summer.

Summer sounds great.
Finish your breakfast.

(Alarm clock rings)

(Sighs)

I'm not pregnant.

I command myself
not to be pregnant.

(Cell phone rings)

Hello?
Hey, s. It's b.

Two things.

First... I'm sorry

about Dan,
about the "gossip girl" blast

and about not telling you
about Nate.
Okay.

You were just so hard on me
about Chuck.

I didn't want to be judged
for sleeping with them both.

I understand.
Apology accepted.

That was fast.
If I were you,

I would've made me work for it
a little bit harder.

Well, I think
you've suffered enough.
And second thing...

Wait. That's already,
like, three things.
I took the test.
I'm not pregnant.

Aah! (Laughs) Oh, my gosh!
Are you kidding me?

(Laughs) Aah!

Oh, I am so happy.

I would have had no idea what
to wear to a paternity hearing.
Clean slate?

Oh, clean slate.
Oh, I'm so happy.

See you at school.

(Sighs)

Oh, don't stop
on my account.
Oh, I have to.

Secondhand smoke
is bad for the, uh...
I'm not pregnant,
so good-bye,

mistake so far in my past
I can hardly remember.

You cannot be serious.
You can't be touching me.

Look, if you were
gonna tell Nate,

you would have done so
in Monaco,

but you don't want him to
hate you, and you know he would.

Game over.
Game's not over
until I say it is.

Then have fun
playing with yourself.

(Cell phone beeps)

(Beep)

Oh.

(Sighs)

Got 'em.
(Giggles)

Oh.

Are... are... are you cold?
I'm okay.

It's pretty cold. Here,
let me get you this blanket.

This will be better
to keep you warm.

Um, you... you want
some ginger ale?

Here.
I brought this for us.

We can have a nice little drink.

Um, it might be a little cold,
actually.

I... you okay? You're doing
that, um... thing.

Yeah, I-I know. I'm sorry.
I...

It's just...
I-I don't know.

In... in the short time
we've known each other,

you... you've become
really important to me.

I've been struggling
to find a way to tell you,

struggling now.

Oh, my lit paper.
No, no, no, no, no.

Oh!
No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, my gosh.
Here you go.

I love you. Thank you.
(Laughs)

(Boy) No problem.
All right, take care.

(Dan) That was a close call.

I'm sorry. That would've
completely ruined our picnic.

Yeah.
(Sighs)

Okay, what, um,
what was it you were saying?

Oh, just...

I think I should
proofread this for you. Can I?

Sure. Yeah, but can we eat
first? 'Cause I'm starving.

Yeah. Let's eat.

(School bell rings)

(Multiple cell phones ringing,
beeping)

Can you believe this?

Jenny, come look at this.

(Cell phone alert beeps)

Looks like the virgin queen

isn't as pure
as she pretended to be.

Who's your daddy, b.?
Baby daddy, that is.

Two guys in one week?
Talk about doing the nasty,

or should I just say
being nasty?

(Girl) Oh, my god. You know
she's right about this.

(Girl) Oh, god, there she is.
(Girl) What a total hypocrite.

(Girl)
Who does she think she is?

(Girl) Pot calling the kettle
black much?
I never thought
she was a virgin anyway.

Oh, I can see a bump!
What a bitch.

Oh, my god,
she is such a whore.
Try keeping your legs closed
for a change, Blair.

She cheated on Nate?!
Does Nate know?

(Laughing) Oh, god!

Have you seen Nate?

No.

(Girls speaking indistinctly)

I saw it.

Yeah, Blair's gonna freak out.
I mean, this is a total lie.

Yeah.

Of course it is.

Jenny, look, I know
you're friends with Blair,

and you'd never want to do
anything to betray her,

but if you know something...
Well, Blair was
never really my friend.

So...

So...

Yeah, there's something
you should know.

I don't know
if you would want to her...

(Boy) Whoa, man!

Did you sleep with her, huh?

You son of a bitch.
I could kill you.
Can we talk about this without
your hands around my neck?

What'd you do?
Did you get what you wanted,

like you do
with all those other girls?
Yes, Nathaniel.
I took what Blair

kept throwing at you
and you kept throwing back.
Oh, so somehow you screwing
Blair for sport is my fault?

It wasn't for sport. She needed
someone, and I was there.
Oh, so you cared about her?

You guys were broken up.
What, for how long?
A week? An hour?

Look, I am sorry, all right?

I know how long you and I
have been best friends, okay?
No, it's not okay, Chuck.

From now on,
you stay away from me.
Nate.

Did you hear what I said?

You stay the hell away
from me, Chuck!

Show's over.

(Door slams)

What are you doing here?
Your mom let me in.

I didn't ask how you got in.
I asked why you came.

To talk... about us.

There's no "us," Blair.

Yes, there is. We finally really
have a chance to start over.

You know, all this time, I felt
so bad for everything I've done,

and when you said you wanted
to leave the past in the past,

I didn't know we were
talking about your past.
You had just broken my heart.

I made a decision
I was in no condition to make.
But you're clear-headed now,
right?

Yes.
Then you'll understand
perfectly when I say

I want nothing else
to do with you, Blair.

You and Chuck
deserve each other.
You know Chuck would say
anything, twist the truth.

But Jenny wouldn't.
Jenny?

And don't go blaming
any of this on her, Blair.

I would have found out
eventually. I said I'm done.

It's over.
Now would you please leave?

Fine. Stay as long as you like.
I'll leave.

Bryn. Hi.

Good to see you again.

Rufus, at the risk
of being forward,

I'm here on a dare
from my friends to ask you out.

Then I guess
I have to say, uh...

Yes? Yes, you do.

Well, tonight, I have plans,
but maybe some other night...

Am I interrupting?

Hi.

Uh, Bryn, bex. Bex, Bryn.

Actually, I'm bex.
She must be...
Bryn.

I always get a little
tongue-tied with my b's.

Looks like you're still tied up.

Maybe we should
reschedule drinks.
No, that...
That won't be necessary.

Actually, I think it will.
Good to meet you, Bryn.
(Bryn) You, too. Bye.

Guess you're available
after all.

(Elevator bell dings)

Hey, b. What's up?

I can't believe you told Jenny
about me and Chuck.

What? I-I didn't.

Because of her, everybody knows
the intimate details

of my private life, and now
Nate's not speaking to me.
But I-I told you, b.

I didn't tell Jenny.
I don't know how she found out.
Did you tell Dan?

What?

You did. You told
your low-rent boyfriend,

and he told
his social-climbing sister

who wears my hand-me-downs,
and she blabbed to Nate.

I can't believe
you're attacking Dan and Jenny.

Did you or did you not tell him?

I did,

but only because
you weren't dealing with it,

and I wanted advice
on how to help you.
I can't believe
you don't get it.

The rules are different

for the Serena Van Der woodsens
of the world.

People expect you to party
and be wild,

sleep with whoever you want,
run away, come back.
Wait, are we really
going back there?

You shot your reputation to hell
a long time ago.

It doesn't matter what you do,
but I'm a Waldorf.
Well, since you
and your reputation

obviously don't need me
and my low-rent taste,

you and the Waldorf name
can weather the storm alone.

(Elevator bell dings)

With pleasure.

Hey, Jenny.

Hi.

Are you joining us?
Um...

What are you doing here?
I was just leaving.

No, stay.

Blair, given you can barely
manage your own messy affairs,

surely you're not
in a position to tell anyone

where they can and can't eat.
Do you realize
who you're talking to?

You mean a self-righteous bitch
who always sat

on her own high horse
judging everyone else?
Pregnant little hypocrite.

Not that
it's any of your business,

but I'm not pregnant.

Nate must be thrilled.
Chuck, too.

What are you talking about?

The whole school
saw them throwing down

over your cheap ass.

The boyfriend
and the best friend?
Pretty classy.

Consider yourself dethroned,

queen b.

Jenny.

It is highly unlikely

that I will ever forgive you
for going to Nate,

but if you walk away
from me now,

I will also ruin you.

How are you gonna do that?

(Horns honking)

Good to see you again.

Okay. Bye.
Take care. Enjoy.

(Cell phone beeps)

(Phone rings)

Hi. It's bex.
You know what to do.

(Beep)

Hi. It's Rufus,

calling again to apologize
about last night again.

I really didn't mean
to insult you or disrespect you

or whatever it is I did.

I'm new at this, and well...

I'm new at this.

(Sighs) You told Jenny
about Blair and Chuck?

No. No, of course not.

Well,
you're the only one I told.

And I didn't tell anybody.

How can I know that?

Because I gave you my word.

Because I love you.

What?

I love you,

and not just because
I thought you were pregnant

and not in the way you love

some random guy
who picks up your lit paper

or some girl
who likes your hair.

Oh.

Okay.

"Okay"?

(The figurines'
"the air we breathe" playing)

That response is not okay.

♫ Do you feel
the air we breathe? ♫

♫ And do you feel
the air we need? ♫

♫ Do you feel
the things I see? ♫

♫ And do you feel
close to me? ♫

♫ Do you feel
the air we breathe? ♫

♫ And do you feel
the air we need? ♫

♫ Do you feel
the things I see? ♫

♫ And do you feel
close to me? ♫

♫♫

I'm such an ass.
Let me guess. Dan?

(Sighs)

He told me loved me,

and all I did was stand there
like a stupid mute.

I mean, why wouldn't I want
to hear those words

come out of his mouth? But it's
like it made me trust him less,

which is crazy, and even if he
is lying about telling Jenny,

even though I told him not
to tell anyone, I should have

come up with a better response
to "I love you."
Not that I even know
what you're talking about,

but why would you think
he was lying?
Because I'm the only one
who knew,

and he's the only one I told.
Do you know how many times
I was listening in

on your conversations
when you thought I wasn't?
Ooh. None, I hope.

You hope wrong.
I'm a little brother.

It's what I do, and you
don't have to be a genius

to figure out the trust thing.
I mean, every time

mom brought home someone
who said, "I love you,"

they would end up married.
And then divorced.

Didn't leave us with
a strong sense of trust, huh?

But that's mom's issue,
not ours,

and Dan's not one of those guys.

Okay, this conversation
has to end,

because you're getting
dangerously close

to being smarter than I am,

(Dan cray trio's "good-bye"
playing)

No, thank you.
All right.

I came to congratulate you
in person.

You ruined my relationship
with Nate,

Serena, all of my friends.

Even little Jenny
thinks she's too good for me,

so... bravo.

Just like you wanted.

I have no one to turn to
but you.

Actually,
you don't even have me.

Enough.

I'll try to be more succinct.

You held a certain fascination

when you were beautiful,

delicate...

And untouched.

But now you're like...

One of the Arabians
my father used to own...

Rode hard and put away wet.

I don't want you anymore,

and I can't see
why anyone else would.

(Ice cubes rattle)

(Elevator bell dings)

You okay?

I'd be a lot better
if I could spend a semester

going to school in France.

A semester?

Well, I-I already talked
to Harold about a visit,

and he was... he was thrilled.

So can I go?

Now?

(Voice breaking)
Mom, please try.

Blair, I am very concerned.

So book a flight.

We'll get you out tomorrow.

Thank you.

Who's up for a barneys drive-by?

(Is and kati) Me.
Ooh. Followed by hot sake
at decibel.

Huh. I don't think so.
Yeah. She made out
with the bartender last time.

Now he thinks she loves him.
What about you, little j.?

Oh, I can't. I have to return
these books to the library.

Elise will take them for you,

won't you, e.?

Yeah, sure.

It's okay. I can do it.

The question isn't
if you can do it, Jenny,

it's if you should have to.

I'm going there anyway.

Okay.

Let me know
if you need anything else.

You coming?

Props to Blair.
She trained you well.

Hi.

Hi.

Don't act so surprised
to see me.

How could I not stop by

after all those pitiful messages
you left?
Oh, for the record,

I'm really sorry for what
happened the other night.
So am I.

Look, bex, I was married
for almost 20 years,

and before that, I was
a somewhat successful musician,

and I wouldn't really call
what I was doing dating.
What was it then?

A succession of women...

Groupies, mostly...
Whose chose me.

I really don't have
any experience

with real honest-to-goodness
dating.

Despite your worst efforts,

I am completely charmed by you,
Rufus Humphrey.

Thanks, I think.

Okay.

Here's where we are.

Dating 101, lesson 1.

In two days,
you're gonna call me

and thank me for forgiving you
of your dating faux pas.

You'll ask me out to dinner...
Someplace elegant

but intimate, and we are
going to have a fabulous time.

You got all that?
Absolutely.

Good.
Talk to you in two days.
Two days.

Okay.

(Cell phone rings)

(Ring)

(Chuckles)

Hello?

I never was good
at following rules.

(Knock on door)

Hey.
What are you doing here?

I need to know why you love me.

(Sighs) Because I do.

I really want to trust you
when you say those words, Dan,

so maybe if I knew why, I'd stop
being so scared of hearing them

and afraid to say them.

Okay.

Well, if you want
to talk about why...

It has to do with my mom
and her many marriages.

There. That's why.

Because I actually like it
when you interrupt me,

which is often, by the way.

I love you
because you make no apologies

about being exactly
who you are...

Beautiful, smart,

sexy as hell...

Now you're embarrassing me.

That's another reason.

You're completely unaware
of your affect on me.

You're also completely unaware

that you laugh
like a 4 year old.
(Laughs)

Just like that.

And I love you because
you can be with someone like me

and still be best friends
with someone like Blair.

Yeah, well, I tried to be.

I know you do,
and that's not easy,

but you never give up on her.

That is how amazing you are.

Well, you're amazing, too,

for being able to say
all of those things,

you just are.

And I love you...

But I have to go.

What? What... what is it
this time?

One of the many reasons
you love me.

(Nicole scherzinger's
"happily never after" playing)

Blair.

What?

You want a lift to j.F.K.?

Your mom said you were
going to France tonight.

She has a big mouth.
B., I'm your best friend.

She was shocked I didn't know.

Well, now you do.

What I know is how you felt when
I left without telling you.

Is there a reason you're here?

Stay.

Don't let some stupid scandal
make you run away

like it did me, like it does
everyone in our world.

♫ After all ♫

Everything's horrible.

(Voice breaking) My whole life
is falling apart.

So rebuild it.

You're a Waldorf, remember?

People don't tell you
who you are. You tell them.

Stay and fight.

I'll fight with you.

I'm so embarrassed.

I'm so...

So what?

Start over.

It can be done.

I should know.

We'll get through this together.

Promise?

Promise.

♫ Happily never after ♫

♫ that just ain't for me ♫

♫ because finally ♫

♫ I know ♫

♫ I deserve better ♫

♫ after all ♫

♫ I'll never let
another teardrop fall ♫
♫ oh ♫

Stop, guys.

I'm going home.

♫ Never after ♫

♫ that just ain't for me ♫

♫ oh ♫

♫ I'll never let
another teardrop fall ♫

♫ oh ♫

♫ oh ♫

♫ oh ♫

One good scandal
deserves another.

Wonder who's going down next?

Everybody, if b. Has anything
to say about it.

You know you love me,

x.o.x.o., gossip girl.