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♪ Green Acres is the place to be
2
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:25,902
♪ Farm livin' is the life for me
3
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:29,906
♪ Land spreadin'
out so far and wide
4
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:34,077
♪ Keep Manhattan, just
give me that countryside
5
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:38,081
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
6
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:42,085
♪ I get allergic smelling hay
7
00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:46,056
♪ I just adore a penthouse view
8
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,249
♪ Darling, I love you,
but give me Park Avenue
9
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:57,334
♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air
10
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,869
♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife
11
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,704
♪ Goodbye city life
12
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:05,297
♪ Green Acres we are there
13
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- Honey bun.
14
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,725
- Hmm?
15
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,761
- I've just been through the
medicine chest in the bathroom
16
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,696
and we need a lot of things.
17
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,231
- Oh, fine.
18
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,732
Make a list, I'll get 'em
when I go into Drucker's.
19
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,270
- Ah, you're a good man,
Oliver Wendell Douglas.
20
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,198
Oliver Wendell?
21
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,311
- Yes?
22
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,280
- Do you need any shampoo?
23
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,514
- I don't know.
24
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,015
- Well, the last time
you took a shower
25
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:49,119
and you squeezed the
tube, did anything come out?
26
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,353
- Yes.
27
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:53,123
- Well, then you don't
need any shampoo.
28
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:56,326
Thank you for your time, O-W-D.
29
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,524
Wendell, baby?
30
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:07,927
- Oh, for.
31
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,839
What now?
32
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,064
- Would you come
here a moment, please?
33
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,033
- What is it?
34
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,484
- Where does this door lead to?
35
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,152
- I haven't the faintest idea.
36
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,521
- You mean you've been
passing by this door for three years
37
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,623
and you don't know
where it's going?
38
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,658
- Well, you've been
passing by it for three years.
39
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,293
You don't know where it's going.
40
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,495
- Well, I'm not supposed to.
41
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:32,519
I'm a woman.
42
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,964
- What does that mean?
43
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:38,335
- That means you yell at
me when I borrow your razor.
44
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,036
- Uh, let's stick to the door.
45
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,671
- All right, where does it go?
46
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,206
- I don't know.
47
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,842
When we bought the house
from Mr. Haney, he didn't tell me.
48
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,344
- And you never asked him?
49
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:51,336
- Oh, I tried it a couple of
times, but it was stuck tight.
50
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,651
I think it's probably
a small closet.
51
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,320
- And that's the end of it?
52
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,588
- Well, no.
53
00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,756
I don't guess it is now
that you've stuck your
54
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,058
cute little Hungarian
nose into it.
55
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,026
- Never mind the nose.
56
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,217
Just try to open the door.
57
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,755
- Hey, it's starting to give.
58
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,775
- Oliver, where are you?
59
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,878
Down here.
60
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,746
- Oh, I'll be right down.
61
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,415
- Be careful.
62
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,350
There's a flight of stairs.
63
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:31,954
- Why would they have a
flight of stairs in a small closet?
64
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:32,989
- It's not a closet.
65
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,691
It's a cellar.
66
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,626
Get a...
67
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,083
Get a flashlight.
68
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,024
- I'm coming.
69
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,445
What is this place?
70
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:59,316
- Oh, it looks like it was
used for a root cellar.
71
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,850
- Well, what is that?
72
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,687
- Farmers used them to
store turnips, and potatoes,
73
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,589
and things like that
through the winter.
74
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,424
- Oh, we have something
like this in Hungary
75
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:10,449
except it was
called goulash cellar.
76
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,929
- Goulash cellar?
77
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,163
- Yes.
78
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,365
My mother used to
fill it up with goulash.
79
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,100
Then, when she
didn't feel like cooking,
80
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:21,271
she would go down in
the cellar and get a potful.
81
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,206
- It sounds very appetizing.
82
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,007
Well, not appetizing.
83
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:29,446
- Well, it's like a TV
dinner, but in the cellar.
84
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,981
- Do you feel a cold draft?
85
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,383
- Yes.
86
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:34,651
- I think there's some
kind of an opening
87
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,575
behind this crate here.
88
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:42,125
Some sort of a...
Some sort of a cave.
89
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,149
Oh.
90
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,018
- Here, give me a light.
91
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,339
- Oh, look at this little thing.
92
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:58,007
It looks like a lantern.
93
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,909
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
94
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,634
Let's get a little
light in here.
95
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,152
- Oh, look at that.
96
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:09,986
- Hey.
97
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,187
- It's a still.
98
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,689
- How do you know?
99
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,091
- Well, my father used
to have one in the palace.
100
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,460
He used to make
bootleg Slivovitz
101
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,196
and smuggled it into Poland.
102
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,731
- Oh, that's very...
103
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,966
- And during the war, the
underground used his booze
104
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,568
to blow up bridges.
105
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,360
It was called
Budapest Bang Bang.
106
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,441
- This must've belonged
to Mr. Haney's father.
107
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:34,311
He probably made bootleg
liqueur during Prohibition.
108
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,435
- Ooh, it's cold in here.
109
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,984
What was that?
110
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,274
- I don't know.
111
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,991
- Do you think
it's safe in here?
112
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:52,195
- Well, this cave must've
been here for over 40 years.
113
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,431
These timbers seem pretty solid.
114
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,758
Look out, Oliver
115
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,777
Gesundheit.
116
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,516
- Oliver, we're trapped.
117
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,917
- Don't panic.
118
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,686
- How are we going to get out?
119
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,488
- We'll dig our way out.
120
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,290
- That's what you always say.
121
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,592
- When did I ever say that?
122
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,461
- Well, what are
you going to dig with?
123
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:28,253
- Oh, there must be
something here I can use.
124
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:35,972
- Didn't you ever take
sand pile in kindergarten?
125
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,763
- The wood is rotten.
126
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,144
Somebody just came in.
127
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,747
- Who is it?
128
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,415
- Well, how would...
- Mr. Douglas?
129
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,549
Mr. Douglas?
130
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,884
- I think it's Eb.
131
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,909
- I guess the old
grouch ain't home.
132
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,484
- Eb!
133
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:04,267
The nut.
134
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,468
He turned on the radio.
135
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:06,936
- Why, that's good.
136
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,305
When he hears on the news
that we are trapped down here,
137
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,875
he'll come down and get us.
138
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,676
- Lisa, please.
139
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:14,700
Eb!
140
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:16,536
- Eb!
141
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,650
- Don't yell in my ear.
142
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:21,584
- Fine.
143
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,319
Would you like me to blow in it?
144
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:24,954
- No.
145
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,289
Eb!
146
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,490
- Oh, boy.
147
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:28,680
Fried chicken.
148
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,298
- Eb!
149
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:40,870
- Man, that drummer
plays a cool kettle drum.
150
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,773
- He's never gonna
hear us with that radio on.
151
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,363
- Oh, look, Oliver.
152
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,478
There is a pipe here.
153
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,947
- Yeah, that cellar was
to the left of the bathroom.
154
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,849
We must be under the kitchen.
155
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,251
I'll bet that's where
this pipe goes.
156
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,156
- He should've
stuck to the drums.
157
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,380
He's nowhere with the vibe.
158
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:06,930
- If I could loosen this, I
might be able to call up to him.
159
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,632
- Do you have his number?
160
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,801
- Just my luck to be
trapped down here with a...
161
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,991
- With a what?
162
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,561
- Hey, I think it's loosening.
163
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,544
Ah.
164
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:22,734
- Oh, my hero.
165
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:29,285
- I better tidy up before
the old crab gets back.
166
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:32,644
- Now, let's see if
he can hear me, huh?
167
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:39,028
- May I ask exactly
what you accomplished?
168
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,118
- Look, Lisa.
169
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,027
- Come in.
170
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,196
Huh.
171
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,376
- Eb!
172
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:58,715
- Oliver, couldn't you
get us out of here first?
173
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:02,852
And then you can drink
all the water you want.
174
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:03,876
- Oh.
175
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,227
- Who's pounding on the pipe?
176
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,195
It's me.
177
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,296
- Who's me?
178
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,132
- Mr. Douglas.
179
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,768
- I'm sorry, he's not here.
180
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,603
- I know he's not.
181
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:22,872
- Is there any message?
182
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,106
- Will you listen?
183
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,797
This is Mr. Douglas.
184
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,412
- What are you
doing in the sink?
185
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:32,771
- We're not in the
sink, we're under it.
186
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,475
- No, you're not!
187
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,356
- Eb, listen to me.
188
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,593
Mrs. Douglas and I are
in some sort of a cave
189
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,127
under the kitchen.
190
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,897
- There's no cave
under the kitchen.
191
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,799
- Yes, there is.
192
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,768
I found an old still down here.
193
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:52,869
- Leave it to you.
194
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,905
You sure have a nose for booze.
195
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,274
- Eb, will you please help us?
196
00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,709
We're trapped.
197
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:00,643
Now, come on down here.
198
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,478
See if you can dig us out.
199
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:03,913
- How do I get down there?
200
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,649
- Walk out of the kitchen
into the living room
201
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:09,986
and turn left and go down
the hall to the bathroom.
202
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:13,089
- I don't have to
go to the bathroom.
203
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,490
- Oh, that miserable.
204
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:17,827
Just before the bathroom
there's another door.
205
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:20,096
It leads to a cellar.
206
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,564
You understand?
207
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:22,398
- Yes, sir.
208
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,089
I'll be right there.
209
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,005
Mr. Douglas?
210
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,473
- What?
211
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,541
- Which way do I turn
when I get to the bathroom?
212
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:35,111
- You don't have to
go to the bathroom.
213
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,647
- That's what I told you.
214
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:41,250
- Eb, just before you
get to the bathroom,
215
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,852
there's another door.
216
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,420
- Oh, I think I know now.
217
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,344
I'll be right with you.
218
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,148
Bathroom.
219
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,967
- What was that?
220
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:01,203
- Sounds like dum dum
fell down the cellar stairs.
221
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,472
- It seems to me there
was another dum dum
222
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,429
who did the same thing.
223
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,845
- Mr. Douglas, where are you?
224
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,514
- We're behind
that pile of rubble.
225
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,049
Can you dig us out?
226
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,018
- Not by myself.
227
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,654
- Well, drive into Drucker's
and get some help.
228
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:18,678
- Yes, sir.
229
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:21,958
Mr. Douglas?
230
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:22,959
- What?
231
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,662
- Can I have the
keys to the car?
232
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:28,064
- Can I have the
keys to the car?
233
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:31,233
- Well, I haven't got them,
I thought you had them.
234
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,570
- When I get... Take
your motor scooter!
235
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:35,471
- Yes, sir.
236
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,661
Don't go away.
237
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,508
- Don't go away.
238
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,410
To think that our
lives may be hanging
239
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,047
by the thin thread
of his intelligence.
240
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:47,050
- Well, that's a
confronting thought.
241
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:03,632
Drucker!
242
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:04,889
- Eb, watch it.
243
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:08,928
Holy smoke.
244
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,480
You all right?
245
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,549
- Yeah, I guess so.
246
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,885
I just hit my head.
247
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,421
- What was your big hurry?
248
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,356
- It was something
very important.
249
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:30,226
Mr. Douglas told me to, uh.
250
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,250
- Yeah?
251
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,763
- I forget.
252
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:36,265
- How about lying
down in the back room?
253
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:39,301
- No, I don't think that's what
Mr. Douglas told me to do.
254
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,370
- How about a doctor?
255
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,806
- What's the
matter, are you sick?
256
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:46,175
- Eb, I think you better come
lie down in the back room
257
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,277
and I'll get a cold
towel for your head.
258
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,301
- Yes, sir.
259
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,639
- Oh.
260
00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:56,285
It's no use.
261
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,888
- I wonder what is
taking Eb so long.
262
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,057
- That's right, he's been
gone over two hours.
263
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,081
Eb!
264
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,994
Eb!
265
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,595
- Oliver, I'm cold.
266
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,497
Couldn't you light a fire?
267
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,466
- And fill this place
up with smoke?
268
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,836
- But, couldn't you
light one without smoke?
269
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,905
- I'm afraid not.
270
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:19,608
- How about plugging
in the electrical heater?
271
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,043
- What electrical heater?
272
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,913
- The one we have
upstairs in the bedroom.
273
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,614
- And just how could I do that?
274
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:29,285
- You could use a
long extension cord.
275
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,922
- The air must be
getting bad down here.
276
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,792
Why don't we do something
to get our blood circulating?
277
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:36,816
- All right.
278
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,130
Are you circulating?
279
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,487
- Yes, but I meant exercise.
280
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,204
- What kind of exercise
did you have in mind?
281
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,228
- You know.
282
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,408
One, two, three, four.
283
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,310
- Kissing is more fun.
284
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,244
- Come on.
285
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,846
One, two, three, four.
286
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,448
One, two, three, four.
287
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:00,472
- Hello?
288
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,619
Anybody home?
289
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,254
- Shh.
290
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,556
I think I heard somebody.
291
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:30,936
Hello?
292
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,216
- Well, I was just, uh.
293
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,240
Well, I was.
294
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,674
Hello?
295
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,159
- To whom am I talking?
296
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,183
- Hello?
297
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,219
- Hello?
298
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,488
- Is that you, Eb?
299
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,835
- No, it's Hank Kimball.
300
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:53,669
- Who is it?
301
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:54,837
- It's Mr. Kimball.
302
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,206
- Oh, I'm glad
somebody showed up.
303
00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,576
- Yeah, but why did
it have to be him?
304
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,178
Mr. Kimball?
305
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:03,079
- Where are ya?
306
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,936
- Go over to the sink.
307
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,939
Talk into the drain.
308
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:13,022
- How are you, drain?
309
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,657
- Oh, isn't that cute?
310
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,427
- Mr. Kimball, can you hear me?
311
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,595
- Oh, yeah.
312
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,563
You're coming
through loud and clear.
313
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,299
Boy, first time I've
ever talked to anybody
314
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,567
through a sink-o-phone.
315
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,158
Well, over and out.
316
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,661
- Who have I offended?
317
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,766
Mr. Kimball, Mrs. Douglas
and I are trapped down here.
318
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,648
We need somebody
to help us get out.
319
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,850
- Well, I'll go get a plumber.
320
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,187
- Mr. Kimball?
321
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,624
Mr. Kim... Oh.
322
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,927
- Oh, there, there.
323
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,383
Tears won't help.
324
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,630
- Oh, Lisa.
325
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,732
- Oh, buck up your chin.
326
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:57,699
- Buck up?
327
00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:58,700
- Oh, come on.
328
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,069
One, two, three, four.
329
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,471
One, two, three, four.
330
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,407
- Feeling any better, Eb?
331
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,942
- A little.
332
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,777
If I can just remember what
Mr. Douglas sent me in for.
333
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,645
- Well, just relax.
334
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,914
It'll come back to you.
335
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,515
- Let me see.
336
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:17,786
I remember listening to
somebody play the kettle drum.
337
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,021
- Just take it easy, Eb.
338
00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:22,291
I'll get you another cold towel.
339
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:25,027
- How long has Eb been gone?
340
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,195
- Over four hours.
341
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:29,065
I can't understand where...
- I'm hungry.
342
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:32,534
Why don't you go to the
pipe and call room service?
343
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:35,972
- You're full of
vittikisms today.
344
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,007
- The word is witticism.
345
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,775
- What difference does it make?
346
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:40,965
We're trapped.
347
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,379
- Yeah, but.
348
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,148
- You know, we might be
right under the refrigerator.
349
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:50,819
There's the cold chicken,
and the ham, and the eggs.
350
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,222
Look, Lisa.
351
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,346
I think somebody came in.
352
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,573
Sounds like Arnold.
353
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,742
- Oh, we're saved.
354
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:17,713
- Only if we can get our hands
on him and make a barbecue.
355
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,682
- What a terrible thing to say.
356
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,684
Tell him we're down here.
357
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,752
- What good will...
358
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:24,686
- Never mind, I tell him.
359
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,189
He doesn't like you anyway.
360
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,379
Hello, Arnold?
361
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:31,483
Arnold?
362
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,620
Get close to the sink.
363
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,536
Can you hear me?
364
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,442
He heard me.
365
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,411
- Well, bully for you.
366
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:52,681
- Arnold, Mr. Douglas and I
are trapped here in the cellar.
367
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:55,051
Now, I know that you
don't like Mr. Douglas,
368
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:58,387
but forget about him
and concecrate on me.
369
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,423
- Yeah, concecrate on her.
370
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:03,159
- Do you want him to
help us or don't you?
371
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,693
- Be my guest.
372
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,429
Only, don't tie up
the pipe too long.
373
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,797
Somebody else
may want to talk to us.
374
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:09,865
- Arnold.
375
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,467
Arnold, are you still there?
376
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,237
Here is what I want you to do.
377
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,472
Go get help.
378
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,707
Tell them we're
trapped here in the cellar
379
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,242
and to bring shovels.
380
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,479
Shovels.
381
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:24,835
S-C-H.
382
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,517
How do you spell shovels?
383
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,918
- Oh, boy.
384
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,588
- Well, somebody will
know how to spell it.
385
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,923
Remember, we counting on you.
386
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,895
Oh, Oliver, we're saved.
387
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:40,919
- Oh, sure.
388
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,999
- Don't you have
any faith in Arnold?
389
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:47,269
- I'd feel more secure
if he was Lassie.
390
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:51,006
- Well, between Arnold,
and Eb, and Mr. Kimball,
391
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,375
somebody ought to save us.
392
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:55,111
- Oh, yeah.
393
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,968
We got a great
group going for us.
394
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,589
- I'll be with you
in a minute, Haney.
395
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,690
I've gotta go put another
cold towel on Eb's head.
396
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,326
- Take your time, Sam.
397
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:14,519
An emergency is more
important than a can of beans.
398
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,208
Oh, it's you.
399
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,445
- What's the matter with Arnold?
400
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,680
- Oh, now don't believe
a word he says, Sam.
401
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:35,618
I was just testing these
gumdrops to see if they is fresh.
402
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:38,787
- He's upset.
403
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,623
Seems like he's trying
to tell us something.
404
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:41,890
What is it, Arnold?
405
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:45,916
I'm sorry, I don't
understand you.
406
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,698
You want to buy a dog leash?
407
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:53,602
- I guess he must've
bought himself a dog.
408
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,026
- You don't want a dog leash?
409
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,062
A dog collar?
410
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:00,298
Dog biscuits?
411
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,234
Dog what?
412
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:06,471
Dog less?
413
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,040
Dog less.
414
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,019
Douglas.
415
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,112
What about him?
416
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,396
- Sam, are you gonna
play charades with the pig
417
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,130
or are you gonna wait on me?
418
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,088
- Just a second, Haney.
419
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:27,325
Mr. Douglas mousetrap?
420
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:30,794
Mr. Douglas mouse?
421
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:33,764
Mr. Douglas trap?
422
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:36,778
Trapped.
423
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:40,372
Where?
424
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,389
- Sam, are you gonna...
425
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,313
- Just a second, Haney.
426
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,483
Salt cellar?
427
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,853
Mr. Douglas trapped
in a salt cellar?
428
00:20:57,056 --> 00:21:00,536
- Oh, that was an old
movie on TV last night.
429
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,071
It was Melvin Douglas
and he was trapped
430
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,308
in this salt mine in Siberia.
431
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:09,077
- Is that what you're talking
about, Melvin Douglas?
432
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,034
Look, Arnold, I'm busy.
433
00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:13,882
Olives?
434
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:14,906
Oliver, Oliver.
435
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,820
Oliver Douglas
trapped in a salt cellar.
436
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,126
- Hey, he's right.
437
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,361
I just remembered.
438
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:26,862
That's what I
came over to tell ya.
439
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:30,098
Mr. Douglas and Mrs. Douglas
are trapped in a salt cellar.
440
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,600
Well, it's not a salt cellar,
441
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,535
it's kind of a cave
under the house
442
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,471
where Mr. Haney's
father had a still.
443
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:36,405
- Well, holy smoke.
444
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:38,307
- Now, just a second, Sam.
445
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:42,745
I resent the implication
on my pappy's good name.
446
00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:45,681
He might have done a
lot of things in his lifetime,
447
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,983
but most of them was legal.
448
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,251
- Look, we better...
449
00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:50,519
- Mr. Douglas
said it was a still.
450
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,721
- Well, it might have
looked like a still,
451
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:57,058
but in reality it was
a nit picking machine.
452
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:57,893
- Fellas.
453
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,395
- A nit picking machine?
454
00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:03,899
- Yeah, he invented it the
year we had the big nit epidemic.
455
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,734
- And he never made
any liqueur with it?
456
00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:07,536
- Oh, he might have
made a few bottles
457
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,406
of nit wine now and then.
458
00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:12,140
- Fellas, we're wasting time.
459
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,376
The Douglases have
been trapped nearly all day.
460
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,411
Grab a shovel.
461
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:17,935
We gotta dig 'em out of there.
462
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,350
- Oh, Oliver, I'm frightened.
463
00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:24,085
- Oh now, there's
nothing to worry about.
464
00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:25,354
Somebody will find us.
465
00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:26,955
- But, suppose they don't.
466
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,325
Suppose there is
no more air left here
467
00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:33,362
and they don't get here
in time to resusiticate us?
468
00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:34,930
- Don't talk that way?
469
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,733
- That's the only way
I know how to talk.
470
00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:39,501
- No, I mean, don't give up.
471
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,371
- Oliver, shouldn't
we sing something?
472
00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:43,372
- Like what?
473
00:22:43,396 --> 00:22:44,573
- Something like.
474
00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:48,098
♪ Swing low sweet Harriet
475
00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:51,112
- I don't think
that's appropriate.
476
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:52,381
- What did they
sing in the movies
477
00:22:52,405 --> 00:22:54,672
when the Titanic went down?
478
00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:58,086
- Lisa, this isn't the end.
479
00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,223
- But, in case it is, I want
you to know that being
480
00:23:01,247 --> 00:23:03,692
married to you
was the nicest thing
481
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:06,261
that ever happened to me.
482
00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:10,454
Why, it was even nicer than
when I lived with the baron.
483
00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:12,634
- What?
484
00:23:12,658 --> 00:23:14,870
- Well, you know
my uncle, the baron.
485
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,805
My aunt and my
uncle took care of me
486
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:20,542
while my father was
painting the palace.
487
00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:21,965
- Oh, that baron.
488
00:23:23,369 --> 00:23:25,914
- Oliver, you know they
say that at a time like this
489
00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:29,017
your whole life
passes in front of you.
490
00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:30,519
- Yeah, I've heard that, too.
491
00:23:30,543 --> 00:23:32,621
- Are you passing?
492
00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:33,522
- No.
493
00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:34,812
- Neither am I.
494
00:23:36,015 --> 00:23:39,395
Do you suppose there is
something wrong with us?
495
00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:41,296
- I think it would be
better if we didn't talk
496
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:45,122
and conserved...
497
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:47,836
I think I heard a car.
498
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,007
- This way.
499
00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:53,031
This way.
500
00:23:56,035 --> 00:23:57,679
Follow me.
501
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,017
- What was that?
502
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:05,309
- Sounds like dum
dum finally got back.
503
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:15,497
- Oliver, Oliver?
504
00:24:15,521 --> 00:24:16,498
- What?
505
00:24:16,522 --> 00:24:17,999
What are you waking me up for?
506
00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:19,134
Look, I'm exhausted.
507
00:24:19,158 --> 00:24:20,602
- But, there's
somebody in the kitchen.
508
00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:21,626
- Huh?
509
00:24:23,496 --> 00:24:24,496
What the?
510
00:24:28,868 --> 00:24:29,868
Mr. Kimball.
511
00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:33,081
- Oh, Mr. Douglas.
512
00:24:33,105 --> 00:24:34,583
I'm sorry it took me
so long to get back,
513
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:35,951
but I couldn't find a plumber,
514
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:38,454
so I brought this
plumber's helper.
515
00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:40,622
I'll have you out in no time.
516
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:41,590
- Fine, fine.
517
00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:42,691
Have fun.
518
00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:44,192
Goodnight.
519
00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:45,894
- Goodnight.
520
00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:31,194
This has been a Filmways
presentation, darling.
32532
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