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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:21,931 ♪ Green acres is the place to be 2 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:25,902 ♪ Farm living is the life for me 3 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:29,873 ♪ Land spreading out so far and wide 4 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:34,011 ♪ Keep Manhattan just give me that country side 5 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,981 ♪ New York is where I'd rather stay 6 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:41,918 ♪ I get allergic smelling hay 7 00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:46,023 ♪ I just adore a penthouse view 8 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:50,215 ♪ Darling I love you but give me Park Avenue 9 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:57,234 ♪ The chores ♪ The stores ♪ Fresh air 10 00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:00,070 ♪ Time Square ♪ You are my wife 11 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,905 ♪ Goodbye city life 12 00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:05,497 ♪ Green acres we are there 13 00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:14,551 - Oliver. 14 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,575 - Hmm? 15 00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:18,755 - Do you like this color? 16 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,624 - Yes, it's beautiful, good night. 17 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,393 - What color was it? 18 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,195 - It was red. 19 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,497 - What shade of red? 20 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,399 - I haven't the faintest idea. 21 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,701 - It's called Passionate Embrace. 22 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:35,539 They use it in all those new sexy movies. 23 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:36,773 - Sexy? 24 00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:37,707 - You know, when they don't have any plot 25 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:38,908 but you don't care because 26 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,778 they hardly wear any clothes. 27 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,714 - Lisa, I'd like to go to sleep. 28 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,084 - Oh I'm sorry darling, goodnight. 29 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,108 - Goodnight. 30 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,093 What's the matter? 31 00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:58,995 - There was a name in the dark. 32 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,019 - A name in? 33 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,366 Lisa turn the light off. 34 00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:04,534 - Oh yes darling, goodnight. 35 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:05,558 - Goodnight. 36 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,776 Lisa, what are you? 37 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,568 - That time there were two names. 38 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,048 - Lisa, I've got a big day tomorrow. 39 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,150 I've got to go to Druckers 40 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,718 to pick up my seed corn. 41 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,488 I've got to overhaul the tractor motor. 42 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:27,624 I'd appreciate it if you'd turn out the light. 43 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,981 - Oh yes darling, goodnight. 44 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,063 Do you see anything? 45 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,932 No! 46 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:39,269 - That's funny, there should be one more name. 47 00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,426 Oh there it is! 48 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,541 Oliver did you see it? 49 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:45,708 Oliver? 50 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:46,732 Oliver. 51 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,446 Oliver where are you? 52 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:51,581 On the couch, in the living room. 53 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,649 Goodnight. 54 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,339 - Oh goodnight dear. 55 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,635 Hello there Mr. Drucker. 56 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:12,502 - Oh good morning folks. 57 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,870 - What's that? 58 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,272 - Well it's a new nail polish. 59 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,839 It's called Passionate Embrace. 60 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,308 It's selling like hot cakes. 61 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,710 - Well it should, they advertise it everywhere. 62 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:24,347 Even in the dark after you turn the light out. 63 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,549 - I beg your pardon? 64 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:28,652 - My wife sees names in the dark. 65 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:29,686 - Oh? 66 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,987 What kind of names? 67 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,455 - Well you see there was this... 68 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:36,560 - Mr. Drucker, I came over here to pick up my seed corn. 69 00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,728 - I've got it in the back room for you. 70 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,030 Oh, by the way Mrs. Douglas before I forget 71 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,499 remember you were asking me 72 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,001 if I was gonna get in some of that gourmet food? 73 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,403 - Well yes. 74 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,871 - Well I called the warehouse in the county seat 75 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:53,064 and they sent me a whole selection of that gourmet stuff. 76 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,547 - Mr. Drucker I believe you misspelled gourmet. 77 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,571 - Where? 78 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,385 - Well it's supposed to be G-O-U-R-M-E-T. 79 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,620 - What difference does it make? 80 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,888 All he has is some stuffed olives. 81 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,990 - Well that's about as gourmet as they get. 82 00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,693 - Didn't they have any caviar? 83 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,928 - Oh you mean them little black fish eggs? 84 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,396 No, but they told me they were coming out 85 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,433 with a do it yourself caviar kit. 86 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,167 - A caviar kit? 87 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,637 - Yeah, you cook up a box of tapioca 88 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,505 and you stir in some licorice for color 89 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:26,409 and then add some sardine oil for the fish taste. 90 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,378 - I'll demo one of those. 91 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:29,946 - Yes ma'am, right away. 92 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,681 - Mr. Drucker, if you would just get me my... 93 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:35,151 - Do they have a pate de foie gras kit? 94 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,319 - Patty duh? 95 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:37,554 - Goose liver. 96 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,489 - No ma'am, but I can order you a frozen goose 97 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:42,592 and you deliver it yourself. 98 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,961 - Do you think I could do that Oliver? 99 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,429 - I'm sure I don't know. 100 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,064 Now look Mr. Drucker, please would you get my... 101 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,088 - Howdy folks. 102 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,803 - Oh hello there Mr. Ziffel. 103 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,171 Hello Arnold. 104 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,074 - Arnold wants to know if you've got 105 00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,942 your gourmet section in yet. 106 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,077 - Right over there. 107 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:08,885 - Arnold says you aint got gourmet spelled right. 108 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,119 - How would he know how? 109 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,788 - Have you got your seed corn planted yet? 110 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,423 - I will if Mr. Drucker ever gets... 111 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:17,282 - Fred, who's gonna pay for all them gourmets? 112 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,265 - Put it on Arnold's bill. 113 00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,834 - You know how much he's ran up? 114 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,925 192 dollars and 27 cents. 115 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,840 - Well Arnold can afford it if he's a millionaire. 116 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,141 At least he's going to be 117 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,177 when he gets his inheritation. 118 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,312 - When's he gonna get it? 119 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,902 - Don't ask me, ask his lawyer. 120 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,717 - I haven't the slightest idea. 121 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,084 I've done everything I can do 122 00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:43,820 to expedite the settlement of the estate. 123 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:44,821 - Maybe you'd better turn it over 124 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,489 to Doris's brother. 125 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,624 - Is he a lawyer? 126 00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:50,360 - No, he's the carobertive. 127 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:51,661 - What does he know about law? 128 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,464 - What do you know about cutting toe nails? 129 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:55,732 - Nothing. 130 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,635 - Then if I was you, I'd stick to practicing law. 131 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,337 - For the love of. 132 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,705 Look Mr. Drucker if you would just tell me 133 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:02,639 where the seed corn is 134 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,073 I'll put it in the car myself. 135 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:04,974 - Well I'll help you. 136 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:05,908 - Thank you. 137 00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:07,176 - Oh by the way Mr. Douglas 138 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,479 do you know how to plant this new hybrid variety 139 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:10,714 of seed corn? 140 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:14,083 - He don't even know how to plant the old kind. 141 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,585 - Have you got any literature? 142 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:19,389 - Yeah, I believe the seed salesman left some booklets. 143 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,223 Here we are. 144 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,958 - Thank you. 145 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,394 - Have you done your plowing yet. 146 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:27,430 First I've got to overhaul my tractor motor. 147 00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:33,269 Eb! 148 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:34,404 Eb! 149 00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:35,705 - Oliver! 150 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,873 - Eb! 151 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,207 - Oliver! 152 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,041 - What do you want? 153 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:42,512 - I'm looking for... What are you doing? 154 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,414 - I'm trying to get the motor back in the tractor. 155 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:47,717 - Well, it was a nice day for it. 156 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,318 - Eb! 157 00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,388 - Have you seen Evelyn? 158 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:52,455 - Who's Evelyn? 159 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,957 - She's a little white chicken. 160 00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,126 - No, I haven't see her, Eb! 161 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,127 - Evelyn! 162 00:06:58,151 --> 00:06:59,028 - Eb! 163 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,052 - Evelyn! 164 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,632 - Look will you stop? 165 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,867 This thing is heavy. 166 00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:04,834 - Can I help you? 167 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,102 - No thanks. 168 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,637 - You never want me to help you with anything 169 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:08,993 around the farm. 170 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,475 - If you really want to help, go find Evelyn. 171 00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:13,843 - Evelyn! 172 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:14,867 I mean Ep! 173 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:17,747 - Who do you want? 174 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,915 Me or Evelyn? 175 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,850 - I need some help raising this. 176 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:21,951 - Yes sir. 177 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,147 - Oh there we are. 178 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,995 No, no, not so high. 179 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:33,963 That's alright. 180 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,465 - Eb, Eb have you see Evelyn 181 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,166 the little white chicken? 182 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,368 - No ma'am but Charlie ought to know where she is. 183 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:40,269 - Who's Charlie? 184 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,337 - The rooster. 185 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:42,928 - Charlie, Charlie! 186 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,075 - Evelyn! 187 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,010 - Will you stop yelling in my ear? 188 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,034 - Yes sir. 189 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:51,748 - Good Lord. 190 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,317 - Hey! 191 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,819 There's Evelyn. 192 00:07:58,846 --> 00:07:59,789 Mrs. Douglas? 193 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:00,957 - Yes? 194 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:01,958 - I found Evelyn. 195 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,549 - Oh good, where's Mr. Douglas? 196 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:06,863 - I don't know, he was around here 197 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,064 a few minutes ago. 198 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,253 - I'm up here. 199 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,002 - Oh Oliver, if you're looking for Evelyn 200 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:16,038 don't bother, we found her. 201 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,395 - You miserable! 202 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,543 - Mr. Douglas? 203 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,878 We got the motor back in. 204 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,246 What do you want me to do now? 205 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,181 - Get me down you... 206 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,382 - With the mood you're in 207 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,485 I'm better off with you up there. 208 00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,060 If you're gonna read 209 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:40,062 I might as well take the rest of the day off. 210 00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,866 - Eb I just wanted to check something in here. 211 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,300 - Boy, you sure are going at corn planting 212 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,002 scientifically this year. 213 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,804 - Well I don't want to make the same mistakes 214 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,106 that I made with my corn last year. 215 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,374 - I know how you can do that. 216 00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,942 Plant tomatoes. 217 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,176 - Look. 218 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:54,978 - That will give you some new mistakes 219 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,913 to fool around with. 220 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:57,981 - Eb would you mind? 221 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:58,982 - Hello my dear! 222 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,449 I've brought you some sandwiches. 223 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:01,773 - Oh boy thanks! 224 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,621 Didn't you bring any for Mr. Douglas? 225 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,155 - Well they're for both of you. 226 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,123 - Thank you. 227 00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,324 - Eat them while they're hot. 228 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,092 - What kind of sandwiches are they? 229 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,595 - Liverwurst and grape jelly. 230 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,763 - Liverwurst and... 231 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:14,864 - Did you put mayonnaise on them? 232 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,166 - Yes, and ketchup. 233 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,568 - Thank you, look we'll eat them later. 234 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,037 - If there's anything else you need sire. 235 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,338 Do you want me to run the tractor 236 00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:24,541 while you are eating? 237 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,442 - Lisa, why are you being so helpful 238 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,144 all of a sudden? 239 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:31,280 - Well you always tell me that an American farmer's wife 240 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,916 is at her husband's side 241 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,818 while he's toiling and sweating in the fields. 242 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,053 - Well that's right. 243 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,188 And I appreciate the bag of... 244 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,690 - Well if there's anything else you need 245 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:45,595 just whistle and I will be with Beck when you call. 246 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,096 - You'll be with Beck when I? 247 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,120 - Bye! 248 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,868 - Eb, start the tractor. 249 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,502 - Can I eat my sandwich first? 250 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:54,671 - Crank her up. 251 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,504 - But. 252 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:56,338 - Crank! 253 00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,029 - You certainly are. 254 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:00,833 - Switch on. 255 00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:05,536 - Pull out the choke. 256 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,558 4th of July came early this year. 257 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:16,915 - Grab the plow. 258 00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:23,066 And be sure to keep the furrows straight. 259 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,801 - Mr. Douglas! 260 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,035 Oh Mr. Douglas! 261 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,676 Hi, how you doing? 262 00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,357 - Hey, what are you doing here? 263 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,559 - Eating my sandwich. 264 00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:53,162 - What happened to the plow? 265 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:56,165 - You forgot to hitch it to the tractor. 266 00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,434 - Why didn't you say something? 267 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:02,038 - You told me never to talk when my mouth was full. 268 00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,062 - Oh. 269 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,207 Hitch it up. 270 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:08,544 - I'm entitled to a siesta after eating. 271 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,146 - Will you hitch it up! 272 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,347 - Yes sir. 273 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,815 Boy the way you keep me working around here. 274 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,018 I don't even have time to make a picket sign. 275 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,152 - Eb! 276 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,790 - We just finished plowing. 277 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:21,724 Why don't we take a rest 278 00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,092 and plant the seed tomorrow? 279 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,361 - Because the faster we plant the seed 280 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,696 the faster it will grow. 281 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,330 - Tell me where it says that in the book. 282 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:31,801 - It doesn't have to say it in the book. 283 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:35,304 - Mr. Douglas, thank goodness I'm not too late. 284 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,539 - For what? 285 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,541 - You haven't planted your seeds yet have you? 286 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,475 - No. 287 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:42,078 - Then this is your lucky day. 288 00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,980 - That remains to be seen. 289 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,848 - Mr. Douglas, what would you say 290 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,551 if I told you that on the back of my truck 291 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:52,221 I had one of the most astounding devices 292 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,058 for planting seeds known to man? 293 00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,026 - Mr. Haney, if you're gonna try to sell me 294 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,095 some cockamamie machine. 295 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,462 - Machine? 296 00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:03,132 Who said anything about machine. 297 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:10,272 May I present Mrs. Agnes Cudahy. 298 00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:14,343 The last of the authentic seed spitters. 299 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,245 - Seed spitters? 300 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,380 - The only accurate way to plant seeds 301 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,250 in two furrows at one time. 302 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,752 - Mr. Haney. 303 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,353 - I'm willing to back up my claim 304 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:25,888 with a demonstration. 305 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,156 Can I have some corn? 306 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,091 - No, you may not. 307 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,258 - Yeah, here you are right here. 308 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,626 - Oh come on! 309 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:34,085 - I thank you and Mrs. Cudahy thanks you. 310 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:39,257 How let us pretend that these are your furrows. 311 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,094 - Golly! 312 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,074 - Now the first step is to drill holes 313 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,009 for the seeds in the furrows. 314 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,846 Now these holes can be drilled by hand 315 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:52,749 by machinery, or by Donny Woodpecker 316 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,351 who will be glad to peck the holes for you 317 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:56,975 at 10 cents a peck. 318 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,522 - Of all the ridiculous... - Pray watch. 319 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:12,423 Now, planting two seeds at once. 320 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,142 Notice her fantastic accuracy? 321 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:22,178 Seed spitting is indeed a lost art. 322 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,581 - Well yes, but I don't really. 323 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:26,849 What was that? 324 00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:30,608 - I believe Mrs. Cudahy just planted her tooth. 325 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,355 - Oh for the love of. 326 00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,191 - Now if you would just sign this contract 327 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:38,360 for Mrs. Cudahy's seed spitting services. 328 00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:39,862 - I don't want her services. 329 00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:43,732 I can spit my own, I mean I can plant my own seed. 330 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,534 - And what provisions have you made 331 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:49,505 for protecting your seed once you've planted it? 332 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,706 - Well I haven't made any. 333 00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,641 - You haven't made any? 334 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,510 Aren't you worried about crows? 335 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,012 - No. 336 00:13:56,036 --> 00:14:00,116 - Well, perhaps Oscar can change your mind about that. 337 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,140 Here boy! 338 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,987 Oscar, tell Mr. Douglas what a flock of crows 339 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,257 can do to a newly seeded field of corn. 340 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,329 Aint that frightening? 341 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,897 - It sure is. 342 00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:15,932 - What did he say? 343 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,099 - You heard him. 344 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,001 - Fortunately, Oscar has agreed 345 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,769 to come over to our side 346 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,439 and think for the farmers. 347 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:24,540 - Think for the... 348 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,508 - Now here's the way Oscar works. 349 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,345 He hangs around old fences and stuff 350 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,514 and mingles with the bad crows 351 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,451 making them believe that he's one of them. 352 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,453 And then when he hears their plan 353 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,555 to raid somebody's corn field 354 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,012 he reports to me. 355 00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:46,217 Either in person or by short wave radio. 356 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,198 - If that isn't the most... 357 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,268 - I in turn relay the news to you 358 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,837 and you can take whatever steps you think is necessary 359 00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,906 to protect your crops. 360 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,808 - I'm about to take the first step to protect it. 361 00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:00,943 Out! 362 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:01,978 - Oh but Mr. Douglas. 363 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,445 - Out! 364 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:07,250 And take your freak crow and your Lucy Loose Tooth with you. 365 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:08,484 - Inhospitable. 366 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:25,667 - Eb I told you before. 367 00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:28,804 You're supposed to cover the seeds with a hoe. 368 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,328 - Sorry, I forgot. 369 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,032 - Hoe! 370 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:35,700 Hoe! 371 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,881 - I didn't mean... - Yoohoo! 372 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,449 Hello dear. 373 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:42,919 Here I am, the wife of the American farmer 374 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,186 with the lemonade 375 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,722 for her toiling and sweating husband 376 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,490 who is working in the field. 377 00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,726 - Oh boy, I'm thirsty. 378 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,150 - Well have some. 379 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,464 - Oh! 380 00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,856 - Did you say something? 381 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,804 - Boy, that sure was good. 382 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,806 I've never tasted lemonade like that before. 383 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,309 - Well have some more. 384 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:09,578 - Oh, I see you are ready for some more. 385 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,113 I'm glad you like it. 386 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,716 What's the matter with your voice? 387 00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:15,851 - Can I have some more? 388 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,619 - Oh you like it Eb? 389 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,355 - Yes ma'am. 390 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:22,758 - Well I can see my lemonade is a big hit. 391 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,827 - Yeah, it's a big hit. 392 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,696 - Then what did you throw it away for? 393 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,931 - Oh! 394 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:29,932 - You threw it away after all the trouble 395 00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:32,268 I went through to make it? 396 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,502 - Lisa, I wasn't thirsty. 397 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:34,903 - Well this is the last time this wife 398 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,105 of the American farmer 399 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,906 is going to help the toilers 400 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,108 and the sweaters. 401 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,343 - Lisa! 402 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,644 - Don't beg me, no more lemonade. 403 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,668 That's it. 404 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,552 - Well you must feel proud of yourself. 405 00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:53,155 Dumping out an American farmer's lemonade. 406 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,723 - Eb, why did you have to tell... 407 00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,592 - Just because it had a kerosene taste 408 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,961 didn't mean you had to pour it out. 409 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,597 - Oh, let's get back to work. 410 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:02,631 - Yes sir. 411 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,705 - Lisa, I'm sorry about the lemonade. 412 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,474 I know you were trying to be helpful. 413 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,142 - I don't want to talk about it. 414 00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,743 - Fine. 415 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,567 - Why did you dump it? 416 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,647 - Lisa, you just said... 417 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,417 - How can be a good American farmer's wife 418 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,174 when you're a dumper? 419 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,355 - Lisa, if you don't mind I'm tired. 420 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,057 - You work too hard. 421 00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,026 - That's part of being a farmer. 422 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,927 Since the days of the revolution. 423 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:36,232 The American farmer has worked from sun up to sun down. 424 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,734 Planting his seeds in the rich, brown soil 425 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,303 knowing that soon the cool rain 426 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,705 and the warm sun will give them life 427 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,508 and make them burst up through the soil 428 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:48,577 up towards the sun and the sky. 429 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,867 Yes, I'm tired. 430 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,882 But it's a proud tiredness. 431 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,739 An American tiredness. 432 00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:58,921 - Goodnight Oliver. 433 00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,344 - Goodnight dear. 434 00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,496 - Oliver. 435 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,730 - Hmm? 436 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:09,665 - Would you please tell the fellow 437 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,067 to stop playing the fife? 438 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,923 I want to go to sleep. 439 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,060 - Stop playing the fife? 440 00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:19,575 - Thank you, goodnight. 441 00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,084 - Will you let go of my arm? 442 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,052 - I want to show you what's growing in your corn field! 443 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:31,320 - How could anything be growing? 444 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:32,721 We just planted it yesterday. 445 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:33,956 - You'll see, come on. 446 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,391 - Oh now look at that, there's nothing growing. 447 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,426 - Huh, what do you call that? 448 00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,306 - That's impossible. 449 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,431 - That's what I said but there it is. 450 00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,214 When you plant your little seeds in the rich, brown earth 451 00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,816 and they burst through they really burst. 452 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,985 In fact, they burst, bust, and boom. 453 00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,286 - I don't understand how... 454 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,522 - It's just like Jack and the Beanstalk. 455 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,157 Only you did it with corn. 456 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:10,092 - Jack and the... - Hi Eb! 457 00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,760 - Hi Jack! 458 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:12,894 - Jack? 459 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,363 Where did he come from? 460 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,831 - Did you see anybody up there? 461 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,422 - Just a giant in a green suit. 462 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,770 - A giant in a green suit. 463 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,561 Ho, ho, ho. 464 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,476 - Well who could? 465 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,044 - A can of corn! 466 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:31,447 Golly, we're in a TV commercial. 467 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:32,481 - This isn't. 468 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,083 There must be some explanation. 469 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,285 - Okay, let's hear it. 470 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,419 - Well I don't know what the. 471 00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,189 - I'm gonna take a look up there. 472 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:43,159 - Will you get off of there! 473 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:43,992 - Good morning. 474 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,227 - Oh, hi Mr. Kimball. 475 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:46,162 - That's right, Hank Kimball's the name 476 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:47,863 and county agenting is my game. 477 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:50,932 - Mr. Kimball am I glad to see you. 478 00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,801 - See me what? 479 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,970 - Well, look at that. 480 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,038 - What about it? 481 00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,006 - Do you realize what that is? 482 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,809 - Yeah, looks like a high rise corn stalk. 483 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,078 - Well have you ever seen anything like it? 484 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,847 - Oh yeah, there's a lot of them going around. 485 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,617 Ben Miller had a 20 story corn stalk. 486 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,287 No, it was a 14 story tomato plant. 487 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,322 Well it wasn't 14 stories. 488 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:14,679 It was in a pot. 489 00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:18,060 - How could a thing like this happen? 490 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:22,064 - Well, there's a simple scientific explanation to that. 491 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:23,232 - Yeah? 492 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:26,268 - You see what happened here was... 493 00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:29,405 No, that's for giant artichokes. 494 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,507 - This just can't be. 495 00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:32,741 - Why not? 496 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,343 It happened in Jack and the Beanstalk. 497 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,412 See, there was this... - Hi Mr. Kimball! 498 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:38,314 - Oh hi Jack. 499 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,339 - Will you get off of my corn stalk? 500 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:46,510 - Mr. Douglass, have you heard anybody go, "Ho, ho, ho"? 501 00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,225 - Yes, yes. 502 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,992 - Well there's your answer. 503 00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:52,595 You're in a TV commercial. 504 00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,265 Well, if you need any more help 505 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,700 just give me a call. 506 00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:00,001 - Mr. Kimball please. 507 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,459 - Watch out below! 508 00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:07,909 Hey, how about that ear of corn Mr. Douglas? 509 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,978 - This is tremendous, I never saw anything... 510 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,680 - The giant helped me pick it. 511 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,048 Thank you giant! 512 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,838 Ho, ho, ho. 513 00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:18,787 - What's so funny? 514 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,857 - Why Eb is talking to the, hey look at that! 515 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:25,861 - Well, you finally learned how to grow corn. 516 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,162 - No, I didn't grow it. 517 00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:29,431 I don't know how it happened, look! 518 00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,600 - Well it was probably a magic seed 519 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,270 like in Jacqueline and the Beanstalk. 520 00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,405 - Oh no, it was Jack and the Beanstalk. 521 00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:37,806 - Hello Mrs. Douglas. 522 00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:39,930 - Hello there Jacqueline. 523 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,245 - I must be going out of my... 524 00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:45,247 - There's a nice giant living up there. 525 00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:47,683 Would you like a can of creamed corn? 526 00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:49,518 - I'd love it. 527 00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:50,952 - Hey giant! 528 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,376 One creamed corn! 529 00:21:56,416 --> 00:22:00,095 You're supposed to put it in the can dummy! 530 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,720 - This whole thing is utterly... 531 00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:06,868 - Very funny! 532 00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:08,626 Ho, ho, ho. 533 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,642 - I can't, there must be some explanation. 534 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,143 Maybe it was the seed 535 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,780 or maybe it was something in the soil. 536 00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:20,215 - The soil, that's what it was. 537 00:22:20,239 --> 00:22:22,050 The soil! The soil! 538 00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:23,319 - What do you mean? 539 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,287 - That's where you threw Mrs. Douglas's lemonade. 540 00:22:25,311 --> 00:22:27,255 - The lemonade? 541 00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:29,057 Could that have? 542 00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:30,225 Lisa what was in it? 543 00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:31,059 - What do you care? 544 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:32,260 You don't like it. 545 00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:33,562 - Lisa it's possible there's something in it 546 00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:35,397 that made the corn grow. 547 00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:36,665 You've got to tell me. 548 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:37,499 Tell me! 549 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:38,500 Tell me! 550 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:39,335 Tell me! 551 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:40,168 - Oliver! 552 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,002 Oliver! 553 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,270 What's the matter! 554 00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:44,373 - What did you put in that lemonade? 555 00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:46,107 - What's the matter? 556 00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:48,799 - Oh boy did I have a nightmare. 557 00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:55,417 I dreamed this corn stalk grew way up in the sky 558 00:22:55,441 --> 00:22:58,253 and there were these two kids. 559 00:22:58,277 --> 00:22:59,277 And a giant. 560 00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:04,292 Oh and an ear of corn six feet long. 561 00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:05,227 Oh boy. 562 00:23:05,251 --> 00:23:06,895 - What about my lemonade? 563 00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:09,998 - That was another nightmare. 564 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:11,967 No, I mean it was part of the. 565 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:14,737 - You don't have to apologize. 566 00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:16,805 Maybe the lemonade wasn't good. 567 00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:18,507 Like my cooking and sewing 568 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:21,009 and everything else I do around here. 569 00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:22,544 I guess I just don't have the stuff 570 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:25,647 which makes a woman an American farm wife. 571 00:23:25,671 --> 00:23:28,917 - I never complained about your stuffing. 572 00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:31,052 I like you just the way you are. 573 00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:32,153 - Do you? 574 00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:33,555 - Yes. 575 00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:36,492 - And I like you just the way you are. 576 00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:38,226 - I guess we're made for each other. 577 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:41,397 - We are America's ideal couple. 578 00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:42,631 - I wouldn't go that far. 579 00:23:42,655 --> 00:23:44,633 - We're the sweethearts of the world. 580 00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:47,369 The lovers of the century. 581 00:23:47,393 --> 00:23:48,270 - Lisa. 582 00:23:48,294 --> 00:23:50,294 - We're Romo and Julius. 583 00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:52,730 Antony and... 584 00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:56,044 What was the name of the Irish girl 585 00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:57,568 he was engaged to? 586 00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:00,471 Oh yes, Cleopatrick. 587 00:24:02,475 --> 00:24:03,641 - Cleopatrick? 588 00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:06,822 Goodnight Lisa. 589 00:24:06,846 --> 00:24:08,957 - Goodnight sweet prince. 590 00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:11,593 Parting is such sweet sorrow. 591 00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,462 I'll turn out the light. 592 00:24:13,486 --> 00:24:15,798 Don't wake me up early tomorrow. 593 00:24:58,397 --> 00:25:02,165 This has been a FILMWAYS presentation darling. 37445

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