Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:21,098
♪ Green Acres is the place to be
2
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:25,135
♪ Farm livin' is the life for me
3
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:29,639
♪ Land spreadin'
out so far and wide
4
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:34,111
♪ Keep Manhattan, just
give me that countryside
5
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:37,814
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
6
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:41,518
♪ I get allergic smelling hay
7
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:45,722
♪ I just adore a penthouse view
8
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:49,915
♪ Dah-ling I love you
but give me Park Avenue
9
00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:57,234
♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air
10
00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:00,203
♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife
11
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,039
♪ Good bye, city life
12
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:05,630
♪ Green Acres we are there
13
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:20,957
- Oliver, - What, what what?
14
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,792
- You want to wake up
and watch the names?
15
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:31,623
Oliver, you missed
the executive producer.
16
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,337
- The exec...?
17
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,427
Lisa, please.
18
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,181
What?
19
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:46,616
- You blew the Written By's too.
20
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,541
- Oh, will you
please let me sleep?
21
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:56,916
What now?
22
00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,463
- I just wanted to tell you that
23
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:02,065
the names are all through
and you can go back to sleep.
24
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:05,402
- Well, who's that?
25
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:06,636
- Maybe it's one of the names
26
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,672
complaining that
you didn't watch.
27
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:10,696
- Oh, you.
28
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,380
- Oh, 'morning, Mister Douglas.
29
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:18,715
- Yes, good morning,
Mister Drucker.
30
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:19,949
- I hope I didn't wake you up.
31
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,451
I got a special delivery letter.
32
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,285
- Thank you.
33
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,520
- It's for your wife.
34
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:24,654
- All right, I'll
give it to her.
35
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:25,989
- Give me what?
36
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,158
- The special
delivery letter Mister...
37
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,026
- Oh, hello, Mister Drucker.
38
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,027
- Morning, Missus Douglas.
39
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,262
Did I wake you up too?
40
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,197
- Oh no, no, I've been
up for quite some time,
41
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,787
watching the names.
42
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,868
He slept right through them.
43
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,437
- Oh, well...
44
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:44,241
- Will you two excuse
me, I'm going back to sleep.
45
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,009
- Is he always that
grouchy in the morning?
46
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,777
- Sometimes he's worse.
47
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,312
- Well, doggone it, if I woke up
48
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,115
to a beautiful woman like
you, I'd be singin' and dancin'.
49
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,083
- Well, when we
were first married,
50
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:57,320
he was a singer and
a dancer, but no more.
51
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,489
That's what
marriage does to you.
52
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,225
- Well then I'm glad
I never got married,
53
00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,927
'cause I love to sing
and dance in the mornin'.
54
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,063
Oh, I almost forgot,
here's your letter.
55
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,420
- Oh, thank you.
56
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,027
Oliver!
57
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,130
Oliver, Oliver,
58
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,033
get up, get up.
59
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:24,847
- What, what, what?
60
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:25,782
Name time again?
61
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,384
- Guess who the letter is from.
62
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:30,387
Your draft board.
63
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,822
- It's from my Uncle Fedor.
64
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,123
- Gloriaski.
65
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,726
- He's coming to visit me.
66
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,695
- Fine.
- Today.
67
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,230
- Great.
68
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,800
- We've got to pick him
up at the airport in an hour.
69
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:44,734
- What?
70
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,304
- Get up, now get up.
71
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,806
- Oh Lisa look, why
don't you go pick him up
72
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,374
and by the time you get back
73
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,677
I'll have the curlers out
of my hair, my makeup on,
74
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:56,479
and if I get time,
I'll bake him a cake.
75
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,870
- Oliver, get up.
76
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,976
Come on.
- What you doin' no, no!
77
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,595
Who is this Uncle Fedor, you
never mentioned him before?
78
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:13,430
- Well, he's not a real uncle.
79
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:18,101
He was my father's cousin,
on the other side of my mother.
80
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,603
- On the other side of...
81
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:22,138
- He used to rent a room
from us, upstairs in the palace.
82
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,206
- He rented a roo...
- Yes.
83
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,941
When the king business was slow,
84
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,344
my father used to
take in boarders.
85
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,447
- You father was never a king.
86
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,982
- Then how come he wore a crown?
87
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,584
- The only time he wore a crown
88
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,985
was when he ate that margarine.
89
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,289
- Uncle Fedor will tell you.
90
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:42,125
He knew us in the good
old days in Hungary,
91
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:46,630
when my father sat on the
throne with an iron hand.
92
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:50,066
- Yeah, those were
the good old days.
93
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:53,002
Say, how long is Fedor
planning to stay with us?
94
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,237
- I don't know.
95
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,806
He said it would depend
on the circumstances.
96
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,208
His letter was very mysterious.
97
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,710
- In what way?
98
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,112
- He said, when we met
him, we shouldn't talk to him,
99
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:07,450
unless he had a folded
newspaper under his left arm.
100
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,419
- What kind of a nut is he?
101
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:13,612
- I don't know; I haven't
seen him in a long time.
102
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,271
- Pardon me, can I ask
you, I want to find out...
103
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:22,265
- Be right with you in a minute.
104
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:26,202
Trans Pixley Airlines,
we're the seagulls.
105
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,870
No, this is Claxton.
106
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,106
I'm the new man on the counter.
107
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,608
Just got my wings today.
108
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,012
What?
109
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,281
Oh no madam, we're still flying.
110
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,517
It's just the pilots
who are out on strike.
111
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:42,608
Any time.
112
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,523
Now, how may I
be of service, sir?
113
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,591
- Has the plane come
in from Chicago yet?
114
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,159
- This is my first
day on the job.
115
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,662
I'll have to check
with control tower.
116
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:53,896
- Yes, would you please.
117
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:59,090
- Claxton calling control tower.
118
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,206
- Control tower, go ahead.
119
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:06,275
- Trans Pixley Airlines desk,
120
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,277
fellow down here wants to know
121
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,946
about a plane coming
in from Chicago.
122
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,348
- Well I,
123
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:15,039
just a second, I think
I see a plane comin'.
124
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,622
Naw, it was just a
fly on the window.
125
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,925
- Of all the...
- Hold it, hold it.
126
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:25,517
There's something on the radar.
127
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,833
Nope, just a mosquito.
128
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,436
You know, we gotta get
some screens up here.
129
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,371
Is there anything else?
130
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,805
- Negative, control tower.
131
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,741
- Control tower, over and out.
132
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:38,742
Roger.
133
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,510
Hey, will you!
134
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,681
- What did you find out?
135
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:47,216
- The need screens
in the control tower.
136
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,786
- Doesn't he know
when flight 22 is arriving?
137
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:52,489
- Control tower to Trans
Pixley Airlines desk.
138
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:55,425
- Trans Pixley Airlines
desk, go ahead, control tower.
139
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,494
- This is unbelievable.
140
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,397
- There's something landing now.
141
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:02,499
- You're sure it's not a fly?
142
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,100
- No, it has too many engines.
143
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,870
- Oh, you dirty...
- Over and out.
144
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,407
- Oh, hey cut, - Whew!
145
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,143
- It's a plane!
146
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,713
- Well don't seem so
surprised, this is an airport.
147
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:20,238
- Well, let's see if
Uncle Fedor is on it.
148
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,887
- Well those are
the last passengers,
149
00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,423
you sure you didn't see him?
- No.
150
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:27,791
- He must have missed the plane.
151
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,459
- Well, what should we do?
152
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:30,960
- Well let's go home.
153
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,662
I'm sure if he comes in,
he'll get in touch with us later.
154
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:36,165
- That's very strange; Uncle
Fedor was always so prompt.
155
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,268
- Well prompt...
- In here.
156
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,792
- Uncle Fedor, oh!
157
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:43,807
- Hey, hey, hey, where
do you think you're going?
158
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,330
- In there to, oh!
159
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,400
- Is the coast clear?
160
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,781
- Uh, what do you, uh,
161
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,451
- Yes, there is
nobody here, just us.
162
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:55,807
Oh, Uncle Fedor!
163
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,455
- No names, please!
164
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,323
- Where's your luggage?
165
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,091
- Who is this?
- My husband.
166
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,793
- How long have you known him?
167
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,095
- Since we were married.
168
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,331
- You didn't know
him before that?
169
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,621
- Not too well.
170
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,636
- Do you have
any identification?
171
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:17,006
- What do you...
- Oh, he's all right.
172
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,943
- I guess I'll have to
take your word for it.
173
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,177
Do you have a car?
174
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,178
- Yes, outside.
175
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,213
- Good, let's get going.
176
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,850
You, walk six paces behind us
177
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,808
and make believe
you don't know us.
178
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,196
- Well, here we
are, Uncle Fedor.
179
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,431
- Good, I don't think
anybody followed us.
180
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,733
- Hey, why are you so...
181
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,434
- Are you sure
you can trust him?
182
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,660
- Hey look, - Oh,
come in, Uncle Fedor.
183
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,339
- After you.
184
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:03,542
- You go first.
185
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,527
We made it.
186
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,360
- Would you mind
telling what you're...
187
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,384
- Shh!
188
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,955
- Uh, what are you uh, - Shh!
189
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,340
- What are you looking for?
190
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,575
- Bugs.
191
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,877
- We don't have
any bugs, just flies.
192
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,948
- He means microphones.
193
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,050
- How did you know that?
194
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,674
- Well, I uh, read,
195
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,356
- What's in there?
196
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,658
- The kitchen.
197
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,693
- Would you like to
have some coffee?
198
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,361
Come on in.
199
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,763
- Thank you.
200
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,064
- Go ahead.
201
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,353
- You go first.
202
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,406
- Won't you sit
down, Uncle Fedor?
203
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,430
- Thank you.
204
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:06,672
- Thank you.
205
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,856
- You make coffee
just like your mother.
206
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,592
- No wonder your
father had ulcers.
207
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:16,616
- What?
208
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,117
- Oh nothing, nothing.
209
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,566
What's that for?
210
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,834
- Can't be too careful.
211
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,471
- Look, what are you afraid of?
212
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,973
- Nothing.
213
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:32,475
- Come on now, you're
afraid of something, what is it?
214
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:35,344
- Well, whatever
it is, we'll help you.
215
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:38,815
- Well I have to trust somebody.
216
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,683
Would you mind
locking that door?
217
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,585
- Now there's noth...
- Oh well, I'll lock it.
218
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,587
- Oh, thank you.
219
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:48,357
Well it started in
Hungary, after the war.
220
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,526
Professor Heinbecker
came to see me and said
221
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,862
he's been working
on this secret formula,
222
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,964
which he'd been
keeping from the Nazis,
223
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,166
but now the
communists wanted it.
224
00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:00,069
And would I smuggle it
out of the country for him.
225
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,105
Well, I thought he was kidding.
226
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,907
Until I noticed the knife
sticking out of his back.
227
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:09,012
Then there was a pounding
at the door, police whistles.
228
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,380
So I took the envelope,
229
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,816
I climbed out of the
window, and jumped.
230
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,818
- You could have
killed yourself.
231
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,219
- No, I lived in the basement.
232
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:19,756
- What?
233
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,190
- Well, I went
over the back fence
234
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:22,825
and made my way to the border,
235
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,393
only I couldn't get
across because
236
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,095
there was a lot of secret police
237
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:29,132
searching everybody's
trunkie, and I didn't have one.
238
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,834
I went up to the
mountains and hid.
239
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,235
But they found me,
240
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,738
so I skied down
the Alps to Paris.
241
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:38,107
- Now, how can you ski down...
242
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,341
- How did you find me?
243
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,044
- Well, in Paris I
ran into your mother,
244
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:43,012
and she hid me
out in her chateau.
245
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:47,016
But then one morning I noticed
the milkman taking pictures.
246
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,452
Right away I knew that the
secret police had found me again.
247
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,989
So I brought the first
submarine for America,
248
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,123
and here I am.
249
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:56,759
- The first submar...
250
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,027
- Well, you're safe here.
251
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,428
- I don't know.
252
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,564
The secret police never give up.
253
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:05,868
I think I was followed by a
fellow with a scar on his face.
254
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,104
Nobody's gonna come...
255
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:11,207
- There they are,
where can I hide?
256
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,309
- In the bedroom, under the bed.
257
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,111
- Be careful!
258
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,501
- I'm coming.
259
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,419
Ooh! What did you...
260
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,121
- Hey, where's the guy
with the secret formula?
261
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,156
- How did you know about it?
262
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,758
- I was listenin' at the window.
263
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,426
- Well, what were you li...
264
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,894
- What an exciting story!
265
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:35,131
It's like living in the middle
of Mission Impossible.
266
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:38,534
- Ab, don't tell anybody
what you heard.
267
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,702
- Lisa, you don't really
268
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,971
believe that ridiculous
story, do you?
269
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,005
- Don't you?
270
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,540
- Of course not.
271
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,542
Far as I'm concerned, he
made the whole thing up
272
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,845
so he could stay with us
for a while and freeload.
273
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,213
- Oh, Oliver!
274
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:53,249
- How long do you think
he's gonna stay here?
275
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,450
- Until they kill him.
276
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,385
- Or longer, if he has to.
277
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,989
- Oh, I had enough
of this nonsense.
278
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,524
Secret police, a guy
with a scar on his face,
279
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,993
secret formulas,
280
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,129
- Don't forget about skiing
down the Alps to Paris.
281
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,066
- You can't ski down
the Alps to Paris.
282
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,001
Look, if you two want
to believe him, fine.
283
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,035
But leave me out of it.
284
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:15,238
I'm going on into Drucker's.
285
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,006
Afternoon, Mr. Drucker.
286
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,241
- Oh hi, Mr. Douglas.
287
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,076
I hear you got a spy
livin' at your house.
288
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,310
- What?
289
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,879
- The fellow with
the secret formula.
290
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,247
- How did you?
291
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:26,149
- Skied all the
way to Paris, huh?
292
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,985
- Look, Mr. Drucker, I don't
know where you heard all this,
293
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,087
but it's a lot of hogwash.
294
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,256
He's just a Hungarian
house guest.
295
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,958
- Oh? I wonder why this
fellow was asking about him.
296
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,193
- What fellow?
297
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,828
- The fellow with
a scar on his face.
298
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:39,852
- A scar?
299
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:41,998
What'd he want to know?
300
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,833
- If you had anybody
stayin' with you.
301
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,101
- You didn't tell him, did you?
302
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,136
- Well I didn't really
know at that time.
303
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,371
All I knew was that
he skied down the Alps
304
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,073
and stayed at your
mother-in-law's chateau
305
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:54,277
until the painter
started taking pictures.
306
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,744
- It was the milkman.
307
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:56,712
- You sure?
308
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:57,980
- Yes.
309
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,616
- That's funny, I heard
it was the painter.
310
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,119
But anyway, if this fellow
with the scar shows up again,
311
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,586
I won't tell him anything.
312
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:05,822
- Good.
313
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,656
- You can count on
me, mum's the word.
314
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,624
- Yeah, thank you.
315
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,827
- My lips are sealed.
316
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,295
- Fine.
317
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,563
- They can torture me,
shoot me full of truth serum,
318
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:18,201
but I won't talk, they won't
get anything outta me.
319
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:20,325
- Thank you, Mr. Drucker.
320
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,643
And Mr. Drucker said this
man was asking questions
321
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,567
about your Uncle Fedor.
322
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,582
- Did he have a
scar on his face?
323
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,606
- Yeah.
324
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,254
Now look, you don't
have to hide under the bed.
325
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,089
- Stay there, Uncle Fedor.
326
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,946
- Don't worry, I will.
327
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:46,428
- And you didn't believe
Uncle Fedor's story.
328
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,097
- No, I still don't.
329
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,233
Fascist!
330
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:53,336
- Look, if your story is
true, let's call the CIA.
331
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,204
They'll catch the
man with the scar.
332
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,739
- It wouldn't do any good.
333
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,075
There is always the
Russian fellow with the ear off.
334
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,243
- Who's that?
335
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,677
Ivan Earoff.
336
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:05,047
Get back under the bed.
337
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,350
Lisa, I don't know
what this is all about.
338
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,253
- Who is that?
339
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:17,693
- Oh, it's you.
- Shh,
340
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:18,560
- What's the matter?
341
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,084
- I'm under cover.
342
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:22,098
- Mister Haney!
343
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,721
- No names, please.
344
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,324
- Look, I...
- My card.
345
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,506
- The No Names Please
Protection Agency.
346
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,741
- Now I suppose you
want full protection
347
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,677
for that fellow that's
under your bed.
348
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:36,812
- How did you know?
349
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,881
- Do you want 24
hour protection,
350
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:42,473
12 hour protection,
or any portion thereof?
351
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,454
- I don't want any protection.
352
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:46,789
- You mean you're just gonna
353
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:50,993
leave Uncle Fedor to
the mercy of scar face?
354
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:54,897
- Mister Haney...
- Not to mention Earoff.
355
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:58,634
Now, he's the one you
really gotta watch out for.
356
00:15:58,658 --> 00:15:59,835
- How did you...
357
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:01,404
- Now, if you don't
want personal protection,
358
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,372
perhaps you'd be interested
359
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,975
in my do-it-yourself
protection kit.
360
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:09,600
This consists of a
di-rect line to the FBI.
361
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:14,974
Hello, FB?
362
00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:18,387
This is I.
363
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,356
Yeah, I'm here
talkin' to him now.
364
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,559
As soon as he signs
up, I'll let you know.
365
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,682
Over and out.
366
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,463
- Of all the ridiculous...
367
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,966
- Now, in addition
to the direct line,
368
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:32,734
you'll get the
services of Killer,
369
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:35,159
my army-trained commando dog.
370
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,675
Here, Killer!
371
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,382
Ain't he a clever dog?
372
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:49,051
Disguising himself as a chimp!
373
00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:50,853
- That's not a d...
- Speak!
374
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,013
Ain't that frightening?
375
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,793
- Mr. Haney, would you
376
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,062
take Bozo, or whatever he
is and get him out of here?
377
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,299
- Killer, he ain't convinced,
378
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:06,302
so you might as well
take off your baboon suit.
379
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:14,710
Mr Haney, will you please,
380
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,945
- Excuse me, his zipper's stuck.
381
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,233
- How did you?
382
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:40,236
No, no, don't tell me;
I don't want to hear it.
383
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,640
- You stupid dog, I told you
384
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:48,777
nobody's gonna fall for
your bum baboon imitation.
385
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,789
- I think you should have
386
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,492
hired Mr. Haney to
protect Uncle Fedor.
387
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,927
- Oh some protection!
388
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:08,397
All he has is a dog that
disguises himself as a baboon.
389
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,965
- How does he do that?
390
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,867
- He puts on a baboon suit.
391
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,469
- Mr. Haney does?
392
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:15,593
- No, the dog puts it on.
393
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:19,475
Oh, I'm fed up with this whole,
394
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,410
Fedor, come on out of there.
395
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,913
Uncle Fedor come, he's not here.
396
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,382
- He found a new hiding place.
397
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:27,283
- Where?
398
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:28,639
- In the closet.
399
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,054
- Come on out, Uncle Fedor.
400
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:33,255
What the?
401
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,712
- It's me, Fedor.
402
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,159
- Really?
403
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:40,629
- You see, Uncle Fedor, it
worked, he didn't know you.
404
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,831
He figured if they're
looking for a man,
405
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,733
they wouldn't know him.
406
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,502
- Oh no, no, he'd fool anybody.
407
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:48,704
- Who is there?
408
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,072
- I'll find out.
409
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,540
Who is there?
410
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:52,708
- Who's where?
411
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,578
- Who is at the front door?
412
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:58,102
- Oh, wait a minute, I'll see.
413
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:04,153
Oh, it's me, Hank Kimball.
414
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:06,677
- Oh, come on in, Mr. Kimball.
415
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:11,127
Oh Mr. Kimball is
all right, come on.
416
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,561
I want you to meet him.
417
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:15,919
Come along, there
you go, there you are.
418
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,235
- Oh, hello Mrs. Douglas.
419
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,924
- I am Mrs. Douglas.
420
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:25,563
- Oh, then who is
this pretty little thing?
421
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,844
- This is my Aunt Fedor.
422
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,078
- Oh, well Aunt Fedor,
423
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,381
you're the spitting
image of Mrs. Douglas.
424
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,082
Well, not the spitting image.
425
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,184
You need a shave.
426
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:39,155
- Will you take
off that negligee?
427
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,624
No no, not you!
428
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:42,648
You.
429
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,795
- Gee, I didn't know it was
gonna be that kind of a movie.
430
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,333
- Well, Aunt Fedor is
really my Uncle Fedor.
431
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:54,236
- Oh, I heard about
those operations.
432
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,140
- Uncle Fedor is in trouble.
433
00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:00,108
The secret police are after him.
434
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,510
And they traced him here
435
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,879
and if they catch
him, they'll kill him.
436
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:07,349
- Oh I wouldn't worry
about that if I were you.
437
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:10,852
Yes, if I were you I
would worry about that.
438
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,622
- You didn't happen to see a
fellow with a scar on his face?
439
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:15,924
- No, the only fellow I
met didn't have an ear.
440
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,160
He was asking
a lot of questions.
441
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:19,428
- What kind of questions?
442
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,862
- He wanted to know if I'd seen
443
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,166
a fellow with a
scar on his face.
444
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,833
- Well if you see
him, don't tell him
445
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,602
anything about Uncle Fedor.
446
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:29,126
- Don't worry, I'll play dumb.
447
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,983
- There's a part that's
right up your alley.
448
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,178
- Well, Uncle Fedor,
I want you to know
449
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,180
that even if they do kill you,
450
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:41,939
you'll always be welcome
here in Hooterville.
451
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:46,722
- What's the matter with him?
452
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:49,057
- They're not sure, but
they're working on it.
453
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,693
- Mr. Douglas?
- What's the matter?
454
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:53,095
- I just saw a fellow
hidin' in the cornfield.
455
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,963
He has a scar on his face.
456
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,565
- If you need me,
I'll be under the bed.
457
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,468
- Oliver, we better
lock the doors
458
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:00,736
and pull down the shades and...
459
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,238
- Lisa, if there's
somebody out there,
460
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:03,639
I better have a
little talk with him.
461
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,173
- He's not there any more.
462
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,476
When he saw me, he took
off over the fence like a shot.
463
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,678
He tore his suit.
464
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,047
- Yes, that's secret
police cloth all right.
465
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,282
- It sure is.
466
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,884
- What secret police cloth?
467
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,953
- It's made out
of used microfilm.
468
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,288
- That's right!
469
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:22,258
- You don't even
know what microfilm is.
470
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:23,726
- Why are you hollering at her?
471
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,694
You don't even know
what secret police cloth is.
472
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,431
- Oliver, we've got
to protect Fedor.
473
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,667
Tonight, we're all going
to have guard duty.
474
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:34,236
- Not me; I'm going to sleep.
475
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:37,995
- Don't worry, Uncle
Fedor; I'll stand guard.
476
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:46,470
- Oliver, Oliver!
477
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:48,817
- Yeah, what's the matter?
478
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,653
- There is somebody
outside the window.
479
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:51,677
- What?
480
00:21:57,617 --> 00:22:01,397
- All's well on this
side of the house.
481
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:02,421
- Fine.
482
00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:05,301
That silly...
483
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:09,237
- Oliver, there is
somebody at the front door.
484
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:11,407
- All's well at the
front of the house too.
485
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:12,341
- Why are you?
486
00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:13,842
- I got the house surrounded.
487
00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:16,077
Care to meet me in the kitchen
for my back-door-alls-well?
488
00:22:16,101 --> 00:22:19,102
- Eb, if you disturb
me once more...
489
00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:24,687
- Who was it?
490
00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:27,389
- Eb; go back to sleep.
491
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:32,750
Oh, that silly kid!
492
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:43,627
- I am looking for Fedor.
493
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:45,863
- Who are you?
494
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:48,344
- I'm with the...
495
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:50,446
- Don't move, I got you covered.
496
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:51,980
- Good work, Eb.
497
00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:54,015
Now maybe we can find
out what this is all about.
498
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:54,916
- Look you're making...
499
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,852
- Keep your hands up!
500
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:59,120
- What I want to know...
- Oliver, who,
501
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:03,625
why has Eb got the
broom in this fellow's back?
502
00:23:03,649 --> 00:23:05,394
- Oh for the love of...
503
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:06,729
- Don't move, it's loaded.
504
00:23:06,753 --> 00:23:07,963
- Now look.
505
00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:09,931
- It's the fellow with
the scar on his face
506
00:23:09,955 --> 00:23:12,234
that's after Uncle Fedor.
507
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:13,702
- Where is he?
508
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:16,171
- We don't squeal
to the secret police.
509
00:23:16,195 --> 00:23:17,906
- I'm not the secret police.
510
00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:19,608
- Then why are you wearing
511
00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:22,444
the coat made out of
the secret police cloth?
512
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:26,982
- I'm with the New York
City District Attorney's Office.
513
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:30,452
I've got a bench warrant
for the arrest of this Fedor.
514
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:31,909
- May I see that?
515
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:35,758
- I had some time
tracking him down.
516
00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:39,762
I lost him when he skied
down the Alps to Paris.
517
00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:41,497
Then I picked up
his trail and found him
518
00:23:41,521 --> 00:23:44,099
hiding in this
old bat's chateau.
519
00:23:44,123 --> 00:23:46,702
That old bat happens
to be my mother.
520
00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:50,739
- Oh, well she's a
very nice old bat.
521
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:54,109
- Do you know what your
Uncle Fedor is wanted for?
522
00:23:54,133 --> 00:23:55,377
- What?
523
00:23:55,401 --> 00:23:56,667
- Back alimony.
524
00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:01,450
- And you said he
wasn't a real Hungarian.
525
00:24:02,575 --> 00:24:03,485
- Oh I never!
526
00:24:03,509 --> 00:24:04,920
But can you imagine that guy
527
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:08,824
making up that phony
story of foreign intrigue?
528
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:11,092
- Do you mind telling
me where he is?
529
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:13,328
- Gladly; follow me.
530
00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:15,853
- Oliver, don't fink on Fedor!
531
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,524
- Fedor, Fedor!
532
00:24:22,361 --> 00:24:23,806
Oh he's gone.
533
00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:25,062
He left a note.
534
00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:29,144
By the time you read
this, I'll be on my way
535
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:32,180
to an unnamed country
to sell the secret formula.
536
00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:35,083
The secret, he never
gives up, does he?
537
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:37,686
Do not try to follow me.
538
00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:41,824
This note will self-destruct
in five seconds.
539
00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:43,859
He's got the most
vivid imagination that...
540
00:25:28,327 --> 00:25:32,496
This has been a Filmways
presentation, Dahling.
35800
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof