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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:21,865 ♪ Green Acres is the place to be 2 00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:25,902 ♪ Farm livin' is the life for me 3 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:29,906 ♪ Land spreadin' out so far and wide 4 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:34,077 ♪ Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside 5 00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:38,081 ♪ New York is where I'd rather stay 6 00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:42,085 ♪ I get allergic smelling hay 7 00:00:42,109 --> 00:00:46,056 ♪ I just adore a penthouse view 8 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,249 ♪ Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue 9 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:57,334 ♪ The chores ♪ The stores ♪ Fresh air 10 00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,869 ♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife 11 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,704 ♪ Goodbye city life 12 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:05,297 ♪ Green Acres we are there 13 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,224 - Honey bun. 14 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,725 - Hmm? 15 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,761 - I've just been through the medicine chest in the bathroom 16 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,696 and we need a lot of things. 17 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,231 - Oh, fine. 18 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,732 Make a list, I'll get 'em when I go into Drucker's. 19 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,270 - Ah, you're a good man, Oliver Wendell Douglas. 20 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,198 Oliver Wendell? 21 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,311 - Yes? 22 00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,280 - Do you need any shampoo? 23 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,514 - I don't know. 24 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,015 - Well, the last time you took a shower 25 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:49,119 and you squeezed the tube, did anything come out? 26 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,353 - Yes. 27 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:53,123 - Well, then you don't need any shampoo. 28 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:56,326 Thank you for your time, O-W-D. 29 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,524 Wendell, baby? 30 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:07,927 - Oh, for. 31 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,839 What now? 32 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,064 - Would you come here a moment, please? 33 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,033 - What is it? 34 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,484 - Where does this door lead to? 35 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,152 - I haven't the faintest idea. 36 00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,521 - You mean you've been passing by this door for three years 37 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,623 and you don't know where it's going? 38 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,658 - Well, you've been passing by it for three years. 39 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,293 You don't know where it's going. 40 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,495 - Well, I'm not supposed to. 41 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:32,519 I'm a woman. 42 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,964 - What does that mean? 43 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:38,335 - That means you yell at me when I borrow your razor. 44 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,036 - Uh, let's stick to the door. 45 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,671 - All right, where does it go? 46 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,206 - I don't know. 47 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,842 When we bought the house from Mr. Haney, he didn't tell me. 48 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,344 - And you never asked him? 49 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:51,336 - Oh, I tried it a couple of times, but it was stuck tight. 50 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,651 I think it's probably a small closet. 51 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,320 - And that's the end of it? 52 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,588 - Well, no. 53 00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,756 I don't guess it is now that you've stuck your 54 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,058 cute little Hungarian nose into it. 55 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,026 - Never mind the nose. 56 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,217 Just try to open the door. 57 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,755 - Hey, it's starting to give. 58 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,775 - Oliver, where are you? 59 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,878 Down here. 60 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,746 - Oh, I'll be right down. 61 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,415 - Be careful. 62 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,350 There's a flight of stairs. 63 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:31,954 - Why would they have a flight of stairs in a small closet? 64 00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:32,989 - It's not a closet. 65 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,691 It's a cellar. 66 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,626 Get a... 67 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,083 Get a flashlight. 68 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,024 - I'm coming. 69 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,445 What is this place? 70 00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:59,316 - Oh, it looks like it was used for a root cellar. 71 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,850 - Well, what is that? 72 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,687 - Farmers used them to store turnips, and potatoes, 73 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,589 and things like that through the winter. 74 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,424 - Oh, we have something like this in Hungary 75 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:10,449 except it was called goulash cellar. 76 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,929 - Goulash cellar? 77 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,163 - Yes. 78 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,365 My mother used to fill it up with goulash. 79 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,100 Then, when she didn't feel like cooking, 80 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:21,271 she would go down in the cellar and get a potful. 81 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,206 - It sounds very appetizing. 82 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,007 Well, not appetizing. 83 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:29,446 - Well, it's like a TV dinner, but in the cellar. 84 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,981 - Do you feel a cold draft? 85 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,383 - Yes. 86 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:34,651 - I think there's some kind of an opening 87 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,575 behind this crate here. 88 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:42,125 Some sort of a... Some sort of a cave. 89 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,149 Oh. 90 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,018 - Here, give me a light. 91 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,339 - Oh, look at this little thing. 92 00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:58,007 It looks like a lantern. 93 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,909 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 94 00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,634 Let's get a little light in here. 95 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,152 - Oh, look at that. 96 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:09,986 - Hey. 97 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,187 - It's a still. 98 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,689 - How do you know? 99 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,091 - Well, my father used to have one in the palace. 100 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,460 He used to make bootleg Slivovitz 101 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,196 and smuggled it into Poland. 102 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,731 - Oh, that's very... 103 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,966 - And during the war, the underground used his booze 104 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,568 to blow up bridges. 105 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,360 It was called Budapest Bang Bang. 106 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,441 - This must've belonged to Mr. Haney's father. 107 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:34,311 He probably made bootleg liqueur during Prohibition. 108 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,435 - Ooh, it's cold in here. 109 00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,984 What was that? 110 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,274 - I don't know. 111 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,991 - Do you think it's safe in here? 112 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:52,195 - Well, this cave must've been here for over 40 years. 113 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,431 These timbers seem pretty solid. 114 00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,758 Look out, Oliver 115 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,777 Gesundheit. 116 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,516 - Oliver, we're trapped. 117 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,917 - Don't panic. 118 00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,686 - How are we going to get out? 119 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,488 - We'll dig our way out. 120 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,290 - That's what you always say. 121 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,592 - When did I ever say that? 122 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,461 - Well, what are you going to dig with? 123 00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:28,253 - Oh, there must be something here I can use. 124 00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:35,972 - Didn't you ever take sand pile in kindergarten? 125 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,763 - The wood is rotten. 126 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,144 Somebody just came in. 127 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,747 - Who is it? 128 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,415 - Well, how would... - Mr. Douglas? 129 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,549 Mr. Douglas? 130 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,884 - I think it's Eb. 131 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,909 - I guess the old grouch ain't home. 132 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,484 - Eb! 133 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:04,267 The nut. 134 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,468 He turned on the radio. 135 00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:06,936 - Why, that's good. 136 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,305 When he hears on the news that we are trapped down here, 137 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,875 he'll come down and get us. 138 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,676 - Lisa, please. 139 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:14,700 Eb! 140 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:16,536 - Eb! 141 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,650 - Don't yell in my ear. 142 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:21,584 - Fine. 143 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,319 Would you like me to blow in it? 144 00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:24,954 - No. 145 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,289 Eb! 146 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,490 - Oh, boy. 147 00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:28,680 Fried chicken. 148 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,298 - Eb! 149 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:40,870 - Man, that drummer plays a cool kettle drum. 150 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,773 - He's never gonna hear us with that radio on. 151 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,363 - Oh, look, Oliver. 152 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,478 There is a pipe here. 153 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,947 - Yeah, that cellar was to the left of the bathroom. 154 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,849 We must be under the kitchen. 155 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,251 I'll bet that's where this pipe goes. 156 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,156 - He should've stuck to the drums. 157 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,380 He's nowhere with the vibe. 158 00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:06,930 - If I could loosen this, I might be able to call up to him. 159 00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,632 - Do you have his number? 160 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,801 - Just my luck to be trapped down here with a... 161 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,991 - With a what? 162 00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,561 - Hey, I think it's loosening. 163 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,544 Ah. 164 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:22,734 - Oh, my hero. 165 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:29,285 - I better tidy up before the old crab gets back. 166 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:32,644 - Now, let's see if he can hear me, huh? 167 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:39,028 - May I ask exactly what you accomplished? 168 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,118 - Look, Lisa. 169 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,027 - Come in. 170 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,196 Huh. 171 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,376 - Eb! 172 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:58,715 - Oliver, couldn't you get us out of here first? 173 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:02,852 And then you can drink all the water you want. 174 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:03,876 - Oh. 175 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,227 - Who's pounding on the pipe? 176 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,195 It's me. 177 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,296 - Who's me? 178 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,132 - Mr. Douglas. 179 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,768 - I'm sorry, he's not here. 180 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,603 - I know he's not. 181 00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:22,872 - Is there any message? 182 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,106 - Will you listen? 183 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,797 This is Mr. Douglas. 184 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,412 - What are you doing in the sink? 185 00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:32,771 - We're not in the sink, we're under it. 186 00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:37,475 - No, you're not! 187 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,356 - Eb, listen to me. 188 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,593 Mrs. Douglas and I are in some sort of a cave 189 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,127 under the kitchen. 190 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,897 - There's no cave under the kitchen. 191 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,799 - Yes, there is. 192 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,768 I found an old still down here. 193 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:52,869 - Leave it to you. 194 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,905 You sure have a nose for booze. 195 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,274 - Eb, will you please help us? 196 00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,709 We're trapped. 197 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:00,643 Now, come on down here. 198 00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,478 See if you can dig us out. 199 00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:03,913 - How do I get down there? 200 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,649 - Walk out of the kitchen into the living room 201 00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:09,986 and turn left and go down the hall to the bathroom. 202 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:13,089 - I don't have to go to the bathroom. 203 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,490 - Oh, that miserable. 204 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:17,827 Just before the bathroom there's another door. 205 00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:20,096 It leads to a cellar. 206 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,564 You understand? 207 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:22,398 - Yes, sir. 208 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,089 I'll be right there. 209 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,005 Mr. Douglas? 210 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,473 - What? 211 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,541 - Which way do I turn when I get to the bathroom? 212 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:35,111 - You don't have to go to the bathroom. 213 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,647 - That's what I told you. 214 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:41,250 - Eb, just before you get to the bathroom, 215 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,852 there's another door. 216 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,420 - Oh, I think I know now. 217 00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,344 I'll be right with you. 218 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,148 Bathroom. 219 00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,967 - What was that? 220 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:01,203 - Sounds like dum dum fell down the cellar stairs. 221 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,472 - It seems to me there was another dum dum 222 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,429 who did the same thing. 223 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,845 - Mr. Douglas, where are you? 224 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,514 - We're behind that pile of rubble. 225 00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,049 Can you dig us out? 226 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,018 - Not by myself. 227 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,654 - Well, drive into Drucker's and get some help. 228 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:18,678 - Yes, sir. 229 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:21,958 Mr. Douglas? 230 00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:22,959 - What? 231 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,662 - Can I have the keys to the car? 232 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:28,064 - Can I have the keys to the car? 233 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:31,233 - Well, I haven't got them, I thought you had them. 234 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,570 - When I get... Take your motor scooter! 235 00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:35,471 - Yes, sir. 236 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:36,661 Don't go away. 237 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,508 - Don't go away. 238 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,410 To think that our lives may be hanging 239 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,047 by the thin thread of his intelligence. 240 00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:47,050 - Well, that's a confronting thought. 241 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:03,632 Drucker! 242 00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:04,889 - Eb, watch it. 243 00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:08,928 Holy smoke. 244 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,480 You all right? 245 00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,549 - Yeah, I guess so. 246 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,885 I just hit my head. 247 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,421 - What was your big hurry? 248 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,356 - It was something very important. 249 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:30,226 Mr. Douglas told me to, uh. 250 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,250 - Yeah? 251 00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,763 - I forget. 252 00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:36,265 - How about lying down in the back room? 253 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:39,301 - No, I don't think that's what Mr. Douglas told me to do. 254 00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,370 - How about a doctor? 255 00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,806 - What's the matter, are you sick? 256 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:46,175 - Eb, I think you better come lie down in the back room 257 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,277 and I'll get a cold towel for your head. 258 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,301 - Yes, sir. 259 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,639 - Oh. 260 00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:56,285 It's no use. 261 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,888 - I wonder what is taking Eb so long. 262 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,057 - That's right, he's been gone over two hours. 263 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,081 Eb! 264 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,994 Eb! 265 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,595 - Oliver, I'm cold. 266 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,497 Couldn't you light a fire? 267 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,466 - And fill this place up with smoke? 268 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,836 - But, couldn't you light one without smoke? 269 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,905 - I'm afraid not. 270 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:19,608 - How about plugging in the electrical heater? 271 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,043 - What electrical heater? 272 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,913 - The one we have upstairs in the bedroom. 273 00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,614 - And just how could I do that? 274 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:29,285 - You could use a long extension cord. 275 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,922 - The air must be getting bad down here. 276 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,792 Why don't we do something to get our blood circulating? 277 00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:36,816 - All right. 278 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,130 Are you circulating? 279 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,487 - Yes, but I meant exercise. 280 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,204 - What kind of exercise did you have in mind? 281 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,228 - You know. 282 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,408 One, two, three, four. 283 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,310 - Kissing is more fun. 284 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,244 - Come on. 285 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,846 One, two, three, four. 286 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,448 One, two, three, four. 287 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:00,472 - Hello? 288 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,619 Anybody home? 289 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,254 - Shh. 290 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,556 I think I heard somebody. 291 00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:30,936 Hello? 292 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,216 - Well, I was just, uh. 293 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,240 Well, I was. 294 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,674 Hello? 295 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,159 - To whom am I talking? 296 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,183 - Hello? 297 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,219 - Hello? 298 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,488 - Is that you, Eb? 299 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,835 - No, it's Hank Kimball. 300 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:53,669 - Who is it? 301 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:54,837 - It's Mr. Kimball. 302 00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,206 - Oh, I'm glad somebody showed up. 303 00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,576 - Yeah, but why did it have to be him? 304 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,178 Mr. Kimball? 305 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:03,079 - Where are ya? 306 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,936 - Go over to the sink. 307 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,939 Talk into the drain. 308 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:13,022 - How are you, drain? 309 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,657 - Oh, isn't that cute? 310 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,427 - Mr. Kimball, can you hear me? 311 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,595 - Oh, yeah. 312 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,563 You're coming through loud and clear. 313 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,299 Boy, first time I've ever talked to anybody 314 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,567 through a sink-o-phone. 315 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,158 Well, over and out. 316 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,661 - Who have I offended? 317 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,766 Mr. Kimball, Mrs. Douglas and I are trapped down here. 318 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,648 We need somebody to help us get out. 319 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,850 - Well, I'll go get a plumber. 320 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,187 - Mr. Kimball? 321 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,624 Mr. Kim... Oh. 322 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,927 - Oh, there, there. 323 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,383 Tears won't help. 324 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,630 - Oh, Lisa. 325 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,732 - Oh, buck up your chin. 326 00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:57,699 - Buck up? 327 00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:58,700 - Oh, come on. 328 00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,069 One, two, three, four. 329 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,471 One, two, three, four. 330 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,407 - Feeling any better, Eb? 331 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,942 - A little. 332 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,777 If I can just remember what Mr. Douglas sent me in for. 333 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,645 - Well, just relax. 334 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,914 It'll come back to you. 335 00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,515 - Let me see. 336 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:17,786 I remember listening to somebody play the kettle drum. 337 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,021 - Just take it easy, Eb. 338 00:16:19,045 --> 00:16:22,291 I'll get you another cold towel. 339 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:25,027 - How long has Eb been gone? 340 00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,195 - Over four hours. 341 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:29,065 I can't understand where... - I'm hungry. 342 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:32,534 Why don't you go to the pipe and call room service? 343 00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:35,972 - You're full of vittikisms today. 344 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:38,007 - The word is witticism. 345 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,775 - What difference does it make? 346 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:40,965 We're trapped. 347 00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,379 - Yeah, but. 348 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,148 - You know, we might be right under the refrigerator. 349 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:50,819 There's the cold chicken, and the ham, and the eggs. 350 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,222 Look, Lisa. 351 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,346 I think somebody came in. 352 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,573 Sounds like Arnold. 353 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,742 - Oh, we're saved. 354 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:17,713 - Only if we can get our hands on him and make a barbecue. 355 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,682 - What a terrible thing to say. 356 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,684 Tell him we're down here. 357 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,752 - What good will... 358 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:24,686 - Never mind, I tell him. 359 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,189 He doesn't like you anyway. 360 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,379 Hello, Arnold? 361 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:31,483 Arnold? 362 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,620 Get close to the sink. 363 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,536 Can you hear me? 364 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,442 He heard me. 365 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,411 - Well, bully for you. 366 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:52,681 - Arnold, Mr. Douglas and I are trapped here in the cellar. 367 00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:55,051 Now, I know that you don't like Mr. Douglas, 368 00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:58,387 but forget about him and concecrate on me. 369 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,423 - Yeah, concecrate on her. 370 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:03,159 - Do you want him to help us or don't you? 371 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,693 - Be my guest. 372 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,429 Only, don't tie up the pipe too long. 373 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,797 Somebody else may want to talk to us. 374 00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:09,865 - Arnold. 375 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,467 Arnold, are you still there? 376 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,237 Here is what I want you to do. 377 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,472 Go get help. 378 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,707 Tell them we're trapped here in the cellar 379 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,242 and to bring shovels. 380 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,479 Shovels. 381 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:24,835 S-C-H. 382 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,517 How do you spell shovels? 383 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,918 - Oh, boy. 384 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,588 - Well, somebody will know how to spell it. 385 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,923 Remember, we counting on you. 386 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,895 Oh, Oliver, we're saved. 387 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:40,919 - Oh, sure. 388 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,999 - Don't you have any faith in Arnold? 389 00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:47,269 - I'd feel more secure if he was Lassie. 390 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:51,006 - Well, between Arnold, and Eb, and Mr. Kimball, 391 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,375 somebody ought to save us. 392 00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:55,111 - Oh, yeah. 393 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,968 We got a great group going for us. 394 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,589 - I'll be with you in a minute, Haney. 395 00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,690 I've gotta go put another cold towel on Eb's head. 396 00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,326 - Take your time, Sam. 397 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:14,519 An emergency is more important than a can of beans. 398 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,208 Oh, it's you. 399 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,445 - What's the matter with Arnold? 400 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,680 - Oh, now don't believe a word he says, Sam. 401 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:35,618 I was just testing these gumdrops to see if they is fresh. 402 00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:38,787 - He's upset. 403 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,623 Seems like he's trying to tell us something. 404 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:41,890 What is it, Arnold? 405 00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:45,916 I'm sorry, I don't understand you. 406 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,698 You want to buy a dog leash? 407 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:53,602 - I guess he must've bought himself a dog. 408 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,026 - You don't want a dog leash? 409 00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,062 A dog collar? 410 00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:00,298 Dog biscuits? 411 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,234 Dog what? 412 00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:06,471 Dog less? 413 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,040 Dog less. 414 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,019 Douglas. 415 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,112 What about him? 416 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,396 - Sam, are you gonna play charades with the pig 417 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,130 or are you gonna wait on me? 418 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,088 - Just a second, Haney. 419 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:27,325 Mr. Douglas mousetrap? 420 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:30,794 Mr. Douglas mouse? 421 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:33,764 Mr. Douglas trap? 422 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:36,778 Trapped. 423 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:40,372 Where? 424 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,389 - Sam, are you gonna... 425 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,313 - Just a second, Haney. 426 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,483 Salt cellar? 427 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,853 Mr. Douglas trapped in a salt cellar? 428 00:20:57,056 --> 00:21:00,536 - Oh, that was an old movie on TV last night. 429 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,071 It was Melvin Douglas and he was trapped 430 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,308 in this salt mine in Siberia. 431 00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:09,077 - Is that what you're talking about, Melvin Douglas? 432 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,034 Look, Arnold, I'm busy. 433 00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:13,882 Olives? 434 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:14,906 Oliver, Oliver. 435 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,820 Oliver Douglas trapped in a salt cellar. 436 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,126 - Hey, he's right. 437 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,361 I just remembered. 438 00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:26,862 That's what I came over to tell ya. 439 00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:30,098 Mr. Douglas and Mrs. Douglas are trapped in a salt cellar. 440 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,600 Well, it's not a salt cellar, 441 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,535 it's kind of a cave under the house 442 00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,471 where Mr. Haney's father had a still. 443 00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:36,405 - Well, holy smoke. 444 00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:38,307 - Now, just a second, Sam. 445 00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:42,745 I resent the implication on my pappy's good name. 446 00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:45,681 He might have done a lot of things in his lifetime, 447 00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,983 but most of them was legal. 448 00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,251 - Look, we better... 449 00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:50,519 - Mr. Douglas said it was a still. 450 00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,721 - Well, it might have looked like a still, 451 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:57,058 but in reality it was a nit picking machine. 452 00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:57,893 - Fellas. 453 00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,395 - A nit picking machine? 454 00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:03,899 - Yeah, he invented it the year we had the big nit epidemic. 455 00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,734 - And he never made any liqueur with it? 456 00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:07,536 - Oh, he might have made a few bottles 457 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,406 of nit wine now and then. 458 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:12,140 - Fellas, we're wasting time. 459 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,376 The Douglases have been trapped nearly all day. 460 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,411 Grab a shovel. 461 00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:17,935 We gotta dig 'em out of there. 462 00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,350 - Oh, Oliver, I'm frightened. 463 00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:24,085 - Oh now, there's nothing to worry about. 464 00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:25,354 Somebody will find us. 465 00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:26,955 - But, suppose they don't. 466 00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,325 Suppose there is no more air left here 467 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:33,362 and they don't get here in time to resusiticate us? 468 00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:34,930 - Don't talk that way? 469 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,733 - That's the only way I know how to talk. 470 00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:39,501 - No, I mean, don't give up. 471 00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,371 - Oliver, shouldn't we sing something? 472 00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:43,372 - Like what? 473 00:22:43,396 --> 00:22:44,573 - Something like. 474 00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:48,098 ♪ Swing low sweet Harriet 475 00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:51,112 - I don't think that's appropriate. 476 00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:52,381 - What did they sing in the movies 477 00:22:52,405 --> 00:22:54,672 when the Titanic went down? 478 00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:58,086 - Lisa, this isn't the end. 479 00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,223 - But, in case it is, I want you to know that being 480 00:23:01,247 --> 00:23:03,692 married to you was the nicest thing 481 00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:06,261 that ever happened to me. 482 00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:10,454 Why, it was even nicer than when I lived with the baron. 483 00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:12,634 - What? 484 00:23:12,658 --> 00:23:14,870 - Well, you know my uncle, the baron. 485 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,805 My aunt and my uncle took care of me 486 00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:20,542 while my father was painting the palace. 487 00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:21,965 - Oh, that baron. 488 00:23:23,369 --> 00:23:25,914 - Oliver, you know they say that at a time like this 489 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:29,017 your whole life passes in front of you. 490 00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:30,519 - Yeah, I've heard that, too. 491 00:23:30,543 --> 00:23:32,621 - Are you passing? 492 00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:33,522 - No. 493 00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:34,812 - Neither am I. 494 00:23:36,015 --> 00:23:39,395 Do you suppose there is something wrong with us? 495 00:23:39,419 --> 00:23:41,296 - I think it would be better if we didn't talk 496 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:45,122 and conserved... 497 00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:47,836 I think I heard a car. 498 00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,007 - This way. 499 00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:53,031 This way. 500 00:23:56,035 --> 00:23:57,679 Follow me. 501 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,017 - What was that? 502 00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:05,309 - Sounds like dum dum finally got back. 503 00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:15,497 - Oliver, Oliver? 504 00:24:15,521 --> 00:24:16,498 - What? 505 00:24:16,522 --> 00:24:17,999 What are you waking me up for? 506 00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:19,134 Look, I'm exhausted. 507 00:24:19,158 --> 00:24:20,602 - But, there's somebody in the kitchen. 508 00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:21,626 - Huh? 509 00:24:23,496 --> 00:24:24,496 What the? 510 00:24:28,868 --> 00:24:29,868 Mr. Kimball. 511 00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:33,081 - Oh, Mr. Douglas. 512 00:24:33,105 --> 00:24:34,583 I'm sorry it took me so long to get back, 513 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:35,951 but I couldn't find a plumber, 514 00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:38,454 so I brought this plumber's helper. 515 00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:40,622 I'll have you out in no time. 516 00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:41,590 - Fine, fine. 517 00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:42,691 Have fun. 518 00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:44,192 Goodnight. 519 00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:45,894 - Goodnight. 520 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:31,194 This has been a Filmways presentation, darling. 32532

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