All language subtitles for Everwood S02E11 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 5.1 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

They, uh, kick you out
for some reason?

Dad!

I´m interested.
It´s starting to snow.

I saw Madison tonight.
I´m gonna keep seeing her

and there´s nothing
you can do to stop me.

I´m not gonna try.

I know Ephram thinks he´s a man,
I know you see him that way too.

But his heart is wide open.
Be careful with it.

I hate everything about
my entire stupid life.

You can ground me dad,
do whatever you want.

Because honestly..
...I wish I was dead.

Let´s put out an All Points
on Amy Abbot. 10-36, Amber.

What´s that mean?

Missing child.

- The recent one I found.
- Okay.

alright, sheriff,
let´s crop her out.

- Get her photo with a bullet.
- You got it.

I know you´re worried,
but we´re gonna do everything

we can to find her.

The first 24 hours are critical,
so we need to work.

I´m gonna give you each jobs.
I need a written description.

What she was wearing, hair,
eyes, any scars or birthmarks.

Everything that you can think
of. Are you the brother?

- Yeah.
- Make a list. Friends, family.

Everyone she knows
or might have contact with.

Give me names, addresses,
phone numbers, anything.

- Does she have a computer?
- Yeah, in her bedroom.

Mom? You´re the point person
for the phone.

I need you ready
in case she calls.

Agent Price has
an ID caller box

and he´s gonna
tell you everything.

Alright? alright,
let´s get to work, folks.

When the pressure´s on,
it´s often the times of crisis

that bring a family together.

I´m her aunt.
Something that I could do?

Oh, you´re the doctor?

Good. We need her records.
Medical, dental, x-rays mianly.

We´re gonna get DNA,
but the lab is in Denver..

...so we need
those records soon.

- Can you do that?
- I can try.

- Mother.
- What´s going on?

Amy´s gone.
She disappeared last night.

- Oh, no.
- It´s a nightmare. I know.

No, I mean this is
all a big mistake.

What are you talking about?

Amy´s at my house,
having pancakes with Harper.

Well, where did you
find her? When?

She spent the night.

Pressure also has a way of
exposing our fault lines..

...bringing to the surface
things..

...that might better
have stayed buried deep below.

Once they´re out, though,
they´re awful hard to put back.

All units, Code 4.
Subject has been located.

[theme music]

[music continues]

Stop.

- Weren´t watching a movie?
- Oh, it´s on, isn´t it?

In your world, "Wanna come over
and watch a movie?" means--

"Do you wanna come over
and make out?"

And for the record,
it´s not just my world.

It´s like the law
of the universe.

(man on TV)
´Up, up and away.
Oh, man, like--´

We´re not allowed to
in the house.

Do I look like
someone who follows rules?

I laugh in the face of danger.
I bend to nothing--

We´re just watching a movie.

I´m sorry.
How many times can I apologize?

A thousand million billion
and I won´t care, you promised.

(Andy)
´It was an accident.´

- I didn´t--
- It wasn´t an accident.

You kissed her on the lips
for like 10 seconds.

- What´s going on?
- He kissed Linda.

- On purpose.
- Sweetie, listen to me.

I swear I didn´t mean for it
to happen. It just--

You promised and you did it
anyway, which makes you a liar.

- Delia.
- I´ll talk to her.

So I take it you kissed Linda?

- Oh, that´s funny.
- What´d she mean, you promised?

Does it really matter?

Okay, look, it turns out
you were right after all.

Delia was upset
about me and Linda.

But that was, like, three months
ago. You catch on quick.

So I talked to her
and I explained to her..

...that I might be interested
in another woman someday.

Romantically.
And she said that was fine..

- As long as it wasn´t Linda.
- Let me get this straight.

The night you went to punish
Delia for dropping the S-bomb

you ended up promising her that
you wouldn´t date Linda Abbott?

She´s very persuasive.

What are you gonna do?
Are you gonna date her, or--?

I don´t know.

- I want to, but Delia´s upset.
- I wonder why.

I took her to breakfast, she
didn´t talk for a whole hour.

Then she comes in here
and she just unloads on me.

She´s 10. Buy her a Barbie doll,
she´ll forget.

- I won´t bribe your sister.
- So, what are you gonna do?

I may not have to do anything.

After Delia´s tantrum
at the tree lot this morning..

...I doubt Linda Abbott wants
anything to do with me.

Well, great. Problem solved.

This is unbelievable.

She showed up at my door.
What was I supposed to do?

How about a phone call?
That thought enter your mind?

It was late. I figured
you were already asleep.

If I had called,
you would´ve just rushed over

and things would´ve
gotten worse.

That is not
a decision you get to make.

She was scared, Junior.
She didn´t want to see you.

Everybody was so angry.

I thought we could all use
a cooling-off period.

I knew she was safe. My plan was
to get over here first thing

and to help work it out.

- How could I know?
- How could you not know?

What person does this? Do you
realize that we thought

our daughter might be dead?

- And to find out you took her.
- I didn´t take her.

She came to me.

I didn´t ask to get involved.

Look..

...I´m sorry.

What more can I say?

Never thought
this would happen.

Of course. You never think of
anyone or anything but yourself.

She said she wants to
talk to you both.

If you could come over later,
we can all work this thing out.

Work it out?
I don´t believe this.

- Rose.
- Don´t.

I´m not gonna sit here
and be insulted.

Not in my own home.

(Harold)
´You didn´t wanna
get involved, Mother.´

Well, guess what, you are now.

Where are you
in your cycle, Helen?

Day 12.

I´ve been doing
the Lupron shots at home.

But blood tests
and ultrasounds are killing me.

Clinic´s in Boulder.

They said if I could find
someone locally..

...the lab will take
the results over the phone.

We should be able
to save you a few trips.

- Are you--?
- I´m using my husband´s sperm.

Oh, great. Because you know
that the in vitro process

can be very stressful.

It´d be great
to have him for support.

Actually, my husband´s dead.

Oh!

Three years ago,
he got testicular cancer.

He was only 35, so it wasn´t
exactly on our radar.

The doctors recommended
that we save some sperm..

...before he started chemo,
just in case.

Six months later we´re at
Sloan-Kettering, not working.

The tumors are everywhere.

Ted calls me in and says
no matter what happens

he wants me to have the baby.
He made me promise.

I´m sorry.

I´ve been wanting
to do it since long.

Just been waiting to get to
the right place. Emotionally.

Financially.

I think I´m finally ready to
keep up my end of the bargain.

I know that this makes
some people feel uncomfortable.

No, no. Not at all.

It´s just that I´ve been there.

I´m a widower myself
with two kids.

- Really? How old?
- Sixteen and 10.

It´s a lot of work, especially
if you´re alone, but worth it.

I´m just happy I can help you.

- Edna.
- Again with the yelling.

Could you set up the ultrasound
for Mrs. McGinn?

We are gonna measure
some follicles.

I´m having a baby with my dead
husband´s frozen sperm.

Right.

We´ll probably have to check
the Medicare code on that one.

(Amy)
´I know I´ve made a lot of
mistakes, and I´m sorry.´

´The thing is,
I´m doing better.´

´It may not look like it, but I
am. I´ve been sleeping more.´

´I´ve been
catching up in school.´

´I finally feel
like I´m waking up´

and I thought about it, and it
all started when I met Tommy.

- That´s ridiculous.
- Just hear me out, please.

(Amy)
´He´s not a bad person.´

´I know what you heard.´

´But if you´d take time
to get to know him.´

I think that you would realize
that none of it´s true.

But the way you treated him,
Dad, it was humiliating.

If you were worried,
you could have talked to me

but to bring it up
in front of the family--

I won´t apologize
for wanting to know a boy

that you choose
to bring into my home.

I don´t want it to be like this.
I don´t wanna fight always.

Neither do we.

I said a lot of things
I shouldn´t have

and I wish I could take them
back, but I can´t.

So all I can do now is hope
that you can forgive me.

Well.

The entire episode
was a disaster.

We all wish
that it hadn´t happened.

I can see where perhaps
I may have overreacted.

- Now that we´ve had time--
- Do you know what you´ve done?

- Rose--
- I don´t think she does.

Amy, we had FBI agents
at our house.

We actually considered
that you took your own life.

Any idea what
that is like for a parent?

- Mom, I said I was sorry.
- No, you didn´t.

Not for lying when you
said you were at Laynie´s.

Not for stealing from your aunt.

I talked to her about that.

You have the gall to sit there
and say we embarrassed you?

Now, how do you think we felt

telling Grandma and Pop Pop
you couldn´t say goodbye

because you ran off
in the middle of the night?

You are the embarrassment, Amy.
Your attitude, your behavior.

And now you
summon us over here

like we´ve been granted
some audience with the pope

because you
deign to talk to us?

This is way past
self-indulgence.

See? I can´t talk to them.

(Rose)
´You want to be
treated like an adult´

then act like one.

The important thing
is that she comes home.

No. What´s important is that
she take responsibility

for her actions.

- That´s what she´s doing.
- Don´t you dare talk to me.

For 25 years I´ve seen you
treat Harold with disrespect.

I never said anything,
but this is different.

This is our daughter.

You want to come home, fine.

The rules are the same. No car,
no telephone, no dating.

- This is so unfair.
- Too bad.

I am tired of giving you
the benefit of every doubt.

- You lost that right.
- I´m not a kid anymore.

- I can make my own decisions.
- That´s right.

You heard what I said,
now you can decide.

Come home and live by our rules,
or stay here, it´s your choice.

Come on, Harold.

I said we´re leaving.

So, what do you
think sounds better?

Karate or papier-mâché
jewelry making?

Tough call. They both kinda
make me wanna kill myself.

- Delia. Food´s here.
- What happened to the pizza?

I decided I was in the mood
for something more fried.

Executive decision.

Aren´t you old
for self-improvement classes?

Not for me. I´m trying to find
something Delia and I can do.

Spend some quality time.
Do some bonding.

- You never did any with me.
- Okay.

How about you and I join
the Everwood Men´s Chorus?

I don´t need to bond that bad.

Here we go.

´"Close Encounters
of the Camping Kind.´

´"Dads and daughters
get away to get connected.´

´"Spend a fun-filled
night in the woods´

´"at historic
Fiery Gizzard State Park.´

´"Tents, food
and equipment: $100.´

´Memories and smiles:
No extra charge.""

- That´s sounds perfect.
- Except that you hate camping.

I don´t hate camping.
I´m just not very good at it.

- Who´s going camping?
- We are, sweetie.

This weekend. What do you say?

- No.
- It´ll be fun.

We´ll roast marshmallows,
tell ghost stories.

- You´re forgetting something.
- What?

- I don´t like you.
- That´s too bad.

Because we leave Friday at 5.

Hey.

Woman, you trying to give me
another heart attack?

If you´re looking for Amy,
she´s in the can.

No idea what she´s been doing
for the past half-hour

but my guess is
it involves makeup.

We have to talk.

Now, I understand
you´re in a bind here

and I know Amy´s family
and we have obligations..

but I already had
a teenage daughter.

- So did I.
- But I was actually involved

in raising mine
and it´s hard work.

- Too hard for a man my age.
- It won´t be forever, Harper.

- Just a wrinkle in my plan.
- You messed up.

You should´ve called but you
didn´t. I´m not blaming you.

I´m just saying
we have a situation here.

And instead of spending your
time trying to justify

the mistake you made, we should
figure out how to fix this.

Well.

I was thinking of calling
Father Ivers over at the church.

He baptized Junior and confirmed
him, and married him and Rose.

He´s one person they might
listen to other than God.

Alright, let´s get him
on the horn.

I still think
we should wait.

You know, Amy´s a smart girl.
She´ll do the right thing.

Meanwhile, it might be good
to get her out of the bunker.

Well--

- Where are you going?
- I´ve got a school thing.

It´s okay, I always go.

It´s just I was
supposed to have a ride

and Laynie´s car
broke down, so..

My keys are in my purse.
It´s hanging on the coat rack.

Thanks, Grandma.

Thank you. See you later.

- Bye, Irv.
- Good night, sweetheart.

See you later.

One scratch
and I´ll have your hide.

Bye.

Yes, the number for Christ
the King Church on Glenwick.

- Morning, Edna.
- Morning.

Well, you look exhausted.

I´m fine. Press on.

There´s somebody in my office.

No wonder you brain surgeons
get the big bucks.

Well, who is it?
I didn´t have anyone scheduled.

In vitro lady from yesterday.
It´s her husband.

- He´s supposed to be dead.
- Yeah.

I thought it was weird too.

- She told her husband was dead.
- He is.

Her first husband.

I probated his estate.

Okay.

That´s how I met Helen.

We fell in love,
and last year we got married.

Little piece of information
she failed to mention.

Yeah. I´m not surprised. Look,
I´m sorry to barge in on you

but she told me
she came to see you and I--

- I have a few questions.
- Join the club.

What are her chances of having
a baby with this procedure?

Well, it´s difficult to say.

First, there´s
the egg retrieval

then the embryo transfer.

A lot of it depends
on the motility of the sperm.

But I´m sure they explained
all this to you at the clinic.

You did know
that she was doing this, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I knew.

She idolized Ted. They were
high school sweethearts and all.

You know,
I understood that.

When I proposed to her, she told
me about her promise to him.

And then she made me promise
that when the time came

I´d let her have the baby.

What was I gonna say, you know?

I figured eventually
she´d forget about it

but now Ted´s like this ghost
who´s just around all the time.

Have you told her
how you feel?

How I feel is powerless.

Emasculated,
if you really wanna know.

She´d rather have a baby with
her dead husband than with me.

I wanna have kids too.
It´s not like I´m incapable.

Well, so tell her, then.

Yeah.

- I was hoping you would.
- Oh, no, no. I don´t think so.

Isn´t she coming in later
for some blood work?

Don´t you have to get back
for fifth period?

No, it´s just English.
Who cares?

You getting all
bad girl on me?

After this I´m gonna
go get a tattoo

or maybe do
a little shoplifting

stop by the crack house.

No, I´m just kidding.

I´ve had freedom since I´ve been
with my grandmother.

Which is all I wanted
in the first place.

Be careful
what you wish for.

Having no structure
in your life is--

It´s not what it´s
cracked up to be. Trust me.

You okay?

Why are you with me, Amy?

- What do you mean?
- Your parents were right.

I´m not exactly
the greatest influence

or the greatest person
for that matter.

- My parents don´t know you.
- Maybe we keep it that way.

No, that´s the point.
They didn´t even make an effort.

- That´s why--
- That´s why you moved out?

No. No.

Not entirely.

Look.

If you don´t wanna go home,
that´s fine.

I can totally respect that.
That´s your decision.

Just don´t
make this about me.

I don´t wanna be
the poster boy

for pissing off
Mom and Dad, you know?

That´s what this is about.

That and the free Skittles.

- I really don´t need a lecture.
- I´m not lecturing.

I´m saying that
maybe there´s a reason

you didn´t tell me
you were married.

You didn´t ask.
How about that?

You think Neil goes to the
urologist, says:

"By the way, doctor,
you should know I have a wife"?

It´s not a big deal.

Look, IVF has helped a lot of
people, and I´m not knocking it.

But truthfully and thankfully,
you don´t need it.

You have a husband who wants
a child with you.

- And we will.
- Put yourself in his shoes.

We´ve all said things
that we´d like to take back.

Excuse me, there was no moment.

We talked about this more
than once and he agreed.

Because he knows
how important it is to you.

I´m not saying
it´s wrong for you

wanting to keep your promise,
but no one would blame you

for changing your mind.

I have worked too hard and
invested too much to stop now.

Now, I´m sorry Neil´s
having mixed feelings

but a promise is a promise.

I´m having this baby.

I don´t appreciate
you two ganging up on me

and Ted like this.

So how is Amy?

Well, I don´t know.

- You didn´t see her at school?
- Yeah.

- Well..
- She looked the same.

What do you want me to say?

What are you doing?

Going to bring
our daughter home.

- No.
- This has gone on long enough.

I said no!

This has got to be her decision.

Well, she is not capable
of making a good decision

not in her present state.
Look at her history.

The only history of bad
decisions in this family

has been yours.

Excuse me?

When Amy misbehaved at school,
you bought her a car.

When she stayed out doing
God-knows-what with that boy

you didn´t tell me about it.

You´re the one who wanted
to put her on medication.

She can answer yes
for anti-depressants

on every medical history
she fills out.

How dare you? How dare you
pretend you gave even one minute

of consideration
to my opinion on that?

You´ve never shown any respect
for my authority as a parent.

- I can´t talk to you like this.
- You will.

You will stand there and you
will listen to me, for once.

I´m sick of it, Harold.

The way she
controls this family.

You have always
put Amy first.

When she´s here, it´s nothing
but yelling and screaming

crisis and drama.

Now she´s gone, you still make
everything about her.

There are other people
in this family.

Your son. Me.

Do you even
think about us anymore?

Do you care about how we feel?

Well, of course I do. Right now,
Amy needs special attention.

What Amy needs is discipline,
and you can´t provide that.

Oh, oh, and you can? Please.

I tolerated your little
power play at Mother´s

but do you seriously think Amy
believed it or any of us did?

You patronizing bastard.

You go to your office, you spend
all day with your patients.

Thursdays it´s the lodge,
Saturdays it´s golf

then you come and think you´ve
got the answers?

Well, guess what.

I´m the one who gets to deal
with the consequences

every time you make
one of your proclamations.

I´m the one who supports you
and defends you.

- You never give anything back.
- What do you want?

You want me to encourage your
crazy concept of punishment?

The moment things get hard
I´m supposed to kick

my own child outta our home
because you say so?

That´s right.

Are you willing
to lose our daughter

over some teenage crush?

Are you seriously
willing to lose our marriage?

- What?
- Let me tell you something.

This marriage will not survive
if you keep undercutting me.

Our daughter´s tearing
this family apart

and you´re so blind
you can´t see it.

I swear to God, Harold, I´ll not
go on living like this.

- I will not. Don´t.
- Rose.

(male #1)
´I see cell phones.´

´This is daughter time,
not daddy time.´

I told you we should´ve
brought backpacks.

Well, I didn´t know
we were going to the Himalayas.

I wanna go home.

Come on, this is gonna be fun.

It´ll be a beautiful night
camping under the stars,

spending
time with my number-one girl.

Why? Is Linda coming with us?

- Come on. You know I meant you.
- Whatever.

Let´s go, folks.
Gotta make camp by sunset.

Are we excited?

Only if this bus takes me home.

What´s this?

I didn´t order that.

You know what? I´m not hungry.
Why don´t we watch a movie?

No, I said Moo Shu Chicken.
This is pork. I don´t eat pork.

- I´m gonna call them.
- Do we have to do this now?

By the time I call them
and they switch it the rest

of the food will be cold.
That´s great. That just sucks.

Okay, what´s bugging you? And
don´t tell me it´s the Moo Shu

because no amount of pork
should distract you

from a make-out session.

When there´s no possibility
of us getting caught.

I wouldn´t count on that.

My dad can´t handle my sister
and nature for a whole night.

- He´ll be back.
- Why would you say that?

Because I know my dad, the man
has zero communication skills.

Now, he´s better
with Delia, but still--

- He talk to you about Linda?
- What about Linda?

He´s dating her?

He planned this whole trip
with Delia, I just assumed--

Well, Delia´s younger.
She doesn´t quite get it yet.

- And you do?
- Don´t start. Please.

This is about your dad dating
somebody since your mom died.

You´re not supposed
to just get it.

- You should talk about it.
- Nothing to talk about.

I hated every guy my mom brought
home after her divorce.

My dad´s not divorced.

I know, I´m sorry.
That came out wrong.

It´s no big deal.

alright, I didn´t think
he´d wanna start dating so soon.

He does, it´s weird.
I´m over it.

He about dating for the first
time in your entire life

doesn´t ask you
how you feel about it

and you´ve emotionally processed
this in less than 30 seconds.

That´s impressive.

What do you want me to do?

I´m not gonna tell him
how to live his life.

If he thinks he´s ready,
then I should be too.

Yeah, but here´s the thing.

You can not be okay with it and
still support his decision.

If you feel like you can talk to
him about it, then you should.

But if you can´t..

...then talk to me.

Because chances are
if you´re feeling gloomy..

...I can do stuff
to cheer you up.

This is good.

Just this.

Straighten and connect
shock-corded joints on fly-pole.

Well, which one is the fly-pole?

Did you take this long
when you went with Ephram?

No, but the tent wasn´t as big.

They actually make them smaller?

Do you guys need some help?

If I can clip
an intracranial aneurysm

I ought to be
able to handle this.

You sure? You already missed
the opening session.

We´re fine, Simon.
Go. Bond. Be merry.

Okay, but don´t be too long.

The eggs in a cup go fast.

Did he just say eggs in a cup?

I hate nature.

You´re not supposed to do that.

What are they gonna do,
put me in camping jail?

--that we may find
healing and grace

through the power of your name.

Amen.

Amen.

Before we start..

Let me thank Edna
for calling me

(Father Ivers)
´and for having us
all into her home.´

´I´m glad that you´re all making
God a part of the equation.´

I used to tell Hal Sr.
that being a steward

was a lot more than just having
your butt in a pew on Sunday.

´Well, let´s remember
the ground rules.´

´This is a safe environment.´

Everybody gets
a chance to speak.

Everyone gets
a chance to respond.

Rose, why don´t we
start with you?

- We love our daughter, Father.
- Oh, not to me.

You know that.

But because we love you,
it doesn´t mean

we have to like
what you´re doing.

You violated our trust.
You have to earn that back.

I know you don´t like it,
but it´s punishment.

It´s not supposed to be fun.

Okay. Amy,
do you want to respond?

You and Dad say that
you love me, but you don´t.

Not really.
You love who I used to be.

You love who you want me to be.

It´s totally conditional
and it´s unfair.

If you´ll talk
that way--

Rose, please. Let her finish.

This all started over Tommy,
but he´s not the issue.

Not the reason
this is happening.

He said that he didn´t
wanna create problems

within my family.

All of the stupid stuff I did I
deserve to be punished for

but not for him.

Is that all?

I´m willing to give up the car.
And the phone.

I figure that should be enough
since I´ve already apologized.

- You are such a baby.
- Son, please.

Do we have to sit here
and listen to this?

You´ll get your turn.

Harold, how about you?

I´ve always treated you
as an adult, Amy.

And maybe I shouldn´t have,
because, well, you´re not.

I see that now.

I´ve jeopardized my marriage
in an effort to maintain

your good graces and failed your
mother in the process.

When you say we can´t tell you
how to live your life

you´re just simply wrong.

We´re your parents.

That´s our job.

If you wanna live
under our roof again

we´re ready to have you.

You know the terms.
Your mother reiterated them

quite clearly for you
the other day.

And I support her.

Amy, don´t you wanna
say something?

Say yes. You can get up right
now and come home with us.

- Unbelievable.
- Maybe we should take a break.

You know, that´s fine, Father.

Thank you for your time.

Good luck, Mother.

[Delia giggling]

This is fun.
Can we do it again?

Absolutely.

It will be our thing.

So that means
you can´t come here with her.

Promise.

I don´t think I should make
those kinds of promises anymore.

- Because you can´t keep them.
- No.

Because I can´t make the
decisions that I´ve to make if--

Well, if I´m scared of you.

You´re not scared of me.

Are you kidding me?
You bet I am.

When you´re mad at me,
my stomach turns inside out.

I hate it.

I´m not mad at you, Dad.

I just don´t want her
to be mad at me.

Well, honey,
Linda´s not gonna be mad at you.

Not Linda. Mom.

What about Mom?

If I like Linda, Mom will know,
and she´ll be mad.

- Well, why would Mom be mad?
- Because she´ll be jealous.

You think Linda´s beautiful.

She´s got red hair
and she´s a doctor

and Mom wasn´t like that.

Honey..

There will never be anyone who
means as much to me as Mom did.

Not anyone.

Just like no one could ever
take your place, or Ephram´s.

That´s the first thing
you have to know.

What´s the second?

The second thing is that Mom
would never be mad at you

or me or anyone.

For liking someone else
that wasn´t her.

I don´t know.

She could be pretty tough.

Delia, when someone
we love dies..

It´s okay to be sad
about it for a while.

For as long as you
need to be, really.

But you just can´t
hang on to all the love

that you used
to give to that person.

Why not?

Well because..

Love´s not worth a whole lot if
you just keep it to yourself.

Well, it´s getting kind of late.

Oh, yeah.

Probably time
to order another movie.

- Two in one night?
- Why not?

The world is our oyster.

So, what will it be?
Action, comedy or drama?

"Driving Miss Daisy Crazy."

What´s that?

You wouldn´t like it.

- Sperm´s here.
- Oh, good.

I´ll take it.

Careful, that´s liquid nitrogen.

I hope they get his chin.
He had a great chin.

Oh, for God´s sakes.

(Neil)
´You know what?
I can´t do this.´

- There is no way.
- Neil.

It´s like I don´t even exist.

Maybe I should take that.

Our baby this, our baby that.
We´re gonna work together.

Raise it as a team, all sounds
great but you know what?

That´s not our kid.

I´ll never love it like
it´s mine because it´s not.

I´m sorry if that makes
me a horrible person

but that´s how I feel.

Honey, I know you´re insecure,
but I have to do this.

I made a promise
and so did you.

- Well, I take it back.
- Guys, please.

Why don´t we
take a deep breath?

You know what? I´m all out of
deep breaths. Helen..

You have a choice to make.
It´s either me or him or them.

It´s your decision.

Whatever you wanna do,
I´ll help you.

I thought I had
room for both of them.

That make any sense?

I stopped trying to make sense
of things a long time ago.

You know, it´s funny.

It´s been..

almost two years
since my wife died.

There isn´t a day that goes by
that I don´t think about her.

Well, it´s always little things.

It could be..

...a song on the radio
or a phone call.

Or even a certain scent.

If you could´ve seen Ted´s face
when he made me promise.

Listen.

No one would blame you
if you changed your mind.

You are a wife before
you´re a widow.

We all make promises
to people we love.

but letting go is not the same
thing as forgetting.

It´s not even close.

I´m not going through
with the procedure.

Thank you, Dr. Brown.

Oh, Helen?

What would you like me
to do with this?

Actually..

...I´m wondering if you could
do me one last favor.

How did this happen?

It´s okay.

I thought I was doing
the right thing.

I thought she´d come home.
I really did.

I know.

We´ll get through this.

How?

How will we?

By staying together.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Can Linda come out and play?

You´re not gonna
sing for me again.

No, but I could dance.

Actually, I´m here
to ask you out on a date.

I´ve worked it out with Delia
and she´s completely onboard.

All you have to worry about now
is my grating personality

and lack of charm.

I´m glad to hear that about
Delia but you know that

your kids aren´t
the only issue.

I know.

I´m okay right now, but that can
change, any day, any time.

Well, I could
get hit by a truck tomorrow.

I´d be lying if I told you that
your sickness didn´t scare me.

I mean, it´s one thing
to start dating again.

but it´s another to date
a woman that I could lose.

But I´m just not gonna sit back
and watch life pass me by

without trying to find just a
little piece of happiness

along the way.

And neither should you.

Look, all I´m asking for
is one date.

Just dinner and a movie.

Okay, an expensive dinner.

Maybe sushi.

Do vegetarians eat fish?

See you later.

Hold on.
Where do you think you´re going?

- Out.
- No. Not on a school night.

We´re watching a movie.
I won´t be late.

I don´t care what you´re doing,
you´re not doing it tonight.

Why not? I don´t need the car.

Amy, I didn´t exactly earn my
parenting stripes

the first time around.

You´re my responsibility,
and I have to set some limits.

If you wanna see people during
the week, have them over here.

And weekends are yours so long
as your schoolwork´s done

and you´re home by midnight.

- Grandma?
- You´ll start helping out.

KP, keeping the house clean.

Harper´s not used
to being outnumbered

so I´ve gotta be careful.
Those are the rules.

And you bust a curfew, or step
out of line once, just once..

...and I´ll be on you like a bum
on a bologna sandwich.

Are you trying to
make me leave, Grandma?

I´m trying to make you
understand that

even though you think you are a
35-year-old woman, you´re not.

And there are rules in every
port, sweetheart, everywhere.

Well, can I still see Tommy?

Yes. I promised you that and I´m
not gonna go back on my word.

But I hear once that you´ve
crossed the line with him..

...or lied to me
about where you´ve been.

And you´re confined
to barracks permanently.

- I´m getting a nosebleed.
- Well.

We´re here.

This is the spot.

All things considered,
I don´t think Men´s Chorus

was such a bad idea.

Peaceful, isn´t it?

Yeah, it´s nice.

His wife said
this was Ted´s favorite spot.

I can see why.

So she just wants you
to hurl it over?

Yep.

Isn´t there some law against
dumping sperm in a forest?

Probably.

It seems weird
her not doing it herself.

You didn´t even
know the guy.

Well, I think that´s why.

She didn´t say as much,
but I could tell.

Yeah, you have a real sixth
sense about people.

Well, enough to know
that something´s on your mind.

You wanna tell me what it is?

Yeah, I mean,
I like Linda.

I do. I can see
why you like her.

I think.

But the fact is, I´m not as cool
about you starting to date

as you want me to be.

It´s not that I´m not cool about
it, it´s just that it´s weird.

I thought you were gonna turn
into one of those happy widows

that have lot of lady friends
and cats like Andy Griffith.

Nick at Nite.

But that´s not you,
and I know that now.

I want you to be happy.
If dating Linda makes you happy

I´ll find a way
to feel less weird.

I will. It´ll take time,
but I´ll figure it out.

That´s it. That´s all I
wanted to say. I´m done.

You realize you just told me
how you feel

with absolutely
no prompting whatsoever?

- Hey, you prompted.
- A little, but I´m impressed.

So..

You wanna do the honors?

You´re asking me to throw a dead
guy´s frozen spunk in a canyon?

Cool.

Nice throw.

Good arm.

So here´s a question.

If sperm gets thrown into the
forest and nobody hears--

- Dad.
- Now, come on, that was funny.

Let me try another
one on you, okay?

Having done what we just did..

- Did we commit spermicide?
- Dad.

Come on, this is funny stuff.

[theme music]

[music continues]