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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:12,925 EXCUSE ME. 2 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,884 I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO WORK TODAY, 3 00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,930 AND I JUST KIND OF BLEW IT OFF 'CAUSE I WANTED TO GO SHOPPING. 4 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,802 AND I SAW MY BOSS GETTING OFF THE TRAIN, 5 00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,282 AND I TOLD HIM I WAS MEETING MY BOYFRIEND FROM OUT OF TOWN. 6 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:22,718 Man: HELEN? 7 00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:23,675 JUST PRETEND LIKE YOU KNOW ME, OKAY? 8 00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:24,807 HELEN. 9 00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,287 FANCY MEETING YOU HERE. 10 00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:27,331 I KNOW. 11 00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,811 IS THIS THE YOUNG MAN? 12 00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,682 Y-YES. WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR A WHILE. 13 00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:31,988 A WHILE. 14 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,121 PLEASED TO MEET YOU. YEAH, YEAH. 15 00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,557 YOU'RE SOMETHING ELSE. 16 00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,167 AND HE IS REALLY GOOD IN BED. 17 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:39,300 SHE'S A YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. 18 00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:40,997 THIS IS A REALLY SPECIAL THING, OKAY? 19 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,085 HE'S SO SWEET. 20 00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:43,304 Okay. 21 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,870 SO, UH, ARE YOU BUSY? 22 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,263 NO, MA'AM. 23 00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:49,353 OH, OKAY. YOU WANT TO GO HAVE A DRINK? 24 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,225 AS A FRIENDLY DRINK? WELL, NO. 25 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:52,965 YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT COULD LEAD TO A LITTLE BIT MORE. 26 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,358 OH, NO, MA'AM. 27 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,665 YOU SURE? 28 00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,841 I LIKE 'EM YOUNG. 29 00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:00,669 JUST A DRINK? AT MY PLACE. 30 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,106 YEAH, MY PLACE. 31 00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:10,679 HI. 32 00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,898 GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. 33 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,336 COMPLIMENTS OF THAT LOVELY WOMAN. 34 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,381 BRIEFS, BOXERS, OR COMMANDO? 35 00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,215 AS YOU GET OLDER, 36 00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:27,478 ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS TO GO IS YOUR HEARING. 37 00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,915 BETTY, CAN YOU GIVE ME A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT NEXT WEEK? 38 00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,136 BETTY? 39 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,052 ACTUALLY, HEARING IS THE SECOND THING TO GO. 40 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:37,662 THE FIRST THING TO GO 41 00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:40,361 IS GIVING YOUR FRIENDS A LIFT TO THE AIRPORT. 42 00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:45,931 EXCUSE ME, FOLKS. 43 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,629 I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU, 44 00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,196 BUT WE'RE HAVING A PROBLEM 45 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,633 WITH PEOPLE USING CELLPHONES IN THE MALL, 46 00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:54,288 AND IT'S DISRUPTING OUR SIGNALS FOR SECURITY. 47 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,898 SO JUST LIKE SOME OF THESE OTHER FOLKS -- 48 00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:57,465 YOU CAN SEE THIS YOUNG LADY RIGHT HERE -- 49 00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,249 I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU 50 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,296 TO USE THE PERSONALIZED PHONE BOOTHS THAT WE SUPPLY. 51 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,515 AND YOU CAN CONTINUE YOUR CALL. 52 00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,300 OH. 53 00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:09,825 NOW, I GOT TO TELL YOU THAT IT'LL BE 25 CENTS A MINUTE, 54 00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:12,567 JUST LIKE IN THE OLD DAYS. 55 00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,525 YEAH, 25 CENTS A MINUTE. 56 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,353 WHENEVER YOU GET THROUGH, JUST WAVE AT ME. 57 00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:17,441 I'LL BE OVER ON THE SIDE. 58 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,095 TAKE YOUR TIME. 59 00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:26,929 MISS? COULD YOU GIVE US A HAND, PLEASE. 60 00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:27,973 Woman: OKAY. 61 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,671 WE NEED A LITTLE HELP. 62 00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,760 WHAT A NICE DOG. 63 00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,544 WE NEED TO LIFT THIS UP 64 00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,720 AND TAKE IT OVER BY THE SAND, IF IT'S POSSIBLE. 65 00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,157 - WHAT IS THIS? - UH... 66 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:39,507 JUST A LITTLE -- JUST A LITTLE HELP. 67 00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:40,986 IT'S A LITTLE HEAVIER THAN WE EXPECTED. 68 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,423 WHAT A NICE DOG. I'LL HOLD ON TO IT. 69 00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:43,815 GOOD DOGGIE. 70 00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,469 - GOOD DOGGIE. - OKAY. 71 00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:46,818 WHAT IS THIS? 72 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,733 SOME GARBAGE, YOU KNOW, REALLY. 73 00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:51,127 THIS IS GOOD, DARLIN'.RIGHT HERE? 74 00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:53,085 THANK YOU. 75 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,262 KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, YOUNG LADY. 76 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:15,238 YOU KNOW, YOU MATCH THE DESCRIPTION OF A GUY 77 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,980 WHO'S BEEN SENDING LEWD PICTURES, 78 00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,373 SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO WRITE YOU UP. 79 00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:21,113 YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT? 80 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:22,898 JOKING? DO I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING? 81 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,248 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE EVIDENCE? 82 00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:26,293 YEAH. 83 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,598 ALL RIGHT. 84 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,602 YOU TELL ME THAT'S NOT YOU? 85 00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:32,995 NO. 86 00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:35,563 THAT BIG DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU? 87 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:36,738 NO. 88 00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,003 SO YOURS IS SMALLER? 89 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:43,397 ALL RIGHT. 90 00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:53,145 EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU HELP ME FOR ONE SECOND? 91 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,495 SURE, NO PROBLEM. 92 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,584 THIS DATING SERVICE THAT I HIRED 93 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:59,021 SENT ME THIS 25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE. 94 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:00,501 CAN YOU SEE HER? 95 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:01,806 I SURE CAN. 96 00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,895 DO YOU MIND DESCRIBING HER FOR ME? 97 00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,549 SHE'S BLONDE. 98 00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,638 YEAH, YEAH. AND IS SHE 25? 99 00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,814 SHE'S PROBABLY IN HER 60s. 100 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:10,989 HUH? 101 00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:12,382 SHE'S PROBABLY IN HER 60s. 102 00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,645 MICHAEL, COME, COME, COME, COME, COME. 103 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,081 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. - LET'S GO TO ANOTHER ONE DOWN THE BLOCK. 104 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,127 OH. 105 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,656 PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK ME, 106 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:28,920 "BETTY, HOW DO YOU BECOME A GREAT ACTRESS?" 107 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:31,358 SO I TELL THEM THE TRUTH. 108 00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:34,099 ACTING IS ALL ABOUT HONESTY. 109 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:38,103 IF YOU CAN FAKE THAT, YOU'VE GOT IT MADE. 110 00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,413 THERE YOU ARE. 111 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:46,068 I'M WITH THE INTERNET DELIVERY SERVICE. 112 00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:49,376 YOU REQUESTED HARD COPIES OF YOUR SPAM, SO HERE YOU GO. 113 00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:54,119 DIDN'T YOU EVER GET ON THAT SAID "NIGERIAN MONEY LAUNDERING"? 114 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,686 "HOT LOCAL SINGLES"? 115 00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,079 "LOOKING FOR RUSSIAN LADY"? 116 00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,689 THIS IS YOU, RIGHT? 117 00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:01,083 OKAY. WELL, THERE YOU GO. 118 00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:02,693 OKAY. 119 00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,260 I'LL HAVE ANOTHER BATCH FOR YOU IN THE MORNING. 120 00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:15,837 DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SEND A TEXT? 121 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,491 - MM-HMM. - IT WOULD HELP ME OUT, 122 00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,406 BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE MY GLASSES. 123 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:20,624 SURE. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? 124 00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,583 THIS IS GRANDPA. OKAY. 125 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:25,760 I JUST CAME BACK FROM THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE. 126 00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,239 GOT IT. GOT IT. 127 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:31,069 MY SKIN RASH IS... 128 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,723 MM-HMM. 129 00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,595 ...CONTAGIOUS. 130 00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,945 DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL "CONTAGIOUS"? 131 00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,250 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 132 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,556 I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH YOUR PHONE 133 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,036 IF YOUR SKIN RASH IS CONTAGIOUS. 134 00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:42,777 OH. WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 135 00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:45,867 YEAH, SURE. OH, OKAY. 136 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:52,003 RACHEL FROM GEORGIA WRITES, 137 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,570 "BETTY, IT SEEMS LIKE 138 00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:56,312 "YOU'RE THE HARDEST-WORKING WOMAN IN SHOWBIZ. 139 00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:58,749 WHAT DO YOU DO TO GET A LITTLE R&R?" 140 00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:03,885 WELL, RACHEL, I DO ALL SORTS OF THINGS TO REST AND RELAX -- 141 00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:08,846 SKYDIVING, TRIATHLONS, SPELUNKING 142 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:11,327 BUT WHEN I REALLY WANT TO RELAX, 143 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,417 I JUST PUT MY FEET UP AND DO HEADSTANDS 144 00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:17,681 UNTIL MY ARMS COLLAPSE. 145 00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:21,642 GOOD AFTERNOON. 146 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:22,860 WE'RE COLLECTING MONEY 147 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,645 FOR ST. BONO'S CATHOLIC CHURCH. 148 00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,037 WOULD YOU LIKE TO DONATE? 149 00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,517 UH, YEAH. 150 00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:29,867 YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT JUST COLLECTING MONEY. 151 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,391 WE'RE COLLECTING CATHOLICS. 152 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,958 OUR CONGREGATION HAS TO BE UP TO 100 153 00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,873 OR WE'RE GOING TO GET CLOSED. 154 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,876 SO, LET'S BAPTIZE YOU AS A CATHOLIC RIGHT NOW. 155 00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:40,400 FATHER? 156 00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,227 IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND THE SON 157 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,620 AND ALL THOSE OTHER GUYS, 158 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,796 YOU ARE NOW BOTH CATHOLICS. 159 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,843 AND REMEMBER, NO PROTECTION AND COME TO CONFESSION. 160 00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:51,976 HERE YOU ARE. 161 00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:53,978 - OH, THANK YOU, MY DEAR. - OH, GOD BLESS YOU. 162 00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,284 THANK YOU. 163 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:56,894 - THANK YOU. - THANK YOU. 164 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,921 EXCUSE ME. 165 00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,184 DO YOU KNOW TO GET TO PALMDALE FROM HERE? 166 00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:27,838 UH, YEAH. 167 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,449 YOU GO SOUTH -- 168 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:32,452 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 169 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:34,105 OKAY, YEAH, GO SOUTH. 170 00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,978 GO SOUTH ON THE 5, AND THEN YOU CONNECT WITH THE -- 171 00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:39,284 OH, WAIT. 172 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,026 I KEEP GETTING THESE TEXT MESSAGES. 173 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:45,726 OKAY. WAIT, OKAY. UM... 174 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,773 OKAY. OKAY. 175 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,819 - YOU WERE SAYING? - SOUTH ON THE 5, CONNECT -- 176 00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,255 SOUTH ON THE 5. 177 00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:54,604 SO HOW DO I GET TO THE 5 FROM THERE? 178 00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:55,997 IT'S RIGHT DOWN -- 179 00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,868 - THIS WAY? WOW. - THIS STREET RIGHT HERE. 180 00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:59,261 OKAY, OKAY. 181 00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:03,613 UM, OKAY, YEAH. WHAT? 182 00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,572 AND THEN YOU -- 183 00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,618 OH, MY GOD. 184 00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:11,186 MY BUDDY JUST SENT ME A FUNNY JOKE. 185 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:13,667 UM... 186 00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:15,146 WAIT, HOW DO I GET THERE? 187 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,713 I GO DOWN ON THE 5? 188 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:17,932 AND CONNECT WITH THE 14th. 189 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,107 WAIT, WAIT. 190 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,083 EXCUSE ME. YOU GUYS HAD THE COFFEE? 191 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,738 SOMEHOW, WE HAD A SITUATION 192 00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:44,436 WHERE SOME TOILET-BOWL CLEANER ENDED UP IN THE SYSTEM. 193 00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,569 DO YOU FEEL OKAY? YOU OKAY? 194 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:47,744 SO, ALL RIGHT. 195 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,572 WE'LL REPLACE IT, OKAY? 196 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,226 BUT IF YOU FEEL FINE... 197 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,881 ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. 198 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:54,882 HAVE A NICE DAY. 199 00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,678 HI. 200 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:11,420 I'M GRANDMA DENISE FROM GRANDMA-GRAM, 201 00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:14,815 AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE ARRANGED FOR YOU TO GET GRANDMA-GRAM! 202 00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:16,817 FIRST OF ALL, I WANT TO GIVE YOU 203 00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,949 YOUR FAVORITE HOMEMADE APPLE PIE. 204 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:22,431 AND I KNITTED YOU A SWEATER. 205 00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:25,129 I REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SO CUTE AND LITTLE, 206 00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:27,871 AND NOW YOU'VE JUST GROWN UP AND SO HANDSOME. 207 00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:30,308 YOU'RE JUST A WONDERFUL GRANDSON. 208 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,527 THANK YOU. 209 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,660 SO, DID YOU ENJOY THE GRANDMA EXPERIENCE? 210 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,009 YEAH, I GUESS. 211 00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:36,793 OH, GOOD, GOOD. 212 00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:40,362 UM, NO, I WANTED A TIP. 213 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,017 IT'S CUSTOMARY TO GIVE A TIP. 214 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,282 STINGY 215 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:56,204 HI, THERE. I WAS JUST TEACHING MY LITTLE PROTéGé 216 00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,727 ABOUT ETIQUETTE ON SET. 217 00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,642 HOW DO YOU ADDRESS THE DIRECTOR? 218 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,339 "GENIUS." 219 00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:03,603 AND WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR JOB? 220 00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,256 TO FIND THE LIGHT. 221 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,737 AND WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN THEY ASK HOW OLD YOU ARE? 222 00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,347 "UP YOURS." 223 00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:10,740 ATTAGIRL! 224 00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:18,182 I THINK THIS IS OUR AREA RIGHT HERE. 225 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:19,531 ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET IT. 226 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,751 IS THIS SOMEBODY'S BAG? OH, THANKS. 227 00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:23,753 OH, WHOA. 228 00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:26,147 TODAY'S MEETING IS JUST ABOUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT WE DID LAST WEEK 229 00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:27,627 AND WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO NEXT WEEK. 230 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,063 HOW ARE THE NUMBERS LOOKING? 231 00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:32,936 THE NUMBERS ARE 4-9-1-2, AND THAT CORRESPONDS 232 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,590 WITH THE ONES THAT YOU HAD FROM LAST WEEK, 233 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,157 WHICH IS 6-2-7. 234 00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,724 YOU KNOW, I LEFT MY PENCIL AT HOME. 235 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,900 DO YOU HAVE A PEN? 236 00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:41,945 WELL, THE NUMBERS ARE GONNA CHANGE EVERY MARKET. 237 00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:45,427 I DON'T WANT TO JUST SAY THE NUMBERS OUT LOUD. 238 00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,475 - WE HAPPENED TO BOOK THIS. - WE RESERVED THIS AREA. 239 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,042 YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T SEE THE SIGN. 240 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:56,003 I GUESS IT IS KIND AWKWARD, BUT... 241 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:10,104 PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS ABOUT ME, 242 00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:13,063 BUT I'M A BIG BELIEVER IN METHOD ACTING. 243 00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,979 I HAVE A NEW ROLE WITH A HOT NEW CO-STAR 244 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,938 THAT I NEED TO REHEARSE FOR, 245 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:21,289 SO I BROUGHT JUSTIN IN TO RUN LINES WITH ME. 246 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:22,986 GO AHEAD, DEAR. 247 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,901 I'VE FALLEN, AND I CAN'T GET UP. 248 00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,642 AND THEN WE KISS. 249 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,339 THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT. 250 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:33,431 DIDN'T I ALSO MENTION THAT I'M A DEVOTEE OF IMPROV? 251 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,658 EXCUSE ME. 252 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,486 HAVE YOU TRIED THESE BEFORE? 253 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,487 I HAVE NOT. 254 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,489 HAVE YOU TRIED THEM BEFORE? 255 00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,143 UH, YEAH. MY PARENTS USED TO BUY THE BAGS OF THOSE. 256 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,014 OKAY. WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE KIND OF EXPENSIVE. 257 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,887 YOU KNOW WHAT? LET GRANDMA TEACH YOU A TRICK. 258 00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,368 NOW THEY'RE HALF-OFF. 259 00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,726 THOSE ARE GORGEOUS BOOTS. 260 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,031 OH, THANK YOU. 261 00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:09,554 DO YOU GET GOOD SUPPORT FROM THEM? 262 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,861 THEY'RE KIND OF GOOD SUPPORT. 263 00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:13,167 BUT THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL. 264 00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,559 THANK YOU, YES. THEY ARE NICE. 265 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,996 BUT THEY'RE NOT THE MOST COMFORTABLE. 266 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:17,562 WELL, I'LL SHOW YOU MINE. 267 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,651 THESE DON'T SUPPORT MY BACK, EITHER. 268 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:20,783 I LOVE THOSE. 269 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:21,828 WONDERFUL. 270 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,307 THEY SUPPORT MY LIFESTYLE. 271 00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:24,221 DO YOU DANCE? 272 00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:25,701 YEAH. 273 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,224 THAT'S THE BEST. I STARTED TO DANCE, TOO. 274 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:28,791 IT'S AWESOME. 275 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,924 AWESOME. GOOD FOR YOU. 276 00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:38,627 EXCUSE ME, YOUNG MAN, 277 00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,325 CAN I ASK YOU A MAN QUESTION REAL QUICK? 278 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,762 EXCUSE ME. THIS IS MEN TALK. 279 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:43,980 HOW CAN I HELP YOU, SIR? 280 00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:45,503 IS SHE SINGLE? 281 00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,288 IS SHE WHAT? IS SHE SINGLE? 282 00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:48,724 NO, SHE'S MY FIANCéE. 283 00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:49,420 YOUR FIANCéE? YES, SIR. 284 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,031 YOU'RE KIDDING ME. 285 00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:51,683 YOU LOOK LIKE BROTHER AND SISTER. 286 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,294 NO, NO, SHE'S MY FIANCéE. 287 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,861 WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, IT'S WORKING. 288 00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:55,949 - THANK YOU. - OKAY? 289 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:56,993 COME ON, BABY. 290 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,995 PLAY ON, PLAYER. 291 00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:04,218 CAN I ASK YOU A MAN QUESTION? IS SHE SINGLE? 292 00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:05,262 WHO? 293 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,395 - HER. SHE SINGLE? - SHE'S A LESBIAN. 294 00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:08,483 NO. 295 00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:14,619 HI. HI. 296 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,535 TODAY IS OUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. 297 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:18,710 CONGRATULATIONS. 298 00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:19,973 THANK YOU. 299 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:21,322 50 YEARS. 300 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:22,932 - WOW. - WE'RE STILL HAPPY. 301 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,499 THAT'S AWESOME. 302 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,718 YOU KNOW WHAT OUR SECRET TO A LONG MARRIAGE IS? 303 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:27,632 WHAT? WHAT? 304 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:28,982 LISTENING TO EACH OTHER. 305 00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:30,766 BEING THERE FOR EACH OTHER. 306 00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:33,595 OH, WAIT, WAIT. 307 00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:34,901 YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT TO TAKE THIS, OKAY? 308 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,554 I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW, HONEY. 309 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:40,080 WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE A COUPLE OF LOVEBIRDS. 310 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,559 YEAH. 311 00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,126 YOU KNOW, PART OF KEEPING THAT SPARK ALIVE 312 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,084 IS HOOKING UP WITH OTHER PEOPLE. 313 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,912 VARIETY'S THE SPICE OF LIFE. 314 00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:48,392 WHAT DO YOU SAY? NO? 315 00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:52,179 WHAT ABOUT...YOU KNOW, ALL OF US HOOKING UP? 316 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,573 IS THAT A "NO"? 317 00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:57,053 OKAY, WELL, IT WAS WORTH A SHOT. 318 00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,535 - WHAT HAPPENED? - THEY'RE A NO-GO, HONEY. 319 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,364 OH. THAT'S OKAY. WE'LL FIND SOMEBODY ELSE. OKAY? 320 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,726 YOU WORK OUT A LOT, I CAN TELL. 321 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:18,422 HOW MUCH DO YOU BENCH? 322 00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:19,815 250. 323 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,077 YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT, 324 00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,210 BUT I BENCH BETWEEN 250 AND 300. 325 00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:24,602 I BENCH EVERY DAY. 326 00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:27,431 I DEFINITELY HAVE SAT ON 300 BENCHES. 327 00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:28,998 IN FACT, I THINK -- YOU KNOW WHAT? 328 00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:30,304 I'M GONNA GO BENCH RIGHT NOW. 329 00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:31,783 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 330 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,568 SEE YOU LATER, BRO. 331 00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,618 EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN. COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 332 00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,490 I'M CHECKING OUT THIS TABLE, 333 00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:44,405 AND I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP ME. 334 00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:45,623 COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND TAKE THESE 335 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:47,669 AND JUST PLACE THEM ON THE END OF THE TABLE, 336 00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,410 KIND OF MAKE A TRIANGLE WITH THEM? 337 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,238 I WANT TO MAKE SURE IT'S THE PERFECT TABLE FOR ME, 338 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,109 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 339 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,459 YEAH, JUST KIND OF A TRIANGLE, RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE. 340 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:56,504 YEAH. 341 00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,421 OH, WAIT, THAT IS NOT REGULATION. 342 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,902 I'LL BE DRINKING BEER ALL NIGHT. 343 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:06,079 I CAN'T USE THIS. 344 00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:19,222 EXCUSE ME. HI. 345 00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,616 I'VE BEEN HAVING A ROUGH DAY TODAY. 346 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,575 DO YOU KNOW WERE I CAN SCORE SOME WEED? 347 00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,708 YOU DON'T KNOW ANYONE? I'M NOT -- 348 00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:29,058 YOU KNOW, I'M NOT THE COPS OR ANYTHING. 349 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,538 I'M NOT A NARC. 350 00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,409 I'M NOT A NARC. 351 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:36,283 I BET YOU HAVE SOME ON YOU. 352 00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,198 I'M REALLY HAVING A BAD TIME. 353 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,983 I'LL JUST GIVE YOU SOME FOR FREE. 354 00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,724 - OH, YOU WOULD? - YEAH. 355 00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:44,117 OH, MY GOD. 356 00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,423 BLESS YOU. OH, THANK YOU. 357 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:47,685 YOU GOT TO WALK WITH ME. 358 00:15:58,566 --> 00:15:59,480 HI. HI. 359 00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:00,872 - HOW YOU DOING? - GOOD. 360 00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,700 I BOUGHT THESE -- THESE X-RAY GLASSES. 361 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:05,573 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SEE PEOPLE WITH JUST THEIR UNDERWEAR. 362 00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,140 WHAT? 363 00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:08,706 - I WANT A PAIR. - GIVE THEM TO HIM. 364 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,795 - WHERE DO I LOOK? - LOOK THIS WAY. 365 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:11,927 YOU SEE ANYTHING? 366 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,320 OH. 367 00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:14,799 - SO THEY DO WORK. - OH, THEY MUST. 368 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,888 - OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL. - HOLY GUACAMOLE. 369 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,368 WHERE DO I GET A PAIR? 370 00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:20,196 I CAN SELL YOU THESE FOR $10. 371 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,982 GOT TO GIVE ME A $10 BILL. I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU. 372 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:23,895 I GOT TO GO. TAKE CARE. 373 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,207 MISS, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? 374 00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:35,342 THIS IN AN AWKWARD QUESTION, BUT I HAD A BREAST SURGERY. 375 00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:37,561 AND I'M WONDERING, DO THEY LOOK... 376 00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:39,302 EVEN? ...CROOKED? 377 00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:40,782 NOT GONNA LIE. THEY LOOK -- THEY LOOK PRETTY EVEN. 378 00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,175 REALLY? YEAH. 379 00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,828 I HAVE THIS DATE WITH JESUS LATER. 380 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,308 I WANT TO LOOK WONDERFUL. 381 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:46,657 OH, DUDE, THAT'S UP, 382 00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,398 'CAUSE I HAVE A DATE WITH JESUS, TOO. 383 00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:49,660 - OH, MY GOD! - ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 384 00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:51,010 FANTASTIC. 385 00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:52,576 THAT'S REALLY AWKWARD. 386 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,622 - MAYBE I'LL MEET YOU THERE. - ARE YOU GONNA SEE THERE? 387 00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,189 IS THIS LIKE A TRIPLE-DATE THING? 388 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:57,712 I THINK SO. ALL RIGHT, COOL. 389 00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,061 I'LL SEE YOU THERE. ALL RIGHT, BYE. 390 00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,454 BYE. 391 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,767 WHAT IS TODAY'S DATE? 392 00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:11,900 THE 23rd. 393 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,771 AND THE YEAR IS? 394 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:16,600 2014. 395 00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,689 HAVE YOU SEEN SARAH CONNOR? 396 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,648 SARAH CONNOR? 397 00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,606 SARAH CONNOR. 398 00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:24,652 IF YOU SEE HER, TELL HER I AM LOOKING FOR HER. 399 00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,045 AND YOU ARE? 400 00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:27,655 I'LL BE BACK. 401 00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:43,453 EXCUSE ME. 402 00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,455 COULD YOU HELP ME FOR A SECOND? 403 00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:49,503 NO, COULD YOU PLUG MY PHONE IN FOR ME? 404 00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:53,072 UM, I DON'T KNOW IF THERE'S A PLUG NEARBY. 405 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:58,251 OH, NO. I'M JUST HANGING OUT HERE AT THE BEACH. 406 00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:03,647 OH, ARE YOU SURE? 407 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:04,909 OKAY. 408 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,520 THANK YOU. 409 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,052 EXCUSE ME. COULD I ASK YOUR OPINION? 410 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:18,706 I'M HAVING A HECK OF A TIME. 411 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,229 I HAVE A DATE WITH A GUY. 412 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,536 HE'S SLIGHTLY YOUNGER THAN ME. 413 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,233 AND I WANT YOU TO BE HONEST WITH ME, OKAY? 414 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,844 HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I LOOK? 415 00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:29,369 I'M GONNA GO 65? 416 00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,414 WAIT THERE, OKAY? ALL RIGHT. 417 00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,416 NOW HOW OLD DO I LOOK? 418 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,592 I GUESS IT TAKES FIVE YEARS OFF. 419 00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,420 GOOD. DON'T -- WE'RE GETTING THERE. 420 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:39,248 WE'RE GETTING THERE. ALL RIGHT. 421 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,425 HOW ABOUT NOW? 422 00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:44,210 DO I LOOK 35? 423 00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,472 GETTING THERE. 424 00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,822 WE'RE GETTING THERE? FANTASTIC. 425 00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:50,477 BUT HOW AM I GONNA HAVE SEX FROM THIS DISTANCE? 426 00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,174 THAT'S MY ONLY CONCERN. 427 00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:53,610 YEAH, THAT'S A PROBLEM. 428 00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,264 NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. 429 00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:56,787 YEAH, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 430 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,354 THANKS. 431 00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,835 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 432 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:07,189 EXCUSE ME. HAVE YOU SEEN A RED SCOOTER? 433 00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:08,712 NO. NO, SORRY. 434 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,714 IF YOU SEE IT, I'LL BE AROUND HERE, OKAY? 435 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:12,325 THANKS. 436 00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,644 OH. 437 00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:29,646 OH. 438 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,344 OH. OH. 439 00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:35,086 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO IT? GET OFF OF MY SCOOTER, MAN. 440 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,437 COME BACK HERE! 441 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:43,051 Announcer: AND NOW "BETTY WHITE'S PEARLS OF WISDOM." 442 00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:46,968 WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND A DRIVER CUTS YOU OFF, 443 00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:50,885 IT'S VERY EASY TO FIND YOURSELF IN THE THROES OF ROAD RAGE. 444 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,061 BUT HERE'S A LITTLE TIP I USE 445 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:55,890 TO GET RID OF THAT FURY IN A HURRY. 446 00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:57,848 JUST PICTURE THE DRIVER NAKED. 447 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,592 AND THAT'S PROBABLY WHY I DON'T DRIVE ANYMORE -- 448 00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,507 TOO MANY DISTRACTIONS. 449 00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:08,555 BUT, HEY, IF YOU DON'T DRIVE, YOU CAN NEVER GET ROAD RAGE. 450 00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:10,861 MM, MM. 451 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,082 IS SHE 25? 452 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,693 SHE'S PROBABLY IN HER 60s. 453 00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:19,392 SO YOURS IS SMALLER? 454 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,485 YOU WANT TO GO HAVE A DRINK? 455 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,531 I'LL BE BACK. 456 00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:33,884 GET OFF OF MY SCOOTER, MAN. 457 00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:38,628 COULD I ASK YOU A MAN QUESTION? 458 00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,674 IS SHE SINGLE? NO. 30924

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