All language subtitles for N.Y.P.D.Mounted 1991 480p

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German Download
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,566 --> 00:00:44,066 Bailiff: ALL RISE. 2 00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:46,066 STATE OF MONTANA'S DIVORCE COURT 3 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,566 IS NOW IN SESSION. 4 00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:49,933 WELLINGTON VS. WELLINGTON. 5 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,166 JUDGE BLACKBURN PRESIDING. 6 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:02,066 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, MISS? 7 00:01:02,133 --> 00:01:03,400 CAN WE GET YOU SOMETHING? 8 00:01:03,466 --> 00:01:05,733 NO, THANK YOU. 9 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,566 I'LL BE FINE. 10 00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:17,400 OH. YOU KNOW I WANTED THIS TO WORK, 11 00:01:17,466 --> 00:01:18,900 DON'T YOU, MAMA? 12 00:01:18,966 --> 00:01:20,900 I KNOW, DEAR. OF COURSE. 13 00:01:20,966 --> 00:01:22,933 I REALLY, REALLY DID. 14 00:01:24,766 --> 00:01:26,766 SHE LOOKS PRETTY UPSET, LUCKY. 15 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,233 YEAH, THE LAST TIME DONNA CRIED LIKE THAT 16 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,233 - WAS WHEN HENRY DIED. - HENRY? 17 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,566 OUR PUPPY. SHE HAD HIM PUT TO SLEEP FOR PEEING ON THE CARPET. 18 00:01:35,633 --> 00:01:38,366 MY WIFE WANTED TO DO THAT TO ONE OF OUR KIDS. 19 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:39,866 I LIKE YOUR WIFE. 20 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,233 GOOD. I'M PUTTING HER UP ON WAIVERS. 21 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:45,233 THIS COURT DECREES THAT THE PROPERTY RESULTING 22 00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:46,566 FROM THE DISSOLUTION OF THE MARRIAGE 23 00:01:46,633 --> 00:01:48,566 BETWEEN DONNA LEE WELLINGTON 24 00:01:48,633 --> 00:01:50,733 AND OFFICER LONNIE "LUCKY" WELLINGTON, 25 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,733 WILL BE AWARDED AS FOLLOWS-- 26 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,733 HOLD ON, COWBOY. WE'RE RIDING THIS ONE WITHOUT A SADDLE. 27 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,166 THAT'S REASSURING, HUNT. THANKS. 28 00:01:58,233 --> 00:02:00,500 1987 CORVETTE CONVERTIBLE... 29 00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:03,166 DONNA WELLINGTON. 30 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,833 MATCHING PAIR OF 100cc HONDA MOTOR SCOOTERS-- 31 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,066 DONNA WELLINGTON. 32 00:02:10,666 --> 00:02:13,100 ONE CHRIS-CRAFT WATER-SKI BOAT, 33 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,533 ONE MACKINTOSH STEREO AMPLIFIER, 34 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:18,000 TURNTABLE AND TUNER AND ALL ALBUMS AND CDs-- 35 00:02:18,066 --> 00:02:20,333 DONNA WELLINGTON. 36 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,833 THE RESIDENCE COHABITED DURING THE MARRIAGE, 37 00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:25,000 LOCATED AT 209 HAMILTON DRIVE, 38 00:02:25,066 --> 00:02:29,133 INCLUDING ALL RUGS, APPLIANCES, LAMPS, AND FIXTURES... 39 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,633 DONNA WELLINGTON. 40 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,733 AHunt: I'M AFRAID WE GOT KILLED. 41 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:35,733 WE? 42 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,066 OK, YOU. 43 00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:40,400 HEY, LUCKY, EVER THINK OF CHANGING YOUR NAME? 44 00:02:40,466 --> 00:02:43,400 - NOT LATELY. - MAYBE YOU SHOULD. 45 00:02:43,466 --> 00:02:45,800 IT'S THE DISCRETION OF THIS COURT 46 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,366 AND MY EXPERIENCE IN THESE MATTERS 47 00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:50,800 THAT THE ANTIQUE INLAID SILVER SADDLE 48 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:54,800 ALLEGEDLY OWNED BY THE FAMOUS COWBOY KIT CARSON, 49 00:02:54,866 --> 00:02:56,933 VALUED AT $5,000, 50 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,866 AND THE PRIZE-WINNING CUTTING HORSE KNOWN AS BLAZE, 51 00:02:59,933 --> 00:03:02,133 VALUED AT $100,000, 52 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,566 SHALL REMAIN SOLELY OWNED BY MR. LONNIE WELLINGTON. 53 00:03:05,633 --> 00:03:07,333 THIS COURT IS ADJOURNED. 54 00:03:08,733 --> 00:03:10,800 WHAT THE HELL, HE GETS THE HORSE? 55 00:03:10,866 --> 00:03:14,300 MRS. WELLINGTON, YOU ARE IN A COURT OF LAW. 56 00:03:14,366 --> 00:03:16,266 RELAX. WE'LL APPEAL. 57 00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:18,300 IT'S THE ONLY THING WORTH MONEY-- 58 00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,100 AND THAT STUPID SADDLE. 59 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,800 WE KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT SADDLE. 60 00:03:21,866 --> 00:03:23,833 WE APOLOGIZE TO THE COURT. 61 00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:27,233 MY DECISION STANDS, MRS. WELLINGTON. 62 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:31,033 PLEASE... CALL ME DONNA. 63 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,733 HUNT, WE BEEN FRIENDS 64 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,233 SINCE YOU PROSECUTED MY FIRST ARREST, 65 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:43,233 BUT YOU ARE THE WORST DIVORCE ATTORNEY 66 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,700 I HAVE EVER READ ABOUT, HEARD ABOUT OR EVEN SEEN. 67 00:03:45,766 --> 00:03:47,733 I'M NOT A DIVORCE ATTORNEY, I'M ASSISTANT D.A. 68 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,733 YOU WERE SHOPPING FOR A DEAL. I GAVE YOU A DEAL. 69 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,366 I SHOULD'VE GIVEN MY WIFE A MASK AND GUN. 70 00:03:51,433 --> 00:03:52,833 EX-WIFE. AYOU'RE OVERREACTING. 71 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,700 I WAS RUN OVER BY THE WHEELS OF JUSTICE. 72 00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:56,300 - DON'T TELL ME AI'M OVERREACTING. - YOU'RE OVERREACTING. 73 00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,866 - I AM NOT! - YES, YOU ARE! 74 00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,233 THIS IS NOT OVERREACTING, HUNT. 75 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,433 THIS IS OVERREACTING. 76 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,800 NO... THAT'S CRAZY. 77 00:04:04,866 --> 00:04:06,800 NO, HUNT. THIS IS CRAZY. 78 00:04:06,866 --> 00:04:08,033 AAH! 79 00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:10,900 IT'S ALL RIGHT, FOLKS. 80 00:04:10,966 --> 00:04:13,733 HE'S PART INDIAN. IT'S A CHEROKEE DIVORCE DANCE. 81 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:14,733 VERY TRADITIONAL. 82 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,533 WILL YOU TAKE IT EASY? 83 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,033 DON'T TELL ME TO TAKE IT EASY! 84 00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:20,100 I JUST GAVE A WOMAN I HATE A HOUSE! 85 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,700 - YOU DON'T THINK AI'M DOING THE RIGHT THING? - NOPE. 86 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,833 - WHAT WOULD YOU DO? - I WOULDN'T LEAVE TOWN. 87 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,733 SHE EVEN GOT MY ALBUM COLLECTION. 88 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,733 SOME COLLECTION-- A BOOTLEG COPY 89 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,633 OF WAYLON JENNINGS LIVE AT THE PALOMINO 90 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:35,333 AND AN 8-TRACK TAPE OF GENE AUTRY 91 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,800 APOLOGIZING TO THE ANGELS FANS 92 00:04:36,866 --> 00:04:38,633 FOR NOT WINNING THE WORLD SERIES? 93 00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:42,266 LOOK AT THE UPSIDE. YOU GOT TO KEEP BLAZE. 94 00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:44,266 WHAT GOOD'S A $100,000 HORSE I CAN'T SELL? 95 00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:46,233 IT'D BE LIKE SELLING MY KID. 96 00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:49,733 CUT THE MELODRAMA. YOU DON'T HAVE A KID. 97 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,733 I'M LUCKY SHE DIDN'T GET KIT CARSON'S SADDLE. 98 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,733 I DON'T THINK THIS IS KIT CARSON'S SADDLE. 99 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,166 THE HELL IT'S NOT. I PAID FIVE GRAND FOR IT. 100 00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,900 NO, YOU GOT TOOK. THERE'S THIS GUY 101 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,400 WHO SELLS THEM IN FLEA MARKETS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. 102 00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:03,000 I THINK THEY MAKE THEM IN KOREA. 103 00:05:03,066 --> 00:05:04,533 THEY USE THE LEATHER THEY CAN'T MAKE INTO BASEBALL GLOVES. 104 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,533 STOP TRYING TO CHEER ME UP. 105 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:10,033 I PUT IN SEVEN YEARS ON THE POLICE FORCE. 106 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:13,100 I HAD A GOOD LIFE, RODE IN SOME RODEOS. 107 00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:15,833 THERE'S NO RODEOS IN NEW YORK CITY. 108 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:19,233 I HAVEN'T BEEN ON LONG ENOUGH TO WIN, ANYWAY. 109 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:21,433 THE LAST MONEY I WON I SPENT ON THAT SADDLE. 110 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:24,133 GOOD INVESTMENT. NO DOUBT. 111 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,633 I'LL TAKE UP BOWLING LIKE MOST COPS. 112 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,133 YEAH, MAYBE GO PRO, 113 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,133 THEN YOU CAN BUY ARCHIE BUNKER'S BALL. 114 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,133 YOU'RE A COWBOY, AND COWBOYS LIKE SMOKEY POOLROOMS 115 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,633 AND CLEAR MOUNTAIN MORNINGS. 116 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,133 THEY HATE BOWLING. 117 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,066 IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON, HUNT, OKAY? 118 00:05:39,133 --> 00:05:41,266 THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG ENOUGH? 119 00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:43,400 DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE A GARY COOPER MOVIE. 120 00:05:43,466 --> 00:05:45,533 GIVE ME ONE REASON YOU'RE LEAVING. 121 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,966 I'LL BE TRANSFERRING INTO THE NEW YORK POLICE DEPARTMENT 122 00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:50,366 MAKING 32,5 A YEAR. THAT'S A TON OF MONEY. 123 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,266 I'LL LIVE LIKE A KING. 124 00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,133 YOU'LL GET KILLED IN NEW YORK. 125 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,133 IN A MACY'S DAY PARADE? I'M MOUNTED DIVISION. 126 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,633 THOSE GUYS RIDE AROUND CARRYING FLAGS, 127 00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:01,600 WAVING AT THE MAYOR. 128 00:06:01,666 --> 00:06:04,833 WHY IS THE MAYOR RIDING AROUND IN A BULLETPROOF FLOAT? 129 00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:07,666 MAYBE THEY LIKE HIM. 130 00:06:08,666 --> 00:06:09,866 ( Blaze neighs ) 131 00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,000 ( car alarm chirps ) 132 00:06:25,133 --> 00:06:27,566 LUCKY, OF ALL THE CARS YOU'VE HAD, 133 00:06:27,633 --> 00:06:30,566 I THINK THAT ONE WAS MY FAVORITE. 134 00:06:30,633 --> 00:06:33,133 THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT, HUNT. 135 00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:35,666 ( engine starts ) 136 00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:39,000 DONNA, MAY I SPEAK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? 137 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,066 WHAT? 138 00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:44,566 I KNOW THIS WAS HARD FOR BOTH OF US, 139 00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:48,900 AND... I DO WANT YOU TO KNOW I WANTED IT TO WORK OUT. 140 00:06:49,933 --> 00:06:50,933 IT DID. 141 00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,700 PUPPY KILLER! 142 00:06:55,766 --> 00:06:57,700 ( horn honks ) 143 00:06:57,766 --> 00:06:58,933 ( barks ) 144 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,000 YOU WANT TO MAKE ROAD PIZZA HERE? 145 00:07:01,066 --> 00:07:03,200 PUT HIM ON A LEASH! 146 00:07:03,266 --> 00:07:04,766 WHOA! 147 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:06,333 ( honks ) 148 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:13,666 ADispatcher: Spampatta-- Spampatta, where are you? 149 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,466 GIVE ME THE ADDRESS! YOU GOT THE ADDRESS YET? 150 00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:20,100 2227 West 47th. E.D.P. Please respond. 151 00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:21,900 WHAT KIND OF E.D.P.? 152 00:07:21,966 --> 00:07:24,266 I'M NOT GONNA WALK INTO SOME PSYCHO WITH A CHAIN SAW, AM I? 153 00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:25,866 I DON'T DO CHAIN SAWS, 154 00:07:25,933 --> 00:07:27,933 NOT SINCE PARKER LOST HIS EAR. 155 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,700 That's an E.D.P, Spampatta, not a psycho. 156 00:07:30,766 --> 00:07:32,600 Emotionally Disturbed Person is what we call them. 157 00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:35,700 YOU CAN CALL THEM GROOVY TUESDAYS. 158 00:07:35,766 --> 00:07:37,333 IF SOMEBODY'S SWINGING A CHAIN SAW, 159 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,700 I'M STAYING IN THE CAR. 160 00:07:38,766 --> 00:07:40,166 E.D.P. is a jumper. 161 00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:42,133 Black female, answers to Diana Ross. 162 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,100 - ANSWERS TO WHO? - Subject is-- 163 00:07:45,166 --> 00:07:47,600 - ANSWERS TO WHAT? - Diana Ross. 164 00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,100 OF THE SUPREMES? 165 00:07:49,166 --> 00:07:52,433 No, of the lunatics. She thinks she's Diana Ross. 166 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,600 READ MY FILE. I'M A TONY BENNETT FAN. 167 00:07:54,666 --> 00:07:57,633 The subject is on the seventh floor fire escape. 168 00:07:57,700 --> 00:07:59,300 I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS. 169 00:07:59,366 --> 00:08:01,166 She's yours, Spampatta. 170 00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:03,166 HEY, LISTEN! OH, MAN. 171 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:06,166 I GOT TO TRANSFER OUT OF THIS DIVISION. 172 00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:08,500 DIANA ROSS? 173 00:08:08,566 --> 00:08:11,933 ♪ STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE ♪ 174 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,333 ♪ BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART ♪ 175 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,366 ♪ STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE ♪ 176 00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:21,700 ♪ BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART ♪ 177 00:08:21,766 --> 00:08:24,866 ♪ THINK IT OVER ♪ 178 00:08:24,933 --> 00:08:28,666 ♪ THINK IT OVER... ♪ 179 00:08:28,733 --> 00:08:30,166 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. 180 00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:31,666 IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 181 00:08:31,733 --> 00:08:34,733 WE'RE ALL NEW YORKERS. WE'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE. 182 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:36,700 YOU GOING TO GET HER? 183 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,700 NOT UNLESS I HAVE TO. ANYBODY KNOW THIS LADY? 184 00:08:39,766 --> 00:08:41,933 Woman: SHE'S A BUN GIRL AT NATHAN'S-- 185 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,966 - CONEY ISLAND AOR TIMES SQUARE? - TIMES SQUARE. 186 00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:45,900 I THINK I KNOW HER. 187 00:08:45,966 --> 00:08:48,766 SHE CHANGED JOBS. SHE'S A SUPREME. 188 00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:50,566 DIANA ROSS LEFT THE SUPREMES. 189 00:08:50,633 --> 00:08:53,000 GUESS WHAT? THAT AIN'T DIANA ROSS. 190 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,700 SHE'S GOT GREAT LEGS. 191 00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:56,866 HER BRAIN AIN'T TOO HOT. 192 00:08:56,933 --> 00:08:58,533 YOU GOING TO GET HER? 193 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,133 WHO DO I LOOK LIKE, BERRY GORDY? 194 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,400 - IT'S YOUR JOB. - WHO ARE YOU, MY BOSS? 195 00:09:02,466 --> 00:09:03,700 I'M A TAXPAYER. 196 00:09:03,766 --> 00:09:05,700 YOU GO UP THERE, YOU GET HER DOWN, 197 00:09:05,766 --> 00:09:07,700 NEXT YEAR YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ANY TAXES. 198 00:09:07,766 --> 00:09:09,533 WE GOT A COWARD COP! 199 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,200 HE'S GOING TO LET THE GIRL JUMP! 200 00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:14,800 SHE'S NOT GONNA JUMP! SHE'S DIANA ROSS, FOR GOD'S SAKE! 201 00:09:14,866 --> 00:09:17,266 YOU'D GO UP THERE IF IT WAS A DUNKIN' DONUT. 202 00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:19,033 GIVE ME A BREAK. 203 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,900 I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS. 204 00:09:20,966 --> 00:09:23,800 BROOKLYN HEIGHTS-- I FELL OFF A GARAGE WHEN I WAS A KID. 205 00:09:23,866 --> 00:09:27,300 ♪ I'VE EVEN SEEN HER MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE ♪ 206 00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:30,966 - ♪ BUT DOES AHER SWEET EXPRESSION... ♪ - ( crowd singing ) 207 00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:32,966 TAKE IT EASY, DIANA. 208 00:09:33,033 --> 00:09:35,300 YOU GOT A LOT OF FANS DOWN HERE. 209 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:38,633 ♪ THIS TIME BEFORE YOU RUN TO HER... ♪ 210 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:39,800 SOMEBODY CALL THE MAYOR! 211 00:09:39,866 --> 00:09:41,800 THE MAYOR, RIGHT. 212 00:09:41,866 --> 00:09:44,133 MAYBE HE'LL GO UP AFTER THIS FRUITCAKE. 213 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,433 ♪ STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE ♪ 214 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:51,033 ♪ BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART ♪ 215 00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:55,266 ♪ STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE ♪ 216 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,166 ♪ BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART ♪ 217 00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:00,633 ♪ THINK IT OVER ♪ 218 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:04,200 ♪ THINK IT OVER ♪ 219 00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:08,266 ♪ STOP! IN THE NAME OF LOVE ♪ 220 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:11,266 ♪ BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART ♪ 221 00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:13,766 ♪ THINK IT OVER ♪ 222 00:10:13,833 --> 00:10:15,766 THAT'S SOME ACT, MISS ROSS. 223 00:10:15,833 --> 00:10:17,766 EVER THINK ABOUT TAKING IT TO AN ASYLUM? 224 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,266 DO YOU HAVE A BACKSTAGE PASS? 225 00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:20,700 NO, I'M A FAN. 226 00:10:20,766 --> 00:10:23,900 HOW HIGH UP DO YOU THINK WE ARE? 227 00:10:23,966 --> 00:10:25,400 WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE?! 228 00:10:25,466 --> 00:10:27,700 DIANA, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 229 00:10:27,766 --> 00:10:31,300 I HAVEN'T HAD A HIT SONG IN FIVE YEARS. 230 00:10:31,366 --> 00:10:35,366 YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW MICHAEL JACKSON PERSONALLY. 231 00:10:35,433 --> 00:10:38,033 ANY IDEA WHAT THE HEIGHT IS? 232 00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:42,466 I'M 6'1". HOW CAN I DO PAULA ABDUL? 233 00:10:42,533 --> 00:10:43,933 THAT'S WHO THEY WANT NOW. 234 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,400 SHE CAN'T EVEN SING. 235 00:10:45,466 --> 00:10:47,433 SHE'S A LAKER GIRL, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 236 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:49,500 TAKE IT EASY, DIANA. 237 00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,900 YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE THAT JOB AT NATHAN'S. 238 00:10:51,966 --> 00:10:53,400 THEY'D MISS YOU. 239 00:10:53,466 --> 00:10:57,133 ONE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS IS NUTS ABOUT YOUR LEGS. 240 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,133 OH, REALLY? 241 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,133 WHICH ONE? 242 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,333 YOO-HOO! 243 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,533 ( applause, boos ) 244 00:11:04,266 --> 00:11:07,766 IF YOU SHAVED THEM, IT MIGHT MAKE A BETTER IMPRESSION. 245 00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:12,600 ♪ AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH... ♪ 246 00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:15,833 WHAT'S THIS, A NOVENA? IT'LL MAKE A MESS. 247 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,200 ♪ AIN'T NO RIVER WIDE ENOUGH ♪ 248 00:11:18,966 --> 00:11:20,766 ♪ TO KEEP ME FROM YOU ♪ 249 00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:22,366 SPAMPATTA... 250 00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:24,433 OH, MY GOD! 251 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,000 HEY, CUT IT-- 252 00:11:26,066 --> 00:11:28,633 OH, NO! OH, MY GOD! 253 00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:31,200 WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT? 254 00:11:31,266 --> 00:11:33,433 COME ON! LOOK OUT! 255 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,600 WOULD YOU STOP IT ALREADY? 256 00:11:35,666 --> 00:11:36,700 OH, GOD! 257 00:11:36,766 --> 00:11:38,533 HOLY COW! 258 00:11:52,266 --> 00:11:53,700 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 259 00:11:53,766 --> 00:11:57,100 MISS ROSS HAS LEFT THE AUDITORIUM. 260 00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:58,833 YOU PEOPLE ARE GREAT. 261 00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,866 GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY! 262 00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:04,866 THIS IS OFFICER SPAMPATTA HERE. 263 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:07,566 THIS IS AN OFFICIAL REQUEST FOR A TRANSFER. 264 00:12:07,633 --> 00:12:10,333 I WANT THE HELL OUT OF THIS DIVISION! 265 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,333 This is Sick Nick. 266 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,600 I'll be talking through this smog. 267 00:12:20,666 --> 00:12:22,433 Everybody breathe through a comb, ok? 268 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,433 The phone lines are open. 269 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:28,466 It's time for Naked Phone Call! 270 00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:30,833 Welcome to Naked Phone Call. You're on the air. 271 00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:34,233 This is Ill Will from White Plains. 272 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:38,466 - Hello, Will. You naked? - As naked as my wife on our honeymoon. 273 00:12:38,533 --> 00:12:40,766 - What's your wife's name? - Hank. 274 00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:43,766 - Where did you meet? - In prison. 275 00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:45,333 You are ill, aren't you, Will? 276 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,700 ♪ I'm not one for livin' in my head ♪ 277 00:12:49,766 --> 00:12:51,133 ♪ Things I should be doing ♪ 278 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,100 ♪ All the things should have said ♪ 279 00:12:53,166 --> 00:12:54,466 ♪ AND I DON'T WORRY ♪ 280 00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:56,566 ♪ 'CAUSE YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND ♪ 281 00:12:56,633 --> 00:13:00,400 ♪ I'M DOIN' THE BEST I CAN. ♪ 282 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000 ( whistling ) 283 00:13:07,433 --> 00:13:08,866 OH, HAPPY HALLOWEEN. 284 00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:12,266 YOU THINK I'M GOING TO RIDE A HORSE IN A TUXEDO? 285 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,466 WHY NOT? YOU LEARNED HOW TO BE A HORSE'S ASS IN ONE AT OUR WEDDING. 286 00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:19,633 BLAME UNCLE GUIDO AND HIS HOMEMADE AMARETTO. 287 00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,400 THAT WAS 20 WONDERFUL YEARS AGO. 288 00:13:21,466 --> 00:13:23,733 - YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED ATO EAT THAT. - THAT'S HOT. 289 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,633 - SEE? GOD PUNISHED YOU. - TRY HE'S BLESSING ME. 290 00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:29,166 MUST BE ALL THOSE NOVENAS YOU DRAG ME TO. 291 00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:33,366 THIS TRANSFER WILL BE LIKE A PAID VACATION. 292 00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:36,966 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU WON'T DO REGULAR POLICE WORK IN THE MOUNTED? 293 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,966 WHEN HAVE YOU HEARD OF A HORSE COP 294 00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:42,700 KILLED OR WOUNDED IN THE LINE OF DUTY? 295 00:13:42,766 --> 00:13:44,833 NEVER, THAT'S WHEN. 296 00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,433 OH, ALL THAT'S GOING TO CHANGE NOW. 297 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,733 OH, ALL THAT'S GOING TO CHANGE NOW. 298 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,933 YOU DRAW TROUBLE LIKE MY SISTER DRAWS LOSERS. 299 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,000 YOUR SISTER'S A LOSER. 300 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,500 YEAH, WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE MARRIED HER. 301 00:13:54,566 --> 00:13:56,033 YOU'D HAVE MADE A LOVELY COUPLE. 302 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:59,533 THIS WILL BE THE BEST YET. 303 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,866 THIS WILL BE LIKE WHEN YOU JOINED THE SERVICE. 304 00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:04,366 "I GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT. I JOIN THE 3-YEAR PLAN, 305 00:14:04,433 --> 00:14:06,366 I GET A PASS ON 'NAM." 306 00:14:06,433 --> 00:14:09,633 NEXT, YOU'RE GETTING SHOT AT IN RICE PADDIES. 307 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:10,700 HERE COMES THE BLITZ. 308 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,766 THEN YOU JOIN THE POLICE FORCE. 309 00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:15,266 "I'VE GOT IT FIXED FOR RECORDS. 310 00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:17,100 NOBODY GETS SHOT IN RECORDS." 311 00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:18,566 YOU END UP IN THE MANHATTAN 1st. 312 00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:20,366 YOU GET SHOT AT MORE THAN THE WAR. 313 00:14:20,433 --> 00:14:24,100 IN THE MOUNTED, YOU'LL GET HOOF AND MOUTH. THEY'LL HAVE TO SHOOT YOU. 314 00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:27,100 RELAX. HUMAN ANIMALS CAN'T GET HOOF AND MOUTH. 315 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:30,500 ANYWAYS, THIS IS PERFECT. I CAN'T EVEN RIDE. 316 00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:34,200 HEY, WHOA! 317 00:14:34,266 --> 00:14:36,200 STOP RIGHT THERE, YOUNG LADY. 318 00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,133 COME HERE. 319 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,100 LET ME GUESS. YOU'RE INVENTING A NEW SPORT. 320 00:14:41,166 --> 00:14:43,600 I INVENT YOU'RE GROUNDED THIS WEEKEND? 321 00:14:43,666 --> 00:14:46,100 YOUR FATHER'S MAKING A CAREER CHANGE. 322 00:14:46,166 --> 00:14:49,666 TO AN ASTRONAUT FROM THE PLANET WHERE PARENTS EMBARRASS CHILDREN? 323 00:14:49,733 --> 00:14:51,066 DON'T GET SMART. 324 00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:52,066 TURN AROUND. 325 00:14:53,766 --> 00:14:54,700 YOU HAPPY? 326 00:14:54,766 --> 00:14:56,000 LIFT YOUR SKIRT. 327 00:14:56,066 --> 00:14:57,500 MA, DAD'S A PERVERT. 328 00:14:57,566 --> 00:14:59,433 DON'T CALL YOUR FATHER THAT. 329 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:00,733 LIFT! 330 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,866 I CAN HAVE SOCIAL SERVICES IN FOR THIS. 331 00:15:02,933 --> 00:15:04,766 START LIFTING. 332 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:08,166 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? 333 00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:09,533 LIFT! 334 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,833 NO 15-YEAR-OLD OF... 335 00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:18,466 "MINE IS GOING OUT WEARING THAT." 336 00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:19,966 UPSTAIRS, NOW! 337 00:15:20,033 --> 00:15:21,266 GESTAPO! 338 00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:25,066 SEE IF THE GESTAPO PUTS A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD. 339 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,566 I'LL GIVE YOU GESTAPO. 340 00:15:26,633 --> 00:15:29,566 YOU WANT OUR DAUGHTER DRESSING LIKE A HOOKER? 341 00:15:29,633 --> 00:15:34,066 WHEN WE MET AT THE C.Y.O. DANCE, WHAT WAS I WEARING? 342 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:37,300 SISTER MARY OF SORROWS, A RED VINYL MINI. 343 00:15:38,533 --> 00:15:41,700 YOU WANT ANGELA DOING WHAT WE DID? 344 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:47,266 HEY, DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK, MISTER. 345 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:49,300 YOUR PARENTS ARE HUMAN TOO. 346 00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,333 HARD TO CONCEPTUALIZE. 347 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,566 GROOVY SHOES, DAD. 348 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,566 I GOT TO GO. 349 00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:59,266 YOU STILL PLAYING THAT THING? 350 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,833 THAT THING IS AN ELECTRONIC FLUTE. 351 00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:03,433 BOYS DON'T PLAY THE FLUTE. 352 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:04,866 EVER HEARD OF JETHRO TULL? 353 00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:06,600 OK, SO ONE GUY. 354 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:09,100 SO LONG, HUMANS. 355 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,333 WHY DO YOU DO THAT? 356 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,066 YOU LOVE THAT HE PLAYS AN INSTRUMENT. 357 00:16:14,133 --> 00:16:16,700 SURE I DO. IF HE KNOWS THAT, HE'LL STOP. 358 00:16:16,766 --> 00:16:19,700 HE'S A SPAMPATTA. WE'RE ALL HARDHEADS. 359 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,966 YOU AND DAD WENT AT IT BEFORE YOU WERE MARRIED? 360 00:16:27,033 --> 00:16:28,200 WEIRD. 361 00:16:28,266 --> 00:16:31,133 IT ONLY GOT WEIRD AFTER WE WERE MARRIED. 362 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:35,200 HEY, DID YOU TAKE THAT OFF? 363 00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:41,066 I THOUGHT WILL ROGERS HAD TRIGGER STUFFED. 364 00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:43,466 HE DID. THIS MUST BE A KNOCK-OFF. 365 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,600 YOU GOT MUD GUARDS FOR THAT THING? 366 00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:50,000 FUR TO WRAP AROUND THE REAR VIEW MIRROR? 367 00:16:50,066 --> 00:16:51,533 IT'S AN ANTIQUE. 368 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,900 IT WAS KIT CARSON'S. IT'S WORTH 5 GRAND. 369 00:16:53,966 --> 00:16:55,233 YOU GOT TOOK. 370 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:58,300 THERE'S A GUY THAT SELLS THEM AT FLEA MARKETS. 371 00:16:58,366 --> 00:17:00,800 IT'S A DIFFERENT GUY. 372 00:17:00,866 --> 00:17:02,766 ANYWAY, IT AIN'T REGULATION. 373 00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:05,466 WE'RE NOT EITHER. HE'S A RODEO HORSE. 374 00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:06,766 WHAT ARE YOU? 375 00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:08,800 I'M A ROPER. LONNIE WELLINGTON. 376 00:17:08,866 --> 00:17:11,300 OH, THE NEW GUY. JERRY BRIGGS. 377 00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:14,800 I MEANT THE BOSS WON'T GO FOR THIS SADDLE. 378 00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:18,233 HE BETTER. IT'S THE ONLY SADDLE BLAZE WILL RIDE. 379 00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,266 THAT'S A HELL OF A HORSE. 380 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:21,466 ( neighs ) 381 00:17:21,533 --> 00:17:23,766 WHOA. EASY. EASY, EASY, EASY, EASY. 382 00:17:23,833 --> 00:17:25,766 WHAT IS HE, HALF POODLE? 383 00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:27,466 HE'S NOT USED TO STRANGE PEOPLE YET. 384 00:17:27,533 --> 00:17:30,566 THE HORSE DON'T LIKE STRANGE PEOPLE. 385 00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:31,766 IN NEW YORK? 386 00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,900 HE'LL GET THE HANG OF IT. 387 00:17:33,966 --> 00:17:37,433 I'M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS. I'M DOING BETTER. 388 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:40,500 I'M DOING BETTER. LOOK. I'M DOING BETTER. 389 00:17:40,566 --> 00:17:42,733 YEAH, A REGULAR WILLIE THE SHOE. 390 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,733 YEAH, THIS IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. 391 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,233 SO WHAT'S HIS NAME? 392 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,400 HE DOESN'T HAVE A NAME. 393 00:17:48,466 --> 00:17:50,266 EVERYBODY'S GOT A NAME. 394 00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:54,166 HE'S NOT AN EVERYBODY, TONY. HE'S A HORSE. NYPD NUMBER 9-2-5, 395 00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:56,200 BUT WE JUST CALL HIM THE HORSE FROM HELL. 396 00:17:56,266 --> 00:17:57,833 WHAT? YOU CALL HIM WHAT? 397 00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:59,466 RELAX, IT'S JUST A NICKNAME. 398 00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:01,733 - WHY IS IT A NICKNAME? - WOULD YOU FORGET ABOUT IT? 399 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,600 - I'M LETTING GO NOW. - DON'T LET GO OF THE ROPE. 400 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,400 I'M GONNA LET GO, TONY. I'M LETTING GO, TONY. 401 00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:07,900 DON'T LET GO, MIKEY. 402 00:18:07,966 --> 00:18:09,400 I'M LETTING GO, TONY. 403 00:18:09,466 --> 00:18:11,400 YOU DON'T LET GO ON THE HORSE FROM HELL. 404 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:12,900 FORGET ABOUT IT! I'M LETTIN' GO. 405 00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:14,833 WE'RE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 406 00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:16,833 DON'T FALL IN LOVE. HE'S MENTAL. 407 00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:17,833 NO, MIKEY. 408 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,833 NO, NO, NO. COME ON. 409 00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:21,833 MY HORSE IS AN E.D.P. 410 00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:22,833 THAT'S GREAT. 411 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,066 WHAT'S HE DOING, MIKEY? 412 00:18:25,133 --> 00:18:26,300 HE'S WALKING. 413 00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,100 IT FEELS LIKE HE'S NOT WALKING. 414 00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:30,033 HE'S WALKING, TONY. 415 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,233 HEH HEH HEH HEH. 416 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,033 HEY, I'M RIDING HERE. 417 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:37,733 NUDGE HIM WITH YOUR HEELS. 418 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,033 - NO. - YES. 419 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:40,533 - NO. - YES! 420 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,266 - HARDER. - WHY? HE'S STARTING ATO LIKE ME. 421 00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:46,266 HE HATES YOU, TONY. JUST NUDGE HIM. HARDER. 422 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,866 HOW HARD? I DON'T WANT TO END UP IN QUEENS. 423 00:18:48,933 --> 00:18:50,266 JUST DO IT! 424 00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:52,433 WHAT ARE YOU, A BALLET DANCER? 425 00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,433 WHOA! WHOA! 426 00:18:57,766 --> 00:18:58,700 COMING THROUGH! 427 00:18:58,766 --> 00:19:01,366 NOW HE'S GONE CRAZY ON ME! 428 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,200 SETTLE DOWN! HEY! 429 00:19:03,266 --> 00:19:04,366 ( neigh ) 430 00:19:04,433 --> 00:19:06,833 DON'T GET OFF. YOU'LL SPOOK HIM. 431 00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,266 HOLY CHRISTMAS! 432 00:19:08,333 --> 00:19:09,366 WHOA! WHOA! 433 00:19:09,433 --> 00:19:11,033 GET OUT. YOU'RE SCARING THE HORSE! 434 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,366 SIT STILL! 435 00:19:12,433 --> 00:19:14,366 HALT! POLICE! FREEZE! 436 00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:16,000 OH! WHOA! WHOA! 437 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:20,966 WHOA! 438 00:19:21,966 --> 00:19:23,566 RUNAWAY HORSE! 439 00:19:24,866 --> 00:19:25,866 COME ON! 440 00:19:39,066 --> 00:19:41,066 ( "William Tell Overture" playing ) 441 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,300 HEY, MAN! 442 00:20:04,233 --> 00:20:06,166 COME ON! STOP! STOP ALREADY! 443 00:20:06,233 --> 00:20:07,666 LOOK OUT! HELP! 444 00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:09,233 STOP, HORSE! STOP! 445 00:20:15,133 --> 00:20:17,033 ( honks ) 446 00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:25,366 THAT'S ENOUGH! CUT IT OUT, HORSE! 447 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,633 RUNAWAY HORSE! 448 00:20:28,133 --> 00:20:30,133 OH! 449 00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:34,433 LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! 450 00:20:39,266 --> 00:20:40,466 LOOK OUT! 451 00:20:40,533 --> 00:20:41,466 HEY! 452 00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:42,633 HEY, HEY! 453 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,700 WHOA! 454 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,833 COME ON, HORSE. 455 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:52,766 STOP! WILL YOU PLEASE STOP? 456 00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:54,333 JUST SLOW DOWN! 457 00:21:20,866 --> 00:21:21,866 HEY! 458 00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:26,833 CLEAR THE BRIDGE! POLICE BUSINESS! 459 00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:29,933 HEY! YOU CRAZY OR SOMETHING? 460 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,466 MAN, I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT! 461 00:21:32,533 --> 00:21:33,800 GET OUT OF HERE! 462 00:21:33,866 --> 00:21:35,366 STOP YANKING ON HIS MANE! 463 00:21:35,433 --> 00:21:36,600 STOP SCARING MY HORSE! 464 00:21:36,666 --> 00:21:37,600 STOP YANKING HIS MANE! 465 00:21:37,666 --> 00:21:39,366 I WILL! STOP SCARING HIM! 466 00:21:39,433 --> 00:21:41,933 GET HIS HEAD DOWN! HE'LL STOP RUNNING! 467 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,433 YOU'RE FREAKING HIM OUT! 468 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:45,733 PULL BACK ON THE REINS! 469 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,366 WHAT ARE YOU, AN EXPERT? 470 00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:49,066 NO. I'M THE GOOD HORSE FAIRY! 471 00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:50,433 GET OUT OF HERE! 472 00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:52,366 GET ON THE BACK OF MY HORSE! 473 00:21:52,433 --> 00:21:54,900 KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF ME, WILL YOU? 474 00:21:54,966 --> 00:21:57,100 HOLY CHRISTMAS IN CLEVELAND! 475 00:21:57,166 --> 00:21:58,566 CALL MY WIFE! 476 00:21:58,633 --> 00:22:00,766 TELL HER I'M SORRY ABOUT THE STRIPPER 477 00:22:00,833 --> 00:22:02,266 AT HER BROTHER'S STAG PARTY! 478 00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:04,066 IT WAS THE ONLY TIME, HONEST! 479 00:22:04,133 --> 00:22:07,033 NO, HORSE! NO! THIS IS AN ORDER! STOP! 480 00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:09,600 NOT THE WATER! NO! 481 00:22:16,433 --> 00:22:19,866 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TEAM YOU'RE ON, PAL, 482 00:22:19,933 --> 00:22:22,000 BUT I HOPE YOU WIN. 483 00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:26,400 YOU WANT I ARREST YOU RIGHT HERE, COWBOY? 484 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,800 OK, FREEZE, BOTH OF YOU GUYS. 485 00:22:32,866 --> 00:22:33,933 THE HORSE TOO. 486 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,100 COOL IT, ANDERSON. 487 00:22:36,166 --> 00:22:38,466 IT'S ME-- SPAMPATTA. 488 00:22:38,533 --> 00:22:40,700 AND WHO'S THAT, THE LONE RANGER? 489 00:22:40,766 --> 00:22:43,633 NO. THAT'S THE GOOD HORSE FAIRY, 490 00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,433 HE'S THE HORSE FROM HELL, 491 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,666 AND I'M A HORSE'S ASS. 492 00:22:54,766 --> 00:22:56,200 YOU COULD'VE KILLED YOURSELF. 493 00:22:56,266 --> 00:22:59,000 - I COULD'VE KILLED MYSELF? - YEAH. 494 00:22:59,066 --> 00:23:01,933 YOU MIGHT BE THE HORSE MEISTER OR SOMETHING, 495 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,933 BUT NEXT TIME, DON'T SCARE MY MOUNT. 496 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,433 SCARE HIM? MAYBE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, 497 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:09,433 BUT I SAVED YOUR LIFE. 498 00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:10,933 I DON'T KNOW YOU, 499 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,433 SO DON'T SAVE MY LIFE, OK? 500 00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:15,933 YOU RAN MY HORSE INTO THAT POND. 501 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,933 THEY'LL PROBABLY DOCK MY PAY 502 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000 TO PUMP OUT HIS LUNGS. 503 00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:25,600 THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A STUNT YOU PULLED. 504 00:23:25,666 --> 00:23:27,100 IT WASN'T A STUNT. 505 00:23:27,166 --> 00:23:30,066 MALIA WAS TEACHING ME TO RIDE. 506 00:23:30,133 --> 00:23:31,733 HE NUDGED THE HORSE. 507 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:32,933 SPAMPATTA. 508 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,933 THE HORSE WENT COMPLETELY NUTSO, 509 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,700 BUT I CALMED HIM DOWN-- 510 00:23:36,766 --> 00:23:37,600 SPAMPATTA! 511 00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,933 - YES, SIR? - SHUT UP. 512 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,100 YES, SIR. 513 00:23:43,366 --> 00:23:47,466 SO YOU'RE THE COWBOY THAT'S TRANSFERRING INTO MY UNIT? 514 00:23:47,533 --> 00:23:48,700 YES, SIR. 515 00:23:48,766 --> 00:23:50,200 YOU MAKE SOME ENTRANCE. 516 00:23:50,266 --> 00:23:51,933 SORRY, BUT WHEN I SAW-- 517 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000 - WELLINGTON? - SIR? 518 00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:56,733 YOU CAN SHUT UP TOO. 519 00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:03,333 YOU LIKE THIS DESK? 520 00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:07,033 SIR? 521 00:24:07,100 --> 00:24:09,400 THIS DESK-- DO YOU LIKE IT? 522 00:24:09,466 --> 00:24:12,133 - IT'S A LOVELY DESK. - SHUT UP, SPAMPATTA. 523 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,333 I FIGURED THAT A MAN LIKE YOU MIGHT LIKE A DESK LIKE THIS. 524 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,333 - DO YOU? - YES, SIR. 525 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,833 WHY? 526 00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:20,466 BECAUSE IT'S A LOVELY DESK, SIR? 527 00:24:20,533 --> 00:24:22,666 WRONG. IT'S A FAMOUS DESK. 528 00:24:22,733 --> 00:24:24,200 I CAN SEE THAT. 529 00:24:24,266 --> 00:24:26,266 IT'S FROM OUT WEST. 530 00:24:26,333 --> 00:24:28,733 YOU KNOW WHO OWNED IT? 531 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,633 SOMEONE FROM OUT WEST, SIR. 532 00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,133 OH, THAT'S BRILLIANT. 533 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:33,700 SHUT UP, SPAMPATTA. 534 00:24:36,866 --> 00:24:41,100 GENERAL GEORGE CUSTER OWNED THIS DESK. 535 00:24:41,166 --> 00:24:43,733 PROBABLY PUT HIS FEET ON IT, 536 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,833 ATE HIS LUNCH, MAYBE EVEN WROTE TO LINCOLN ON IT. 537 00:24:46,900 --> 00:24:49,000 IT'S CLEAR THAT THIS DESK 538 00:24:49,066 --> 00:24:52,200 IS STEEPED IN HISTORY, SIR. 539 00:24:52,266 --> 00:24:54,766 YOU HAVE ANY ANTIQUES, WELLINGTON? 540 00:24:54,833 --> 00:24:56,333 I OWN KIT CARSON'S SADDLE. 541 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,066 NO, YOU DON'T. A GUY SELLS THOSE 542 00:24:58,133 --> 00:24:59,833 AT FLEA MARKETS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. 543 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,733 THIS IS SOME FILE, COWBOY. 544 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,500 YOU GOT A POLICE SERVICE MEDAL 545 00:25:05,566 --> 00:25:07,566 FOR TAKING THREE SLUGS AND PULLING A WIFE AND CHILD 546 00:25:07,633 --> 00:25:09,066 OUT OF A POTENTIAL MURDER-SUICIDE. 547 00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:10,100 YOU'RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE. 548 00:25:10,166 --> 00:25:12,533 THAT'S HOW I GOT MY NAME, SIR. 549 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,666 "LUCKY." IT'S MY NICKNAME. 550 00:25:15,733 --> 00:25:17,966 YEAH? MINE'S TONY THE HAM. 551 00:25:19,900 --> 00:25:22,833 I LIKE A COP THAT'S BEEN SHOT. 552 00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:25,000 GIVES HIM A CERTAIN PERSPECTIVE. 553 00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:28,966 LAW ENFORCEMENT IS AN ART FORM, WELLINGTON. 554 00:25:29,033 --> 00:25:30,966 YOUR SERVICE REVOLVER IS THE BRUSH, 555 00:25:31,033 --> 00:25:33,000 AND THE STREET IS THE CANVAS. 556 00:25:33,066 --> 00:25:35,933 WELL, I'LL TRY NOT TO SPILL ANY PAINT ON MYSELF, SIR. 557 00:25:37,533 --> 00:25:38,966 WAS THAT A WISECRACK? 558 00:25:39,033 --> 00:25:41,333 - NO, SIR. - IT WAS A WISECRACK. 559 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,166 IT WAS NOT A WISECRACK. 560 00:25:43,233 --> 00:25:45,800 PERSONALLY, SIR, IT WAS A WISECRACK, BUT I COULD BE WRONG. 561 00:25:45,866 --> 00:25:48,233 SECURE THE SCHMOOZE, SPAMPATTA. 562 00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:56,333 DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE GETTING INTO THIS OUTFIT? 563 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:57,866 BECAUSE I COLLECT ANTIQUES? 564 00:25:57,933 --> 00:26:00,300 BECAUSE YOU GOT YOUR OWN HORSE AND KNOW HOW TO RIDE. 565 00:26:00,366 --> 00:26:02,633 IT COSTS A FORTUNE TO TRAIN THESE MOUNTS 566 00:26:02,700 --> 00:26:05,866 FOR COPS WHO COULDN'T STEER A GOAT. 567 00:26:05,933 --> 00:26:08,933 WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, MY HORSE FROM HELL-- 568 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,433 WHENEVER AN INCIDENT HAPPENS-- 569 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:14,800 A CITIZEN GETS RUN DOWN BY OUR HORSES, 570 00:26:14,866 --> 00:26:17,100 SOME DIGNITARY'S WIFE PUTS HER FERRAGAMO 571 00:26:17,166 --> 00:26:18,933 INTO ONE OF OUR FAMOUS HOT DEPOSITS, 572 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,566 OR A COUPLE OF OFFICERS GO STEEPLE-CHASING 573 00:26:21,633 --> 00:26:23,833 OVER PRETZEL STANDS AND TAXICABS 574 00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:26,333 RIGHT INTO THE CENTRAL PARK POND, 575 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,400 I START HEARING WORDS LIKE ARCHAIC, 576 00:26:29,466 --> 00:26:31,533 COSSACKS, 577 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,533 F-TROOP. I HATE THAT. 578 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,533 THE MOUNTED DIVISION IS UNDER THE CLOSEST SCRUTINY 579 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,033 OF ANY DIVISION. 580 00:26:38,100 --> 00:26:41,033 WE'VE GOT TO JAM UP AND JELLY TIGHT. 581 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,266 ( rubbing sound ) 582 00:26:51,033 --> 00:26:52,966 ALL RIGHT. 583 00:26:53,033 --> 00:26:55,133 WELLINGTON, I WANT YOU TO TEACH SPAMPATTA 584 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:56,933 EVERYTHING HE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT HORSES. 585 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,466 EXCUSE ME, SIR? 586 00:26:58,533 --> 00:27:01,533 IN OTHER WORDS, TEACH JINGLES HERE HOW TO RIDE. 587 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,033 SPAMPATTA, TEACH WELLINGTON 588 00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:05,700 TO BE A NEW YORK COP. 589 00:27:05,766 --> 00:27:08,700 IS THAT A GOOD IDEA? I'M SO NEW-- 590 00:27:08,766 --> 00:27:10,633 AND WE CAN'T STAND EACH OTHER? 591 00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:13,633 I THINK IT'S A MARRIAGE MADE IN HEAVEN. 592 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,033 TERRIFIC. 593 00:27:15,100 --> 00:27:17,800 I'M NOT WILD ABOUT IT EITHER, COWBOY. 594 00:27:17,866 --> 00:27:19,400 SIR, COULD WE MAYBE-- 595 00:27:19,466 --> 00:27:22,533 SPAMPATTA, YOUR REPUTATION AS A HUMP BUSTER PRECEDES YOU. 596 00:27:24,466 --> 00:27:27,000 BUT I DON'T CARE THAT YOU WERE SOME HOTSHOT. 597 00:27:27,066 --> 00:27:31,066 SCREW UP HERE AND YOU'LL BE RETIRED TOMORROW ON HALF PAY. 598 00:27:31,133 --> 00:27:32,700 HE'S A SCREW-UP, WELLINGTON. 599 00:27:32,766 --> 00:27:34,466 TRY NOT TO LET HIM GET YOU KILLED. 600 00:27:34,533 --> 00:27:36,466 SIR, I WAS JUST WONDERING 601 00:27:36,533 --> 00:27:39,466 WHEN I MIGHT BE ASSIGNED A PERMANENT HORSE? 602 00:27:39,533 --> 00:27:41,833 YOU KNOW, A REGULAR MOUNT, SIR? 603 00:27:41,900 --> 00:27:44,366 DON'T YOU HAVE A HORSE, SPAMPATTA? 604 00:27:44,433 --> 00:27:46,866 YEAH, HERE IT IS RIGHT HERE-- 605 00:27:46,933 --> 00:27:48,333 NYPD NUMBER 925. 606 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,333 BETTER KNOWN AS THE HORSE FROM HELL, I BELIEVE. 607 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,333 LIEUTENANT TORRES WILL GIVE YOU 608 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,466 THE RUNDOWN FROM HERE. 609 00:27:55,533 --> 00:27:57,466 TORRES IS A TOUGH COP, 610 00:27:57,533 --> 00:27:59,866 SO WATCH YOUR MOUTH. DISMISSED. 611 00:27:59,933 --> 00:28:02,400 WHAT'S WITH HIM? 612 00:28:02,466 --> 00:28:04,233 BIG HAT, NO CATTLE. 613 00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:05,900 WHO'S LIEUTENANT TORRES? 614 00:28:05,966 --> 00:28:07,733 DON'T ASK ME, PAL. 615 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,233 I BEAT YOU INTO THIS OUTFIT BY 15 MINUTES. 616 00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:14,033 "JAM UP AND JELLY TIGHT." 617 00:28:24,633 --> 00:28:26,066 YOU KNOW, MICKEY, 618 00:28:26,133 --> 00:28:28,566 PARTNERS STAY UP FRONT WITH EACH OTHER. 619 00:28:28,633 --> 00:28:31,133 WHO'S NOT BEING UP FRONT, ME? 620 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,633 NO, NOBODY, THAT'S WHO. 621 00:28:32,700 --> 00:28:35,566 NICKY, DON'T I ALWAYS TELL YOU WHAT'S UP? 622 00:28:35,633 --> 00:28:37,200 YEAH. SO, WHAT'S UP? 623 00:28:37,266 --> 00:28:39,700 NOTHING'S UP. NOT YET IT ISN'T. 624 00:28:39,766 --> 00:28:44,700 YOU GOT ME TO WELD A CHAIN LINK FENCE IN MY COUSIN'S VAN. 625 00:28:44,766 --> 00:28:47,066 MICKEY, I ONLY TOLD HIM WE WERE MOVING A COUCH. 626 00:28:47,133 --> 00:28:50,066 I'LL TELL YOU WHEN SOMETHING COMES UP, OK? 627 00:28:50,133 --> 00:28:51,566 AND YOU KNOW WHY? 628 00:28:51,633 --> 00:28:53,066 BECAUSE WE'RE PARTNERS, NICKY. 629 00:28:53,133 --> 00:28:55,266 BECAUSE WE'RE PARTNERS IS WHY. 630 00:28:55,333 --> 00:28:58,233 THIS WILL BE GOOD FOR US, WON'T IT? 631 00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:01,266 GOOD FOR US? THIS WILL PUT US ON TOP. 632 00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:04,300 UP WHERE PEOPLE, LIKE, NOTICE. 633 00:29:04,366 --> 00:29:06,433 IN PLACES WHERE THEY LET YOU SIGN FOR DRINKS 634 00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:09,766 INSTEAD OF PAYING CASH LIKE SOME YIN-YANG FROM HACKENSACK. 635 00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:13,433 I'M FROM HACKENSACK, MICKEY. 636 00:29:13,500 --> 00:29:15,133 THAT'S MY POINT, NICK. 637 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,166 THAT'S MY POINT. 638 00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:29,400 THERE IT IS. 639 00:29:29,466 --> 00:29:30,700 THERE'S WHAT? 640 00:29:30,766 --> 00:29:33,300 THE TRUCK. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE TRUCK. 641 00:29:33,366 --> 00:29:34,800 WHAT ABOUT IT? 642 00:29:34,866 --> 00:29:37,133 IT'S GOING TO MAKE US RICH 643 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,633 AND GET US KNOWN. 644 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:40,133 BY WHO, A JUNKMAN? 645 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:43,800 IT'S OLD. YOU GOING TO STEAL SOMETHING THAT OLD? 646 00:29:43,866 --> 00:29:46,800 IT'S WHAT'S IN THE TRUCK THAT MATTERS. 647 00:29:46,866 --> 00:29:48,300 WHAT'S IN IT? 648 00:29:48,366 --> 00:29:49,800 A LOT WORTH SOMETHING. 649 00:29:49,866 --> 00:29:51,800 YOU LEAVE SOMETHING WORTH A LOT 650 00:29:51,866 --> 00:29:53,800 IN SOMETHING THAT'S WORTH SOMETHING, 651 00:29:53,866 --> 00:29:55,933 IT AIN'T GOING TO HANG AROUND. 652 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,166 NOW DO WHAT I SAY. 653 00:29:58,233 --> 00:29:59,533 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 654 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,666 I'M GOING TO HIT YOU A COUPLE FLIES. 655 00:30:14,666 --> 00:30:17,600 I THOUGHT THIS WAS FOR FATHER BATAGLIA'S LAWN FETE. 656 00:30:17,666 --> 00:30:19,100 I WAS LYING. 657 00:30:19,166 --> 00:30:20,600 WHAT'S IN THERE, MICKEY? 658 00:30:20,666 --> 00:30:22,100 A FUR COAT, OK? 659 00:30:22,166 --> 00:30:23,600 IT'S WORTH A FORTUNE. 660 00:30:23,666 --> 00:30:25,600 WHEN I OPEN THESE DOORS, 661 00:30:25,666 --> 00:30:27,600 HOLD IT OUT A SECOND, 662 00:30:27,666 --> 00:30:30,600 THEN THROW IT INTO THE VAN, ALL RIGHT? 663 00:30:30,666 --> 00:30:32,600 DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. 664 00:30:32,666 --> 00:30:35,600 I'M TRYING TO MAKE YOU AN IMPORTANT MAN, 665 00:30:35,666 --> 00:30:38,666 SO I DON'T NEED THAT LOOK RIGHT NOW. 666 00:30:41,233 --> 00:30:42,600 GET IN HERE. 667 00:30:42,666 --> 00:30:43,800 WHAT? 668 00:30:43,866 --> 00:30:47,266 GET IN! ALL RIGHT, WHEN I COUNT 3. READY? 669 00:30:47,333 --> 00:30:50,466 1...2...3. 670 00:31:01,233 --> 00:31:03,100 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 671 00:31:03,166 --> 00:31:04,600 AN ENDANGERED SPECIES, NICKY. 672 00:31:04,666 --> 00:31:07,566 YOU SAID IT WAS A FUR COAT. YOU LIED. 673 00:31:07,633 --> 00:31:10,500 I DIDN'T LIE. THIS FUR COAT 674 00:31:10,566 --> 00:31:12,566 HASN'T FINISHED ITS EVOLUTIONARY PROCESS. 675 00:31:14,766 --> 00:31:18,200 I GET CAUGHT AND THE UNION FILES A GRIEVANCE, 676 00:31:18,266 --> 00:31:20,700 IT'LL COST ME A DAY'S PAY. 677 00:31:20,766 --> 00:31:22,700 A DAY'S PAY'S MY DUES. 678 00:31:22,766 --> 00:31:25,700 THAT WAY, THE UNION GETS ME TO PAY TWICE. 679 00:31:25,766 --> 00:31:27,200 THEY'RE HONORABLE MEN. 680 00:31:27,266 --> 00:31:30,200 THEY GOT A BLACKSMITH'S UNION IN NEW YORK? 681 00:31:30,266 --> 00:31:33,700 THEY GOT A UNION FOR EVERYBODY IN NEW YORK-- 682 00:31:33,766 --> 00:31:36,500 STREET MIMES, RUNAWAYS, PANHANDLERS, HOOKERS. 683 00:31:36,566 --> 00:31:38,100 THEY HAVE HOOKER UNIONS? 684 00:31:38,166 --> 00:31:41,166 WELLINGTON, YOU EVER THINK ABOUT BUYING A BRIDGE? 685 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:45,366 I'LL GET YOU A GOOD DEAL ON ONE NEAR BROOKLYN. 686 00:31:45,433 --> 00:31:49,200 HEY, VALLEY JOE, IS THIS RIGHT? 687 00:31:49,266 --> 00:31:51,566 IT'S VALLEJO. 688 00:31:51,633 --> 00:31:54,066 YEAH? TAKE A SHOT AT SPAMPATTA. 689 00:31:54,133 --> 00:31:55,900 IS THIS RIGHT, OR WHAT? 690 00:31:55,966 --> 00:31:58,400 FOR YOU, NO. IT'S NOT BACKWARDS. 691 00:31:58,466 --> 00:31:59,966 HA HA HA! 692 00:32:00,033 --> 00:32:02,033 HA HA HA. THAT'S CUTE. 693 00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:04,100 ALL RIGHT. 694 00:32:04,166 --> 00:32:06,900 ALL RIGHT, HORSE, JUST TAKE IT EASY. 695 00:32:06,966 --> 00:32:08,466 THIS WON'T HURT YOU. 696 00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:14,100 MAYBE YOU WANT COFFEE TO GO WITH THAT. 697 00:32:16,833 --> 00:32:18,066 YECCHH. 698 00:32:18,133 --> 00:32:20,300 AW, JEEZ. 699 00:32:22,633 --> 00:32:25,566 I WAS A JUVENILE DELINQUENT BEFORE BLACKSMITH TRAINING. 700 00:32:25,633 --> 00:32:27,566 WHY DID YOU PICK BLACKSMITHING? 701 00:32:27,633 --> 00:32:29,966 BECAUSE THEY GOT A GREAT UNION. 702 00:32:30,033 --> 00:32:31,466 I THOUGHT THIS OCCUPATION 703 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:33,900 WOULD LEAD DIRECTLY TO UNEMPLOYMENT CHECKS. 704 00:32:33,966 --> 00:32:35,400 WHO KNEW, RIGHT? 705 00:32:35,466 --> 00:32:39,466 ANYBODY ASKS, I WENT TO STEAM CLEAN MY COFFEE CUP. 706 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:52,233 EXCUSE ME. WE HAVE SOMEONE TO SHOE THE HORSES. 707 00:32:52,300 --> 00:32:56,300 COULD I SHOW YOU A BLACK PUMP WITH A LOW HEEL? 708 00:32:57,633 --> 00:32:59,633 LOOK, THIS IS MY HORSE. 709 00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:03,633 WE'RE NEW, AND HE'S A LITTLE NERVOUS. 710 00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:06,566 THIS IS NEW YORK. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE NERVOUS. 711 00:33:06,633 --> 00:33:08,133 WHAT THE HELL'S THIS? 712 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,033 THAT'S FEED GRAIN, MA'AM. 713 00:33:10,100 --> 00:33:11,533 IT'S NOT MA'AM, OFFICER. 714 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,533 IT'S LIEUTENANT TORRES. WHO ORDERED THIS? 715 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,466 I'M AFRAID I DID, SIR. 716 00:33:15,533 --> 00:33:17,533 LIEUTENANT WILL BE FINE, OFFICER. 717 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,600 ( speaking Spanish ) 718 00:33:21,133 --> 00:33:23,066 ( speaking Spanish ) 719 00:33:23,133 --> 00:33:24,633 THIS YOUR HORSE? 720 00:33:24,700 --> 00:33:26,066 YES, MA'AM-- UH, LIEUTENANT. 721 00:33:26,133 --> 00:33:28,466 - DID HE WIN THE BELMONT? - NO. 722 00:33:28,533 --> 00:33:30,166 - IS HE ON TELEVISION? - NO. 723 00:33:30,233 --> 00:33:31,400 WAS HE THE FIRST HORSE IN SPACE? 724 00:33:31,466 --> 00:33:33,533 NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF. 725 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:34,966 ( speaking Spanish ) 726 00:33:36,066 --> 00:33:37,500 THIS MUST BE A VERY SPECIAL HORSE. 727 00:33:37,566 --> 00:33:39,400 HE'S A MATRIMONIAL SOUVENIR. 728 00:33:39,466 --> 00:33:42,833 SHE GOT THE HOUSE, I GOT THE HORSE. LONNIE WELLINGTON. 729 00:33:42,900 --> 00:33:45,333 I KNOW. THE GOOD HORSE FAIRY. 730 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:46,733 STALL NUMBER 56. 731 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,300 SORRY, IT MUST BE YOUR PERFUME. 732 00:33:49,366 --> 00:33:51,333 CERTAIN SMELLS, HE GOES NUTS. 733 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,333 I GOT THE SAME PROBLEM. 734 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:54,833 GET IT SORTED OUT. 735 00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:57,833 WE GOT ENOUGH TROUBLE WITHOUT ANOTHER DUMB ANIMAL 736 00:33:57,900 --> 00:33:59,233 WITH AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM. 737 00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:02,800 OK, I'M GOING TO NEED A HOME TELEPHONE NUMBER 738 00:34:02,866 --> 00:34:04,300 AND AN ADDRESS. 739 00:34:04,366 --> 00:34:07,366 I, UH, DON'T HAVE ONE. 740 00:34:07,433 --> 00:34:09,366 A TELEPHONE OR AN ADDRESS? 741 00:34:09,433 --> 00:34:11,300 I DON'T HAVE BOTH. 742 00:34:11,366 --> 00:34:14,766 YOU BED DOWN WITH YOUR HORSE IN CENTRAL PARK? 743 00:34:14,833 --> 00:34:16,266 DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES. 744 00:34:16,333 --> 00:34:17,766 NO, MA'AM-- LIEUTENANT. 745 00:34:17,833 --> 00:34:21,133 AND I'M GETTING ME AN APARTMENT THIS AFTERNOON. 746 00:34:21,199 --> 00:34:24,366 HOW HARD IS IT? FIVE MILLION PEOPLE LIVE HERE. 747 00:34:24,433 --> 00:34:25,433 TRY 10. 748 00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:27,033 SOMEBODY NEEDS A ROOMMATE. 749 00:34:27,100 --> 00:34:28,433 WHERE YOU FROM AGAIN? 750 00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:29,466 MONTANA. 751 00:34:29,533 --> 00:34:30,833 WHAT YEAR? 752 00:34:32,433 --> 00:34:33,866 YOU GOT TO KNOW SOMEBODY 753 00:34:33,933 --> 00:34:35,300 TO GET A DECENT PLACE IN NEW YORK. 754 00:34:35,366 --> 00:34:37,699 WELL, I KNOW YOU. 755 00:34:37,766 --> 00:34:40,199 NOT QUITE, COWBOY. 756 00:34:40,266 --> 00:34:41,733 FOLLOW ME. 757 00:34:49,699 --> 00:34:52,133 I CAN'T SLEEP HERE. IT STINKS. 758 00:34:52,199 --> 00:34:55,133 DON'T LET IT MAKE YOU GO NUTS. 759 00:34:55,199 --> 00:34:56,633 DON'T TELL SMITHERS, OK? 760 00:34:56,699 --> 00:34:59,566 THE GUY'S A RULES AND REGULATIONS FREAK. 761 00:34:59,633 --> 00:35:02,233 PROBABLY MAKES HIS WIFE DRESS UP LIKE A CROSSING GUARD 762 00:35:02,300 --> 00:35:03,800 AND JAYWALK ACROSS THE WATERBED. 763 00:35:03,866 --> 00:35:06,500 YOU MAKE THIS UP OR HAVE IT WRITTEN DOWN? 764 00:35:06,566 --> 00:35:10,500 I MAKE IT UP, BUT YOU CAN WRITE IT DOWN. 765 00:35:10,566 --> 00:35:13,400 PUT YOUR NAME ON THE DEPARTMENT'S BULLETIN BOARD. 766 00:35:13,466 --> 00:35:15,400 HALF THE COPS IN MANHATTAN 767 00:35:15,466 --> 00:35:17,400 ARE GETTING DIVORCED OR MARRIED, 768 00:35:17,466 --> 00:35:20,466 SO YOU'LL PROBABLY FIND A ROOMMATE. 769 00:35:20,533 --> 00:35:22,466 HOW ABOUT YOU? 770 00:35:22,533 --> 00:35:24,466 I DON'T NEED A ROOMMATE, THANKS. 771 00:35:24,533 --> 00:35:27,333 I MEANT ARE YOU GETTING DIVORCED OR MARRIED? 772 00:35:28,766 --> 00:35:30,200 OH. I'VE DONE BOTH. 773 00:35:30,266 --> 00:35:33,066 I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT EITHER. 774 00:35:33,133 --> 00:35:34,333 I'M GREAT AT IT. 775 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,766 WHICH? 776 00:35:37,066 --> 00:35:38,300 BOTH. 777 00:36:20,033 --> 00:36:21,966 YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME. 778 00:36:22,033 --> 00:36:23,966 YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT. 779 00:36:24,033 --> 00:36:25,466 BY NOT TELLING YOU, 780 00:36:25,533 --> 00:36:27,466 I'M MAKING YOU AN IMPORTANT MAN. 781 00:36:27,533 --> 00:36:29,466 I DON'T WANT TO BE IMPORTANT. 782 00:36:29,533 --> 00:36:31,466 WHERE'D YOU GET THE TIGER? 783 00:36:31,533 --> 00:36:32,966 YOU FIGURE IT OUT. 784 00:36:33,033 --> 00:36:36,466 BY NOT TELLING YOU, I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR. 785 00:36:36,533 --> 00:36:37,966 BY NOT TELLING ME, 786 00:36:38,033 --> 00:36:39,966 I LOST A $200 SHIRT. 787 00:36:40,033 --> 00:36:43,133 YOU GOT TO LEARN TO DRESS FOR WORK, NICK. 788 00:36:55,700 --> 00:36:57,433 ( roars ) 789 00:36:57,500 --> 00:36:58,800 AAH! 790 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,533 WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WAY I DRESS? 791 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,166 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE GOING DANCING. 792 00:37:08,233 --> 00:37:09,300 WHAT THE-- 793 00:37:17,933 --> 00:37:19,166 NO! 794 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,500 ASpampatta: COME ON, GO! GO, GO, GO! COME ON! 795 00:37:52,566 --> 00:37:54,000 I DON'T GET THIS. 796 00:37:54,066 --> 00:37:56,500 YESTERDAY, HE'S THE HORSE FROM HELL. 797 00:37:56,566 --> 00:37:58,500 TODAY, HE'S A GIANT DOORSTOP. 798 00:37:58,566 --> 00:38:00,566 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 799 00:38:00,633 --> 00:38:02,066 COME ON, GO. 800 00:38:02,133 --> 00:38:03,800 YOU GO FIRST, OK? 801 00:38:03,866 --> 00:38:05,300 I DON'T KNOW THE STREETS. 802 00:38:05,366 --> 00:38:08,300 I DIDN'T KNOW GEORGE BUSH, BUT I VOTED FOR HIM. 803 00:38:08,366 --> 00:38:09,466 YOU'RE SURE? 804 00:38:09,533 --> 00:38:12,200 WHAT'S THIS, A QUIZ? I'M POSITIVE. 805 00:38:12,266 --> 00:38:13,566 I'M THINKING ABOUT YESTERDAY. 806 00:38:13,633 --> 00:38:15,633 LEAVE THE THINKING UP TO ME. 807 00:38:15,700 --> 00:38:18,633 I'LL CALL OUT DIRECTIONS LIKE A FIGHTER PLANE-- 808 00:38:18,700 --> 00:38:20,733 PILOT UP FRONT, NAVIGATOR IN BACK. 809 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,500 HOW LONG YOU RIDDEN HORSES? 810 00:38:22,566 --> 00:38:25,000 OK, YESTERDAY I WAS A VIRGIN, 811 00:38:25,066 --> 00:38:28,500 AND MY WIFE THINKS SHE MARRIED THIS PART HERE. 812 00:38:28,566 --> 00:38:30,500 COME ON, LET'S GO, HORSE. 813 00:38:30,566 --> 00:38:32,066 MOVE IT, WILL YOU? 814 00:38:32,133 --> 00:38:35,566 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE HIM A NAME. 815 00:38:35,633 --> 00:38:37,066 HORSES ARE VERY SENSITIVE. 816 00:38:37,133 --> 00:38:38,633 SENSITIVE, ARE THEY? 817 00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:42,033 HOW'S STEVE? IS THAT SENSITIVE ENOUGH FOR YOU? 818 00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:44,000 ( snort ) 819 00:38:44,066 --> 00:38:46,333 ( snort ) 820 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:47,666 STEVE? 821 00:38:47,733 --> 00:38:50,233 YEAH, AS IN STEVE LAWRENCE, HUH? 822 00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:57,033 WHAT'S THAT? 823 00:38:57,100 --> 00:38:59,100 HEY, GREAT, STEVE. 824 00:38:59,166 --> 00:39:00,933 WAY TO GO, PAL. 825 00:39:03,233 --> 00:39:05,766 THERE WE GO. NOW WE'RE RIDING. 826 00:39:05,833 --> 00:39:08,933 ATony: OKAY, OKAY. SLOW DOWN, WILL YOU? 827 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,966 - Lucky: HE'S JUST WALKING. - HE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE AHE'S JUST WALKING. 828 00:39:11,033 --> 00:39:12,466 RELAX, TONY. HE'S JUST WALKING. 829 00:39:12,533 --> 00:39:15,300 I HEARD THAT BEFORE. 830 00:39:15,366 --> 00:39:17,300 CHECK OUT THE INFANTRY. WHAT A BUMMER JOB. 831 00:39:17,366 --> 00:39:20,000 WORKS MUCH BETTER AT THIS ALTITUDE. 832 00:39:20,066 --> 00:39:21,766 WE SHOULD BACK 'EM UP. 833 00:39:21,833 --> 00:39:23,766 WE? YOU SPEAK FRENCH NOW? 834 00:39:23,833 --> 00:39:26,266 WE'RE COPS, RIGHT? IT'S OUR JOB. 835 00:39:26,333 --> 00:39:29,266 YOU WANT TO WASTE FOUR COPS ON A SINGLE COLLAR? 836 00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:30,366 YOU GOT A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT THIS CITY. 837 00:39:30,433 --> 00:39:31,833 WHAT IS OUR JOB? 838 00:39:31,900 --> 00:39:34,266 OUR JOB? OUR GIG, SO TO SPEAK? 839 00:39:34,333 --> 00:39:36,166 OUR LIFE'S WORK? 840 00:39:36,233 --> 00:39:38,400 MOSTLY WE'RE LIKE SYMBOLS OF AUTHORITY, 841 00:39:38,466 --> 00:39:40,066 LIKE THOSE GUARDS AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE 842 00:39:40,133 --> 00:39:42,033 WITH THE GIANT FUR THINGS ON THEIR HEADS. 843 00:39:42,100 --> 00:39:45,266 OR MAYBE THAT FAT SIXTH-GRADE HALL MONITOR 844 00:39:45,333 --> 00:39:47,133 WHO'D POUND YOU IF YOU SMOKED IN THE CAN. 845 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:48,833 - YOU FOLLOWING ME? - NO. 846 00:39:48,900 --> 00:39:50,600 NO? AOKAY. IN OTHER WORDS, 847 00:39:50,666 --> 00:39:52,800 AS LONG AS OUR PRESENCE IS KNOWN TO THE POPULACE, 848 00:39:52,866 --> 00:39:55,300 IT KEEPS CRIME DOWN. IT'S A SIMPLE CONCEPT. 849 00:39:55,366 --> 00:39:56,700 SOUNDS MORE LIKE SHOW BUSINESS. 850 00:39:56,766 --> 00:39:58,533 YEAH, YEAH, KIND OF. 851 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,333 EXACTLY. SHOW BUSINESS. YEAH. 852 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,233 - SAY, WELLINGTON. - WHAT?! 853 00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:03,733 DON'T GET AN ATTITUDE. 854 00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,066 - I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE. - THAT'S AN ATTITUDE. 855 00:40:06,133 --> 00:40:09,666 - HOW DO YOU KNOW? - YOU'RE LIKE THIS GUY AON MY BOWLING TEAM. 856 00:40:09,733 --> 00:40:11,666 HE GETS AN ATTITUDE WHENEVER HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING, 857 00:40:11,733 --> 00:40:13,366 WHICH IS VERY OFTEN. 858 00:40:13,433 --> 00:40:15,000 YOU'RE SAYING I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING? 859 00:40:15,066 --> 00:40:17,233 DON'T GET PARANOID. LOOK, YOU HUNGRY? 860 00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:18,400 NO. 861 00:40:18,466 --> 00:40:20,466 FORGET ABOUT IT. I'M STARVED. 862 00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:24,733 AMan: THAT'S TWO DOGS. 863 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,066 FOUR DOGS. 864 00:40:26,133 --> 00:40:28,900 I WAS GOING TO SAY FOUR DOGS EVENTUALLY. 865 00:40:28,966 --> 00:40:31,400 I WAS STARTING WITH TWO DOGS. 866 00:40:31,466 --> 00:40:32,900 BOTH WITH MUSTARD, RELISH ONIONS AND CHILI SAUCE. 867 00:40:32,966 --> 00:40:34,400 I WAS JUST CHECKING. 868 00:40:34,466 --> 00:40:35,900 CHECKING I DON'T NEED. 869 00:40:35,966 --> 00:40:37,400 THE OTHER TWO WITH MAYONNAISE. 870 00:40:37,466 --> 00:40:38,900 IS THIS ATTITUDE DAY? 871 00:40:38,966 --> 00:40:40,400 WHO'S SAYING ANYTHING? 872 00:40:40,466 --> 00:40:43,400 YOU PUT MAYONNAISE ON THESE, YOU RUIN THEM. 873 00:40:43,466 --> 00:40:44,966 HE'S FROM OUT OF TOWN. 874 00:40:45,033 --> 00:40:46,133 MY SYMPATHIES. 875 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:47,633 TELL ME ABOUT IT. 876 00:40:52,966 --> 00:40:54,166 $3.00. 877 00:40:54,233 --> 00:40:55,333 WHAT DO YOU MEAN $3.00? 878 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:56,833 FOR THE DOGS. 879 00:40:56,900 --> 00:40:58,333 I DIDN'T WANT THEM. 880 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,300 I ORDERED THEM WITH MAYONNAISE. 881 00:41:00,366 --> 00:41:01,866 WELL, I'M NOT PAYING. 882 00:41:01,933 --> 00:41:04,366 YOU GOTTA. YOU EAT THEM, YOU PAY FOR THEM. 883 00:41:04,433 --> 00:41:06,000 - I'M NOT PAYING. - YOU'RE PAYING FOR 'EM. 884 00:41:06,066 --> 00:41:06,933 - NO! - YEAH! 885 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,766 NO! 886 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,433 ALL RIGHT. 887 00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:14,433 HOW MANY FINGERS I GOT OUT? 888 00:41:14,500 --> 00:41:15,533 FOUR. 889 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,066 BRILLIANT. YOU THROW OUT A COUPLE. 890 00:41:18,133 --> 00:41:19,633 I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. 891 00:41:19,700 --> 00:41:21,133 JUST DO IT. 892 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:25,433 I FINALLY LET GO OF THAT HORSE'S MANE, DIDN'T I? 893 00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:27,000 COME ON, COME ON. 894 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:29,433 ALL RIGHT, NOW, 895 00:41:29,500 --> 00:41:31,766 ALTOGETHER WITH YOUR FINGERS AND MINE, 896 00:41:31,833 --> 00:41:33,766 HOW MANY FINGERS WE GOT? 897 00:41:33,833 --> 00:41:34,933 EIGHT. 898 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,433 OH, YOU'RE A GENIUS. 899 00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:37,933 NOW, EIGHT IS TOMATOES. 900 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:38,966 WHAT? 901 00:41:39,033 --> 00:41:40,133 TOMATOES. 902 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,133 YOU KNOW, LIKE EIGHT GREAT TOMATOES 903 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,066 IN EVERY ITTY BITTY CAN? 904 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,466 LET'S GO-- FOR THE DOGS. 905 00:41:48,533 --> 00:41:50,966 ONLY YOU GOT TO CALL IT FAST 906 00:41:51,033 --> 00:41:53,666 AGAINST THE TOTAL NUMBER OF FINGERS. 907 00:41:53,733 --> 00:41:56,400 HO, CINQUE! 908 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:06,400 MMM, BOOM-BA-BOOM! 909 00:42:07,566 --> 00:42:09,000 WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID? 910 00:42:09,066 --> 00:42:12,033 I THREW 5 FINGERS, THEN I THREW 10. 911 00:42:12,100 --> 00:42:13,266 I WIN. 912 00:42:13,333 --> 00:42:14,400 WHO SAYS? 913 00:42:14,466 --> 00:42:17,433 ME. YOU OWE ME THREE CLAMS FOR LUNCH. 914 00:42:17,500 --> 00:42:19,466 WAIT. LET'S DO IT AGAIN. 915 00:42:19,533 --> 00:42:21,166 WE JUST DID IT. 916 00:42:21,233 --> 00:42:23,600 I WASN'T LOOKING, OK? LET'S GO. 917 00:42:23,666 --> 00:42:25,133 COME ON, LET'S GO. 918 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:26,833 ALL RIGHT. 919 00:42:30,866 --> 00:42:32,300 MINOR LEAGUE! 920 00:42:32,366 --> 00:42:33,466 WHAT'S THAT? 921 00:42:33,533 --> 00:42:34,966 THE BROOKLYN PSYCHE. 922 00:42:35,033 --> 00:42:36,466 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. 923 00:42:36,533 --> 00:42:38,333 - SIX! - PEAS! 924 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,333 YOU OWE ME THREE BUCKS. 925 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,833 WHY? WAIT A MINUTE. 926 00:42:41,900 --> 00:42:43,333 WE WERE BOTH WRONG. 927 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,333 I SAID SIX, AND YOU SAID PEAS, 928 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,366 AND IT WAS SEVEN. 929 00:42:48,433 --> 00:42:52,800 YEAH, DUMMY. SEVEN PEAS TO A POD. I WIN. 930 00:42:54,966 --> 00:42:56,966 GAMBLING'S AGAINST REGULATIONS. 931 00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:01,800 I KNOW THAT, LIEUTENANT. 932 00:43:01,866 --> 00:43:04,800 I WAS SHOWING WELLINGTON ONE OF MANY WAYS 933 00:43:04,866 --> 00:43:07,233 THE UNSUSPECTING VISITOR MIGHT GET HUSTLED 934 00:43:07,300 --> 00:43:08,533 ON THE STREETS OF MANHATTAN. 935 00:43:11,300 --> 00:43:13,333 I WAS. 936 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,200 HOW YOU DOING? 937 00:43:15,266 --> 00:43:16,466 GREAT, SIR. 938 00:43:16,533 --> 00:43:19,466 I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT SIR THING, COWBOY. 939 00:43:19,533 --> 00:43:20,966 YOU'RE STILL ON PROBATION, 940 00:43:21,033 --> 00:43:23,433 SO TRY AND IMPRESS ME, OK? 941 00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:29,033 YEAH, RIGHT HERE, LIEUTENANT. 942 00:43:29,100 --> 00:43:30,566 WHAT'S UP WITH HER? 943 00:43:30,633 --> 00:43:32,566 SHE'S A FRUSTRATED BALLET DANCER. 944 00:43:32,633 --> 00:43:35,066 SHE CAN'T DO "THE NUTCRACKER SUITE," 945 00:43:35,133 --> 00:43:37,566 SO SHE TAKES IT OUT ON US. 946 00:43:37,633 --> 00:43:39,566 SHE'S DOING A GREAT JOB. 947 00:43:39,633 --> 00:43:41,066 SO HOW'S YOUR DOG? 948 00:43:41,133 --> 00:43:43,100 GREAT. GLAD YOU GOT MAYONNAISE. 949 00:43:43,166 --> 00:43:45,833 DON'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD, OK? 950 00:43:45,900 --> 00:43:47,833 AW, JEEZ. 951 00:43:49,366 --> 00:43:51,600 THE MAYONNAISE ADVANTAGE. 952 00:43:51,666 --> 00:43:54,600 OH, YOU'RE A REAL FUNNY GUY, WELLINGTON. 953 00:43:54,666 --> 00:43:56,533 A REGULAR BOB HOPE. 954 00:44:02,633 --> 00:44:05,566 WHY DOES NEW YORK GET SUCH A BAD RAP? 955 00:44:05,633 --> 00:44:07,566 IT'S A NICE ENOUGH TOWN. 956 00:44:07,633 --> 00:44:08,733 ( honks ) 957 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,733 HEY, I'M EATING HERE, HUH? 958 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:12,233 YEAH, THE HORN WORKS. 959 00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:13,733 HOW ABOUT THE DRIVER? 960 00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,733 IT'S LIKE A POST-NUCLEAR WASTE DUMP NOW, 961 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,633 A TEST SITE FOR CRIME OR SOMETHING. 962 00:44:19,700 --> 00:44:21,566 YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE HYPERCRITICAL. 963 00:44:21,633 --> 00:44:23,566 HYPER WHAT? WE GOT SOME MORON 964 00:44:23,633 --> 00:44:26,700 SHOOTS DARTS INTO LADIES' BUTTS. 965 00:44:26,766 --> 00:44:29,033 THERE'S THIS FRUITCAKE KILLING PEOPLE 966 00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,066 WHENEVER THE YANKEES LOSE BY MORE THAN TWO RUNS. 967 00:44:31,133 --> 00:44:33,566 CALLS HIMSELF "THE DESIGNATED KILLER." 968 00:44:33,633 --> 00:44:36,366 SOME LEAD-- HE'S AN AMERICAN LEAGUE FAN. 969 00:44:36,433 --> 00:44:39,366 NOT TO MENTION THE WOMAN THAT SPITS ON PEOPLE 970 00:44:39,433 --> 00:44:42,366 COMING OUT OF MASS AT ST. PAT'S. 971 00:44:42,433 --> 00:44:46,133 SHE CALLS HERSELF THE SPITTING IMAGE OF JOAN OF ARC. 972 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,333 IF IT'S THAT BAD, WHY DON'T YOU MOVE? 973 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,400 WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS? 974 00:44:51,466 --> 00:44:52,900 AND LEAVE NEW YORK? 975 00:44:52,966 --> 00:44:54,400 THIS CITY'S GOT UPS AND DOWNS, 976 00:44:54,466 --> 00:44:56,400 BUT L.A. AIN'T PERFECT, EITHER. 977 00:44:56,466 --> 00:44:58,400 I MEAN, THEY GOT, WHAT, 978 00:44:58,466 --> 00:45:01,233 SURFBOARD KILLERS OUT THERE 979 00:45:01,300 --> 00:45:02,733 AND THE REAGANS. 980 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,233 BESIDES, I LOVE THE FOOD HERE. 981 00:45:05,300 --> 00:45:08,233 ANYWHERE ELSE, THE PASTRAMI TASTES LIKE SPAM. 982 00:45:08,300 --> 00:45:09,733 I HATE PASTRAMI. 983 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,233 HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? 984 00:45:11,300 --> 00:45:14,233 IN MONTANA, THE PASTRAMI IS LIKE CORNED BEEF. 985 00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:16,233 THEY HAVEN'T SEASONED IT YET. 986 00:45:16,300 --> 00:45:19,233 IF THEY'D SEASONED IT, I WOULD'VE HATED IT. 987 00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:20,733 LET'S MAKE THIS EASY-- 988 00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:24,233 YOU ATE THEM DOGS WITH THE MAYONNAISE, RIGHT? HEY. 989 00:45:24,300 --> 00:45:27,066 LOOKS LIKE WE GOT SOME UPS AND DOWNS. 990 00:45:27,133 --> 00:45:28,233 WHERE? 991 00:45:28,300 --> 00:45:29,733 RIGHT OVER THERE. 992 00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:31,033 I DON'T SEE ANYTHING. 993 00:45:31,100 --> 00:45:33,366 ARE YOU BLIND? OVER THERE. 994 00:45:33,433 --> 00:45:34,866 WHAT AM I LOOKING AT? 995 00:45:34,933 --> 00:45:36,366 A CRIME IN PROGRESS. 996 00:45:36,433 --> 00:45:37,866 ARE THESE GUYS CAMOUFLAGED? 997 00:45:37,933 --> 00:45:40,866 YEAH, THE BAD GUYS HIDE BEHIND DUCK BLINDS. 998 00:45:40,933 --> 00:45:43,700 WE SEND IN RETRIEVERS TO FLUSH THEM OUT. 999 00:45:43,766 --> 00:45:45,700 SEE THE GUY IN THE COAT? 1000 00:45:45,766 --> 00:45:47,200 OH, OK. YEAH. 1001 00:45:47,266 --> 00:45:49,400 WHAT'S HE LOOK LIKE TO YOU? 1002 00:45:49,466 --> 00:45:50,800 DIRT BAG. 1003 00:45:50,866 --> 00:45:53,033 GOOD. WHO'S HE TALKING TO? 1004 00:45:53,100 --> 00:45:54,933 ANOTHER GUY. 1005 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,100 BRILLIANT. WHAT KIND OF GUY? 1006 00:45:57,166 --> 00:46:00,200 LOOKS LIKE A STOCKBROKER. HE'S DRESSED NICE. 1007 00:46:00,266 --> 00:46:04,833 WHEN A DIRT BAG TALKS TO A GUY IN A NICE SUIT, 1008 00:46:04,900 --> 00:46:07,000 ATHEY'RE NOT TALKING AABOUT THE KNICKS. CAPISCE? 1009 00:46:07,066 --> 00:46:08,633 WHO'S CAPISCE, THE DIRT BAG? 1010 00:46:08,700 --> 00:46:11,466 THE GUY IN THE COAT'S A DRUG DEALER. 1011 00:46:11,533 --> 00:46:13,466 OH, THE OTHER GUY'S CAPISCE. 1012 00:46:15,300 --> 00:46:17,733 FORGET ABOUT IT. FORGET ABOUT IT. 1013 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:19,233 COME ON, LET'S GO. 1014 00:46:19,300 --> 00:46:20,733 COME ON, STEVE. 1015 00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,233 STEVE. 1016 00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:24,600 WOULD YOU GO, PLEASE? 1017 00:46:24,666 --> 00:46:26,000 COME ON! 1018 00:46:31,466 --> 00:46:32,900 HE'S NOT A GREYHOUND! 1019 00:46:32,966 --> 00:46:35,600 WE DON'T HAVE TO GO THIS FAST! 1020 00:47:00,900 --> 00:47:02,333 ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO. 1021 00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:05,333 MAN, THIS THING'S GOT LIKE ONLY TWO SPEEDS. 1022 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:06,833 COMPLETELY STOPPED IS ONE, 1023 00:47:06,900 --> 00:47:10,000 AND KISS YOUR BUTT GOODBYE IS THE OTHER. 1024 00:47:10,066 --> 00:47:11,633 ( whinnying ) 1025 00:47:11,700 --> 00:47:12,700 WHOA. WHOA. 1026 00:47:22,300 --> 00:47:23,733 OH, THIS IS GREAT. 1027 00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:25,266 JUST STAY COOL. 1028 00:47:25,333 --> 00:47:26,266 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 1029 00:47:26,333 --> 00:47:27,266 SOMETHING'S WRONG! 1030 00:47:27,333 --> 00:47:28,466 ( roar ) 1031 00:47:28,533 --> 00:47:29,666 - WHOA! - ( neighs ) 1032 00:47:31,166 --> 00:47:34,000 HOLY MOLY! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 1033 00:47:34,066 --> 00:47:37,266 A TIGER. WHAT'S A TIGER DOING IN MANHATTAN? 1034 00:47:37,333 --> 00:47:38,833 ABOUT TO HAVE LUNCH. 1035 00:47:38,900 --> 00:47:39,833 LET'S GO. 1036 00:47:39,900 --> 00:47:41,066 FORGET IT. 1037 00:47:41,133 --> 00:47:43,066 THERE'S A LOOSE TIGER. 1038 00:47:43,133 --> 00:47:47,233 CALL THE SPCA. WE GOT ENOUGH TROUBLE WITH DRUG DEALERS. 1039 00:47:47,300 --> 00:47:48,466 COME ON. 1040 00:47:48,533 --> 00:47:49,700 YEAH-- WHOA! 1041 00:47:49,766 --> 00:47:52,266 WHOA! WHOA! COME ON, STEVE. WHOA! 1042 00:47:52,333 --> 00:47:53,766 READ MY FILE, WELLINGTON. 1043 00:47:53,833 --> 00:47:55,266 I DON'T DO TIGERS. 1044 00:47:55,333 --> 00:47:57,833 PSYCHOS AND TIGERS I DON'T DO. 1045 00:48:00,566 --> 00:48:02,433 HALT! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! 1046 00:48:03,500 --> 00:48:04,700 GET DOWN! 1047 00:48:04,766 --> 00:48:05,900 WE'RE POLICE! 1048 00:48:10,866 --> 00:48:12,100 WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS? 1049 00:48:12,166 --> 00:48:13,900 I WAS MAKING AN ARREST! 1050 00:48:13,966 --> 00:48:15,200 THIS AIN'T MONTANA, COWBOY. 1051 00:48:15,266 --> 00:48:16,500 I IDENTIFIED MYSELF. 1052 00:48:16,566 --> 00:48:20,200 THEY GOT A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE LAW HERE. 1053 00:48:21,566 --> 00:48:22,900 COVER ME! 1054 00:48:22,966 --> 00:48:24,066 ( gunshots ) 1055 00:48:26,700 --> 00:48:27,933 NOW WHAT? 1056 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,500 IDENTIFY YOURSELF AGAIN. HE LIKED THAT. 1057 00:48:41,033 --> 00:48:41,966 YOU OK? 1058 00:48:42,033 --> 00:48:43,166 LET'S GO. 1059 00:48:49,466 --> 00:48:51,000 WHAT IS THIS, A CAR POOL NOW? 1060 00:48:51,066 --> 00:48:53,000 THIS ISN'T A GOOD IDEA. 1061 00:48:53,066 --> 00:48:57,233 YOU WANT OUT, OPEN THE DOOR. THERE'S OUT AT 40. 1062 00:48:57,300 --> 00:48:58,600 STOP! POLICE! 1063 00:48:58,666 --> 00:49:00,466 YEAH, THAT WORKS AS GOOD AS LAST TIME. HEY. 1064 00:49:00,533 --> 00:49:02,133 HEY! HEY! 1065 00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,333 ( honks ) 1066 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,166 AAH! 1067 00:49:07,566 --> 00:49:08,733 WHAT IS THIS? 1068 00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:10,966 NEW YORK CITY. LET'S GO. 1069 00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:22,333 ( honks ) 1070 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,666 HEY, PAL, GET OUT OF THE ROAD! 1071 00:49:27,733 --> 00:49:29,933 GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. 1072 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,433 GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. 1073 00:49:31,500 --> 00:49:32,933 COME ON, LOOK OUT! 1074 00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:34,433 LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! 1075 00:49:34,500 --> 00:49:36,000 COME ON, COME ON. 1076 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:42,033 THIS IS OFFICER SPAMPATTA. 1077 00:49:42,100 --> 00:49:46,033 WE GOT A MAN DOWN BY PARK ROAD AND BEEKMAN. 1078 00:49:46,100 --> 00:49:48,466 I NEED BACKUP AND AN AMBULANCE. 1079 00:49:48,533 --> 00:49:50,966 WELL, YOU CAN ARREST HIM NOW. 1080 00:49:51,033 --> 00:49:53,033 HE AIN'T GOING TO HURT ANYBODY. 1081 00:49:59,233 --> 00:50:00,400 Smithers: A TIGER? 1082 00:50:00,466 --> 00:50:01,400 YES, SIR. 1083 00:50:01,466 --> 00:50:02,600 YOU STICKING BY THAT? 1084 00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:03,900 ABSOLUTELY. 1085 00:50:03,966 --> 00:50:06,000 YOU'RE MAKING QUITE AN IMPRESSION, WELLINGTON. 1086 00:50:06,066 --> 00:50:07,000 THANKS, SIR. 1087 00:50:07,066 --> 00:50:09,000 IT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT, ACE. 1088 00:50:09,066 --> 00:50:10,866 HE DOESN'T NEED A RUBDOWN 1089 00:50:10,933 --> 00:50:12,866 FROM THE TEAM CLOWN, SPAMPATTA. 1090 00:50:12,933 --> 00:50:14,300 A TIGER. 1091 00:50:16,466 --> 00:50:18,133 A TIGER. 1092 00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,666 AND HE'S STILL OUT THERE SOMEWHERE TOO, SIR. 1093 00:50:20,733 --> 00:50:22,500 IT WAS A DARK ALLEY. 1094 00:50:22,566 --> 00:50:25,800 COULDN'T YOU HAVE MISTAKEN A LARGE DOG FOR A TIGER? 1095 00:50:25,866 --> 00:50:28,800 A 700-POUND DOG WITH TEETH THE SIZE OF AN EGGPLANT? 1096 00:50:28,866 --> 00:50:30,233 IT HAD STRIPES TOO. 1097 00:50:30,300 --> 00:50:32,233 MAYBE IT WAS A ZEBRA. 1098 00:50:32,300 --> 00:50:33,700 IT WAS A TIGER. 1099 00:50:33,766 --> 00:50:35,233 I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. 1100 00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:37,000 IT WAS A TIGER. 1101 00:50:37,066 --> 00:50:39,100 SHUT UP. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU EITHER. 1102 00:50:39,166 --> 00:50:41,733 THIS ISN'T "CALVIN AND HOBBES." 1103 00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,833 I'M NOT SOME CARTOON KID TALKING ABOUT A FAKE TIGER. 1104 00:50:44,900 --> 00:50:48,566 WELLINGTON WAS ALMOST EATEN BY A REAL TIGER, OK? 1105 00:50:48,633 --> 00:50:50,633 IT WASN'T A STUFFED TIGER. 1106 00:50:50,700 --> 00:50:53,633 IT WASN'T ONE OF THOSE LITTLE GUYS ON SOMEBODY'S CAR WINDOW. 1107 00:50:53,700 --> 00:50:55,233 IT WAS A TIGER. 1108 00:50:55,300 --> 00:50:56,533 COOL IT. 1109 00:50:58,633 --> 00:51:00,866 WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, SPAMPATTA?A 1110 00:51:00,933 --> 00:51:04,800 ARE YOU LOOKING TO RIDE THE PSYCHIATRIC REVIEW BOARD 1111 00:51:04,866 --> 00:51:06,433 RIGHT INTO EARLY RETIREMENT? 1112 00:51:06,500 --> 00:51:09,033 I'M LOOKING TO GET THIS POLICE DEPARTMENT 1113 00:51:09,100 --> 00:51:11,833 ON TIGER PATROL BEFORE PEOPLE START CALLING IN 1114 00:51:11,900 --> 00:51:14,066 WITH LARGE PORTIONS OF THEIR FAMILIES MISSING. 1115 00:51:14,133 --> 00:51:16,633 ( telephone rings ) 1116 00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:17,633 SMITHERS. 1117 00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:18,700 YEAH. 1118 00:51:19,766 --> 00:51:21,800 AH. YES, SIR. 1119 00:51:21,866 --> 00:51:23,300 NO. NO QUESTION-- ABSOLUTELY. 1120 00:51:23,366 --> 00:51:27,800 I GOT A COUPLE OF MY MEN ON IT ALREADY. 1121 00:51:27,866 --> 00:51:29,233 MMM, YES. 1122 00:51:29,300 --> 00:51:31,733 APPARENTLY 700 POUNDS IS ABOUT RIGHT. 1123 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,200 ABSOLUTELY, SIR. THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE WAY TO GO TO ME. 1124 00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,433 YEAH. 1125 00:51:46,266 --> 00:51:50,200 WE HAVE A TIGER ON THE LOOSE IN MANHATTAN, GENTLEMEN. 1126 00:51:50,266 --> 00:51:51,266 ANY THOUGHTS? 1127 00:51:52,666 --> 00:51:55,500 WOULD SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT I LOVE THIS CITY? 1128 00:51:55,566 --> 00:51:57,400 YOU TOLD ME IT WAS THE PASTRAMI. 1129 00:51:57,466 --> 00:52:00,166 OH, OK. BESIDES THE PASTRAMI. 1130 00:52:00,233 --> 00:52:01,733 SOUTH SIDE DIVISION 1131 00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,233 IS COORDINATING WITH THE 16th AND 17th PRECINCTS. 1132 00:52:04,300 --> 00:52:06,100 THEY HAVE A S.W.A.T. TEAM ON MOBILE. 1133 00:52:06,166 --> 00:52:08,900 911'S BEEN FIELDING ABOUT 10 CALLS AN HOUR. 1134 00:52:08,966 --> 00:52:11,100 EVERY NUT IN THE CITY'S BEEN SIGHTING EVERYTHING 1135 00:52:11,166 --> 00:52:13,633 FROM TIGERS TO RHINOS. 1136 00:52:13,700 --> 00:52:16,366 - WHAT HAVE YOU SIGHTED? - NOTHING YET. 1137 00:52:21,066 --> 00:52:22,900 HEADQUARTERS FIGURES THE BEST CHANCE 1138 00:52:22,966 --> 00:52:25,000 IS TO GET A SHOT AT THIS THING BEFORE NIGHT. 1139 00:52:25,066 --> 00:52:27,000 OTHERWISE, ALL UNITS REMAIN IN PLACE TILL MORNING. 1140 00:52:27,066 --> 00:52:29,433 WE WOULDN'T WANT TO MISTAKE THIS CAT FOR SOME... 1141 00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:32,566 RICH, 5th AVENUE DIVORCEE IN A FUR COAT. 1142 00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:36,466 BESIDES, 1143 00:52:36,533 --> 00:52:39,533 RICH DIVORCEES ARE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES. 1144 00:52:42,433 --> 00:52:44,766 VERY QUICK, SIR. 1145 00:52:44,833 --> 00:52:46,800 HE'S MARRIED. I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO HIM LATER. 1146 00:52:46,866 --> 00:52:48,300 SO AM I. 1147 00:52:48,366 --> 00:52:49,633 CONGRATULATIONS. 1148 00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:56,800 WE GOT THE VAN'S LICENSE. 1149 00:52:56,866 --> 00:52:59,566 IT'S JERSEY. WE'RE CHECKING THEIR DMV. 1150 00:52:59,633 --> 00:53:02,133 - THAT'LL TAKE A WHILE. - Tony: HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? 1151 00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:05,700 WE GIVE THEM THE JETS. THEY GIVE US A TIGER. 1152 00:53:05,766 --> 00:53:08,200 - YOU CAN I.D. THEM? - ABSOLUTELY. 1153 00:53:08,266 --> 00:53:11,133 OK. THEY CAN I.D. YOU TOO. BE CAREFUL. 1154 00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:12,666 I'M TOUCHED. 1155 00:53:12,733 --> 00:53:13,800 DON'T BE. I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HORSE. 1156 00:53:13,866 --> 00:53:15,433 TIGERS EAT HORSE MEAT. 1157 00:53:15,500 --> 00:53:18,333 BOY, THAT'S JUST TERRIFIC NEWS, CAPTAIN. THANKS. 1158 00:53:19,833 --> 00:53:20,733 ATorres: Hello? 1159 00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:22,100 IS THIS LIEUTENANT TORRES? 1160 00:53:22,166 --> 00:53:23,100 Who's this? 1161 00:53:23,166 --> 00:53:25,433 THIS IS THE GOOD HORSE FAIRY. 1162 00:53:25,500 --> 00:53:27,600 But when I grow up, I want to be a lion tamer. 1163 00:53:27,666 --> 00:53:29,533 THAT MIGHT TAKE AWHILE. HOW'D YOU GET MY NUMBER? 1164 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,366 LOOKED IT UP. UNDER STONE-HEARTED WOMEN IN THE YELLOW PAGES. 1165 00:53:32,433 --> 00:53:33,666 SOUNDS LIKE A BIG JOB. 1166 00:53:33,733 --> 00:53:35,666 THERE WERE ONLY TWO NAMES-- 1167 00:53:35,733 --> 00:53:37,300 YOURS AND LEONA HELMSLEY'S. 1168 00:53:37,366 --> 00:53:40,033 How about I explain this to you over a bite? 1169 00:53:40,100 --> 00:53:42,600 THERE'S THIS PLACE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD... 1170 00:53:42,666 --> 00:53:45,233 LIFE CAFE. THE FOOD'S GREAT THERE. 1171 00:53:45,300 --> 00:53:47,066 SORRY. I DON'T THINK SO. 1172 00:53:47,133 --> 00:53:49,933 DON'T GET EXCITED. THIS ISN'T A SOCIAL CALL. 1173 00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,200 IT'S POLICE BUSINESS. YOU'RE MY SUPERIOR. 1174 00:53:52,266 --> 00:53:54,133 Meet me in an hour. 1175 00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,533 and try and remember everything you know about tigers. 1176 00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:59,200 SPARKY ANDERSON'S THE BEST MANAGER IN BASEBALL. 1177 00:53:59,266 --> 00:54:01,100 NOT DETROIT TIGERS, DOLL. BENGAL TIGERS. 1178 00:54:01,166 --> 00:54:04,233 THE KIND THAT EAT LITTLE GIRLS LIKE YOU. 1179 00:54:04,300 --> 00:54:05,900 ( dial tone ) 1180 00:54:05,966 --> 00:54:07,133 DOLL? 1181 00:54:20,866 --> 00:54:22,900 YO, JOHNNY. IT'S MICKEY. 1182 00:54:22,966 --> 00:54:24,400 YEAH. IS PAULEY THERE? 1183 00:54:24,466 --> 00:54:26,066 NO. WHAT ABOUT TONY? 1184 00:54:26,133 --> 00:54:28,566 HIM, TOO, HUH? WHAT ABOUT LOUIE? 1185 00:54:28,633 --> 00:54:31,566 WHAT? DID YOU TELL HIM IT WAS ME? 1186 00:54:31,633 --> 00:54:33,066 OH, THAT'S WHY. 1187 00:54:33,133 --> 00:54:34,566 WELL, I DON'T KNOW 1188 00:54:34,633 --> 00:54:38,066 IF I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT THIS, JOHN, BUT-- 1189 00:54:38,133 --> 00:54:40,566 NO. THAT WASN'T-- 1190 00:54:40,633 --> 00:54:42,033 IT WASN'T-- 1191 00:54:42,100 --> 00:54:43,300 HEY, WHAT-- 1192 00:54:43,366 --> 00:54:45,300 COME ON, INSULT YOU GUYS? 1193 00:54:45,366 --> 00:54:48,166 ME? I'M TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU. 1194 00:54:48,233 --> 00:54:50,166 NO, NO, NO. I REMEMBER. 1195 00:54:50,233 --> 00:54:53,566 YEAH, I ALMOST GOT FULL USE OF IT AGAIN. 1196 00:54:53,633 --> 00:54:54,966 THANKS FOR ASKING. 1197 00:54:55,033 --> 00:54:57,366 LOOK, TELL HIM NO HARD FEELINGS. 1198 00:54:57,433 --> 00:55:01,233 IN FACT, THAT'S WHY I'M CALLING YOU GUYS WITH THIS. 1199 00:55:01,300 --> 00:55:02,733 WHAT DO I GOT? 1200 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,733 YOU'RE ASKING ME WHAT I GOT, JOHN? 1201 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:07,166 I GOT A TIGER. 1202 00:55:07,233 --> 00:55:10,533 NO, IT'S NOT DEAD. WHY WOULD HE BE DEAD? 1203 00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:13,033 'CAUSE I'M A DEADBEAT. VERY FUNNY. 1204 00:55:13,100 --> 00:55:14,600 ( dial tone ) 1205 00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:17,833 HE HUNG UP. 1206 00:55:17,900 --> 00:55:21,133 THAT'S THE FIFTH GUY WHO'S HUNG UP ON ME. 1207 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,933 THE MOB DOESN'T DEAL IN CONTRABAND NO MORE? 1208 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,400 IT'S DRUGS AND SHOW BUSINESS NOW? 1209 00:55:26,466 --> 00:55:28,900 SOME MONEY, THEY FORGET THEIR ROOTS, 1210 00:55:28,966 --> 00:55:30,700 MOVIES INSTEAD OF THE VIGORISH. 1211 00:55:30,766 --> 00:55:33,900 - YOU SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT. - HEY, WHO'S AN IDIOT? 1212 00:55:33,966 --> 00:55:36,333 ALL DUE RESPECT, BUT YOU'RE SELLING A TIGER YOU DON'T GOT 1213 00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:38,766 TO SOMEONE WHO DON'T WANT IT. 1214 00:55:38,833 --> 00:55:40,166 I'M TEEING THESE GUYS UP. I'M KEEPING THEM WARM, 1215 00:55:40,233 --> 00:55:42,933 SO WHEN I GET IT, I CAN CLOSE. 1216 00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,233 JUST FORGET ABOUT THIS THING, MICKEY. 1217 00:55:45,300 --> 00:55:47,900 - I CAN'T. - YES, YOU CAN. 1218 00:55:47,966 --> 00:55:49,400 UH, THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE. 1219 00:55:49,466 --> 00:55:50,833 I DON'T KNOW. WHAT? 1220 00:55:50,900 --> 00:55:52,166 UH, LOAN SHARKING. 1221 00:55:52,233 --> 00:55:54,366 I'VE GOT TO SELL THE TIGER. 1222 00:55:54,433 --> 00:55:56,933 FIRST YOU GOTTA GET IT BACK AND YOU WON'T, SO FORGET IT. 1223 00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,266 I CAN'T FORGET. 1224 00:55:58,333 --> 00:56:01,233 I TOOK THE TIGER UNDER THE ARM. 1225 00:56:01,300 --> 00:56:02,300 YOU WHAT? 1226 00:56:02,366 --> 00:56:04,166 I TOOK IT UNDER THE ARM. 1227 00:56:04,233 --> 00:56:06,233 CONSIGNMENT? 1228 00:56:06,300 --> 00:56:09,233 YOU TOOK A FREAKIN' TIGER ON CONSIGNMENT, MICKEY? 1229 00:56:09,300 --> 00:56:12,233 FROM WHO? THE OLD GUY ON MUTUALLY'S OF OMAHA. 1230 00:56:12,300 --> 00:56:15,233 JUST SOME PART-TIME WISE GUY FROM BUFFALO, 1231 00:56:15,300 --> 00:56:18,033 WORKS AT THE ZOO THERE. I MET HIM THROUGH VINNIE'S COUSIN. 1232 00:56:18,100 --> 00:56:20,666 HE GETS AN INSIDE DEAL ON THE ELEPHANT FOOD OR SOMETHING. 1233 00:56:20,733 --> 00:56:22,000 YOU MEET HIM AT CARLA'S WEDDING? 1234 00:56:22,066 --> 00:56:23,000 YEAH. 1235 00:56:23,066 --> 00:56:24,300 I KNOW THE GUY. 1236 00:56:24,366 --> 00:56:25,400 YOU DON'T. 1237 00:56:25,466 --> 00:56:26,733 I THINK I DO. 1238 00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:29,433 YOU DON'T. HE'S FROM BUFFALO. 1239 00:56:29,500 --> 00:56:31,933 ANYWAY, HE WORKS AT THE ZOO. 1240 00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,933 SO WE GET TO TALKING. 1241 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,933 HOW'S THE LIFE-- BLAH BLAH BLAH. 1242 00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,433 THE CONVERSATION GETS 1243 00:56:37,500 --> 00:56:40,566 TO HOW MUCH THESE ANIMALS IS WORTH. 1244 00:56:40,633 --> 00:56:43,500 HE SAYS SOME ARE WORTH MORE THAN HORSES. 1245 00:56:43,566 --> 00:56:44,900 WHAT-- RACE HORSES? 1246 00:56:44,966 --> 00:56:46,466 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1247 00:56:46,533 --> 00:56:50,233 ANYWAY, HE SAYS TIGERS ARE LIKE THE MOST IN VALUELESS-- 1248 00:56:50,300 --> 00:56:52,733 I CHECK IT OUT. HE'S RIGHT. 1249 00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:55,200 "NATIONAL GEOGRAPHICA" SAYS THE BENGAL TIGER 1250 00:56:55,266 --> 00:56:57,333 LIKE THE ONE WE GOT IS LIKE PRICELESS. 1251 00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:01,400 IF IT'S SO PRICELESS, HOW COME YOU CAN'T SELL IT 1252 00:57:01,466 --> 00:57:03,300 OR THIS GUY FROM BUFFALO? 1253 00:57:03,366 --> 00:57:06,300 ONE-- YOU CAN'T SELL A TIGER IN BUFFALO. 1254 00:57:06,366 --> 00:57:08,300 IT ISN'T LIKE INTERNATIONAL ENOUGH. 1255 00:57:08,366 --> 00:57:11,233 AND THE ANSWER TO THE SECOND REASON IS 1256 00:57:11,300 --> 00:57:13,633 THAT NOBODY KNOWS WE GOT IT. 1257 00:57:13,700 --> 00:57:17,500 EXCEPT HIM WHO GAVE ME A DEAL FOR 10 GRAND. 1258 00:57:17,566 --> 00:57:20,900 THERE'S MORE, BUT I THINK IT'S JUST THESE TWO. 1259 00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:26,966 WELL, THE THING TO DO IS TO STAY RELAXED. 1260 00:57:27,033 --> 00:57:28,466 ARE YOU NUTS? 1261 00:57:28,533 --> 00:57:30,766 IF THE GUY WE RAN OVER DIES, 1262 00:57:30,833 --> 00:57:32,766 WE'LL GET CHARGED WITH MURDER. 1263 00:57:32,833 --> 00:57:34,766 THE GUY'S A DRUG DEALER. 1264 00:57:34,833 --> 00:57:37,533 THEY'RE GOING TO NAME A SUBWAY AFTER US. 1265 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:41,000 WE GOT A COP WHO CAN IDENTIFY US. 1266 00:57:41,066 --> 00:57:43,200 A GUY OWES ME A FAVOR. 1267 00:57:43,266 --> 00:57:46,166 - WHO? - YOU. I'LL TELL AYOU SOMETHING 1268 00:57:46,233 --> 00:57:48,633 THAT WILL MAKE YOU A VALUABLE MAN. 1269 00:57:48,700 --> 00:57:51,066 YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT EXPLOSIVES? 1270 00:58:08,300 --> 00:58:10,500 WE GOT A HORSE HERE 1271 00:58:10,566 --> 00:58:11,766 ON 73rd AND 2nd. 1272 00:58:12,833 --> 00:58:16,300 THERE'S NO POLICE DEPARTMENT BRAND HERE. 1273 00:58:16,366 --> 00:58:17,833 MUST BE CIVILIAN. 1274 00:58:17,900 --> 00:58:19,833 SEND OUT THE ANIMAL TRUCK. 1275 00:58:19,900 --> 00:58:21,833 IT'S NOT A COP HORSE. 1276 00:58:21,900 --> 00:58:24,333 SOMEBODY MUST'VE RENTED IT AT THE PARK, 1277 00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,966 GOT HAMMERED, AND LEFT HIM THERE. 1278 00:58:28,533 --> 00:58:30,566 ( whinnies ) 1279 00:58:30,633 --> 00:58:32,066 COME ON, BOY. 1280 00:58:32,133 --> 00:58:33,066 ( whinnies ) 1281 00:58:33,133 --> 00:58:34,566 HEY, HEY, HEY! 1282 00:58:34,633 --> 00:58:36,066 HEY, HORSE, COME BACK. 1283 00:58:36,133 --> 00:58:37,066 HEY, HORSE! 1284 00:58:37,133 --> 00:58:39,066 GET OUT OF THE WAY. 1285 00:58:39,133 --> 00:58:41,033 COME ON, HORSE! WHOA! 1286 00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:45,666 WE CHECK WITH THE BRONX ZOO, THE METROPOLITAN ZOO, 1287 00:58:45,733 --> 00:58:48,466 THE CIRCUS-- EVERYBODY. NOBODY'S MISSING A TIGER. 1288 00:58:48,533 --> 00:58:49,466 WE KNOW. 1289 00:58:49,533 --> 00:58:50,966 NOT LOCALLY, ANYWAY. 1290 00:58:51,033 --> 00:58:53,833 WANT SOME? THE GRAVY'S NOT HALF BAD. 1291 00:58:53,900 --> 00:58:54,900 I SEE. 1292 00:58:54,966 --> 00:58:55,900 LAST CHANCE. 1293 00:58:55,966 --> 00:58:57,400 I'LL RISK IT. 1294 00:58:57,466 --> 00:58:58,666 - SURE? - POSITIVE. 1295 00:58:58,733 --> 00:59:00,300 WELLINGTON, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 1296 00:59:00,366 --> 00:59:02,033 HERE? 1297 00:59:02,100 --> 00:59:03,200 YEAH. 1298 00:59:03,266 --> 00:59:06,466 - EATING. - I KNOW THAT. 1299 00:59:06,533 --> 00:59:08,133 I MEAN, WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 1300 00:59:08,200 --> 00:59:10,133 YOU MEAN, ME AND YOU. 1301 00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:11,533 EXACTLY. 1302 00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,933 WE'RE GOING OVER A CASE. WE'RE PARTNERS. 1303 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:15,433 NO. WE'RE NOT PARTNERS. 1304 00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:17,366 I'M YOUR SUPERVISOR. 1305 00:59:17,433 --> 00:59:19,500 YOU THINK I'M MAKING A RUN AT YOU? 1306 00:59:19,566 --> 00:59:21,566 YEAH. 1307 00:59:21,633 --> 00:59:24,566 THAT'S WHY YOU GOT SO DRESSED UP. 1308 00:59:24,633 --> 00:59:26,866 I DIDN'T GET DRESSED UP. 1309 00:59:26,933 --> 00:59:27,933 RIGHT. 1310 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,033 THIS IS STRICTLY POLICE BUSINESS. 1311 00:59:30,100 --> 00:59:32,866 THEN WHY WEAR YOUR STRING TIE AND STETSON? 1312 00:59:32,933 --> 00:59:35,766 THIS IS THEY WAY I DRESS. 1313 00:59:35,833 --> 00:59:36,966 ALL THE TIME? 1314 00:59:37,033 --> 00:59:40,466 COWBOYS DON'T DO IT WITH THEIR BOOTS ON. 1315 00:59:40,533 --> 00:59:43,733 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PULL OUT A GUITAR, ARE YOU? 1316 00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:47,233 NO. I WANTED TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER 1317 00:59:47,300 --> 00:59:49,866 BECAUSE I'VE NEVER HAD A GAL BOSS BEFORE. 1318 00:59:49,933 --> 00:59:51,400 GAL? 1319 00:59:51,466 --> 00:59:53,900 THAT'S WHAT WE CALL THEM IN MONTANA. 1320 00:59:53,966 --> 00:59:56,166 HERE WE CALL THEM LIEUTENANT. 1321 00:59:56,233 --> 00:59:58,966 RIGHT. WE WENT THROUGH THAT. 1322 00:59:59,033 --> 01:00:00,200 I KNOW. 1323 01:00:00,266 --> 01:00:02,233 - I'LL GET IT. - I'LL GET IT. 1324 01:00:02,300 --> 01:00:04,300 NO. I ASKED YOU. 1325 01:00:04,366 --> 01:00:05,633 I'M YOUR BOSS. 1326 01:00:06,700 --> 01:00:08,800 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, LOOK. 1327 01:00:08,866 --> 01:00:11,000 THROW OUT SOME FINGERS. 1328 01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:12,233 WHAT? 1329 01:00:12,300 --> 01:00:14,666 TRY TO GUESS HOW MANY. 1330 01:00:14,733 --> 01:00:16,666 YOU MEAN ONE MORE? 1331 01:00:16,733 --> 01:00:18,666 RIGHT. YOU READY? COME ON. 1332 01:00:18,733 --> 01:00:19,733 GET SET... 1333 01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:21,466 BOO! BROOKLYN PSYCHE. 1334 01:00:21,533 --> 01:00:22,466 WHOO! 1335 01:00:22,533 --> 01:00:23,933 HA! 1336 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,533 THAT'S RIGHT. 1337 01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:26,533 SORRY. 1338 01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:28,400 WE'LL... DO IT AGAIN. 1339 01:00:28,466 --> 01:00:29,566 OK. 1340 01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:32,733 READY... 1341 01:00:34,466 --> 01:00:36,600 SET... 1342 01:00:37,833 --> 01:00:39,000 - PEAS! - FIVE. 1343 01:00:39,066 --> 01:00:40,833 I WON. 1344 01:00:42,233 --> 01:00:44,866 HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY? 1345 01:00:44,933 --> 01:00:46,933 I'M A NEW YORKER, DUMMY. 1346 01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:49,900 YEAH. 1347 01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:56,533 HEY, UH, YOU OFFICER WELLINGTON? 1348 01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:57,633 YEAH. 1349 01:00:57,700 --> 01:01:00,533 YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOUR HORSE. 1350 01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:03,500 HE WENT ON A LITTLE SHOPPING SPREE. 1351 01:01:03,566 --> 01:01:04,500 AAH! 1352 01:01:04,566 --> 01:01:05,500 OH! 1353 01:01:05,566 --> 01:01:07,000 AAH! 1354 01:01:12,266 --> 01:01:13,266 AAH! 1355 01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:25,366 ( whispers ) HONEY. 1356 01:01:25,433 --> 01:01:28,333 - HONEY. HONEY! - WHAT? 1357 01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:29,800 - THERE'S A HORSE HERE. - THAT'S NICE. 1358 01:01:29,866 --> 01:01:31,233 IN THE STORE. 1359 01:01:31,300 --> 01:01:34,933 MUST BE SOME KIND OF SALES PROMOTION. RELAX. 1360 01:01:40,500 --> 01:01:41,500 WHAT? 1361 01:01:42,733 --> 01:01:44,600 LOOK OUT! WHERE IS HE? 1362 01:01:44,666 --> 01:01:46,100 THE DESIGNER SALON. 1363 01:01:46,166 --> 01:01:48,466 - THE WHAT? - WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR. 1364 01:01:48,533 --> 01:01:50,100 NICE HORSEY. 1365 01:01:50,166 --> 01:01:51,933 ( whinnies ) 1366 01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:53,166 ( whinnies ) 1367 01:01:55,133 --> 01:01:57,966 COME ON, MR. ED, GIVE ME A BREAK. 1368 01:01:58,033 --> 01:01:59,266 HEY, MISTER! 1369 01:01:59,333 --> 01:02:00,300 HELP ME! 1370 01:02:00,366 --> 01:02:02,333 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. EASY, BLAZE. 1371 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:03,333 EASY. EASY. 1372 01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:04,966 EASY, NOW. EASY. 1373 01:02:05,033 --> 01:02:07,066 HE'S GOT RABIES OR SOMETHING. HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME. 1374 01:02:07,133 --> 01:02:08,733 NO, HE'S NOT. 1375 01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:11,966 I LIVE IN NEW YORK. I KNOW WHEN SOMEONE'S TRYING TO KILL ME. 1376 01:02:12,033 --> 01:02:15,900 BLAZE HERE THINKS YOU'RE A BABY CALF HE'S CUTTING OUT OF THE HERD. 1377 01:02:15,966 --> 01:02:16,900 WHY? 1378 01:02:16,966 --> 01:02:18,200 HE WANTS TO BRAND YOU. 1379 01:02:18,266 --> 01:02:19,566 OH. 1380 01:02:19,633 --> 01:02:21,133 ( whinnies ) 1381 01:02:22,233 --> 01:02:24,033 YES. DON'T GET TOO EXCITED. 1382 01:02:24,100 --> 01:02:25,500 HE LIKES GIRL HORSES. 1383 01:02:25,566 --> 01:02:28,533 HE LOOKS STUNNING IN LACE. IT'S ON SALE. 1384 01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:30,200 THERE WE GO. 1385 01:02:34,233 --> 01:02:36,200 HAPPY TRAILS, MA'AM. 1386 01:02:36,266 --> 01:02:37,733 OY. 1387 01:02:46,166 --> 01:02:47,600 Woman: RIDE 'EM, COWBOY. 1388 01:02:47,666 --> 01:02:51,600 I THINK THIS'LL LOOK A LITTLE BIT BETTER ON YOU. 1389 01:02:51,666 --> 01:02:53,566 OH, THAT'S SWEET. 1390 01:02:53,633 --> 01:02:55,200 HOW ABOUT A LIFT HOME, LIEUTENANT? 1391 01:02:55,266 --> 01:02:56,900 I DON'T THINK SO. 1392 01:02:56,966 --> 01:02:59,700 WE COULD ALWAYS GO TO "THE NUTCRACKER." I HEAR YOU LOVE BALLET. 1393 01:02:59,766 --> 01:03:02,033 I'VE NEVER BEEN TO THE BALLET IN MY WHOLE LIFE... 1394 01:03:03,533 --> 01:03:06,033 BUT I'LL BUY YOU A BEER. 1395 01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:11,333 ALL RIGHT. 1396 01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:12,900 ( applause ) 1397 01:03:16,233 --> 01:03:18,233 Woman: YEAH, GET ALONG. 1398 01:03:25,233 --> 01:03:28,233 THANKS A LOT FOR SHOPPING WITH US TODAY. 1399 01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:35,100 MY GOD. I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. 1400 01:03:35,166 --> 01:03:38,100 MAYBE THEY WON'T KNOW IT'S YOUR FATHER. 1401 01:03:38,166 --> 01:03:39,600 HERE'S OUR ADDRESS. THEY THINK HE'S A HERO. 1402 01:03:39,666 --> 01:03:41,300 HE IS. 1403 01:03:41,366 --> 01:03:44,933 "TONY THE TIGER TURNS MANHATTAN INTO A ZOO"? 1404 01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,933 HE'S ON SOME STUPID HORSE. 1405 01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:48,933 THE KIDS AT SCHOOL ARE GONNA HARASS ME. 1406 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,400 WHO'S GOING TO HARASS WHO? 1407 01:03:50,466 --> 01:03:53,433 THE WHOLE WORLD. YOUR PICTURE'S IN THE PAPER. 1408 01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:54,933 YEAH. NOT BAD, HUH? 1409 01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,200 NOT BAD? I HAVE TO LIVE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD. 1410 01:03:57,266 --> 01:04:00,766 - IT'S HUMILIATING. - NO. HUMILIATING IS AME IN THE PAPER 1411 01:04:00,833 --> 01:04:02,833 FOR MURDERING MY SMART-MOUTH DAUGHTER. 1412 01:04:02,900 --> 01:04:04,833 - THAT'S HUMILIATING. - YOU TWO CUT IT OUT. 1413 01:04:04,900 --> 01:04:07,666 IF I WAS A ROCK STAR, MY PICTURE WOULD BE EVERYWHERE. 1414 01:04:07,733 --> 01:04:10,566 IF YOU WERE A ROCK STAR, THE WORLD WOULD BE DEAF. 1415 01:04:10,633 --> 01:04:13,166 I'M CHECKING THE CLOSETS! 1416 01:04:13,233 --> 01:04:15,633 ANYTHING ABOVE YOUR KNEES, I USE TO WASH THE CAR! 1417 01:04:15,700 --> 01:04:17,400 - LEAVE HER ALONE. - "LEAVE HER ALONE"? 1418 01:04:17,466 --> 01:04:20,266 WHATEVER HAPPENED TO, "HEY, POP, YOUR PICTURE'S IN THE PAPER. 1419 01:04:20,333 --> 01:04:22,000 CONGRATULATIONS." 1420 01:04:22,066 --> 01:04:25,000 HEY, POP, YOUR PICTURE'S IN THE PAPER. 1421 01:04:25,066 --> 01:04:26,700 CONGRATULATIONS. 1422 01:04:30,166 --> 01:04:32,600 YOU KNOW, I LOVE THIS FAMILY. 1423 01:04:32,666 --> 01:04:34,600 TONY, ARE YOU IN DANGER? 1424 01:04:34,666 --> 01:04:37,800 I DON'T LIKE THEY HAVEN'T CAUGHT THESE GUYS. 1425 01:04:37,866 --> 01:04:40,800 YOU THINK I'D LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO ME? 1426 01:04:40,866 --> 01:04:43,866 WHO WOULD YOU EAT BREAKFAST WITH? COME HERE. 1427 01:04:45,733 --> 01:04:47,166 HEY, I'M ONLY 13. 1428 01:04:47,233 --> 01:04:50,233 WOULD YOU MIND NOT EXPOSING ME TO THIS? 1429 01:04:53,733 --> 01:04:56,166 YOU SURE THESE ARE OUR KIDS? 1430 01:04:56,233 --> 01:04:57,233 UH-UH. 1431 01:05:03,966 --> 01:05:05,966 ( humming ) 1432 01:05:14,066 --> 01:05:15,400 ( chuckles ) 1433 01:05:15,466 --> 01:05:18,300 ( hums ) 1434 01:05:20,300 --> 01:05:22,233 ( engine struggling ) 1435 01:05:22,300 --> 01:05:23,733 COME ON, BABY. 1436 01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,000 ( engine backfires ) 1437 01:05:25,066 --> 01:05:27,900 COME ON, SWEETHEART. COME ON, ONE MORE TIME. 1438 01:05:27,966 --> 01:05:30,400 COME ON. YOU CAN DO IT. 1439 01:05:30,466 --> 01:05:31,900 COME ON. THAT'S IT. 1440 01:05:31,966 --> 01:05:34,900 A LITTLE MORE. GET THERE, BABY. COME ON. 1441 01:05:34,966 --> 01:05:36,400 OOH, YEAH. COME ON. 1442 01:05:36,466 --> 01:05:37,900 YEAH, YEAH. THAT'S IT. 1443 01:05:37,966 --> 01:05:39,900 THAT'S IT, BABY! COME ON! 1444 01:05:39,966 --> 01:05:42,400 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! OOH, YEAH, BABY! 1445 01:05:42,466 --> 01:05:44,300 COME ON, YEAH! GO, BABY! 1446 01:05:44,366 --> 01:05:45,366 GO! GO! 1447 01:05:49,233 --> 01:05:52,166 GOOD GOD, TONY, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? 1448 01:05:52,233 --> 01:05:54,733 ( coughing ) 1449 01:05:56,066 --> 01:05:59,400 I DON'T KNOW... BUT I MIGHT BE PREGNANT. 1450 01:06:12,066 --> 01:06:15,666 Man: THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING TO UPSTATE VERMONT. 1451 01:06:15,733 --> 01:06:17,866 - Woman: JAMES, TOO? - YEAH. 1452 01:06:36,133 --> 01:06:38,500 AAH! HEY, HE STOLE MY NECKLACE! 1453 01:06:38,566 --> 01:06:40,000 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1454 01:06:40,066 --> 01:06:42,000 HE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! 1455 01:06:42,066 --> 01:06:43,566 SOMEBODY CALL THE COPS. 1456 01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:59,000 THIS WAY! 1457 01:07:24,566 --> 01:07:25,566 KEEP GOING! 1458 01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:33,133 OH, NO! 1459 01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:34,666 ( roars ) 1460 01:07:35,666 --> 01:07:38,333 NO! STAY! HEY! 1461 01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:40,800 AAH! AAH! AAH! 1462 01:07:44,666 --> 01:07:46,166 AAH! 1463 01:07:53,866 --> 01:07:55,300 I'M HERE. I'M SORRY. 1464 01:07:55,366 --> 01:07:57,800 SOME BANANA TOOK A BUS HOSTAGE 1465 01:07:57,866 --> 01:07:59,300 IN THE HOLLAND TUNNEL. 1466 01:07:59,366 --> 01:08:01,366 TRAFFIC'S BACKED UP TO JERSEY. 1467 01:08:01,433 --> 01:08:03,366 HERE'S YOUR COPY. LET'S GO. 1468 01:08:03,433 --> 01:08:05,066 ( siren wailing ) 1469 01:08:09,066 --> 01:08:10,166 GO. 1470 01:08:10,233 --> 01:08:13,000 THIS IS HOLLY HARTLEY IN CENTRAL PARK. 1471 01:08:13,066 --> 01:08:16,000 A WOMAN JOGGER'S JUST BEEN ROBBED BY A MAN 1472 01:08:16,066 --> 01:08:19,000 WHO WAS REPORTEDLY JUST ATTACKED BY A TIGER. 1473 01:08:19,066 --> 01:08:20,500 A TIGER? IS THIS A JOKE? 1474 01:08:20,566 --> 01:08:23,000 READ THE COPY, WOULD YOU, PLEASE? 1475 01:08:23,066 --> 01:08:24,500 LET'S DO IT AGAIN. 1476 01:08:24,566 --> 01:08:27,000 THIS BETTER NOT BE A JOKE. 1477 01:08:27,066 --> 01:08:28,166 AND...GO. 1478 01:08:28,233 --> 01:08:30,500 THIS IS HOLLY HARTLEY IN CENTRAL PARK. 1479 01:08:30,566 --> 01:08:34,000 A woman jogger's just been robbed by a man 1480 01:08:34,066 --> 01:08:37,000 who was reportedly just attacked by a tiger. 1481 01:08:37,066 --> 01:08:39,933 Thanks, Holly. Stay with us. We'll be back. 1482 01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:42,933 THERE IT IS, NICK. CENTRAL PARK. LET'S GO. 1483 01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:44,433 LET'S NOT DO THIS. 1484 01:08:44,500 --> 01:08:48,666 THEN FRONT ME THE 10 MARKS FOR THE FREAKING CAT. 1485 01:08:53,500 --> 01:08:55,533 ARE YOU SURE THAT'S HIM? 1486 01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:58,633 HE WAS LIKE AN INCH AWAY. I'M POSITIVE. 1487 01:08:58,700 --> 01:09:00,200 ARE YOU COMING DOWN? 1488 01:09:00,266 --> 01:09:01,800 NO WAY, MAN. 1489 01:09:01,866 --> 01:09:04,300 UP TO YOU, PAL. YOU ARE UNDER ARREST. 1490 01:09:04,366 --> 01:09:06,500 YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT. 1491 01:09:06,566 --> 01:09:09,500 ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU 1492 01:09:09,566 --> 01:09:11,500 IN A COURT OF LAW. 1493 01:09:11,566 --> 01:09:14,000 All: IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD AN ATTORNEY, 1494 01:09:14,066 --> 01:09:16,000 ONE WILL BE APPOINTED TO YOU. 1495 01:09:16,066 --> 01:09:18,000 DO YOU UNDERSTAND THESE RIGHTS? 1496 01:09:18,066 --> 01:09:19,333 YEAH, YEAH. 1497 01:09:19,399 --> 01:09:22,333 OK, OK. NOW, JUST TAKE IT EASY. 1498 01:09:22,399 --> 01:09:25,833 THE TIGER'S LEFT. IT'S SAFE FOR YOU TO COME DOWN. 1499 01:09:25,899 --> 01:09:29,133 AYEAH, YOU SAY IT'S SAFE! ANOTHING JUST ATE YOUR PANTS OFF! 1500 01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:31,633 WE HAVE SHARPSHOOTERS SCANNING THE AREA. 1501 01:09:31,700 --> 01:09:33,366 YOU'LL BE JUST FINE. 1502 01:09:33,433 --> 01:09:37,033 I AIN'T COMING DOWN TILL THAT PUSSYCAT'S IN A CAGE. 1503 01:09:37,100 --> 01:09:40,433 HEY! WHY NOT JUST LET THE TIGER EAT HIM? 1504 01:09:40,500 --> 01:09:42,500 All: YEAH! 1505 01:09:42,566 --> 01:09:44,000 IF I'M UNDER ARREST, 1506 01:09:44,066 --> 01:09:46,233 IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT ME. 1507 01:09:46,300 --> 01:09:48,533 OK, OK. YOU'RE PROTECTED. 1508 01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:50,300 I GET EATEN, I'M SUING! 1509 01:09:50,366 --> 01:09:53,266 ( all booing ) 1510 01:09:56,566 --> 01:09:58,500 ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK? 1511 01:09:58,566 --> 01:10:01,333 I'M GREAT, NO KIDDING. THIS IS SOME DAY! 1512 01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:02,766 FIRST I'M BLOWN UP, 1513 01:10:02,833 --> 01:10:04,666 NOW WE'RE AFTER THIS TIGER 1514 01:10:04,733 --> 01:10:07,400 THAT'S BEEN LUNCHING ON MUGGERS? WHY US? 1515 01:10:07,466 --> 01:10:10,966 BECAUSE IT'S EASIER TO FIND A TIGER ON HORSEBACK. 1516 01:10:11,033 --> 01:10:12,800 I THOUGHT TIGERS EAT HORSES. 1517 01:10:12,866 --> 01:10:14,300 THAT'S WHY IT'S EASIER. 1518 01:10:14,366 --> 01:10:17,700 HEY, WELLINGTON, INSTEAD OF THIS, FOR OUR NEXT ACT, 1519 01:10:17,766 --> 01:10:19,666 LET'S LIGHT OURSELVES ON FIRE. 1520 01:10:19,733 --> 01:10:21,266 I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 1521 01:10:31,066 --> 01:10:33,500 STAY TOGETHER. KEEP IT UP. 1522 01:10:33,566 --> 01:10:36,000 KEEP IT UP. COME ON, OFFICER. 1523 01:10:36,066 --> 01:10:38,500 WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO DEMONSTRATE. 1524 01:10:41,500 --> 01:10:45,433 15 MINUTES, THE S.W.A.T TEAM'S MOVING IN ON THAT TIGER. 1525 01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:49,433 WE HAVE TO KEEP THESE ANIMAL RIGHTS GUYS OFF OUR BACK. 1526 01:10:49,500 --> 01:10:51,466 WE CAN'T KILL HIM. 1527 01:10:51,533 --> 01:10:53,433 THIS ISN'T "BORN FREE," ATORRES. 1528 01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,700 THESE LIVE NEWSCASTS ARE DRAWING PEOPLE 1529 01:10:55,766 --> 01:10:57,766 LIKE FLIES TO A PUKE PARTY. 1530 01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:02,000 THAT'S IT! COME ON! 1531 01:11:02,066 --> 01:11:03,566 KEEP MOVING BACK! 1532 01:11:05,066 --> 01:11:06,500 WHAT'S THE PLAN? 1533 01:11:06,566 --> 01:11:09,000 WE GOT IT COVERED HERE, WELLINGTON. 1534 01:11:09,066 --> 01:11:12,766 YOU AND SPAMPATTA GO JOIN THE REST OF OUR UNIT. 1535 01:11:12,833 --> 01:11:14,266 THAT'S MY FIRST BREAK. 1536 01:11:14,333 --> 01:11:16,000 YOU HUNTED MUCH, CAPTAIN? 1537 01:11:17,066 --> 01:11:19,633 WHITE-TAILED DEER, WELLINGTON. EVERY OCTOBER. 1538 01:11:19,700 --> 01:11:22,866 BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WHITE-TAILED DEER AND A BENGAL TIGER. 1539 01:11:22,933 --> 01:11:26,900 COOL IT, WELLINGTON. HE'S THE BOSS. 1540 01:11:27,900 --> 01:11:29,333 PREY IS PREY, WELLINGTON. 1541 01:11:29,400 --> 01:11:32,200 AND THAT TIGER HEAD'S GOING TO LOOK GOOD 1542 01:11:32,266 --> 01:11:33,700 HANGING OVER MY DESK. 1543 01:11:33,766 --> 01:11:35,700 NOT WHEN HE WAKES UP. 1544 01:11:35,766 --> 01:11:37,400 THAT'S A TRANQUILIZER GUN. 1545 01:11:39,500 --> 01:11:42,433 NO. THIS IS WHAT'S KEEPING THE ANIMAL ACTIVISTS 1546 01:11:42,500 --> 01:11:44,000 OUT OF MY FACE. 1547 01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:46,433 BUT IN 15 MINUTES, 1548 01:11:46,500 --> 01:11:48,500 ALL THAT'S GOING TO CHANGE. 1549 01:11:49,666 --> 01:11:51,600 CAPTAIN, DON'T GET ME WRONG, 1550 01:11:51,666 --> 01:11:54,533 BUT BIG CATS LIKE TO FEED ON LIVE PREY. 1551 01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:57,233 THEY ENJOY CHEWING ON STUFF THAT'S STILL MOVING. 1552 01:11:57,300 --> 01:11:58,966 - THAT SO? - YEAH. 1553 01:11:59,033 --> 01:12:00,866 SOMETHING ABOUT THE TASTE OF WARM BLOOD. 1554 01:12:00,933 --> 01:12:03,833 BUT WHITE-TAILED DEER CAN BE DANGEROUS TOO. 1555 01:12:03,900 --> 01:12:07,000 HIT ONE AT NIGHT, AND SMASH YOUR HEADLIGHTS. 1556 01:12:07,066 --> 01:12:10,300 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HUNTING CATS? 1557 01:12:10,366 --> 01:12:13,866 I HUNTED MOUNTAIN LIONS IN MONTANA ON OUR RANCH. 1558 01:12:13,933 --> 01:12:15,433 THIS IS GREAT. GREAT. 1559 01:12:15,500 --> 01:12:17,100 - THAT SO? - YEAH. 1560 01:12:17,166 --> 01:12:20,466 USED TO EAT THE LIVESTOCK UP LIKE CHOCOLATES. 1561 01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:26,733 RIGHT. OK, WELLINGTON. 1562 01:12:30,066 --> 01:12:31,800 YOU GOT 15 MINUTES. 1563 01:12:31,866 --> 01:12:33,233 THEN IT'S MY TURN. 1564 01:12:33,300 --> 01:12:34,333 I'M GOING. 1565 01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:36,800 AFRAID NOT, MISSY. I'M GOING ALONE. 1566 01:12:38,500 --> 01:12:39,533 MISSY? 1567 01:12:39,600 --> 01:12:41,366 CHOCOLATES. 1568 01:12:45,333 --> 01:12:46,666 HEY, BWANA. 1569 01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:52,933 I THINK THE TIGER WENT THAT WAY. 1570 01:12:53,000 --> 01:12:54,466 I KNEW THAT. 1571 01:12:54,533 --> 01:12:57,866 YEAH? THEN HOW COME YOU'RE HEADING TOWARD THE PLAZA? 1572 01:13:01,566 --> 01:13:03,000 I'M GOING WITH YOU. 1573 01:13:03,066 --> 01:13:05,533 WAIT. I CAN DO THIS ALONE. 1574 01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:08,000 YOU GO IN CENTRAL PARK ALONE, 1575 01:13:08,066 --> 01:13:10,500 THEY'LL FIND YOU IN TWO WEEKS 1576 01:13:10,566 --> 01:13:13,866 WITH NO SHOES ON AND A CUP IN YOUR HAND. 1577 01:13:13,933 --> 01:13:16,433 ANYWAY, YOU NEED THE BAIT, RIGHT? 1578 01:13:26,233 --> 01:13:27,733 GO GET HIM! 1579 01:15:01,933 --> 01:15:03,366 WHAT IS IT? 1580 01:15:03,433 --> 01:15:04,900 IT'S NOT GOOD. 1581 01:15:04,966 --> 01:15:06,500 OH, GREAT. WHAT? 1582 01:15:06,566 --> 01:15:09,166 SHH! IS THERE A PUBLIC JOHN AROUND? 1583 01:15:09,233 --> 01:15:11,300 YEAH. OVER THERE. 1584 01:15:11,366 --> 01:15:15,066 TELL THEM THEY GOT A BUSTED SEWER PIPE LEAKING. YUCK. 1585 01:15:17,933 --> 01:15:20,566 DID MOUNTAIN LIONS REALLY USED TO EAT 1586 01:15:20,633 --> 01:15:22,066 YOUR GRANDFATHER'S LIVESTOCK? 1587 01:15:22,133 --> 01:15:24,800 HOW SHOULD I KNOW? HE WORKED FOR A BANK. 1588 01:15:24,866 --> 01:15:28,066 - WHAT ABOUT HIS RANCH? - I WAS LYING. 1589 01:15:28,133 --> 01:15:30,200 - YOU WERE LYING? - YEAH. 1590 01:15:30,266 --> 01:15:32,066 THIS IS FUN, ISN'T IT? 1591 01:15:32,133 --> 01:15:34,866 NO, THIS ISN'T FUN. THIS IS DUMB. 1592 01:15:34,933 --> 01:15:37,166 YOU WERE LYING. 1593 01:15:54,733 --> 01:15:56,100 ( growls ) 1594 01:16:07,566 --> 01:16:10,566 SO HOW MUCH TIME WE GOT LEFT? 1595 01:16:12,233 --> 01:16:14,766 NOT ENOUGH. 1596 01:16:24,633 --> 01:16:26,633 WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU MISS 1597 01:16:26,700 --> 01:16:29,133 AND HE RUNS AT US? 1598 01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:31,900 FIRST, I'D TAKE OFF MY BOOTS TO RUN BETTER. 1599 01:16:31,966 --> 01:16:35,300 SMART GUY, YOU THINK YOU'LL OUTRUN A TIGER? 1600 01:16:35,366 --> 01:16:37,833 I DON'T HAVE TO. I JUST HAVE TO OUTRUN YOU. 1601 01:16:37,900 --> 01:16:39,566 THAT'S A JOKE, RIGHT? 1602 01:16:39,633 --> 01:16:42,200 GOOD, 'CAUSE WHILE YOU'RE RUNNING, I'LL BLOW HIS BRAINS OUT. 1603 01:16:42,266 --> 01:16:45,200 TONY, HE'S AN ENDANGERED SPECIES. 1604 01:16:45,266 --> 01:16:46,466 WHEN HE'S RUNNING AT ME, 1605 01:16:46,533 --> 01:16:48,400 I'M THE ENDANGERED SPECIES, OK? 1606 01:16:53,366 --> 01:16:55,866 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS NOW? 1607 01:16:58,866 --> 01:17:01,366 ISN'T THAT THE VAN THAT TRIED TO RUN US DOWN THE OTHER DAY? 1608 01:17:01,433 --> 01:17:02,433 YEAH. 1609 01:17:13,800 --> 01:17:14,733 HURRY, MICKEY. 1610 01:17:14,800 --> 01:17:15,733 ( growls ) 1611 01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:16,733 EASY, EASY. 1612 01:17:16,800 --> 01:17:20,000 ALL RIGHT. THAT'S A GIRL. 1613 01:17:21,500 --> 01:17:23,200 RUN INTO THE VAN. MAKE HIM CHASE YOU. 1614 01:17:23,266 --> 01:17:24,600 MAKE HIM CHASE YOU, NICKY! 1615 01:17:24,666 --> 01:17:26,033 MAKE HIM CHASE YOU. 1616 01:17:26,100 --> 01:17:27,566 I DON'T WANT IT! 1617 01:17:27,633 --> 01:17:29,066 MAKE HIM CHASE YOU. 1618 01:17:29,133 --> 01:17:30,366 MAKE HIM CHASE YOU. 1619 01:17:30,433 --> 01:17:32,133 GO INTO THE VAN NOW! 1620 01:17:32,200 --> 01:17:33,633 WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING? 1621 01:17:33,700 --> 01:17:35,433 FORGET THAT. HOW DO THEY KEEP SCORE? 1622 01:17:35,500 --> 01:17:38,233 - RUN INTO THE VAN. AMAKE HIM CHASE YOU. - MAKE HIM CHASE YOU! 1623 01:17:38,300 --> 01:17:39,766 Mickey: KEEP IT DOWN. 1624 01:17:39,833 --> 01:17:41,766 - MAKE HIM CHASE YOU. - I DON'T WANT TO. 1625 01:17:41,833 --> 01:17:44,366 NICK, GET IN THE VAN. 1626 01:17:44,433 --> 01:17:46,533 PUT THAT THING AWAY BEFORE YOU SHOOT YOURSELF 1627 01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:48,300 IN THE FOOT AND GO TO SLEEP FOR TWO MONTHS. 1628 01:17:48,366 --> 01:17:50,366 - Mickey: DON'T PLAY AROUND. - I DON'T WANNA, MICKEY! 1629 01:17:50,433 --> 01:17:51,566 - GO IN THE VAN! - I DON'T WANT IT! 1630 01:17:51,633 --> 01:17:53,233 GET IN THE VAN! 1631 01:17:57,966 --> 01:17:58,900 ( clothes ripping ) 1632 01:17:58,966 --> 01:18:00,300 AAH! 1633 01:18:01,400 --> 01:18:04,033 ( roars ) 1634 01:18:04,100 --> 01:18:08,266 GREAT PLAN, MICKEY. GREAT PLAN. 1635 01:18:10,566 --> 01:18:12,000 LET'S GO, STEVE. 1636 01:18:12,066 --> 01:18:13,500 COME ON, STEVE. 1637 01:18:13,566 --> 01:18:15,366 COME ON, STEVE. 1638 01:18:22,466 --> 01:18:25,200 WHOA! 1639 01:18:28,033 --> 01:18:29,766 TONY, WOULD YOU HURRY UP AND GET OUT OF THERE 1640 01:18:29,833 --> 01:18:31,266 AND STOP MESSING AROUND? 1641 01:18:31,333 --> 01:18:33,266 WE GOT TO CATCH THESE GUYS. 1642 01:18:33,333 --> 01:18:35,000 I DID IT ON PURPOSE, WELLINGTON. 1643 01:18:35,066 --> 01:18:36,933 IT WAS A FULL-HORSE GAINER. 1644 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:38,433 YOU OK? 1645 01:18:38,500 --> 01:18:40,933 YEAH, I'M BEAUTIFUL. 1646 01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:44,533 COME ON, COME ON, QUIT SCREWING AROUND. LET'S GO! 1647 01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:14,966 WHO ARE THESE GUYS? 1648 01:19:27,933 --> 01:19:30,066 THEY'RE STILL THERE! 1649 01:19:30,133 --> 01:19:32,333 I CAN SEE, I CAN SEE! 1650 01:19:43,000 --> 01:19:45,933 ( horn honks ) 1651 01:20:10,166 --> 01:20:12,733 ( whinnies ) 1652 01:20:14,266 --> 01:20:17,433 OH, MAN, WE LOST THEM! 1653 01:20:17,500 --> 01:20:20,066 THANK GOD. I'M CARSICK. 1654 01:20:20,133 --> 01:20:21,666 YOU CAN'T GET CARSICK ON A HORSE. 1655 01:20:21,733 --> 01:20:24,033 OK. HOOF AND MOUTH, WHATEVER. 1656 01:20:24,100 --> 01:20:25,100 LET'S GO. 1657 01:20:25,166 --> 01:20:27,066 LET'S WAIT FOR SOME BACKUP. 1658 01:20:27,133 --> 01:20:29,200 YOU WAIT FOR SOME BACKUP. 1659 01:20:29,266 --> 01:20:31,200 YOU'RE A REAL WISE GUY, WELLINGTON. 1660 01:20:31,266 --> 01:20:34,066 EVER THINK THAT A PARTNERSHIP IS A DEMOCRACY? 1661 01:20:34,133 --> 01:20:35,066 DID YOU? 1662 01:20:35,133 --> 01:20:36,533 COME ON. 1663 01:20:36,600 --> 01:20:40,566 HEY, HEY, WELLINGTON. OH... 1664 01:20:41,566 --> 01:20:43,500 ALL RIGHT, COME ON, BABY. 1665 01:20:43,566 --> 01:20:44,500 THAT'S IT. 1666 01:20:44,566 --> 01:20:46,000 HOLD ON, BABY. 1667 01:20:46,066 --> 01:20:48,000 THAT'S IT. THERE WE GO. 1668 01:20:48,066 --> 01:20:49,000 ( roars ) 1669 01:20:49,066 --> 01:20:50,833 YO! YO! 1670 01:20:50,900 --> 01:20:53,033 ( roars ) 1671 01:20:54,066 --> 01:20:56,600 WHOA, WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 1672 01:20:56,666 --> 01:20:57,966 IN THERE. 1673 01:20:58,033 --> 01:20:59,033 YEAH, YEAH. 1674 01:21:20,233 --> 01:21:22,233 ( growls ) 1675 01:21:27,266 --> 01:21:28,666 ( whinnies ) 1676 01:21:28,733 --> 01:21:30,766 AW, NO. 1677 01:21:31,800 --> 01:21:33,000 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 1678 01:21:33,066 --> 01:21:34,933 WHOA! EASY, EASY! 1679 01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:36,533 EASY, EASY! 1680 01:21:36,600 --> 01:21:38,033 MAN! 1681 01:21:38,100 --> 01:21:41,066 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS NOW? 1682 01:21:41,133 --> 01:21:44,033 LOOKS LIKE THE TENNESSEE WALTZ. 1683 01:21:44,100 --> 01:21:46,366 WHAT ARE YOU, THE WILDERNESS COMEDIAN? 1684 01:21:46,433 --> 01:21:47,833 HOLY! YOU SEE THAT? 1685 01:21:47,900 --> 01:21:49,666 OF COURSE I SAW IT! 1686 01:21:51,500 --> 01:21:52,833 LET'S GO! 1687 01:21:52,900 --> 01:21:53,900 COME ON. 1688 01:21:53,966 --> 01:21:56,033 LET'S GO, STEVE! 1689 01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:18,866 HALT! POLICE! 1690 01:22:18,933 --> 01:22:19,866 STOP! HALT! 1691 01:22:19,933 --> 01:22:21,366 WILL YOU HALT ALREADY? 1692 01:22:21,433 --> 01:22:22,366 STOP! HEY! 1693 01:22:22,433 --> 01:22:23,766 HEY! 1694 01:22:25,066 --> 01:22:27,933 COME ON! OH, NO! STEVE, HEY! 1695 01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:29,633 STEVE! HALT! HALT! 1696 01:22:29,700 --> 01:22:32,133 YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! NO, NOT NOW. 1697 01:22:32,200 --> 01:22:35,000 LEAVE THE HOT DOGS. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! 1698 01:22:35,066 --> 01:22:38,033 I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS. COME ON, LET'S GO! 1699 01:22:38,100 --> 01:22:39,233 STOP! 1700 01:22:39,300 --> 01:22:42,200 LET'S GO, STEVE. HI-HO, STEVE! LET'S GO! 1701 01:22:42,266 --> 01:22:44,700 HI-HO, STEVERINO! 1702 01:22:44,766 --> 01:22:47,200 ALL RIGHT, STEVIE! 1703 01:23:09,333 --> 01:23:11,100 ATTABOY, STEVE. 1704 01:23:11,166 --> 01:23:12,566 STOP! HALT! 1705 01:23:12,633 --> 01:23:13,566 HALT! 1706 01:23:13,633 --> 01:23:15,900 WILL YOU HALT ALREADY? 1707 01:23:29,333 --> 01:23:31,533 ( whinnies ) 1708 01:23:55,200 --> 01:23:56,133 STOP! POLICE! 1709 01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:57,133 HALT! 1710 01:23:57,200 --> 01:23:59,633 WILL YOU HALT ALREADY? HEY! 1711 01:23:59,700 --> 01:24:00,633 SLOW DOWN! 1712 01:24:00,700 --> 01:24:05,100 OK, STEVERINO, COME ON, MAN. 1713 01:24:05,166 --> 01:24:07,966 WE'RE ON OUR OWN, PAL. 1714 01:24:08,033 --> 01:24:09,866 WHOA, STEVE. 1715 01:24:11,800 --> 01:24:12,866 STEVE, WHOA. 1716 01:24:14,100 --> 01:24:15,633 SLOW DOWN, STEVE! HEY! 1717 01:24:15,700 --> 01:24:18,933 AAH! STOP! 1718 01:24:19,000 --> 01:24:21,433 WHOA, STEVE! STEVE, TAKE IT EASY! 1719 01:24:21,500 --> 01:24:22,666 WHOA! STEVE! 1720 01:24:23,900 --> 01:24:24,833 STEVE, STOP! 1721 01:24:24,900 --> 01:24:26,033 WHOA! 1722 01:24:26,100 --> 01:24:27,866 NO! 1723 01:24:27,933 --> 01:24:29,966 OW! OW! OW! 1724 01:24:30,033 --> 01:24:33,633 NOT THE WATER AGAIN! PULL ME UP, STEVE! 1725 01:24:35,333 --> 01:24:37,966 OH, STEVE! STEVE, BACK UP, PLEASE! 1726 01:24:38,033 --> 01:24:39,133 BACK UP! 1727 01:24:39,200 --> 01:24:40,633 STEVE! 1728 01:24:40,700 --> 01:24:43,066 OH-- HAIL MARY, FULL OF GRACE! 1729 01:24:43,133 --> 01:24:44,966 HEY, YOU! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! 1730 01:24:45,033 --> 01:24:46,533 STEVE, PLEASE, BACK UP! 1731 01:24:46,600 --> 01:24:48,600 OH, YEAH! THAT'S IT, STEVE! 1732 01:24:48,666 --> 01:24:50,600 BACK UP! GOOD BOY, STEVE! 1733 01:24:50,666 --> 01:24:53,033 KEEP BACKING UP! GOOD BOY, STEVE! 1734 01:24:53,100 --> 01:24:55,600 THAT'S IT! ALL RIGHT, STEVE! 1735 01:24:55,666 --> 01:24:56,866 YES! 1736 01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:12,133 OH... 1737 01:25:12,200 --> 01:25:13,133 OHH. 1738 01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:16,233 THANKS, STEVE. I OWE YOU ONE. 1739 01:25:16,300 --> 01:25:17,900 ( whinnies ) 1740 01:25:25,166 --> 01:25:27,900 FREEZE! POLICE! 1741 01:25:27,966 --> 01:25:31,200 GO AHEAD! MAKE A MOVE, AND YOU MAKE MY DAY. 1742 01:26:02,366 --> 01:26:05,266 ( roars ) 1743 01:26:18,700 --> 01:26:20,800 ( roars ) 1744 01:26:49,700 --> 01:26:53,466 HEY, GET OUT OF HERE! HEY! HELP! 1745 01:26:53,533 --> 01:26:55,500 BOO! GET OUT OF HERE! 1746 01:26:55,566 --> 01:26:57,633 YO! HEY! HELP! 1747 01:26:57,700 --> 01:27:00,500 HEY! HELP ME! HELP! HELP! 1748 01:27:00,566 --> 01:27:02,900 HEY! YO! SHOOT HIM! 1749 01:27:02,966 --> 01:27:04,366 SHOOT HIM! COME ON! 1750 01:27:04,433 --> 01:27:05,866 GO! GO! HEY! 1751 01:27:05,933 --> 01:27:08,500 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1752 01:27:08,566 --> 01:27:11,066 SHOOT HIM! YOU GOT A GUN. DO SOMETHING! 1753 01:27:25,466 --> 01:27:28,066 UH... GOOD. 1754 01:27:28,133 --> 01:27:30,066 CONGRATULATIONS. 1755 01:27:30,133 --> 01:27:32,333 YOU'RE MY FIRST COLLAR IN NEW YORK CITY. 1756 01:27:32,400 --> 01:27:34,066 WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? 1757 01:27:34,133 --> 01:27:36,733 I'M THE GOOD HORSE FAIRY. 1758 01:27:36,800 --> 01:27:38,233 YOU KNOW, BLAZE, 1759 01:27:38,300 --> 01:27:41,233 I THINK WE'RE GOING TO LIKE IT HERE. 1760 01:27:41,300 --> 01:27:42,233 ( whinnies ) 1761 01:27:42,300 --> 01:27:43,800 I REALLY DO. 1762 01:27:53,900 --> 01:27:56,833 THAT WAS A HECK OF A COLLAR, WELLINGTON. 1763 01:27:56,900 --> 01:27:58,066 THANK YOU, SIR. 1764 01:27:58,133 --> 01:28:00,733 NO, IT WAS MORE THAN THAT. 1765 01:28:00,800 --> 01:28:04,266 IT WAS A HELL OF A COLLAR. 1766 01:28:04,333 --> 01:28:06,633 WELCOME TO THE MOUNTED DIVISION, COWBOY. 1767 01:28:06,700 --> 01:28:10,200 ALL DUE RESPECT TO BUFFALO BILL, WHAT ABOUT ME? 1768 01:28:10,266 --> 01:28:11,333 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 1769 01:28:11,400 --> 01:28:13,200 I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT HIM. 1770 01:28:13,266 --> 01:28:14,666 I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE. 1771 01:28:14,733 --> 01:28:18,133 - ME TOO, BUT IT'S TRUE. - THANK YOU, MR. MAGNANIMOUS. 1772 01:28:18,200 --> 01:28:19,533 WANT ALL THE CREDIT? 1773 01:28:19,600 --> 01:28:21,100 - NO, JUST HALF. - YOU GOT HALF. 1774 01:28:21,166 --> 01:28:22,766 - THANK YOU. - I TELL YOU WHAT, SPAMPATTA, 1775 01:28:22,833 --> 01:28:24,800 YOU'RE STILL ON PROBATION, 1776 01:28:24,866 --> 01:28:26,500 BUT I'LL ASSIGN YOU A NEW MOUNT. 1777 01:28:26,566 --> 01:28:30,866 DORIS, ASSIGN SPAMPATTA ANOTHER HORSE. 1778 01:28:30,933 --> 01:28:34,100 SO, UH, WHAT HAPPENS TO STEVE? 1779 01:28:34,166 --> 01:28:35,333 DOG FOOD. 1780 01:28:35,400 --> 01:28:36,400 ( Steve whinnies ) 1781 01:28:36,466 --> 01:28:39,066 - DOG FOOD? - DOG FOOD. 1782 01:28:39,133 --> 01:28:40,766 WELL, YOU'RE A SWEET GAL, LIEUTENANT. 1783 01:28:40,833 --> 01:28:43,433 THIS HORSE IS UP FOR ROTATION. IT'S PROCEDURE. 1784 01:28:43,500 --> 01:28:46,400 DID YOU GROW UP FLUSHING GOLDFISH DOWN THE TOILET? 1785 01:28:46,466 --> 01:28:48,100 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY HORSE, 1786 01:28:48,166 --> 01:28:49,633 MY PAL, A MAN'S BEST FRIEND. 1787 01:28:49,700 --> 01:28:52,333 BESIDES, HE SAVED MY LIFE. 1788 01:28:52,400 --> 01:28:54,533 WE'LL GET YOU A GOOD HORSE. JUST RELAX. 1789 01:28:54,600 --> 01:28:57,533 I DON'T WANT TO RELAX. I WANT THIS HORSE-- 1790 01:28:57,600 --> 01:28:58,966 STEVERINO. 1791 01:28:59,033 --> 01:29:00,466 HUH? HIM AND ME, 1792 01:29:00,533 --> 01:29:03,533 WE GET ALONG LIKE ME AND MY WIFE. 1793 01:29:03,600 --> 01:29:05,033 YES, SIR, STEVE. 1794 01:29:05,100 --> 01:29:07,533 I AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE WITHOUT HIM. 1795 01:29:07,600 --> 01:29:09,500 ALL RIGHT, GIDDYUP, STEVE. 1796 01:29:09,566 --> 01:29:11,500 ( whinnies ) 1797 01:29:11,566 --> 01:29:13,666 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. GIDDYUP. 1798 01:29:13,733 --> 01:29:15,966 ANYTIME. GIDDYUP. 1799 01:29:16,033 --> 01:29:17,333 COME ON, STEVE, LET'S GO. 1800 01:29:17,400 --> 01:29:19,666 YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH HIM, EITHER. 1801 01:29:19,733 --> 01:29:20,800 DON'T LOOK AT ME. HE'S YOUR PARTNER. 1802 01:29:20,866 --> 01:29:22,533 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 1803 01:29:22,600 --> 01:29:24,133 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 1804 01:29:24,200 --> 01:29:28,266 - NOTHING, OK? - COME ON, STEVE. 1805 01:29:28,333 --> 01:29:29,466 CAPTAIN. 1806 01:29:29,533 --> 01:29:31,033 CARRY ON, WELLINGTON. 1807 01:29:31,100 --> 01:29:32,533 ARE YOU READY? 1808 01:29:32,600 --> 01:29:34,466 JUST GO, PLEASE. JUST GO. 1809 01:29:34,533 --> 01:29:36,133 COME ON. 1810 01:29:37,733 --> 01:29:39,433 ALL RIGHT, STEVE. 1811 01:29:43,066 --> 01:29:46,233 - HEY, WELLINGTON, AYOU HUNGRY? - NOPE. 1812 01:29:46,300 --> 01:29:48,866 I KNOW THIS PLACE MAKES AN OUTSTANDING PASTRAMI SANDWICH. 1813 01:29:48,933 --> 01:29:51,233 I TOLD YOU I DON'T LIKE PASTRAMI. 1814 01:29:51,300 --> 01:29:53,233 "I DON'T LIKE PASTRAMI." 1815 01:29:53,300 --> 01:29:55,066 SO YOU CAN WATCH ME EAT. 1816 01:29:55,133 --> 01:29:58,533 HEY, WELLINGTON, YOU BOWL? 1817 01:29:58,600 --> 01:30:00,266 ( chuckles ) 1818 01:30:00,333 --> 01:30:02,033 ( laughs ) 1819 01:30:02,100 --> 01:30:03,533 COME ON. 1820 01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:05,200 ( whinnies ) 123690

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.