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♪ Green Acres if the place to be
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♪ Farm living is the life for me
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00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:30,073
♪ Land spreading
out so and far and wide
4
00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:34,311
♪ Keep Manhattan, just
give me that countryside
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00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:38,115
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
6
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:42,085
♪ I get allergic smelling hay
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00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:46,589
♪ I just adore a penthouse view
8
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:50,994
♪ Darling, I love you,
but give me Park Avenue
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00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:57,534
♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air
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00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,769
♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife
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00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,105
♪ Goodbye city life
12
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:05,730
♪ Green Acres we are there
13
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- Oh, hello, dear.
14
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,127
- Good morning, good morning.
15
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,529
- Where have you been?
16
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:26,496
- Well, I went into
Pixley and picked up
17
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,497
the Sunday paper.
18
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:28,731
- Well, that was
a waste of time.
19
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,267
- What do you mean?
20
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,602
- Well, aren't all the
saloOns closed in Pixley
21
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,271
closed on Sunday?
22
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,673
- All I went for was the paper.
23
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:37,874
- Oh, well, that's
what you used to say
24
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,676
when we lived in New York.
25
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,478
You used to go out
for the Sunday paper
26
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,247
and you came back on
Monday with a red nose
27
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,916
and a pocket full of olives.
28
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,119
- Lisa, where did
you ever get the idea
29
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,888
that I was such a big drinker?
30
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,624
- Watching you belting
down the martoonies.
31
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,026
- Well, I am not.
32
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,796
- Oh, can I have the
funny papers please?
33
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,331
- There you are.
34
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,299
- Thank you.
35
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,767
And the society section.
36
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:05,768
- Okay.
37
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,126
- Morning, mama.
38
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,162
Morning, papa.
39
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:16,413
- Will you please keep
your clammy lips off of me.
40
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,781
- Boy, he's in a horrible
mood this morning.
41
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,552
The saloons must have
been closed in Pixley.
42
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,743
Can I have the TV section?
43
00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:27,324
And I'll take the
financial page, too.
44
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,926
I want to see if my
debentures are dry yet.
45
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,128
- What does that mean?
46
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:34,564
- That means he
has red debentures.
47
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:38,089
- Hey, can I have the
sports section, too?
48
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,473
- All right, now will you
two settle down and read?
49
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,874
I'd like to have a
quiet Sunday morning
50
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:47,544
by myself here if I may.
51
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,735
- Well, Happy
Hooligan is funny today.
52
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,016
- Happy?
53
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,185
- The fellow with the
tin can on his head.
54
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,187
- They haven't published
Happy Hooligan in.
55
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,455
- Hey, guess what?
56
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:01,791
Red Grange scored three
touchdowns yesterday.
57
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:02,881
- Red Grange?
58
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,028
He hasn't played in.
59
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:07,697
- Mutt and Jeff is funny, too.
60
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,299
- Say, what paper
are you two reading?
61
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,434
- The same one you're reading.
62
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,735
- Well, I'll be.
63
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:13,903
- What's the matter?
64
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,039
- Admiral Bird
reaches the south pole.
65
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:17,563
That's impossible.
66
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,565
Oh, oh, I see.
67
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,513
This is an anniversary issue.
68
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,081
Yeah, what they've
done is print some
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00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,284
of the big stories
of the past 50 years
70
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:30,487
along with some of the
big stories of the present.
71
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:33,490
- Then I don't have to
send a Bon Voyage basket.
72
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:34,491
- To whom?
73
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,758
- Mrs. Vanderbilt.
74
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:39,095
She's sailing on the
Lucetania tomorrow.
75
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,530
- Send one anyway.
76
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,333
- How much do you want to spend?
77
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:46,703
- I don't, hey, hey here's
an interesting comparison.
78
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,706
The Wright Brothers
and the first space walk
79
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,208
on the moon.
80
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,510
- I didn't know the Wright
Brothers walked on the moon.
81
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,212
- They didn't.
82
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:58,081
They were the first
Americans to fly an airplane.
83
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:01,851
- Oh, yeah, it was called
the Spirit of St. Louis.
84
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,620
- No, that was Lindbergh.
85
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,223
- And he walked on the moon?
86
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:09,058
- Don't you two know
anything about history?
87
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,260
- I don't know why
they printed anything
88
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,994
about the fellow
walking on the moon.
89
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:13,296
That's not so great.
90
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,553
- Not so great?
91
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,801
It's the greatest scientific
achievement in history.
92
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,804
- Dinky Watson did it
before anybody else.
93
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,273
- Dinky Watson?
94
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,507
- You know my little friend.
95
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,776
The 11-year-old
electronic genius.
96
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,745
A couple of months ago
he built himself a rocket ship
97
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,047
and went to the moon.
98
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,449
- Well, I'm surprised
they didn't have
99
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,983
something about it
in the papers here.
100
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,218
- Well, it was a big secret.
101
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:36,486
Dinky said if his dad
found out about it,
102
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,855
he wouldn't let him go.
103
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,258
- Oh, I can understand that.
104
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,393
- Did he take any
pictures on the moon?
105
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,828
- No, ma'am, he
broke his camera.
106
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,830
- He broke his camera.
107
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:51,701
- Well, all the other
guys broke theirs.
108
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,035
Hey, he brought back
some moon rocks.
109
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:54,471
Would you like to see them?
110
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,994
- Oh, I'd love to.
111
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,241
- Lisa, he doesn't have any.
112
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,877
I'll call him and tell
him to bring one over.
113
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:04,514
Calling Dinky Watson,
calling Dinky Watson.
114
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:05,515
- Would you mind
telling me what you
115
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,216
think you're doing?
116
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,119
- Calling Dinky on
his ring radio he built.
117
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,120
- Look Ebb.
118
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,622
- Excuse me.
119
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,723
Hello Dinky?
120
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:14,957
This is Ebb.
121
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:15,825
Would you bring one
of your moon rocks over
122
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,582
to show the Douglas'?
123
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,198
Good, over and out.
124
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:24,867
- What the?
125
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:25,968
- Hi, Mr. Douglas.
126
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:26,936
Hi Ebb.
127
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,571
- Hi Dinky.
128
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,807
Boy what a keen go-cart.
129
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,509
- Yeah, I just
finished building it.
130
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,677
- Does it run on batteries.
131
00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,578
- No, solar energy.
132
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:36,835
- Solar energy.
133
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,215
- Yes, sir.
134
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,950
You see, the rays
are picked up on this
135
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:43,085
and then they're
converted into electricity
136
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:45,254
to power this washing
machine motor.
137
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:48,024
I can do 30 when
it's on spin dry.
138
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,048
- Wowee.
139
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,363
- Here's that moon rock
you wanted to see Ebb.
140
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,898
- Oh, I see, this is
what they look like?
141
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,266
- Yes, Sir.
142
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,568
- Picked it up on the moon, eh?
143
00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,592
- Yes, sir.
144
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:03,340
- Flew to the moon
in your own spaceship.
145
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,508
- You should have seen it.
146
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,743
- Oh, I'd love to.
147
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,745
You happen to have
it around anywhere?
148
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:09,912
- No, sir.
149
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:12,081
On the way back it
landed in Tipson's swamp
150
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,483
and it sank.
151
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,352
- What a shame.
152
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:16,586
- It sure was.
153
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,555
All the time and money
he put into building it.
154
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:22,625
- I got the plans out
of Popular Mechanics.
155
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,561
- Now why didn't the
government think of that?
156
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,028
- I don't know.
157
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:30,132
They do things their
way and I do things mine.
158
00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:32,001
Would you like to
buy my moon rock?
159
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,002
- Oh, it's for sale?
160
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,303
- Yes, sir.
161
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,227
I only want $14 for it.
162
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,797
- Oh, oh, now I see.
163
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:44,781
This whole story is
just to raise $14, huh?
164
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,649
- He needs the $14
for materials for his
165
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,752
new infrared laser beam.
166
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,420
- What does that do?
167
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:54,524
- I can't tell until I
get the $14 to build it.
168
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,058
- Well, Dink, I think
you're gonna have
169
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,895
to get your financing
somewhere else.
170
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,530
Thank you.
171
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:05,668
- Don't worry, Dinky.
172
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:06,703
I think I know somebody
who would love
173
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,071
to buy your moon rock.
174
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,073
- You bought the
rock from Dinky?
175
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,277
- Well, he's the only one I
know who's selling moon rocks.
176
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,278
- But Lisa.
177
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:16,813
- It only cost $14.
178
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,915
- It's not worth 14 cents.
179
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,350
It's just a rock he
picked up somewhere.
180
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,541
- On the moon.
181
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:26,589
- He was not, he's just a kid
182
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,625
with an overactive imagination.
183
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,981
- I believe him.
184
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,194
- Lisa, if you want to believe
185
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,330
that Dinky picked that
rock up on the moon,
186
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,566
you go right ahead.
187
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:48,845
Lisa, will you
turn off the light.
188
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,780
- But I want to look at my rock.
189
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,048
- That's all you
been doing all day,
190
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,917
staring at the stupid thing.
191
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,585
- Well, it's fascinating.
192
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:59,522
Just think that this came
from out of this world.
193
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:00,790
- Yeah, I can see
where you would
194
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,626
have quite an infinity
for a thing like that.
195
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,028
- What does that mean?
196
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,331
- Oh, nothing, please
turn out the light.
197
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,355
- Okay.
198
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:13,570
- What are you doing?
199
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:14,804
- Well, they say
that if you sleep
200
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,305
with a moon rock
under your pillow,
201
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,942
you'll have 15
years of good luck.
202
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,643
- Who says?
203
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,812
- I can't remember his name.
204
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,848
- Could it have
been Flash Gordon?
205
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,270
- That's the one.
206
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,952
- The light.
207
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,475
- Goodnight, dear.
208
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,609
- Oliver.
209
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,899
You're beeping.
210
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,479
- I'm what?
211
00:08:56,503 --> 00:09:00,171
- You made a sound like
beep, beep, beep, beep.
212
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:04,253
- Would you please go to sleep.
213
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,277
- Yes, dear.
214
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,358
Oliver, you're beeping again.
215
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:22,794
- That's not me.
216
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:24,863
What is that?
217
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,240
- Oliver.
218
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,622
It's coming from this.
219
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:41,323
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
220
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,347
It couldn't.
221
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,396
- And you didn't believe
it was a moon rock.
222
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,632
- Oh, it's not a.
223
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:50,833
- Well, did you ever hear of
224
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:54,303
an earth rock beeping like this?
225
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,705
- Dinky's probably got
some kind of an electronic
226
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,674
gadget in here.
227
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,709
Oh, I think I know.
228
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,644
You remember that
ring that Ebb had?
229
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:04,603
Hello, Dinky, this
his Mr. Douglas.
230
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:08,618
It's a very funny joke,
but would you mind
231
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:12,421
shutting off the beep so
we can get some sleep?
232
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:20,753
Thank you.
233
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,202
Good night.
234
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,504
Good night.
235
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,506
- All right Dinky,
how do you do it?
236
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:31,540
- Do what?
237
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,643
- Make the rock beep.
238
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,812
- I didn't make the rock beep.
239
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:39,281
- It was probably calling
to its mother on the moon.
240
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,283
- Will you stay out of this.
241
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,785
- All right, now come on.
242
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:43,920
A joke's a joke.
243
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,154
What did you put in here?
244
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,656
One of those little
radio receivers?
245
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,891
- No, sir, I didn't
put anything in it.
246
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:52,261
That's just the way I
picked it up on the moon.
247
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,529
- Now, Dinky, I'm not
gonna ask you to give
248
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,531
back my wife's $14.
249
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,667
I just want you to tell
me what you have in here
250
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:59,636
that makes it beep.
251
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:00,660
- Nothing.
252
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:07,110
- Well, there's one
way to find out about it.
253
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:12,782
- Whoa, they sure make
those moon rocks to last.
254
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:13,806
- Try this.
255
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,890
- You didn't even
make a dent in it.
256
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,424
Now do you believe him?
257
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:23,614
- No, I don't.
258
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:27,897
- Well, Mr. Douglas,
how are you?
259
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,498
- Fine, fine doctor.
260
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,467
- And how's the
beautiful wife of yours?
261
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,036
- She's fine, too.
262
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,370
- I'm sorry to hear that.
263
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,939
Business hasn't
been too good lately.
264
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:42,545
I heard that on one of
those TV medical shows.
265
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:46,738
This patient came in with
severe intravenous conjalitis.
266
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,418
- What is that?
267
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,320
- I don't know, they make
up their own diseases.
268
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,956
Well, what can I do for you?
269
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:58,149
- Well, doctor, I want you
to take a look at this for me.
270
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:04,901
- Well, that's a
pretty nice gallstone.
271
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,336
Did you take it out yourself?
272
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,906
- No, no, it's not a gallstone.
273
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:12,175
I want you to x-ray it for me.
274
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:13,209
- Is it sick?
275
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,610
- No.
276
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:18,181
You see there's
something peculiar about it.
277
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,704
It beeps at night.
278
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,253
- There's been a lot
of that going around.
279
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,421
- Look, I'm serious.
280
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,989
I heard it beep.
281
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,192
- Why don't you stand
behind the machine,
282
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:30,626
put the rock on your head
283
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:34,097
and we'll kill two
birds with one stone?
284
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,298
- Doctor, I know it
sounds a little nutty,
285
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:38,167
but it does beep.
286
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:41,370
You see, it's supposed to be a
rock that came from the moon.
287
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,372
- Let me take your temperature.
288
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:47,076
- Doc, now please, just
x-ray the rock for me.
289
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,277
You know, I'm sure there's
some sort of a mechanism
290
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,213
in there that makes it beep.
291
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:53,404
- Okay, if it'll make
you feel better.
292
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,054
- Well?
293
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,255
- Nothing in it.
294
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,656
It's all rock.
295
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,758
- Are you sure?
296
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,259
- Positive.
297
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,795
- Well, that's impossible,
I heard it beep.
298
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,163
- I tell you what.
299
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,999
The beeping will stop
in a couple of days
300
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:13,424
if you just take two
of these every hour.
301
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,809
- There was nothing in it?
302
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,277
- Nope.
303
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,579
- Now maybe you believe
it's what Dinky said it was.
304
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:24,814
- I'll never believe that.
305
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,582
It's gotta be some
kind of a trick.
306
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,617
- All right, how does it work?
307
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,386
- I haven't the faintest idea.
308
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,325
- Howdy!
309
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,493
- Hello there, Mr. Haney.
310
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,995
- Hello, Mrs. Douglas.
311
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,097
Gosh all hemlock,
you look as pretty
312
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:44,167
as a rabbit with
silver lined ears.
313
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,002
- Why, thank you Mr. Haney.
314
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,304
- Never mind the
flattering, Mr. Haney.
315
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,606
We're not gonna buy anything.
316
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,241
- Mr. Douglas, how
can you stand there
317
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,277
with your gallstone in your hand
318
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,813
and say a thing like that?
319
00:13:56,837 --> 00:14:00,349
- That's not a gallstone,
that's a moon rock.
320
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,852
- May I see it please?
321
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,120
- Mr. Haney.
322
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:07,556
- I'm afraid this is
just a cheap imitation.
323
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,580
- Imitation?
324
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:13,229
- Yeah, see it says right
there, made in Japan.
325
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,964
- Made in, I don't see it.
326
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,966
- I hope you didn't
pay too much for that.
327
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:17,990
- $14.
328
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,502
- What a shame.
329
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,205
When for just a few dollars more
330
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:25,708
you could have bought
yourself a genuine moon rock.
331
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,410
- Oh, and I suppose you have it?
332
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,079
- Well, I just might.
333
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,413
Let's take a look.
334
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:37,987
Well, you are in luck.
335
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:41,557
I happen to have a
very fine selection today.
336
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,026
- You mean, these
are all moon rocks?
337
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,362
- Well, now, I'd be
fibbing if I'd said they was.
338
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,465
Them two big ones
are Mars rocks.
339
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,554
- Mars rocks?
340
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:55,972
- Hurled at me by an
unfriendly flying saucer.
341
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,173
- Oh, boy.
342
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,942
- They don't look
like the ones we have.
343
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,043
- That's 'cause
most of these come
344
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,634
from the dark side of the moon.
345
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:07,616
- Oh, how were they found?
346
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,852
- With a flashlight.
347
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,087
- Oh, you.
348
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,321
- Oliver, maybe
we ought to buy one
349
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,690
in case the one
we have isn't real.
350
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:15,958
- Oh, buy one.
351
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:19,661
You can pick them
up anywhere, here.
352
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:21,419
- Oh, may I see that?
353
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,100
Just as I thought.
354
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,856
Made in East Germany.
355
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,905
- Mr. Haney, I'm losing my.
356
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,639
- Now since you folks
seem to have a hobby
357
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,741
of collecting space stones,
358
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,143
I'll tell you what I'll do.
359
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,112
I'll let you have all of these,
360
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:39,137
including the two
Mars rocks for $87
361
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,019
and I'll throw in
this pile of moon dirt
362
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:47,756
that was dug up from a
crater in the Sea of Tranquility.
363
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,847
- I wouldn't give you $5.
364
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:51,961
- Do I hear seven?
365
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:52,962
- Seven.
366
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:53,986
- Sold.
367
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,065
- Mr. Haney, we don't want any
368
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,633
of your grubby granite.
369
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,402
Now just take it
and get out of here.
370
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,870
- Very well, may I
have my dollar please?
371
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,105
- For what?
372
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,107
- Well, the admission
to the moon exhibit
373
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,797
is 50 cents a piece.
374
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:08,945
- Beat it!
375
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,820
Lisa, did you?
376
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:20,789
- Oliver, Mr. Haney
wasn't telling the truth.
377
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,091
- Hmm?
378
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:26,095
- It doesn't say made
in Japan on this rock.
379
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,863
- Of course it doesn't.
380
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,621
- Then it must
be the real thing.
381
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:35,171
- Lisa, I have had that
silly rock up to here.
382
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,905
I haven't been able
to do any work all day.
383
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:38,930
Now what?
384
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,483
- Hello there Arnold.
385
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,552
- Well, that's all I need,
the Tiny Tim of the hog set.
386
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:54,745
- He came over here to
take a look at the moon rock.
387
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:58,961
- Maybe you can sell it to him
388
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,330
and get your $14 back.
389
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,731
- Don't pay any
attention to him.
390
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,900
He's a sorehead.
391
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,271
That's right, take a
good look at it Arnold.
392
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:13,331
Do that again.
393
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:18,570
- Oliver!
394
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:21,650
- What's the matter?
395
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,886
- Arnold is talking to the rock.
396
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,721
- Oh, isn't that sweet.
397
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,059
- And the rock is answering him.
398
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,495
- Lisa, I think you flipped you.
399
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,334
- No, I've flipped mine.
400
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:39,835
- Now, how do you explain that?
401
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,337
- I'm not even gonna try.
402
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,309
I left the city so
I could get away
403
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,412
from the insanity
of living there.
404
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,914
I bought a farm so I could
have peace and quiet.
405
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,015
What do I end up with?
406
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:54,650
A pig talking to a rock.
407
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:01,590
Will you two stop that?
408
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:02,824
I mean I'm getting out of here
409
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,450
before I become
a gibbering idiot.
410
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,699
- Oh, would you mind closing
the door so I can knock?
411
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,501
- Why don't you just come in?
412
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,937
- Then how would
you know who it is.
413
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,505
- Somebody'll tell me.
414
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,341
- Oh, hello there, Mr. Kimball.
415
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,809
- Oh, hello there Mrs. Douglas.
416
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,878
What are you doing here?
417
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,213
- I live here.
418
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,847
- Oh, that's where I am.
419
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,149
- Mr. Kimball, would you like?
420
00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:28,451
- I'm not interrupting
anything am I?
421
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,585
- Oh, no.
422
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,320
Arnold was just
talking to my moon rock.
423
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:32,344
- Oh?
424
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,591
- Maybe you'd
like to talk to it.
425
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:39,283
- Gee, I never talked
to a moon rock before.
426
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,656
Hello there moon rock.
427
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,905
Not very friendly, is it?
428
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,740
- It is to Arnold.
429
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,212
- I have to be dreaming
430
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,236
or am I coming unhinged?
431
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,683
- That's strange it
would just beep at Arnold.
432
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,018
- Yes, it is.
433
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:06,522
- When we first got it,
it just beeped at night.
434
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:10,025
- Oh, well, my aunt had a
rock that beeped at night.
435
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:12,694
No, that was my
uncle that beeped.
436
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:15,264
No, he didn't beep, he burped.
437
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:19,001
Well, you see he ate
this heavy food and it bleh.
438
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:21,003
- I know the feeling.
439
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,938
- What feeling?
440
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,641
- The one he gets when he?
441
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,610
- How did you manage
to cop this Mr. Douglas.
442
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,311
- What do you mean cop it?
443
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,113
- Well, the space agency
had a traveling exhibit
444
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,249
of moon rocks the
astronauts brought back
445
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,050
on display at the State Capitol.
446
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,452
- Oh?
447
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,719
- If i remember correctly,
448
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:40,322
one of them looked
exactly like this.
449
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,490
- I wonder.
450
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:42,891
- You wonder what?
451
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,426
- Well, it's just
possible that Dinky took.
452
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:45,861
- Oliver, what a terrible thing
453
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,718
to accuse somebody of.
454
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,099
- Lisa, I have never
believed that wild story
455
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,636
Dinky told us about
how he got the rock.
456
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,638
I never believe
it's a moon rock.
457
00:19:55,662 --> 00:20:00,042
But if it is, then Mr. Kimball's
idea makes sense.
458
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,066
- It does?
459
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,946
Say, I better ask for raise.
460
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,248
- Yeah, you ask for a.
461
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:07,449
- What are you going to do?
462
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,117
- I'm going to call
the space agency
463
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:11,141
and ask them if one of
their moon rocks is missing.
464
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,979
You dirty rock, you.
465
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,960
- No, ma'am, our
astronauts did not see
466
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,984
your mother on the moon.
467
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,666
What?
468
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,033
Yes, I'll be sure
to tell the next crew
469
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,270
that goes up there
to look for her.
470
00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:31,729
You're welcome and
thank you for calling.
471
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,543
What is there about
the moon that brings
472
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,334
out all the dingbats.
473
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,183
Hello, NASA public relations
office, Wilson speaking.
474
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:44,220
- Hello, yes, my name is
Oliver Wendell Douglas.
475
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:45,787
- Yes, sir, how may we help you.
476
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,656
- Well, I'd like to
ask you a question.
477
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,924
- Yes, sir.
478
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,026
- Do you have all
of your moon rocks?
479
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,995
- Yes, sir, do you
have all of yours?
480
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,297
- I beg your pardon.
481
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:58,267
- No offense, just why
did you want to know.
482
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:02,471
- Well, it's possible that
I may have a moon rock.
483
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:05,307
- Oh, and just how
did you acquire it?
484
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,743
- Well, there's this
boy in town who claims
485
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,245
he built a rocket
and went to the moon
486
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,313
and he brought back this rock,
487
00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:14,283
which he sold to
my wife for $14.
488
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:15,917
- Well, I think she
got a good buy.
489
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,954
We figure that our rocks
cost us about 48 million
490
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,789
dollars a piece.
491
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,058
- Well, I don't want
you to thin I believe this
492
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:26,595
silly story, but there
is something strange
493
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,364
about this rock.
494
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:29,365
- What's that?
495
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,734
- It beeps at night.
496
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:33,924
- Oh, it's a night beeper.
497
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:37,339
It doesn't beep during the day.
498
00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:40,942
- Well, yes, it did beep
at Arnold a little while ago.
499
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,344
- Arnold?
500
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:44,112
Is that your wife?
501
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,348
- No, no, Arnold's a pig.
502
00:21:46,372 --> 00:21:50,308
He oinked at the rock
and the rock beeped back.
503
00:21:52,111 --> 00:21:53,855
- The pig oinked at the rock
504
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,091
and the rock beeped back.
505
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:58,560
Would you care
to take this call?
506
00:21:58,584 --> 00:21:59,961
- Look, can I ask you something?
507
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:02,085
What would make rock beep?
508
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:06,502
- Well, I would say
about three martinis.
509
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,637
- Look, I don't want
any sarcasm now.
510
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,172
This rock does beep.
511
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:12,007
- Or maybe somebody
put something in it.
512
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:14,743
- No, no, I took it to the
doctor and had it x-rayed.
513
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:16,478
- What kind of a doctor?
514
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,246
- A general practitioner.
515
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,482
- That's where you
made your mistake.
516
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:24,386
You should have
taken it to a rock doctor.
517
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:26,221
- Look I called
you in good faith.
518
00:22:26,245 --> 00:22:28,223
Now can you help me or not?
519
00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:30,025
- I think we can.
520
00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:32,383
Why don't you call 555-2368?
521
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:34,963
- Now what is that?
522
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:36,998
- Alcoholics Anonymous.
523
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,022
Goodbye.
524
00:22:38,791 --> 00:22:39,935
- Hello!
525
00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:40,959
Hello!
526
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:42,961
Miserable.
527
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:48,009
- Oliver, you better come
down and see what's happening.
528
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,045
The rock is oinking
at Arnold and Arnold
529
00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:52,681
is beeping at the rock.
530
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:53,705
- Great.
531
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:55,917
- Well, aren't you coming down?
532
00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:58,587
- Never, never, never.
533
00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:17,961
That does it.
534
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:22,944
- What are you going to do?
535
00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:24,312
- Get rid of this.
536
00:23:24,336 --> 00:23:25,914
- Oh, but Oliver.
537
00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:28,517
- Either this rock goes or I go.
538
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,819
- But where would you
go at this time of the night?
539
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:34,656
- Have we got a cardboard
box big enough to hold this?
540
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,024
- What are you
going to do with it?
541
00:23:36,048 --> 00:23:37,559
- I'm going to
mail it to Houston
542
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:40,028
and let NASA worry about it.
543
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:41,363
- Very interesting.
544
00:23:41,387 --> 00:23:42,631
Where did this come from?
545
00:23:42,655 --> 00:23:44,833
- Some fellow in
Hooterville sent it.
546
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:45,934
He called a couple of days ago
547
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:47,403
and said he had a moon rock.
548
00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:49,905
- He's right, it is a moon rock.
549
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,273
- But Dr. Stoddard, it can't be.
550
00:23:51,297 --> 00:23:53,397
This joke said it beeped.
551
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:55,977
- He said what?
552
00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:57,946
- That the rock beeped.
553
00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:59,515
He was obviously stoned.
554
00:23:59,539 --> 00:24:01,238
No pun intended, sir.
555
00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:04,887
- Wilson, you have security
clearance, don't you?
556
00:24:04,911 --> 00:24:07,188
- The very highest, sir.
557
00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:08,390
- Come here.
558
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:16,698
You know what those are?
559
00:24:16,722 --> 00:24:18,099
- Well, those are
some of the rocks
560
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:20,068
that our astronauts
collected on their mission.
561
00:24:20,092 --> 00:24:23,104
- Right, simulated moonlight.
562
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:32,314
- But Dr. Stoddard, I
didn't know that the rocks.
563
00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:35,150
- Nobody knows except
you and me and the President
564
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:39,109
and he doesn't feel
the public is ready for it.
565
00:25:30,462 --> 00:25:34,632
This has been a Filmways
Presentation darling.
36926
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