A Lesson in Sharing subtitles – 100+ languages (SRT)

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Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

- Hello.

- Hi, you get tired.

My name is Carmella.

I'm actually just calling to make sure

that my reservation for our time share

is set up.

Yeah?

Yeah, go ahead and take a minute to look it up.

Yeah, it's high.

Oh yes, so our reservation is for three weeks from today

and there's gonna, yes.

Uh-huh, that's correct.

There's gonna be four of us.

One second, search.

One second.

- Jay, what the?

- Go get back in, go go.

- You're gonna bring one of your headphones.

- You're gonna bring another one.

- You're coming and we need to talk about the time share.

We need some of the key, should we start?

- We need a plug?

- He's coming?

- One second. - No?

- One second.

Just one second.

- Yes, okay, they're coming right now.

- Mom, I'm not doing this.

I'm not doing this.

- No, I'm not doing this in.

- They're not. - They're not.

- Just one second, search.

You know, let me give you a call back.

All right?

Okay, thank you, buddy.

- Mom, what's--

- They're not--

- I'm not going on a vacation with him.

- Hell yeah, not him.

- Yes, you are.

You guys have never gotten along.

- I don't know why, but either way,

they're coming right now, we're gonna discuss it

and I need you to clean this up.

- Right now. - Go get that.

- Now, mom, we're going.

- Now, let's go.

Let's go.

(door clanging)

- It's a dream.

- See?

- Why do we have to go there?

I mean, Johnny's so freaking annoying.

- What, she's my best friend,

and we're gonna go and spend some time.

Why can't you guys ever get along?

- She's your best friend, not mine.

Like, why do I have to get along with them?

- What you have to learn how to get along

what people later in life anyway,

is you can't just act like a kid

for the rest of your life,

because you've always been only child.

- God, Johnny is an obnoxious,

bread.

- He is not that obnoxious.

- Have you seen his face?

- What does it have to do with anything?

- It's just annoying.

It's just annoying as fuck I can't.

- Look, you can do with this for just a little bit of time

while I spend time with my friend.

- Oh my god.

- You'll get over it.

You'll be able to, can't you guys pay me some money?

- Can't you do something over it?

- Don't you guys,

you have some something common, right?

Like video games?

Can't you play one of those?

- I mean, like,

he cheats it everything.

Even when we try to play something

when I try to get along with them,

he's always cheating or making the rules

or just trying to do it his way.

I just say, I can't, I can't deal with that kid.

- What, what, talking about girls?

What, what about that?

You can't, you guys do some kind of guy stuff

if you don't like,

- You don't know anything about girls.

(sighs)

- Johnny doesn't know anything about girls.

- Well, you know what, you're gonna learn how to deal with it today.

Just for a few hours, okay?

Like, stop, I don't want you here anything else

for me and stop there in a little temper tantrum.

Look, just deal with it and I'll take you

for ice cream or something after we're okay?

Yes, you can have chocolate.

- I said I, I need, need.

- Oh, that's what I thought.

- Well, you need to squash that now

because we're going on vacation

and I don't wanna deal with the drama.

I really don't.

- Okay, I need to, I need to break

and you can vacation.

So you two need to be friends.

You need to get along, clean this up,

and start acting like a girls.

- Okay, but mom, you seem to forget that he stole my,

like baseball card and stuff and he always took my video games

and never returned them.

- Listen, you're not a saint either.

I remember friends when he broke his phone, okay?

- What's the listen?

Squash it, day one in front should be given today.

(upbeat music)

- Oh, good.

I, I don't think the kids good news, like he,

he literally like smoke cigarettes and like he stinks

and really saw that stuff.

- Carmen's my best friend, okay?

I need that.

(upbeat music)

(screaming)

Turn it back in mom, don't you think?

(screaming)

- Who's cider you on mom?

I don't wanna go to this time shirt thing with name.

He's gonna bud me and bully me and stuff.

You always actually--

You both me, so listen.

I need you guys to pick this mess up and get along, okay?

- You always actually like I'm the younger sibling

and stuff and like he's like,

all the other men stuff and it's just 'cause I'm sure.

(upbeat music)

(screaming)

- Oh, I'm a lighter, I want everything picked up, everything.

Okay?

- Go on.

- Those are the here five minutes.

- Oh, look at him pulling up.

The thighs, tat, hooves and stuff.

He's such a thought, mom.

Like, just like he has a stupid grin on his face.

- He even being nice.

Okay, just being on your best behavior.

There you go.

(mumbling)

(screaming)

- Hey!

- Oh my God.

- Hey, bro, are you all beautiful?

- The reservations I did.

Everything's all set.

We're ready to go, guys.

- Oh, you guys, hey, I know each other.

- Yeah?

(ding)

- Oh, honey.

- You made?

(ding)

- She's still short, and then you already had it, huh?

- I've got a lot of mush.

- I see you're still ugly and you can't get any pussy.

Excuse my language.

- You guys got that out of your system?

- Good.

- Yeah?

- Let's go inside.

- Come on.

- Oh my God.

- Oh, no, look, she got movin' on.

(ding)

- What did I tell you about that?

- Oh, my God, listen.

Today you guys are friends.

Stop.

- Okay.

- I don't want your friends.

Go play video games or something.

- Or girls, you don't do more.

- God, you need such a cheaters.

- You know what?

I couldn't have said it better in myself.

Go, make friends.

- I think it's good.

- Oh, much like it.

I got the one that you recommended.

- Yeah.

- It's okay.

- This is a made-day change by life.

But let me tell you these kind of tales.

So we're gonna be, we're booked for three days, four nights.

- Okay.

- There's four rooms.

- Oh perfect.

- But I was thinking of the guys are getting along.

They can do the bumpets?

- Yes.

- That would be great.

- And I would give us more room to kind of spread out

and do our own things.

- And we have our meantime just can't be.

- Exactly.

- We all have our own bathroom, right?

- Yes, they would be okay.

- So the heck does that have to say,

have to share about it?

- They would have to share.

- Oh, okay.

- They're going to get it.

- They'll get it.

- Yeah, they'll always be boys since it's about to happen.

It's some other time, you know?

- Well, eventually, they'll realize

they're more like them.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They think they look right.

- Yeah, last time we wanted to trip,

I mean, I kind of enjoyed it.

You know, I kind of enjoyed the game, mom, all day.

- Bro.

- Fuck you, bro.

What for you?

When we all on this trip, I guarantee your mom's been

to be staring at my day for a whole time,

like she always does.

- Set the fuck up.

- Yeah, right.

- You remember when we went on that cruise trip

and your mom was wearing that two piece

and she was all up on my junk, by the jacuzzi.

- No, bro.

- Yeah.

- What?

- That's funny to hear mom's talking about day class tonight.

- What?

- Should the fuck up dude?

- If you, if you, if my dad fucking hears like you'll be.

- My dad would fuck up your dad,

your dad's like this short, just like you.

- You know what?

- That's so, that's good.

- This is ridiculous.

- It's so, so, so, so, so.

- Yeah, well, you're dad's not even

president in your life anymore.

- Oh, asshole.

- Fuck you till you're broke.

- What?

- I'm fucking kidding.

- You do, so I'll tuck you shit in on my dad and my mom, bro.

Oh my god, I could just grab you by the neck right now.

- Fuck you.

- I'm not taking any more of this.

(upbeat music)

- What the fuck would you look like who's dead?

Fuck you think it's going on?

- No, no, no.

- Yeah, well, you guys are always big enough

and you're gonna love, you have to be mad at your friends.

- But, why would you guys, you're trying to go on

vacation and you can't manage to get along for three fucking seconds?

- You can't make anything to be caught in the yard

and you're like, "Big danger, you know what?"

- Get out right now.

- Let's go.

- Move it.

- Raise your butt to the front of the shits.

- What's with the bears?

- For the last time, go.

Move your asses.

- Night dealing with this shit anymore.

- Oh, it's good.

- Oh, quick.

- That's star.

- Come on, here's go.

- Go to the ceiling.

- Who's that with you?

- I'm so, you're not fine.

- You're good.

- What the fuck?

- Oh, not give you.

- You want to tell me how you need to touch.

- No.

- What am I gonna do with you?

- What?

- Oh, who is it?

- Who's stick on?

- Oh, I'm stick of this.

- I'm so tired of this.

- You guys are gonna get along.

- How dare you speak to me?

- Whether you like it or not,

why would you just let that matter to a friend?

- Oh, no, she's my friend.

- She's my friend.

- No, no.

- I had enough of it.

- Well, what am I gonna do with them?

- I'm not canceling the trip.

- Where did I kiss my mission?

- You guys don't want them.

- Why did I bother you?

- You're gonna be a walk.

- You're so used to being just only hell.

- You're so used to being just a little bit.

- You know, we gotta think about this.

We gotta figure out what comes to mind.

- We gotta figure out what I should make.

- Whether you like it or not, you're gonna go through with this funny shit.

- Are you sure?

- You're too good to be.

- Just don't take away my video, it means you're anything.

- Oh, yeah, can you do it?

- I'm so sorry, I have the way he's practicing.

- He's okay.

- I'm so sorry.

- He's okay.

- He's just so used to being one.

- I'm just brainless.

- You have no brother.

- Oh, let's see that one.

- He's just used to being a little bit.

- So you can't have anything.

- Oh, you're so used to being one.

- Oh, yeah.

- You don't know how to like share or get a woman.

- Others.

- You don't know how to share.

- You gotta show some people's a child.

- Oh, what are we gonna do?

- All of that gets in the shirt because that's just something.

- Well, what?

- No, I'm not just eating.

- They're gonna have to live with it.

- Yeah.

- But we need to push it.

- What if they were talking on that shit?

- Why don't we be doing that shit?

- Call 'em out on it.

- Yeah.

- Put them in the bathroom.

- I know how to learn a shit about this.

- And then the plane goes even everything everyone's.

- So if I give you permission, if you want to do my stuff,

and then I'll go for yours.

- Oh yeah.

- That's okay.

- Deal.

- Mm-hmm.

- Boys.

- We finally came up with your punishment.

- Yeah.

- I think you're gonna like it this time.

- What is it?

- It's a lesson in sharing.

- Yeah.

- We worked out a punishment here.

- Can we make some room?

- Oh, I remember saying, "Solution."

- Mm-hmm.

- Since you guys are having such a hard time sharing.

- What better way than to, um,

have you guys share us?

- What?

- What the fuck?

- You guys were talking shit?

- No.

- You were saying, "You and I suck your dick,

and she suck yours."

- Now you guys are gonna have to actually put your money

where your mouth is.

- Mom, what are you doing to things like that?

- What the fuck do?

- This way everyone hasn't even playing field

and we've been on vacation and enjoyed it.

- And you guys are gonna shake on it.

- Yeah.

- And then, "Cree."

- No way, I'm not sure.

- Dude, this punishment is--

- No.

- You're gonna learn to share.

- Johnny, watch.

- Shake his hand.

- Mom, are you--

- Get your tongue.

- Give me a hand.

- Are you sure you're gonna shake on this?

- Shake.

- What can hit you dude?

Look, you finally get to lose your virginity,

maybe.

- It's not you.

- Mom, are you fucking lying, right?

- You're kidding?

- Oh, where not?

- My mind.

- We're not kidding you.

- Yeah.

- Why don't you touch him?

- I'm like--

- Oh, don't be shy.

- Oh, man.

- It's not your God.

- Yeah.

- You're buying a retouch to him and we'll stop you.

- Yeah, plenty.

- He's never--

- He'll have to pretend that I'm a bro.

- Whatever.

- My God, they do you all.

- You know, right?

If you're just so stressed out,

we have to just delete all that stress.

Get out of you, isn't that right?

I'm like, you're all that stress on you.

- Yeah, you do.

- You guys just don't learn how to share each other.

- Yeah, you're wrong.

- Why don't you kiss these?

- You know what?

- I'll let them take out their dicks.

- Ooh, that's good to you.

- Take out your dicks.

- You're kidding.

- Oh, I'm sure that's your dicks.

- You're good.

- What?

- You'll be able to talk to you.

- Yeah, you guys keep--

- Take it out.

- You're good.

- Come on.

- Take it out.

- Say it out.

- You better not.

- We're no--

- Come on.

- Oh, look at that.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, you look just like it's father.

- Oh, shit.

- Yeah, we don't take out for this dad.

- Oh, no.

- He's just like a dad.

- Oh, no.

- He's just like a dad.

- Oh, no.

- He's just like a dad.

- He's like a dad.

- Yeah, that's a treat.

- Yeah.

- He's like a dad.

- Yeah.

- He's like a dad.

- Okay.

- This is what you've been thinking about every time you come over.

- Yeah.

- You know.

- You're going to share today.

[sighing]

Oh my god.

That thing.

- They're not being looking over here.

We're going to busy with your mom, didn't you?

- Oh, my god.

[sighing]

- Be nice.

- Okay.

[sighing]

- Oh, that's good.

- Yeah.

- You can try it hard.

- Can I do it?

- No, no, no.

[sighing]

- Oh, my god.

- Can I suck in it?

- Of course.

- Oh, my god.

- Oh, the course.

[sighing]

- You're too pissed.

[sighing]

- Oh, yeah.

[sighing]

- Oh, my god.

- Dude, your mom's like some mean take, bro.

[sighing]

- Oh, my god.

(gurgling)

(growling)

(panting)

(uke grunting)

(growling)

I feel so good.

(growling)

(speaks in foreign language)

- Ooh, what's going on here?

- Oh, this is today.

(speaks in foreign language)

- I think it's time.

(speaks in foreign language)

- You keep sleeping.

(speaks in foreign language)

, (speaks in foreign language)

(speaks in foreign language)

Oh come on check out your hat for a couple of things, teacher.

Oh come on get it. Take this dress on. Take this off.

Oh, you like that? Yeah, you like that. Yeah, you like that. Yeah, yeah.

five inches?

five!

four more.

yeah, even now.

yeah, just a little longer.

just a little more.

yeah.

yeah!

it's built.

um.

this is what I'm making here.

yeah.

oh.

like a nutty.

right on the cover.

yeah.

oh, the shit.

oh.

oh, come down.

let's go.

yeah, okay.

yeah, fuck that.

you guys.

hey, there's show me your fucking mail.

oh, yeah.

yeah.

there's a fucking shit.

yeah.

oh, shit.

oh, fuck.

oh, shit.

- Oh, my... I'm so sorry.

- Oh, there's a little bit of soap in here.

Oh, I can't get enough soap left.

- Oh, I can't get enough soap left.

- I can't get enough soap left.

Oh yeah!

We just like you.

- Just like you.

- Do you see it's so fucking hard?

- Oh, my god!

- Oh, I'm ripped that because you know?

Oh, my god.

- Oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

Oh, my gosh.

- Oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

(music)

I want to go to the fucking fucking (mumbles)

- [INAUDIBLE]

- We're just sharing the way it's like, so good.

- Zeer! - Oh no!

- Get me that dick.

- Oh no! - Oh no!

- Oh no! - No!

- Yes! - Yes!

- Yes! - Oh no! - Oh no!

- You're trying to fucking with him! - No!

- You're so funny! - No!

- Yes! - Yes! - Yes!

- Yes! - Don't you fucking throw that in your head!

- Yes! - Oh no! - Oh no!

- You're like your mother, you're also a woman! - Oh no!

- You're a woman, you're a little bit more emotional.

- You're a lady! - Yeah!

- You're a woman, you're a woman! - Oh no!

- Oh no! - Oh no!

(screaming)

- Oh no! - Oh no!

(screaming)

- Oh no! - Oh no!

Oh my shit!

- Oh no! - Oh no!

- Here! - Here!

- Because the fuck up! - Here!

- Here! - What are you doing?

No you don't look!

Yeah, you don't have the clutch!

(Sigh)

You're so nice!

Ow!

Holy shit!

Oomm!

Why?

You need to be careful.

Here you go!

Guys, just divide it with your center!

How tasty are you?

So, I thought we had two style God, first time.

Oh no, this is so far!

Yes!

Hey, oh!

What?!

Yeah!

Oh, you have to go!

(singing in foreign language)

- We're in that pussy, we're not done with you.

(singing in foreign language)

Oh my God.

(singing in foreign language)

Come on, come on!

This is my favorite song as a result of my life.

That was my favorite song as well.

(people cheering)

(audience laughing)

- Oh! Yes!

- Yes!

(audience laughing)

Oh!

It's fresh! Yes!

(audience laughing)

Oh, it's sh*t!

(audience laughing)

Oh, fuck!

Yes!

- Yeah, kiss me on the floor.

(audience laughing)

- You should have come here.

- Yeah, wow!

- Oh, I don't think so.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Oh, fuck you.

Oh, no, no, no.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. (audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- The rest of our hands.

(audience laughing)

- It's just a proof I read.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

Oh, my God!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

(audience laughing)

- Oh, yeah!

Look at you, kid! It's a boy, kid!!

Yeah!

Aw, Oh boy!

Oh boy, shit!

You're not getting it wrong, it was a boy, it was a boy, it was a boy, it was a boy, it was a boy, it was a boy.

Oh yeah!

Oh boy, oh yeah, oh yeah!

Oh!

Please.

Oh, you're not gonna be like, three,

do you know what I'm doing at here?

No?...

Ah, oh, hey there you are the only one?

I'm not gonna get it from here...

Go home, go!

Oh no!

You're alive!

You like how that tastes?

I love this!

Did you really when the fuck do you want to come up with?

yeah!

oh, okay.

It's not bad, it's not bad.

oh!

Oh, oh my god...

Oh fuck.

it's me.

It's me.

Oh, how do you...

oh my god.

Oh, fuck you.

oh, do.

oh, oh my god.

I'm so happy.

It's not easy.

You want to her mother?

I learned that Pokemon-

Oh my god.

Holy sh*t-

You're so cute!

Holy god.

Have a show of Hancock.

You cute!

This is...

You...

You're so cute!

Oh, so cute!

I feel like I'm in her pussy.

No, no!

I can't tell!

I'm like, is that the thing?

Yes!

I can't tell!

Oh my god!

You're so cute!

Oh my god!

Yeah, oh my god!

[speaking in foreign language]

>> Come on, come on.

[MUSIC]

>> You know what, you even walk, drop a bit.

>> I'm gonna walk.

[MUSIC]

[INAUDIBLE]

[MUSIC]

[INAUDIBLE]

>> Oh my God, some coming around, sorry.

[INAUDIBLE]

>> So, I'm a good boy.

>> Everyone.

>> Are we gonna stop being a text to each other?

>> I mean, I choose--

>> Are you guys friends now?

>> I guess it's a choice.

>> That's a point.

>> Good, I'll just stop stealing my video games.

>> Just don't break my phone again.

>> Look.

>> Sharing is caring.

I think we've found that today.

>> And we're gonna have fun on this family vacation.

>> Yeah, maybe we can even share rooms.

>> Yay!

[CHEERING]

>> All right, let's go to the dress step in shop.

>> Yeah, yeah!

>> Yeah, I was telling you that we've been taking time.

>> Everyone, you need to show her up.

[MUSIC]