Original subtitles

Into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

How's your mom doing? My dad left her for another man.

Something about uh... uh, mom and a neighbor? Yeah. It's complicated.

Mom's having an affair. It's easy for me to say it. It happened one time, and it's over.

Then why did our daughter have to go to Hudson

and drag you back here? I'm sorry I kissed you, but I did it

because I thought he should know how it feels to lose you. So when can we go public?

My kids have to know first.

My friend Vanessa... she moved away to Vermont last year,

and now she's back. You guys just have everything in common,

and, um, I'm just getting to know him.

This thing between us... It's over for good.

(Blair) Nate is a gentleman. He would never cause a scene.

Where to, Mr. Bass? The airport.

And who am I?

That's a secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me.

X.o.x.o., gossip girl.

(All) ♫ Santa, baby, a '54 convertible, too ♫

♫ light blue ♫ ♫ light blue ♫

Hey, upper east siders. It's Christmas in New York,

and along with the season

comes the constance billard/ St. Jude's bazaar,

where the only thing bizarre are the donated items for sale.

How about an antique butter churn?

Oh, my gosh. That would go so well with my loom.

I know what I'm getting you for Christmas now. All right.

(Laughs) Oh, for when I move to Siberia?

No. Come on. New York hardly even gets cold anymore,

and it never snows. Who wants chestnuts

roasted on an open fire when it feels like Florida? Okay, global warming grinch.

I'm just saying, Christmas should be white and snowy.

I'd even settle for Manhattan slush. Mm.

There you are.

Hey, Vanessa. What are you doing here? Hey.

Merry Christmas. This is a copy of "the new yorker."

Thank you, but you know I already have a subscription. There's something else in there... a letter.

What does it say, Serena?

"Dear Mr. Humphrey, we are pleased to advise you

"that we would like to publish your short story

in our summer fiction issue featuring '20 under 20.'"

it's a contest for young unknown writers, and I might have...

Oh, my god! Submitted you.

I'm gonna be published in "the new yorker." That... oh.

This ca... this can't be real. Is... is this... is this real? This is so great.

I haven't even read one of your stories. Oh, don't worry. He doesn't show them to anyone.

I swiped this one out of his drawer on the pretense

of borrowing a stapler. Slick. You never did return that stapler, by the way.

Mnh-mnh.

Let's see. You story is called "10-8-05."

What's that date?

Vanessa, thank you. I don't know how you did this,

but this is the best present ever.

(Choir) ♫ so hurry down the chimney tonight ♫

♫ hurry tonight ♫

♫ Santa, baby ♫ (Cheers and applause)

I can't believe we just took a cab for $32.

Well, I can't believe you were gonna wait an hour

for another subway. They said another train was on its way.

Uh, excuse me. Pardon me. Oh.

Oh. Rufus, Alison, hello.

Hi.

Oh, Rufus.

Uh, you remember my friend Bartholomew bass?

Hi. From, uh, Eleanor's? Yeah. Hello.

Eleanor's? Oh, this is my wife Alison.

(Alison) Hi. How do you do?

Well, it's lovely to see you both.

Excuse us, please.

I guess Lily's targeted her next billionaire.

Actually, I think she's had him in her sights for a while.

Well, that was awkward. It wouldn't be

if you let people know what we were doing together. I'm just starting to trust you again.

And the only reason you didn't trust me last time

was because of a misunderstanding. Yes, and to avoid another one, please understand

that if it doesn't work out between us again,

I'm gonna feel twice as humiliated.

Not telling people about us ensures that we don't work out. (Sighs)

Look, when I committed myself to you, I meant it.

You know I am in love with you.

What are you waiting for?

Blair.

Oh, happy holidays.

Happy holidays... mwah... Ms. Van Der Woodsen.

Mr. Bass, I didn't think that you were still in town.

I figured that you were with... With Charles? No. Sadly, I am stuck here on business

while he suns himself at my hotel in Monaco.

I have my staff keeping an eye on him,

and I'll join him for new year's.

Oh, right. I-i, uh, was wondering

why he'd been so quiet, and Monaco answers my question.

Yeah.

Lovely to see you two. Bye. You, too.

(Beeping)

(Beep) Blair, there you are.

I-I can't talk right now, Serena. I'm late, and I have... A huge sweet tooth?

They're for my dad and me. We get them every year,

and he landed from Paris 27 minutes ago. Oh, then vite, vite! I'll parle while you marche.

Come on. I said vite!

(Indistinct conversations)

Hey!

Nice holiday spirit, scrooge!

Oh, gosh. So it's gonna be a real Waldorf Christmas?

Well, a real Waldorf Christmas Eve.

Eleanor drew the line at Christmas day.

That's only for me, her and Dorota. Well, you still have a couple days with your dad.

No, it'll be more than just a couple days.

I'm gonna convince him to stay in New York. What about Paris and Roman?

Roman is a phase. My father belongs here with me.

He only left New York to ride out the scandal. Oh!

Time to come home, don't you think?

Hey, did you want to ask me something? Yes, a gift idea for Dan now that Vanessa got him

the most thoughtful Dan-like present ever. Why don't you just buy him a new outfit for Cedric

and call it a day? Thank you for being totally not helpful at all.

See you tomorrow night.

Bye.

(Elevator bell dings)

Hi!

Blair-bear!

Oh! Oh, look at you.

Mm. More beautiful than ever.

(Laughs)

Uh, sweetheart,

you remember Roman?

Blair.

Ah. Mm.

You are still perfection.

Delicate, yet full with flavor,

like a macaron.

Imagine my surprise when the elevator door opened

and out popped both of 'em. (Chuckles)

Well, I didn't think you'd mind.

It's the perfect opportunity

for you two to get to know each another better.

Absolutely. It's for you. Oh, sweetheart, you remembered.

It's, uh, our tradition.

That's for you.

Merci, Blair.

My pleasure.

(Swing jazz music playing)

My son, the writer.

(Alison) Published writer. Yeah, you got your dream girl

and your story in "the new yorker."

(Jenny) Maybe you should just die now. That's true. I may have peaked.

This one is from the smiths.

"Season's greetings." That's very original.

Their name's Smith. They don't have to be original.

This one is from, uh, Alex.

What?

"Alison, meet... meet me on the 24th for..." No, Dan.

And that's not a Christmas card.

(Opens card)

(Lowered voice) Why is he writing to you?

Sending cards to the house? Asking to see you?

I don't know.

Guys, we're... we're still here. We can hear you.

Rufus, it's over with Alex, okay?

I-i-I'm home now with my family.

Good.

(Sighs)

Let's all rewind and just pretend this never happened. (Clears throat)

This is not gonna ruin our Christmas. Hmm?

(Speaking French)

I can't believe you're okay with this. Who said I am okay with this?

What am I supposed to do, make a scene?

Behave like some pathetic, scorned wife? No.

(Speaks French) Roman does not even know how to ice-skate.

Can't you escort him out of the park

on your way to the meeting? Maybe drop him at a nail salon?

I cannot bother myself trying to wrestle Roman away from you.

I have to mentally prepare.

I am meeting with the c.E.O. Of Victoria's secret, after all. Victoria's secret?

Yes, I'm... I'm designing a line

of retro-chic sleepwear and lingerie and I... I'm looking forward to the samples.

We're all very proud.

In fact, mom, why don't you tell Roman all about it? Oh, yes.

I'm sure he'd be fascinated. (Speaks indistinctly)

It's so good to have you here. Well, it's good to be here.

Now where's the handsome Nate? Am I gonna see him tonight? Well, he's in Connecticut with his mom.

He said he would try to catch a train

another New York institution that I miss.

You know, you don't have to miss any of it.

Yeah, well, I wish that I could be in two places at once,

my dear, but impossible. Sorry.

You know that chateau near Lyon that I told you about?

Mm-hmm. Roman and I bought it.

You bought that place? Yes.

And with Roman?

The house is flooded with light.

The fireplaces are big enough. I mean, you can walk into them.

The gardens are incroyable.

Uh, pardon me. I'm taking my niece skating,

and I can't seem to locate the rink.

But it's... It's right over there.

Of course. The throng of children in mittens

should have tipped me off. Thank you.

You're welcome.

The handsome man was just flirting with you.

That's absurd. He was not flirting with me.

Roman, it is going to be so dull for you

to sit and watch them skate. Yes. Why don't you go to the petting zoo

and feed the sheep?

Or why don't I join you on the rink? It looks fun.

Wonderful.

Yes. Super.

I'll get you skates. See you there.

Super.

(The plush interiors) ♫ o Christmas tree ♫

♫ o Christmas tree ♫

You're not autographing those

and selling them on ebay, are you? No. No, no.

I'm just checking out some of the previous publishees,

and I'm... I'm in great company here. It's "the new yorker."

V., how can I top this? I can't, really,

unless I rig the oscars for one of your documentaries.

You got in on your own merit.

The only gift I gave you was to lick a stamp, and as for me,

the annual Dan Humphrey Christmas cd mix

is more than enough. All right, yeah.

(Laughs)

Hi!

Hey.

What's in the bag?

Perfection.

Look, I know it's not Christmas yet, but open it, please.

I can't wait. I'm too excited.

Oh, my.

(Laughs)

I noticed the other day that you don't wear a watch,

and then it occurred to me it's because you don't have a watch,

and you're gonna need one to be punctual for all the meetings

with editors and publishers now that you're a fancy

and apparently, self-important writer.

You don't like it. You want the brown band.

No, no, no. I love the band. I love the whole thing.

It's... it's the most amazing watch I've ever seen,

but I can't accept this.

What? Oh, yes, you can.

Look, it's more of a gift for me

because I had so much fun picking it out for you.

You have to. Serena, I buy a book for my dad every Christmas.

I think the most elaborate gift I've ever given

has been a pair of rubber boots from l.L. Bean.

So then I overdid it?

I think even your underdoing it

would be overdoing it.

Look, um, let's... let's... Let's set some rules,

maybe some helpful guidelines.

Fine.

Deadline?

Um, tomorrow morning.

Price limit?

50 bucks.

All right. May the best gift win.

(Lowered voice) Hey, um... Hey.

If it's any help, I can tell you Dan's favorite used book shop.

That's okay. I think I got it.

♫♫

(Man) ♫ I need to sing a song to you tonight ♫

Are you Alex? Who are you?

Rufus Humphrey.

Unless you want to be carried out of here,

you're gonna stay the hell away from my wife.

Calm down now.

You sent a letter to my wife

at my house where my children live?

Whatever you had with her is over.

Why don't you sit down? She told you to leave her alone.

I'm sorry.

That's not what she told me a couple days ago.

Excuse me. You...

You spoke to her?

(Mcguire sisters) ♫ "c" is for the candy trim ♫

♫ around the Christmas tree ♫

♫ "h" is for the happiness ♫

Damn it. You can do it. You can do it.

Look at all these children.

They're skating around fearlessly. Come on. (Cell phone alert beeps)

They got a lot shorter way to fall. Blair, will you help us here? We need you!

Just a second. My laces came undone.

♫ "s" is for the stocking ♫

(Harold) Now here we go.

Ready? Now go to Blair. Okay.

You can do it! Blair!

Come give us a lesson.

Spotted spinning at wollman rink...

The Blair capades. All the grace of Nancy kerrigan,

but packing the punch of Tonya Harding.

♫♫

(Harold) Pauvre Roman.

Ça va?

(Grunts)

Are you all right?

I'm so clumsy. My foot got caught behind the skate. Oh.

(Harold) Oh. Here. Let me help you.

(Roman grunts)

(Elevator bell dings) I cannot believe that daddy decided to stay with Roman

instead of having tea at the Carlyle with me.

The E.R. doctor said he would make a full recovery.

Everything is ruined.

Why would you say that? You and I had a marvelous time.

Well, I'm sorry, mother. It's just not the same.

I don't understand how that French fox stole my father

and your husband

and always seems to come off like a-an innocent lamb.

Roman was not always so innocent, you know.

Really? What's his story?

Mm, well, when I first met him,

he was going out with this model named Freddy,

and Freddy was a horrible scoundrel. Roman would actually be into somebody like that?

Into him? He was... he was absolutely infatuated with him.

Freddy had him under some kind of spell.

I was the one who got him to break out of it

and turn his life around. Don't mention Freddy to your father.

It is a sore subject. Okay. What was Freddy's last name?

Hey. Where were you?

I tried to call you, but your phone was off.

I kept your date for you with Alex.

He's actually a pretty cool guy

other than the fact that he's in love with my wife.

He told me about your phone call.

He... felt that I owed him an explanation,

and he was right.

And you didn't tell me that because...

Because there was nothing to tell.

I told Alex that I was back with my family

and to stop calling.

Would you have come back...

If Jenny hadn't shown up to bring you?

If I hadn't, would Lily be here right now?

I guess by turning our backs on these other people,

we thought we could fix ourselves.

Maybe other people aren't the problem.

Maybe we changed.

And at what point do we admit

that no matter how much we want it or how hard we try...

It's just not working.

I know it's been maybe ten minutes since I last asked,

but are you still sure you don't want to talk about it? Dad said he didn't want to ruin Christmas.

That's what I'm trying to do. Hey, well, just in case you change your mind...

You're here. I know.

(The Dan band's "christmaskwanzakah" playing)

Okay. How about this?

At least you know it's something Serena doesn't have.

A year of cheese for $600? Are these people kidding?

I could buy a cow for that much money and make my own cheese.

You just said "make my own cheese." That's disgusting.

I'm never gonna find this gift for Serena. Yeah, and your gift needs to be especially good this year

to make up for the rest of her Christmas. What do you mean?

Well, she's living in a hotel. You know, how homey can it be?

It's not exactly festive.

Eric told me they don't even allow trees.

(Chuck) Leave a message, and I might listen. (Beep)

(Scoffs) Chuck, you are not answering my calls,

to torture me, I am sure, but please, for the love of god,

do not tell anybody about us, okay?

Please? Please.

Hey. You told me to come right away.

Is everything all right? Yeah.

Why aren't you with your dad? Uh, I need your log-in for your agency's site

from your modeling days. My modeling days?

I did one print ad for gap when I was 12. (Computer beeps)

What, are you holding an open call or something?

I have one specific look in mind.

Uh, okay, well I don't know

if it'll still even be in here, but...

(Typing)

Well, look at that.

Addresses and phone numbers. Perfect.

You know, I called you an hour ago. B.T.W., you're late.

Um, you're lucky I'm even here at all.

It's Christmas Eve, and I still haven't found a gift for Dan.

Now all the stores are closing, and I'm totally screwed.

Do you have any idea what you can buy

for under $50 these days? I don't know. A single entrée at a mid-priced restaurant?

Three-quarters of a DVD box set?

Maybe a pair of wolford stockings.

Oh, stockings. Yes, great idea for Dan.

Blair, please, this is serious.

I don't know. Why don't you buy him a gold money clip

from cartier, say it's $49.99? He won't know the difference.

(Beeping)

What are you doing anyway?

(Phone rings)

I'm booking me a model.

(Ring)

(The Republic tigers) ♫ deck the halls ♫

♫ with boughs of Holly, fa la la la la ♫

(Knocks on counter)

Hey.

I come to you hat in hand, tail between my legs

and off my high horse. (Chuckles)

I spent the entire day searching for the perfect gift for Dan.

Now all the stores are closing, Christmas day is looming,

and, um... I need your help.

I could take this opportunity to gloat,

but I actually like you.

So let's get down to business. What do you have so far?

Um, I found a first edition j.L. Hall book,

original Italian poster of the "400 blows"

and a montblanc fountain pen. All very thoughtful.

And all exceed $50.

Right.

Well, Dan's not really that into things.

Which makes shopping for him kind of hopeless.

The only thing he wants for Christmas is snow.

It's not like I can give him that.

You sure?

♫♫

(Eleanor) Happy holidays.

Welcome. Welcome. (Makes kissing sounds)

(Lily) Oh! Hi. Hi. Hi. I don't know if you've noticed.

We're doing things a little untraditionally this year.

I don't know if you've heard.

I'm designing a line of lingerie for Victoria's secret.

I walked into the store, and I fell in love with this tree.

Isn't that lipstick clever? Isn't it?

Good. Have some eggnog. ("Deck the halls" ringtone plays)

Hello? (Rufus) Hey. It's me.

Hey. So, uh, running into each other at the school fair...

Kind of awkward.

I suppose so, especially after our last phone call.

Rufus, we really shouldn't be speaking.

No, I know.

But if there's something you want to say,

you should go ahead and say it.

Is there something you want me to say?

Rufus...

Why are you calling?

Oh, I...

Just wanted to say merry Christmas.

Hope you have a good holiday.

(Indistinct conversations)

Yes, well...

I'm, um, flying to Anguilla with Bart tonight,

so I'm expecting it to be a-a great holiday...

One for the ages, in fact.

Good night, Rufus. Good-bye.

(Whispers) Anguilla.

What is the matter with me?

(Instrumental "jingle bells" playing)

(Laughs) I don't think so. Oh.

Oh. Excuse me.

What are you doing here? Well, I was hoping to see you again.

I thought it great good fortune that Roman tracked me down

at the skating rink and extended an invitation.

Oh, well...

En... enjoy the party.

Hmm.

How dare you invite a strange man into my home.

Jack came?

Go talk to him.

Bring vodka. Roman...

(Whispers) You practically picked him up off the street.

And then I googled him. His name is Jack roth.

He owns a prominent hedge fund

with offices in London and Barcelona,

and he finds you very attractive.

Well, that's no excuse,

and... and... and I am doing just fine

without your romantic help.

Are you?

Mm-hmm.

Eleanor, we've been friends for a long time...

(Scoffs)

Since before Marc Jacobs went into rehab.

Friends don't steal other friends' husbands.

Is Nate there?

Oh. A few hours ago?

Chuck bass didn't call for him, did he?

Uh, never mind. Did Nate say where he was going?

No, no. Don't... don't disturb Mrs. Archibald.

Um, I'm sure he's on his way here now.

All right. Thank you.

Dorota's gonna kill you if you get glue on that comforter.

Sorry we've turned your room into an art studio, b.,

but the clock is ticking. (Computer beeps)

I'm done.

Wow.

(Laughs) Oh, my gosh.

Wow. That... that's amazing.

(Chuckles)

Thank you so much, Vanessa. This is gonna be... incredible.

Good. I'm glad I could help.

I think he'll really love it.

Vanessa?

I think I'd like to help with this little project.

Would you come and help me find another pair of scissors?

It's so nice what you're doing for your friend Dan,

helping his girlfriend make his Christmas present.

Serena is so grateful

because she likes to see the best in people.

I like to see the truth.

Yeah? And what's that?

I think you like Dan a little too much.

Just thought I should let you know

someone's watching.

Merry Christmas.

I'm taking off. Call me when you're done?

Okay. Where you going?

I'm gonna go check on my daddy. I thought you were gonna help.

I think my work's done here. Oh, hello.

Hi. Good-bye. When you two are done hiding up here,

I'm taking you both out for dessert. Can't, mom. I'm busy.

But this is important for our family.

It'll just be the three of us. Mom, anytime you say it'll just be the three of us,

it means you're dating someone new. Whoever it is,

I don't care. I'll just meet him at the wedding. Fine, fine.

Then I will just tell you who it is,

because you're gonna be seeing him around from now on.

It's Bart bass. (Eric and Serena) Bart bass?

Mom, you cannot date Bart bass.

You just said a moment ago you didn't care who it was. That was before I knew who it was.

He only has one facial expression. He scares me.

And he raised Chuck. That scares me.

Oh, Serena, as usual, you're being overly dramatic.

I'm not marrying Bart.

This is very casual,

and regardless, I'm not asking your permission.

You know when I suggested this plan,

I didn't know that it would entail a robbery. Hey, hey, hey. I left a donation.

So it was more of a rescue than a robbery.

You know, those abandoned trees in that lot

were just gonna be kindling the day after Christmas,

and this tree that we have here is gonna be loved and admired.

Oh, yeah, you have a real talent for spin, my brother. Okay.

I wish I had more talent for heavy lifting. Oh.

Oh. Yeah, well, what you're doing for Serena is really romantic.

I wonder what mom and dad

are getting each other for Christmas.

I thought that if I got them under the same roof

that things would go back to the way they were.

They haven't, have they?

I think there's a real possibility

that they might split up.

If I hadn't brought her back, though,

we could've just kept pretending

that she's just in Hudson doing her art.

You did the right thing, Jen.

Really, you did, 'cause whatever happens now,

at least, uh, we're not living in a fantasy, you know?

(Phone beeping)

(Instrumental "joy to the world" playing)

Wonderful party, Eleanor.

So you... ice-skate?

Occasionally, with my niece,

but she's much more talented than I am.

(Clears throat) Well, I haven't skated since ages,

but I used to love it when I was a girl.

You must have been very beautiful out there on the ice. (Elevator bell dings)

Oh, thank you.

Excuse me.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

(Chuckles) Excuse me.

Freddy, what on earth are you doing here? Oh, Roman invited me.

(Eleanor) What?

Freddy, what... What are you doing here?

He said that you invited him. What?

(Beeping)

Freddy.

Roman, explain this.

I can't.

And so true. How does one explain the indescribable pull

to see an old lover, to feel that jolt of electricity?

So you couldn't last two days in town without contacting him?

I can't believe you'd trust appearances and not me.

Harold, dear, I... Roman did not invite Freddy.

I think Blair did.

Blair?

(Sighs)

Freddy...

If you want to be the featured model in my spring catalog,

you'd better tell us the truth.

She might have offered to buy me a cruise...

Oh.

And renew my gym membership.

(Chuckles) Well, you might as well take that cruise,

because you'll be featured in my catalog

when hell freezes over.

Now please, get out. Thanks for the champagne.

Merry Christmas.

Looks like daddy's little girl

isn't sugar and spice and everything nice after all.

And let her be. Well, I just can't believe

that Blair would do something so cruel,

and to Roman, who's only ever been completely kind to her.

It isn't Roman Blair's lashing out at... it's you.

She was so looking forward to spending time with you alone,

and then you show up at our doorstep with your lover,

without a word of warning. How did you expect her to react?

Well, I hoped that once we were together,

it would all work out.

(Scoffs)

I suppose that was pretty naive.

Blair learned scheming from her mother

and unrealistic dreaming from her father.

She tries really hard to act all grown-up,

but don't you be fooled.

She's still a little girl who needs her daddy.

(Sighs)

(Grunts) Okay, stop, stop, stop. Ow.

Okay. What now?

(Grunts) Now you go in there,

you distract Dexter, the humorless concierge... Okay.

While I try and sneak this into an elevator. All right, um, who's gonna turn you into Hercules

so you can carry this thing by yourself? (Groans) I did... I did not say the plan was foolproof.

(Jenny) Yeah.

Hey, Ms. Van Der woods... Lily, hi.

Dan. Jenny. Tree. Hi.

Yeah, um, they don't allow Christmas trees inside,

which is why we're out here.

Which is why Dan's about to ask you for a favor.

Ah, does it involve distracting Dexter

and sneaking into the elevator? Why? Would that work?

No. Never. He has the eyes of a hawk,

and he takes his job very seriously.

So I've noticed.

But Bobby at the service entrance...

I think he could be bought.

Come.

I just sent him a text, and Dan's on his way. (Squeals)

Thank you so much. It's really no problem,

and since there are no problems, I should go.

Oh, no, no, no. Stay, please.

You don't need me. We talked about how to turn everything on.

No, I know I can do it, but I just want you to see Dan's face.

I've really gotta get going. Okay. Well, I'll tell him how much you did.

Please don't. It's your present.

Just... enjoy your night.

(Beep)

(Cell phone rings)

(Nate) Hey, this is Nate. I can't come to the ph... (Beep)

Can I come in?

Our flight leaves in a few hours.

I wanted to say good-bye.

(Sighs)

Please forgive me, Blair.

I should have told you that I was bringing Roman.

I knew that having him here would be hard for you,

but I love you so much, and I love Roman,

and I was hoping that if we were all thrown together,

that something... Perfect would happen

and that you would love him, too.

I was gonna convince you to move back to New York,

but you bought a vineyard

in France with Roman.

What's next, a commitment ceremony?

(Scoffs) Great.

There's no room in your life for me anymore.

Sweetheart, there is always room for you.

No matter where I am, no matter who I'm with.

I, uh...

This is part of your Christmas gift.

(Band of horses' "the general specific" playing)

(Blair) Your house in France.

It's very nice, daddy.

I'm sure you and Roman will totally enjoy it.

And so will you,

because this... (Gasps)

Is your room.

♫ I hardly believed it at all ♫

It's beautiful.

We're having it decorated just for you.

(Chuckles) A cat.

A cat named "cat," like in your favorite movie.

It was Roman's idea.

♫ Plants and animals ♫

So... merry Christmas, sweetheart.

We're hoping that you'll spend the whole summer with us.

♫ Was coming on ♫

♫ only for ♫

♫ you ♫

Merry Christmas.

Do you like it? Do you think it's cheesy?

(Giggles)

No.

No, no, it's... it's incredible.

How did you do this?

Well, I had help from my elves.

♫ That I know ♫

♫ and running a blender in a lightning storm ♫

♫ disguised as a blessing, I'm sure ♫

Your present is waiting for you at home,

but, um, I did bring a little pre-present for you.

♫ Up here ♫

♫ there comes a fork in the road ♫

♫ the pants have gotta go ♫

Wait. This is your story. Yeah, it's the original.

It's right out of the spiral notebook.

I'm kinda scared to read it.

What happened on October 8th, 2005?

Um...

Well, I was accidentally invited

to a birthday party where I met a girl.

She only spoke two sentences to me,

but I've never forgotten her.

Wait. Your story's about me?

♫ Gonna wash my bones ♫

♫ in the Atlantic shore ♫

♫ only for ♫

♫ you and me ♫

Are we really gonna do this?

Yeah.

The arts and crafts were impressive,

but how did you manage the real snow?

I'm well-connected. (Laughs)

This is, without question, the best Christmas ever.

Ever in the history of Christmas.

I hate to break the spell,

but, uh, we better get home before our families wake up.

(Whispers) Eleanor... Hmm?

You are a marvel.

Oh, stop it. Mmm.

(Whispering) Who knew there were men like you

wandering around central park, lost? (Laughs)

(Normal voice) Oh.

Eleanor, good morning,

and, Jack, nice to see you. Good morning.

Yes, wonderful.

The flights were all canceled because of the weather.

I wanted to tell Blair in person.

Do not worry. We... we have a room at the Pierre.

No, it's nonsense. You... you'll stay with us.

Thank you.

You'll call me later?

Oh, yes.

I'll be spending Christmas with my... family.

Bye.

What's going on?

We're back for Christmas.

Well, Roman, you are in for a treat,

because a Waldorf Christmas is like no other.

(Chuckles)

Come on, you.

Oh.

Whew. Merry Christmas, dad. You're up early.

And you're getting in awfully late. Oh, yeah, well, I left you a message.

Saying the tree shenanigans were taking all night,

but I didn't think you meant literally all night.

Oh. Yeah, uh, yeah, the tree. It was a big production.

Uh, luckily Serena's mom was there to help with the plan.

Lily was there?

I thought you mentioned she was out of the country. No. No, they're here.

They're gonna go see "the nutcracker" tomorrow. (Jenny) Do I smell chocolate chip waffles?

(Rufus) With hot caramel sauce. Your father's Christmas specialty.

Dan, pass the chocolate chips. Good morning.

Good morning. (Giggles) After breakfast and presents,

I need to go to the gallery... (Alison) Mm.

To take care of some stuff. On Christmas morning?

Well, yeah, you know, art never sleeps.

But you know what? The three of us could hang out together.

It'll be great. We'll drink hot cocoa and watch a movie,

and then when your dad comes back, we can all go for a walk.

Hear those silver bells? It's christmastime in the city.

Some families actually do make the yuletide gay,

managing to leave their troubles far away...

Mom. Oh, it's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, look. You look like a brunette Catherine Deneuve.

Quelle magnifique. (Blair) It's so gorgeous.

Merry Christmas, Dorota. It's so we can text.

(Laughs)

Do you like it? Thank you, miss Blair.

Other families have a merry little Christmas

even when their troubles aren't so far away...

So what did dad have to do at the gallery, exactly?

Uh, paperwork, I-I think.

(The weepies) ♫ Carols 'cross the water ♫

You're going back to Hudson, aren't you?

♫ All that I want ♫

Yeah.

♫ All that I want ♫

But, hey, we are gonna be okay.

Come here.

♫ Above the rooftops ♫

We know.

I'm sorry.

♫ Golden spoon ♫

♫ I wait on clip-clops ♫

Some presents might end up getting returned...

I know how you like Florida.

Yeah. Wow.

Uh, number one fan.

Ah. (Laughs)

You know, I'm... I'm sorry I didn't get anything for you,

Mr. Bass, but, uh, I didn't know you'd be coming for Christmas.

Ah, no worries, Eric. Please, call me Bart.

But some gifts are for keeps.

For you. Thank you.

Eric, Serena,

I just want you to know

that I have deep feelings for your mother.

("Deck the halls" ringtone plays) Mom, your phone.

Oh. Uh, Lily, you're not gonna want to interrupt this moment.

(Ringtone continues playing)

(Beep)

Other presents come when you least expect them.

♫ The world grows older ♫

Hey, lil. You know everything's closed on Christmas?

Diners that claim to be open 24/7...

It's false advertising.

♫ All that I want ♫

And everyone knows

the biggest present comes in the smallest box.

So, uh, Alison's leaving.

She's spending time alone with the kids.

And I seem to have walked all the way from Brooklyn

to your doorstep

without a jacket, in the snow.

So what the hell?

I miss you...

And I have been missing you for a while.

♫ All that I want ♫

Lily...

Would you do me the honor of being my wife?

(Cell phone alert beeps)

(Eleanor, Roman, Dorota) Fromage! Cheese!

Ah, perfect.

(Cell phone alert rings)

Then there are those boxes

you wish you had never opened...

(Eleanor) Oh, I like the pa...

Have a Holly jolly Christmas. (Beep)

X.o.x.o., gossip girl.