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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,147 OH! OH! 2 00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,106 THAT'S MY DINNER! 3 00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:24,981 SOMEBODY TOLD ME I SHOULD STUFF MY PANTS. 4 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:26,939 HYAH! 5 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,898 A LITTLE LOWER DOWN THERE. 6 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,683 OH, YEAH! WORK IT! 7 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,122 ARE YOU BEING BAD? 8 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,130 SOMEONE ASKED ME IF I FELT GUILTY 9 00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,393 ABOUT PREYING ON THE YOUNG AND INNOCENT 10 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,090 FOR THE SAKE OF ENTERTAINMENT. 11 00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,962 BOY, DID I HAVE A GOOD LAUGH. 12 00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:55,664 GUYS! 13 00:00:55,838 --> 00:00:57,144 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A SCAVENGER HUNT? 14 00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,015 - YES. - WE ARE ON ONE. 15 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,887 AND WE NEED A PICTURE OF SOMEONE TWERKING. 16 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,802 - WOULD YOU TWERK FOR US? - YES, PREFERABLY A HOT GUY, 17 00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:06,066 SO COULD YOU, LIKE, DO A LITTLE BOOTY DANCE FOR US? 18 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,590 - ONCE WE GET THE PICTURE, WE'RE DONE WITH THE EVENT. - THEN WE'RE DONE. 19 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,418 OKAY. OKAY. 20 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:13,073 OH, BEAUTIFUL! SHAKE THAT BAD BOOTY, BABY! 21 00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:15,031 - WHOO! SO GOOD. - GOOD. 22 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:17,729 - THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. - I LOVE THAT. 23 00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:18,861 - HE'S GOOD. - YEAH. 24 00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,689 - THANK YOU. - BEAUTIFUL. 25 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,865 YOU'RE A SWEETHEART. 26 00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:25,433 SUCKER. 27 00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:40,491 YOU KNOW, DON'T THEY HAVE SOME OTHER SIZES OF THIS? 28 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:42,493 UM...YEAH. THEY SHOULD HAVE A HIP FLASK. 29 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:45,931 YOU KNOW, I REALLY DON'T NEED IT ALL. 30 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,065 OH. 31 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:50,893 REALLY? THAT'S PERFECT. 32 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:53,113 - THAT'S PERFECT. THANK YOU. - OKAY. 33 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,338 COULD YOU HELP ME ONE MINUTE, PLEASE? 34 00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:03,775 I'M BABYSITTING MY GRANDDAUGHTER. 35 00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:06,213 COULD YOU TAKE A LOOK AND SEE IF SHE'S ALL RIGHT? 36 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,215 SHE'S BEEN VERY, VERY QUIET. 37 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,955 JUST TAKE A LOOK. 38 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,958 JUST -- IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 39 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,439 HUH? 40 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:18,225 THE BABY'S OKAY? 41 00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:19,878 NO BABY THERE? 42 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:22,054 OH! MY DAUGHTER'S GONNA KILL ME. 43 00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,687 LET ME TELL YOU, LADIES -- 44 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:48,342 MY BOYFRIEND MADE ME RIDE THE TRAIN IN 45 00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:49,647 JUST TO BREAK UP WITH ME. 46 00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,127 - NO! - DO YOU BELIEVE THAT? 47 00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:52,911 SO, I WANT TO GET EVEN WITH HIM. 48 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,478 HE SENT ME THESE PICTURES, 49 00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,437 SO I'M JUST GONNA SHOW IT TO PEOPLE AROUND HERE. 50 00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:58,308 - OKAY. - OKAY, SO IF YOU SEE HIM, 51 00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,092 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT...OH! 52 00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,312 - ...HE IS JUST SCUM. - OKAY. 53 00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:04,967 - HE'S JUST HORRIBLE. - I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO SEE IT. 54 00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:06,751 IF YOU SEE HIM -- SCUM! 55 00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:09,711 STAY AWAY FROM HIM. HE'S NOT WORTH IT. 56 00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:28,033 EXCUSE ME, DEAR. YOUR HANDS... 57 00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:30,732 ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. 58 00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:33,604 I'M A HAND-MODEL AGENT. CAN I SEE YOUR HANDS? 59 00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:35,519 SURE. 60 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,304 CAN YOU DO THIS FOR ME. 61 00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,958 I THINK WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOU. 62 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:42,526 THIS COULD BE VERY LUCRATIVE. ARE YOU INTERESTED? 63 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,224 YEAH? 64 00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,095 - JUST IMAGINE YOU'RE IN A COMMERCIAL. - MM-HMM. 65 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:49,794 - PUT A LITTLE OF THAT ON. - YES. 66 00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:53,755 NOW JUST SLOWLY WORK THEM -- 67 00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:56,714 THIS COULD BE GOOD. 68 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,369 OKAY. WAVE LIKE IF YOU WERE A QUEEN OR A PRINCESS. 69 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,023 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE WAVING TO THE CROWD. 70 00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:03,591 THIS IS REALLY GOOD. I'M TELLING YOU. 71 00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:06,420 SO ARE YOU LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED? RIGHT. 72 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,030 DANG. 73 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:11,120 WHY COULDN'T YOU BE LEFT HANDED?! 74 00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,646 GOD. LISTEN, I'M AROUND HERE. 75 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:18,954 IF ANYTHING CHANGES, LET ME KNOW, OKAY? 76 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,704 SIR, SIR, SIR. LISTEN, THEY'RE AFTER ME. 77 00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:33,403 AND I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME, BUT THE CODE IS "THE EAGLE IS FLYING." 78 00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,797 REMEMBER THAT. THE EAGLE IS FLYING. REMEMBER THAT CODE. 79 00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:37,625 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 80 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,934 EXCUSE ME. 81 00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,849 I BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO US. 82 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,722 THE EAGLE IS FLYING? 83 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,463 THANK YOU, SIR. 84 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:52,466 YOU HAVE HELPED IN THE DESTRUCTION OF CANADA. 85 00:04:57,688 --> 00:05:01,431 THERE'S BEEN A BIG BACKLASH LATELY ABOUT THE WIDESPREAD USE 86 00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:06,131 OF PHOTOSHOP AND MAKEUP TRICKS AMONG CELEBRITIES AND MODELS. 87 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,396 SO I THOUGHT I'D TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY 88 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,136 TO DISPEL THE MYTH 89 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,488 AND GO TOTALLY MAKEUP-FREE ON YouTube. 90 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,707 I'M GONNA TAKE ALL THIS OFF. 91 00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:19,188 SO, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 92 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:23,018 WELL, THIS IS ME, WARTS AND ALL. 93 00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,368 ♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 94 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,327 ♪ O-O-O-O-OH ♪ 95 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,418 HAVE YOU READ THIS BOOK? 96 00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,420 NO. 97 00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:36,031 YOU KNOW, I HOPE IT DOESN'T HAVE A SAD ENDING. 98 00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:38,816 I REALLY HATE SAD ENDINGS. 99 00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:44,431 PERFECT. NO MORE SAD ENDINGS. 100 00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:47,390 OH, I HATE SAD BEGINNINGS, TOO. 101 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,220 HERE. ENJOY IT. 102 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,962 I LIKE THE PERFECT MIDDLE. 103 00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:08,498 EXCUSE ME. HAVE YOU SEEN ANOTHER GUY WITH CAMOUFLAGE ON? 104 00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:10,674 NOPE. NO? 105 00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:12,633 MICHAEL, I CAN'T SEE YOU ANYWHERE. 106 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:15,592 THIS INVISIBILITY THING IS REALLY WORKING. 107 00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,507 LISTEN, YOU OUGHT TO -- 108 00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,248 - OH, MIKE! NO! - LOU! LOU! IT WORKS! 109 00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,076 IT WORKED. WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 110 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,121 - YOUR PANTS DIDN'T COME BACK. - OH, MY GOD. 111 00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,949 IT ONLY HALF-WORKED! 112 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,092 THANK YOU. SURE. 113 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,444 MM-HMM. 114 00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,757 DO YOU MIND GOING A LITTLE SLOWER? 115 00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,541 OH. 116 00:06:53,804 --> 00:06:56,981 I DIDN'T CATCH HOW YOU SPELLED THAT LAST WORD. 117 00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:03,205 OKAY. 118 00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:05,599 I'M WITH THE NSA, YOU KNOW? 119 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,383 AND, UH, OUR SYSTEMS ARE DOWN, 120 00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,646 SO I HAD TO GO OLD-SCHOOL TODAY 121 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:12,170 AND DO EVERYTHING LONG-HAND. 122 00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:13,476 WHEW. 123 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,217 - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. - ALL RIGHT. 124 00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:31,320 I'M TEACHING MY LITTLE PROTéGé HERE 125 00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:34,932 THE ONE THING EVERY GIRL NEEDS TO KNOW IN THIS TOWN. 126 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,630 GO AHEAD, DEAR. 127 00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:39,459 NO, MR. HEFNER. I'M TOO OLD FOR YOU! 128 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:43,550 I'M SO PROUD. 129 00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:51,514 HI, GUYS. HAPPY HOUR IS ABOUT OVER RIGHT NOW. 130 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,298 UM, BUT -- 131 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,257 - SO, WE'RE GONNA SWITCH OUT WAITRESSES. - OKAY. 132 00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,651 - BUT I'LL SEND HER RIGHT OUT. - GREAT. THANK YOU. 133 00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,304 YOU'RE WELCOME. 134 00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:07,704 HI, GUYS. HI! 135 00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:09,663 - I'M GONNA BE YOUR WAITRESS. - GREAT! 136 00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:12,492 WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE SPECIAL ARE FOR TODAY? 137 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:15,407 - UH, SURE. WHAT ARE THEY? - SURE. 138 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:18,193 "SPECIAL." 139 00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,500 I'LL GIVE YOU A MINUTE TO THINK ABOUT IT. 140 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,895 THAT WAS ODD. 141 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:32,033 HOW ARE YOU? GOOD. 142 00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:35,602 YOU KNOW, TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY. 143 00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,212 - IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY? - YEAH. 144 00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:38,866 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 145 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,869 WELL, THIS IS ONE OF THOSE MILESTONE BIRTHDAYS. 146 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,435 LIKE WHEN YOU'RE 16, 147 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,786 YOU GET YOUR FIRST DRIVER'S LICENSE. 148 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,876 AND WHEN YOU'RE 21, YOU GET YOUR FIRST LEGAL DRINK. 149 00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:52,053 - OH, OKAY. - THIS IS MY 69th BIRTHDAY. 150 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,187 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 151 00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:59,843 I DON'T HAVE ANYBODY TO CELEBRATE MY 69th BIRTHDAY WITH. 152 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:06,328 WOULD YOU LIKE TO CELEBRATE MY 69th BIRTHDAY WITH ME? 153 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:08,069 OH, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. 154 00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:11,463 I WON'T TELL HER. 155 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,510 SO, THAT'S A "YES"? 156 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,599 THIS IS AWKWARD. 157 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,906 - YOU GONNA THINK ABOUT IT? - OKAY. 158 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,995 I'LL BE BACK RIGHT AFTER I GET MY REFILL. 159 00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:23,127 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 160 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,967 YOU LOOK SO FAMILIAR TO ME. 161 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:38,142 OH. 162 00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:39,579 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JAMIE. 163 00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:41,232 I'M ELAINE GIBSON. 164 00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:42,669 MY HUSBAND WAS MARTY. UH-HUH. 165 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,671 DO YOU REMEMBER MARTY? NO. 166 00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,761 I SAW PICTURES OF YOU IN HIS ALBUM. 167 00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:49,763 HE PASSED AWAY. OH. 168 00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:53,505 YOU LOOK LIKE HIS GIRLFRIEND. YOU DON'T REMEMBER? NO. 169 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,508 BECAUSE HE LEFT HIS MISTRESS $2 MILLION. 170 00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,555 OH! THAT'S NOT ME. YEAH, REALLY. 171 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,688 I WISH I HAD THAT MONEY, BUT NO. 172 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:04,255 IT'S NOT YOU? 173 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:07,781 I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU. BYE! 174 00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,093 MISS, CAN I TALK TO YOU, PLEASE? 175 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,834 I WANT TO CHECK YOU OFF. 176 00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:20,402 I HAVE TO CLEAR ALL THE DOGS THAT ARE COMING INTO THE PARK. 177 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:23,710 - ARE YOU SERIOUS? - YEAH. IT'S A CELEBRITY EVENT TODAY. 178 00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,886 - CAN I HAVE YOUR NAME? - UH, SARAH. 179 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,018 - THAT'S THE DOG'S NAME? - OH, NO. CINDERELLY. 180 00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,498 CINDERELLY? UH-HUH. 181 00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:32,066 I GOT A CUDDLES. I GOT A CURLY. 182 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,895 - CINDERELLA, I HAVE. - THAT WORKS. 183 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,853 NO, THAT'S A GREAT DANE ON MY LIST. 184 00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:39,290 YOURS IS, WHAT, A, UH...POMERANIAN. 185 00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,336 OKAY. I'M GONNA SEE WHAT I CAN DO. HANG ON. 186 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,252 YEAH, I GOT A POMERANIAN NAMED CINDERELLY. 187 00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:46,602 I KNOW IT'S A RIDICULOUS NAME. 188 00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:49,213 WOULD YOU PLEASE CHECK AND SEE IF THEY KNOW WHO IT IS? 189 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,694 OKAY. YOU'RE GOOD TO GO. 190 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,740 I'M GONNA PUT YOU ON THE LIST. - OKAY. 191 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,393 WHEN YOU GET UP TO THE TOP OF THE HILL, 192 00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:57,700 THE RED CARPET IS TO THE LEFT. 193 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,410 EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU HELP ME FOR A SECOND? 194 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,325 OH... 195 00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,806 I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT IT'S GOOD. 196 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,679 YEAH. OKAY. CAN YOU JUST HOLD THAT FOR ME FOR ONE SECOND? 197 00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:23,378 YOU KNOW, THESE THINGS ARE SO HARD TO OPEN. 198 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,380 OH, WAIT. YEAH. THIS IS PERFECT. 199 00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:29,036 OKAY. CAN YOU OPEN THAT FOR ME? 200 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,603 YEAH, YEAH. IT'S -- IT'LL BE GOOD. IT'LL BE GOOD. 201 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,171 OH. OH, WOW. OKAY. 202 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:36,608 CAN YOU HOLD THIS FOR ME WHILE I CLOSE IT? 203 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,350 THIS IS PERFECT. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 204 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,918 OKAY, WELL, THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP. 205 00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,307 CAN I GET YOU TO SIGN MY PETITION 206 00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,440 TO LOWER THE COST OF HEARING AIDS? 207 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:27,747 YES, I CAN. YES, MA'AM. WHAT? 208 00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:31,663 - I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU. WHAT? - YES, MA'AM. YES. 209 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,578 YES, MA'AM. 210 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,058 OKAY, MAYBE TRY THIS EAR. 211 00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,060 YES, MA'AM. 212 00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,106 YES. YES. 213 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,760 YES. WE WILL SIGN IT. 214 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,544 WHAT? YES, MA'AM! 215 00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:45,112 OKAY, COULD YOU SPEAK A LITTLE BIT LOUDER? 216 00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:47,331 YOU REALLY NEED TO SPEAK UP A LITTLE BIT. I DON'T WANT TO YELL AT YOU. 217 00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:48,550 - YES! - YES! 218 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,552 OH, OH. 219 00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:54,425 I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU SIGNING THIS FOR ME. 220 00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:55,775 YOU'RE WELCOME. 221 00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:57,341 I'M SORRY. I COULDN'T HEAR YOU. WHAT? 222 00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:58,690 YOU'RE WELCOME. 223 00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,519 OKAY. THIS IS THE GOOD EAR. 224 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:04,609 - WHAT DID YOU SAY? - YOU'RE WELCOME. 225 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,742 WHAT? 226 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,352 BYE! 227 00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:10,006 ♪ OOOH ♪ 228 00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:14,010 ♪ HELLO, HELLO, HELLO ♪ 229 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,449 CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION. ARE MY EYES RED? 230 00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:19,799 NO, ACTUALLY. NOT RED. 231 00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,322 I'M ON BREAK. I WORK ACROSS THE STREET, 232 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,019 AND IF MY BOSS SEES ME WITH RED EYES, 233 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,978 HE'LL MAKE ME TAKE A DRUG TEST. 234 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:26,849 THEY LOOK A LITTLE PINK, BUT NOT SO BAD. 235 00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:29,156 I'LL FAIL THAT TE-- AND I HAVE THE MUNCHIES SO BAD! 236 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:33,769 THAT ALWAYS CURES MY MUNCHIES. DOES IT? 237 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,249 - OH, YEAH. - I'M HEADED THERE NOW. 238 00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:36,598 YOUR LEFT EYE. AND OTHER THAN THAT, YOU'RE GOOD. 239 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:39,079 MY LEFT EYE. OKAY, THANK YOU. 240 00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:48,131 COULD YOU HELP ME FOR JUST FIVE SECONDS? 241 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,525 - WHAT'S IN IT? - IT FELL OFF MY TRUCK, AND IT WAS FRAGILE. 242 00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,309 AND IT'S KIND OF -- 243 00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:55,182 YOU KNOW? SO, I'M JUST TRYING TO GLUE IT UP HERE. 244 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:59,099 YEAH. THAT SHOULD BE GOOD. 245 00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,752 I DON'T THINK... 246 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:02,885 YEAH, IT'LL -- IT'LL DRY UP, AND IT'LL BE TIGHT. 247 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,321 I THINK SO. YOU THINK IT'LL BE BACK TO NORMAL? 248 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:07,063 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. APPRECIATE IT. ALL RIGHT. 249 00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:11,154 ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ 250 00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:14,854 OH, HI, EVERYONE. 251 00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:17,508 I WAS JUST ABOUT TO READ ANOTHER FAN LETTER. 252 00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:19,684 "BETTY, YOU'RE EVERYWHERE THESE DAYS. 253 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,209 DO YOU EVER WORRY ABOUT OVEREXPOSURE?" 254 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:24,080 OF COURSE. 255 00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:27,954 BUT I ALWAYS WEAR SPF 50. 256 00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:35,483 I'M GONNA HAVE TO CITE YOU FOR TAKING SELFIES. 257 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,750 YOU CAN TAKE PICTURES OF THE CARS 258 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:43,883 BECAUSE THE CARS ARE THE STARS HERE TODAY. 259 00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,841 BUT YOU CANNOT TAKE PICTURES OF YOURSELF. 260 00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:48,191 - I DIDN'T. I DIDN'T TAKE MYSELF. - RIGHT. 261 00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:49,627 THAT'S A CAR. THAT'S A CAR. 262 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,107 I CAN SEE... 263 00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:54,023 IN THE REFLECTION IN THAT WINDOW 264 00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:56,069 OF YOU TAKING A PICTURE OF YOURSELF. 265 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,853 YOU SEE THAT? 266 00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:00,551 THAT IS EXHIBIT "A" 267 00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:03,337 WHEN I SEE YOU IN COURT. 268 00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,295 I DIDN'T TAKE ME. 269 00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:08,081 WE HAVE IT ON THE SECURITY CAMERA, SO... 270 00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:09,909 WHAT? 271 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:13,260 WE HAVE IT ON SECURITY CAMERAS. WE HAVE -- ALL RIGHT. 272 00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:16,132 I'M NOT GONNA ARGUE WITH YOU, SIR. I'M GONNA REQUEST BACKUP. 273 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:19,266 BACKUP. REQUESTING BACKUP. 274 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,922 I HAVE A HOSTILE NARCISSIST HERE REFUSING TO COOPERATE. 275 00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:24,836 ETA one minute. 276 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,490 STAY RIGHT HERE. 277 00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:27,578 THANK YOU. 278 00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:49,078 HAVE YOU SEEN MY DOG? THE NAME IS YAMA. 279 00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:51,080 WHITE HAIR, BROWN EYES. 280 00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:52,560 YAMA! 281 00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,866 HERE, DOG! HERE, YAMA! 282 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:58,740 OH. YAMA! OH, WHERE WERE YOU, YOU BAD THING? 283 00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,611 OH, MY GOD. WAIT A MINUTE. 284 00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:02,657 WAIT A MINUTE. YAMA! 285 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,224 SLOW DOWN! 286 00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:07,444 NO, NO! SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN! 287 00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,490 SLOW DOWN! 288 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,192 - EXCUSE ME, LADIES. - HI. 289 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:19,021 I JUST PICKED THIS UP FROM MY POST OFFICE BOX. 290 00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,675 COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND HELP ME OPEN IT UP 291 00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,155 AND I CAN TAKE THE STUFF OUT? 292 00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:23,808 - YEAH. HERE. - I HAVE KEYS. 293 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,376 - IT'S FROM MY BOYFRIEND. - AWW! 294 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:33,079 OKAY. THERE'S ONE MORE BOX HERE. OH, MY GOD. 295 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,084 THERE'S ONE MORE BOX. 296 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,129 MY BOYFRIEND -- HE'S SO NICE. 297 00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,049 THERE'S ONE MORE BOX. 298 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:50,661 I THINK WE'RE GETTING CLOSE. 299 00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:52,054 ONE MORE BOX. 300 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,233 THERE'S ONE MORE BOX. 301 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:02,760 - ALL RIGHT. - ONE MORE. 302 00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,849 THERE'S ANOTHER BOX. 303 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,461 - OH, MY GOD. - THERE YOU GO. 304 00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:08,810 OH, MY GOD. 305 00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:10,464 OH, MY GOD! 306 00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,335 - I GOT TO GO TELL MY GIRLFRIEND! - OH, MY GOSH! 307 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,076 WILL YOU GUYS RECYCLE THESE FOR ME, PLEASE?! 308 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,252 YES! GO! 309 00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:18,994 - CONGRATULATIONS! - THANK YOU! THANK YOU! 310 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:22,432 SHE'S SO EXCITED! 311 00:17:22,606 --> 00:17:24,173 WHAT?! OH, MY GOD. I KNOW. 312 00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:27,089 I FEEL LIKE I WAS A PART OF THAT. 313 00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,705 HI. 314 00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,620 CAN I -- CAN I -- CAN YOU GIVE ME HAND, 315 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:39,319 BECAUSE I NEED TO GO GO THE BATHROOM, 316 00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:42,409 AND I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME TO WATCH. 317 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,847 YES. CAN YOU? JUST TWO SECONDS. 318 00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:47,370 NO. IT'S MY BOYFRIEND. 319 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:50,330 LIKE TWO SECONDS. YOU CAN SIT, AND... 320 00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,854 NO. I AM SORRY. 321 00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,769 CAN YOU, PLEASE? THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT. 322 00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:56,466 - ALL RIGHT. HOW YOU DOING, MAN? - THANK YOU SO MUCH. 323 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,033 I WILL BE BACK. 324 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,601 - HI, I'M JAMAL. - HI. HI, THERE. 325 00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:04,300 SIR, CAN YOU -- CAN YOU HELP ME? 326 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:07,390 SHE WANTS TO DO IT THREE, FOUR TIMES A DAY, 327 00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:09,175 AND IT GETS A LITTLE TIRING FOR ME 328 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,828 BECAUSE I'M JUST GETTING TOO OLD. 329 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:12,917 I WANT YOUR -- I JUST WONDER IF YOU COULD -- 330 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,529 IF YOU MAYBE TAKE OVER AND DO WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING 331 00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,444 WITH HER FOR, YOU KNOW, THREE AND FOUR TIMES A DAY. 332 00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:20,403 MAYBE, YOU KNOW, JUST HELP SATISFY HER, BECAUSE 333 00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,666 SHE REALLY -- YOU KNOW, SHE JUST, UH -- 334 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,886 YOU DON'T MIND, DUDE? THAT'S YOUR -- THAT'S YOUR RELATIONSHIP, MAN. 335 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:27,367 UH, JUST -- YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS. 336 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,586 YOU KNOW, THINGS CHANGE, SORT OF. 337 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,414 NOW, PLEASE HELP ME, HUH? PLEASE, HELP ME. 338 00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,721 I'M BACK! 339 00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,592 OH, HI. HOW YOU DOING? 340 00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,420 UH... AGAIN? 341 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:41,337 HUH? WELL, WE --ARE YOU TRY TO LEAVE ME FOR OTHER GUY? 342 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,991 NO. NO, I'M NOT. NO, I'M NOT. 343 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,906 I-I-I JUST WAS TALKING TO THIS NICE GENTLEMAN. 344 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,430 I MEAN, HE SEEMS TO BE VERY SYMPATHETIC. 345 00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,954 OH, MY GOD. HE'S TOO YOUNG FOR ME. YOU KNOW THAT! 346 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,696 OH, SWEETHEART, I KNOW. BUT -- BUT, UH... 347 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,785 - NO, COME ON. LET'S GO. - OH, YOU GUYS... 348 00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:56,700 THANKS A LOT, SIR. THANKS A LOT. 349 00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:58,615 LET ME TELL YOU... 350 00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:00,487 NO. 351 00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,765 I'VE BEEN GIVING PARKING TICKETS FOR 45 YEARS, 352 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,506 BUT TODAY'S MY LAST DAY, SO -- 353 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,290 THEY SAID PUT A DIME IN THE MACHINE WHEN YOU LEAVE. 354 00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:23,249 - IF YOU'RE GOING IN FOR A MINUTE, IT'S A DIME. - YEAH. 355 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:26,991 YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S MY LAST DAY. YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE. 356 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,255 I'M GONNA -- I'M NOT GONNA USE THESE ANYMORE. 357 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:31,909 WHAT IS THIS? IT'S A ONE-DAY HANDICAP PARK THING. 358 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,302 - OH, MY GOODNESS. - OH, MY GOSH. 359 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,086 - YEAH. GO AHEAD. - THANK YOU SO MUCH. 360 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,784 HAVE A GOOD DAY. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR CAREER. 361 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:39,352 LISTEN, DO ME A FAVOR -- JUST TO COVER ME, 362 00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,658 WHEN YOU WALK AWAY, JUST GIVE A LITTLE LIMP. 363 00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:43,617 I CAN DO THAT. KEYSER SOZE. - OKAY. 364 00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:46,054 JUST A LITTLE BIT. COME ON. THAT'S RIGHT. 365 00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,317 ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU LATER. 366 00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:58,762 AND NOW, "BETTY WHITE'S PEARLS OF WISDOM." 367 00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:00,503 IF YOU'RE IN THE CAR 368 00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,723 AND REALLY NEED TO MAKE CONTACT WITH SOMEONE, 369 00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:06,248 PLEASE DON'T EVER TEXT AND DRIVE. 370 00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:10,818 I FIND IT'S FAR MORE EFFECTIVE TO JUST RUN INTO THEM. 371 00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:17,303 WHOO! 372 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,872 OH! OH! 373 00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:23,570 THAT'S MY DINNER! 374 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,536 - IT WORKED! - IT ONLY HALF-WORKED! 375 00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:41,065 . 26810

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