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1
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:12,925
EXCUSE ME.
2
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,884
I WAS SUPPOSED
TO GO TO WORK TODAY,
3
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,930
AND I JUST KIND OF BLEW IT OFF
'CAUSE I WANTED TO GO SHOPPING.
4
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,802
AND I SAW MY BOSS
GETTING OFF THE TRAIN,
5
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,282
AND I TOLD HIM I WAS MEETING
MY BOYFRIEND FROM OUT OF TOWN.
6
00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:22,718
Man: HELEN?
7
00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:23,675
JUST PRETEND LIKE YOU KNOW ME,
OKAY?
8
00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:24,807
HELEN.
9
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,287
FANCY MEETING YOU HERE.
10
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:27,331
I KNOW.
11
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,811
IS THIS THE YOUNG MAN?
12
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,682
Y-YES.
WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR A WHILE.
13
00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:31,988
A WHILE.
14
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,121
PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
YEAH, YEAH.
15
00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,557
YOU'RE SOMETHING ELSE.
16
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,167
AND HE IS
REALLY GOOD IN BED.
17
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:39,300
SHE'S A YOUNG,
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
18
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:40,997
THIS IS A REALLY SPECIAL THING,
OKAY?
19
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,085
HE'S SO SWEET.
20
00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:43,304
Okay.
21
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,870
SO, UH, ARE YOU BUSY?
22
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,263
NO, MA'AM.
23
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:49,353
OH, OKAY.
YOU WANT TO GO HAVE A DRINK?
24
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,225
AS A FRIENDLY DRINK?
WELL, NO.
25
00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:52,965
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT COULD LEAD
TO A LITTLE BIT MORE.
26
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,358
OH, NO, MA'AM.
27
00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,665
YOU SURE?
28
00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,841
I LIKE 'EM YOUNG.
29
00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:00,669
JUST A DRINK?
AT MY PLACE.
30
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,106
YEAH, MY PLACE.
31
00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:10,679
HI.
32
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,898
GOOD, GOOD, GOOD,
GOOD, GOOD.
33
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,336
COMPLIMENTS
OF THAT LOVELY WOMAN.
34
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,381
BRIEFS, BOXERS,
OR COMMANDO?
35
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,215
AS YOU GET OLDER,
36
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:27,478
ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS TO GO
IS YOUR HEARING.
37
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,915
BETTY, CAN YOU GIVE ME A RIDE
TO THE AIRPORT NEXT WEEK?
38
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,136
BETTY?
39
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,052
ACTUALLY, HEARING IS
THE SECOND THING TO GO.
40
00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:37,662
THE FIRST THING TO GO
41
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:40,361
IS GIVING YOUR FRIENDS
A LIFT TO THE AIRPORT.
42
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:45,931
EXCUSE ME, FOLKS.
43
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,629
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU,
44
00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,196
BUT WE'RE HAVING A PROBLEM
45
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,633
WITH PEOPLE USING CELLPHONES
IN THE MALL,
46
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:54,288
AND IT'S DISRUPTING
OUR SIGNALS FOR SECURITY.
47
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,898
SO JUST LIKE
SOME OF THESE OTHER FOLKS --
48
00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:57,465
YOU CAN SEE THIS YOUNG LADY
RIGHT HERE --
49
00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,249
I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU
50
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:02,296
TO USE THE PERSONALIZED
PHONE BOOTHS THAT WE SUPPLY.
51
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,515
AND YOU CAN CONTINUE
YOUR CALL.
52
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,300
OH.
53
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:09,825
NOW, I GOT TO TELL YOU
THAT IT'LL BE 25 CENTS A MINUTE,
54
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:12,567
JUST LIKE IN THE OLD DAYS.
55
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,525
YEAH, 25 CENTS A MINUTE.
56
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,353
WHENEVER YOU GET THROUGH,
JUST WAVE AT ME.
57
00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:17,441
I'LL BE OVER ON THE SIDE.
58
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,095
TAKE YOUR TIME.
59
00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:26,929
MISS? COULD YOU GIVE US
A HAND, PLEASE.
60
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:27,973
Woman: OKAY.
61
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,671
WE NEED A LITTLE HELP.
62
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,760
WHAT A NICE DOG.
63
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,544
WE NEED TO LIFT THIS UP
64
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,720
AND TAKE IT OVER BY THE SAND,
IF IT'S POSSIBLE.
65
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,157
- WHAT IS THIS?
- UH...
66
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:39,507
JUST A LITTLE --
JUST A LITTLE HELP.
67
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:40,986
IT'S A LITTLE HEAVIER
THAN WE EXPECTED.
68
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,423
WHAT A NICE DOG.
I'LL HOLD ON TO IT.
69
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:43,815
GOOD DOGGIE.
70
00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,469
- GOOD DOGGIE.
- OKAY.
71
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:46,818
WHAT IS THIS?
72
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,733
SOME GARBAGE,
YOU KNOW, REALLY.
73
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:51,127
THIS IS GOOD, DARLIN'.RIGHT HERE?
74
00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:53,085
THANK YOU.
75
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,262
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF,
YOUNG LADY.
76
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:15,238
YOU KNOW, YOU MATCH
THE DESCRIPTION OF A GUY
77
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,980
WHO'S BEEN SENDING
LEWD PICTURES,
78
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,373
SO I'M GONNA
HAVE TO WRITE YOU UP.
79
00:03:19,547 --> 00:03:21,113
YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?
80
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:22,898
JOKING?
DO I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING?
81
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,248
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE
THE EVIDENCE?
82
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:26,293
YEAH.
83
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,598
ALL RIGHT.
84
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,602
YOU TELL ME
THAT'S NOT YOU?
85
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:32,995
NO.
86
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:35,563
THAT BIG
DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU?
87
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:36,738
NO.
88
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,003
SO YOURS IS SMALLER?
89
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:43,397
ALL RIGHT.
90
00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:53,145
EXCUSE ME.
CAN YOU HELP ME FOR ONE SECOND?
91
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,495
SURE, NO PROBLEM.
92
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,584
THIS DATING SERVICE
THAT I HIRED
93
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:59,021
SENT ME
THIS 25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE.
94
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:00,501
CAN YOU SEE HER?
95
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:01,806
I SURE CAN.
96
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,895
DO YOU MIND DESCRIBING HER
FOR ME?
97
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,549
SHE'S BLONDE.
98
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,638
YEAH, YEAH.
AND IS SHE 25?
99
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,814
SHE'S PROBABLY IN HER 60s.
100
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:10,989
HUH?
101
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:12,382
SHE'S PROBABLY IN HER 60s.
102
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,645
MICHAEL, COME, COME,
COME, COME, COME.
103
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,081
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
- LET'S GO
TO ANOTHER ONE DOWN THE BLOCK.
104
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,127
OH.
105
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,656
PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK ME,
106
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:28,920
"BETTY, HOW DO YOU BECOME
A GREAT ACTRESS?"
107
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:31,358
SO I TELL THEM THE TRUTH.
108
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:34,099
ACTING IS ALL ABOUT HONESTY.
109
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:38,103
IF YOU CAN FAKE THAT,
YOU'VE GOT IT MADE.
110
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,413
THERE YOU ARE.
111
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:46,068
I'M WITH THE INTERNET
DELIVERY SERVICE.
112
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:49,376
YOU REQUESTED HARD COPIES
OF YOUR SPAM, SO HERE YOU GO.
113
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:54,119
DIDN'T YOU EVER GET ON THAT SAID
"NIGERIAN MONEY LAUNDERING"?
114
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,686
"HOT LOCAL SINGLES"?
115
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,079
"LOOKING FOR RUSSIAN LADY"?
116
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:58,689
THIS IS YOU, RIGHT?
117
00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:01,083
OKAY.
WELL, THERE YOU GO.
118
00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:02,693
OKAY.
119
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,260
I'LL HAVE ANOTHER BATCH FOR YOU
IN THE MORNING.
120
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:15,837
DO YOU KNOW
HOW TO SEND A TEXT?
121
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,491
- MM-HMM.
- IT WOULD HELP ME OUT,
122
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,406
BECAUSE
I DON'T HAVE MY GLASSES.
123
00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:20,624
SURE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?
124
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,583
THIS IS GRANDPA.
OKAY.
125
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:25,760
I JUST CAME BACK
FROM THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
126
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,239
GOT IT.
GOT IT.
127
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:31,069
MY SKIN RASH IS...
128
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,723
MM-HMM.
129
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,595
...CONTAGIOUS.
130
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,945
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL "CONTAGIOUS"?
131
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,250
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
132
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,556
I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH
YOUR PHONE
133
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,036
IF YOUR SKIN RASH
IS CONTAGIOUS.
134
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:42,777
OH.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
135
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:45,867
YEAH, SURE.
OH, OKAY.
136
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:52,003
RACHEL FROM GEORGIA WRITES,
137
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,570
"BETTY, IT SEEMS LIKE
138
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:56,312
"YOU'RE THE HARDEST-WORKING
WOMAN IN SHOWBIZ.
139
00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:58,749
WHAT DO YOU DO
TO GET A LITTLE R&R?"
140
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:03,885
WELL, RACHEL, I DO ALL SORTS
OF THINGS TO REST AND RELAX --
141
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:08,846
SKYDIVING, TRIATHLONS,
SPELUNKING
142
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:11,327
BUT WHEN I REALLY WANT TO RELAX,
143
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,417
I JUST PUT MY FEET UP
AND DO HEADSTANDS
144
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:17,681
UNTIL MY ARMS COLLAPSE.
145
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:21,642
GOOD AFTERNOON.
146
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:22,860
WE'RE COLLECTING MONEY
147
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,645
FOR ST. BONO'S
CATHOLIC CHURCH.
148
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,037
WOULD YOU LIKE TO DONATE?
149
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,517
UH, YEAH.
150
00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:29,867
YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT JUST
COLLECTING MONEY.
151
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,391
WE'RE COLLECTING CATHOLICS.
152
00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,958
OUR CONGREGATION
HAS TO BE UP TO 100
153
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,873
OR WE'RE GOING TO GET CLOSED.
154
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,876
SO, LET'S BAPTIZE YOU
AS A CATHOLIC RIGHT NOW.
155
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:40,400
FATHER?
156
00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,227
IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER
AND THE SON
157
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,620
AND ALL THOSE OTHER GUYS,
158
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,796
YOU ARE NOW
BOTH CATHOLICS.
159
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,843
AND REMEMBER, NO PROTECTION
AND COME TO CONFESSION.
160
00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:51,976
HERE YOU ARE.
161
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:53,978
- OH, THANK YOU, MY DEAR.
- OH, GOD BLESS YOU.
162
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,284
THANK YOU.
163
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:56,894
- THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU.
164
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,921
EXCUSE ME.
165
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,184
DO YOU KNOW TO GET TO PALMDALE
FROM HERE?
166
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:27,838
UH, YEAH.
167
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,449
YOU GO SOUTH --
168
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:32,452
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
169
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:34,105
OKAY, YEAH, GO SOUTH.
170
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,978
GO SOUTH ON THE 5,
AND THEN YOU CONNECT WITH THE --
171
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:39,284
OH, WAIT.
172
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,026
I KEEP GETTING
THESE TEXT MESSAGES.
173
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:45,726
OKAY.
WAIT, OKAY. UM...
174
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,773
OKAY. OKAY.
175
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,819
- YOU WERE SAYING?
- SOUTH ON THE 5, CONNECT --
176
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,255
SOUTH ON THE 5.
177
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:54,604
SO HOW DO I GET TO THE 5
FROM THERE?
178
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:55,997
IT'S RIGHT DOWN --
179
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,868
- THIS WAY? WOW.
- THIS STREET RIGHT HERE.
180
00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:59,261
OKAY, OKAY.
181
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:03,613
UM, OKAY, YEAH. WHAT?
182
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,572
AND THEN YOU --
183
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,618
OH, MY GOD.
184
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:11,186
MY BUDDY JUST SENT ME
A FUNNY JOKE.
185
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:13,667
UM...
186
00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:15,146
WAIT,
HOW DO I GET THERE?
187
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,713
I GO DOWN ON THE 5?
188
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:17,932
AND CONNECT WITH THE 14th.
189
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,107
WAIT, WAIT.
190
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,083
EXCUSE ME.
YOU GUYS HAD THE COFFEE?
191
00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,738
SOMEHOW,
WE HAD A SITUATION
192
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:44,436
WHERE SOME TOILET-BOWL CLEANER
ENDED UP IN THE SYSTEM.
193
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,569
DO YOU FEEL OKAY?
YOU OKAY?
194
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:47,744
SO, ALL RIGHT.
195
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,572
WE'LL REPLACE IT, OKAY?
196
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,226
BUT IF YOU FEEL FINE...
197
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,881
ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
198
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:54,882
HAVE A NICE DAY.
199
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,678
HI.
200
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:11,420
I'M GRANDMA DENISE
FROM GRANDMA-GRAM,
201
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:14,815
AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE ARRANGED
FOR YOU TO GET GRANDMA-GRAM!
202
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:16,817
FIRST OF ALL,
I WANT TO GIVE YOU
203
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,949
YOUR FAVORITE
HOMEMADE APPLE PIE.
204
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:22,431
AND I KNITTED YOU
A SWEATER.
205
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:25,129
I REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE
SO CUTE AND LITTLE,
206
00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:27,871
AND NOW YOU'VE JUST GROWN UP
AND SO HANDSOME.
207
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:30,308
YOU'RE JUST
A WONDERFUL GRANDSON.
208
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:31,527
THANK YOU.
209
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,660
SO, DID YOU ENJOY
THE GRANDMA EXPERIENCE?
210
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,009
YEAH, I GUESS.
211
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:36,793
OH, GOOD, GOOD.
212
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:40,362
UM, NO, I WANTED A TIP.
213
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,017
IT'S CUSTOMARY
TO GIVE A TIP.
214
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,282
STINGY
215
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:56,204
HI, THERE. I WAS JUST TEACHING
MY LITTLE PROTéGé
216
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,727
ABOUT ETIQUETTE ON SET.
217
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,642
HOW DO YOU ADDRESS
THE DIRECTOR?
218
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,339
"GENIUS."
219
00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:03,603
AND WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT
PART OF YOUR JOB?
220
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,256
TO FIND THE LIGHT.
221
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,737
AND WHAT DO YOU SAY
WHEN THEY ASK HOW OLD YOU ARE?
222
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,347
"UP YOURS."
223
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:10,740
ATTAGIRL!
224
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:18,182
I THINK THIS IS
OUR AREA RIGHT HERE.
225
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:19,531
ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET IT.
226
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,751
IS THIS SOMEBODY'S BAG?
OH, THANKS.
227
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:23,753
OH, WHOA.
228
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:26,147
TODAY'S MEETING IS JUST ABOUT,
YOU KNOW, WHAT WE DID LAST WEEK
229
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:27,627
AND WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO
NEXT WEEK.
230
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,063
HOW ARE
THE NUMBERS LOOKING?
231
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:32,936
THE NUMBERS ARE 4-9-1-2,
AND THAT CORRESPONDS
232
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,590
WITH THE ONES THAT YOU HAD
FROM LAST WEEK,
233
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,157
WHICH IS 6-2-7.
234
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,724
YOU KNOW,
I LEFT MY PENCIL AT HOME.
235
00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,900
DO YOU HAVE A PEN?
236
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:41,945
WELL, THE NUMBERS ARE GONNA
CHANGE EVERY MARKET.
237
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:45,427
I DON'T WANT TO JUST SAY
THE NUMBERS OUT LOUD.
238
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,475
- WE HAPPENED TO BOOK THIS.
- WE RESERVED THIS AREA.
239
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,042
YOU PROBABLY
DIDN'T SEE THE SIGN.
240
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:56,003
I GUESS IT IS
KIND AWKWARD, BUT...
241
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:10,104
PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS ABOUT ME,
242
00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:13,063
BUT I'M A BIG BELIEVER
IN METHOD ACTING.
243
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,979
I HAVE A NEW ROLE
WITH A HOT NEW CO-STAR
244
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,938
THAT I NEED TO REHEARSE FOR,
245
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:21,289
SO I BROUGHT JUSTIN IN
TO RUN LINES WITH ME.
246
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:22,986
GO AHEAD, DEAR.
247
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,901
I'VE FALLEN,
AND I CAN'T GET UP.
248
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,642
AND THEN WE KISS.
249
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,339
THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT.
250
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:33,431
DIDN'T I ALSO MENTION
THAT I'M A DEVOTEE OF IMPROV?
251
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,658
EXCUSE ME.
252
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,486
HAVE YOU TRIED THESE
BEFORE?
253
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,487
I HAVE NOT.
254
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,489
HAVE YOU TRIED THEM
BEFORE?
255
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,143
UH, YEAH. MY PARENTS USED TO
BUY THE BAGS OF THOSE.
256
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,014
OKAY. WELL, YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE KIND OF EXPENSIVE.
257
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,887
YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET GRANDMA TEACH YOU A TRICK.
258
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,368
NOW THEY'RE HALF-OFF.
259
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,726
THOSE ARE GORGEOUS BOOTS.
260
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,031
OH, THANK YOU.
261
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:09,554
DO YOU GET GOOD SUPPORT
FROM THEM?
262
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,861
THEY'RE KIND
OF GOOD SUPPORT.
263
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:13,167
BUT THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL.
264
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,559
THANK YOU, YES.
THEY ARE NICE.
265
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,996
BUT THEY'RE NOT
THE MOST COMFORTABLE.
266
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:17,562
WELL,
I'LL SHOW YOU MINE.
267
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,651
THESE DON'T SUPPORT
MY BACK, EITHER.
268
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:20,783
I LOVE THOSE.
269
00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:21,828
WONDERFUL.
270
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,307
THEY SUPPORT
MY LIFESTYLE.
271
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:24,221
DO YOU DANCE?
272
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:25,701
YEAH.
273
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,224
THAT'S THE BEST.
I STARTED TO DANCE, TOO.
274
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:28,791
IT'S AWESOME.
275
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,924
AWESOME.
GOOD FOR YOU.
276
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:38,627
EXCUSE ME, YOUNG MAN,
277
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,325
CAN I ASK YOU A MAN QUESTION
REAL QUICK?
278
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,762
EXCUSE ME.
THIS IS MEN TALK.
279
00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:43,980
HOW CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?
280
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:45,503
IS SHE SINGLE?
281
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,288
IS SHE WHAT?
IS SHE SINGLE?
282
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:48,724
NO, SHE'S MY FIANCéE.
283
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:49,420
YOUR FIANCéE?
YES, SIR.
284
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,031
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
285
00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:51,683
YOU LOOK LIKE
BROTHER AND SISTER.
286
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,294
NO, NO, SHE'S MY FIANCéE.
287
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:54,861
WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING,
IT'S WORKING.
288
00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:55,949
- THANK YOU.
- OKAY?
289
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:56,993
COME ON, BABY.
290
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,995
PLAY ON, PLAYER.
291
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:04,218
CAN I ASK YOU A MAN QUESTION?
IS SHE SINGLE?
292
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:05,262
WHO?
293
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,395
- HER. SHE SINGLE?
- SHE'S A LESBIAN.
294
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:08,483
NO.
295
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:14,619
HI.
HI.
296
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,535
TODAY IS OUR WEDDING
ANNIVERSARY.
297
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:18,710
CONGRATULATIONS.
298
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:19,973
THANK YOU.
299
00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:21,322
50 YEARS.
300
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:22,932
- WOW.
- WE'RE STILL HAPPY.
301
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,499
THAT'S AWESOME.
302
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,718
YOU KNOW WHAT OUR SECRET
TO A LONG MARRIAGE IS?
303
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:27,632
WHAT?
WHAT?
304
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:28,982
LISTENING
TO EACH OTHER.
305
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:30,766
BEING THERE
FOR EACH OTHER.
306
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:33,595
OH, WAIT, WAIT.
307
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:34,901
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I GOT TO TAKE THIS, OKAY?
308
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,554
I KNOW. I KNOW.
I KNOW, HONEY.
309
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:40,080
WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE
A COUPLE OF LOVEBIRDS.
310
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,559
YEAH.
311
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,126
YOU KNOW, PART OF KEEPING
THAT SPARK ALIVE
312
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,084
IS HOOKING UP
WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
313
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,912
VARIETY'S
THE SPICE OF LIFE.
314
00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:48,392
WHAT DO YOU SAY? NO?
315
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:52,179
WHAT ABOUT...YOU KNOW,
ALL OF US HOOKING UP?
316
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,573
IS THAT A "NO"?
317
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:57,053
OKAY, WELL,
IT WAS WORTH A SHOT.
318
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,535
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- THEY'RE A NO-GO, HONEY.
319
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,364
OH. THAT'S OKAY.
WE'LL FIND SOMEBODY ELSE. OKAY?
320
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,726
YOU WORK OUT A LOT,
I CAN TELL.
321
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:18,422
HOW MUCH DO YOU BENCH?
322
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:19,815
250.
323
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:21,077
YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT,
324
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,210
BUT I BENCH
BETWEEN 250 AND 300.
325
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:24,602
I BENCH EVERY DAY.
326
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:27,431
I DEFINITELY HAVE SAT
ON 300 BENCHES.
327
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:28,998
IN FACT, I THINK --
YOU KNOW WHAT?
328
00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:30,304
I'M GONNA GO BENCH RIGHT NOW.
329
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:31,783
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
330
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,568
SEE YOU LATER, BRO.
331
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,618
EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN.
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
332
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,490
I'M CHECKING OUT THIS TABLE,
333
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:44,405
AND I WAS JUST WONDERING
IF YOU COULD HELP ME.
334
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:45,623
COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR
AND TAKE THESE
335
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:47,669
AND JUST PLACE THEM
ON THE END OF THE TABLE,
336
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,410
KIND OF MAKE A TRIANGLE
WITH THEM?
337
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,238
I WANT TO MAKE SURE
IT'S THE PERFECT TABLE FOR ME,
338
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,109
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
339
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,459
YEAH, JUST KIND OF A TRIANGLE,
RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE.
340
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:56,504
YEAH.
341
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,421
OH, WAIT,
THAT IS NOT REGULATION.
342
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,902
I'LL BE DRINKING BEER
ALL NIGHT.
343
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:06,079
I CAN'T USE THIS.
344
00:15:17,481 --> 00:15:19,222
EXCUSE ME. HI.
345
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,616
I'VE BEEN HAVING
A ROUGH DAY TODAY.
346
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,575
DO YOU KNOW WERE
I CAN SCORE SOME WEED?
347
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,708
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYONE?
I'M NOT --
348
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:29,058
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT THE COPS
OR ANYTHING.
349
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,538
I'M NOT A NARC.
350
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,409
I'M NOT A NARC.
351
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:36,283
I BET YOU HAVE SOME ON YOU.
352
00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,198
I'M REALLY HAVING
A BAD TIME.
353
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,983
I'LL JUST GIVE YOU SOME
FOR FREE.
354
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,724
- OH, YOU WOULD?
- YEAH.
355
00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:44,117
OH, MY GOD.
356
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,423
BLESS YOU.
OH, THANK YOU.
357
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:47,685
YOU GOT TO WALK WITH ME.
358
00:15:58,566 --> 00:15:59,480
HI.
HI.
359
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:00,872
- HOW YOU DOING?
- GOOD.
360
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,700
I BOUGHT THESE --
THESE X-RAY GLASSES.
361
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:05,573
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SEE PEOPLE
WITH JUST THEIR UNDERWEAR.
362
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,140
WHAT?
363
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:08,706
- I WANT A PAIR.
- GIVE THEM TO HIM.
364
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,795
- WHERE DO I LOOK?
- LOOK THIS WAY.
365
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:11,927
YOU SEE ANYTHING?
366
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,320
OH.
367
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:14,799
- SO THEY DO WORK.
- OH, THEY MUST.
368
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,888
- OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
- HOLY GUACAMOLE.
369
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,368
WHERE DO I GET A PAIR?
370
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:20,196
I CAN SELL YOU THESE
FOR $10.
371
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,982
GOT TO GIVE ME A $10 BILL.
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.
372
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:23,895
I GOT TO GO.
TAKE CARE.
373
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:31,207
MISS,
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
374
00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:35,342
THIS IN AN AWKWARD QUESTION,
BUT I HAD A BREAST SURGERY.
375
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:37,561
AND I'M WONDERING,
DO THEY LOOK...
376
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:39,302
EVEN?
...CROOKED?
377
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:40,782
NOT GONNA LIE. THEY LOOK --
THEY LOOK PRETTY EVEN.
378
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,175
REALLY?
YEAH.
379
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,828
I HAVE THIS DATE
WITH JESUS LATER.
380
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,308
I WANT TO LOOK WONDERFUL.
381
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:46,657
OH, DUDE,
THAT'S UP,
382
00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,398
'CAUSE I HAVE A DATE
WITH JESUS, TOO.
383
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:49,660
- OH, MY GOD!
- ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
384
00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:51,010
FANTASTIC.
385
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:52,576
THAT'S REALLY AWKWARD.
386
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,622
- MAYBE I'LL MEET YOU THERE.
- ARE YOU GONNA SEE THERE?
387
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,189
IS THIS LIKE
A TRIPLE-DATE THING?
388
00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:57,712
I THINK SO.
ALL RIGHT, COOL.
389
00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,061
I'LL SEE YOU THERE.
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
390
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,454
BYE.
391
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,767
WHAT IS TODAY'S DATE?
392
00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:11,900
THE 23rd.
393
00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,771
AND THE YEAR IS?
394
00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:16,600
2014.
395
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,689
HAVE YOU SEEN SARAH CONNOR?
396
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,648
SARAH CONNOR?
397
00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,606
SARAH CONNOR.
398
00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:24,652
IF YOU SEE HER,
TELL HER I AM LOOKING FOR HER.
399
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,045
AND YOU ARE?
400
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:27,655
I'LL BE BACK.
401
00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:43,453
EXCUSE ME.
402
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,455
COULD YOU HELP ME
FOR A SECOND?
403
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:49,503
NO, COULD YOU PLUG
MY PHONE IN FOR ME?
404
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:53,072
UM, I DON'T KNOW
IF THERE'S A PLUG NEARBY.
405
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:58,251
OH, NO. I'M JUST HANGING OUT
HERE AT THE BEACH.
406
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:03,647
OH, ARE YOU SURE?
407
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:04,909
OKAY.
408
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,520
THANK YOU.
409
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,052
EXCUSE ME.
COULD I ASK YOUR OPINION?
410
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:18,706
I'M HAVING A HECK OF A TIME.
411
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,229
I HAVE A DATE WITH A GUY.
412
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,536
HE'S SLIGHTLY YOUNGER
THAN ME.
413
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,233
AND I WANT YOU
TO BE HONEST WITH ME, OKAY?
414
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,844
HOW OLD
DO YOU THINK I LOOK?
415
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:29,369
I'M GONNA GO 65?
416
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,414
WAIT THERE, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT.
417
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,416
NOW HOW OLD DO I LOOK?
418
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,592
I GUESS
IT TAKES FIVE YEARS OFF.
419
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,420
GOOD. DON'T --
WE'RE GETTING THERE.
420
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:39,248
WE'RE GETTING THERE.
ALL RIGHT.
421
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,425
HOW ABOUT NOW?
422
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:44,210
DO I LOOK 35?
423
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,472
GETTING THERE.
424
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,822
WE'RE GETTING THERE?
FANTASTIC.
425
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:50,477
BUT HOW AM I GONNA HAVE SEX
FROM THIS DISTANCE?
426
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,174
THAT'S MY ONLY CONCERN.
427
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:53,610
YEAH, THAT'S A PROBLEM.
428
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,264
NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO
FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
429
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:56,787
YEAH, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
430
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,354
THANKS.
431
00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,835
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
432
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:07,189
EXCUSE ME.
HAVE YOU SEEN A RED SCOOTER?
433
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:08,712
NO.
NO, SORRY.
434
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,714
IF YOU SEE IT,
I'LL BE AROUND HERE, OKAY?
435
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:12,325
THANKS.
436
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,644
OH.
437
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:29,646
OH.
438
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,344
OH. OH.
439
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:35,086
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO IT?
GET OFF OF MY SCOOTER, MAN.
440
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,437
COME BACK HERE!
441
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:43,051
Announcer: AND NOW "BETTY
WHITE'S PEARLS OF WISDOM."
442
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:46,968
WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING ON THE ROAD
AND A DRIVER CUTS YOU OFF,
443
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:50,885
IT'S VERY EASY TO FIND YOURSELF
IN THE THROES OF ROAD RAGE.
444
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,061
BUT HERE'S A LITTLE TIP I USE
445
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:55,890
TO GET RID OF THAT FURY
IN A HURRY.
446
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:57,848
JUST PICTURE THE DRIVER NAKED.
447
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,592
AND THAT'S PROBABLY WHY
I DON'T DRIVE ANYMORE --
448
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,507
TOO MANY DISTRACTIONS.
449
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:08,555
BUT, HEY, IF YOU DON'T DRIVE,
YOU CAN NEVER GET ROAD RAGE.
450
00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:10,861
MM, MM.
451
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,082
IS SHE 25?
452
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,693
SHE'S PROBABLY IN HER 60s.
453
00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:19,392
SO YOURS IS SMALLER?
454
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,485
YOU WANT TO GO HAVE A DRINK?
455
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,531
I'LL BE BACK.
456
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:33,884
GET OFF OF MY SCOOTER, MAN.
457
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:38,628
COULD I ASK YOU
A MAN QUESTION?
458
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,674
IS SHE SINGLE?
NO.
30924
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