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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:16,494 EXCUSE ME. MISS? 2 00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,975 COULD I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 3 00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:22,326 I HAVE A DATE, AND I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT MY HAIR. 4 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,285 - HOW DOES IT LOOK? - IT LOOKS REALLY GOOD. 5 00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:25,460 DOES IT LOOK OKAY? 6 00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:27,288 - YEAH, I LIKE IT. - OH, THANKS. 7 00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,116 YOU KNOW, THERE'S THIS GUY FROM MY SENIOR RETIREMENT HOME, 8 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:30,465 AND HE'S ASKED ME OUT SO MANY TIMES, 9 00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:31,770 AND I FINALLY SAID YES. 10 00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:33,729 OH, GOOD. YOU LOOK SO PRETTY. 11 00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:35,296 THANK YOU. I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS. 12 00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:36,123 AWW, THAT'S CUTE. 13 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:36,949 HERBERT! 14 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,081 THERE HE IS. 15 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,691 HI. HOW ARE YOU? HELLO. 16 00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,867 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FINALLY DECIDED 17 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,478 TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME. 18 00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:44,783 THANK YOU! 19 00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:46,089 EXCUSE US. YEAH. THANK YOU. 20 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:47,395 AWW. THANKS. 21 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,875 GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? GOOD. 22 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,182 SHALL WE? 23 00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:58,623 YOU KNOW, I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO THIS SONG. 24 00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,191 - WHOA. - OH! 25 00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:03,193 WHOO! OH! 26 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,065 SHAKE THAT BAD BOOTY, BABY. 27 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,980 I MEAN, TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NOTHING STUCK IN MY TEETH. 28 00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:08,807 OH, MY GOD! 29 00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:17,033 Girl: BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR! 30 00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,556 IT IS FAIR! 31 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,471 IT'S NOT! NO FAIR! 32 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:25,215 BELOW-THE-TITLE BILLING IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE 33 00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:28,436 FOR A ROLE THAT ONLY HAS ONE LINE. 34 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:31,047 KIDS TODAY. 35 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:42,406 COME HERE, POOCHIE. POOCHIE, COME HERE. 36 00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,756 SAY "HELLO." SAY "HELLO." 37 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,281 COME HERE. DON'T BE SHY. 38 00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:49,196 SHE GETS VERY SHY OVER NEW PEOPLE. 39 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,372 SHE'S A LITTLE -- 40 00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:52,590 STRANGERS AND -- AW. 41 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:54,549 COME ON. COME ON. COME ON. 42 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,639 COME ON. 43 00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:00,207 SOMETIMES IF YOU -- YOU HAVE TO ACT -- 44 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,122 SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE A DOG. 45 00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:05,037 GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. 46 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:08,215 YOU KNOW HOW THEY ARE. 47 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,781 AH. 48 00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:12,871 OH, YEAH. 49 00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,569 HAVE A GOOD DAY. 50 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,614 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK SHE NEEDS A LITTLE FIBER. 51 00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:18,877 - OH, REALLY? - YEAH. 52 00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:21,924 OKAY. AH. 53 00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:23,969 AH. 54 00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,721 HAVE YOU EVER SENT AN INSTAGRAM? 55 00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:39,202 I'M TRYING TO SEND ONE TO MY GIRLFRIEND. 56 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,204 I HAVE TO EDIT THIS, 57 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,727 BUT I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PUTTING A FILTER ON THIS. OH, MY GOD! 58 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,381 HE'S MY NEW LOVER. 59 00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:45,426 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 60 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,818 OH, NO. 61 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:49,604 NO? THAT'S MY NEW GUY. 62 00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,736 I SHOULDN'T DO THAT? OH, REALLY? 63 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,695 INSTAGRAM COULD BAN YOU FOR THAT. 64 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,087 OKAY. 65 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,574 ATM FEES, MY ASS. 66 00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:06,142 THERE YOU GO! 67 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,501 - GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU. - YEAH? 68 00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,678 CAN YOU TELL WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR WE'RE WEARING? 69 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:21,940 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 70 00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:25,205 UH...UM... 71 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,383 WHAT? 72 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,080 - G-STRING. YOU'RE WRONG. - G-STRING? 73 00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,778 THE TRUTH IS, WE DON'T WEAR ANY UNDERWEAR. SEE? 74 00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,215 OH. OH, GOD. 75 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,955 BUT SOMEBODY YOU KNOW MIGHT FIT THOSE. 76 00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:56,714 EXCUSE ME, SIR. WHAT DID YOU BUY? 77 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,281 BEER CANS? 78 00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,414 OKAY, I'LL BUY THEM FOR YOU FOR $1 EACH, 79 00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,851 AND THEN I'LL SELL THEM TO YOU FOR 50 CENTS. 80 00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:06,289 I'M TRYING TO GENERATE SALES. 81 00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,422 OKAY, SO, HOW MUCH YOU PAY FOR THIS? 82 00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:10,293 $2 EACH. $2? 83 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:11,468 WHAT'S THIS? 84 00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:14,602 $2. 85 00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:18,258 WHAT'S THIS? GLOVES. $8. 86 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,912 SO, $14. WHAT YOU GOT IN THE BAG? 87 00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:23,480 BEER CANS.$20. 88 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:28,616 I WILL GIVE YOU $17. 89 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,792 OKAY. NOW WHAT? 90 00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:33,098 NOW YOU GIVE ME $20. 91 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,883 OKAY. 92 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:37,407 I MADE A SALE. 93 00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:41,585 HERE YOU GO. 94 00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,283 ALL ABOUT VOLUME. 95 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,154 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. THANKS. 96 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:48,113 TELL YOUR FRIENDS! I WILL! 97 00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:52,335 Announcer: SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHO KILLED RASPUTIN, 98 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:55,164 BUT IS TOO POLITE TO TELL. 99 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:59,168 SHE ONCE COUNTED TO INFINITY...TWICE. 100 00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:03,738 SHE WEARS SUNGLASSES TO PROTECT THE SUN FROM HER EYES. 101 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:08,264 CAN I HAVE MY FREE DINNER NOW? YOU PROMISED. 102 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:11,702 JUST FIVE MORE MINUTES. 103 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:15,489 SHE ONCE TOLD A LIE JUST TO SEE HOW IT FELT. 104 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,012 ♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 105 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,448 ♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪ 106 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,232 ♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 107 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,669 ♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪ 108 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:24,759 DO I HAVE IT RIGHT? 109 00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,239 OH, OH. OH, GOD. 110 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,375 OH. OH, GOD.♪ HEY, HEY ♪ 111 00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:35,160 OH. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 112 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,946 COME TO THE CLASS. I TEACH IT. 113 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:47,999 MA'AM, I'D LIKE TO LET YOU KNOW ABOUT THE NEW BAG POLICY. 114 00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,393 FIRST BAG IS FREE GOING UP AND DOWN THE ESCALATOR. 115 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,439 SECOND BAG, THERE'S GONNA BE A CHARGE. 116 00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:56,138 WHAT? EVEN IF YOU BRING YOUR OWN? 117 00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,401 YOU TAKE YOUR OWN BAG ON THE AIRLINE, THEY STILL CHARGE YOU. 118 00:05:58,575 --> 00:05:59,663 REALLY? 119 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:02,057 YEAH. YEAH. IT'S BRAND-NEW. 120 00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:03,363 OKAY? WOW. 121 00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:04,494 SHOP ON. 122 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:11,980 "DEAR BETTY, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT 123 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,808 ABOUT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?" 124 00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:19,074 OH, NO, DEAR. I COULD NEVER BE PRESIDENT. 125 00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:22,686 I'D HAVE TO GIVE UP TOO MUCH POWER. 126 00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:34,350 HERE YOU GO. RIGHT THIS WAY. 127 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,657 SURE. HANG ON A SEC. 128 00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:39,442 HANG ON A SEC. I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE ON THE LIST. 129 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:40,617 WHICH ONE IS THAT? 130 00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:42,358 THE VIP LIST FOR THIS AISLE. 131 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,316 SEE, THE THING IS, THERE WAS A PROBLEM 132 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:45,579 LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, 133 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,059 AND, UH... 134 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:51,628 ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. HEY, GUYS, HANG ON A SEC. 135 00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,283 IF I CAN CARD YOU, I'LL LET YOU GO THROUGH. 136 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,111 I DON'T HAVE MY I.D. ON ME. 137 00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:58,026 SORRY, FELLAS. 138 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,202 WE GOT TO GO? ALL RIGHT. 139 00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:09,603 WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? SURE. 140 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,388 I'M EXPECTING A BLIND DATE IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES, 141 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:14,477 AND IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN ON A DATE, 142 00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,174 I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP ME. 143 00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:18,307 - SURE. - I USED TO WORK IN SOAP OPERAS, 144 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,135 AND WE ALWAYS USED CUE CARDS, 145 00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,964 SO I WAS THINKING MAYBE I COULD USE THE CUE CARDS, 146 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:25,096 AND IT WOULD HELP ME TO TALK TO HIM. 147 00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:26,881 - SO, COULD YOU HELP ME? - SURE. 148 00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,491 JUST MAYBE HOLD THEM FOR A SECOND, 149 00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:29,231 AND YOU COULD PRETEND LIKE YOU'RE THE DATE? 150 00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:32,016 OKAY. UM...OKAY. 151 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,192 HELLO. HELLO. 152 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:36,804 ISN'T THAT A HANDSOME JACKET? 153 00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:39,589 WAS THAT GOOD? YEAH. 154 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,591 YEAH. SO, OKAY, LET'S TRY THE SECOND ONE. 155 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:45,377 I'M AN ARIES. WHAT ARE YOU? 156 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:46,727 THAT'S GOOD. 157 00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:47,989 THAT'S GOOD? YEAH. 158 00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:49,817 - YOU THINK THAT'LL GET HIM? - YEAH. 159 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:52,472 - OKAY, ONE MORE. OKAY. - OKAY. 160 00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,866 LET'S TAKE THIS PARTY TO THE BEDROOM, SAILOR. 161 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,521 WELL, LATER IN THE EVENING, YEAH. 162 00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,131 YOU THINK THAT'S A LITTLE AGGRESSIVE? 163 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:03,221 RIGHT AWAY, YEAH. BUT LATER, AFTER DINNER -- THEN. 164 00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:07,095 LET'S TAKE THIS TO THE BEDROOM, SAILOR. 165 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,618 YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU LOOK NICE. 166 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,402 SO, YOU THINK I'M --I LIKE PURPLE. 167 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,579 OH. SO, YOU THINK I'M GONNA GET LUCKY TONIGHT? 168 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:13,884 YEAH. TOTALLY. 169 00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,190 ALL RIGHT. WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 170 00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:16,452 - WHAT'S YOUR NAME? - I'M DENISE. 171 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:17,758 DENISE. TIM. TIM! 172 00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,107 - IT WAS GOOD TO MEET YOU. - ARE YOU BUSY? 173 00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,195 HUH? 174 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,076 I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF. 175 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,904 THE NEW TECHNOLOGY. 176 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:36,080 YOU KNOW, I CAN WRITE THIS MEMO. 177 00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,560 IT'S AN iPAD, YOU KNOW? 178 00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,127 HOW DO YOU SPELL "THEIR"? 179 00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:41,608 IT DEPENDS ON WHICH "THEIR" YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 180 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:44,741 WELL, NOT LIKE -- NOT LIKE "OVER THERE." 181 00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:47,135 T-H-E-I-R. T-H-E-I-R. 182 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:48,919 WOULD YOU HOLD THAT ONE SECOND FOR ME? 183 00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,052 GEE. 184 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,967 NOW I'M GONNA STRAIGHTEN THIS OUT RIGHT NOW. 185 00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,709 - AH. - AH. 186 00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,972 AH. THAT'S GOOD. 187 00:08:58,146 --> 00:09:00,148 T-H-E-R-E. 188 00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:02,411 T-H-E-I-R. 189 00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:03,673 WHY DON'T YOU JUST -- 190 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,414 'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO SEND OUT 191 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,285 SOMETHING SHOWING SPELLING ERRORS. 192 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:20,168 DOCTORS SAY THAT HAVING A HOBBY IS SO IMPORTANT TO YOUR HEALTH. 193 00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:24,433 THAT'S WHY EVERY NOW AND THEN, I LIKE TO DO SOME BIRD-WATCHING. 194 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,304 OH, HERE IN CALIFORNIA, 195 00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:30,091 WE HAVE SOME WONDERFUL SPECIES RIGHT IN OUR OWN BACKYARD. 196 00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:32,572 OH, WE HAVE MEADOWLARKS, 197 00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:35,923 SPARROWS, WESTERN SEA GULLS... 198 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:39,709 HOT MIDWESTERN NEW NEIGHBORS. 199 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,799 YEP. 200 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:46,455 NOTHING LIKE A HOBBY TO GET THE OLD BLOOD PUMPING. 201 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:51,808 ♪ DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH DAH ♪ 202 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:55,203 SIR, COULD YOU HELP ME A MINUTE, PLEASE? 203 00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,727 THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO PICK ME UP FROM THE HOME, 204 00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,642 AND, UH, THEY'RE A LITTLE LATE. 205 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,513 SO, IF YOU DON'T MIND CALLING THEM. 206 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,125 ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S THE PHONE NUMBER? 207 00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,518 THE NUMBER IS, UH, 323-494... 208 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,304 323... 494-6-- 209 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:12,742 I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED, SO JUST HOLD WITH ME ON THAT, WOULD YOU, PLEASE? 210 00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,178 HEY, LOU. ARE YOU READY TO GO BACK HOME? 211 00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:15,658 OH, HONEY, THERE YOU ARE. 212 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:17,878 YOU READY? HERE, LET ME TAKE THIS FOR YOU. 213 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,270 COME ON. JUMP IN THE LIMO. I'LL GIVE YOU A BACK RUB. 214 00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:21,055 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 215 00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:22,752 I'LL PUT THIS STUFF IN, AND I'LL HELP YOU IN, OKAY? 216 00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,319 OKAY. OKAY. 217 00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,929 ALL RIGHT. I'LL GIVE YOU A MASSAGE IN THE LIMO. 218 00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:28,236 OH, THANK YOU. OKAY. HELP ME. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 219 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,073 HI. 220 00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:41,684 I JUST BOUGHT THESE X-RAY GLASSES, 221 00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:44,600 AND YOU'RE WEARING THE SAME UNDERWEAR THAT I HAVE ON. 222 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:52,608 ♪ OHHHH, OH ♪ 223 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:57,613 ♪ OHHHH, OH ♪ 224 00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:02,879 ♪ OHHHH, OH ♪ 225 00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,797 IT'S REALLY HARD NOT TO ACT ON IMPULSES, 226 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:10,713 BUT IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING NAUGHTY, 227 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,237 TAKE A DEEP BREATH, TAKE A STEP BACK, 228 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:16,588 AND ASK YOURSELF, "WHAT WOULD BETTY WHITE DO?" 229 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:20,810 AND THEN WHAT YOU INITIALLY HAD IN MIND WON'T SEEM SO BAD. 230 00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,209 EXCUSE ME. I LEFT MY WALLET BACK THERE. 231 00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:29,863 COULD YOU JUST WATCH THIS FOR ONE SECOND? 232 00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:33,649 THANKS A MILLION. ONE SECOND. 233 00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:34,737 ONE SECOND. 234 00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:49,796 HYAH! 235 00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:56,541 RIGHT, NOW... 236 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,500 OH! 237 00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:01,416 WHAT -- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! 238 00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,810 SORRY. A KARATE MAN CAME AND CHOPPED THE CAKE. 239 00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,594 A KARATE MAN?! 240 00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:07,074 I DON'T KNOW. 241 00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:08,640 WHERE IS HE? I DON'T SEE NO KARATE MAN. 242 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,077 HE WENT THAT WAY. 243 00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:12,993 HEY! HEY! 244 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:16,866 THE HELL YOU DO? KARATE MAN! 245 00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:26,484 Man: LADIES. 246 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,138 - YEAH? - HANG ON A SEC. 247 00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:29,618 THERE'S, UH, SOME HEAVY MACHINERY 248 00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:30,837 BEING OPERATED IN THE AREA. 249 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,664 OKAY. 250 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:35,580 - AND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ARE DISTRACTING THE DRIVERS. - YEAH. 251 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,495 SO, AS A SAFETY MEASURE, 252 00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:39,759 WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO PUT THESE ON. 253 00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,369 HERE. 254 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:44,894 AND WE DON'T WANT ANY DISTRACTION. 255 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:45,939 PUT ON THOSE GLASSES. 256 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,071 - OKAY. - OKAY. 257 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,943 THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. 258 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:51,640 ♪ OOH, GIRL ♪ 259 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,642 THANK YOU FOR COOPERATING. 260 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:59,126 PUT IT ON. PUT IT ON. PUT IT ON. 261 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,301 - IT'S BRAND-NEW. - NO, NO, NO, NO. 262 00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:01,519 IT'S BRAND-NEW. 263 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,739 PUT IT ON. GO AHEAD. 264 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,262 DON'T YOU WANT TO ABIDE BY THE LAW? 265 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:06,829 I'M JUST DOING MY JOB HERE. 266 00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,266 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 267 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,660 THANK YOU FOR BEING A GOOD CITIZEN. 268 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:19,233 IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? 269 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,930 IS THERE A DOCTOR HERE? 270 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,714 - ARE YOU A DOCTOR? - NO. 271 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,020 DO YOU KNOW A DOCTOR? 272 00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:26,109 IS THERE A DOCTOR HERE? 273 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,719 - ARE YOU A DOCTOR? - OF LOVE. 274 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,721 OH! TAKE MY NUMBER. I ONLY DATE DOCTORS. 275 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:37,207 MISS? MISS? 276 00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:39,296 UH, I WONDER IF YOU COULD HELP ME. 277 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,951 I'VE HAD JUST A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH TO DRINK, 278 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:44,998 AND I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE HOME MY -- MY -- MY VEHICLE. 279 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:46,651 YEAH, I'LL -- I GUESS I COULD RIDE IT. 280 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:47,827 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 281 00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:49,437 YEAH. COME ON DOWN THIS WAY. 282 00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:50,960 I'M AFRAID TO GET INTO AN ACCIDENT WITH IT. 283 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,788 YEAH, YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. 284 00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,659 OKAY. COME DOWN HERE. 285 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,139 OKAY. MAKE A U-TURN. 286 00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,924 THAT'S NICE. I LIKE IT. 287 00:13:58,098 --> 00:13:59,882 TURN AROUND AND THEN JUST COME UP THIS WAY LIKE THAT. 288 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,318 OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT? 289 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,886 YOU KNOW, I THINK I'VE SOBERED UP A LITTLE BIT. 290 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,062 - I CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE. - ARE YOU SURE? 291 00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:09,805 IT'S FINE. I THINK I CAN DO IT. GEEZ, THANKS A LOT. 292 00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:11,459 ARE YOU SURE? I CAN -- 293 00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:13,069 THANKS A LOT. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 294 00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,469 WHEN YOU GET TO BE OUR AGE, 295 00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:23,775 YOU NEED TO TAKE EVERY PRECAUTION IN YOUR HOME 296 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,951 TO AVOID INJURY. 297 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:26,474 THAT SHOULD DO IT, BETTY. 298 00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:29,390 AH. OKAY, BOYS, LET 'ER RIP! 299 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:32,872 YEAH, BABY! YEAH, BABY! 300 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:36,876 HEY, GET YOUR COLD BEER! HEY, GET YOUR COLD BEER! 301 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:40,967 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY -- SAFETY FIRST. 302 00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:50,585 DO YOU WEAR THESE SKINNY JEANS? 303 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:53,544 DO YOU KNOW HOW SKINNY THESE -- TIGHT THESE THINGS ARE? 304 00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,416 MY FEET ABOUT TO BURST. 305 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,809 IF YOU COULD JUST -- JUST CUT THE BOTTOM OF THEM FOR ME 306 00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,334 SO I CAN TRY TO JUST GET OUT OF THEM? 307 00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:04,555 YOU KNOW -- YEAH, I CAN'T -- I CAN'T EVEN MOVE MY LEGS. 308 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:11,258 ALL RIGHT, CUT -- OH, YEAH! OH! 309 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:12,868 YEAH! 310 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:13,913 TRY THE OTHER ONE NOW. 311 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:15,131 WHO GOT YOU SKINNY JEANS? 312 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,654 MY DAUGHTER GOT ME 313 00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,308 - IN THESE THINGS. - OH. 314 00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:21,050 AND I DIDN'T HAVE MY PHONE TO CALL HER. 315 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:24,488 OH, THAT'S GREAT. OH! OH! 316 00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:25,533 OH! 317 00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:26,664 THANKS. OH! 318 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,623 YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY. 319 00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,984 HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING? 320 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,247 SO FAR, SO GOOD. 321 00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:46,641 I'VE HAD A LOT OF PROBLEMS, AND I'VE BEEN DISTRESSED. 322 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:50,558 BUT I HAVE THESE AFFIRMATIONS. 323 00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:54,866 MY THERAPIST SAYS THAT I NEED SOMEBODY TO READ THEM TO ME. 324 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,042 WOULD YOU READ THEM TO ME? 325 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,173 SURE. OH, YOU'RE SO NICE. 326 00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:58,435 ALL RIGHT. 327 00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,089 AND THAT'LL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. 328 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,309 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. WELL, YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN. 329 00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:03,658 THANK YOU. I AM. 330 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:04,746 - YOU ARE A CARING WOMAN. - I AM CARING. 331 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,704 YOU'RE A TOTAL BABE. OH, WOW. 332 00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,359 YOU'RE A DEMON IN THE SACK. 333 00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,361 OH! NO! 334 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,711 YOUR SEXUAL DEVIANCE IS UNMATCHED. 335 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,017 GEE. 336 00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:17,672 YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL LAUGH. 337 00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:20,718 - YOU'VE GOT A KILLER RACK. - OH! NO! 338 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,372 AND THEN WE'RE BACK TO THE START. 339 00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,461 OH, YOU'VE MADE -- WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 340 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:25,593 ZACK. HI, ZACK. 341 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:28,335 NICE TO MEET YOU. WOW. 342 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:30,467 IF I'M THAT GREAT, MAYBE WE SHOULD SEE EACH OTHER LATER. 343 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,341 - YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY. - YOU TOO. 344 00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:35,907 THANK YOU. YOU'RE A SWEETHEART. 345 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:39,041 ♪ OOH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪ 346 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,087 OH, MY GOD. OH, EXCUSE ME, GUYS. 347 00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:43,480 COULD YOU WATCH MY SCOOTER FOR A MINUTE? 348 00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:45,134 I LEFT SOMETHING IN THE OTHER STORE. 349 00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,744 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 350 00:16:46,918 --> 00:16:49,356 OH, MY GOSH. 351 00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:56,145 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING THIS, YOU GUYS. 352 00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:59,714 I JUST REALLY NEEDED THAT FOR A MINUTE. THANK YOU. 353 00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:02,586 WHOO! 354 00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,725 ♪ WOW, YEAH ♪ 355 00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,596 EXCUSE ME, SIR. 356 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,990 COULD YOU HELP ME ACROSS THE STREET? 357 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:15,904 SURE. 358 00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,645 DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN? 359 00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,212 I USED TO WORK HERE. 360 00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,431 OH. HOW NICE. 361 00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,564 YEAH. YES. 362 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:25,914 - SO, ARE YOU SINGLE? - YES. 363 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,655 - REALLY? - MM-HMM. 364 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:28,873 OH. OH, WAIT, THOUGH. 365 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,658 HE -- OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 366 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,747 HE LOOKS LIKE A TALL DRINK OF WATER, HONEY. 367 00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,531 I'M GONNA GO WITH HIM. 368 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:37,665 YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE, DEAR! 369 00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:54,899 EXCUSE ME. YOU MIND IF I JUST SIT HERE A SECOND? 370 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,902 JUST A SECOND. I JUST GOT FIRED. 371 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,253 OH, WE'RE ACTUALLY -- I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. 372 00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,081 WHERE'D YOU WORK AT? 373 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:04,300 AN INSURANCE COMPANY. 374 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:06,433 MAN, I'M THE BEST WORKER THEY EVER HAD -- 375 00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:09,000 - 29 YEARS AND 6 MONTHS. - OH, MY GOD. I'M SO SORRY. 376 00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:10,872 LOOK, THEY JUST TOLD ME TO PACK UP MY STUFF AND LEAVE. 377 00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:12,482 I GOT MY PILLOW. EVERYBODY'S SUPPOSED TO REST. 378 00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,919 WORKERS SHOULD BE RESTED, RIGHT? 379 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,226 SO, THEY GOT ANGRY ABOUT THAT. 380 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,011 SO, I HAVE A LITTLE POP BEFORE LUNCH. 381 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:23,406 I MEAN, I BRING THESE PEOPLE $1 1/2 MILLION A YEAR! 382 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,016 SO I HAD A DRINK. 383 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,367 - I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT, MAN. - DAMN IT! 384 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:31,110 AND THEN THERE'S THESE. THESE ARE FURRY HANDCUFFS. 385 00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:33,808 I MEAN, I COULD HAVE GOT LUCKY AT THE OFFICE, RIGHT? 386 00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:36,767 I MEAN, YOU KNOW. 387 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:39,205 29 YEARS AND 6 -- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. YOU KNOW WHAT? 388 00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:41,816 I'M SORRY. I'M OUT. 389 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,222 - AREN'T THOSE THE SHOES? - THOSE SHOES. YES, YES. 390 00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:58,572 - SIR, A MOMENT? I HAVE A QUESTION. - EXCUSE US. 391 00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:02,097 - I LOVE THOSE SHOES. - UH-HUH. 392 00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:03,446 WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO SELL THOSE SHOES 393 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,578 RIGHT NOW FOR THE RIGHT PRICE? 394 00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:07,711 LET'S SAY $500? 395 00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:09,539 $500? 396 00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:10,888 WOULD THAT BE S-- WOULD THAT BE SATISFACTORY? 397 00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:12,325 FOR ME? 398 00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:13,935 - YES. - YES. FOR THE SHOES. 399 00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:16,111 HE'S DRIVING A HARD BARGAIN. LET'S MAKE IT $1,000. 400 00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:18,635 $1,000. OKAY. 401 00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,985 - WOULD YOU TAKE THEM OFF? - SURE! 402 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,509 OKAY. THANK YOU. 403 00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,685 IF YOU DON'T MIND, YAMA, MAY I EXAMINE ONE? 404 00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:25,947 OKAY. YES, YES, YES, YES. 405 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,122 AND CAN I SEE THIS ONE? 406 00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:28,602 OKAY. OKAY. 407 00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,256 OH, NO. OH, NO, LOOK. 408 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:31,692 OH, THEY'RE STAINED. 409 00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,215 - OH, LOOK. - YES, THEY'RE STAINED. 410 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:34,477 OH. I'M SORRY. THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK. 411 00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:35,913 YES. THANK YOU. 412 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:37,480 - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. - LET'S FIND ANOTHER. 413 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:41,223 WE'LL FIND A BETTER PAIR. THANK YOU. 414 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:51,886 Announcer: AND NOW... 415 00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:55,411 WHEN IT COMES TO FIRST DATES, 416 00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:58,153 YOU SHOULD ALWAYS KEEP YOUR MIND OPEN 417 00:19:58,327 --> 00:19:59,981 AND YOUR LEGS CLOSED. 418 00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:02,418 WHEN IT COMES TO SECOND DATES, 419 00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:05,116 YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR MIND OPEN. 420 00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:08,816 YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS. 421 00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:12,472 HYAH! 422 00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:14,082 THERE YOU GO! 423 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:17,303 GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. 424 00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,135 WHAT? 425 00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:36,060 OH! OH! 29338

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