All language subtitles for Green Acres - S05E20 - The Confrontation.eng

♪ Green Acres is the place to be

♪ Farm living is the life for me

♪ Land spreading
out so far and wide

♪ Keep Manhattan, just
give me that countryside

♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay

♪ I get allergic smelling hay

♪ I just adore a penthouse view

♪ Darling I love you,
but give me Park Avenue

♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air

♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife

♪ Goodbye city life

♪ Green Acres, we are there

- Members of the school board.

- Members of the school board.

- Tonight, we're going
to install a new president.

- New president.

- Hank, do you have to
repeat everything I say?

- Well, I'm the secretary.

I have to take the
minutes of the meeting.

- Well, do it quietly.

- Do it quietly.

- To yourself.

- To yourself.

- Will you shush?

- How do you spell shush?

- Forget the minutes.

- Very well.

- Go on, Haney.

- Now, where was I?

- Do it quietly to yourself.

Why would I want to
do it quietly to myself?

- Anyway, whatever
I was gonna say,

I was gonna end up
by introducing to you

the principal of the
Hooterville Elementary School,

Mr. Harvey Jackson.

- Members of the school board.

- Haney already said that.

Members of the
school board, yeah.

- Yes, yes.

- Why don't you try
ladies and gentlemen?

Nobody's used that yet.

- Go on, Mr. Jackson.

- Well, I just wanted
to say that I'm sure

you share my admiration
for our departing president,

Mr. Sam Drucker.

The school owes
Mr. Drucker many things.

Among which is this tape
recorder that Willy's operating.

Indeed, we owe him for
many long years of service,

during which this school
has operated smoothly

and efficiently with
not one bit of trouble.

And now, I know that
we'd all like to hear a word

from our outgoing
president, Mr. Sam Drucker.

- Thank you, Willy.

Members of the school
board and Mr. Jackson.

I come here tonight
with a heavy heart.

After 27 years of
school boarding,

the thought of leaving
brings tears to my ears.

But then I really have
nothing to be sad about

because I have so
many pleasant memories.

The laughter of the
little children's voices...

Let's have some more booze.

- Willard, where
did you get that?

- I recorded it at the
last PTA meeting.

- What?

- Don't you remember?

We were rehearsing
that play about the,

no it was the one about the,

no, it wasn't that one either.

- Forget it.

Well, I really don't have
too much more to say

so I'll just turn over
my gavel to your

new president, Mr. Oliver
Wendell Douglas.

Mr. Douglas.

- Mr. Jackson, Mr. Drucker
and members of the

Hooterville School Board.

I'd like to tell you some
of the ideas I have...

Under the circumstances, I
declare this meeting adjourned.

- Would you like to have some
cookies to dunk in the milk?

Mr. President?

- No thanks.

- I hear the fella in
the Vikers is a dunker.

- Fine.

- What else would
you like, Mr. President?

- Will you stop calling me that?

- Well, you're the president
of the school broad.

- Board.

- Oh, I was a little
worried when you were

late coming home
from your meeting.

- I had to help them
find the fuse box.

- What was wrong with the fuses?

- Oh, they had
this tape recorder...

- Congratulations,
Mr. President.

♪ Hail to the chief

♪ Dum dum dum
dum dum dum dum dum

- Will you knock it off?

- Golly, if this ain't
democracy at its best.

Our president,
sitting in the kitchen,

in his shirt sleeves,
dunking cookies.

- I'm not,

look, did you get out
of bed just to bug me?

- No, sir.

- Would you like some milk?

- Did you hear that?

His chief executiveship invited
me to break bread with him.

- Would you like some cookies?

- No thank you,
your First Ladyship.

- Will you sit down?

- Yes.

- Oh Oliver, we
are so proud of you.

- We certainly are.

Tell me, do you get
much graft in this office?

- Oh yeah, millions of dollars.

- Ooh, I didn't know it
was such a good job.

- Look, I'm just president
of the school board.

It's almost an honorary job.

The school system in
Hooterville practically runs itself.

In the 27 years
Mr. Drucker's been president,

he didn't have
one bit of trouble.

- But you're gonna change that.

- I'm not going to
change anything.

As far as the Hooterville
school system is concerned,

I'm going to do
everything I can to see

that they get
whatever they need.

But as far as trouble is
concerned, I don't want any.

I don't need any and
I don't anticipate any.

- All right, students,
now before we start

our spelling lesson, I have
an announcement to make.

I have a letter from the
County Board of Education

regarding the
student's art contest.

They're going to complete
the judging sometime this week.

Now, wouldn't it be
wonderful if one of the

students in our
class should win?

All right, Arnold, be quiet.

- Ms. Maxwell, Ms. Maxwell.

I think Arnold wants to know
if you sent his painting in.

- Yes, I did.

It was a waste of postage.

Well anyway, let's get
on with our spelling lesson.

Today we're going
to learn a new word.

Porcupine.

It has nothing to
do with you, Arnold.

It isn't that kind of pork.

All right now, children,
please be quiet.

I'm going to write the new
word on the blackboard

and I want you all to
copy it into your notebooks.

- Ms. Maxwell, Arnold
forgot his notebook.

- All right, Arnold.

Just for that, you
can stay after school

and write on the
blackboard 100 times.

I will not forget my notebook.

Now, here is the word.

P,

O, R, C, U...

- Ms. Maxwell, Ms. Maxwell.

- What's the matter, Veronica?

- Arnold's eating my lunch.

- Arnold, you are a disruptive
influence in this class.

And if I have anymore
trouble with you,

you're going to the
principal's office.

P, I...

All right, now who did that?

I might have known.

All right, Arnold, let's go
to the principal's office.

- Oh, Mr. Ziffel, how are you?

- Disastrous.

- Huh?

- Can I come in or
must I stand out here

and flap my gums at you?

- Oh come in, come in, yes.

Mr. Ziffel, here, sit down.

You look a little shaken.

- Yeah, I am.

- Yeah?

Would you like a little drink?

Scotch, bourbon?

- Oh, scotch and
bourbon will be fine.

- I meant...
- Hello there, Mr. Ziffel.

I thought it was you.

- Hello, Mrs. Douglas.

Excuse me for not getting up.

My legs are a little shaky.

- Oh, why that's all right.

Would you like to have a drink?

Brandy, vodka?

- Oh, brandy and
vodka would be fine.

- What's wrong, Mr. Ziffel?

- It's terrible,
Mr. Douglas, it's terrible.

- We don't have
any brandy vodka.

All we have is gin and rye.

- Oh, gin and
rye, that'll be fine.

You know what
happened to Arnold?

He was expostulated from school.

- Expostulated?

I believe you mean expelled.

- Well, whatever I meant,
they throwed him out.

- Arnold was expectulated?

That's terrible.

- Mr. Douglas, I want to
hire your legal services

to get Arnold back in school.

- Why did they
expoctulate Arnold?

- For pea shooting the teacher.

- Then they had a right to
expoculate, to expellicate...

- Oh Mr. Douglas, they
just used that as an excuse.

They've been trying to get
rid of Arnold for a long time.

- Why?

- Prejudice, that's why.

Just because Arnold
don't look like the rest

of the kids, they're
out to get him.

- Oh, that's
absolutely ridiculous.

- Oh, is it?

Then why are they
always trying to bus him

over to sit in corners?

- Mr. Ziffel, Arnold is a pig.

- There goes some
more of that prejudice.

- I'm not prejudiced.

- How would you like it
if your son had four legs

and everybody made fun of him?

- Mr. Ziffel, to you,
Arnold may be like a son.

But unfortunately, to
the world, he's an animal.

- Are you gonna represent
Arnold or ain't you?

- Even if I wanted
to, I couldn't.

I'm president of the
school board now and I

can't be on both
sides of an issue.

- I see.

You're anti-Arnold
and pro-establishment.

- Mr. Ziffel.

Let me see if I can
make some sense out of

this situation for you.

Now, they let Arnold
go to school because

he's the class mascot.

Now, he's causing trouble.

They have a right
to throw him out.

- Mr. Douglas, you are
just like all those politicians.

The minute you get
elected president,

you forget who your friends are.

- I haven't forgotten who my...

- Well then, why don't you
do something for Arnold?

- All right, I'll tell you what.

I'll talk to the
principal and see if

I can straighten it out.

I'm not disputing the teacher.

But it's a little hard
to believe that the pig

could put a pea
shooter in his mouth

and shoot a pea at her.

- But Mr. Douglas, Arnold
is a very clever child.

Pig.

Would you believe
that he did that painting?

Abraham Lincoln?

- No, no, the
painting next to it.

- I don't believe it.

- Look at his signature,
down on the lower corner.

- How could he...

- He calls it Nude at
a Watering Trough.

- That's beside the point.

You know how Mr. Ziffel
feels about Arnold.

He's very upset
about this and I think

you can find a way
to reinstate him.

- Is that an order from the
president of the school board?

- No, no.

I'm just discussing it with you.

You're the principal, you
have to make the decision.

- Then I'm sorry, I think
it's best for the class

to leave things as they are.

- Very well, Mr. Jackson.

Thank you for your time.

I talked to Mr. Jackson
but it's no use.

- Well, why didn't you
lean on him a little?

Use the old muscle.

- I'm a member of
the school board,

not a member of the mafia.

- Well, they'd give any
other child a chance.

- Look, for the last time.

He's not a child, he's a pig.

And I don't want to
hear anymore about it.

- But Arnold is very
sensitive and talented.

Did you ever see
that painting he did?

Nude in a Flowerpot?

- I believe the title
of the painting was

Nude at a Watering Trough.

- No no, that was another nude.

All together, he's done six
nudes at different places.

- Well then, he shouldn't
be allowed in school

with all these nice little kids.

He's nothing
but a dirty old pig.

- Oliver.

- I don't want to hear
anymore about it.

This is the end of
the whole matter.

♪ We want Arnold
♪ We want Arnold

What's that?

- It sounds like the We
Want Arnold fun club.

♪ We want Arnold
♪ We want Arnold

♪ We want Arnold
♪ We want Arnold

♪ We want Arnold

- All right, all
right, all right.

Quiet, quiet.

♪ We want Arnold Lisa, Lisa.

All right now, what are
you kids doing here?

- As president of
the school board,

we want you to get
Arnold back in our class.

- Well, I just talked
to your principal

and he doesn't want
to reinstate Arnold.

- You should've leaned on him.

Use a little of the old muscle.

- That's what I said.

- Lisa, please.

I'd like to help you
but your principal

makes the rules, you know.

And you have to abide by them.

Otherwise, authority
breaks down.

We have chaos.

You know, like in
some of those colleges

where the students sat down
and refused to go to class?

Use coercion on
the school authorities.

You understand?

- We sure do, and thank you.

♪ We want Arnold
♪ We want Arnold

♪ We want Arnold
- Children, stop it.

Stop it now, quiet.

What do you children
think you're doing?

- This is a sit out.

- Where did you
get that silly idea?

- From Mr. Douglas.

- What?

- He told us to sit
down and coercion you.

- Children, I want you to
get on your feet immediately

and get back to the classroom.

- Hitler.

- Who said that?

Back to the classroom.

- Not without Arnold.

- Either you obey or
suffer the consequences.

- Are you gonna call
out the National Guard?

- Children, I am warning
you for the last time.

Get back to your classroom.

♪ We want Arnold
♪ We want Arnold

♪ We want Arnold
♪ We want Arnold

Mr. Douglas, I am
surprised at you.

Telling those little
children to refuse

to go to the classroom
and to try to coerce me

into changing my mind.

- No, I didn't advise
them to do that.

I was really using some
of those college riots

as an example.

- Well, they followed it.

- Good for them.

- Lisa.

- Well, you always
said if there is something

worthwhile fighting for,
you should fight for it.

- Yeah, well...

- Remember that time at Harvard?

When you led all the
kids against the dean

because there weren't any
paper towels in the washroom?

- Oh, there were paper towels.

We needed...

- Oh, you're an
experienced troublemaker.

- I'm not experienced.

Look, Mr. Jackson, why
don't you be magnanimous

about the whole thing?

Let Arnold go back to class.

- I cannot yield
to mob violence.

- Mob violence?

They're a bunch
of nice little kids.

- They were before you
made a mob out of them.

- Oh, Mr. Jackson...

- Douglas, you
started this trouble.

Now you end it.

- Well, what are
you going to do now?

- I'm going to the town
and talk to Mr. Drucker.

Maybe he'll have some
idea for working this out.

- Well, why should he?

He doesn't care if the
kids have paper towels.

- See you later.

- Mr. Douglas, I
got to hand it to you.

I was president of the
school board for 27 years.

- 27 years.

- And in all that time, I
never had one bit of trouble.

- Bit of trouble.

- But you've only been in
office for one day, and pow.

- Is that a capital
pow or a little pow?

- Hank, what are you doing?

- I'm taking down the minutes.

- This isn't a meeting.

- Well, Sam mentioned
the school board

and I'm the secretary.
- Take the notes in your head.

- Won't that hurt?

- Mr. Drucker, I thought
you might be able

to help me solve this.

Have you got any suggestions?

- I do.

Why don't you let the
kids have the paper towels?

- They don't want paper towels.

They want Arnold.

- Well, they'll never be able
to dry their hands on him.

- Oh, for the love of...

- Mr. Douglas, I'm
sure this whole thing

will blow over in no time.

- Mr. Douglas, what
are you doing here?

- Why shouldn't I be here?

- You should be over
to school for the riot.

- What riot?

- Mr. Jackson just
called the sheriff.

- All right now kids, come on.

We've all had our fun.

Let's go on back to class.

♪ We want Arnold
♪ We want Arnold

Hold it, hold it.

Hold it now.

Now, let's talk
this out peaceably.

Now, who's your spokesman?

- He is.

- Oh, you're their leader.

- No.

- What's your name, boy?

- Douglas.

Oliver Wendell Douglas, and I...

- Ain't a country name, son.

Where you from?

- Well, I moved out
here from New York.

- Oh, one of them
outside agitators.

- I'm not an agitator.

- Ain't you the one
that led that paper towel

riot at Harvard?

- That was...

- What's our next
move, Mr. Douglas?

- Your next move is
back in the classroom.

Otherwise I'm gonna
get the paddy wagon

and take you all to the pokey.

- Just a second.

Look, these are
little kids, you can't...

- You interfering
with the law, son?

- No, but...
- You're on school property.

- I'm the president
of the school board.

- Doggone.

You fellas infiltrate
everywhere, don't you?

- Now, you listen to
me, you knucklehead.

- That did it.

Now, you come
along with me, boy.

- Just see here.

- Let him hit you, Mr. Douglas.

It'll make a great picture
for the school paper.

- I don't want him to hit me.

Look kids, you told the
sheriff that I'm your leader?

- Right.

- Then you'll do just as I say.

I want you all to go
back into your classroom.

- And burn it?

- No, I just want you
to go back into class

and continue
studying and I'll have

one more shot at Mr. Jackson.

- Did you say shot, son?

- No.

Look, I'll just try talking
to him once more.

- No.

- But Mr. Jackson...

- No, I've made
my position clear.

Nothing's going to make me
change my mind about that pig.

Hello?

Yes.

Yes.

We did?

Well, that's wonderful.

One of our students won
the student's artist contest.

Which student was it?

What?

Guess who won.

Yes, that'll be
just peachy dandy.

How do you like that?

2,000 entries and Arnold's
Nude to the Filling Station

won first prize.

- It's a little hard to believe.

- The head of the
County Board of Education

is coming to our school
tomorrow to award

the prize to Arnold in person.

- But Arnold's no
longer a student here.

- Oh, that's right.

Well, now maybe I've
been too hard on the boy.

After all, boys will be boys.

Yeah, I'm sure that he's
learned his lesson by now.

- Oh, I'm sure he has.

Well, if it isn't Porky
Picasso, the painter

of a million nudes.

- Oh, Oliver.

Congratulation, Arnold.

Mr. Ziffel, you must
be a very proud father.

Are you going to be
in school tomorrow

when he gets his prize?

- Well, there's a little bit
of a hangup about that.

- Oh, what kind of a hangup?

- Arnold ain't going
back to school.

- Why not?

- Not unless he gets an
apology from Mr. Jackson.

- An apology?

Why should Mr. Jackson
apologize to him?

- For all the nasty
things he accused him of.

- Oh, Mr. Ziffel, I don't
think there's any way

you can get
Mr. Jackson to apologize.

♪ Apologize, apologize

♪ Apologize to Arnold

- Well Douglas,
you've done it again.

- Done what?

- Stirred up the children.

- I didn't.

- I suppose you wrote
that chant for them.

- Mr. Jackson, I'm
getting a little tired

of being accused of
being a troublemaker.

All I'm here for is to
tell you what Arnold told,

what Mr. Ziffel
told me to tell you.

- Well, you can tell
Mr. Ziffel and Arnold

that I refuse to apologize.

- Uh huh, well that's up to you.

When the head of the
County Board of Education

gets here tomorrow, you can
explain the whole thing to him.

- I will.

- You can have the
ceremony on the front lawn.

Of course, Arnold won't be here.

But the kids will be
chanting their little message

in the background
while the head of the

Board of Education
stands there, chopping off

the appropriation
for your school.

- Appropriations?

- Yes, isn't he the man
who doles out the money

for such things as
erasers, chalk, and

principal's salaries?

- Principal's salary?

- Well look, Mr. Jackson,
all you have to do

is make a simple apology.

Nobody has to be here
except you and Arnold.

- Well, I don't
feel like I should...

- Mr. Jackson.

Life is a compromise.

You have to give
a little to get a little.

We all have to do things
that are distasteful to us.

We all want to save face.

But the really big man is the
man who can admit he's wrong.

- Oh, shut up.

- Lisa, do we have to
have that thing in here?

- Oliver, that's
Arnold's masterpiece.

The one he won the prize for.

And he gave it to you
because you led the riot

and got him back into school.

- No, I didn't lead any...

- You know he
has a lot of talent.

- Oh yeah.

A lot of talent.

Nude at a Filling Station.

That's nothing but
a mess of colors.

- Well, you have to
use your imagination.

- I'll be.

Yeah, now I can see it.

There's the station
and there's the, Lisa.

Did you ever buy gas
without your clothes on?

- Where?

- Right there.

Goodnight.

This has been a

Filmways Presentation, darling.